Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. 

As the Totty series is nearing it’s finale and I decided to throw in an extra part as part 3 went long. I’ve now got the chance to include one extra lady in the story. It can be anyone. I’ll take the most popular choices as far as I can but if the votes are tied I’ll use the most original choices.

I’ll keep a note of all names and if I do another series of Totty I’ll use them as the basis for the guest list.

There is also a vote on who wins the Totty Torture Wheel Challenge out of Team Totty – Amber Gill, Maisie Smith and Katie Thistleton or Team Hollywood – Thandie Newton, Rosamund Pike and Emily Blunt.

There is no consequences for who wins or loses only bragging rights.


https://hitster1.survey.fm/untitled-survey

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

This follows on from :- https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/13/totty-episode-8-the-series-finale-part-3-with-alice-fervonia-fallon-sherrock-becky-adlington-and-laura-carmichael-plus-unwilling-participants-laura-kuenssberg-and-sophy-ridge/

“Welcome back to part 4 of the series finale of Totty” a very messy and naked Maisie Smith said. “We’ll crack right on with Freaky Beaks. It features two rounds. The first one is a twist on Tweak the Beak from mid 1990’s CITV show Gimme 5. The second is a twist on body paintings done by French artist Yves Klein” she added. “Let’s welcome on the game’s competitors all famous for different things but having one thing in common an impressive beak. So lets here it for Becky “Beaky” Adlington, “Fallon “Falcon” Sherrock and Laura ” Almo”Carmichael” Maisie said as the three ladies all covered in Heinz products thanks to an earlier gunging all walked back on to huge cheers.

“Also please welcome back Tiswas legend and owner of the best nose in Tiswas history John Gorman” Maisie said as John joined them by video link from his home in Cheshire.

“I’ve given my nose a good rest and I’m raring to go” John replied laughing. “It’s great to have you back on and you will be our impartial judge” Maisie added. “Yes I’m perfectly qualified” John replied turning sideways on to display his nose. “Okay lets bring on the beaks for Tweak the Beak” Maisie said. Four covered objects were wheeled on and Maisie unveiled them all.

“You ****** bitch” Becky screamed crying with laughter. “That is bloody cruel” Fallon shouted. Laura stood there just shaking her head. The 4 giant model noses and seats similar to above had been modeled to look like John, Becky, Fallon and Laura. “Anything to say Laura?” Maisie asked. “Can I take mine home afterwards?” Laura asked. “Yes, but it won’t fit on the Tube or even inside a Tube tunnel” Maisie replied. “I wasn’t expecting that” Fallon admitted. “At least it’s to scale” Becky replied laughing going to stand next to hers and lining her nose up against it as everyone cheered.

“To demonstrate this game please welcome Social Media sensation as seen on Strictly Come Dancing and who only missed out on being in the actual game by the width of a nostril. The gorgeous and impressively nosed Saffron “Snozzle” Barker” Maisie said. Saffron walked on to lots of whistles and cheers in a sexy pink tie dye bikini.

“Thanks for agreeing to come and join us Saffron” Maisie said as she hugged her. “I had been booked to appear on the show but then I got invited onto Holly’s House Party but I had to withdraw from Totty” Saffron replied. “Well you appeared on HHP and we rebooked you for tonight. So can you take a seat under John’s nose and you’ll demonstrate how this game works” Maisie said. Saffron sat down on the seat under John’s nose. “I can see right up your nose John” she said laughing. “Well I can see down your cleavage” John replied as Saffron squealed and pulled her bikini top up.

“We will be asking the ladies questions which do have a correct answer but in Totty tradition we will be giving bonus points for cruel and amusing fake answers. If they answer correctly they stay dry. If they get it wrong they get gunged and if they give an amusing wrong answer they get a bonus point but are gunged and have to remove an item of clothing” Maisie explained. “I think we’ll see a lot of amusing wrong answers” Saffron shouted laughing and sticking her tongue out. “Finally it’s not green slime, it’s real green products you’ll all be gunged with” Maisie concluded.

“Okay Saffron what stroke did Becky win all her 4 Olympic Medals at?” Maisie asked. “The correct answer is freestyle” Saffron replied. “The wrong answer could be butterfly” Saffron added and a load of green soup shot down John’s nose and over her long blonde hair and bikini clad body. Wiping her eyes and giggling Saffron said “It should have been the back stroke as with that beak in the air they would have all thought it was a basking shark and Becky would have fun the races unchallenged”. “Sarcastic bitch” Becky yelled laughing. Saffron got hit by another deluge of green soup. “You’d earn a bonus point for that but you know what else you need to do Saffron” Maisie said.

Laughing Saffron removed her bikini top to reveal her young succulent breasts as the audience cheered and whistled. Saffron hopped out of her seat and joined Maisie who said “Can Becky, Fallon and Laura take their seats under their respective beaks” Maisie said as the ladies did so.

“Okay first question Beaky sorry I mean Becky is.

Hello everyone I’m Kayla Braxton and this is my fellow special correspondent Charly Caruso and we are proud to bring you this special edition of Celebrity Supporters Wam League on this side of the pond. The night after Summerslam we will be having a very special “match” on Raw that is sure to spike the ratings.

Now what match well that will be up to an old favorite the RAW ROULETTE wheel

“There are some many interesting options here from classics like Pillow fights and a persona l favorite of mine the Fulfill your fantasy match to new school wedges like Buffet Bash and Cream Pie Crashdown”

“Yes, Kayla some truly scrumptious match possibilities….but just who will be in this match…..well that is up to you. Fans of the Network will get the chance to vote who will be settling the score the night after Summerslam. You will be tasked with nominating not ONE but TWO women for this. They can be besties, co-stars, frenemies or just plain enemies. Just who you want to see go mano y mano”

“Now we know many people would love to settle some scores so it will be up to you to EARN that right. All you have to do is predict some facets of how Summerslam will go down. This survey will have a number of questions worth 10 points each. Here is the current card. So go ahead and get those noms in before the 19th”

“We will be back this Monday for a preview show of sorts with  few special guests and we shall see how that goes. Till then TTFN”

Street Profits(c) vs Andrade and Angel Garza Tag Team Title

Drew Mcintrye(c) vs Randy Orton WWE title

Apollo(c) vs MVP US Title

Dominik Mysterio(Son of Rey) vs Seth Rollins

Sasha Banks(c) vs Asuka  Raw Womens Title

Bayley(c) vs Asuka SD Womens Title

Braun(c) vs Bray Wyatt Universal Title

Mandy vs Sonya Hair vs Hair

So I have discovered that shorter more focused stories are easier for me to finish up and a small CSWL is just such an idea. Cant wait to see who gets nominated

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature.

The TV studio is in complete darkness as there are excited murmurs from the expectant audience. All of a sudden strobe lighting and the champions league theme tune fill the studio. As the audience applaud heartedly, the shows hosts walk on and face the cameras.

Kirsty: “Hello all again, and what a show we have for you tonight! My name is Kirsty Gallacher…”

Hayley: “…and my name is Hayley McQueen! We have the results from the Champions League quarter-final matches, Challenge Diletta, an update on our Quiz, and we will be awarding our first spot prize.

Quarter-Final Results

Kirsty: “Now that all the quarter-final matches have been played, let’s confirm the results from the matches….”

Atalanta 1-2 PSG

RB Leipzig 2-1 Atletico Madrid

Barcelona 2-8 Bayern Munich

Manchester City 1-3 Lyon

Hayley: “PSG came back from behind to score 2 late goals to get the better of Atalanta, whilst in a tight game, Red Bull Leipzig overcame Atletico Madrid to win by a single goal…”

Kirsty: “Bayern Munich trounced Barcelona by a massive 8 goals to 2, to set up a semi-final with Lyon who put in a courageous effort against the more fancied Manchester City side.

Hayley: “Therefore we have two German teams and two French teams through to the semi-finals, and they line up like this:-

Tuesday 18th August – PSG v RB Leipzig

Wednesday 19th August – Bayern Munich v Lyon

Challenge Diletta

Hayley: “Moving on to our feature ‘Challenge Diletta’. As a reminder, her challenge was to score a penalty against the Atalanta reserve goalkeeper during half-time of the Atalanta v PSG match. Let’s see how she got on…”

The blonde host half-turned to observe the large TV monitor which started to show a pre-recorded VT from the Estadio da Luz. Chega Mais girls Ana and Barbara are shown situated at the side of the pitch, and they are eagerly watching what is happening on the pitch.

The first half whistle had just been blown, and while the players were leaving the field of play, the reserve Atalanta goalkeeper took his place in the goal on the far left. The stadium announcer explains what Diletta has to do. The blonde Italian still has her microphone in her hand, as she is also reporting on the match for Italian sports news TV. She knows that not only will this challenge be shown on Kirsty and Hayley’s show, it is also being broadcast live to all of the Italian sports TV viewers. Wearing a short white and blue patterned dress, the 28 year old waits for the announcer to finish. With all eyes on her, Diletta approached the ball and with some skilful technique, strikes the ball with the instep of her right foot. The ball rockets towards the goal and for a second, everyone draws breath in anticipation. Diletta watches as the goalkeeper first moves to his right, initially choosing the wrong side of the goal. The busty blonde’s eyes light up as she can see the ball careering towards the corner of the goal. The goalkeeper quickly checks his stride and starts to move along his line, before diving to his left at full stretch. Will he get there in time? He seems to be very motivated to prevent a goal being scored and manages to get his fingertips to the ball, and duly diverts the direction of the ball so it flashes wide of the post.

Ana and Barbara start to jump up and down excitedly on the touch line, as the few people in the stadium applaud the efforts of the Italian goalkeeper. Shocked at coming so close to scoring, Diletta turns around and pleads if she can have another go, given she was so close. Her pleas fall on deaf ears, as Ana and Barbara stride on to the pitch, interlock their arms with hers and escort the blonde to pitch side. Secretly, Diletta wasn’t particularly bothered about having to do a forfeit. She felt that her fans would get a kick out of seeing her gunged, and she loved being the centre of attention. However, that thought suddenly changed as she came face to face with a large tin bath and peered inside it. Rather than being filled with something sweet like custard, she gulped hard as she saw it had been filled up to half-way with a rather revolting looking brown sludge.

Diletta: “Ugh, what’s in there?”

Barbara smiles “We’ve visited all the concession stands around the stadium, and they have been able to give us quite a lot of stuff. Ana, do you have that list we put together?”

Ana: “Oh yes, let me read it out:- Bovril, chicken balti, gravy, steak pie, lager, hamburger relish, cooking oil, ice cream, melted cheese – and it’s all been mixed together to create this brownish lumpy slosh you can see now.”

Diletta: “That is truly disgusting!”

Barbara: “Come along Diletta, we don’t have long before the second half starts. Time for your bath!”

The two Brazilians chortled as the busty blonde gingerly stepped into the bath. The look on her face was priceless as she felt the sludge squirm between her toes. Very slowly, Diletta lowered herself until she was sitting down in the bath. Her legs sank beneath the stinky surface, whilst the gunk level came up to just below her breasts. She felt the cold sloppy mess soak into her dress and knickers as she wriggled around in the bath

Ana: “Enjoying yourself Diletta?”

Diletta: “It feels so yucky!”

Ana: “Oops, we forgot to add the condiments to the bath. Tell you what, we’ll do that now!”

Diletta looked up at the wrong moment as both Ana and Barbara started squeezing large catering-sized plastic bottles over her head. Ana had mustard and Barbara had tomato sauce, and they made sure the 28 year old got a thorough coating, paying particular attention to her face, hair and cleavage.

Putting the bottles down, the Chega Mais picked up an empty bucket each and were quick to use them to scoop up some of the brown sludge from inside the bath, before pouring it over the busty blonde’s head. Diletta squealed as the cold lumpy slop coated her.

Barbara: “More good news for you Diletta! You still have to report on the rest of the match for Italian sports news TV, but you can stay right here in the bath! Haha!”

Ana hands Diletta a microphone “You’ll be needing this!”

(Authors Note: Diletta sat in the cold bath for the rest of the match, giving match updates to Italian sports viewers, which was made more difficult by the cheeky Chega Mais girls as they periodically filled their buckets with the brown gunge and poured it over her)

Kirsty and Hayley’s Champions League Quiz

Kirsty: “Lovely elongated gunging there for Diletta! I’m sure she will be hoping she succeeds in her next challenge, but more about that later. Let’s turn our attention to our quiz, and we can provide an update on the scores.”

Hayley: “Now that all the quarter final matches have been completed, the answers to a further 4 questions are now known. Starting with the first goal in the Atalanta v PSG match, the time it was scored was 26 minutes. Points go to any lady whose guess was 10 minutes either side, which means 14 ladies get the full 10 points.”

Kirsty: “We also asked how many goals would be scored across all 4 quarter finals. There were a total of 20 goals which unfortunately no viewer correctly predicted, therefore everyone scores 0 points”

Hayley: “As Barcelona got knocked out of the tournament, we can also score the Messi Goals question earlier than expected. Despite coming close on a couple of occasions, the Argentinian didn’t manage to score any, so only one lady guessed 0 goals and that was Miranda Kerr who gets 10 points.”

Kirsty: “And finally due to the surprising defeat for Manchester City, we can also score the question which asked how far City would go in the competition. Their defeat to Lyon is certainly confirmed as a surprise, as no viewer thought they would get knocked out at the Quarter-Final stage, so another 0 points to all.”

Hayley: “After putting all of those scores in the computer, we now have an updated quiz table….”

Kirsty: “With 5 of the 8 questions now completed, we have a clear leader – it’s Australian Miranda Kerr with 30 points. I am pretty sure the model will be hoping her viewer doesn’t do too well in the remaining questions. In fact, we’ve heard that she is praying for no more points from the remaining 3 questions”

Hayley: “A host of ladies are tying for second place – 12 of them in fact. They are only 10 points behind the leader so any one of them could conceivably take the lead with a couple of correct predictions”

Kirsty: “6 ladies are in joint 14th place and any of these would have to have a very strong finish to challenge for first place”

Hayley: “Which leaves us with 1 lady in last place with 0 points. Gal Gadot will be thanking her lucky stars that her viewer hasn’t got any of the 5 questions correct. In fact, she is so happy, we hear she has got her hula hoop out to celebrate!”

Kirsty: “Don’t forget, the winner of the quiz will receive a rather messy prize on our final show, and I certainly wouldn’t want to be her!”

Spot Prize

Kirsty: “Throughout our little quiz, we are going to award spot prizes. The first of these concerned the time of the first goal scored in the Atalanta v PSG quarter-final match. After some initial erroneous reporting by some sports news networks, the time of the first goal was 26 minutes.”

Hayley: “No viewer predicted that exact time, but we had two viewers who had selected 25 minutes and another viewer who had guessed 27 minutes. Therefore all 3 have been declared as the nearest, which means a trio of ladies will get to receive a very special spot prize”

Kirsty: “To help us give out the spot prizes, we have the Chega Mais girls here with us tonight”

On walked 12 sexy ladies wearing little black dresses and black high heel shoes.

They make their way to a part of the studio that has a curtain pulled across and giggle to each other as they draw the curtain to reveal 3 ladies in evening gowns and high heel shoes with their arms above their heads and their hands secured to pairs of handcuffs dangling from the overhead beam. Over each ladies head is also a large pink balloon.

Hayley: “Please put your hands together for the joint winners of our first spot prize – Australian wrestler Billie Kay, Games of Thrones actress Rose Leslie, and one of my esteemed sports news presenter colleagues, Vicky Gomersall”

The studio audience applaud loudly as they take in the sight of the squirming threesome.

Hayley: “Thanks to the Chega Mais girls for helping out tonight. I know you’ve got to film the next episode of your show later on, so it’s great you can spare the time for us.”

Ana: “No problem Hayley. As you can see we have brought the same overhead beam and dangling handcuffs we used on the university students last week.”

Hayley: “Hmm,  I think I might prefer those rascals to be in the cuffs again, rather than these three lovely ladies. That was such fun, and we enjoyed helping you girls get the students really messy, didn’t we Kirsty?”

Kirsty: “Yes definitely!”

Hayley starts to smile “In fact, Kirsty enjoyed it so much, she took a shine to one of them.

The divorced 44 year old’s eyes widened “Shhh Hayley, that’s not news that I would want broadcast on national TV?”

Hayley had a cheeky glimmer in her eye as she ignored her colleague and continued to probe “What’s his name and how old is he?”

With a guilty expression, Kirsty lowered her voice as she answered “He’s called Kevin and he’s 21 years old”

Hayley: “Blimey, talk about cradle snatching! So Kirsty tell us about the events last night that preceded that very naughty photo you sent me!”

Clearing her throat, and now regretting sending her co-host that saucy picture last night, she realised she would have to tell all as the camera focused in on her. Kirsty replied “Kevin and I went out to a swanky restaurant in Lisbon’s cultural centre and had a lovely candlelight meal….”

Hayley: “and?…”

Kirsty: “We decided to go back to my hotel room to eat our chocolate mousses and I (ahem!) accidentally spilled some on him.”

Hayley: “…and where did you spill it on him?”

Kirsty: “Erm, in his pants!”

Hayley: “Really?”

Kirsty smiled “YES REALLY! and I obviously I didn’t want to waste any and I had to make sure to clean him up”

Hayley had a twinkle in her eye “Ah, and how did you do that?”

By this point, Kirsty’s cheeks had gone a deep shade of red “I didn’t have a spare towel, so I had to improvise”

Hayley: “….with what?”

Speaking very quietly, Kirsty answered “…with my tongue!!! Now, enough with all of these questions, can we carry on with the show?”

Hayley smiled: “You sexy cougar! I bet Kevin loved that!”

Kirsty also smiled but ignored the cheeky comment from the blonde co-host, and moved the conversation swiftly back to the three handcuffed ladies.

Kirsty: “Good evening everyone. Congratulations on being our winners of the spot prize. Rose and Vicky, you’ve appeared on these types of shows before, but for Billie this is your debut isn’t it?”

Billie: “Yeah it is! I can’t believe I’ve been nominated for this silly quiz. Tell me, do I get to meet the guy who nominated me for this?”

Kirsty: “Unfortunately he’s not here tonight, but what would you do if you met him”

Billie: “Hmm, I can think of a few things, but I would love to get him in the ring and go a few rounds with him! That would teach him!”

Kirsty glances down at her watch “Ok then, we need to get our skates on otherwise we’re going to run out of time. Chega Mais girls, please do your stuff!”

Three of the girls promptly picked up bright pink coloured custard pies and slapped them into the faces of the trio. They gasped as they felt the custard and cream dripping from their faces and onto their shoulders and cleavage.

Another three girls showed the audience they had long sharp needles in their hands, and one by one they pierced the pink balloons over the ladies heads to reveal that the balloons were filled with thick green gunge, which slopped over the cuffed ladies and made a mess of their hair.

A mechanical whirring sound made the ladies look down to find that the floor beneath them had been retracted to reveal a large underfloor vat and now lapping at their feet, was thick yellow custard.

Billie shouted out “You’ve gotta be jokin’ me!” as her handcuffs were unlocked and the Australian had no where else to go, but downwards, straight into the custard vat. Rose and Vicky duly followed, leaving all three wallowing in the thick custard. As the audience cheered and applauded with delight, the three spot prize winners managed to haul themselves out of the vat. Completely covered in gunge and custard, their dresses were coated as each lady wiped their eyes and tried to clean the muck away from their faces.

Hayley turned to the camera: “An excellent sploshing there for our 3 winners! We will be awarding another spot prize during our next show, which Kirsty will tell you all about now”

Next Spot Prize Preview

Kirsty: “Our next spot prize will feature the first semi-final match which will be contested by PSG and RB Leipzig. Again, we are looking for the time of the first goal scored.”

Hayley: “For ease, the graphic on screen now shows the guesses for each lady in ascending order. I wonder who it will be this time? Will we get another three-way tie, or will a sole lady be the recipient of the prize? Back over to you Kirsty…”

Diletta’s Next Challenge

Kirsty: “Unfortunately Diletta can’t be with us tonight to find out about her next challenge. Some excuse about having to wash her hair! You would think she had just been gunged with concession stall leftovers on live TV! Haha!”

With an envelope in her hand, Hayley proceeds to open it and reads aloud “For the next task on ‘Challenge Diletta’, our favourite Italian sports news presenter will have to turn her skills to the sport of golf! Her challenge is to have three attempts at trying to hit the ball over 200 yards from the first tee. Oh, and if that wasn’t enough for the challenge, Diletta has to wear a skimpy swimsuit whilst she attempts it.”

Kirsty: “That sounds like an easy challenge to me. Don’t forget to tune in to our next episode to see how Diletta fares on the golf course!”

(Authors Note: The fate of Diletta is in your hands! Which teams will progress to the Final? The option that receives the most votes will be used to decide her fate…

•If none of the teams in the most voted for option go through, then Diletta succeeds.
•If only 1 of the teams go through then Diletta loses her challenge.
•If both teams go through then Diletta’s forfeit will be messier and more humiliating)

Poll closes shortly before the first semi-final match on Tuesday 18th

Wrap-Up

Hayley: “So that’s about it for this evenings episode. Join us again for our fourth show which will air after both semi-finals have been played.”

Kirsty is already striding off the stage.

Hayley: “Hey, where are you off to in such a hurry?”

Kirsty looks back at her colleague “I’m meeting up with Kevin and his university student friends for a few drinks. Do you want to come?”

Hayley thought for a second before nodding her head and jogged to catch up with Kirsty. Both ladies giggled to each other as they departed the stage.

Georgie Barrat stood on the main stage, she was excited and a fraction nervous as she stood wearing what was clearly her own holiday outfit, having been enjoying a break in Barcelona when her agent had got a call to ask if she would present a TV show.

“Hello and welcome to a Spanish Grand Prix Gunge Show”

I’m Georgie Barrat And I’m please to be getting the chance to host my own show, stepping slightly away from the gadget show into sports territory.

We are live from Barcelona where Lewis Hamilton will line up on pole position alongside his teammate Bottas for what we expect to be a largely unexciting race, however the TV company wanted to spice things up, so have a special event organised.

You at home will get to vote for which one of our lovely ladies will be getting messy if Mercedes win and if they finish first and second two of our Spanish TV presenting colleagues will be getting very messy.

Four ladies walked out onto the stage area, somewhat nervously as they waved to the camera’s more used to being on their own in the lead presenter role, none of them wanted to get messy.

Georgie introduced the presenters as Anna Simon, Cristina Pedroche, Pilar Rubio and Berta Collado. She was hoping for a Mercedes 1-2 because it would ensure two of the four presenters would be getting messy at her hands.

“Now you might be wondering what happens in the unlikely event that Mercedes don’t win?

Well that would be very unfortunate for me as it would be me getting messy instead, at the hands of all four guests, so come on Mercedes!” she shouted loudly.

Each of the four ladies were given a chance to introduce themselves properly, starting with the blonde hair Anna.

“Hi everyone, I’m Anna Simón Marí ‘she added with emphasis in the direction of Georgie who had clearly been pronouncing Anna’s named incorrectly until now’

I am 38 years old and have been working on Spanish TV since I was 22.

Most of the time I work on comedy TV shows so you should vote elsewhere if you ant someone who isn’t used to be a bit of silly TV”

After this the dark-haired Cristina Pedroche, who was wearing a black dress introduced herself, she was 31 years old.

And in addition to presenting TV shows she had previously worked as a model and was formerly an actresses, with her most recent acting role coming to an end in 2014.

“please don’t vote for me, you know that the other ladies are much more deserving of a special treat, let me go home and enjoy a nice meal cooked by my husband who is a professional chef.

Georgie moved along the line giving a chance for the third women to introduce herself to the audience.

“Hi everyone, I am Pilar Rubio I am 42 years old which is one good reason not to vote for me, remember to always respect your more experienced colleagues. The presenter who wore a mainly white dress which showed off her large cleavage spoke confidently.

Plus, my husband has recently suffered a large disappointment, and it would not be fair on our children if both of us were having a bad time.

Additionally I suggest considering voting for Christina as she once took my role on Sé lo que hicisteisand for that reason alone she should get messy!

The striking woman announced leaving her colleague Christina opened mouth at her dragging up old news to influence the vote.

Finally, it was the turn of Berta Collado, who wore a grey dress with black accents around her breasts to introduce herself, she was 41 and had been involved in television presenting for over 20 years making her another veteran, something she was keen to point out.

She then raised the point that of the three of them only Anna Simon was from Barcelona and so logically it would be easier for her to get home and cleaned up compared to the other ladies, something Christina and Pilar nodded in agreement with.

“So there we have it, all four ladies have introduced themselves you have until the end of the race to get your votes in for one of the ladies, none of whom had a convincing argument as to why they should be spared I think” As she said this all four Spanish women glared at Georgie’s back.

“Don’t forget to join us later aft the race to see which two of the ladies behind me will be getting messy after a dominant 1-2 win for Mercedes” she said with a wink to the camera as the program came to a close.

Vote for your option left to right is option 1 to 4. (can pick 2 if you want)

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. May contain disturbing nineties flashbacks.

Holly leaves the four Trip contenders to argue their differences in “The Groper” and steps through a doorway into the main hall of the Great House.

Holly: [to audience] What? What you looking at me like that for? So I’ve got a chip shop attached to my house. It’s listed so I can’t get rid of it, even though it is an eyesore for the whole parish. And speaking of parishes, it’s time to round things off for our naughty church girls, Connie and Joanna!

Holly once again strolls up to the giant sundae glass where the two girls are squelching uncomfortably in their coats of tomato ketchup and sour cream dip, having stood there for the best part of an hour now.

Holly: Oh yes, this pair’s night out at Crinkley Bottom hasn’t gone quite the way they expected, but they should know that if God doesn’t catch up with your sins, Auntie Holly will! [A montage of the evening’s events plays while Holly speaks] They spiked the sundaes at their church fête with gross flavours, and thought it was awfully funny, but now the aftertaste has come back to haunt them! So far we’ve done the strawberry ice cream that was actually ketchup, and the vanilla that was actually sour chive, but there’s one more to go! Audience, you’ve been very helpful reminding me, but for this one I want to hear it from the horses’ mouths. So Joanna, tell me, what was the flavour you used in place of mint chocolate chip?

Joanna: [gulps slightly] Spinach purée.

Holly: [takes a step away from the glass] And Connie, what do you think is going to be dumped on you and Joanna, right now?

Connie: [cringes] …Spinach purée!

Holly: Oh they’re good at this, aren’t they!

Once again, screams and moans are quickly muffled to glubs as the thick and very green paste completely cakes the hapless pair.

Holly: [raises a hand to quieten the cheering audience] Oh, but we haven’t done the actual chocolate chips yet! What were they, anyone?

Someone from audience: Gravy granules!!

Holly: Oh that’s right! Gravy granules! [To crew] Can we give them some gravy…?

Holly: Magic, ta! Well girls, it’s fair to say you’ve done your penance. But I do have a couple more surprises for you. The first – just take a look who’s in the gardens of the Great House!

The camera cuts to an outdoor scene, tables laid out with refreshments. A throng of well-dressed ladies and gents, including a vicar, cheer and wave.

Holly: Oh yes! The good folk from your church, St Leon’s in Demsdon, have come along for a garden party, and they’d be delighted if you could join them!

Stagehands begin to wheel the sundae glass away towards the front door, the green and brown girls still inside it.

Holly: I realise you’re not exactly looking your best for such a social occasion, but don’t worry – your friends are very polite and they probably won’t mention it, eh?

Having spluttered away the slop from their mouths and blinked clear their eyes, Connie and Joanna shake their heads ruefully.

Holly: Which brings me to the second surprise: because you’ve been such spiffing sports, we’re going to donate £10,000 towards your church’s new bells – how about that!

The girls’ eyes (as much of them as can be seen) light up.

Holly: Ladies and Gentleman – Connie West and Joanna Davidson!

The audience applauds as the two girls are hauled out of the front door and out of view.

Holly: Well they grabbed ten grand; will it be you [points at the screen] who grabs one or two more? It’s time for the Money Box!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

This follows on from :- https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/15/totty-episode-8-the-series-finale-part-4-with-fallon-sherrock-becky-adlington-laura-carmichael-saffron-barker-and-louise-redknapp/

“Welcome back to Totty” the very messy and naked Maisie Williams said. ” We are playing Freaky Beaks with Becky Adlington, Fallon Sherrock and Laura Carmichael assisted by Saffron Barker and John Gorman. In the first part we played an updated version of Tweak the Beak. Now we will complete this game by doing a twist on Body Painting by French Artist Yves Klein” she added with a puzzled look. “I’ve heard of Calvin Klein I wear some of his briefs when I remember to put any on. But I’ve never heard of Yves Klein” Maisie said with a confused look on her face.

Tiswas legend John Gorman came onto the video link “Yves Klein was a maverick French Artist who painted mainly in blue and covered his naked models in blue paint and got them to do body prints on giant canvasses. I’m much more than a pretty face” he said smiling. “Okay welcome back the ladies” Maisie said as the four laughing girls all messy and topless walked back on. Becky and Saffron were in bikini briefs. Laura in Denim Shorts and Fallon in a pair of grey knickers.

Maisie was still looking at Fallon’s knickers and laughing. “Where did you get those from?” Maisie asked. “Primark why? 5 pairs for £8. Great value” Fallon replied laughing. “Okay Saffron will now demonstrate what will happen in this round” Maisie said as Saffron stepped forward. “We need something blue. Please read this Saffron” Maisie added. Saffron looked at the cue card and read out “Perf as a Smurf” and got doused in several buckets of blue gunge. Eight giant vertical 6ft high by 4ft wide cream pies which were at least 6 inches deep were pushed on. Maisie picked up a bucket of blueberry juice and emptied it over Saffron’s head and then pointed to the first giant pie. “That is your canvas. Saffron please create your art” John said.

Saffron laughing threw herself face first into the first vertical pie and created a huge blue imprint in it. Maisie helped her out of the pie and they admired the blue imprint she had created. “Great body shape and superb nose depth” Maisie said looking at it. “We will be measuring nose depth and judging the girls on artistic impression” John added. “I hope the pie is deep enough for Becky otherwise her nose will come out the back” Fallon said laughing. “You’ll come through the other side of yours like a hunting trophy” Becky replied. “I’m thinking of buying some more of those Primark knickers” Laura added jokingly.

“Right Laura whilst you dream of owning some of those Primark knickers. You are going first in this round” Maisie said smiling. “Must I” Laura groaned. “Yes you’ve got to say Perf as a Smurf” Maisie said and got doused with several buckets of blue gunge. “What am I like” she said laughing. “Okay Perf as a Smurf” Laura shouted and several buckets of thick blue gunge were thrown over her. Maisie picked up a bucket of Blueberry Juice and emptied it over Laura’s heed. Hardly able to believe what she was doing Laura stood up and looked at her giant vertical pie. She took a deep breath and sprinted at it. She leapt hard into the cream and there was a thud and a scream as the pie fell forward and hit the floor. Laughter came from within the cream as Maisie helped Laura up out of the cream. “I’ve banged my ****** nose” Laura said as she emerged covered in cream.

“Are you okay?” Maisie asked. “It’s only my pride. I ran at that too hard and my nose hit the back of the bloody pie” Laura said as they looked at the indent left in the cream. “That is 6 inches depth” Maisie said measuring it. “It has to be a ten for Artistic Impression” John added. “Okay Becky it’s your turn now” Maisie said. “A bucket and six inches sounds like Becky having a great time” Fallon quipped. “I bet your blokes grab hold of your nose when you ride them” Fallon replied. “Course they do” Becky fired back. “What about you Laura?” Fallon asked as Laura was still rubbing her nose. “What sorry?” Laura replied/ “Okay Becky say the line” Maisie said. “What line?” Becky asked. “I thought I was supposed to be the stupid one. It’s Perf as a Smurf” Maisie said and got hit with half a dozen more buckets of blue gunge. “You are still stupid don’t worry” Becky responded. “Perf as a Smurf” Becky said laughing and got hit with the buckets of blue gunge.

Maisie picked up another bucket of Blueberry Juice and stuck it over Becky’s head. “Her beak has got stuck in the bucket” Fallon yelled as Becky removed the bucket. “Sorry Fallon but I’ve got to do this” Becky replied pulling down Fallon’s grey Primark knickers to reveal her muff which was dyed red and green like a bullseye on a Dartboard. The audience whistled and cheered as Fallon stood there with her knickers around her ankles. Becky ran at her giant cream pie and went right into it emerging slowly covered with cream. “That is 5 inches depth” Maisie said measuring it. “I’ll give it nine for Artistic Impression” John said.

“Okay Fallon you know what to say” Maisie said. “Perf as a Smurf” Fallon replied giggling and she got drenched with several buckets of blue gunge. Becky stuck the bucket of Blueberries over Fallon’s head as Fallon screamed in surprise. Fallon ran towards her giant pie as Maisie shouted “Your knickers” . But Fallon tripped and went headfirst into her pie and slid face first down it. “Her nose cut the cream like a hot knife through butter” Laura quipped. Maisie went to help Fallon up and measured the depth. “5.5 inches” she said. “The Artistic Impression mark is only a 7” John added. “But doesn’t the bullseye count too Fallon said pointing to her muff, I should get 57” she yelled. Suddenly she and Maisie were hit with another huge deluge of Heinz products and fell backwards into Fallon’s giant cream pie which crashed to the floor.

“You girls are getting me so messy” Maisie said sliding into her splits in the cream and the Heinz mush. She and Fallon emerged totally covered and bedraggled. “Okay Saffron show us the last round” Maisie spluttered. “Yves Klein covered his naked models in blue paint so we’ll do the same” Saffron said as a large bath full of blue substance was wheeled on. “This is blue poster paint, mixed with gunge and custard” Saffron added. She removed her bikini briefs to huge cheers to reveal a clean shaven muff and climbed into the bath and submerged herself beneath the blue gunk. She emerged totally covered and threw herself at her second giant pie. Before emerging from it with her frontage covered in cream and took a bow.

“Right it is reverse order so Fallon first” Maisie said. Becky pushed Fallon into the Blue gunge and Fallon emerged spluttering and totally covered. She wiped her eyes and threw herself into her second giant pie doing a wide pose. She slowly emerged covered in cream. Maisie measured the depth. “That has to be a ten for Artistic Impression” John said. “She has achieved 6 inches too” Maisie added. “Okay Becky your turn” Maisie said. Fallon ran over and pulled down Becky’s bikini briefs. She had a neatly trimmed blonde muff. “See I am a natural blonde” she joked as she dived into the bath and emerged totally blue.

She charged at her second giant pie and went crashing into it and there was a ripping sound. Maisie ran over to the cream pie and burst out laughing as Becky’s head was partly sticking out of the back. “Becky has achieved 8.5 inches” Maisie said. “That has to be eleven out of ten from me” John said as Becky slowly emerged. “Right Laura your turn” Maisie said. Fallon had grabbed hold of Laura and was trying to get her denim shorts off. Becky ran over to help and they pulled the struggling Laura’s shorts off to reveal she too was wearing a pair of grey Primark knickers. “Okay I bought a pack of 5 for £8 and lent a pair to Fallon as she didn’t want to get her Ann Summers thong messy. I knew I was going to get gunged so bought something cheap and practical” Laura admitted. “Chav” Becky yelled as she and Fallon picked up Laura and dunked her head first into the bath before submerging her completely.

They plucked her out of it and threw her into her second giant cream pie. Pulling down her knickers to expose her pale slender bum. She tried to emerge from the pie but slipped and pulled the pie on top of her. The other girls rushed to lift it off her as Laura emerged covered in cream but with a clean shaven muff viable. “Lady Edith Crawley in scutty grey Primark Knickers sensation” Maisie said. “Where are they” Laura yelled reaching down for her knickers as Becky threw them into the crowd. “Naked as the day Carson saw you being born” Maisie added as Laura stood there naked rather embarrassed.

“Laura’s last attempt was void so I’m calling it a draw” John announced. Laura was still very conscious about being naked as Fallon and Becky pushed her forward. “No hard feelings about the nose jokes girls” Maisie said hugging them all. “None at all” Becky replied as the girls dumped Maisie into the bath of blue mush and stood there laughing at her. Maisie emerged totally blue and said “Becky you can really swim, Laura didn’t quite win, Fallon’s muff looks like a bullseye, Here is my bull treat from the sky”. A load of sticky cloudy substance crashed down over Becky, Fallon, Laura and Saffron. “What is that” Laura screamed. “It’s Bullshit” Becky screamed. “No it was bull spunk but your wish is my command” Maisie replied ducking back under the blue mush as a load of dark smelly substance rained down onto the girls.

Laura fell onto the floor, pulling over Becky, Fallon fell headfirst into the bath and Saffron slipped onto her bum as all the girls struggled to get up out of the sticky smelly mess. “Never underestimate me” Maisie concluded emerging from under the blue mush and beating a hasty retreat whilst the other ladies floundered about on the floor.

The naked and messy Amber Gill and Katie Thistleton walked back onto the stage. “Please give it up for Tiswas legend John Gorman” Amber said as John waved bye from his video link. “Please give it up for Becky Adlington, Fallon Sherrock, Laura Carmichael and Saffron Barker” Katie said as the girls were lead to the Cage to join a laughing Emily Blunt and a screaming Laura Kuenssberg, Sophy Ridge and Rachel Burden. “They all smell” Rachel screamed as Becky chased her around the cage. Sophy was cornered by Fallon. Laura K was backing away from Saffron and Emily was giggling at the state of Laura C. “I cannot believe you did that to them” Emily yelled laughing loudly.

“Can we please welcome our special guest the ever gorgeous Louise Redknapp” Katie said as Louise walked on in a sexy bra barely containing her impressive breasts and a pair of pink jogging bottoms.

“We have finally got you on Totty” Amber said. “Yes I’m here and my two lads will no doubt be hiding behind their eyes when I perform” Louise replied. “It is so great to have you on here, the all time most popular FHM Hot 100 girl and now an amazing MILF” Katie added. “What will you be performing or need we ask?” Amber said. “I’ll be performing the only song I could on Totty. I’ll be singing Naked” Louise replied giggling. “We’ll be your backing dancers” Katie said. “That is what I was worried about” Louise responded smiling.

Suddenly there was a huge commotion by the cage as someone was trying to open it and appeared to be grappling with Emily. “What the ****” Katie yelled and sprinted towards the cage as Louise and Amber were stood there. “Join us in Part 5 for the rest of the debauchery” Amber shouted as she too ran towards the cage to see what was happening.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe.  This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

“Hello everyone we are back with an update on how the voting process has been going so far and later in the show we will be joined by a special “guest” who some of you might just recently have seen elsewhere”

“The nominations have produced some interesting results. So far we have seen a pair of dueling “reality” celebs with a Jenner vs a Kardshian….as well as a couple of musical pairings”

“We have also seen some interesting fan match-ups such as F1 vs Moto GP with presenters for each on the line, a match-up that is booked based on their university the graduated from and apparently someone who liked the Percy Jackson movies”

“But perhaps the most interesting result is from one of our own WWE women. I feel like we need Booker T of Big E for this but we will soldier ahead anyway. One woman got nominated not once or twice of even 3 times but a whopping 5 times. We will talk to that lucky…or unlucky lady during our final update later this week when we reveal all the possibilities. ”

“Now on to some unfortunate news. We have had a number of entries that we have had to disqualify for a number of reasons. The most common was well just not nominating anyone at all …that just wont do”

“Second I know there are all kinds of people but we wont be allowing the vote for the Queen of England as a participant. I think her Beefeaters would have something to say about that”

“lastly we come to the most oddly interesting entry is one Sam Leterna who our crack researchers have narrowed down to a 3rd grade teacher who recently won a county chili cook off…or former independent wrestler turned interviewer Sam L’Eterna…But in a strange twist she was nominated to wrestle….HERSELF? Sorry buddy but we don’t have a clone machine”

“Now I know there has also been a question of what will happen in case of a tie. Now if it is just a tie between 2 people than all 4 (or possibly 3 ladies) will be involved…..but any group larger than that will to a random draw among the winners with 2 winners being chosen to get their nominees involved. ”

“Now before we go we have a special treat for you. It seems a certain ICONIC lady was a recent guest on one of Europe’s most watched programming blocks. And boy did she get the royal treatment ….and by that I mean the same kid of stuff they do to the Middleton Sisters”

We see a clip of Billie Kay suspended from handcuffs  as the Brazilian Chega Mais Girls delivered a creamy pie to the face of Billie Kay, followed by a green sliming and finally a drop into a custard pool.

For complete details see

https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/16/gunge-tastic-champions-league-ep-3

“Now lets kick it over to our special European correspondent Francesa Brown”

Francesca opened the door to the dressing room that Billie Kay had been sent to clean up in.

When she found Billie her hair was still wet and she was wrapped in only a towel

“Billie can I get a ….”

“HEY KAYLA…now is….wait you aren’t Kayla….Katy Perry???”

“No I get that a lot …I am Francesca Brown”

“WHO???”

“I am the NXT ring announcer”

“You’ve Gotta Be Joking Me…I am used to dealing with B-Team Kayla but you aren’t even an interviewer…you are D list…and you want to know what …how I felt while I just got out of the shower?

“Yes?”

Billie starts to fume…but then thinks better and clams down and has an idea.

“Now I can tell you how I felt…but I have a better Idea I will show you”

And with that Billie pulled out a pie she had hid behind her back and slammed it into Francesca’s face. While Francesca was blinded and disoriented she quickly led her to the table with extras from her earlier messing. She grabbed a bucket of green slime and poured it over her head…..then grabbed a jug of custard and pulled out the front of her dress and poured the cold custard over her cleavage and down her chest.

“So that is who it felt FranCESCA. Any Question?” She said with a bit of a sarcastic edge in her voice

“Just one. Do you have a towel….oh wait …I see one”

Billie blinked uncomprehending at first …but suddenly it came to her with fearful recognition.

“Oh No No NOOOOO” She panicked and began to run back to her dressing room. She was quick…but Francesca was quicker reaching out and grabbing the towel and ripping it from Billie’s body.

Billie screeched as she flung open the door and barreled in slamming it shut behind her. She mostly avoided the camera except for a great gratuitous shot of her beauteous booty as she bounced inside.

The Cameras cut back to Charly and Kayla

“Well that was unexpected but will do great for our ratings. See you in 2 days for our final update and our interview with some of the ladies competing this Sunday.”

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature.

There was an icy silence on the flight home from Spain after the filming of Episode 5. Caprice decided to stay on in Spain for a few more days but Becky Vardy and a couple of her children were on the flight as well. After Becky and Caprice had been gunged in slurry and bull semen they hadn’t uttered a word to any of the production crew. It began to dawn on some of them that Caprice may actually dislike being gunged and Becky certainly did so. The atmosphere was only lightened when Becky’s youngest emptied his baby food over her head. Becky screamed out loud as everyone laughed their heads off.

The production meeting was held a couple of days later and just as the meeting was about to begin Caprice burst in wearing a cropped hoodie and cheer white leggings.

“I hope you haven’t started without me” she snapped. “I hope you don’t fart in those leggings” Lauren from the show band Four of Diamonds replied. “Okay let’s do it, my opening monologue, song from the girls, my gardening sketch with Kelly Brook, then the girls sketch with Francesca Cumani and Kelly which I in no way want to be involved with as I’ll be mediating then. We”ll have the break no longer than 3 minutes 43 seconds as they once said on that Tiswas/OTT revival. I’ll do call thing to my PA, I’ll do a version of the Sugar Plum Fairy with Darcy Bussell. We’ll sex it up and have some fun and for the series finale I’ll perform Cell Block Tango from Chicago with Amanda Holden and the girls. I want to make this the most spectacular thing we have done this series, spare no expense. I want it to be all about me plus showcase Amanda. Make it sexy and funny. I repeat sexy and funny and no fishes. Don’t forget we have 40 minutes this week. Let’s make it count” she blurted out before leaving the meeting and going outside to meditate.

“She had seemed down after Spain but she appears to be back on top form, referencing Totty and saying she wants it to be sexy and fun” the Producer said looking out of the window to see Caprice meditating. “She is so clearly up for total annihilation” Yasmin from the band suggested. “Maybe we just get her messy whilst she is meditating. She is clearly indicating that” Caroline from Four of Diamonds suggested. “Yes lets do it with Kelly and Cesca after our sketch. She has given us that time but wants something back in return and we’ll give it to her” Sophia from the group concluded. “The writers have come up with a fun gardening sketch which Kelly is up to do” the Producer said.

“Darcy has a great twist on the Sugar Plum Fairy and the finale with Cesca, Darcy, Kelly plus Amanda and Caprice of course will be spectacular” he continued. “We’ll sort out the finale gunging. I’ve got Maisie Smith’s number she’ll send us some left over stuff from Totty. Cesca will certainly want it to beat the horse spunk. But with no fishes allowed we’ll have to think outside the box” Sophia suggested as the meeting concluded.

After mediating Caprice phoned her PA. “Darling, I finally have the show I want. No mention of getting messy. Nice gardening sketch with Kelly. Keeping Cesca away from me. A serious and sultry number with Darcy and then the finale with Amanda and the band. Have you ironed the papers featuring my photos” she said before hanging up and posing for her personal Paparazzi.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are NOT based on any real people, any similarity is coincidental.  In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. 

The day before the Ebor Festival was due to begin at York Racecourse, the two presenters

were back on the Knavesmire. They walked, smiling broadly, across a grassy lawn. On a hoarding behind them stood a hoarding on which an updated logo for the show had been placed. This featured a top-down view of a key lime pie with photos of two past winners of the Juddmonte International in alternating corners. As they had been previously, Katie wore her black trousers and grey jacket combination while Francesca was clad in the same yellow dress. The camera did a tracking view of them both from head-to-toe and back up again.

The dark-haired Irishwoman grinned, closing a button on her jacket against a sudden gust of wind. “Hello!” she called. “Welcome to the Knavesmire, ladies and gentlemen. This is Day One of York’s Ebor Festival. The feature race today is, as ever, the Group One Juddmonte International over a mile and a quarter.”

Her lighter-haired Italian-English colleague smiled while trying to hold down the skirts of her dress before the wind dropped as suddenly as it rose. “Yes, this race has seen some amazing performances over the years. This has been won by some amazing horse in recent years with Sea The Stars winning the 2009 renewal and Frankel winning in 2012.”

Katie shrugged. “Last year the race was won by the Aidan O’Brien-trained, Ryan Moore-ridden Japan,” she interjected. “Aidan has sent over his star filly Magical in a bid to win this race for the seventh time. Now, we’ve given our viewers the opportunity to get involved. Fourteen of them nominated a celebrity who was then assigned a horse from the fourteen entries. However, after only six were declared, the celebrity entries were doubled-up. This left two celebrities who were then assigned at random. Let’s see what the entries look like.”

A large screen came to life showing the six runners, their riders, trainers and owners and also the celebrities whose fates were reliant on their performance. Katie’s and Francesca’s eyes swept over the on-screen information.

“As you can see,” began Katie. “‘Aspetar’ is running for Bianca Westwood and Jessica Nigri, ‘Ghaiyyath’ for Camilla Cabello and Jacqueline Jossa and ‘Lord North’ for Madison Beer, Sally Bundock and Paige Spiranac.”

“Wondering how ‘Magical’ will run are Melanie Scrofano and Nicola Currie,” continued Francesca. “While ‘Kameko’, the only three-year-old horse in the race, carries the hopes (or would that be fears?) of Lucy Verasamy, Michelle Keegan and Charlotte Hawkins. Rounding out the field is ‘Rose Of Kildare’ for Tess Daly and Georgie Barrat.”

Katie had just been handed a note. “Oh,  dear,” she sighed. “I’ve just been informed that number one, Aspetar is a non-runner. So, on top of our winners’ prizes and the forfeits for the last three home, we also have a special messy surprise for the celebrity representatives of the non-runner.”

“What happens is dependent on what the events of the race at three-fifteen this afternoon will be,” said Francesca.

Katie grinned. “So, join us later when we find out the result of that contest and also the result of the winning margin prediction contest.”

“We’ll leave you with a look at the entries for Game Two,” cut in Katie. “We’ll be back for an introduction to Game Three once we have the list of declarations for the Ebor Handicap. But, until then…”

“Goodbye!” both presenters said cheerfully. They walked out of shot as a split-screen view showed off the thoughts of those who had entered the second game.

Author’s note: here it is finally. Good luck to everyone who has entered either Game One and/or Game Two. I’m still waiting on a list of declared runners for the Ebor Handicap, I’ll write the preview show for Game Three as soon as that is released.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature.

The usual champions league theme tune cranks up and fills the studio, as the show begins to air for its fourth and penultimate episode. As the music dies down, the camera pans to two well dressed and seated women who for some reason, don’t look very pleased at all.

Hayley: “My name is Hayley McQueen…”

Kirsty: “…and my name is Kirsty Gallacher. Welcome to another edition of the Gunge-Tastic Champions League Show, live from the TV studios in downtown Lisbon.”

Hayley: “No doubt, most viewers will have heard about a very unfortunate experience for both Kirsty and myself, which seems to be featured on every news bulletin, both in Portugal and at home in the UK”

Both hosts gaze sternly into the watching studio audience and their eyes settle on a row of five people.

Kirsty: “Yes, some very naughty university students played a bit of a trick on us whilst they took us both out for some after-show drinks…”

The large TV monitor behind the hosts flashes up a digital copy of the local newspaper’s front page.

Hayley shouts to someone in the wings of the studio “Hey! Do we have to show that on the big screen?”

Kirsty puts her head in her hands as she relives the muddy experience.

The audience chortled with laughter, and in particular, the five male university students had beaming smiles like Cheshire cats. One shouted out “Serves you both right, for what you and the Chega Mais girls did to us on their show last week!”

Hayley glances at her co-host and whispers “You know I still partly blame you for what happened to us!”

Kirsty: “What do you mean?”

Hayley: “If you hadn’t asked me to come along for drinks as well, then I wouldn’t be seeing muddy and naked photos of me plastered over the front pages!”

Semi-Final Results

Kirsty sighed and shook her head, and then received a prompt from the producer to carry on with the show. She shuffled her papers, cleared her throat, and composed herself before looking directly into the camera “Ok then, I thinks that’s more than enough talk about our nightclub antics. Instead, let’s tell you about the two semi-final Champions League matches that have been played…”

Hayley: “In the first match, PSG overwhelmed their less illustrious opponents RB Leipzig by 3 goals to nil.  Whilst in the second match, Bayern Munich continued their free-scoring form by beating Lyon by the same scoreline.”

Kirsty: “That leaves us a mouth-watering final between French champions PSG and German giants Bayern Munich, to be played on Sunday evening”

Spot Prize

Hayley: “We’ll update the quiz scores shortly and see who is in pole position to receive the overall winners prize. But before we do that, we need to award our second spot prize. This is for the lady that has the closest guess to the time of the first goal scored in the PSG v RB Leipzig match.”

Kirsty: “We can confirm that the first goal was scored in the 13th minute, which means the lucky lady is……. perhaps the most gunged sports news reporter of all time, it’s Natalie Sawyer!”

The audience roars with approval.

Hayley: “Unfortunately, Natalie can’t be with us tonight, but I believe we can go direct to the sports news studios in England where Natalie is currently presenting.”

Up on the big screen is a picture of a seated Natalie, seemingly oblivious to what is happening in Lisbon, as she continues to read the autocue about the latest football transfers.

Interrupting her in mid-sentence, Kirsty calls out “Hello there Natalie. Can you hear me? It’s Kirsty here, all the way from Portugal. How are you doing?”

A little startled, the buxom brunette replies “I’m ok thank you. This is a big surprise, why are you calling me, whilst I am live on air?”

The veteran gungee is wearing a tight black top, black leather skirt, and black high heel shoes.

Hayley: “Hi Natalie, it’s Hayley here as well..”

Natalie: “Oh hi Hayley, nice to hear from you as well….”

It suddenly clicked why she is receiving a call from the duo, and a wet grin appeared across her face “Oh no! You’re both presenting that silly Champions League show aren’t you! Don’t tell me I’ve won a ‘prize’ in that darned quiz of yours!”

Kirsty: “You’ve got it in one Natalie! The viewer that nominated you guessed the exact time of the first goal scored in the PSG v RB Leipzig match, so you (ahem) win the spot prize”

Natalie could only shake her head and smile at the situation she was facing “This is completely insane that I am on one of these shows yet again. I guess I should take it as a compliment that I get being put up for these, but I suppose I’m going to have another dry cleaning bill to add to my expenses claim this month”

Looking around the studio where she is, Natalie queries “Ok, so what I am going to get? I can’t see anyone milling around with a bucket or a custard pie…..?”

At that moment a gush of thick white cream descends from above and splashes over the surprised brunette. The cream quickly coats her hair and soaks into her tight top, with generous amount of cream finding its way inside her low-cut top to give her tits a generous covering.

Natalie smiles as she wipes the stuff from her eyes “Whoever put that vat of cream above me has done a very good job! I didn’t notice it at all!”

Hayley: “Hope you enjoyed your prize Natalie and as your presenting shift doesn’t finish for another half an hour, you get to continue presenting as you are!”

A sarcastic Natalie rolled her eyes “Gee Hayley, thanks a lot!”

The TV monitor showing the creamed 40 year old goes dark, and the camera pans back to a smiling Kirsty.

Quiz Update

Kirsty: “It never gets tired does it! Haha! Now, moving on to the quiz and in our last episode, we had scored 5 of the 8 questions. We can now score 2 more of those questions….”

Hayley: “The first of those is the time of the first goal scored in the PSG v RB Leipzig match and 10 points are awarded to any guess that is at most 10 minutes away from the actual time. There were a total of nine guesses that met that specific criteria and each of those ladies receives 10 points!”

Kirsty: “The second question to be scored is whether all of the semi-finalists will score (excluding extra time and penalties). The fact that neither RB Leipzig or Lyon didn’t manage to score in their respective semi final matches means that the correct answer was ‘NO’ which was successfully predicted by 13 viewers, and their respective ladies get 10 points each. In addition, the eighth question asked what country the winners would come from. As all sides from England and Spain have already been knocked out, we have marked those particular guesses with 0 points.”

Hayley: “We have put all those scores into the computer, and the updated scores table is shown on the large screen behind me. This shows we have 3 ladies topping the leaderboard with 40 points each – Australian model Miranda Kerr, British diver Lois Toulson and our very own Natalie Sawyer”

Kirsty: “We’ll announce the overall winner in our final show, but it looks like we might have a tie-breaker situation. More about that on the final show. Back over to Hayley for some more fun with our favourite Italian sports news presenter”

Challenge Diletta

Hayley: “Time for our regular segment ‘Challenge Diletta’, who I am pleased to say joins us on the show tonight.”

Rapturous applause greets the busty blonde as she walks onto the stage, waving as she does. She is wearing a white shirt, short yellow skirt and yellow high heel shoes.

Kirsty: “Hi there Diletta. Are you enjoying the football?”

Diletta: “Yes I am. There have been some very entertaining games.”

Kirsty: “Indeed there have been. We need to see how you got on with your latest challenge, which I personally thought was very easy, so let’s watch our VT of you at the golf course yesterday.”

The ladies stepped to one side and watched as the large TV monitor started to show a skimpily attired Diletta at the first tee.  Smiling to the camera, the blonde sets herself for her first attempt at trying to hit the ball at least 200 yards. There is an electronic signboard next to her which automatically calculates the length of the tee shot, by tracking the ball by laser until it hits the ground.

With a seemingly well-practised swing, the 28 year old hits the ball into the air, and awaits to find out what yardage the signboard will show.

It flashes up ‘156 yards’. Diletta places another golf ball on the tee and gives it an almighty whack with her club. This time the electronic signboard shows ‘174 yards’ which was an improvement but still not good enough to win her challenge. Carefully placing her third and final ball, the 28 year old readjusts her feet slightly in an effort to generate a larger swing, and hits the ball as hard as she could. All eyes are on the signboard and it flashes up ‘197 yards’.

Hayley: “Unlucky Diletta, you were so close!”

The TV monitor feed ends and the camera focuses on Diletta who smiles and shrugs her shoulders as she awaits to find out what her forfeit will be.

Kirsty: “I hear that some of your fans have asked you specifically to lose thede challenges as they want to see you messy and perhaps see a little bit more of you than they normally do”

Diletta: “Yes that’s right. They are such cheeky so and so’s. Some of them are fixated on me losing and seeing what happens to me!”

Kirsty: “Can you follow me Diletta, as we have something prepared for you, that we think your fans are going to love.”

The long legged brunette walked over to an area of the studio which was in pitch darkness, with the sexy Italian following closely behind.

As Kirsty snapped her fingers, the lights in that part of the studio suddenly come on, to reveal three large dunk tanks. At the side of the tanks is a mini crane which has rope ties attached to its hook.

Hayley prompts Diletta to stand underneath the crane, before she raises her arms and uses the rope ties to secure Diletta’s hands to the crane.

Kirsty: “You can probably guess what’s going to happen, but just to be clear for everyone at home, the crane will hoist you into the air, and will dip you into each of the three dunk tanks.”

Diletta: “Err, Ok! What’s in the tanks please?”

Hayley: “Well thats also part of the forfeit. After each of the first two dunks, you need to tell us what it is you are being dunked in. If you get any of them wrong, then we’ll be using these before you go into the third and final tank!”

Diletta heard a ‘snip snip’ sound and glanced over to Hayley to see that she was menacingly holding a pair of scissors.

The mini crane jerks into life and lifts the Italian clean off the floor. With her legs comically flailing about, she is manoeuvred until she is directly over the first tank. At a slow speed, the crane lowers the blonde until her feet hit the surface of the tank. It continues until Diletta’s bottom half of her body is submerged in the tank, and then stops”

Kirsty: “What do you think it is?”

The 28 year old looked down at the orange gloopy sauce with things floating about in it,  and declared “Is it spaghetti hoops in tomato sauce?”

Kirsty: “Correct! Well done”

Instead of being raised out of the tank as Diletta was expecting, she was lowered even further, and squealed as her head went beneath the surface. After a couple of seconds the crane reversed its motion and pulled out a rather tomato sauce bedraggled sports news reporter. Her hair was no longer stylish and blonde, but hanging in clumps saturated with tomato sauce.

With no time to lose, the crane positioned the former blonde over the second tank and started to lower her. This time, there was no stopping until the Italian was submerged fully in the tank. She was abruptly pulled out, now covered in a brown slimy slop. The crane returned her to the studio floor next to Kirsty and Hayley.

Diletta: “Oooh! That was a particularly sloppy one. What was that?”

Hayley: “You need to tell us!”

Diletta: “Hmmm….It felt a bit like soup, thick soup. Was it Oxtail?”

Kirsty: “Sorry Diletta, that’s not the right answer. It was actually gravy.”

The Italian yelped as both Hayley and Kirsty got their scissors out and starting cutting through her gravy sodden shirt and skirt, leaving her in bra, knickers and high heel shoes.

Kirsty turned to Hayley “Shall we?”

Hayley nodded “We might as well. I think secretly she would like us to, as she knows how much her fans would enjoy the sight”

The scissors were used again until a ruined bra and knickers fell to the floor, exposing Diletta’s very generously sized tits and shaved muff. The Italian couldn’t help but smile as she knew that her fans would be ogling her and she very much enjoyed being centre of attention. The crane suddenly jerked back into action and raised the naked 28 year old off the floor. Diletta realises she had to keep her legs locked together, otherwise she would be showing a little bit more to her fans than she would have liked. Once over the third and final tank, the crane dropped Diletta slowly and stopped when her high heel shoes we’re inches above the surface of the tank.

Hayley turned to the studio audience “Shall we?”

The huge roar from the audience instantly answered her provocative question, and Diletta sighed as the crane dipped her into the tank until she was fully submerged. As she was pulled out, her whole body was covered in a black viscous substance. Kirsty revealed that the tank was filled with thick molasses. The crane moved the gunged Diletta until her high heel shoes were back on the studio floor and Kirsty was able to release her hands from the crane’s rope ties.

As Diletta was recovering from her naked dunking, Hayley revealed the details of her next challenge “Your next challenge is pretty simple. Who do you think will win the final – PSG or Bayern? If you select the winner you win the challenge and the Chega Mais girls will receive a messy forfeit. However, if you select the loser, then you will receive a messy forfeit.

(Authors Note: You get to decide which team Diletta will choose…)

Wrap Up

Kirsty: “That’s just about it for this episode. Our final show will air after the Final, so make sure to tune in. Until then, it’s goodbye from her…”

Hayley: “…and it’s goodbye from her”

As the credits rolled, the Chega Mais girls came onto the stage, each holding a creamy custard pie. One by one, they smushed their pies over the naked and molasses coated Diletta, who was unable to prevent the 12 Brazilian cuties from giving her a good pieing.

(Authors Note: The 5 university students have hatched another plan to get Kirsty and Hayley messy after tonight’s show. But the hosts are wise to their antics now, so will they succeed with their plan or not. You decide if they will succeed – When will the first goal in the final be scored? If the majority are correct, then the university students succeed)

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature.

Antiques expert and TV presenter Natasha Raskin-Sharp had just finished filming the final episode of the current series of Bargain Hunt in Leominster Priory Church and was in her usual bubbly mood. She was an attractive mother of two in her mid 30’s. Her fashion style was described as practical but she was an impressive 5ft 8 ins tall with a slender frame. Her dark hair was in a neat long bob and she was genuinely popular with the other presenters and crew.

However Natasha wasn’t the greatest driver and had needed to pass her test in her late 20’s to get her initial TV gig on Antiques Road Trip. She had a reputation of pranging production cars either ones she was driving and ones she hit. Her husband worked on the show’s production and always had to keep his head down when this happened as Natasha denied all responsibility.

As a payback for her erratic driving they had arranged a fun surprise for her. They were just about to start the wrap party as the Producer requested Natasha to film one more scene for the beginning of that episode. She was lead to the antique Ducking Stool which was on display in the church and the Church Warden showed her how it worked. “I was wondering, could I sit on it and film the intro” she suggested. “You can sit on it but I cannot move it up and down unless you were strapped into it” he replied. “I’d be up for doing that as long as you don’t dunk me into anything” Natasha said laughing. “Okay lets set up the shot” the Producer concluded smiling as the plan had worked perfectly.

Natasha sat in the in the seat and was strapped in. The Church Warden gently moved it up and down and Natasha squealed with surprise as she went up and down on it. Her legs dangling in the air as she kept them tightly together to preserve her modesty as her dress was above her knees. She ran through her lines and they filmed it from various angles. “I think I should slip my shoes off ?” she suggested. “Great idea. do that and we’ll see what it looks like on film” the Producer said. They did this and filmed it. “The light wasn’t great. Could we wheel it outside and try it there?” the Producer asked the Church Warden. “I guess so we take it into the Square on occasions” he replied. Natasha looked down at her straps. “Do you need to let me out?” she asked.

“No it will be quicker to wheel you out in it and do the filming. The more we use the straps the worse it is for them. So we’ll leave you be” the Church Warden said. A laughing Natasha was wheeled out on the Ducking School into the Church Square. She screamed when she saw a large pool filled with water outside. “I’m not going in that” she yelled. “We wouldn’t do that to you. Don’t worry” the Producer reassured her. “The pool is there for a swimming course campaign the Parish Council are running the Church Warden” said lying. “How about we hold you above the water and just have your toes going into it?” the Producer suggested. “That would be brilliant and will be funny. The crew could shot dunk the witch” Natasha added.

The Church Warden hoisted Natasha on the stool over the pool and gently lowered her until her toes touched the water. “Auch that is cold. I hope they heat it up for the swimmers tomorrow” she replied shuddering and laughing. “I could do with a hand operating the stool as I’m not as young as I was” the Church Warden admitted. Natasha’s husband stepped forward smiling. “At least I trust you” she said smiling at him and blowing him a kiss.

Natasha filmed her opening sequence and had her toes danging into the cold water as the crew shouted “Dunk the Witch!” Just as she said “Welcome to Bargain Hunt” and the Director shouted cut. The Producer stepped forward and said “Natasha Raskin-Sharp you are charged with being a reckless driver and pranging a Production Car on a number of occasions. How do you plead ?” “No” Natasha screamed realizing she had been set up. “It was dark on one occasion” she pleaded. “Okay we will take that as mitigating circumstances. For this offence you are sentenced to two duckings” the Producer decreed. “I hate you all” Natasha screamed as the crew clapped and chanted “Dunk the Witch” “Please darling, no” she shouted to her husband who was relishing this and helped raise her as high into the air on the stool as he could.

“Justice must be served” he replied as they dropped a screaming Natasha into the icy cold water totally submerging her. She was quickly raised up gasping for air. Her dress now clinging wet to her body, her hair now plated to her face. She looked totally like a drowned rat. The stool was raised to maximum height again and to cries of “Dunk the Witch” Natasha was plunged back into the water and moved about before reemerging totally drenched. “Let me out now. I’m freezing” she pleaded. “You also let your husband take the blame once when you hit a production truck as you were trying to adjust your hair. How do you plead ?” the Producer asked.

“Bugger off” Natasha screamed. “As there was no guilty plea entered and for contempt of court I sentence you Natasha Raskin-Sharp to a further dunking and a gunging” the Producer replied. Natasha was screaming louder than ever and kicking her legs about frantically as she was raised to maximum height and immersed into the water to cries of “Dunk the Witch”. She emerged spluttering for breath and her dress clinging even tighter to her curvy body. “That is your last dunking” the Producer said. “That **** for that” Natasha yelled as the water dripped down her body. “Now your first gunging” the Producer said. “What!” Natasha screamed as the ducking stool was spun away from the pool and a self constructed gunge tank was placed over her seat.

“I think she needs to be right under the tank” her husband said. “You are so on the sofa in our room tonight” Natasha yelled. She was raised right under the tank and the Producer walked up and put his hand on a chord. “This is all the left overs from that lovely roast dinner we had today” he said pulling it. Natasha screamed louder than ever as a load of gravy, soggy mashed potatoes, peas and carrots slowly ran down her soaking wet hair, face and body. “It’s gone down my dress” she whimpered.

“Finally Natasha Raskin-Sharp. How do do you plead to the charge that you were once in such a hurry to get to the catering truck for breakfast you scrapped against it with your bumper” the Producer asked. “Guilty, please let me down. Its going in my eyes and mouth” Natasha pleaded. “Your guilty plea has been taken into consideration. You will be released from the stool after your final gunging” the Producer said. “Wow thank you, what was the penalty for not pleading guilty?” she asked sarcastically. “We’d have left you strapped into the stool for another 30 minutes” he replied. “You are so generous” she replied. “Contempt of court. She remains strapped in for another 5 minutes” the Producer replied. “No” Natasha screamed throwing a comical tantrum as the first gunge tank was removed and a second one brought on.

The Ducking Stool was raised right under the tank and the Producer walked forward. “You like crew breakfasts so much especially this” the Producer said as he pulled the chord and several catering tins worth of baked beans cascaded down over Natasha. She was squirming as they slowly ran down her face, covering her hair. Going into her dress and forming a big pool in her lap. The ducking stool was lowered to the floor and Natasha was made to sit there for 5 minutes unable to move with the mush slowly sliding down her body.

The Producer went to let her out but her husband said “The Ducking Stool needs to be cleaned”. “Good point” the Church Warden replied and whisked Natasha back up into the air and dunked her into the cold water a couple of times to clean the stool off to more joyous cries of “Dunk the Witch”. Natasha emerged shuddering,spluttering and dripping wet she was set down and her husband finally released the straps on the Ducking Stool. “You ***** ” she screamed chasing after him but laughing at the same time. Her husband ran back inside the Church as one of the crew gave Natasha a warm toweling robe to put on.

Natasha said to the Church Warden “Is there a toilet in the Church. I need to ring a few things out” she said rather embarrassed. “Don’t worry, I’ll show you where they are provided you help me push the Ducking Stool back into the Church” he replied smiling. Adding “I’ll steer” as he winked at Natasha who shrugged her shoulders and replied “Fair enough” as she helped push it back into the Church.

I’ve had Natasha in mind for a story for a while and the old Ducking Stool with a bit of a spin on it came as an idea to me today. Hope you like this more gentle one off story.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. May contain disturbing nineties flashbacks.

The end of the show approaching, Holly and the four TAtGH candidates stand at the bottom of the wooden staircase that leads up to the ride’s boarding platform. Tina and Vicky are the most pessimistic in their demeanour, following the previous score revelations, but the southerners can’t help but betray their nerves either. Even Shona, who was very cocky earlier, has turned very serious.

Holly: Here we are in what is for sure the last minute of cleanliness for two of the ladies standing with me, but just who will it be taking that Trip Around the Great House? Throughout the show the battle has raged between our northern lasses, Tina O’Brien and Vicky Pattison, and our southern belles, Shona McGarty and Sam Faiers! So far things have the northern outlook has been a bleak one, although the compass needle moved oh-so-slightly away from their disfavour at the last count. Will it have moved anywhere near enough to save them? Let’s find out!

Cheers and whoops sound from the audience as the scores flash up on the screens and the tension is released. Tina and Vicky throw back their heads and groan, while Shona jumps for joy. Sam stands by looking a bit confused.

Sam: [cautiously to Shona] So, are we getting gunged then?

Shona: [exasperated] No!! They are!

Holly: Dear me, and we tried to make the graph Essex-proof by including a splat graphic! Yes indeed, the south has triumphed, and it’s time for the northerners’ forfeit!

Shona: [waving] Enjoy your trip, luvlies! Don’t forget to send a postcard!

Vicky: [fires back] I’ll be sending you a slap at this rate, man!

Holly: Alright! Let’s not resort to violence! Southerners, make your way to the chippy, if you’d please; I think you’ll very much enjoy the spectacle. Northerners, come with me!

Tina accepts her fate with a wistful smile, but Vicky is more resistant. Holly is taking no nonsense, however, and jostles both women up the stairs.

Holly: That’s it – up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire! Ooo, Bedfordshire – another place from the south!

Vicky: This is yet another stitch-up of the north by a biassed soft-southern broadcaster!

Holly: Save it for Points of View, duck! Come on, in the car – that’s it! Ecky thump and away we go!!

With the two ladies seated inside the waltzer, Holly pulls down the lever. The lights dim and the car jolts backwards, transporting the pair along the landing, while various northern paraphernalia dangles around them.

Vicky: [pointing] I’ll get you back, Holly!

Holly: [rolls her eyes] That’s what they all say.

Holly makes her way down the staircase, while at the same time the car is lowered on its hydraulic section of track, rotating at the same time to further disorientate the occupants. Upon reaching the ground floor, it lurches forward, taking the pair down a short corridor towards a doorway with strips of coloured plastic hanging over it. Swishing through the plastic, the girls emerge into the fish and chip shop, and to a rude end to their clean states…

Holly: [voiceover] As promised, two specialities from the north – mushy peas and that quintessential northern gravy!

Caught completely unawares, Tina and Vicky shriek at the coldness and sliminess of these regional delicacies, which soak their fancy dresses and stick to their skin. Their hair is coated and they’ve each taken a faceful. Shona and Sam laugh as they look on from behind the counter, and even toss a few chips at their rivals to add insult to injury.

Not stopping, the car hurtles out of the chippy and into the outside environment. Some music that is a clear pastiche of the Coronation Street theme begins to play as the vehicle negotiates a narrow back alley.

Holly: [voiceover] It’s a little-known fact that Crinkley Bottom has a northern quarter, and you’ve just found yourselves in it! Ooh, watch how you go down that narrow passage, ladies, and whatever you do, don’t barge the bins! The residents really don’t like it if you− ahh, too late!

When the girls’ messy mauling at the hands of Blobby and Co comes to an end, the car re-enters the Great House and they find themselves rejoining the Trip’s conventional route. Foam gushes onto them as they pass under the main landing, along with other miscellaneous slop.

Blanketed and waist-deep in foam, the hapless northerners whizz round the final corner (time is pressing and the credits are already scrolling across the screen). They reappear in the fireplace, to a raucous reception from both the audience and their spotless southern rivals. Vicky tries to flick some foam at them, continuing to threaten revenge, though showing good humour now.

A few steps away, Holly beams at the completion of another successful show, as she breathlessly enthuses…

Holly: A well-deserved win for the sensational south! Shona and Sam, pull that lever and finish off those northern no-hopers!

The clean girls are quick to pull down the lever, and even quicker to skip clear. The siren wails and Tina and Vicky brace as two colossal, colourful downpours surge down on them, lapping over their heads and torsos.

Holly: Eee by gum, indeed! A big thank you to Shona McGarty and Sam Faiers; an even bigger one to Tina O’Brien and Vicky Pattison! Join us again next time, for more Gotchas, more grand-grabbing, and gallons more gunge! Good night!

The show mutes and fades on a zoomed-out scene while Tina and Vicky try to shake themselves off and Holly steps forward to talk to Shona and Sam.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature.

This follows on from :– https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/17/totty-episode-8-the-series-finale-part-4b-with-fallon-sherrock-becky-adlington-laura-carmichael-saffron-barker-and-louise-redknapp/

Louise Redknapp was just been about to perform her Top Five Hit Naked which was ironic as every other woman on the show was naked and messy. But all hell had broken out by the Cage. Emily Blunt was grappling with a woman in an unusual costume who had entered the Cage to try and free Rachel Burden, Sophy Ridge and Laura Kuenssberg. These three ladies were trying to keep away from the smelly Saffron Barker, Becky Adlington, Fallon Sherrock and Laura Carmichael who had recently joined them in the Cage after playing Freaky Beaks with Maisie Smith. But now the three reluctant News Presenter Gungees were making a bid for freedom.

Just then Rosamund Pike and Thandie Newton charged back onto the set and shoved everyone back into the Cage. “What the **** is going on” Amber Gill screamed as the girls tried to separate each other. The mystery woman was dragging Emily from the Cage when Maisie Smith wondered back on and stuck a bucket of Baked Beans over the mystery woman’s head. “What I am I like, I have to come back on and sort this all out” Maisie said as the woman screamed and removed the bucket from her head. The baked beans were running down her face and her lovely long black hair and onto her metallic like bodice. “It’s the Iron Lady” Maisie said but the woman threw herself at Maisie before Rosamund and Thandie pulled her off.

“You leave little Maisie alone or it will get a lot worse than it already is for you” Rosamund said. “You better not do anything to her” Rachel shouted as the woman struggled and screamed. “It’s Gal Gadot, I might have known. The woman who laughed in our faces when we asked her to film a spot with us for the show” Thandie said. “Oh she’s the woman who murdered the John Lennon song a few months back. Why is she dressed like a WWE wrestler though?” Maisie asked. “I’m Wonder Woman” Gal screamed. “What you are doing to those ladies is wrong. I was doing costume fitting for the next Justice League Film when I saw your actions and came to save them” she ranted on.

“Thank you so much” Sophy yelled from the Cage. “We’ll see just how well that costume fits as we’ll have you out of it in a minute” Rosamund suggested. “Don’t you dare” Gal screamed at her. “Hey Gal is very dark haired being Israeli, I wonder if she is dark downstairs too. Could be a late contender to take on my hairy **** in the waxing” Emily said smiling. “Only one way to find out” Thandie said as she Rosamund and Amber began to undo Gal’s costume and pull it down. She had an amazing body and was stood there in a very skimpy all in one Basque type underwear. “You’ll take that off now please be a good Gal” Rosamund said.

“I’ll never do that” Gal screamed, But Maisie walked on with a jug and emptied it down Gal’s cleavage. Gal began to scream and scratch and pulled her underwear off to reveal an impressive pair of breasts and a neatly trimmed dark bush. “Oops I drooped my Green Ants. I bought them to meet Wonder Woman” Maisie said. “That is awful” Laura K screamed. “No this is Offal and Fish Guts” Katie Thistleton said as a deluge of it crashed down on the women in the Cage.

“We forgot Gal” Amber said as Rosamund and Thandie emptied a bucket of each over a ballistic Gal with Maisie throwing another bucket of fish guts right in Gal’s face. She stood there seething and fuming as they threw her into the Cage. “I don’t want any of those Ant’s in my hairy ****” Emily said laughing at Gal who threw herself at Emily again before Becky Adlington dragged her off. Emily and Gal stood face to face. Gal squared up to her as Becky stuck her nose in Gal’s face. But Gal then got a smell of Becky and retreated away from her holding her own nose.

Louise Redknapp had wondered over. “Any chance I can perform Naked please?” she asked giggling.

“It would be our pleasure” Amber said undoing Louise’s bra as Katie pulled down Louise’s pink jogging bottoms. “I meant the song” Louise replied covering her impressive breasts with one hand as Amber threw her bra away yelling “If we take it off, it says off”and her muff with the other as she wasn’t wearing any knickers. “Let’s tickle her” Katie said as she and Amber began to tickle Louise who revealed her impressively large breasts and a newly shaved fanny. “57” Katie yelled and the threesome got the full Heinz gunging. Louise was knocked off her feet and landed hard on her curvy bum as she was engulfed in beaked beans, sauces, spaghetti and soups etc.

Katie and Amber also lost their footing under the deluge as the music started and all three rolled about giggling and tickling each other as Louise tried to sing. Maisie walked on with a hose and began to douse them all in cold Greek Yogurt as they tried to get their balance and do some sort of a routine. Amber and Katie picked up Louise and dumped her into the giant pool of custard used earlier in the night and climbed in after her. They dunked each other in the mess and fell around laughing as the song neared it’s end. “We’ve got something from all the lads who enjoyed looking at you in FHM” Maisie yelled and a big deluge of a cloudy sticky substance hit them all. Louise had just looked up and stood there with the sticky mass running down her already covered face and ruined hair.

“Please tell me that isn’t what I think it is” she screamed. “It is but it’s from an Elephant” Maisie replied laughing. “I’ve been covered in Elephant Spunk!” Louise yelled. “Yes” Maisie replied. “I hate you” Louise yelled dragging her into the custard and dunking her underneath it. “Elephant Spunk!” Louise ranted on and got another deluge just over her knocking her off her week and into the custard. She emerged gasping for air and a totally destroyed sticky mess. “You doused me again” she screamed unable to stop laughing. “He was one horny Elephant when he saw your photos” Maisie replied as Louise hugged the other three girls and they took their bows.

“Please give it up for the ever beautiful and amazing Louise Redknapp” Katie said as Maisie sneaked up and dumped a final bucket of Elephant Spunk right onto Louise’s head and lead Louise to the Cage before pushing her inside with the bucket still on her head. Louise removed the bucket and looked up at a screaming Gal who backed away from her but right into Becky. Gal screamed again and ran to Sophy, Laura K and Rachel for comfort.

“Join us after the break when we finally have Rosamund and Thandie’s Ultimate Wax off and then it’s Team Hollywood against Team Totty on the Torture Wheel Challenge” Katie said climbing out of the custard to end this part.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity.

Feeling slightly flustered, the dark-haired horseracing pundit sat in the back of a taxi as it rolled towards the television station’s York City Centre studios. The late summer sun had warmed the city’s streets high enough that most people were wearing t-shirts and shorts or, in the case of some women walking past, floaty skirts. A few minutes later, the car stopped outside her destination and she handed over the price of the taxi fare, adding on a few pounds as a tip. Straightening out her jacket she walked into the cooler interior of the studios. The receptionist pointed her to a changing room near the studio to be used for that evening’s show.

Stepping inside, she flopped down onto the couch which took up one wall of the small room and let out a groan of frustration. Trying to relax, she pulled out a trashy gossip-mongering magazine she had picked up at the airport. As she read the series of articles which always made her wonder what was true and what wasn’t, she didn’t notice the door of the room open and her co-presenter step inside.

“God, Katie!” came the shocked voice of a certain Italian-English presenter. “Why would you read that rag?!”

“It’s just something light-hearted that I picked up to pass the time, Cesca” the dark-haired woman replied. “After all, there’s only so much you can do one a Ryanair flight.”

The light brown-haired woman laughed. “That’s true!” she chuckled, pulling out another similar magazine from her handbag.

Their discussion of their choice of reading material was interrupted by a knock at the door. Teasing each other about what they had been reading on their journey to their current location, they walked to the show’s studio which was brightly lit with glaring large lights. The show’s “pie and horses” logo adorned most of the walls.

Moments after the two presenters took their places for a walk-on entrance onto the stage, the air was filled with the notes of the theme tune, played over a recording of the commentary from that day’s action at York Racecourse. They both walked into view wearing the same outfits as they had for the previous episodes, Katie in her trousers and jacket and Francesca in her yellow dress. They both smiled widely as they neared the centre of the stage. The audience cheered as the two women waved in response.

“Good evening!” called out the darker-haired woman. “Welcome to Horseracing Splatstakes at the Ebor Festival. I am Katie Walsh.”

“And I’m Francesca Cumani,” interrupted her yellow-clad colleague. “Tonight, we’ll be looking ahead to Saturday’s Ebor Handicap.”

“As well as catching up with the two ladies who were assigned to a horse who ended up being withdrawn from the Juddmonte International,” finished Katie, flashing a grin at her co-host. “But first, let’s have a look at the runners and riders for the Ebor and thus Game Three.”

“As you can see, dear viewers,” explained Francesca. “Both number two, ‘Communique’, and number nine, ‘Floating Artist’, are non-runners. This means that the reserve, number twenty-four, ‘Hochfeld’, is now able to run. This leaves a field of twenty-two runners. So, in Game Three, we are simply asking you what you think will win and who gets gunged if you’re right.”

Katie had glanced at her watch. “That’s it for Part One, I’m afraid,” she announced. “Join us in Part Two to find out what happens when Game One gets hit with a front-runner! See you then.”

“And don’t go away!” finished Francesca, as the chorus of the theme tune played.

Author’s note: you’ll find the survey for Game Three entries below. To deal with the remote possibility of there being two people with identical celebrity nominations, please, provide two nominees. I’ll take the first one written down as being your first preference in the event that neither are picked by others. Game 3 entry window will close at 15:00/3:00pm GMT tomorrow. (40 minutes before “Off Time” for the race). As ever, good luck!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment.

Please read the rules at the bottom before taking part.

A few weeks have passed since Victoria Coren Mitchell’s appearance on Holly’s House Party, which resulted in her and her partner in crime Professor Alice Roberts taking a very messy Trip Around the Great House. While her gunging was something of a mixed experience, Victoria figured it was all good publicity and would help dispel any image of her being a pompous know-it-all, showing she was prepared to look silly and have a laugh at her own expense. What she wasn’t quite prepared for was the reaction from certain corners of the internet. Receiving a flurry of over-enthusiastic comments on social media, she clicked on the users’ profiles and soon discovered the world of wet and messy, where clips of her gunging were being shared and appraised.

This also did not go unnoticed to an enterprising TV producer, who saw a way to combine Victoria’s reputation as a quiztress with her new-found gunge idol status. He pitched the idea to Victoria, who agreed to take part in a pilot, because the money was good, she told herself, though deep down she was intrigued at delving deeper into this murky WAM world…

Whatever her motivation, Victoria presently finds herself seated behind a desk in a TV studio, as the camera moves into position and a director calls “Action!”

VCM: Hello there! I’m Victoria Coren Mitchell – once again clean, on your screen!

Victoria gestures herself proudly. Then, smile fading, she makes a play of screwing her finger in her ear.

VCM: Well, more or less clean. Ho hum, I’m not the first person to get plastered at a house party. Anyway, tonight it’s seventeen other celebrities who stand to get messy for the viewing pleasure of all you in the, ahem, WAM community. But only if you can crack the clues! Take a look over here…

Victoria gestures to her side to where a large screen is mounted on the wall. The screen is divided into a grid:

[Click to expand]

1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16

VCM: Behind each of these boxes sits a celebrity – not literally; that would compact them into unseemly proportions; but digitally – and on each box is a pictorial clue to that celeb’s identity. To play the game, simply log into our website and enter your guess as to who the celeb is, and while you’re at it, nominate a messy substance from tonight’s menu…

Victoria gestures to her other side where a giant menu is affixed to the wall:

Baked beans
Blue goo
Chocolate sauce
Custard
Eggs
Green slime
Molasses
Mushy peas
Nasty brown stew
Pie sandwich
Pizza sauce
Purple gunk
Semolina
Strawberry sauce
Wallpaper paste
Yoghurt

VCM: Note that each substance can only be nominated once, and the first answer we receive shall be the final answer we accept. Nail the celeb’s identity and we will be only too pleased to nail them with your selected slop! But beware – get it wrong and that celebrity will get to stay clean and smug! So how confident do you feel?
    Also, upon the correct completion of the first horizontal row, the first vertical column, and the first diagonal of four – allowing for wraparound – there’ll be bonus mess for the celebs concerned! But Victoria, wait! There are sixteen boxes on that grid, but I’m sure I heard you say seventeen celebs! Well yes indeed, there is a seventeenth celeb who could be getting the messiest of all! And no, it’s not me [wags a finger]; I’ve had that written very clearly into my contract. But that will be explained as the game gets underway. For now, let’s have your guesses, and good luck!

Game rules – please read carefully

− Please only attempt one square at a time. Please wait for someone else to take a turn before taking another turn.*

− As explained by Victoria, take a guess at the identity of the celeb in one of the boxes, and also choose a substance from the list (by posting in the comments below). Each substance can only be nominated once so please don’t choose one that someone’s already nominated. I’ll try to cross the substances off the list as they get picked, but I might not be able to keep up to date with this, so please check the most recent nominations.

− The first attempt at each square will be taken as the answer. If it’s wrong, the celeb gets to stay clean (and the substance is frozen out of the game). I won’t reply to say whether the answer’s right or wrong (this will be reveal as the show progresses), but either way there’s no point in attempting one that’s already been tried.

− There’s no deadline; the game will be allowed to run its natural course.

*Don’t try to use multiple user identities, because that can be detected and you’ll be shown up.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidental. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity. 

Having waited backstage during the commercial break, the two presenters walked back onto the stage. As they moved back to where they had been standing before the break, beneath a wall-hung poster of the show’s logo, the theme song’s chorus was played over the public address system. This was mixed with the audience’s applause.

Once more, Katie smiled for the camera. “Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen,” she said. “Before the break, we mentioned that we would be revealing what happens to those ladies nominated for Game One who get assigned a horse that winds up as a non-runner.”

Francesca chuckled. “Yes, we’re about to deal with that event now,” she said mirthfully. “In the Juddmonte International the two ladies assigned to number one, ‘Aspetar’, were… a Sky Sports reporter and a well-known cosplayer/glamour model.”

Katie grinned. “Please, put your hands together for Bianca Westwood and Jessica Nigri!”

A brown-haired black-and-blue bikini-clad woman appeared from behind an on-stage prop. Walking abreast of her was a platinum blonde wearing a one-piece “Stars-and-Stripes” swimsuit.

Katie put an arm across the brunette’s shoulders. “Welcome to the Ebor Week Horseracing Splatstakes, Bianca,” she said with a smile. “Ready to find out what’s coming your way?”

“Not really…” whined the brown-haired sports reporter.

Katie laughed loudly. “Well, that’s your tough luck!” she guffawed. “‘Cause I’m going to tell you anyway!”

“Oh, brilliant…” deadpanned Bianca.

“Yes, it is!”  interrupted Francesca. “Just not for you!”

Katie frowned. “Breaking up the tension there, Cesca!” she sneered at her co-presenter. “Anyway, Bianca, if you’d care to take three steps to your left, please. You’ll find your seat for the rest of this evening. By the way, it was a smart move to wear a thong tonight.”

The bikini-clad woman gave her a puzzled look. “Why???”

“Let’s just say that we have something special planned for Jessica,” came the reply. The jacket-and-trousers-clad brunette gestured towards the plastic chair. “Now, take your seat.”

Feeling unsure of herself, Bianca walked over to the plastic seat she had been pointed to and gingerly perched on it. The moment that her shapely arse touched the seat, a siren blared and she was hit by a massive stream of thick tomato ketchup poured down on her from the ceiling. The sweet red sauce splashed over the forty-eight-year-old sports reporter. She let out a shriek in surprise as her hair, shoulders and back were engulfed by the slightly sticky sauce. She was left soaked with ketchup from head-to-toe. It dripped from her face and off her lycra-encased boobs. Feeling as bedraggled as she looked Bianca stared at the floor.

Katie grinned at the camera “Well, that was gross for her,” she remarked with a sly wink as she picked up a catering-sized tin of baked beans. “Jessica, come over here.”

The blonde model walked over, eyeing the tin of beans in Katie’s hand with apprehension. When Jessica was close enough, the ex-jockey upended the tin over her large boobs. Beans and tomato sauce splashed over the curves of her chest before Katie pulled the neckline of the patriotic piece of swimwear out slightly, allowing the messy legumes to flow deep into Jessica’s swimsuit. The lycra, now stained a deep red, bulged around her waist. Jessica squirmed as the beans slopped back and forth as she moved which just made her wriggle even more.

Katie was stood a foot away from the blonde, admiring her handiwork, and was unable to notice that Francesca was now stood beside a familiar control panel. “So, what does this red button do?” asked Francesca, before pressing it down.

“Cesca! Don’t d… Glumph!” Katie’s shout was cut off by her rapid plunge into a pool of mushy peas below. Both Jessica and she plunged into the lumpy green slop and briefly disappeared from view apart from an occasional flailing arm. After a few moments, two vaguely human-shaped lumpy green blobs burst back into view.

Francesca grinned. “Well, I think Katie and I are now all-square,” she chuckled. “Now, I believe all the entries for Game Three are in, so, could we see them on-screen now?”

A screen came to life with a list of the viewers who had entered and what and who they had each picked out. “As you can see, Fujaira Prince appears to be our viewers’ favourite followed by Trueshan and Ghostwatch,” remarked Francesca. “Ha ha! Some cheeky rake has nominated me if Trueshan wins. The production crew would like to point out that if their selection wins then the next closest nominated horse will also be counted as having won. That’s all we have time for, I’m afraid. Until the results show, goodbye!” As the audience applauded, the lights began to dim and the theme tune played.

Author’s note: I haven’t seen the result yet, however I will make a few additional rules for Game Three. If the race is won by a horse not selected by anyone who entered Game Three, I’ll take the entry that had the best finishing place as the game’s winner. As Francesca said above, if my own entry finishes best then I’ll also go for the second best to let you all get in on the fun. 

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

This follows on from :- https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/21/totty-episode-8-the-series-finale-episode-5a-with-the-mystery-woman-revealed-and-louise-redknapp/

All women are naked and messy unless stated.

“Welcome back to Part 6 of the series finale of Totty” Maisie Smith said smirking. “It is now time for the most politically incorrect thing we have done in the last 5 minutes. Please welcome back the delinquent duo themselves Rosamund Pike and Thandie Newton” Katie Thistleton added.

Rosamund and Katie bounded back onto the stage giggling. “Thanks girls, this is what you have been waiting for. Something we did on the Tiswas/OTT Revival and we just had to do again. No it’s not the Duchess of Cambridge naked being covered in animal spunk and shit . Hope you still don’t smell too much Kate” Rosamund said grinning. “It is The Ultimate Extreme Wax Off where we will be joined by the owners of the hairiest muffs we have seen this series and we will wax them in typical Totty style” Thandie added.

“Our contestants are Harpz Kaur who you all saw earlier in the show, Roxy Shahidi from Emmerdale, Julia Goulding from Coronation Street, Rising Comedy Star London Hughes, DJ and TV Presenter Maya Jama and Emily Blunt with her hairy smelly ****” Rosamund explained. “Anyway let us show you are waxing convener belt” Thandie said as she walked across the stage and showed everyone a conveyor belt with straps on which passed through a clear tunnel with several large pipes overhead before reaching an area labeled Waxing Zone.

“We need someone to demonstrate how it will work” Rosamund said walking over to the Cage and opening the door. She nodded to Becky Adlington and Saffron Barker who pushed a screaming Laura Kuenssberg forward. Rosamund grabbed Laura and slammed the door shut. Thandie ran over and they pulled the struggling Laura towards the conveyor belt. Laura was screaming the studio down as Amber Gill walked on with a bucket and set it down.

She helped lift Laura onto the Conveyor Belt and strap her down feet first. “You’ve been in some sticky situations but never like this. Your BBC colleagues have said if we give you this. They will donate £10k to Children in Need” Amber said laughing. “No, you wouldn’t dare” Laura screamed as Rosamund looked inside the bucket and stuck her finger in and placed a sticky blob on Laura’s nose and then another in her belly button. “No, please” Laura whimpered as Amber emptied the sticky substance from head to toe onto Laura who was spluttering and nearly crying.

“Some good old bull spunk there” Amber said as Laura was screaming and wailing. Rosamund started the Conveyor Belt up and Laura went slowly into the tunnel before toffee started to ooze out of the pipes onto her. Laura took a full minute to pass through the tunnel before Thandie put the Conveyor Belt into reverse and Laura from her head to hips went back into the tunnel for a second coating.

Laura totally covered in brown sticky toffee reached Rosamund and Thandie. Rosamund placed a large waxing strip on Laura’s muff and pressed it down before Thandie ripped it off. Laura screamed as a load of cold yogurt crashed onto her fanny and suddenly she was shot forward as her straps were automatically released into a hidden pool of black treacle. Laura emerged looking like the Creature from the Black Lagoon as Rosamund and Thandie pulled her out of the pool and Amber escorted her back to the Cage.

Thandie pinned the waxed strip to a whiteboard behind the ladies as the camera zoomed in on the removed clump of hair.

“Please welcome Harpz Kaur” Thandie said as Harpz walked back on laughing. “What have I let myself in for?” she said as she climbed up onto the Conveyor Belt and was strapped down. “Okay I’m ready” she yelled as Thandie started the Belt up. Harpz went into the tunnel and got covered in brown sticky toffee before she emerged the other side. She managed to whisper something to Rosamund who picked up the waxing strip and stuck it onto Harpz’s muff. Thandie joined Rosamund getting hold of it as suddenly Harpz shot forward as her straps were automatically released and she shot forward into the treacle letting out a blood curdling scream.

Rosamund and Thandie were thrown forward and got covered in the cold yogurt. Harpz emerged from the treacle wiping her eyes and a total black sticky mess yelling “Harpz Kaur Hardcore!” as Rosamund held up the waxing strip with a huge amount of hair removed. “That made my eyes ****** water” Harpz added as she walked off gingerly.

“Please welcome Roxy Shadidi” Thandie said as Roxy walked on in a sports bra and workout leggings and stood on her head in an impressive Yoga pose.

“I could stay like this for hours” Roxy said. “You reckon?” Thandie said. “I’d stake my clothes on it” Roxy replied giggling as Rosamund walked on with a hose and began to douse Roxy with cold strawberry yogurt. Roxy stayed in her pose for about 10 seconds but then fell over put pulled Thandie in with her as Rosamund covered them both in yogurt as they rolled around on the floor. Rosamund turned the hose off and Roxy stood up a shuddering red mess. Her perfect bob cut destroyed as she wiped her eyes clear. “Fair enough I lost” she said giggling as she removed her sports bra and leggings to reveal her pert breasts and a hairy yogurt covered muff.

She climbed onto the Conveyor Belt and was strapped in. Rosamund started it up and Roxy slowly went into the tunnel to get covered in toffee. Up to her boobs had come out when the Conveyor Belt stopped and Roxy’s head continued to get covered in toffee. “What’s going on” she spluttered as she got even more covered. “Put it in reverse and then forward” Thandie suggested. Roxy went nearly all the way back in still getting covered with toffee before Rosamund put it into forward again and Roxy inched out totally covered in toffee.

Thandie placed the waxing strip on Roxy’s muff and with Rosamund yanked it off as Roxy screamed and got a deluge of cold yogurt on her fanny before being released and shooting forward into the treacle pool. Roxy slowly emerged a black sticky blob and fell out of the pool onto the studio floor. “Bet your yoga chanting didn’t make that smart any less” Thandie said as Rosamund held the strip up displaying an impressive removal of hair and stuck it on the whiteboard. Roxy slowly walked off with her legs wide apart as Rosamund the theme to The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.


“Okay next we have Julia Goulding” Rosamund said as Julia walked on in Denim shorts and an Orange vest top. The same she had worn when she was on Totty before.

“Hiya Julia, I was hoping you’d have walked on topless with a fag in your mouth like a real Northern Bird” Thandie said as she hugged Julia. “I can do that” Julia replied laughing removing her top to reveal a pair of large breasts and pulling a vape out of her pocket and taking a drag on it as the audience cheered. “Great pair” Rosamund said. “One of the plus points of being a newish mum” Julia replied squirting Thandie with lactating milk. Suddenly Maisie walked back on with an actual cigarette lit and taking a drag. An alarm went off and a fake Dalek appeared going “Eliminate” and expelled a load of water onto Maisie who ran off laughing.

The Dalek stopped by Julia and said “Lubricate, Lubricate” and his plunger went up and down in excitement. “He likes you” Thandie said. “He wants you to lubricate him” she added. “You’ll need to get inside him” Rosamund said. “You’ll need to be naked too” she added. Julia giggling undid her shorts and dropped them as she bent over. The Dalek got very excited and put his plunger up her bum and squirted her with gunge going “Procreate, Procreate”. “I’ve already got one son” Julia replied crying with laughter as she turned around to reveal a hairy muff.

The Dalek opened up and Julia climbed inside and the Dalek closed and started saying ” Lubricate, Lubricate” with steam coming from his plunger as Julia screamed from within it. The Dalek spun around and looked at the Cage and yelled “Becky Adlington is with who I mate, Becky Adlington is with who I mate”. The Dalek shot towards the Cage with his plunger going up and down in excitement. “Ejaculate, Ejaculate” he said louder and louder as he approached Becky. “You bastards” Becky yelled pushing her nose through the cage as the Dalek’s plunger reached out for her nose. “Overload, Overload” the Dalek went before it let out a huge bang and fell to bits. Julia emerged covered in a thick green sticky substance from head to toe.

“Becky Adlington you Dalek Killer” Rosamund shouted as Becky stood there crying with laughter. “Daleks ejaculate inwards” Thandie said as Julia slowly rejoined them. “What is this?” she asked looking at the green gloop she was covered in. “This and that” Thandie replied. “I wasn’t expecting that” Julia admitted as she climbed onto the Conveyor Belt and was strapped down. Thandie started it up and Julia went slowly into the tunnel and when she was fully inside the belt stopped. “That Dalek went with a smile on his plunger” Rosamund said as she made small talk for a bit whilst Julia was covered in sticky brown toffee. “Julia!” Thandie shouted restarting the belt as Julia finally emerged totally covered with several extra layers.

Thandie stuck the waxing strip on and she and Rosamund took hold and without warning Julia was shot forward as her straps released into the treacle pool. Letting out the loudest scream of the night she went with such force that Rosamund was propelled face first into the treacle too as the yogurt doused Thandie. Somehow Rosamund held the waxing strip above the treacle as Julia in a slight daze sat up and tried to get her bearings. “That was ****** epic” she said as she stood up wincing and totally covered in black treacle. She slowly got out of the pool as Rosamund held up the waxing strip to reveal the biggest hair removal so far.

“Julia you are in the lead” Thandie said as Rosamund stuck the waxing strip on the whiteboard and Julia tenderly walked off to huge applause.

“Please welcome the sexy and sassy London Hughes” Rosamund said as London walked on in a skimpy strapless bikini that barely kept her curvy assets in check.

“No wig or weave today then London?” Thandie asked. “You’ll see in a minute” London replied looking down at her crotch area. “That is a deep belly button you’ve got there London” Rosamund said tickling London’s navel. “Yes it took me an age to get the Ostrich Spunk out of it last time” London replied laughing. “You played the bouncy castle game didn’t you?” Rosamund asked “Yes I got covered in Macaroni Cheese Sauce, Vomit Fruit, Flour and Blue Gunge before ending up naked with Ostrich Spunk all over me” London replied. “Like this” Thandie said getting a bucket of Blue Gunge and dumping it on London’s head. London slowly removed the bucket as the blue mush ran down her curvy ebony body. Thandie pulled London’s bikini top off to expose her big bouncy pendulous breasts.

Rosamund emptied a sack of flour over London’s head to make her a gooey sticky mess as London coughed in the white cloud of flour dust. Suddenly Thandie pushed London back into a bath full of Macaroni Cheese Sauce and Rosamund got hold of London’s legs and pulled her backwards and forwards under and out of the sauce. Before they turned the bath over and London and white yellow mush rolled onto the floor. As London floundered around Rosamund threw a bucket of pureed vomit fruit right into London’s face.

London was heaving and slipping around so Thandie went to help her up but London pulled her back down and they rolled about in the mush before Rosamund threw a bucket of Ostrich eggs over them both. Slowly they came to their senses and looked at each other laughing. “You were extreme to me Sister” London said as Thandie helped her up then pulled down London’s briefs to reveal her big afro bush. “It was Ostrich Spunk not Ostrich Eggs” London said to Rosamund as she climbed onto the Conveyor Belt wiggling her big curvy bum cheeks to the camera as she did so.

She was strapped down and Rosamund returned with another bucket. “We never forgot on Totty, lets fill that Belly Button” she said as she slowly emptied a bucket of thick sticky cloudy Ostrich Semen up London’s body filling her belly button, covering her breasts and giving her a full facial and head coverage. “Bitches” London screamed as she splat out a mouthful of the sticky mush. Thandie started the Convener Belt and London slowly went into the tunnel and got covered in Sticky Brown Toffee before finally emerging the other side spluttering and totally covered.

Both ladies pushed the waxing paper onto London’s crotch and ripped it off as London screamed “****!” before the cold yogurt cascaded onto her smarting crotch and she was shot forward as her straps were released into the pool of black treacle. London lay in the pool in shock and slowly sat up but didn’t move. Thandie walked over to see if she was alright but London pulled her headfirst into the treacle and dunked her under it several times as revenge.

London stood up a black sticky mess and threw Thandie out of the pool before getting out herself and doing a sassy walk off to huge cheers. Rosamund held up the waxing strip which had removed a large amount of Afro hair and pinned it to the whiteboard. “We’ve got to get London back on, she was amazing” Rosamund said. “You think so” Thandie replied staggering to her feet a totally destroyed mess under the black treacle.

“Anyway lets welcome our penultimate contestant the sexy Swedish and Somali cocktail that is Maya Jama” Rosamund said as Maya walked on in a sexy peachy pink thong bikini to huge cheers and whistles…

“Is that peachy?” Thandie said looking at Maya. “No she has just got a big fat arse” Rosamund replied turning Maya around and giving her a hard slap on her left bum cheek. “You really are a cruel duo” Maya replied showing the big hand mark on her bum. “Anyway Maya tell us what we all want to know. How long is Stormzy’s ****?” Thandie asked as Maya shrieked in shock. “Satisfying” she replied unable to stop giggling. “Okay Maya what did you think of Freaky Beaks?” Rosamund asked. “It was something I don’t think I’d take part in” Maya replied. “Are you sure?” Thandie asked as she pushed Maya backwards into the bath of blue paint and gunge used in that game.

Maya emerged gasping her air and totally covered in blue gunk. “I think that yellow goes well with blue don’t you?” Rosamund said as they dragged Maya to the pool of custard pulling bikini top off and her bottoms down to reveal her large dusky breasts and her hairy afro muff before they threw her headfirst into the custard. Maya emerged from under the custard and fell out of the pool as Rosamund and Thandie lead her to the Conveyor Belt. They strapped her down and started it up.

Maya went into the tunnel and got a complete covering of brown sticky toffee before slowly emerging the other side. Rosamund applied the waxing strip and she and Thandie braced themselves as Maya shouted “No!”. But she was shot forward as her straps released and she went shooting into the treacle as there was a loud ripping sound as the yogurt crashed down onto Rosamund and Thandie as they held onto the waxing strip. “******* hell, that smarts” Maya gasped as she slowly emerged from the black treacle totally covered and walked with splayed legs.

“Best to walk like that if those big thighs rub together you could start a fire” Rosamund said. “Did you walk like that after you and Stormzy shagged?” Thandie asked. “**** off” Maya yelled laughing as she slowly walked off to huge cheers.

“Okay lets welcome the lady who inspired this game Emily Blunt with her hairy ****” Rosamund said as she walked over to the Cage and let Emily out to join them. “These bitches stuck a note “Emily Blunt has a Hairy ****” on my back at the Golden Globes a couple of years back and I didn’t find it until Meryl Streep pointed it out to me and asked if it was true” Emily said laughing. “Yes Emily joined us on location and demanded to be in the series finale so we are doing this game in her honour. Although she won’t win it as we only waxed her a few weeks back” Thandie said.

“We could make it grow quickly lets take her to Compost Corner” Rosamund said as the audience yelled back Compost Corner. They stood a giggling Emily in a buck and Thandie said the “Bluntus Clitoris is a very bushy plant it thrives on a mixture of mud, water, soil and manure”. A load of black smelly muddy gunk crashed down onto Emily, knocking her over in her bucket. Rosamund and Thandie rolled a screaming Emily around in the gunk putting big handfuls into a lot of intimate spaces.

“The only creature that might have a hairier **** than Emily is a Gorilla so we got this from our friends at London Zoo” Rosamund said as a load of sticky dark smelly gunk crashed Emily. “The male Gorilla was very pleased with himself afterwards and did a big one to celebrate” Thandie said as Emily stood there gagging. “Is that all you’ve got. Poppins is hardcore” Emily yelled back spluttering as a second larger load of the same mixture crashed down on her knocking her face first into it. Rosamund and Thandie rolled her about in it before finally pulling her out of the bucket and strapping her onto the Conveyor Belt. “That really stinks” Rosamund said. “Tell me about it” Emily replied. “Well it is your fanny” Thandie replied.

They started the Conveyor Belt up and Emily went slowly into the tunnel emerging the other side covered in toffee before Thandie put it into reverse and Emily went back into the tunnel and they stood there waving at her as she had a couple of extra layers. She finally reemerged and they applied the waxing strip and yanked it off with Emily unflinching. However a load of vinegar not yogurt crashed down onto her crotch and Emily yelled “*****” as she was shot forward being released from the straps and into the treacle pool. Rosamund ran over and overturned the pool with Emily in it as the audience laughed.

Emily slowly crawled out from under the pool totally covered and destroyed she slowly wiped her eyes clear of the treacle as Rosamund and Thandie held up the waxing strip displaying an impressive amount of hair. “You couldn’t even win your own game” Thandie shouting waving the strip in Emily’s direction. Emily slowly walked off head down. “She is walking off with her baggy **** dragging on the floor in shame” Rosamund shouted.

Emily walked back on holding a hose “You forgot how hardcore I am” she said smiling. “Okay that’s just the recycled gunge for the Torture Wheel challenge” Rosamund said as she pinned Emily’s wax strip on the Whiteboard. “Is it?” Emily said as she turned on the hose and doused Rosamund and Thandie with a foul smelling black slurry. “Courtesy of a milk farmer I know” she said as she hosed down a screaming Rosamund and Thandie who fell over flailing about in the smelly mess.

Emily hosed them down for about 30 seconds before finally turning it off as a gasping Rosamund and Thandie finally got to their feet. “Now we all smell as bad as each other” Emily said as she looked at the whiteboard. “Lets welcome back Harpz, Roxy, Julia, London and Maya” Rosamund said. The other ladies slowly walked back on and they all looked at the board. “I think it is between Julia and London?” Rosamund said. “Let’s have joint winners” Thandie replied. “What do we win?” Julia asked. “Use of my hose” Emily said handing it to London and Julia who predictably turned it onto the other girls dousing them as they tried to stay on their feet.

Harpz, Roxy and Maya screamed as they were covered in the smelly effluent as Rosamund, Thandie and Emily pushed them forward. Somehow Rosamund managed to sneak under the jet of muck and grab the hose off London and Julia turning it on them at close range knocking both over. She then ran with it to the cage and unleashed it on the screaming girls who pushed Laura Kuenssberg, Rachel Burden, Gal Godot and Sophy Ridge to the front of the onslaught

Amber and Katie pushed Amy-Leigh Hickman and Sarah Keith-Lucas into the Cage too but Maisie closed the door on them all laughing. Rosamund doused them all down before finally switching off the hose and handing it to Maisie. “Join us for the final part as Team Totty go against Team Hollywood in the Totty Torture Wheel Challenge” Maisie said. “I wonder what this does? she concluded as she turned on the hose and got a blast right in her face but somehow held onto the hose and she fell backwards with her legs up in the air showing everything. “What Am I Like” she spluttered.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment.

VCM: Welcome back to Gunge Grid, the show where correct guesses mean celebrity messes! We have been inundated with your submissions, and we’ve got through all the boxes much quicker than I was expecting. That means the fates of the celebrities on the grid have been sealed, and it’s all a matter of playing them out, one by one – starting with the very first guess that came in, which was for number 5. Let’s take a look at that one…

Victoria turns to the screen beside her, which shows a blurred image together with the pictorial clue.

VCM: The guess for box 5 comes from ‘Anonymous’ (aren’t they all in this community?) who says “Love the idea…” Well thank you, Anonymous, you’ve got off to a good start with me. “…I’ll guess that number 5 is London Hughes, and I’ll nominate semolina.” Mmm, sounds like a real messy one straight out of the blocks, but is it correct? Remember, if Anonymous has it wrong, no semolina will be deployed, and the celeb will stay clean. Let’s take a look, shall we…?

Slowly the picture comes into focus, revealing a nervously grinning TV presenter.

VCM: Yes!! It is London Hughes! Nice straightforward clue that – London, hues. London, you’re our first celeb! How are you doing?

London: [sighs] To be perfectly honest with you, Victoria, there have been times in my life when I’ve been happier.

VCM: Times when you’ve not had a huge hopper of semolina poised over you, per chance?

London: Mmmm, yeah. Those times.

VCM: Of course, you should be used to this, London, because you were gunged a fair few times during your Scrambled days. However, you always wore a hat to protect your barnet, which I’m told is a real bugbear in the WAM community.

London: [shrugs] Can’t help that a hat was part of the costume, Victoria.

VCM: Yes, but we expressly said no headwear on this show and still you tried to smuggle a cap into the studio! But now a wrong is about to be righted. Anonymous, congratulations! You’ve sussed London and requested she be covered in semolina, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen!

Without further ado, some kind of hatch opens above London, and she is engulfed by an avalanche of milky, paste-like semolina pudding.

VCM: Oh wow! Hats off to you, London – tee hee! Gosh, the other celebrities must be worried after seeing that! Let’s take a look at the grid…

VCM: So, London’s semolina features are in their rightful place on the grid, and you’ll also notice the letter L has appeared beside them. Not L for London – that’s just coincidence – but one of the letters that goes to make up the name of tonight’s superslop celeb!

VCM: You might remember I mentioned a celebrity number seventeen. Well, for each correct guess made on the grid, a letter from her name will be revealed. Anyone can jump in at any time and guess her identity, and from the moment she’s correctly identified, whatever mess the other celebs receive, she will receive as well − oh yes, really! So, the earlier she is called out, the messier she’ll get! But… and here’s the but… one wrong guess will free her from sloptitude and she will stay completely spotless. So, I wonder, who has the balls to risk it? Presumably nobody at this stage on the basis of one letter, unless we have an expert in cleavage recognition, which wouldn’t surprise me with you lot. Anyway, that puzzle is ongoing, and in the meantime the games continues. See you soon for the next guess!

Georgie was back on stage as she welcomed the viewers back to the show, she was still wearing the same vacation outfit as she had been on the preview show.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

In the end the predictions for a somewhat dull Spanish Grand Prix played out to be correct, and this means for one thing, I am safe from the Grand Prix gunging, although I and my Spanish guests are all still in the running for the outcome of the Manchester United V Sevilla match to come later in the show.”

Georgie walked over to where a large black chair was positioned, it had some straps on the arms and legs to ensure that whoever was forced to take a seat would be secured in position and helpless to avoid the messy onslaught.

She then turned her attention to the four women who all looked somewhat nervous at the idea that one of them would soon be taking a rather unpleasant seat in the centre of the stage, however they were somewhat relieved when Georgie explained that because Mercedes failed to finish 1^st and 2^nd in the race only the highest voted for presenter would be facing the messy forfeit.

“And without further ado lets reveal the voting scores” Georgie said as she turned to look towards a giant screen which flickered into life displaying a blank pie chart that slowly began to shift around but did not initially reveal which women had what segment.

Pilar’s name was the first to come up and she sighed with relief as her percentage score read just 9%, she knew she was now safe and could relax, leaving the other women somewhat more apprehensive knowing their odds had just increased to 1/3.

The next name popped up and Berta relaxed knowing she was safe having come third.

“Well done to Berta, 3^rd place in the votes means you will avoid the mess in both the racing result and will in fact be the main presenter for the CSWL segment later on” Georgie explained to the smiling Spanish woman.

This now left just two women in the line-up with their fates unknown Christina and Anna looked across at each other nervously hoping the other would be the most popular and be taking a messy seat.

Finally, after a long pause both names appeared on the pie chart and Christina cheered whilst Anna put her head in her arms in despair, she was devastated at the result.

“Anna if you would like to join me over her” Georgie stated, somewhat pleased that the viewers had voted for Anna to get the mess, as she gestured towards the chair and after Anna’s slow walk over to it.

She secured the sexy presenter to the seat first with her wrists and then with her ankles tightly doing up the straps to ensure Anna had zero chance of getting free.

After this a couple of runners brought out two trolleys filled with buckets of slop and placed them out of view behind Anna, Georgie walked over to them and picked up the first one, looked inside pulled a disgusted looking face and then showed the camera the instantly recognisable orangey goo of baked beans.

She walked right up behind the pristine blonde woman and then slowly upturned the bucket allowing the baked beans to flow out and onto Anna’s head who screamed in surprise as the substance coated her.

As Georgie put down the bucket and went to pour another one over Anna, this time filled with custard leaving a yellow coating on top of her previously bright yellow dress. Pilar, Christina and Berta all stepped forwards and whilst initially apprehensive about pouring the mess over their colleague they soon got into their stride as they doused her with various messes including rice pudding, several soups, eggs, spaghetti.

Anna sat helplessly in her seat as the four women poured bucket after bucket of disgusting sloppy mess over her, she knew that her dress was ruined and going straight in the bin in the changing room, she was sure that she would need to got to the hairdressers to sort her hair out as well.

Unfortunately, because of the straps she could do absolutely nothing about it. And to make matter worse every time she tried to swear in Spanish towards her colleagues and Georgie, she got a mouthful of whatever bucket was being poured over her head and body, she could feel the slimy mess inside her dress, which sent a shiver running down her spine.

Made worse when someone pulled out the back of her dress and poured the contents of their bucket straight down it.

Before too long all of the buckets were now empty and all the contents lie on or around Anna in a huge mix of savoury foods, most of which Anna had never eaten before, calling it ‘horrible English food’ much to Georgie’s amusement.

“Well thank you for tuning in to the Grand Prix messing, but don’t go away because after the break we’ll be moving swiftly away from Motorsport onto Football.

As the program resumed from the break it was clear that Anna was still sat secured in her chair wallowing in the mess as Pilar had made a break after finding out she was out of the running and left the set.

This left Berta standing in between Christina and Georgie who looked less thrilled by the football part of the show, more worried about representing Manchester United than by someone else winning the Grand Prix outside of Mercedes.

“Hello, and welcome back” Berta said as she smiled towards the camera.

“As we leave Anna in her place, we must quickly move onto the great game in the Europa League.

Forfeits will be handed out for various stats, and at the moment none of us know the outcome of the game, so let’s check it out!”

The screen that had previously shown the pie chart flicked over to a new display which now showed the score, Sevilla 2 Manchester United 1.

“Shit” Georgie could be heard saying out loud whereas in contrast Christina celebrated believing she was going to be escaping the mess for the second time that night.

“Congratulations to Sevilla, can they make it 6 wins in the competition?

I have a feeling they might just do that” Berta stated before continuing on.

“I’m led to believe that although Sevilla won the match that doesn’t mean Christina will avoid any forfeits” she turned to look at Georgie who nodded in agreement, being more familiar with the CSWL series having watched several episodes at home with her partner.

At this news Christina’s face dropped before she exclaimed “Wait you mean I’m going to get messy despite winning?” much to Berta and Georgie’s amusement.

Berta resumed speaking and suggested they start with the winner’s forfeits, so that Christina could get them out of the way.

“fortunately for you judging from the stats, it looks like you won’t be getting too messy Christina, however 2 yellow cards mean it is 2 custard cream pies for you”

As Christina stood in the middle of the stage Berta approached her carefully pressed the first pie into the dark-haired woman’s face, as she rubbed it around to ensure the custard and cream was fully transferred from the paper plate onto the presenter’s face.

After this she lifted the second one up and plopped it down onto the top of Christina crowning her in cream and custard which trickled down from the top of her head and dripped onto her outfit.

“For 13 fouls conceded you have two spins of our forfeit wheel, so if you can join me over by it” Berta said as she led Christina who was leaving a custard trail along the floor.

Christina gave the wheel a large tug and stood back to watch it spin, before it finally came to rest against ‘Chocolate Syrup’. A large container was brought out and handed to Berta.

She looked inside, smiled evilly towards Christina and upended it all over the Madrileño who squealed as it slowly plopped out onto her head and chest as Berta aimed in that direction, meanwhile Anna had had her eyes and face wiped clear and was able to enjoy with some strange satisfaction as Christina spun the wheel the second time and like Anna had previously faced endured a bucket of Mushroom soup poured all over her, the lumpy mixture promoting much disgust from Christina.

“I see you didn’t enjoy that too much, but fortunately it is almost over Christina as Sevilla conceded one goal, please take a seat inside the gungetank”

Christina walked over and took her place inside, without much hesitation Berta pulled the cord next to the tank and a deluge of white gunge matching the Sevilla shirt cascaded down onto her head, Christina was at least pleased that the gunge was warm and smooth so felt much nicer compared to the mushroom soup.

By the time the gunge flow stopped Christina was completely covered in the white gunge, which had helped to wash some of the other mess off her body, nevertheless she was happy when Berta opened the door and she was able to make a quick exit and head to the showers, leaving Georgie standing alone awaiting her fate.

Berta turned to look at Georgie and said “Well you know you will face two goal forfeits, but before we get to that we need to review the other stats for the match.

Manchester United picked up 1 more yellow card than Sevilla, and so that means you get three pies.”

After this Berta picked up the first of three pies, all of which had far more custard and cream applied to the plate than the ones used on Christina, she placed the first one in front of Georgie who closed her eyes in anticipation as Berta forcefully moved the pie upwards and smashed it into the blondes face.

The second one was applied to Georgie’s breasts as Berta ensured as much custard and cream coated her light-coloured outfit, much to the English woman’s dismay. Finally, the third pie was used to smear the creamy mess all over Georgie’s bum as Berta made her bend over and stick her arse out for it.

After this it was revealed that for 17 fouls, Georgie would need to spin the wheel of forfeits 3 times, she feared the worst as she walked over towards it following the trail of mess left by Christina before.

She was even more disappointed when the wheel slowly stopped on ‘Black treacle’ and Berta poured the thick mixture slowly down onto the top of the formerly blonde Georgie’s head before placing the upturned bucket over her whole head to ensure it coated her in a humiliating way.

Whilst Georgie fought removed the bucket and tried to regain her composure, Berta had spun the wheel on her behalf, it landed on another substance that Georgie did not like the look of, ‘Rice Pudding’

Berta enjoyed poured the chunky mixture down the front of Georgie’s outfit and then splashing the remainder of the bucket into her face, whilst Georgie could feel all the little pieces fathering together in her top, ensuring it bulged downwards empathising her cleavage for the camera to zoom in on.

“And now if you would like to give the wheel it’s final spin before we move onto the goal forfeits” Berta instructed the forlorn looking Georgie. She gave it as big a pull as she could manage sending a splattering of mess all over the floor as she did so, before watching it rotate around to the third substance, ‘Eggs’

Berta was given an egg box with 12 inside and proceeded  to smash them one after another on the top of Georgie’s head, she was unable to do anything about it as the slimy yolk cascaded down her head and seemed inside her outfit from both the front and the back causing her some discomfort.

She was happy to be heading for the goal forfeits as she knew at least the first one would be a big improvement on the previous messes, and so she quickly followed Berta to the gungetank that had doused Christina with white gunge, noticing that it now housed red above it instead.

Once Georgie was in position Berta pulled the cord and released the gunge down onto Georgie who lifted her head up and allowed the gunge flow to wash over her, coating her in a deep shade of red that match her cheeks whenever her partner embarrassed her in public.

Once the flow of gunge had finished, she was allowed out of the tank and led over to a shower contraption, noticing the handcuffs she feared the worst as she was strapped into them and left with her arms secured above her head.

As the shower started up it began showring her in passata, the thick tomato substance flowed over her and was not pleasant at all, however things got worse for Georgie when it was revealed that Anna had been released from the chair and she was now standing alongside Berta and both her several buckets of rotten tomatoes that they were going to throw at her.

Georgie was unable to avoid the tomatoes which were launched with surprising accuracy from the two Spanish ladies ensuring that for the next 5 minutes Georgie had enough tomato covering for a lifetime as her ruined clothes started to subside under the duress.

Berta eventually turned to face the camera as she closed off the show leaving the helpless Georgie at the hands of the still bedraggled Anna who was out for some serious revenge…