On the Totty series finale, I want to include someone who ends up on the show somehow but hates being gunged so the girls have a lot of fun with her. But I cannot seem to think of an ideal candidate, preferably someone I’ve not used before. Can be from any walk of life as long as it would be realistic she was at a UK TV studio in normal times.

Any suggestions please post below?

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

“Well it’s here the most extreme TV programme since Lucy Worsley rode a giant inflatable White Swan naked into Cheltenham Town Centre as a load of virgin wrestling fans wearing John Cena T-shirts tossed off their loads over them” a bikini clad Maisie Smith said. “Have you been on the weed again Maisie?” an also bikini clad Amber Gill asked laughing. “I hope Rosamund and Thandie haven’t smuggled in some strong stuff and got you to try it?” Katie Thistleton in a sexy black dress added.

“No that was a programme idea I’ve pitched. Come on Caprice has her own show for ***** sake. Also the good shit was being smuggled in by Emily Blunt up her hairy ****” Maisie replied. “Just when you didn’t think we couldn’t get any more extreme or hit new depths of depravity along came Maisie” Amber replied. “I thought you meant Caprice’s show at first” Katie added. “She really hates being gunged you know, that isn’t an act” Maisie added.

“As you can see we are all in and will soon likely be out of the outfits we wore on the Tiswas/OTT charity revival in the spring” Amber said.

“Talking of that show Rosamund Pike and Thandie Newton are back in the studio with us for the first time since then. They are lurking about somewhere we don’t know when they will decide to appear but all hell could break loose at any time” Katie said. Suddenly the Phantom Flan Flinger ran on and gave all three ladies a custard pie in the face. “She what we mean” Amber said wiping the pie cream out of her eyes. “I see your hair is back to it’s usual style. Did the dreadlock extensions fall out?” Maisie asked. “No I had them removed as I’ve no idea what I’ll get covered in if Rosamund gets creative and to go back to my look from the original show” Amber replied.

“Anyway lets welcome our first guests formerly on CBBC and now doing proper acting on Our Girl it’s Amy-Leigh Hickman. From the BBC Asian Network Breakfast Show and Saturday Mash Up it’s Harpz Kaur. Finally with a very warm front it’s BBC Weather Presenter Sarah Keith-Lucas” Katie said as the ladies walked on to cheers.

Amy-Leigh was in a polka dot bikini type top and matching skirt. Harpz was in a black vest top and denim shorts and was carrying a glass of wine. Whilst Sarah was in a very sexy white bubbled string bikini.

“Wow Sarah, you have gone all in” Amber said congratulating her on her very daring and sexy outfit. “Well I’m not going to hold back” Sarah replied. “There’s not much holding them back by the looks of it” Amber said pushing a giggling Sarah’s boobs up. “Harpz Kaur, a girl out of my own heart. Walking on here with a glass of wine” Maise said giving Harpz a pie in her face. “That is how you throw a pie at someone” she added. “Amy-Louise, we had Michelle Keegan on earlier in the series has she warned you about this?” Katie asked. “Well I’m here and I’m going to rock this crazy ***** show” Amy-Leigh screamed back.

“Amy-Leigh seems to have chavish tendencies. Please welcome Tulisa who will help us demonstrate how we deal with chavs on Totty” Maisie said.

Tulisa walked on soaking wet in a dark bikini

“You’ll need to shower afterwards not beforehand or were you just being a rebellious chav?” Amber asked. “No Rosamund and Thandie just threw a couple of buckets over me. They wanted to practice their aim” Tulisa replied laughing. Katie bought on a bucket of baked beans and Maisie and Amber hoisted a laughing Tulisa upside down and began to dunk her head into it. “A short sharp dunking into a bucket usually reduces chavish traits” Katie said as Tulisa’s head head went into and out of the bucket several times. Her long dark hair was becoming a bean covered mass as she gasped her hair.

“Chavs usually have quite saggy tits as they tend to have had multiple kids by the age of 21” Amber said as she pulled Tulisa’s top down to expose her impressively enhanced chest. “She’s had them done, probably shagged a footballer behind Lakeside to pay for them” Katie said as Tulisa screamed “You bitches”. Maisie and Amber turned Tulisa the right way up with the bucket still on her head as the beans ran down her naked breasts. “Be a good chav and rub them in” Katie said as Tulisa her stomach rippling with laughter obligingly did so.

“You may remove the bucket as you have been a good Chav and read the next line” Amber said pointing to the autocue. “Never mention the Phantom Flan Flinger” Tulisa read out as she removed the bucket. The Phantom ran on and gave her a double pie sandwich as she screamed. “Please thank Tulisa for the time being” Maisie said.

“Tiswas used to have the News at Den, the Tiswas/OTT Revival had the News at Den, Jen or Den. But we never have the News At Four do we Harpz Kaur?” Amber said taking Harpz by the hand and leading her to a desk with two chairs behind it. “We need someone to do the bongs. Tulisa can you come back and join us?” Amber asked. A giggling Tulisa walked back on and Amber pointed for her to lie on the table.

A news bulletin music played and Tulisa sat up and sexily said “Bong”. “Welcome to the News at Four with me Amber Gill and my friend Harpz Kaur” Amber said. “I’m Harpz Kaur but I’ve been called Apple Core” Harpz said as a load of apple puree crashed down onto her. Harpz giggled and wiped the mush out of her eyes as it ran down her long black hair. “Pears also have a core, do you have a fair pair Harpz Kaur?” Amber said as a load of peach puree crashed down onto Harpz and laughing she took her vest top off to reveal a sexy black bra. Tulisa said bong again and crawled provocatively across the table topless and got a bucket of rice pudding over her head and in her face. “I expect you have a nice pair too but Amber Gill this shock may give you a chill” Harpz said.

Amber took her bikini top off to reveal her large brown breasts as a load of cold Greek yogurt crashed down onto her head. Amber screamed with the cold as the white lumping substance weighed down her Afro hair and across her breasts. “My boobs are impressive, some say that they are the best but Harpz get that bra off and rub this treat into your chest” Amber said. Harpz took her bra off to reveal a pair of pert breasts with large nipples as a load of crushed cherries and fruit berries crashed down on her. She rubbed the mush suggestively into her boobs as it ran slowly down her body.

Tulisa said “Bong” again as she lay on her back doing a comedy dying fly and get a bucket of oxtail soup thrown right over her head “Dying fly everyone” Amber yelled as she and Harpz jumped out of their seats and started doing the dying fly with Tulisa. Maisie wondered on and said ” These need some fly spray I think” she said and a huge deluge of oxtail soup crashed down onto them all. Maisie floundered around and fell on top of Harpz and Amber and all three flailed about on the floor. “You two forgot an important line. If I take it off, it stays off and this belongs in a trough” Maisie said taking her bra off to reveal her amazing breasts as a load of pig swill cascaded down onto Harpz, Amber, Tulisa and herself.

“What Am I like” Maisie said sliding into her signature splits. “There is something I don’t like but that I love and that is Semolina, Semolina, Semolina, Semolina” Rosamund Pike shouted as she ran on with her partner in crime Thandie Newton. Both were in sexy bikinis as several buckets of Semolina crashed down onto all the girls.

Maisie and Amber hugged Rosamund and Thandie. “We said that we’d be back” Rosamund said. “The weather has been a bit funny in the studio. Sarah come and join us and please explain” Thandie said. Rather nervously Sarah Keith-Lucas walked over to join them. “You’ve come on looking that sexy and you are nervous. We don’t bite but I’m not sure about Emily Blunt’s hairy ****” Rosamund said as Sarah got a bit embarrassed. “Read that out Sarah” Thandie said pointing to the autocue. “Rosamund, Thandie and myself are now on the News at Four with Harpz Kaur, we’d love to present the weather especially when it’s hot, but as I shout Semolina, Semolina, Semolina, Semolina. We’ll show you what we’ve got” Sarah said. Rosamund pulled Sarah’s bikini top off as she and Thandie whipped theirs off too to display three more pairs of impressive breasts as several more buckets of semolina cascaded over the girls.

“Please tell us what the weather is going to be in the Totty Studio, Tulisa?” Amber said “It’ll be raining baked beans and mushy peas” Tulisa yelled as several buckets were thrown over her totally destroying her. “Harpz, your turn” Maisie said hoisting Harpz onto the table “It’ll be raining baked beans, mushy peas and semolina” Harpz yelled as a couple buckets of each were thrown all over her and she sat on the table in shock. “Sarah how old are you?” Thandie asked. “I’m 38 why?” Sarah replied. “Half my age ironically” Maisie replied. “What does that make our combined ages then?” Maisie asked. “57 of course” Rosamund replied laughing knowing what would happen.

Suddenly a huge deluge of Heinz Baked Beans, sauces, spaghetti and soups crashed down on all seven ladies completely covering them. “You stupid cow” Maisie yelled at Rosamund. “Look what you’ve done” she ranted. “You’d have said it anyway” Rosamund replied. “Am I stupid enough to say 57!” Maisie replied as another deluge hit the seven topless women as they floundered about under the deluge. “Opps what am I like” Maisie said as she wiped the mess out of her eyes and rang her hair out. “Looks like we have come back at just the right time” Thandie said. “Having fun, Harpz and Sarah?” Rosamund asked. “I think so” Harpz replied shaking some of the mess off her hands. “You need to give them a good shake to get the gunge off. Come on after 3 lets do a synchronized tits shake” Thandie said. “Anyone who doesn’t will have their heads shoved somewhere unpleasant” Amber added. “Read that Sarah” Rosamund said pointing Sarah to a cue card. “It will be up Emily Blunt’s hairy” Sarah said stopping. “Okay after three we all say it and shake our tits” Thandie said. The girls yelled the word and shook their tits with gunge flying everywhere.

The camera cut to Emily getting out of a car outside the studio. She was in workout gear.

“You bitches have started without me. But now I’m here and so is he” she said pointing to her crotch. “Good to see you and him are looking good” Thandie replied. “Hey Harpz, what do you think would be a good name for him?” Emily asked. “Well my Uncle Parkāśh is a practicing Sikh so has a a very impressive beard, I’d guess he must be nearly as hairy as you. So Parkāśh the hairy gash?” Harpz suggested. Emily roared with laughter. “You are my type of girl Harpz, I cannot wait to meet you in a bit and introduce you to Prakash” she replied as it cut back to the studio.

“Please give it up for Harpz, Sarah, Tulisa and the delinquent duo Raunchy Roz and Randy Thandie” Amber said as they all took a bow. “Lets also hear it for Amber and Maisie who along with Katie have been totally game and have given us an hilarious series” Thandie said. “Shall we look around the TV Centre for a reluctant gunger?” Rosamund said. “Yes, Tulisa and Harpz do you fancy joining us. I think Sarah may have her own game to play in a bit. Otherwise we’d take her too” Thandie suggested.

“Yes that’s it nick our bloody guests” Amber said laughing as the four topless and gunge covered women ran off laughing. “My god they are on the loose again. Everyone better be on their guard” Katie said as she lead Amy-Leigh across the studio. They walked over a grid and a load of blue gunge shot up both of their skirts. “That has moistened my lips” Katie said. “It felt nice” Amy-Leigh replied. “Well lets do it again” Kate countered walking back over the grid with Amy-Leigh but nothing happened. Yet when they walked back over it they each got a stronger blast of blue gunge up their skirts.

“Okay Amy-Leigh many years ago there was a TV game show called Gladiators and this game is our take on it” Katie said as she lead Amy-Leigh to a large inflatable pool which was filled with custard. Either side of the pool were two raised platforms filled with custard pies. and there were two ropes hanging above the platforms. “We have to swing on the ropes?” Amy-Leigh asked. “No we’ll be suspended by these harnesses” Katie replied pointing to two harnesses by the pool. “Every time one of us scores 5 custard pie hits on the opponent then the other girl will get a dunk in the custard and a surprise from above. The first lady to twenty points will be the overall winner” Katie explained.

The harness operator walked onto the set and asked both ladies to sit on the floor. He began to fix Katie’s harness to her feet. “We are upside down!” Amy-Leigh screamed. “Of course we are, why aren’t you wearing any knickers you dirty cow?” Katie replied. “I am actually but they’ll be on full view” Amy-Leigh replied. “Well I’m not” Katie countered trying to wind up Amy-Leigh.

Both girls we hoisted up in the air. Katie’s dress fell below her waist to reveal her big peachy bum and slightly wobbly belly. She was actually wearing a black thong, her boobs were just about staying in her dress. Amy-Leigh’s billowy skirt was hanging down over her face and her bum in a pair of sexy white panties was on view. Amy-Leigh reached up and tucked her skirt into her bra. Both ladies reached out for their ropes and pulled themselves towards their platforms and grabbed a couple of pies with the rope held against their bodies by their upper arms.

A klaxon went off and both girls threw their pies at each other scoring body hits. They pulled themselves back to the platform but Amy-Leigh lost hold of her rope and swung back out over the pool as Katie grabbed two more pies. Katie waited for Amy-Leigh to gather a couple more pies before she threw her two onto Amy-Leigh’s body before Amy-Leigh could launch hers. Amy-Leigh scored one hit with one of her pies bit the other just missed Katie’s head. Katie grabbed another couple of pies as Amy-Leigh pulled herself back to her platform. Amy-Leigh remained by her platform to keep distance from Katie. But Katie dropped one of her pies into the custard and hurled the other at Amy-Leigh and it hit her smack in the face.

Amy-Leigh screamed as she was dunked headfirst into the custard and emerged with her head and upper body dripping with custard. Worse was to follow as a torrent of spaghetti crashed down on her as she tried to get her baring back. Most seemed to hit her crotch area too. Katie had reached for two more pies and swung over giving Amy-Leigh a pie sandwich in the face. Amy-Leigh pulled herself back to her platform and began to hurl long range pies at Katie who did likewise. The score went 7-4 and then 8-4 before Amy-Leigh scored another direct hit and Katie went plunging into the custard. Katie emerged covered and was git by a deluge of blancmange as Amy-Leigh scored a double hit on Katie from closer range to make it 8-7. Katie and Amy-Leigh both pulled themselves back to the platform to reload.

They both returned near to each other and exchanged hit to make it 9-8 and then Amy-Leigh levelled it up at 9-9 but Katie scored with her second pie two and Amy-Leigh went for her second ducking in the custard. She emerged with a fresh yellow coating gasping for air and got hit with a deluge of porridge. Katie scored two more direct hits to make it 12-9. But Amy-Leigh reached out and grabbed Katie as the girls began to grapple upside down. Amy-Leigh pulled Katie’s dress off over her head leaving her just in a thong with her big juicy breasts exposed. Katie grappled with Amy-Leigh’s bra pulling that off to expose her pert smaller breasts and sent her into a spin by her skirt. Katie quickly pulled herself back to her platform and grabbed two more pies as Amy-Leigh spun out of control. Katie scored two more direct hits to make it 14-9. Both girls quickly returned to their platforms and rearmed themselves with single pies and scored simultaneous hits to make it 15-10.

Both girls were simultaneously dunked into the custard and emerged with their breasts bouncing and them gasping her air as a load of oxtail soup crashed down over both girls. Both flailing about reached for their platforms but Katie lost grip of hers as she swung back out allowing Amy-Leigh to score two direct hits to narrow it to 15-12. Katie and Amy-Leigh resorted to long distance throws as their pies were restocked. The scores went to 17-14 and then 18-14 as Katie swung back out on the attack. But Amy hit her with a perfect pie in the face and Katie went down into the custard at 18-15. As she emerged she was hit with a deluge of cherry yogurt and Amy-Leigh scored a double hit to make it 18-17. Katie pulled back to her platform and reloaded with two pies whist Amy-Leigh went on defence.

Katie scored another hit but missed with her second as Amy-Leigh scored a medium range hit to narrow it to 19-18. As Katie was reloading Amy-Leigh scored with a Hail Mary to level it up at 19-19 as the girls desperately hurled pies at each other. Finally Katie scored the winning hit and Amy-Leigh plunged into the custard as her harness rope went limp. She emerged slowly from under the custard as a load of strawberry yogurt crashed down onto her. Katie was celebrating winning but Amy-Leigh reached up and pulled her down towards the custard as Katie’s harness rope went slack. Katie crashed into the custard alongside Ellie and both disappeared beneath the custard as they rolled about laughing. They finally emerged both covered in custard but Katie pulled Amy-Leigh’s knickers down to reveal her neatly trimmed custard covered muff. Amy-Leigh screamed and pulled Katie’s thong off to reveal her clean shaven fanny. Laughing Katie pushed Amy-Leigh back into the custard one final time.

Amber walked on laughing “Join us after the local news for part two when this crowded house of a series finale will continue when Maisie and Sarah give us a unique take with a never to be forgotten Karaoke version of Weather With You. Alice Fevronia the winner of Lizzie Cundy’s Celebrity Coach Dip will join us and we will see Rosamund and Thandie’s interaction with supermodel mother and daughter Cindy Crawford and Kaia Gerber. Which came as quite a surprise to Kaia” she said.

“Plus no doubt we’ll have more mayhem created by Rosamund and Thandie in the studio and maybe an appearance from Emily Blunt with her hairy ****. Talking of Roz and Thandie where are they?” Maisie concluded. Just then Rosamund, Thandie, Harpz and Tulisa reappeared dragging a couple of unidentified screaming women with them.

The producers who worked on many of the long running TG messy shows sat around the table, having their monthly planning meeting. Various topics would be discussed from reviews of previous shows along with any concepts that could work in the future.

As with all of the meetings a few of the regular presenters attended to add input from that on-stage point of view, at this meeting Vicky Gomersall was joined by Natalie Sawyer and Nikki and the three of them sat down at one end of the table together.

The three women had their say on various matters when questioned on topics relating to the mess and the devices used, before long the meeting drew near to a close, with one of the lead producers asking if anyone had any further business.

Most of the people shook their heads until it got to Vicky who stated “Nothing much for me to add, oh except to say, gutted Nat, who do you feel with yet another play off lose for Brentford and no chance to play in the Premier League in your new stadium”  

Natalie tried her best to hide her disappointment as a murmur of discussion could be heard down at the far end of the table, before one of the producers spoke up. “Yes, actually that is a good point Vicky, I think it’s only fair Natalie you take a forfeit for Brentford losing” quickly the rest of the room agreed with Nikki and Vicky both laughing at the quick turn.

Something that all the presenters were usually prepared for, in fact both Vicky and Nikki had brought spare clothes just in case the producers had decided they suddenly needed to test something out and one of them was to be the Guinea pig.

Unfortunately for Natalie she had been in a rush and as a result had forgotten to pick the bag up, leaving it by the front door. Now mentally kicking herself she forlornly pleaded her case to the unmoving production team.

It was decided that as no show was going to go out in the near future Natalie’s forfeit would be filmed and uploaded onto the show’s social media accounts, as Vicky needed to leave promptly Nikki would be presenting the video.

An hour later Nikki appeared in front of the camera’s wearing her changed outfit of a smart grey pant suit, she smiled towards the camera and started to speak.

“Hello, and welcome to a brief video, I hope you all enjoy watching this on your various devices whether phone or wherever.

You might be wondering what this is about, but don’t worry in keeping with our theme someone is about to get very messy.

I’m pleased to introduce Natalie Sawyer” Nikki stated as she gestured to her side and the still casually dressed Natalie walked out and joined Nikki in the camera shot. Natalie was wearing her tight blue jeans and a grey top, looking rather pensive simply because she feared the outcome for her clothes.

Nikki greeted Natalie and they spoke before she turned back to address the camera directly. “Why is Natalie here to get messy you might be asking?

Well her beloved Brentford lost in the Championship Play Off final to Fulham and as a result they will not be playing in the Premier League next season, it was decided by the production team that such a result needed to be assigned a forfeit and therefore Nat has no choice but to face it.

Nikki and Natalie walked over towards a railways track which had one cart in place, Natalie reluctantly climbed inside and lowered the hand rest down to ensure she was sat safely in position she gave Nikki a sad look as the cart slowly moved along the track away from where Nikki stood.

The camera followed Natalie as she reached a tunnel, before it switched to another angle as the cart entered, at this moment Natalie cried out as jets of gunge white from one side and red from the other sprayed over her.

As this was happening some red gunge was sprayed down onto the top of her head ensuring she received a total heading covering of the sloppy mess, as she continued through the tunnel the gunge flow continued to douse her endlessly, in no time at all she could feel the gunge pressing tightly against her body through her top.

The cart then abruptly stopped and Natalie sat anxiously awaiting the next messy onslaught, however to her surprise after a bit of clunking behind her the cart move along this time to the right and headed back into the open and around towards where a surprised Nikki stood.

Natalie looked around curiously having expected further mess, something had obviously gone wrong as Nikki’s expression betrayed a similar thought, before Nikki finally spoke up.

“Guys why has the cart come back already?

And why is there now a second one attached!”

A runner could be heard shouting at Nikki that the second cart needed to be added for ‘balance issues’ and she would need to join Natalie, and to further her dismay someone stated that they needed to provide Natalie with clean clothes to go home in.

So, Nikki was left with no choice but to reluctantly strip out of her pant suit leaving her in her sexy black lingerie, as she moaned to the producers before climbing into the cart behind the gunged Natalie and lower her own bar as the cart set off again towards the tunnel.

Once inside the jets sprayed the two women with cold gunge causing them to cry out as the white and red gunge flowed over their heads and down their bodies, pooling in the bottom of the cart where they sat as the cart finally made its way out of the tunnel.

The messy onslaught was far from over as they made there way towards the eggs launchers, fortunately for both women only some of the egg launches continued eggs due to low stocks in the storeroom for the production staff, however that didn’t stop several direct hits with the yolky mess left streaming down their gunge covered bodies.

Nikki cursed herself, she should have known that somehow she would be roped in, despite the producers telling her it was a special slop for Natalie, she would have sworn this was the plan all along.

As they continued along the tracks, climbing higher and higher up the studio several other savoury substances were poured over them including rice pudding and tomato ketchup, this was combined with cream and custard.

As nearly they reached the top Nikki reflected that in fact, she was glad to only be in her lingerie as the mess on her skin probably felt nicer than the cold mess sticking to her skin through her clothes like Natalie.

The cart came to a stop and the handle bars lifted up enabling the two sodden ladies ot climb out, looking at each other to get an indication of the reddish mixed colour they both appeared to be as Nikki picked out some beans from her bra.

The pair of them knew there was only one way they would be allowed down, and that was on the new slide and so with Natalie in front and Nikki close behind they sat down on their bums and pushed off sliding down leaving a messy stain along the sides of the tube as they went.

Eventually reaching the bottom the pair of them were dropped into the big pool they usually sat at the bottom of the Get Your Own Back studio, a thick layer of skin sat above the purple and green gunge which was immediately broken as the two women splashed down and one after another vanished under the surface.

After they reappeared and hugged each other a large vat of orange slime was dropped onto them from above for a final ambush, not that it appeared possible to get either of them any messier than they already were.

After this they gingerly made their way to the side and flopped out, before standing up and waving goodbye to the viewers as they tried to wipe as much slop off before heading to the showers, both knowing they’d been completely set up, and Vicky was at the heart of it.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. 

The busty blonde reality TV star had just walked through the television station’s studio’s lobby, having been dropped off by a taxi. Walking into the familiar changing room, she was surprised by the skimpy outfit that was laid out on a table inside. A note was pinned into the fabric. Picking up the note she read it with a frown on her face. Hi Billie, Given what we have planned for you later, we thought this would be better for you to wear. The Producers. Having read this, she fumed to herself.

With her eyes widened to the size of saucers, Billie put down the note and shook her head in exasperation. Knowing that the time before the show was due to come “on-air” was ticking by, she quickly changed out of what she had arrived in and began pulling on the skimpy, lacy garment. She just had it sitting comfortably on her curvy body when there was a knock on the door of the changing room. She soon followed the waiting stage-hand to the dimly-lit studio where the show had been filmed for the previous few weeks.

A few minutes later, the familiar jaunty jazz theme tune filled the air, mixing with the applause from the audience. The studio lights brightened, revealing the usual collection of gunge and dunk tanks. Like always, the walls were festooned with different-sized versions of the show’s logo.

Standing below the largest of these logos, which hung on the back wall, was the same blonde woman who had hosted the previous episode and introduced the evening’s contestants at the time. This time, however, the busty Essex woman was wearing a lacy black bra and knickers, black lace suspenders and sheer black stockings. As the audience waved and cheered at the sight of her she waved and smiled, although some would say that their was a nervous edge to her broad smile. “Hello!” she called out, her voice finally getting the audience to grow quiet. “And welcome to Part Two of Match Five of Immerse the Nurse: Season Two, with me, Billie Faiers. Tonight, one nurse takes a step closer to bringing at least half a million quid back to the hospital they work at while the other goes home with a covering of something messy! Will Aintree University Hospital’s Lizzie be victorious or will Aberdeen Royal Infirmary’s Lucy G beat her? Well, it’s nearly time to find out! Come on out here, ladies!”

The two blonde nurses walked out wearing the same white tunics, stockings and shoes as

Lizzie

Lucy G

they had been for the previous show. They waved nervously at the audience as they approached Billie.

The blonde reality television star grinned at them both. “Welcome back, Lizzie and Lucy,” she said welcomingly. “How are you feeling now that we’ve reached this stage?”

The black-stockinged Scottish nurse looked bashfully at the floor. “This is super scary, Billie,” Lucy answered. “I don’t like what might be coming.”

Next to Lucy, the blonde Liverpudlian grinned confidently. “Well, I think that no matter what happens, it’s going to be fun!” she remarked with a smug smirk on her face.

Billie chuckled. “We’ll see if you still think that in a few minutes, Lizzie!” she joked. “Because I can reveal that all voting methods are now closed.”

A loud sing-song “Woooo” came from the audience, causing the two nurses to shuffle their feet anxiously.

Feeling sorry for the other two blondes, Billie decided to stop tormenting them with tension. “Okay, I know that the IT department have put together yet another of those graphics they’re oh so fond of. Could we see it, please?”

It took a few moments before a large screen flashed into life, showing the familiar pie chart with the polling percentages written next to it. This showed an emphatic win for Lucy.

Lizzie buried her head in her hands and groaned. “Why did I have to bring up the Premiership during the preview show?!”

Billie and Lucy laughed. “I don’t know, Lizzie,” chuckled the lingerie-clad blonde. “But, it hasn’t been the best idea you’ve had. Now, please, step over to our reappearing ‘Wheel of Forfeits’, give it a spin and let’s find out what you’re going to do first.”

Still shaking her head in disbelief, the blonde Liverpudlian crept over to the wheel in question. She nervously reached out and gave it a hard pull, sending it spinning rapidly until it slowed to a stop, the upcoming forfeit highlighted by the built-in pointer. The crowd cheered when they saw what was coming Lizzie’s way.

Billie smiled widely at Lizzie who was feeling even more nervous having after seeing this. “Well, Lizzie,” she giggled. “If we’re dunking you into treacle in your underwear, I think you’re a bit overdressed. Time to ditch your tunic, I think.”

“Oh, no!” squeaked the wavy blonde-haired nurse. She pouted nervously and unbuckled her red belt before undoing the buttons on her white tunic. The tunic flapped open, revealing the red lace bra, knickers and suspenders paired with her white stockings. Lizzie shrugged the tunic off her shoulders and kicked it aside. Standing in the glare of the spotlights in just her underwear, stockings and high-heeled sandals, she slowly turned around to give the camera a view of her shapely arse. A chorus of wolf-whistles rose from the audience. One slightly rowdier individual who called out “Gunge the Slut!” was escorted out of the studio by a burly pair of security guards.

Billie glared in the direction the heckler had been taken in. “Well, now then,” she paused and gestured towards a dunk tank in the corner to gather her own nerves. “Lizzie, take your seat, please.”

With an anxious look on her face, Lizzie walked over to the dunk tank in question and clambered up to the contraption’s seat. As she did so, the camera zoomed in for yet another shot of her sexy arse. She sat on the tipping seat and nervously crossed her legs.

“Feeling comfy up there, Lizzie?” Billie asked tauntingly, not actually caring about what the blonde nurse was going to answer with. “Well, you’re getting dunked!”

Lizzie was completely unprepared, having barely heard what Billie had said, when she felt her seat drop out from under her and she fell forward and down. She splashed into the thick sticky brown condiment below with a sound that no-one in the audience or watching at home could quite describe. The best description was a cross between a splat and a slurp. The sticky tar-like ooze appeared to writhe without revealing what was beneath. Eventually, Lizzie stood up as an unrecognisable humanoid shape. She looked like a dark-brown or black female version of Swamp Thing. The treacle had engulfed her entirely. It had matted her hair into a sticky tangle and clung to her face, tits and arse. Large glob-like drops dripped from her curves as she clambered, dripping with sticky goo, from the pool of treacle.

Billie looked on in disgust. “Incidentally, ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be adding that entire pool of treacle to next episode’s Healthy Dunking,” she said with an evil-looking smirk. “Now, Lizzie, spin the wheel one last time and face your last forfeit.”

Awkwardly, the treacle-covered nurse waddled over to the “Wheel of Forfeits” and reached her hand out to gingerly take a hold of one side of the wheel. The sticky treacle made it difficult for her to  actually spin the wheel but it was soon whirring around at a speed that nearly made those watching dizzy.

After a short while, the wheel slowed down and finally ticked to a stop. Once again, Lizzie’s upcoming forfeit was indicated clearly. Billie couldn’t help laughing at what was indicated by the wheel. “Well, it looks like we’ll be welcoming back yet another former healthy dunkee,” she said thoughtfully. “Yes, welcome back, Jodie Comer!”

The blonde actress walked onto the stage with a puzzled look on her face. She briefly shook her head when she caught Billie’s eye. This just made the blonde Essex girl laugh heartily. With a rueful smile on her face, Jodie waved to the audience before, at the director’s urging, blowing a kiss at the camera. This, however, just made her feel a bit silly. Unlike her previous appearance on the show, this time she wore a floral-patterned white one-piece swimsuit and a pair of scrappy sandals. The swimsuit had the thinnest straps going over her shoulders that anyone had seen and the neckline plunged downwards to show off almost the entire length of her cleavage.

Billie grinned at the disappointed actress. “Welcome back, Jodie! I hope you’re ready for this!”

The blonde actress rolled her eyes at this. “You, must be joking, Billie!” she scoffed. “This is about as bad as listening to my aunt’s singing!”

One half of the duo behind the “Mummy Diaries” grinned at the Merseysider. “Well, let’s see about getting this finished quickly with shall we? Angie, Abbie, care to do the honours?” A murmur of anticipation went through the audience, they remembered this duo from Horseracing Splatstakes.

The familiar blonde stage-hands walked on-stage in their familiar “sexy policewoman” costumes. With wicked grins on their faces they took both Jodie and Lizzie in hand and pulled them over to a bit of the stage marked with a large red “X”. Jodie and Lizzie found themselves pushed together back-to-back before the two blonde “cops” tore off what the nurse and actress were wearing. This left Jodie wearing just  her sandals while Lizzie was left with just her suspenders and stockings on. The two stage-hands then handcuffed the two women’s hands behind their backs and around the other woman, further pulling them together. The two stage-hands then tied lengths of rope tightly round their ankles. This forced them to stand even closer together.

A look of displeasure crossed Jodie’s face as she felt sticky treacle rub from Lizzie’s back to her own. “Ooohh, yuuuck!” she shuddered.

The blonde from Essex chuckled at this. “Well, I think we’re all wondering what a savoury shower entails,” she said thoughtfully. “Let’s find out!”

Suddenly, a column-like deluge of baked beans fell from the ceiling, resulting in a pair of screams that quickly turned to groans. It splattered over the two bound and naked women, tomato sauce and beans flowing over their heads and shoulders. The beans rolled down their faces and off onto the curves of their breasts. Jodie’s formerly-pristine blonde hair was quickly turned into a red-stained lank mess. Of course, the beans just added to the messiness of Lizzie who was still a treacle-covered mess.

When the tomato sauce-covered beans stopped falling, there came a flow of thick lumpy-looking brown-coloured stew. The two women below screamed and wriggled around in a vain attempt to get out of the cascade of rancid-smelling stew. Bits of half-rotten beef and vegetables swimming in thick stale gravy poured over them, coating faces, boobs, bums and legs in thick brown muck. When this finished, the two “showered” ladies were unrecognisable under a coating of lumpy brown ooze.

The camera then panned around to show Billie strapped onto a wheel-equipped chair mounted on a set of rails. “Well, that’s almost all we have time for and I’m moments away from a messy send-off,” she announced. “But first, Lucy G, please, spin those wheels and let’s find out who next episode’s host will be and who will be our next Healthy Celebrity Dunkee.”

The only clean woman on-stage reached out and spun the roulette wheel that had names written on it. This slowed to a halt after a while to show the name of the next episode’s hostess. Seeing that the first wheel had stopped, Lucy pulled on the second wheel which was covered in numbers. It turned rapidly, the pointer clicking through the segments so fast it sounded like a whirr. The wheel finally slowed to a stop indicating the segment bearing a large number nine inside it. The blonde nurse blew a kiss to the camera at this point and walked backstage.

At this point, the camera view swung back to where Billie waited. “Well, those spins mean a couple things,” she announced. “One is that Susanna Reid will be hosting our next episode. So join her for the introduction of two new nurses willing to put themselves in your hands and see who prospective dunkee number nine is. In the meantime, I’ve hosted my second show, so there is something messy coming my way. Bye!”

As Billie said this, the chair began rolling along the rails. It lurched around a bend and a wave of blue gunge fell from above, splashing over her upturned face, shoulders and the tops of her boobs. A little further on, buckets of white and red gunge were thrown at her, coating each side of her from her boobs to her hips. She blinked her eyes, trying to get the gunge out of them so she could see. The highly-viscous gunge dripped slowly from her curves as her seat rolled slowly round a final bend. At this point, a series of tiny nozzles erupted with frothy white foam. The slime-covered blonde found herself being covered from her feet to the crown of her head in the thick foam. This continued to spray at her until the show’s final shot as it faded out was of a five-feet-tall pyramid of foam where the reality TV star had been sat. The credits then rolled over replays of the evening’s various gungings while the jazzy theme tune played.

Author’s note: No, this I’m not done with this even if I did introduce another different series! Hope you enjoyed this instalment of Immerse the Nurse, Match Six is coming up soon.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

After enduring a couple of chaotic gungings on Episode 4 of Carry On Caprice and suffering yet more indignities. Caprice took herself away to Spain for a couple of days and sent the production staff a note “Don’t contact me, I’m in Spain”. She finally dared to read the reviews. Yet again her comic timing had been praised and her real contempt and distress for not having the guests she had hoped for was seen as wonderfully ironic cutting comedy. “Caprice totally bought us into the idea she thought Missy Keating, Mollie-Mae Hague and Sophia Peschisolido were escorts and played off the irony of dressing like one herself. Her warm and willingness for self depreciation and to suffer humiliation gave the three ladies the confidence and comfort to go along with the joke and gloriously send themselves up as mercilessly as Caprice does herself”. was just one such quote.

She slowly looked at her phone. There was a text message from the producer. “Great show again Caprice, viewing figures up by another 5% from last week. ITV2 will now move show from 10:00pm to 9:30pm. We could go earlier but we know you love to be naughty and flash that amazing body whilst covered in goodness knows what so we won’t compromise your artistic integrity.” it read. She then saw another message from him. “Please call at 11:00 am tomorrow for pre-show meeting” it read. She looked at her watch it was was nearly 11:00am and she realized this message was from yesterday so reluctantly she dialed into the meeting.

Caprice saw the Producer surrounded by other key personnel from the show and the show’s house group Four of Diamonds. “Hi Caprice another triumph last week. We have got Kelly Brook, Melanie Sykes and Lucy Verasamy for this week’s show” the Producer enthused. “What can I do with those three and who is Lucy Very Smarmy?” Caprice replied. “She is the ITV weathergirl, but I like your play on her name we can do something with that” he replied. “I love your outfit are you wearing it for a bet?” Lauren of Four of Diamonds joked. “No if, you’ve got it flaunt it” Caprice snapped back. “You could sing that from The Producers” the Producer suggested. “Yes that will be my number for this week. So opening monlogue, something with Kelly, girls sing, something wit Melanie, break, call to PA – I never get that joke, my number and then something with Lucy. Plus I don’t want to get messy. How many times do I have to say it” Caprice stated.

“Look we know how you feel, you tell us all the time and we get the joke. Melanie turns 50 this week and has suggested we do something linked to that or spoof her Boddington’s Adverts” the Producer said. “You turn 50 next year Caprice, why not play on that?” Sophia of Four of Diamonds suggested. “Lucy turned 40 this week too” Caroline from the band added. “Fun in a huge birthday cake?” the Producer suggested. “I’m the same as Lucy in my 40’s, don’t you dare say I turn 50 next year and don’t think about pushing me into a giant birthday cake clothed or unclothed” Caprice snapped. “But Kelly what can we do with her?” the Producer suggested. “Look I’ve got Becky Vardy over here, I’m going to meet her in a bit” Caprice said.

“Great idea, we’ll use her, she was game for fun in the jungle” the Producer suggested. “You are not using Becky in my show and she hates getting messy as much as I do. She feels sorry for me but warns me if I ever get her on my show, she’d go mad” Caprice replied hanging up. “She just so gets it, suggesting Becky knowing she is clearly up for as much fun as her. Imagine we surprise Becky? Caprice said she’d go mad we might get something really funny” Yasmin of the band said. “Lets go and film it in Spain!” the Producer suggested. “Yes, Caprice was almost begging us to and the idea she is the same age as Lucy is something she will clearly play off. I know a team mate of Jamie Vardy’s I can get his number. He’ll ensure Becky is in place. He loved seeing her going through it in the jungle” Lauren suggested. “I love it. Let’s push Kelly back to the series finale when we’ve got Amanda Holden plus the return of Darcy Bussell and that thing Cesca Cumani wanted to do the Secret Diary of an Edwardian Lady Mud Wrestler maybe we could use Kelly in that” the Producer concluded.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment.

(Author’s Note: OK, I think I know which way this will go if I keep the usual poll at the end. So, I think I’ll change it slightly.)

The late-night parade of boring advertisements was about to be broken by something a bit more interesting. The first view was of the inside of a very familiar television studio.

The Immerse the Nurse studio was a dim place with all the main lights off, only a single spotlight lit up a small section of the stage while another illuminated the logo on the rear wall. In the middle of the spot-lit section of floor stood a familiar brunette singer. Unlike what she normally wore when performing on-stage, tonight she wore a maroon string bikini. This left very little to the imagination.

The brunette smiled for the camera as she walked around the stage. The camera briefly focused on her bikini-clad boobs and arse. “Hello! As you can see, I’m Rita Ora,” she said, confidently, although it verged on being pompous. “Yes, I was option number nine on the roulette wheel during the last Immerse the Nurse episode. Some of you are probably thinking I’m nuts to come back for another probable dunking after what happened to me in the last series of this show but here I am. Once more, my fate will be down to your donations as representatives from Glasgow’s Queen Elizabeth University Hospital and Inverness’s Raigmore Hospital will also be placing their fates in your hands.”

With these words the floor collapsed under her and Rita splashed into a pool of water underneath. She quickly swam to the surface and climbed out, dripping with the very cold water. To the delight of those watching, the cold water had caused her nipples to harden to a pair of visibly stiff points poking through her bikini top.

Shivering slightly, Rita smiled bravely for the camera. “Well that’s about all from me,” she said sweetly. “Hopefully, we’ll see each other soon. Bye!” Blowing a kiss at the camera, Rita waved as the shot faded out.

Author’s Note 2: You’ll find the, slightly different-to-normal, poll below. You can make two selections from the options, but only once will you be able to click the “Vote” button, as this poll will close in 24 hours (in other words, by 15:30/3:30 pm GMT tomorrow)

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and a sexual nature.

“Welcome to the fourth episode of my show. I hope you had as much fun as I did last week with Lorraine Pascal and her beautiful daughter Ella Balinska. Today my guest is the effortlessly elegeant, fashionable and beautiful Gigi Erskine. We then conclude the series with celebrity bakers Van Der Valk’s Maimie McCoy and then the very naughty Luisa Zissman in the series finale. I’m dreading to think what chaos Luisa will cause when we meet up and Maimie has said she will wear a very low cut shirt and we can see how well she fills it literally” Storm said licking her fingerssensually to the camera in a short tight dress.

“ Last time my wee tartan thong was shown to you all and I had it filled with icing sugar, iced water and honey. My little pink panther was quivering at it’s lips. The two weeks previously my little white panties ended up falling down. So what if anything am I wearing today? As always that is for me to know and you to find out. Anyway lets welcome the incredible Lorraine Pascale” Storm said.

Gizzi walked on in a casual floral short sleeved jumpsuit. Her ample cleavage was on display and her hair was brushed and pulled back. “No sixties retro clothing or beehive hairstyle today then Gizzi?” Storm said hugging her. “You know how long that style takes to create and with all the shit you’ll stick over my head. You’ve got to be joking. I put this on as I can keep some dignity but also flash one’s impressive cleavage a bit as one likes to do darling” Gizzi replied going into a joke posh voice towards the end. “I know I’ve done the beehive look and it has taken ages” Storm countered. “If I ever come on again, we’ll both do beehives, deal?” Gizzi responded. “I’d be up for that” Storm replied laughing. “You are rather posh and you know what they say about posh girls?” Storm continued. “Not the old we don’t wear any knickers joke?” Gizzi replied. “We’ll I’ve got some on me and here they are” she continued pulling a pair of black lacy knickers from her cleavage and throwing them at Storm.

“What will me be making today apart from a mess?” Storm asked. “White Chocolate and Honeycomb Cheesecake as you’ve never seen it before and places you’ve never seen it before” Gizzi replied grinning.

“Right the first ingredient we use is melted butter ideally 85ml. But I’ll use this bucket full” Gizzi said laughing picking up a bucket and emptying the slippery melted butter over Storm’s head. Storm screamed as the sticky goop ran down her luxurious black hair and over her face. “We have left some butter for greasing too” Gizzi added as she took a handful of the remaining butter and began to rub it onto Storm’s legs working her way up and under Storm’s skirt. Storm began to squeal and Gizzi has a shocked look on her face. “Storm Huntley or should I say ****ly, the dirty little madam isn’t wearing any knickers!” Gizzi took the biggest handful of melted butter she could find and pushed it under Storm’s skirt. . “I hope this moistens your lips” Gizzi said as Storm pulled a comical face.

“If I sat on a bike I’d definitely slide off the saddle” Storm said. “The next ingredient would be 900g of cream cheese but I’m using a bucket” she added. “You’ve got a buttery bucket” Gizzi replied. Storm picked up a bucket of cream cheese and took a handful shoving it into Gizzi’s face. She took two more big handfuls and smacked them onto Gizzi’s head. She took another couple of handfuls and did the same again and began to give Gizzi and cheesy shampoo. She took another couple of handfuls and stuck them into Gizzi’s face before taking another couple of big handfuls and sticking her hands inside Gizzi’s top. Gizzi giggled as Storm massaged the cream cheese into her breasts. “This posh slut isn’t wearing a bra. I love caressing her nipples though” Storm said taking a final couple of handfuls and massaging them into Gizzi’s breasts. She accidentally exposed one of Gizzi’s nipples for a few seconds.

“That was naughty. Turn around Storm and flash your bum then we are quits or I’ll do it for you” Gizzi said. Shaking her head is disbelief Storm hoisted up her skirt and quickly spun around as she dropped her skirt giving us a momentary flash of her butter covered bum. “Okay the next ingredient is flour 3 table spoons but guess what we are using a bucket” Storm said as she emptied the bucket over Gizzi’s head. Gizzi disappeared under a white cloud and began to cough. “We also need 3 eggs but guess what I’ve got a bucket of rotten eggs” Storm continued as she emptied the bucket of smelly eggs over Gizzi’s head. Gizzi held her nose but was laughing as the eggs ran down her face and held her top open with her other hand to ensure they went onto her boobs.

“I prefer to go with eggs then flour” Gizzi said as she took her bucket of rotten eggs and slowly emptied it over Storm’s head ensuring a nice amount went down Storm’s frontage inside her dress. She then took the bucket of flour and dumped it onto Storm’s head. Storm slowly removed the bucket coughing under the cloud of flour dust. “Next we have soured cream ideally 284 ml but guess what we are using a bucket” Storm said hardly able to stop laughing. “I’m using a big bucket too, nearly as big as Storm’s bucket” Gizzi replied as both girls collapsed laughing on the floor.

“You’ll need to put these on” Gizzi said retrieving her pair of black lacy knickers from the floor. Slowly Storm put them on wondering what Gizzi had in mind. “We use our heads to rub this in literally. We are going to do a handstand into the buckets and then stand up with the buckets on our heads” Gizzi said. She placed her bucket on the floor by a wall, took a deep breath and did and elegant handstand into it. She landed back down and stood up with the bucket on her head before slowly removing it and gasping her air as the thick soured cream ran down her body.

Storm placed her bucket against the wall and tucked her dress into the knickers. “Can you hold my legs please?” she said to Gizzi. Storm gingerly went into a handstand and submerged her head into the bucket but Gizzi untucked Storm’s skirt making it fall below her waist exposing Storm’s bum in the sexy black knickers. Gizzi gave Storm’s bum a smack but this caused Storm to loose her balance and she fell onto the floor in a heap with the bucket on her head. Gizzi pulled the bucket off and Storm lay there crying with laughter covered in sour cream.

“The final ingredient is 300g of melted white chocolate” Gizzi said helping Storm back up. “Guess what we aren’t using a bucket” Storm added laughing knowing what would happen next a load of melted chocolate cascaded down deluging both ladies who slipped about laughing. “Of course we made a couple earlier” Storm said bringing out a couple of completed White Chocolate and Honeycomb Cheesecakes. “I’m surprised they turned out so well” Gizzi replied as tasted a bit and Storm did likewise.

“Huge thanks to Gizzi Erskine for being such fun. I’ll be back next week” Storm said signing off as she and Gizzi stuck their cheesecakes into each others faces and stood there laughing.

Hope you liked this episode, I think it is the best of this little series so far. Decided to get some very mild nudity in but this will be a one off for this series.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and a sexual nature.

“Welcome to the fifth episode of my fun little series. I hope you all enjoyed last week’s episode with Gizzi Erskine as much as I did. I cannot believe I ended up giving you a flash of my cute little bahookie too. My guest today is actress and star of Van Der Valk Maimie McCoy. Maimie is also a very accomplished cake baker and has done cake demonstrations on This Morning and will no doubt be doing it on me very soon. We then end the series next week with the mischievous and very sexy Luisa Zissman. She may look like one of these Domestic Goddess and Yummy Mummy types but she has a very naughty side as we saw on Celebrity Coach Dip. So I am just wondering what mayhem she may cause when we cross paths” Storm said running her fingers provocatively along her bright red lips as she winked to the camera in a short green dress.

“ Last time I proved I was a true Scotswoman but luckily Gizzi lent me a pair of her sexy black panties otherwise you’d have all seen my wee little pink panther was quivering at it’s lips. Again you all ask what is she wearing, is she wearing any today ? As always that is for me to know and you to find out ?. Anyway lets welcome the gorgeous Maimie McCoy” Storm said.

Maimie walked on as Storm jokingly hummed Eye Level the original Van Der Valk theme song. Maimie was wearing a very open white blouse and a denim skirt with her hair casually down. “I don’t know about eye level it’s more lip service with you” Maimie replied as she began to hum the pink panther theme to a giggling Storm.

“Anyway what are you going to make for us or should I say on us?” Storm asked. “I’m going to make my Chochie Mochie cake” Maimie replied smiling. “Okay what do we need first?” Storm asked “Well we’ll start with 180ml of Vegetable Oil but I’m going to use a bucket” Maimie replied lifting a bucket onto the table surface. “Talking of buckets, lets check if Storm is being a proper Scotswoman again today” Maimie added laughing and sticking her head between Storm’s legs and under her dress. Storm picked up the bucket of vegetable oil and emptied it as best as she could down her own top. Maimie screamed and emerged covered in oil and laughing. “It is like pilchards under there. Fishy and oily” she replied. “Well I’m going to check on you as McCoy is a Scottish name so hopefully you are following tradition too” Storm replied bending down and putting her head under Maimie’s skirt. Maimie picked up another bucket of vegetable oil and emptied it down her own top.

The slippery oil made her blouse transparent and her sexy white bra was clear for all to see. Storm emerged with her hair covered in oil and said “It’s too dark to tell”. “Next we need one cup of warmed milk but I’ll use one bucket of ice cold milk instead” Maimie said picking up a bucket and emptying the cold milk over a screaming Storm’s head. Storm’s lush black blocks were now a soggy mess. “I prefer to mix my milk more vigorously” Storm replied throwing her bucket of cold milk right in Maimie’s face. Maimie stood there shuddering her blouse now completely see through. “Next we’ll add 200 grams of self raising flour or in our case a bucket” Maimie said. “Make that two” Storm replied as the two ladies threw their buckets of flour over each other simultaneously and disappeared under a huge cloud of flour.

Storm emerged first totally white and coughing. She took a handful of flour and stuffed it into Maimie’s bra. “Self raising may help you unless you have a boob job” she said. Pushing her boobs up Maimie replied “These are the Real McCoy”. “Okay next we use two large eggs or in our case two large buckets of rotten eggs” Storm said taking her bucket and slowly emptying it over Maimie’s head. Maimie stood there grimacing as the yellow smelly eggs ran down her destroyed hair, over her face and down her cleavage. “You might as well have the other one too” Storm added throwing the other bucket of eggs smack into Maimie’s face. Maimie screamed and tried not to retch as the foul smelling eggs ran down her face. “I know it’s not in the recipe but I love baked beans with my eggs” Storm went on picking up a bucket of cold baked beans and planting it on Maimie’s head.

Maimie eventually removed the bucket and wiped the mess out of her eyes as the beans ran slowly down her body. “Right back to my cake we need 230 grams of softened butter but I’m using a bucket’s worth” she said. She emptied a bucket of semi melted butter over Storm’s head and stuck handfuls down Storm’s top and up her dress. “Actually rancid butter is fun too” Maimie went on picking up a bucket of the foul smelling substance and emptying it slowly over Storm’s head. She took a huge handful and stuck it up Storm’s dress pulling down her white panties as she did. Storm was gagging as Maimie made Storm step out of her panties and stuck them into Storm’s mouth. Storm was squirming as Maimie said “We need 65g of cocoa but I’m using a bucket of melted chocolate” and slowly emptied the thick brown chocolate over Storm’s head as she spat out her own panties.

Storm stood there totally covered and heaving. She picked up her panties and stuck them into Maimie’s mouth. Maimie gamely kept them in there as Storm picked up her bucket of chocolate but beforehand unbuttoned Maimie’s blouse to reveal her sodden bra and taut stomach. Storm ticked Maimie’s belly button which made her spit the panties. Storm emptied her bucket of chocolate over Maimie’s head and watched as it slowly ran over her destroyed hair, face and body. “We then need to ice our cake” Storm said as she picked up a bucket of icing sugar. “It has to be done correctly” Maimie replied taking the bucket from Storm and emptying it over her own head. “I see” Storm replied and picked up the other bucket of icing sugar and emptied it over her own head.

Both ladies stood there rubbing the icing into each other and giggling. “The cake needs a few sprinkles to finish it off of course” Maimie said as a load of sprinkles crashed down onto the messy girls. “Here are a couple we made earlier” Storm said reaching for two big chocolate cakes. Maimie took one off Storm and said “Let’s try them together” and they both plunged their own faces into the cakes and pushed it up into their hair. “The real way to see if this cake is perfect is to sit on it” Maimie said hardly able the stop laughing as she pulled two chairs onto the messy set. Storm set two more cakes onto the chairs and facing away from the camera both girls hoisted their dress and skirt up respectively and sat down splat onto their cakes.

They wriggled around sexily in them before standing back up. “You are a real Scotswoman then” Storm said glancing at Maimie’s cake covered bum which couldn’t be seen on the camera. “Of course. I’m sure you’ll handle Luisa next week too” Maimie replied. “Please give it up for the very saucy and sexy Maimie McCoy. I’m back next week with Luisa Zissman” Storm said signing off as both ladies started humming Eye Level as the credits rolled.

I forgot that Maimie was mainly a cake baker too and used a cake making recipe with Gigi in the last episode. I tried to change it up a bit so it wasn’t too samey.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. May contain disturbing nineties flashbacks.

Holly: And that concludes tonight’s Gotcha! Ladies and gentlemen, Harry Styles!

As the audience applauds, so a familiar DING DONG, DING DONG!! rings out across the great hall.

Holly: Oh, gotta answer the door! Harry, help yourself to the buffet, but best steer clear of the sour chive dip if I were you.

Holly gets up from the sofa where she was entertaining Harry and trots over to the door. She opens it to reveal fellow TV presenter Alex Jones.

Holly: [sighs] Ah, Alex. Hi. I think I know what you’re going to say.

Alex: I’m sure you do, Holly. Your behaviour’s been bang out of order, as you well know.

Holly: Well what do you want me to do? Festoon the Great House with daffodils?

Alex: Daffodils?

Holly: Or leeks if you prefer. The place already stinks of sour chive – does that count as Welsh?

Alex: I’m sorry, I don’t follow…

Holly: [points a knowing finger] Ah! I know what you want! You want to hear Mr Blobby and his mates performing as a male voice choir!

Alex: Holly, what on earth are you on about?

Holly: Well, I assume you’re incensed by our Anglo-centric gunge vote, you saw Eve come here to fight Scotland’s corner, so now you’ve rocked up to join the scrum for Wales, so to speak.

Alex: Actually, no. That’s not what I’m here about.

Holly: [frowns] So you don’t want to hear Mr Blobby and his mates in a male voice choir?

Alex: No!

Holly: [pulls a phone from her pocket and speaks into it] Sorry, Blobs. The gig’s off.

Alex: It’s these kinds of tacky stunts that are causing the problem – your House Party is racing up the viewer ratings!

Holly: Doesn’t sound like a problem to me!

Alex: Well to me it is! If this trend continues, my One Show will get knocked off the top spot in the light entertainment category!

Holly: [smugly] Again, not a problem for me.

Alex: Holly, you know full well there’s an unspoken agreement that other shows not challenge the One Show’s supremacy! After all, how can it be the One Show if we’re not number one in the ratings?!

Holly: You can always rename it to ‘The Number Two Show’… then people will be forewarned what it is full of!

Audience: Ooohh!!

Alex: Right, that does it! This is war! It’s almost unheard of for the One Show to give a negative review of another programme, but I’ll be making an exception for your House Party! Seven o’clock, Monday – you’ll be sorry!

Alex turns to leave.

Holly: Ooh, I’m quaking! But actually, Alex, don’t go! I can give you some tips to boost your ratings!

Alex: I don’t need your help!

Holly: [shrugs] Okay, if you don’t want to know how the House Party is storming it…

Holly makes to close the door, but Alex pushes back against it.

Alex: Go on then. I’ll humour you.

Holly: [reopens the door] Well think about it. What’s the magic ingredient that my show has and your show doesn’t?

Alex: If you’re trying to palm off Mr Blobby on me, it’s not gonna work.

Holly: No, it’s gunge! Add some gunge to the One Show and your popularity will soar!

Alex: [shakes her head] I’ve never understood the appeal of gunge.

Holly: Neither do I, and I’m something of a pro on the topic! But boy does it have appeal aplenty! Every time I gunge someone, this show’s social media attention goes through the roof! Here, let me show you something…

Holly beckons Alex inside and leads her across the floor of the great hall. The pair of them arrive at the giant sundae glass, inside which Connie and Joanna are wallowing.

Holly: So here’s what we do – we haul a couple of schmucks out of the audience for minor misbehaviour, and we humiliate them by putting them inside a ridiculous prop and pouring stuff on them throughout the show. It’s cheap and easy television!

Alex: [tartly] We don’t go for cheap and easy on the One Show.

Holly: Fair enough. I know just the thing that’ll be to your taste.

Holly leads Alex on a little further.

Holly: I should’ve known that for a middle-of-the-road, play-it-safe, one-size-fits-all show like yours, you’d opt for a classic option. And they don’t come much more classic than this baby!

The pair have arrived at the classic gunge tank. Holly opens the door and gestures Alex to sit inside. The audience cheers when Alex complies.

Holly: Hear that reaction? And there are millions of viewers at home responding in just the same way!

Alex: [fidgeting haughtily on the gunge tank seat] Hmm, it’s quite promising, I must admit. But how do you keep the viewers’ attention?

Holly: Good question! Normally we do something like this!!

Holly bangs the side of the tank and beats her retreat. Alex tenses as the siren goes off and a second later bright orange-yellow gunge falls from the tank’s capacious compartment. Arms out in front of her, Alex grimaces as the gunge envelopes her head and flows onwards down her body. The audience are going wild.

When the compartment has finally emptied, Holly cautiously approaches, struggling to make herself heard over the cheers and whistles of the audience.

Holly: And that… and that reminds me of another Welsh thing – Welsh rarebit! Alex, just listen to that audience! I told you gunge was popular!

Alex: It’s a miracle! I’m getting a gunge tank for the One Show!

Holly: There’s one piece of bad news for you – your gunging has pushed the House Party’s ratings even higher!

Alex: Hey! That’s not fair! Holly, you have to come on the One Show and get gunged in return!

Holly: Ha, no chance! See ya, sucker!

The gunge tank revolves, transporting Alex away as she continues to gesticulate.

Holly: Ladies and gentlemen – Alex Jones!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Intro & Scene Setter

The TV show begins with a snazzy theme tune and neon flashing lights. Amidst all the fanfare, two elegantly dressed women walk sprightly onto the stage, waving to the audience. When they reach the middle, the music dies down and a colourful graphic fills the large overhead TV screen behind them.

Kirsty: “Welcome to sunny Lisbon for our brand new Champions League football themed magazine-style TV show. My name is Kirsty Gallacher….”

Hayley: “….and my name is Hayley McQueen. We will be your hosts for the only show on TV to feature the final stages of Europe’s elite football competition mixed in with lots of pretty ladies getting gunged and sploshed!”

Kirsty: “All the remaining 8 teams in the tournament will be playing their games right here in Lisbon, and Hayley and I will be presenting a total of 5 shows direct from the Portuguese capital. In all, there will be a total of 7 games packed into 12 days! The fixture schedule is shown on the screen”

The brunette points upwards to the overhead TV screen.

Quarter-Finals – Wed 12^th to Sat 15^th

Semi-Finals – Tue 18^th & Wed 19^th

Final – Sun 23^rd

Hayley winks and rubs her hands “And it gives us the perfect opportunity to get some quality sun-bathing time in between the matches and the shows!”

Waving a piece of paper in the air, Kirsty continues “Even better news, well for us anyway, I can also reveal that both Hayley and I will not be getting messy on the shows, as we have a specific clause written into our contracts that forbids that from happening. Wa-hay!”

A chorus of boos emanates from the TV studio audience.

Hayley fist pumps the air “Get in! So we can both relax and enjoy hosting the shows without worrying if a random custard pie will be slapped unexpectedly in our faces!”

Kirsty: “Before we do anything else, let’s see which teams have made it through to the quarter-final stage, and we have some guests to help us with that”

On walked 8 smiling ladies wearing white vest tops, pink shorts, pink neckties, and pink high heel shoes. It transpired they were Portuguese models hired from a local agency.

After receiving a rapturous welcome from the audience, the ladies stood in a line next to each other, and after a prompt from Kirsty they turned around one by one and wiggled their sexy bums at the audience, to reveal that each lady had a team name emblazoned across the back of their shorts:-

Atalanta Paris St-Germain Red Bull Leipzig Atletico Madrid Manchester City Lyon Barcelona Bayern Munich

Once the applause and excitement from the audience died down, it allowed Hayley to speak “Many thanks to our lovely Lisbon models for helping with this segment. You have all done your job superbly, but we just have one more thing for you ladies to do….”

Gesturing with her hands towards a large metal bar-walled structure, Kirsty smiled “Yes, if you can all walk this way please.”

The 8 ladies giggled as they tottered in their heels towards the jail-like structure and each one entered through the open metal barred door before Hayley locked it shut behind them. There was just about enough room for all the ladies to stand upright, and it was evident there was a large compartment on top of the structure. Grasping on to the bars with both hands, a couple of the ladies posed seductively and one even cheekily pulled their tongue out at the camera, suggesting that this part of the show had been pre-planned.

Hayley: “As it’s exceedingly hot today, we were a little concerned for your health and safety, especially as you are all wearing such skimpy outfits.”

Kirsty: “In fact we are so concerned we thought we would help to protect you from the sun……”

At that precise moment, the floor of the overhead compartment gave way, and gallons of thick white slime descended over the 8 ladies. Lots of girly squealing and shouting ensued as the gunge splashed over them and gave them a good coating. Their hair was covered and more squeals were heard as some of the slime made it’s way inside their vest tops.

Hayley put her hand up to her mouth in mock astonishment “Oh dear, it seems our stagehands have used white gunge instead of sun-tan cream!”

Kirsty laughs as she starts to walk towards the audience and steps down from the studio floor and shouts behind her as she goes “Never mind. I’m sure the gunge will give them just as good protection. Haha!”

Revenge is Sweet

The camera follows the busty brunette as she begins to walk down the aisle in between where members of the TV audience are sitting. She stops at a row which has 5 young men sitting, and beams with a wide smile at them.

Kirsty: “Fancy seeing you guys here? Do you want to come with me?”

Gesturing with her forefinger, she beckoned the 5 men to follow her back onto the studio floor, which they duly did. As they walked past the mock jail, they couldn’t help but ogle the slime covered skimpy-attired ladies inside.

Hayley: “Hello again guys. Do you want to tell the viewers at home, who you are and what happened the last time you met me and Kirsty?”

Man 1: “Erm Ok, we are university students and we won a quiz competition for us to appear on the Alternative Euro 2020 shows to help give out the prizes, and the last time we saw you, we gave you and Kirsty your consolation prizes for losing.”

Both Hayley and Kirsty shudder slightly as they recalled their experiences at the hands of 5 male university students.

(Authors Note: If you also want to recall what happened, the link to that story follows:-

https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/05/07/the-alternative-euro-2020-quarter-final-results/

If you don’t have time,  a very quick summary in 10 words follows:- White t-shirts; Handcuffs; Tickling; Super Soakers; Molasses Dunking; Custard Pies)

Kirsty: “You really were very cheeky you guys. Remind me, how old are you all?”

Man 2: “We are aged between 19 and 21 years old!”

Kirsty grins “Blimey, you are all practically half my age! Have you lot never heard the phrase ‘respect your elders’? Tell me, how did you like sploshing two older women?”

Man 3: “To tell you the truth it was super fun, and we especially enjoyed dunking you both in that awful molasses tank and then chasing you off the stage with custard pies in our hands!”

Hayley: “Ugh! Don’t remind me! It was highly embarrassing. It took me ages to get all that molasses out of my hair!”

With a wry smile, Kirsty asked: “Guys, do you also want to explain to the viewers why you are here tonight?”

Man 4: “As part of the prize for winning the quiz, we were given a free holiday to Portugal and tickets to attend all the episodes on the Gunge-Tastic Champions League Show”

Hayley nods but also raises her eyebrows: “That is all correct, but isn’t there something else you are here for?”

Man 5: “Uh, what is that then? I don’t think there is anything else?”

Kirsty: “Are you sure?”

Man 4: “I’m not aware of anything else either”

Kirsty: “I can tell you that you lucky guys are going to get an extra bonus prize! In the next studio to ours, they are about to start filming a brand new series of Chega Mais. Have you heard of the show?”

Man 1: “Yes we have! Isn’t it where male models play a quiz against female models and each loser gets pied, egged, gunged or drenched!”

Kirsty: “That’s correct, and guess what, you lot are going to be the special guests on the show and will represent the boys”

Hayley: “We should point out that the new series is quite a bit racier than normal, and there are no quizzes or games as such, and only members of one team will end up getting messed up by the other. In the show they are about to record tonight, it’s already been agreed that it will be the boys that will get messy, so that means you lot are in for quite a fun time!”

Kirsty: “Oh, and I’ve just been told the Chega Mais girls are here to escort you to their studio.”

On walk 12 Brazilian beauties wearing little black dresses and black high heel shoes.

Hayley: “Ola senhoras!”

In unison, the 12 girls say ‘Ola’ back.

The giggling girls quickly surround the 5 students who seem a bit startled at this unexpected turn of events. They are quickly outnumbered as the girls bustle them off the stage.

Kirsty shouts after them: “Girls, make sure you look after them!”

Hayley joins in: “Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do! Haha!”

One of the Chega Mais girls shouted back “Don’t worry, we’ll be taking very good care of them……NOT!”

Kirsty and Hayley positively beamed to each other as they enjoyed seeing the worried faces of their Alternative Euro 2020 tormentors, as they were whisked off to the Chega Mais studio.

Kirsty winks to the camera: “I’m sure they are going to have a wonderful time!  Over to you Hayley”

Champions League Quiz

Hayley: “Thanks Kirsty. It’s time to announce our Champions League Quiz, where you the viewers can take part.”

Kirsty: “Yes, there are 8 questions for you to answer, each worth 10 points apiece. The overall winner of the quiz will see their nominated lady celebrity get a thorough sploshing on our final show.”

Hayley shudders “And I can tell you, I wouldn’t want to be that unfortunate lady given what is being planned!”

Kirsty: “I can certainly agree with that! As well as the overall winners prize, there will also be spot prizes during the tournament, specifically relating to Questions 5 and 6. The viewers that are the closest to predicting the time of the first goal scored in each of those matches will see their nominated lady celebrity receive a messy prize on the show that immediately follows that particular match”

Hayley: “The questions are set out below, and deadline for entry is by the end of Tuesday 11^th. The maximum number of entries will be set at 20 to make the quiz manageable, so get your entry in quick to potentially avoid any disappointment!”

Challenge Diletta

Hayley: “Yes, we are very pleased to announce that we have Italian sports reporter Diletta Leotta with us throughout the series, and here she is now”

The 28 year old enthusiastically walks on to join Kirsty and Hayley, wearing a typically tight dress showing off her buxom breasts and shapely bum.

Diletta: “Hi both, it’s great to be here in Portugal. I am really looking forward to some extended sunbathing time! Oh yes, almost forgot but the other reason I’m here , is that I will be undertaking a series of challenges in a segment that will be appropriately called ‘Challenge Diletta’ which I ‘think’ I’m looking forward to”

Kirsty: “….and we have the details of your very first challenge here Diletta”

Opening up a sealed envelope, the 44 year old brunette unfolds the enclosed piece of paper and starts reading “This is an easy one! Your first challenge will be undertaken at half-time during the Atalanta v PSG quarter-final match. You will be taking a penalty on the pitch against the reserve Atalanta goalkeeper. All you have to do (ahem) is score and you will win the challenge….”

Hayley: “….but if you miss then you lose and there will be a special forfeit for losing”

Diletta smiles cheekily and crosses her fingers in an exaggerated style “I hope I score!”

Kirsty also smiles as she faces the camera “Let’s see what happens and we will bring you exclusive footage of the challenge and potential forfeit on the episode that follows the quarter-finals”

(Authors Note: The fate of Diletta is in your hands! Which team will progress to the semi-finals – Atalanta or Paris St-Germain? If the majority of respondents are correct, then Diletta loses her challenge and gets a messy forfeit!)

Wrap-Up

Hayley: “That’s about it for today’s first edition of our brand new show. Hope you enjoyed it and remember the deadline to get your quiz entries in is by the end of Tuesday 11^th August. We’ll be back with a short episode on Wednesday 12^th before the first Quarter Final starts, to share all the quiz entries with the viewers.”

Kirsty begins to hurriedly walk off.

Hayley: “Hey Kirsty, why are you in such a hurry?”

Abruptly stopping, Kirsty does an about turn and looks back to her presenter colleague “I’m going to help the Chega Mais girls with their show. Those students are going to really know how it feels to be messy and humiliated!”

Hayley thinks for a couple of seconds before the 40 year old jogs to catch up with Kirsty and produces a pair of scissors from her pocket “Great idea! I’ll come along as well, and I think these will come in very handy!”

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

“Welcome back to Part two of the series finale of Totty” a messy and topless Amber Gill said. “We are here with Amy-Leigh Hickman and Sarah Keith-Lucas” a topless and equally messy Maisie Smith added as a topless and messy Sarah and a naked and messy Amy-Leigh waved to the camera. “It looks like we have got Harpz Kaur and Tulisa back with us along with Rosamund and Thandie and a couple of visitors” a naked and messy Katie Thistleton concluded as the four messy and topless women stood there laughing holding a couple of screaming women.

“We looking around went around TV Centre and got some strong words from these two. So we decided to bring them onto Totty” Rosamund said smiling. “Lets welcome Sophy Ridge and Laura Kuenssberg” Thandie said pushing both ladies forward.

“What you do is demeaning to series strong women like me and Sophy” Laura screamed. “Yes you are setting our cause back 50 years” Sophy raged.

“That is very rude” Thandie said. “Is your outfits BBC and Sky Issue?” Rosamund asked Laura and Sophy. “Yes why” Laura snapped. “That jacket is BBC issue” Thandie said. “Well take it off” Rosamund replied removing Laura’s jacket. “That blouse is BBC issue too” Thandie said. “We’ll take it off” Rosamund chorused with the audience as they removed her blouse. “Sophy’s dress is Sky issue and Laura’s skirt is BBC issue” Thandie said. “Let’s take them both off” Rosamund led the crowd shouting as they removed Laura’s skirt and Sophy’s dress.

Laura was stood there in a sexy matching red underwear and Sophy in matching purple underwear. as the crowd whistled and cheered. “Wow you are a naughty pair of political journalists” Thandie said. “We have been asked to test these as part of a consumer campaign” Sophy pleaded. “I reckon you were going to be naughty together but you can now be naughty with us” Rosamund suggested as the audience cheered.

Just then Emily Blunt walked on in a very sexy orange bikini.

“Never fear Poppins is here, are you prepared to confront my hairy ****” she yelled as the audience cheered whilst Laura and Sophy grimaced. “You’ll be laughing across the other side of your face in a minute Laura” she said. “I think she already does that” Maisie chipped in. “Who do you think you are anyway invading our show?” Amber asked Emily. “I’m Emily Blunt with my hairy ****” she yelled. “Let’s deal with her and those two” Katie said as she pushed on the Tiswas cage. “Is that all you’ve got” Emily replied.

“No it’s not” Maisie said grabbing a giggling Emily by the arm and dragging her towards the custard filled pool Katie and Amy-Leigh had used in the first episode. Amber, Katie, Rosamund and Thandie dragged a screaming Laura and Sophy towards the pool. Maisie and Emily fell into it as Laura and Sophy were chucked into it. Maisie and Emily wrestled in the custard and Maisie came up holding Emily’s bikini top as Emily shoved Maisie’s head into her crotch area. Laura and Sophy emerged covered in custard and screaming as Emily pushed their heads into her bikini crotch too. “How dare you do this to me I’m the BBC Political Editor” Laura yelled as Emily dunked her under the custard. “And I’m a 35 year old woman” Sophy yelled. “Amy-Leigh how old are you?” Katie shouted thinking quickly. “I’m 22 why” Amy-Leigh yelled back.

“Let me think 35 +22 equals” Maisie said thinking aloud. “57 oops what am I like” she added giggling as the deluge of Heinz products hit her, Emily, Laura and Sophy. Emily was roaring with laughter under the deluge as Sophy and Laura were flailing about screaming. “**** the lot of you” Laura screamed. “Yes **** off” Sophy yelled. “I don’t like bad language neither does my hairy ****” Emily replied. She and Maisie pulled Laura and Sophy’s bra tops off and threw them out of the pool. “If we take them off they stay off” they both yelled. They pushed Laura and Sophy to the side of the pool and bundled them out and into the Cage. Emily followed and slammed the door shut behind them.

Katie walked up to the cage and said “Laura’s tits seem to be retaining the centre ground but drooping in the middle. Sophy’s tits swing to the right and left but cannot decide which side to take. Emily’s tits pert and magnificent in fact they are totally Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious”. She then launched several buckets of water of the women. Emily stood at the front of the cage laughing and pulling faces whilst Laura and Sophy cowered at the back.

“Right Sarah Keith-Lucas, it’s you and me on Karaoke singing the Crowded House classic Weather With You now” Maisie said taking a laughing Sarah by the hand. The music started and Sarah sang the first line “Walking ’round the room singing Stormy Weather” as several buckets of water were thrown over the laughing girls. Maisie sang the second line “At Fifty Seven Mount Pleasant Street” and the girls got the full Heinz products deluge as they floundered about topless on the floor trying to stand back up and still sing.

Sarah got to the line “Things ain’t cookin’ in my kitchen” and a load of curry sauce crashed down onto the destroyed girls. Maisie sang the next line “Strange affliction wash over me” and a load of Greek yogurt was hurled over the ladies. Sarah sang “Julius Caesar and the Roman Empire” and they got pasta sauce launched at them. Sarah came to “Well, there’s a small boat made of china” and they got a deluged by soy sauce. When Maisie got to “Or do I sing like a bird released?” a load of fake white bird mess which was a mixture of white glue and fake gunge covered them. Maisie slipped and pulled Sarah’s bikini briefs down to reveal tramlines shaved into a neatly trimmed muff.

Sarah stood there totally naked as everyone gasped at her trendy downstairs cut. Maisie pulled her over into the mess and as they struggled to get up Sarah managed to pull Maisie’s bikini briefs off to reveal her clean shaven muff. Tulisa suddenly walked on to help them finish the songs and at the end they all yelled “The weather will be baked beans and mushy peas” and they got hit by another deluge of those.

“Wow Sarah Keith-Lucas, very urban muff masterpiece there” Maisie said. “I was sponsored £10k to have it done for my favourite charity”. she replied. “Hey Tulisa, she’s raising money for Dappy” Maisie retorted as Tulisa tried not to laugh too much. “I’ve been thinking, it was ironic that song both mentioned 57. Oh dear what am I like” Maisie said to Sarah who was in hysterics knowing what was coming. Another huge deluge of Heinz products crashed down onto the three ladies as Maisie slid into her signature splits.

“Please give it up for Tulisa who I think is in for it tonight. Sarah Keith-Lucas for being an incredible sport and our own Totty sweetheart Maisie Smith. She has taken more gungings than any of us across this series” Katie said as the threesome took a bow. “Okay please welcome the winner of Lizzie Cundy’s Celebrity Coach Dip from The Great British Bake Off the gorgeous Alice Fervonia” Katie continued.

Alice walked on carrying a giant inflatable pineapple. She was wearing a bikini with a thin cotton robe over it. “The top of this pineapple is what I think Emily Blunt’s thingy will look like” she said giggling. Katie took Alice over to The Cage were the topless and gunge covered Emily, Laura and Sophy were. Emily produced a pin from somewhere and burst the inflatable. “Not a patch on the hairy ****” Alice and Emily yelled together as Laura and Soophy were stooped at the back of the Cage trying to cover their modesty. “I was sponsored a grand for charity to say that word. So Emily agreed to come on and do it with me but she ended up in the Cage” Alice said going a bit embarrassed.

“I never thought I’d see Laura Kuenssberg topless stood there in a Cage covered in custard wearing only a pair of sexy panties” Alice said. “It’s my birthday today and we and Sophy were going to take some sexy photos together if you must know” Laura screamed. “You shouldn’t have told them that” Sophy yelled. “We must celebrate that, let’s get Laura out of the Cage” Katie said as she opened the door. Emily pushed a screaming Laura out of the door.

Rosamund and Thandie came on pushing a giant cream cake. “You criticize us for doing this but you and Sophy like to be naughty in secret. That screams of hypocrisy” Rosamund said. Thandie grabbed Laura and threw her headfirst into the giant cake. “Oh hi Alice. Welcome to the show” Rosamund said as she threw the laughing Alice into the cake with Laura who had just emerged from under the cream. Alice went flying into the cake face first and knocked over Laura who was trying to stand back up and rolled around in the cake with her. “That’s just not fair” Sophy yelled from the cage. “Yes me and my hairy **** want to feel the brunt too. Poppins is hardcore. You’ll will never blunt hairy ****” Emily shouted. “It’s unfair on Laura” Sophy screamed as Laura emerged staggering from the cake covered in cream.

“This is what they want” Katie shouted along with Rosamund and Thandie as they rained buckets of water and Greek yogurt over Sophy and Emily whilst the cream covered Alice threw Laura back in the cage. “We’ll be playing a game with Alice in a bit but first let’s see what these two did when they met up with mother and daughter supermodels Cindy Crawford and Kaia Gerber. Let’s just say Kaia wasn’t expecting it” Katie said as she handed over to Rosamund and Thandie.

“We had used our Hollywood contacts and managed to secure Cindy to appear with us. She has always been great fun and when we booked Liz Hurley and Halle Berry they knew her even better and she was totally up for being naughty with us as long as we made a sizable donation to her charity foundation. She wasn’t cheap but she waived her entire fee towards so it would go to her charity” Thandie said “We then spoke to her and the idea of getting Kaia involved was floated to us. Cindy said that Kaia is one of those very entitled millennials who feels so hard done by. She has had a very privileged upbringing whilst Cindy had to graft to achieve her status and Kaia thinks she is a bigger star than Cindy ever was. Cindy mentioned that Kaia would never do anything like this so we agreed to trick her saying it was a fun chat show we did from the beach. Cindy would persuade Kaia to appear and donate her fee to Cindy’s charity foundation too. But the fee was dependent on Kaia remaining until the end if she tried to run off when we began to get her messy and it would forfeit Cindy’s fee too. Along with Cindy we agreed to match the fee donations to the foundation if we could really mess Kaia up” Rosamund said. “So Kaia has to stay and get messy or risk her mum’s foundation missing out on a hefty donation and all the negative press it would generate. Cindy even told us the foods Kaia hates and we’d think she loves them surprisingly enough” Thandie concluded as they handed over to the film clip.

Rosamund was in her usual pink bikini and Thandie was as always topless in her black bikini briefs. “It gives us great pleasure to introduce two of the most beautiful women of their generation. International supermodel Kaia Gerber and probably one of the defining supermodels of her generation her much more famous mother the legendary Cindy Crawford” Rosamund said. Cindy in a maroon and Kaia in a mustard patterned bikini both walked on.

Cindy walked on laughing knowing that Kaia was being set up and over what Rosamund had said. “It was nice to see my greatness recognized wasn’t it Kaia?” Cindy asked. “Why is she topless mum?” Kaia asked Cindy pointing to Thandie’s dusky pert breasts. “Thandie likes to be at one with nature and as a vegan likes to show the positive effects it has on her body. You could try it make those boobs grow a bit more. They are a bit on the small side don’t you think/” Cindy replied pushing Kaia’s petite boobs up playfully. “Mum please stop it” Kaia pleaded. “Maybe we should all go topless?” Rosamund suggested. “I’m up for that” Cindy replied going to undo her bikini top. “Mum no!” Kaia yelled.

“We’ve all been photographed topless or taken much more off on camera or screen?” Thandie asked. “Maybe she is shy or just conscious of having small boobs. Having your mum have a far better pair is every teenagers nightmare I guess” Rosamund added. “I think I’ll keep my top on for now as Kaia is clearly uncomfortable and was a bit of a gawky teenager when she was younger” Cindy added. “I’m here to talk about my aims as a life changing millennial. To display the positive role model I am to other young girls who may have had a mum who was once a fairly famous model. Plus I’ve got my beauty range for emotionally sensitive souls to promote” Kaia said as Cindy rolled her eyes.

“You are at one with nature like I am then?” Thandie asked Kaia. “Yes especially when I can preach to my 5.7 million Instagram followers. Mum only has 4.8 million you know” Kaia responded. “I find natural yogurt is great to use to exfoliate” Rosamund said pulling a cover off a table full of goodies and taking a large tub of it and beginning to rub it over her body. “Excellent idea” Thandie said taking another tub and beginning to rub it liberally over her body. “Here you have a go” Rosamund said handing a tub to Cindy. “Kaia will want to try this too” Cindy replied handing a tub to Kaia.

Cindy began to sensually rub the yogurt into her still fabulous body. Rather gingerly Kaia began to rub some into her stomach. Thandie took a second tub and began to lavishly rub it into her breasts. “I agree it’ll be much better to go topless” Rosamund replied removing her bikini top and taking a second tub of yogurt and rubbing it into her breasts. “I bet that feels lovely on your nipples?” Cindy asked. “Yes lovely and cool, will make them really pert” Thandie replied. “Well, I’m going to try it” Cindy added removing her bikini top to display her still fabulous breasts. “Mum1” Kaia screamed as Cindy took another tub and began to rub it into her breasts.

Rosamund, Thandie and Cindy rubbed the yogurt all over each other’s bodies as Kaia just stood there. “Oh sorry we forgot about you” Rosamund said to Kaia. “I don’t feel comfortable it gives me a negative almost hedonistic vibe” Kaia said. “We are all about inclusiveness on this women centric show” Thandie said. “Maybe this will make you feel more comfortable” Cindy said undoing and removing Kaia’s bikini top. Kaia stood there awkwardly with her small pert boobs on show. “They aren’t that small really are they?” Cindy asked Rosamund and Thandie. “I thought she was going to be really flat chested but she is only slightly. Sadly she didn’t get your genetics there Cindy” Thandie replied.

“This should help” Cindy said grabbing another tub of yogurt and beginning to rub it into Kaia’s breasts. “It might make them a bit more pert” Rosamund added grabbing another tub. “All hands on Kaia’s boobs. The placing of hands on them might give them positivist vibes and make them grow” Thandie added playing her hands on Kaia’s boobs too and beginning to do a mediation chant. Rosamund and Cindy joined in trying not to start laughing and eventually Kaia did too.

“Are you feeling the vibes through tour boobs they almost seem to be blooming?” Rosamund said to Kaia as Cindy turned away to hide her amusement. “Yes it does give me a oneness actually” Kaia replied. “What takes it to the next level is total coverage” Thandie said pulling out a bucket of the yougurt and slowly emptying it over her head and beginning to shampoo it into her curly afro hair. “Actually two buckets are better” Rosamund said taking a second bucket and emptying it over Thandie’s head and leaving the bucket on there. “It’s important to leave the bucket on to achieve inner peace within one’s bucket” Thandie said from under the bucket.

Rosamund took another couple of buckets and handed one to Cindy. In unison they emptied them over their heads own heads and began to shampoo the natural yougurt into their hair as it ran down their amazing bodies. “This is stupid” Kaia said beginning to walk off. “You are breaking our strong mother and daughter sensitivity aura. I’ve never felt as much one with you as I do now” Cindy said “Really mum?” Kaia asked grabbing a bucket and emptying it over her own head and shampooing the yougurt into her hair and rubbing it into her body. “Is your bond getting stronger mum?” she asked as Cindy looked away choking with laughter how Kaia was being set up.

“Right you all need to make your second bucket and empty it over your own head and leave the bucket on it” Thandie shouted from under her bucket. The threesome dutifully took their buckets and emptied them over their own heads leaving the buckets on their heads as the yogurt ran down their bodies. Slowly Thandie removed her bucket and silently tapped Rosamund and Thandie on their bodies and they both removed their buckets and stood their giggling at Kaia stood there under hers.

Cindy quietly fetched her phone and the threesome took a selfie next to Kaia and even mooned her as she stood there. “Are you becoming at one with your bucket Kaia?” Rosamund asked talking into her bucket. “Yes I do feel as if I have a strong sense of tranquility with my bucket” Kaia replied. “I bet you never knew Kaia had such a tranquil bucket?” Thandie added. “She I’m proud of being a mum of someone with a tranquil bucket” Cindy replied biting an her fist to stop laughing.

“And breath” Thandie said putting her bucket back on her head and removing it as the others did likewise so Kaia believed thay had done them same as her. “This is as weird as Scientology” Kaia said as the other three looked at each other trying not to laugh. “Okay my way of proving that a woman can be in control of her destiny is how we will instinctively know whether each other likes something or not” Rosamund said pulling out 4 paddling pools which were all covered. “We stand in front of the pool and fall backwards, if the others feel our vibes that we may hate the contents of the pool. They catch us. If they think we like it they let us fall in to it” Rosamund said. “Let everyone drop in” Thandie whispered to Cindy out of earshot from Kaia.

Rosamund stood with her back to the first pool as Thandie uncovered it. The pool contained baked beans. Cindy, Thandie and Kaia waded into the beans as Rosamund stood with her back to the pool and fell backwards. Thandie and Cindy let Rosamund slip through their hands whilst Kaia was unsure whether to catch her or not. Rosamund fell backwards into the baked beans and rolled over in them laughing. “I love baked beans, give me more” she shouted as Thandie grabbed three buckets and handed one to the other girls. “If someone falls back into their substance they clearly like it and need to be covered with it by the others using their tranquility buckets” Rosamund said as Thandie, Cindy and Kaia began to empty buckets of beans from the pool over Rosamund.

Laughing Rosamund got out of her pool of beans. “You go next Cindy” she said. Cindy stood with her back to the next pool and Thandie pulled the cover off. It contained Maple Syrup. “Mum loves maple syrup” Kaia whispered. “Please don’t influence our thoughts” Rosamund replied. Cindy fell backs and Thandie made a serious effort to catch her but the others let her fall in. Cindy lay there in the maple syrup and the others emptied buckets of it over her. “What people would have paid to have seen this in the 1990’s. Imagine they had OnlyFans then” Cindy said to wind up Kaia who hated OnlyFans.

“You clearly love maple syrup Sticky Cindy” Thandie said as Cindy clambered out of the syrup. “I think you should go next” Cindy replied. Rosamund uncovered the pool and it contained tomato soup. Thandie fell backwards and everyone let her go into the soup and began to empty buckets of it over her. “I love tomato soup, good job it wasn’t oxtail as I’m a Vegan” she said laughing as she wiped the soup out of her eyes.

“Okay my turn, I really hope it’s something I like such as banana splits with caramel plantains” Kaia said. “No you cannot influence our choice. We must cleanse your head and as such your mind” Rosamund said thinking on her feet. “Right everyone get a bucket from your own pool” she added. “We must immerse Kaia’s head into each to make her thought pattern pure again” Thandie said as Cindy tried not to laugh. The girls turned Kaia upside down and dunked her head into the bucket of baked beans several times. Then carried her over to the bucket of maple syrup and did likewise. Finally to the bucket of tomato soup after her head was dunked into it several times before Rosamund and Thandie spun her back the right way up and left the bucket on her head. “Regain your tranquility with your bucket” Thandie said and they left her there for 5 minutes before asking her to remove the bucket.

“Are you at one now Kaia?” Cindy asked. “Yes I regained by bucket tranquility” Kaia replied as everyone tried not to laugh. Kaia stood with her back to her pool and Rosamund uncovered it. The pool contained cold lumpy porridge which Kaia hated. She closed her eyes and fell back splat into it and opening them began to scream as Rosamund, Thandie and Cindy emptied buckets of porridge onto her head. “Mum you know I hate porridge” she yelled. “Quick empty her out of the pool” Thandie yelled and they tipped the pool over and Kaia out of it but landed the pool on top of Kaia.

There was more screaming from under the pool as Kaia’s arms then feet emerged. “She looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle” Rosamund said as everyone roared with laughter. “I’m leaving, you are laughing at me” Kaia screamed. “Look Darling, my foundation money please stay. I didn’t mean to laugh but you looked funny” Cindy pleaded. “I’m sorry I joked but you reminded me of a turtle as I love their tranquility” Rosamund added. “You displayed your aura that was all” Thandie said.

“I’m sorry mum, can I have another go?” Kaia asked. “Of course” Rosamund replied having planned all this in consultation with Cindy. Rosamund dragged out the extra pool and Kaia stood with her back to it. This of course contained banana splits with caramel plantains all mashed up. Kaia fell back into it and the others let her go straight in. They started emptying buckets of it over Kaia who seemed overjoyed. “It worked” she screamed with joy.

“Right to finish off we discover who hasn’t got the right aura to move forward with my dive into femininity and feminism” Thandie said. “Yes I’m a very strong feminist and a role model for other privileged teenagers” Kaia shot back. Rosamund placed four chairs at equal distances apart and Thandie placed a cherry cream pie on each chair. “We sit on these and if anyone’s aura is untrue we will soon know and they will be repelled” Rosamund said pointing to a big table full of other cherry cream pies and jugs of custard. “We need to be at nature for this” Thandie said removing her bikini bottoms to display her neatly trimmed muff. Rosamund did likewise to reveal a clean shaven muff. Cindy immediately did the same to reveal she had the stars and stripes dyed into her muff. “Mum!” Kaia screamed. “I had it done for my foundation as someone sponsored me” Cindy retorted. “I’m not comfortable doing this” Kaia pleaded. “I wonder if it is a hairy one?” Rosamund whispered to Cindy who nearly corpsed. Kaia slowly dropped her bikini briefs and revealed a stars and stripes dyed muff too. “No wonder you moaned at me Kaia Gerber!” Cindy yelled.

“I had this done for fashion. What are the chances of us both having it done” Kaia pleaded. “Nice bums everyone by the way” Cindy said. “Cheers yours looks amazing still” Rosamund replied as Cindy wiggled her bum sexily to wind up Kaia more. “Okay on the count of three everyone sit on their cakes” Rosamund said. “1,2.3” Thandie said and they all sat down Kaia’s cake which was rigged made a large splatting sound. “I didn’t do anything” Kaia pleaded. “She is the one” Thandie yelled. “She must be vanquished” Rosamund screamed as they grabbed the pies and custard from the table and began destroying a screaming Kaia with it as Cindy joined in. “Make them stop please mum” Kaia screamed as she disappeared under a deluge of cherry cream pies and custard. “This is ridiculous” she yelled as the last of the deluge covered her.

“Yes it is, you’ve covered yourself in yogurt, fallen backwards into porridge and banana splits, sat in a cake and with a bucket on your head for 20 minutes. Got You” Cindy yelled. “No” Kaia screamed. “We planned all this with Cindy and she knew exactly what we were going to do. Being at one with your bucket. Come on Kaia” Rosamund said. “No, No, No” Kaia screamed storming off in a rage.

“Tell me how did the stars and striped dye job come about?” Thandie asked. “Well madam decided to get it done by our hair stylist but she let me know about it as she thought it was extreme. So I got her to do the same on me to wind Kaia up” Cindy replied. “I hate you” Kaia screamed running back on and throwing any mush she could pick up at the three laughing women. “The fee thing was a set up too, you could have walked off at any time and it wouldn’t have made any difference” Cindy said. “But why mum, why?” Kaia yelled. “Rosamund and Thandie do this stuff as a laugh with a lot of our female friends and approached me to appear so we hatched a plan to have a bit of fun with you” Cindy said. “Not funny mum, not funny” Kaia retorted storming off as the film ended.

“Kaia is just about talking to Cindy now. She has watched it back from behind a cushion and doesn’t like it but did admit she had been well and truly had. Plus she did donate her fee as agreed to Cindy’s charity foundation. So lets give it up for the ever gorgeous Cindy Crawford and please forgive us Kaia Gerber” Rosamund said.

“Hilarious as always lets here it for Raunchy Roz and Randy Thandie. The delinquent duo who should know better by now” Amber said as Rosamund and Thandie departed. “Join us in part 3 after the weather not presented by Tulisa or Sarah Keith-Lucas, I may add. When we will have Alice Fervonia playing a game that will take you to the moon and back” Katie said. “Plus I’ll be joined by Fallon Sherrock, Becky Adlington, and Laura Carmichael to find out who has nose bragging rights in a contest judged by Tiswas legend John Gorman” Maisie added.

“Plus we still have our special guest Louise Redknapp, we’ll be deciding what to do with Laura and Sophy. Rosamund and Thandie have their waxing challenge and the Totty Torture Wheel sudden death match up both featuring among others Emily Blunt with her hairy ****” the three girls yelled together concluding that part.

Sorry this took a bit longer than I planned to sort out and thanks for all the suggestions for reluctant gungees. Hope you liked the choice I made. Other names have been noted and I’ll try to use those I haven’t featured in any stories in some future ones I write.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

This follows on from :- https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/05/carry-on-caprice-episode-5-the-set-up/

Caprice opened the door of her Ibiza Villa in skimpy knickers and a t-shirt to be greeted by the Producer of Carry On Caprice and the show’s house band Four of Diamonds. She screamed and closed the door. “Perfect that is the opening shot” the Producer said smiling to the hidden film crew. Slowly Caprice opened the door slightly and peeped around it. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “We’ve come to film episode 5 of the show and decided to surprise you here” Lauren from the band said winking at Caprice assuming that Caprice had indicated in the show’s conference call she had suggested this.

“Anyway we have bought you a present I’m sure you will like it” Yasmin said handing a big box to Caprice who took it and closed the door behind her.

“Perfect she gave us a great shot of that amazing bum of hers. She was so clearly expecting us” the Producer said. “That is our opening sequence wrapped” he added. Caprice retreated inside her villa. “They come and find me over here, am I not safe from more humiliation even in another country” she muttered. Her sons had seen the crew outside and recognized them from the show. “Messy mummy” they shouted as they loved to see Caprice get covered in all the mess each week. Slowly Caprice opened the box. She thought maybe it is something nice but she screamed when she saw it. The girls had sent her the head of a Sturgeon Fish! with a note saying “You love having a fish stuck between your bum cheeks and just knew you wanted to try one of these. Love Four of Diamonds!”. She screamed and slammed the head back in the box as the girl group walked in. Her sons had let them into her villa.

“I see you are having fun with Nicola already” Sophia said. “Nicola the Sturgeon. I don’t get it” Caprice replied. “You are so funny” Caroline replied. “Also there is no way that fish is going up my bum” Caprice snorted. “Okay we have been asked to run through the show with you. The producer wants to go for a summer vibe so swimsuits and bikinis if possible” Yasmin said. “Right my monologue, me with Melanie Sykes, something about her being 50 or her Boddington’s advert. I could have had that gig if I’d wanted to. Then your song, me with Lucy Very Smarmy. Break then me on phone to my PA, you can film actual call, me singing If You’ve Got It Flaunt It from The Producers, good song choice for me girls. I taught you well. I’ll even give you the end number and it can show me and Becky Vardy sunbathing to end the show. Becky likes being gunged as much as I do and you all know how much I hate it. Now please leave me to get ready. Shoo, Shoo” Caprice said pointing to the door for the girls.

The girls reported back to the Producer. “She is in great form, clearly up for having the Sturgeon’s head between her bum cheeks. Even played dumb when we called it Nicola. Plus Becky Vardy must be up for a good gunging so we can really go to town with them for the finale” Sophia said. “She has even given us the closing song. We can do Vacation by The Go Gos” Caroline added.

Caprice eventually emerged into the yard of her villa and took a laid on car to the local hotel where she had been told the episode would be filmed. She had put on her Gucci headband and a cut away multicoloured swimsuit. She heard a voice she knew “Alright chuck, aren’t you a bit old to go raving!” it was Melanie Sykes in a stunning skimpy pink bikini.

“This is one of my own designs that I will be wearing on my show” she responded. “Oh I’ll have to keep my mouth shut” Melanie replied laughing. Caprice took her place by the pool and clapped her hands. “I’m ready to film” she shouted as she was met by a lot of stunned faces before some children ran up behind her and pushed her into the pool. She emerged from under the water looking like a drowned rat and screaming. “That was pure luck” the Producer yelled. “She was at the wrong end of the pool ” but clearly did that deliberately and had tipped the kids the wink to push her in. “Do you want a hand out chuck” Melanie said offering her hand to Caprice who pulled her into the pool before storming out of the water. Melanie emerged from under the water it glistening off her dark skin. She looked up at Four of Diamonds and said “You told me that she was feisty and up for fun and you are right”she said.

“I want you to do your opening monologue wet and then go straight into the sketch with Melanie. We’ve got your cue cards just read from them. It was brilliant how you went to the wrong end of the pool deliberately” the Producer told Caprice who was still in shock about going into the pool. She removed her headband and rang her hair out. “I cannot do it like this” she shouted. “Oh come you look beautiful all wet and glistening” Sophia from Four of Diamonds said. “Okay then” Caprice replied.

She did her monologue off the cue cards and moved onto where Melanie was stood by the side of the pool. “By eck chuck I turned 50 this week. I need a pint of Boddingtons” Melanie said. “Have a cake to celebrate” Caprice said picking up a big cream cake and smashing it into Melanie’s face. “You love to mess people up don’t you” Melanie replied laughing. “Yes but I hate getting messed up” Caprice replied. “Here have some Boddingtons” Caprice added emptying two pints of beer over Melaine’s head and then picking up another one and tipping it over Melanie’s head.

But this was actually a pint of treacle and Caprice slowly emptied it over a screaming Melanie’s head. “You have to celebrate being 50. Lets put some topping on it” Caprice said picking up a trifle and sticking it smack on Melanie’s head. Melanie picked up another gimmicked pint of Boddingtons and scraped the cream off the top sticking it in Caprice’s face. “Why did you take the top off?” Caprice muttered. “Great idea” Melanie replied pulling her bikini top off to reveal her enhanced boobs. “Having them done was the best thing I ever did” she said. “Let’s see yours” she added pulling Caprice’s boobs out of her costume. “A bit pale but not bad for your age” Melanie said as she emptied a pint of treacle of Caprice’s head. “I’m in my 40’s if you don’t mind” Caprice yelled and the treacle ran down her long blonde air and over her face. “Come on you are 50 next year, we all know that. I bet you’ll have a big cake like this” Melanie said pushing a cake in Caprice’s face. “No you’d have a bigger one or two as you American’s don’t do things by halves” Melanie said giving Caprice a double cake sandwich before sticking a trifle smack on Caprice’s head. “Bring on the band” Caprice screamed pushing Melanie into the pool but losing her footing and falling in again herself.

Screaming Caprice emerged from under the water and stormed out of the pool as Melanie laughing swam to the side of the pool and put her bikini top back on. “Your tits chuck” she yelled to Caprice who was walking off into the distance with her boobs still out. “She is so funny and sends herself up so well, plus doing that comedy fall into the pool after she introduced the girls and no doubt walked off with her boobs on view just to take things further” Melanie said to the Producer as she climbed out of the water.

Four of Diamonds filmed their number by the pool and after over an hour Caprice finally re-emerged. She had washed and dried her hair and was in a stunning powder blue bikini. She saw Lucy Verasamy who was in a mismatched bikini. Lucy was going to be in the next sketch with her and Caprice glanced across at the cue cards. Caprice could see it was written she was playing Lucy’s PA and would get messy. “I’m not getting messy twice Darling” she told the Producer. “Lucy, Darling, we’ll swap roles okay?” she snapped. “Fine with me” Lucy replied. “I can see how you say she is so giving she will take the bigger revenge gunging at the end and already knows she’ll get messed up 3vtimes today when you film the sketch with Becky Vardy” Lucy said to the Producer.

Caprice sat down by the pool on a sun lounger and read out “I’m Lucy Very Smary and here is my PA also called Lucy”. Lucy walked on carrying a tray of cream pies. “As we are both in our 40’s now I thought we’d have a cream tea. Please hand me a cake?” Caprice said. Lucy handed her a cake and Caprice looked at it and slammed it in Lucy’s face. “Not good enough” she said. She took another cream pie and sniffed it and slammed it into Lucy’s face. Standing up Caprice looked at the other two pies on the tray and said “These will be no good either” and gave Lucy a double pie sandwich on her face and hair. “Bring me lots of cream Lucy” she said. Lucy walked off and returned carrying two buckets of cream. Caprice stuck her finger in one and said “It’s sour” before picking it up and emptying it over Lucy’s head. Caprice took the second bucket of cream and tasted it saying “Too sweet” and stuck the bucket on Lucy’s head and left it there. The cream ran down Lucy’s body and Caprice pushed her into the pool. “Bring me my toffee and ice cream” she shouted as Lucy climbed out of the pool. Lucy returned pushing a trolley containing two buckets of ice cream and two of toffee. “I think it will be good for sunbathing topless, Lucy remove your top I want to make sure my nipples won’t get sun burnt” Caprice said. Lucy removed her bikini top trying not to laugh and revealed her small pert breasts.

“Lucy you do as I say empty the ice cream over your head and rub it into your boobs” Caprice ordered. Lucy picked up the bucket and emptied the cold semi melted ice cream over her head. She shuddered as the cold semi melted ice cream ran over her hair face and boobs. She rubbed it into her boobs. “Lucy pour the toffee over your head” Caprice said. Lucy picked up the bucket of toffee and held it over her head as it slowly ran out of the bucket and gave her a complete covering. “Lucy empty the second bucket of ice cream over your head” Caprice commanded. Lucy dutifully did so. “Lucy you look like an Ice Cream Sundae and by the way you’re fired. But before you go pass me the last bucket of toffee” Caprice said snapping her fingers. “My pleasure” Lucy said dumping the bucket of toffee onto Caprice’s head and grabbing some duct tape and taping Caprice to the lounger.

Caprice was screaming with the bucket on her head. Lucy looked at the cue cards. It said PA gets revenge insult her how you like. Lucy pulled Caprice’s bikini top off and said “Your tits look pale but at nearly 50 I can accept that.You need a healthy breakfast like I have”. She ran off and returned pushing a trolley with two buckets of baked beans and two of porridge on them. She removed the bucket from Caprice’s toffee covered head and threw the first bucket of baked beans right in her face. Caprice was screaming the beans ran down her hair face and over her boobs. She emptied the next bucket of baked beans slowly other Caprice’s head reveling in it as Caprice screamed and struggled. She picked up the first bucket of porridge and only emptied it over Caprice’s head relishing as Caprice squirmed and screamed. She stuck the second bucket of porridge on Caprice’s head and admired her work.

“You probably do need some cream well lots of cream on those pale tits” Lucy said and disappeared but returned pushing a portable cement mixer. She removed the bucket from Caprice’s head and emptied a cement mixer full of cold cream yogurt over Caprice’s body making her a white lumpy mess. Caprice tried to struggle up and broke the tape. “The pool” she yelled meaning she wanted to go into the water to get cleaned off. Lucy ran off and dragged on a paddling pool full of fish guts and pushed Caprice face first into it. Lucy picked up a used bucket and emptied loads of fish guts from the pool onto Caprice who was floundering about. Caprice tried to get up but slipped and the back of her bikini briefs came down exposing her bum cleavage

Lauren from Four of Diamonds ran on and gave Lucy the Sturgeon head and pulling down Caprice’s briefs further they stuffed the fish head between Caprice’s bum cheeks. Caprice screamed and staggered up out of the pool of fish guts but fell back onto the lounger sitting on the fish head and squashing it into her bum. She jumped up and ran off with her bum still exposed and the squashed fish head on display.

“That was amazing. Thanks so much Lucy” the Producer said. “No you must thank Caprice, she volunteered for the bigger gunging and even told me to use the pool of fish guts. Plus she exposed her bum to allow the fish head joke to work” Lucy replied. “Yes how she fell back onto that fish head and squashed it deliberately and then walked off with her bum still on display. She is so self deprecating” Yasmin from the band added.”Great stuff and we’ve got something even more spectacular for her and Becky Vardy on a yacht this afternoon” the Producer concluded.

Caprice had ran to her room in the hotel and after fishing bits of fish out of her bum crack for 30 minutes called Becky Vardy. “Hi Becky, you’ll never guess what they have done to me this morning. At least when I see you later on. They cannot do anything to us as I’ve told them how much you hate getting messy” Caprice said. “Don’t worry, Jamie has arranged to have the children and has chartered a yacht for us to use. Once the filming is over and the band have performed we can chill out and relax” Becky replied.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and a sexual nature.

“Welcome to the final episode in my naughty little series. I hope you all had as much fun watching last week’s episode with Maime McCoy as we did filming it. Yet again I ended up out of my little white panties. I’m going to auction off all the pairs I’ve worn on this series for charity once they have been washed and I’ve signed them. I’ve got a feeling that my cute little bahookie will make another appearance today. As you can see I’ve already got my little growler out. My guest today is the very cheeky and incredibly sexy Luisa Zissman. If you looked up MILF in the dictionary I’ reckon you’d see a photo of Luisa’s doe eyes looking out seductively at us.” Storm said smiling at the camera holding her pet dog whilst dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.

“I’ve had a lot of requests to wear my cute little white socks you naughty boys. So I thought I’d give you a wee treat as it is the last show of the series. Also as always am I wearing my little white panties but that is for me to know and you to find out? Anyway lets welcome the mischievous Luisa Zissman ” Storm said.

Luisa walked on wearing only a black bra and matching thong. Storm looked shocked as Luisa gave her a sexy kiss on the lips. “I see you are taking off Dorothy. I wonder what I will take off?” Luisa said teasingly. “What are you going to make?” Storm asked. “Well I was going to do cup cakes as I fill my cups very well” Luisa said pushing her boobs up. “But as you’ve done cakes over the last couple of weeks. I’ll leave it to you and be your blank canvas” Luisa said laughing as she climbed onto the work surface and lay down on her back.

“I bet you are used to this being flat on your back” Storm replied as Luisa lay there laughing. “Okay lets assume that the lovely Luisa is a cake tin” Storm said taking a slab of melting butter and beginning rubbing it into Luisa’s taunt olive skinned stomach and onto her arms and legs. Storm took a lump of the butter and stuck some down the front of Luisa’s thong and then another two lumps were put inside her bra. Storm took another slap of butter and rubbed it into Luisa’s face and hair. She then took a saucepan of melted butter and emptied it down Luisa’s body. She turned Luisa over onto her stomach and pulled down her thong to expose her bum. Storm rubbed the butter between her hands and began to rub it into Luisa’s bum cheeks as Luisa squealed with laughter.

“That has gone really deep but I like it” Luisa said kicking her legs up in the air in glee. Storm rubbed the butter up and down Luisa’s legs and over her back. She then took a bucket of melted butter and emptied it all over the back of Luisa drenching her hair.
Luisa rolled back over smiling as always. “You are Greek heritage aren’t you?” Storm asked. “Yes why?” Luisa responded. “You must have used this then?” Storm replied picking up a bucket of cold Greek Yogurt and dumping it on Luisa’s stomach. Luisa screamed in shock as Storm picked up another bucket and dumped it on Luisa’s face and hair. “Sit up please” Storm said and Luisa sat up giggling and Storm emptied a final bucket of Greek Yogurt over Luisa’s head.

Storm lavishly rubbed the white lumpy yogurt into Luisa’s hair and body. “Tomato sauce is also very popular in Greek Cuisine so why not have some” Storm said as she emptied a bucket of homemade tomato sauce over Luisa’s head. Luisa stood there totally destroyed with the sauce dripping off her. She turned around and wiggled her exposed bum to the camera as Storm dumped a second bucket of tomato sauce on Luisa’s head leaving the bucket on her head. Luisa slowly removed the bucket from her head and wiped her eyes clear.

“Storm can you fetch me a cake from the oven please?” Luisa asked. Storm walked over to the set oven and pulled it open. However Luisa sneaked up behind her and pushed the door back up with Storm bunt over and her upper half stuck inside the oven. Luisa giggling lifted the top off what was a gimmicked oven and smiled down at a screaming Storm who knew she had been set up,. “We’re not in Kansas anymore” Luisa said. “I’m going to give you a lovely Scottish Breakfast” she added picking up a bucket of porridge and emptying it over Storm’s head. Storm screamed as the porridge ran down her lush black locks. Luisa picked up another bucket of porridge and lifted up Storm’s skirt to expose her white panties. She emptied half the bucket of porridge over Storm’s panties and down her legs. She then emptied the rest of the bucket inside Storm’s white panties and pulled them up into a wedgie as all the porridge oozed out. .

“Did you enjoy that?” Luisa asked. “Very nice” Storm replied laughing. “Here have some whisked eggs” Luisa said emptying a jug of the eggs over Storm’s head and then another down her panties. Storm was squealing with glee as the eggs ran slowly down her leg. Luisa held open Storm’s socks to ensure some of the eggs ran inside them. Luisa’s then picked up a bucket of baked beans and emptied them over Storm’s head. “Please don’t put them down my panties” Storm screamed. “What a great idea” Luisa replied pulling Storm’s panties down to expose her sexy white bum. Luisa slowly emptied the second bucket of beans over Storm’s naked bum and pushed them in between her butt cheeks as Storm cried with laughter from within the the oven.

Luisa rubbed her own bare bum against Storm’s very suggestively. She then dragged on a large plastic basket full of thick cream and released Storm from the oven pushing her backwards into the basket. Storm disappeared under the cream with her legs in the air. As Storm emerged gasping from under the cream Luisa fixed a hook to the basket’s handles and Storm was hoisted high up into the air screaming with fright. “I hate you all” she yelled as the basket was moved over a giant pink cream cupcake and she was dunked into it.

“There have been 6 episodes so give her six of the best” Luisa yelled as Storm emerged covered in pink cream gasping for air. She was raised back up and dunked into the cream cupcake again and again. Totally covered after her third dunking she emerged wiping her eyes as Luisa looked on laughing. Storm went into the cream cup cake for the forth time but as she emerged she reached out from the basket and pulled Luisa who still had the back of her thong down flashing her bum headfirst into the cream. Storm went into the cream for the fifth time back as she emerged she was holding Luisa who was hoisted into the air with her bum on view and her legs dangling. But Luisa’s weight caused the basket to lurch to one side and Storm fell out of it screaming and pulling an also screaming Luisa crashing down into the giant cream cake.

After a few seconds there was giggling from under the cream and a pair of panties and a thong came flying out of the pink cream. Both ladies emerged from under the pink cream totally covered and wiped their eyes. Luisa threw her bra top off and launched her naked body at Storm and both disappeared beneath the cream yet again. Storm finally crawled to the side of the cake and shouted “Luisa Zissman you are one crazy lady and that was one hell of a stunt to pull on me. But this has been an amazing series until next time” she said as Luisa pulled her back into the cream one final time.

Hope you liked this little series. I came up with the couple of tricks played on Storm just by chance. I think this story thread has run it’s course as it is a bit limiting in what I can do with it so I’m not planning another series unless any of you really want one and come up with new guest suggestions for me to use.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. Non-celebrity characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. May contain disturbing nineties flashbacks.

Holly: Welcome to Crinkley Bottom’s local fish and chip shop, which I hasten to stress is called the Bottom Grouper − pity the village sign-maker can’t spell. Anyway, from the coast of Cornwall to the wilds of Northumberland, the humble English chippy unities the taste buds of the nation, yet still divides in its geographical differences. And it is for that reason that tonight’s Trip Around the Great House will be passing through here, with some regional specialities of the losing side being served up – bit of a preview there! But who are those losers likely to be? Voting has continued apace and I can reveal that the latest scores are as follows…

More exclamations from the audience and widely varying reactions from the candidates.

Holly: Ooh! Now that has narrowed slightly, but only very slightly! Just look at the faces of the northern lasses! Too much vinegar on your chips, Tina?

Tina: [struggles to speak] …I’m genuinely stunned.

Vicky: I’m not! It’s all very typical of the biassed soft-southern media! Where is it you’re from, Holly man? Brighton, ey?

Holly: I don’t see what that has to do with anything.

Vicky: Is Alex Jones still around? We should defect to the One Show! At least she’s Welsh!

Holly: [sharply] You’re going nowhere! And accusing the host of bias just because you’re doing badly isn’t a good look!

Tina: [hurriedly] Vicky’s just showing her northern passion, Holly. But I agree with her that we’re always the underdogs, and I do believe we’ll pull though in the end.

Holly: Oh really? Well that’s not the sense I’m getting from the other end of the counter, because there’s one word that describes the expression on Shona’s face, and that is smug!

Sam: Aww, never mind, Shona! We’re a bit behind but we can still catch up!

Shona: [alarmed] No!! We don’t want to catch up!

Holly: Sam, do you actually understand what tonight is all about?

Sam: It’s to do wiv promo’ing my fashion label. The producer told me to bring a change of clovves and said somefink about a dressy coat.

Holly: No, it’s a messy vote! And you need the change of clothes because you might get covered in gunge!

Sam: [recoils] Caw blimey!! I don’t want that!

Holly: Well as things stand you won’t be getting it, because there’s a very big margin. Shona, is this down to your Cockney craftiness, or just a lit’le bit of bloomin’ luck?

Shona: [smarmily] It’s just our all-round brilliance, Holly. [Gestures her figure and speaks pointedly to the northerners] Home and dry, home and dry!

Holly: Ooh, no modesty there, is there? Well, the polls are open for a bit longer, so there’s still time to have your say. Ladies, I have to leave you for a bit – enjoy the cuisine, but don’t get too battered!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature.

This story follows on from :- https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/10/carry-on-caprice-episode-5-the-recording-part-1-from-ibiza/

Caprice refused to leave her hotel room until she had it in writing that nothing marine would be stuck between her bum cheeks during the rest of the series. “I guess she knows when a joke has run it’s course” the show’s Producer said as he pushed the document under the hotel room door. Finally Caprice re-emerged after an hour having changed into another bikini similar to the one she had worn in part 1 when getting messy with Lucy Verasamy. She seemed rather quiet and subdued as she was totally fed up with keep getting messy and everyone thinking she loved it.

“Are you okay Caprice?” Lauren of her show band Four of Diamonds asked. “I’ve just had enough of it all, keep getting messy up, the same thing every time” Caprice replied. “I know how you feel as a performer you want to protect your artistic integrity” Sophia from the band added. “Exactly are we on the same page finally. I never want to be gunged once let alone twice in one day. Becky Vardy feels the same way as me as regards getting messy” Caprice replied. “I love your integrity and to think you are humble enough to stand there and wash your bikini in the hotel wash hand basin” Yasmin from the band suggested. “I didn’t wash it out, this is a fresh bikini” Caprice snapped and stormed off.

“She is almost too harsh on herself, refusing to overdo the fish joke and wanting it in writing. Demanding to be gunged at least 3 times in the day and getting Becky to be game for it too.” Caroline from the group suggested. “Just wait until she finds out we’ve got her involved in the sketch with Kelly Brook and Cesca Cumani for next week. I hope Cesca has something spectacular in mind. That gives me an idea for Caprice and Becky I’m sure they will love it” Lauren said and went to speak to the Producer.

Caprice, the band and the crew boarded the yacht which had been chartered for them to use with Becky Vardy for the second half of the show. Caprice seemed much happier and even decided to change her bikini as she was in such a good mood.

Caprice introduced the band to Becky. “I’ve done very well for myself as you can see” Becky said to the girls. “Yes someone your age marrying a much younger guy is good” Yasmin replied laughing. “I fail to see what is funny. I did the Jungle too” Becky replied. “Same self deprecating side as Caprice. She washes her knickers out in the sink when she wears any” Caroline said joking “I do not” Caprice yelled. “Yes we know that, you never wear any knickers” Becky replied as everyone laughed and Caprice went quiet.

Finally Caprice was ready to do her monologue fake call to her PA which she read from cue cards and included references to the fish and her washing her smalls in a hotel basin. “Great stuff” the Producer said as Caprice replied ” I just don’t see how it is funny”. But anyway she performed her song “When You’ve Got It, Flaunt It” from The Producers whilst she and Becky danced about. Caprice clicked her fingers and ordered Sophia to fetch her a new bottle of wine. Sophia laughing did so and Becky then demanded more ice for her water which Yasmin fetched her. “We like to ensure everyone knows their place and we know ours” Caprice said as she and Becky settled down on sun loungers.

“I think I’ll get some sun on my magnificent breasts” Caprice said as she removed her bikini top to reveal her milky white breasts “The last time they saw any sun you were in your 30’s” Lauren joked as Caprice looked on in shock. “Check these out” Becky said removing her bikini top to reveal her enhanced breasts. “What do you think?” she asked. “Jamie likes them” she added. “Well he paid for them” Caroline replied. Rather in shock Caprice and Becky lay back on their sun loungers and shared their bottle of wine.

Four of Diamonds started performing the closing number of the show Vacation by The Go-Gos as Caprice and Becky lay there in the sun feeling smug with themselves. “Plenty of shots of us Darling” Caprice shouted to the Producer who smiled and nodded. Suddenly Caprice and Becky were hit with a deluge of mud and sludge from a nearby dredger which had a smiling Jamie Vardy stood on it’s deck. Caprice and Becky were both screaming as they were knocked off their sun loungers under the onslaught. Caprice and Becky floundered about on the deck as they were turned into two dark muddy messes and slid across the surface trying to get up. Caprice finally made it to the railings and grabbed hold of a life buoy and threw it to Becky but as Becky tried to use it to pull herself up she pulled Caprice back across the deck and the two were in a heap as their muddy shower finally finished.

Caprice and Becky struggled to their feet screaming their heads off and looked up to a laughing Four of Diamonds who had finished their song. “How can we end a show like this?” Caprice screamed wiping her eyes. “Was that supposed to be funny” Becky yelled. “Well this is even better courtesy of a Spanish Bull Breeding Program” Sophia shouted as the band each emptied a bucket of sticky cloudy substance over Caprice and Becky. “What is that?” Caprice yelled. “Bull Semen” Lauren replied. Caprice started screaming louder than ever and went to dive into the sea but Becky tried to stop her and succeeded in pulling down Caprice’s bikini briefs as Caprice dangled over the side of the yacht. Becky reached over to grab her but Caprice pulled them both into the water.

The parting shot of the show was Caprice and Becky being towed back to shore by the yacht holding onto a life buoy. “I’m not getting back on the yacht” Caprice screamed. “What have you done to me. I thought you told them that I hated gungings as much you do” Becky yelled. “I did, I did honestly” Caprice replied as the girls got one more blast of mud from the dredger hose from a laughing Jamie.

“How she fell into the water and pulled Becky in and now wants to be towed back to shore. Pure Genius. Plus demanding the ending wasn’t good enough so it was lucky you got that Bull Semen” the Producer concluded as he and Four of Diamonds raised a glass of wine to the screaming Caprice and Becky.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Glitzy music filled the television studio as a familiar graphic was displayed on the large overhead TV screen as the camera panned around to show two glamorous ladies sitting behind a desk.

Kirsty: “Hello, my name is Kirsty Gallacher….”

Hayley: “….and my name is Hayley McQueen. Welcome to the second episode of the our new football themed magazine-style TV show, being broadcast direct from sunny Lisbon”

Kirsty and Hayley’s Champions League Quiz

Kirsty: “Today, we’ll be updating everyone about our Champions League Quiz. The deadline for entries has now closed and with the Quarter-Finals beginning later this evening, we thought we would share all the entries that have been made”

Hayley: “We had a total of 20 entries, and thank you to all that have entered. We have a variety of lady celebrities who have been nominated by the viewers.”

Kirsty: “The list contains 7 actresses, 5 sports reporters, 3 singers, 2 models, a diver, a wrestler and a cricketer!”

Hayley: “It’s particularly pleasing to see 5 of our sports reporters colleagues be able to take part in the quiz. I’m not sure Natalie Sawyer or Vicky Gomersall will be thanking their respective nominators as they, like us, have appeared in many of these types of shows before!”

Kirsty: “Indeed Hayley. I had a text from Natalie when she found out, and it was full of expletives!”

Hayley: “Oh dear, filthy language from our esteemed colleague, but the question is will she will be getting filthy on our show? That will depend on how successful her nominator is in the quiz.”

Kirsty: “The other 3 sports reporters to be nominated were Emma Paton, Katie Nolan and Seema Jaswal”

Hayley: “We also have 7 actresses who will be playing, including the GGP winner Scarlett Johansson.”

Kirsty: “Yes, we should feel very honoured! Other actresses include Anna Kendrick, Games of Thrones duo Sophie Turner and Rose Leslie, Sarah Hyland, Rachel Weisz, and Gal Gadot”

Hayley: “The music world is represented by Jade Thirlwell, Hailee Steinfeld and Mabel”

Kirsty: “Models Kelly Brook and Miranda Kerr will also be taking part, with the final 3 slots taken by GB diver Lois Toulson, wrestler Billie Kay and cricketer Danni Wyatt”

Hayley: “The full list of all lady celebrities is being shown now on the large TV screen behind me, including everyone’s predictions/answers to the quiz”

Kirsty: “As you will have noticed, 1 of the 8 questions concerned past Champions League history, so we are in a position to update the scores after this 1 question has been marked. I can tell you that 18 viewers correctly stated that Real Madrid was the team that won the Champions League when the final was last played in Portugal. They beat their rivals Atletico Madrid 4-1 in the 2013-14 season, right here in Lisbon”

Hayley: “This means we have a tied lead of 10 points between 18 ladies. Languishing in joint bottom place with no points however is Scarlett Johansson and Gal Gadot.”

Kirsty: “The first spot prize will be awarded for the closest guess to the actual time of the first goal scored in the Atalanta v PSG match. To make it easier we have sorted all 20 predictions in order of time, and that is now shown on the screen behind me”

Hayley: “A quick glance at the list tells me Rachel Weisz will be crossing her fingers that there isn’t a very early goal, whilst Gal Gadot will be hoping for exactly that!”

Kirsty: “I can also see that we have some ladies with the same time. 23 minutes seems particularly popular with no less than 4 ladies assigned to it. Hayley, we might have to order in some extra gunge if that time turns out to be correct!”

Challenge Diletta Preview

Hayley: “Haha, yes indeed! We might also need some extra gunge for ‘Challenge Diletta’ which is taking place later on tonight. In fact, Diletta is here right now to talk about it.”

On walks Diletta in an all white ensemble, pointing her thumbs up to the audience as she laps up their applause.

Kirsty: “Hi Diletta. Later on today you will be taking the short trip to the Estadio da Luz where Atalanta will be playing PSG in the first quarter-final match. How confident are you feeling about taking a penalty kick against the reserve Atalanta goalkeeper during the half-time interval?”

Diletta: “I’m actually going to be reporting on the match for Italian sports news TV, so I’m not really going to be appropriately dressed to do it”

Hayley: “You mean you’ll be changing into a tight dress and high heel shoes!”

Diletta looked surprised “Yes, how did you guess?”

Hayley smiled “Oh, just a wild stab in the dark. Haha! However, you will still have to take the penalty, after all it is ‘Challenge Diletta’ and don’t forget there is a forfeit if you miss!”

Diletta puts her hands on her hips and smiles “Yes I know. I suppose I can give it my best shot!”

Kirsty puts her hand to her ear “Actually I think we can go live to the Estadio da Luz now. Ana and Barbara, can you hear me?”

The large TV monitor explodes into life and shows the two Chega Mais girls at the side of the pitch.

Barbara: “Yes, we can hear you Kirsty. We’ve both immensely honoured to have been asked to help out with ‘Challenge Diletta’. More specifically we’re going to be in charge of administering the forfeit if Diletta misses the penalty tonight”

Ana: “That’s right Barbara. We’ve already been around the stadium’s concession stands and as there haven’t been any fans allowed in the stadium for a few months, there is a plentiful supply of sloppy foodstuffs and condiments that has gone well past its sell by date!

Barbara takes a few steps to the right so she is able to sit on the lipped edge of a large and empty tin bath. Barbara can’t help keep the smile off her face  “….we’ve also found this lurking around in one of the changing rooms and if Diletta misses the penalty, she may well find herself sat in it. Haha!”

The TV shot goes back to the studio and shows a close-up of Diletta’s face as she nervously smiles and puts both her hands up to her face.

Hayley: “Thank you Ana and Barbara! That just leaves me to say good luck with your challenge, Diletta”

Diletta: “Thanks, I think I’m going to need it!”

(Authors Note: The fate of Diletta is in your hands! Which team will progress to the semi-finals – Atalanta or Paris St-Germain? The votes are in and the majority of respondents think that PSG will win, so if that happens then Diletta misses the penalty….)

Wrap-Up

Hayley: “Before we go tonight, we’ve had lots of messages asking us what happened on the Chega Mais show, that was being filmed in the next studio to us.”

Kirsty: “We’ve also had one viewer complain to Ofcom about us being ‘rude’ to the university students. Can you believe it!”

Hayley: “No I can’t Kirsty! After what they put us and the rest of the Alternative Euro 2020 contestants through, I think they deserved everything that they got.”

The blonde turns to Kirsty “Do you want to tell the viewers what happened or shall I?”

Kirsty smirked as she faces the camera “Let’s just say that the university students got their just desserts……LITERALLY!”

Hayley laughs loudly “And we understand that particular episode of Chega Mais will be broadcast on national TV very soon…”

Kirsty still in fits of laughter “….but I think it’s going to have to be shown very very late at night, if you get my meaning!”

Hayley smiles wickedly as she wraps up the show “Ok, so thats about it for today’s episode. Join us on Sunday, when we’ll be bringing you the results from all of the quarter-final matches; we’ll find out how Diletta got on with her penalty kick challenge, we’ll be giving Diletta her next challenge,  and we’ll update the scores from the quiz, with a spot prize for the lady whose viewer’s guess of the time of the first goal scored in the Atalanta and PSG match is closest to the actual time.”

Kirsty: “Until then, we bid you goodbye.”

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. 

It had been a month since the first well-received episode of Horseracing Splatstakes. Now, two brown-haired women stepped onto the turf of the former swampy area, now a racecourse for elite thoroughbred horses, known as the Knavesmire or York Racecourse.

One, the darker-haired woman, wore a grey blazer over a white T-shirt and tight black trousers. Her light brown-haired counterpart, on the other hand, wore a somewhat more formal yellow dress with floral-patterned skirts and yellow hat.

The dark-haired woman grinned. “Hello, welcome to our second Horseracing Splatstakes, I’m Katie Walsh.”

“And I’m Francesca Cumani,” replied her yellow-clad companion. “We’re coming to you from York Racecourse on the Knavesmire, which was so-called because it was a swampy place of execution.”

“Yes, you heard that right,” cut in Katie. “Criminals, including the notorious Dick Turpin, were hanged near the present-day racecourse’s Back Straight. Now, though the spectacle here is a good deal more civilised.”(A/N1)

“Yes,” chuckled Francesca. “From Wednesday the nineteenth of August to Saturday the twenty-second, the Knavesmire once more plays host to the Ebor Festival. Four days of top-class racing, hopefully set against a backdrop of glorious late-summer weather.”

Katie laughed. “But, that’s enough background information!” she announced. “Like we did for Irish Oaks Day at the Curragh, we’ll be giving all of you watching at home to join in the fun.”

“To start with, Game One is our familiar sweepstakes-style set-up,” said Francesca with a smile. “Viewers, this is relatively simple nominate a celebrity and we’ll assign her to one of the runners in the mile and a quarter Juddmonte International Stakes on Wednesday Nineteenth. If we have more nominations than runners in the race, then the extra nominees will be assigned in turn to a horse, doubling up the ladies assigned to those horses as required. As happened in Ireland, the lady or ladies assigned to the winner will get the ‘Slime of Victory’ and the ladies assigned to the last three finishers will be gunged with something very disgusting.”

Katie grinned. “Game Two will also involve the International,” she chuckled. “This time, guess how far the winning horse beats the second by and nominate a celebrity to be gunged if you’re correct. How she gets gunged will be the decision of her nominator. Care to remind them of the details of Game Three, Francesca?”

The yellow-clad Italian-Englishwoman smiled. “Sure thing, Katie,” she giggled. “Game Three focuses on Saturday Twenty-second’s Ebor Handicap over two miles. Entries for this will open on the nineteenth when the final declarations for the Ebor will be released. When the declarations are out, you can just nominate a celebrity, pick which horse you think will win and, if you’re right, she gets gunged.”

Katie grinned. “So, send us your Game One and Two entries to the usual address and good luck to you all.”

“We’ll be back on the nineteenth to introduce Game Three,” continued Francesca. “So, until then, it’s goodbye from both Katie Walsh and me…”

“Goodbye!” called out both presenters with wide grins on their faces.

Author’s note: In a change from the norm, please make your Game 1 and Game 2 entries via the survey below. (Just trying out something different.)

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story will contain nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

This follows on from :- https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/08/09/totty-episode-8-the-series-finale-part-2-with-sarah-keith-lucas-alice-fervonia-thandie-newton-rosamund-pike-emily-blunt-cindy-crawford-and-kaia-gerber-plus-a-couple-of-unwilling-participants/

“Welcome back to part 3 of the Totty series finale” a naked and very messy Maisie Smith said. “Coming up Maisie will be playing a very politically incorrect game called Freaky Beaks with Fallon Sherrock, Becky Adlington and Laura Carmichael which will be judged by Tiswas legend John Gorman” an equally messy and naked Katie Thistleton added. “But first Alice Fervonia from Great British Bake Off and the recent winner of Lizzy Cundy’s Celebrity Coach Dip” will be playing a new game we’ve devised called Guess Who Rear View?” a messy and topless Amber Gill concluded.

Alice walked on again she was messy but still wearing the thin cotton robe over her bikini. “I’m going to host this game as we need Amber to take part plus we’ll need Emily Blunt, Laura Kuenssberg and Sophy Ridge from the Cage” Katie said as Maisie opened the Cage door and a screaming, topless and messy Laura and Sophy were pushed out by a laughing topless and messy Emily. They were lead backstage where they joined the naked and messy Amy-Leigh Hickman and Sarah Keith-Lucas along with the topless and messy Tulisa, Harpz Kaur, Rosamund Pike and Thandie Newton.

Suddenly a screaming Rachel Burden ran onto the set “I demand you release Laura and Sophy. Senior serious feminist journalists like us don’t need to be subjected to this sort of abuse” she yelled in Katie’s face. “Oh hi Rachel did you enjoy your Tiswas/OTT revival time so much you had to come back for second helpings?” “What they did to me there, putting custard in my knickers, stripping me on the News, suspending me from a window cleaners cradle naked, waxing my intimate regions, pushing me on roller skates into a giant cake, making me ride the Torture Wheel and then covering me in goodness knows what from London Zoo. I still cannot get over it” she screamed. “Well Sally Bundock had a great time on this series and Fiona Bruce was amazing on the Tiswas/OTT revival” Katie responded.

“I want to see Sophy and Laura now” she yelled. Two large tanks were wheeled on both covered in a sheet, followed by another two and another two until there were 12 covered tanks. Katie pulled the covers off the first two to reveal two naked bums which were both gunge covered. “What have you done to them?” Rachel screamed. “This” an emerging Rosamund Pike said giving Rachel a surprise double pie sandwich. “Oh hi Rach” said Thandie as she emerged from behind the tanks. “Not you two again” Rachel screamed.

“That dress looks BBC issue” Rosamund said looking at Rachel’s stripped dress. “Better remove it” Thandie replied pulling it off a struggling Rachel’s head to reveal some sexy black underwear. “Don’t tell me, you were taking some photos for Laura’s birthday too or is there some sexy secret among you news types?” Thandie asked. “Okay Sally Bundock got us a discount from Anne Summers” Rachel admitted. “Way to go Slutty Sal” Katie replied. “You have ruined poor Sally, she was a good clean living Christian widow and now she is a deluded middle aged pin up for teenage boys” Rachel yelled. “No we all helped Sally enjoy life again, she presents with a smile again and would have joined us but she was going on a date tonight” Katie replied. “Way to go Bundock, I hope you get some serious ****” Rosamund replied. “I think we’ll remove these for you too” Thandie said taking Rachel’s glasses off her and handing them to a studio hand for safe keeping.

“Anyway Rach, you have saved us as you can fill the empty tank” Thandie said. “No” screamed Rachel as Rosamund and Thandie took her by the wrists. “She is too clean though” Katie shouted. “Good thinking” Rosamund replied as they threw the screaming Rachel into the giant pool of custard used earlier in the show and dived in after her. Rosamund emerged holding Rachel’s bra as Thandie pulled the custard covered Rachel from the pool. Rachel tried to cover her pert breasts as she was dragged behind the tanks and all went quiet.

Katie uncovered all the tanks, all were darkened and all you could see were twelve bare and gunge covered bums protruding. “All tanks are sound proofed so you cannot hear what anyone says. You need to identify the lady by her bum. If you get it right she gets gunged by the contents of her tank if not you do. Plus the first 3 you get wrong you remove an item of clothing” Katie said. “We saw that you often ended up with your bum stuck out of the van window on Celebrity Coach Dip so thought this would be a fun game for you” she added. “Those dares were supposed to be secret but bloody Luisa Zissman put footage online” Alice replied giggling.

“You seemed to like getting your bum and boobs out on that show. When you were chased around the field by those sheep was hilarious” Katie said. Alice smiled and went a bit embarrassed. “I did have fun on that show and you all saw a side of me I don’t usually show” she replied. “We saw a lot of you that we don’t usually see too and probably will do in a bit on here” Katie replied.

“Okay here is the first bum” Katie said as Alice giggling gave it a smack. “I can recognize that one she was on Celebrity Coach Dip with Me, it’s the gorgeous Tulisa” Alice said. The tank became clear and Tulisa was sat there with her briefs down. “As you have been identified you get the delights of your tank” Katie said as a load of oxtail soup went cascaded down over a laughing Tulisa. Alice moved onto the second tank where another white bum was being displayed. Alice gave it a tickle and said “I think this is Amy-Leigh” the tank became clear and Amy-Leigh was revealed. “Enjoy your treat” Katie said as a deluge of cold gravy crashed down onto Amy-Leigh. Alice moved onto the next bum and gave it a tickle. “I reckon that is Maisie” she said. The tank became clear and it was actually Rosamund. “My bum must be good if you think it belongs to a 19 year old” Rosamund said. “Okay Alice, you need to take something off” Katie said. Alice smiling took her cotton robe off. A chute appeared from the top of the tank and Alice got a gunging of semolina. “Damn I missed out on Semolina” Rosamund yelled but a second load from within the tank crashed down onto her.

The forth bum was a darker colour. ” Right let’s think about this we’ve got Thandie, Harpz and Amber” Alice said giving it a poke and the bum jolted. “That is Harpz as I don’t think Amber or Thandie would flinch” Alice reasoned. The tank went clear and Harpz was grinning at Alice. “Hope you enjoy this” Katie said and Harpz got a gunging of baked beans which she rubbed into her petite breasts. The fifth bum wasn’t sticking out that much and Katie gave Alice a stick of celery. Alice gently prodded the bum and it recoiled. “That is the naughty Rachel” Alice said as the tank cleared to show a mortified Rachel whose bum had been wedged into the hole. “Have fun” Kate said and a load of celery soup crashed down onto a screaming Rachel who was strapped into her seat.

The 6th bum was another darker one and Alice prodded it with the stick of celery and could see the bum rippling with laughter. “That is Thandie” she said. The tank cleared and it was Amber sat there. “You aged my bum over 25 years” she yelled. “I thought your’s was bigger” Alice replied. “Right Alice breasts” Katie said. “No it’s Alice’s fanny” Alice replied dropping her bikini briefs to reveal her clean shave muff. A chute from the tank came out and Alice was covered in cold Greek Yogurt. She squealed as it covered her and ran down her body.

The 7th bum was another darker one. “That must be Thandie” Alice said jabbing the celery stick between Thandie’s bum cheeks as the tank revealed a laughing Thandie who was covered in cottage cheese. The 8th bum was revealed. “Right we’ve got Maisie, Sarah, Sophy, Laura and Emily left” Alice said looking at the bum which was pushed way out. “That has got to be Maisie” she said giving it a hard slap. The tank revealed Maisie laughing back at them. “Here try this” Katie said as a load of Rice Pudding crashed down onto Maisie. The 9th bum wasn’t pushed that far out. Alice gave the bum a mighty smack and it recoiled. “I’m going for Laura” she said. The tank revealed a distressed looking Sophy with her bum gingerly pushed out of the tank she had been strapped into her seat. “Alice get them out” Katie said as Alice took her bikini top off to reveal her amazing boobs. “Star jump” Maisie yelled and a laughing Alice did one as the chute came out and she was drenched with Ham and Pea Soup.

The 10th bum was stuck right out. “I can see a lot of hair so I’m guessing Emily has a hairy bum too” Alice said. The tank cleared to reveal a grinning Emily. “I’m Emily Blunt with the Hairy ****. Not Emily Cum with the Hairy Bum” Emily yelled as she got drenched with a load of custard. Katie began to laugh “It’s ironic Emily said that as there is something cloudy in one of the two remaining tanks” she said. “I really hope a certain person gets it. Any chance of another celery stick?” Alice asked. “No sorry” Katie replied as the 11th bum was revealed pushed right out of the tank. “Sarah” Alice said as the tank revealed a smiling Sarah who got drenched in a sticky cloudy liquid. “What the **** was that” Sarah yelled. “Horse Spunk” Katie replied. “I drew the short straw or the long dong” Sarah yelled back laughing.

The twelfth bum was revealed and Alice gave it a very hard slap and the left cheek and then the right cheek. “This must be Laura” she said laughing as the tank revealed a squirming Laura who then to add to her humiliation was covered in cold lumpy porridge. “Right Alice lets go and collect all those dropped briefs, shorts and knickers up bar Emily’s. Her big reveal will come in the final part” Katie said. Her and Alice ran to the tanks collecting the items and releasing the girls. Laura, Sophy and Rachel were all pushed forward naked. Rachel was neatly trimmed, Sophy was clean shaven and Laura was fairly hairy. “That is borderline but not in the waxing for now” Rosamund said as they pushed Laura, Sophy and Rachel into the Cage. Tulisa emerged with a neatly trimmed bush so did Thandie, Rosamund had let hers grow slightly from the earlier video.

Finally Harpz emerged with a really hairy bush. “You are so going into the waxing” Thandie said. “Brilliant, I let it grow hoping that I would” she replied giggling. “That is impressive but not as good as mine. Who wants to see it” she yelled as she dropped her briefs to huge cheers shouting “Here is Prakash my hairy gash as Harpz christened it. Hers is good but it’s some affront to say it’s as good as my hairy ****”. Harpz looked at it and said “Wow it is hairy” hardly able to stop laughing. “I know, that’s why I put it on show” Emily concluded as the crowd cheered.

“Okay this is where the real fun starts please welcome Fallon Sherrock, Becky Adlington and Laura Carmichael” Maisie said. The three ladies walked on to huge cheers. Fallon was in work out gear with her hair in pigtails. Becky was in a strapless bikini with her hair down and Laura was in a white t-shirt with a black strapless bra underneath and was wearing denim shorts and had her hair down. They walked onto “Your Nose” by Neil Sedaka :- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_O6GaKR9yE

They stood there laughing as the song concluded “You ****** bitch” Becky yelled grabbing Maisie and throwing her into the giant pool of custard as the audience cheered. Maisie emerged covered in custard and hugged a laughing Becky. “I had that coming” she said. “Yes you bloody did” Fallon replied. “Well you’ve come back on Becky sorry I mean Fallon” Maisie said. “Yes I did Compost Corner” Fallon replied as the audience yelled back “Compost Corner”. “I also ended up playing topless darts too” Fallon added laughing. “When you confused Fallon for me. I knew I had to come on. I’ve taken a lot of stick about my nose and I let it get to me. But that was legit funny so I felt it was time to face things head on and with this nose I’d fancy my chances” Becky said to huge cheers. “Full respect to you Becky and a very daring bikini. I guess we’ll likely find out if you are a natural blonde?” Maisie replied. “I’ll have a think about this but I think these bad boys will come out” Becky added pushing her boobs into Fallon’s nose.

“We could use your noses for markers if someone gets lost in Emily Blunt’s hairy ****” Maisie said as Laura went a bit embarrassed. “Please don’t make me say that” Laura pleaded. “No we wouldn’t ask Lady Edith the illegitimate daughter of Carson the Butler” Maisie replied. “She wasn’t” Laura screamed back giggling. “Come on look at the noses” Maisie replied bringing up a photo of Lady Edith and Carson to prove her point. “Why did I think it was a good idea to come on here. A few glasses of wine and Michelle Dockery daring me are to blame” Laura admitted. “Well you are here now” Maisie replied. “Also please welcome via Video Link to help me run this game Tiswas Legend and another owner of an impressive nose John Gorman” she added.

“Hiya John” Maisie shouted. “Hi girls. All those naked bodies are making my appendage stand to attention” John said pointing to his own impressive nose. “Becky, they are just jealous, we can tell changes of wind before others” he added. “John is now 84 years old so we thought it was best he stayed at home. But he had hit records in 3 decades and is a true Tiswas legend” Maisie said as the audience cheered John. “Scary to think that Laura, Becky and Maisie’s age combined equals mine” John replied. “He’s right I’m 19, Laura is 34 and Becky 31. Our combined noses probably aren’t as big as his either” Maisie replied. “If we substituted Fallon for me then it might be tighter” she added. “How old are you Fallon?” John asked. “I’m 26 why?” Fallon replied. “Well if you put Fallon’s and Becky’s ages together then you’d get what Maisie?” John asked. “57 why John. Oops what am I like” Maisie replied as the four ladies got the full Heinz product gunging. They staggered about under the onslaught slipping and sliding on the floor. Becky fell onto her bum and sat there crying with laughter as spaghetti, soup and baked beans deluged her.

“What the **** was that” Laura screamed as she wiped her eyes. Fallon and Maisie helped Becky up but Maisie slipped over and pulled the other two back down and Laura when she tried to help them up was pulled down into the Heinz mush too. “Oh dear we are out of time for this part we’ll have to play Freaky Beaks in Part 4 when we’ll be joined by our special guest Louise Redknapp. I guess the waxing and Torture Wheel challenge will now be Part 5” Maisie said sliding into her signature splits.

Hope you like this part, decided to bring and old foe back for the girls and the story went long. So I’m going to finish it in another two parts rather than one and might have another surprise appearance or two,

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may contain nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. 

Chloe Davison the star of Four O’Clock Club leapt with joy as she opened her A-Level results. She had got 2 A*’s and A and a B and had an offer to study Drama at LAMDA. She excitedly phoned her friend Cleo Demetriou to tell her the good news. “Come around to mine tonight Chloe and we’ll celebrate” Cleo enthused to her. “I feel so lucky, these were predicted grades and if I’d sat my exams I was going to wear the clothes I wore on Saturday Mash Up for each exam. When I was gunged my co-stars joked it was my lucky outfit” Chloe replied. “Would you have worn those Mickey Mouse knickers you had on when we gave you your 18th birthday surprise gunging?” Cleo joked. “I’m wearing them today and I don’t see what is so funny about them” Chloe replied. “Be at mine for 7:00pm and maybe bring a change of clothing as if it goes on late you can stay over” Cleo suggested.

Unaware of what Cleo was planning Chloe decided to wear her “lucky outfit” to Cleo’s for a laugh.

Cleo greeted Chloe warmly and had glammed herself up for the evening in a cropped top and tight jeans.

“Remember your 18th here when we had you doing karaoke with a messy twist . You Gawky Squawker” Cleo said laughing. “Yes you set me up completely gave me a massive gunging” Chloe replied. “Come on I’ve been on Totty, that was what you called a huge gunging” Cleo replied. “Yes Maisie wanted to get me to go on Totty. Can you imagine me on that?” Chloe added giggling. “Yes, you not going on and me not being invited back for the series finale was a bit disappointing. But there is talk of a second series and you are so coming on with me if Maisie has her way” Cleo suggested. “Has Maisie recovered from the Totty series finale yet?” Chloe asked. “She’s good, just chilling out today otherwise she’d have joined us. Also she is keeping her eye out in case the political journalists want to get even” Cleo joked. “Yes it was cruel, brutal but rather funny” Chloe concluded.

Several more mutual none-famous female friends arrived and the girls cracked open a few bottles of wine and relaxed in Cleo’s back garden on a warm summer’s night. The girls became more giggly and flirty and Chloe became comically tipsy. “If I was ever on Totty and I repeat that will never happen. I’d taken on Cleo and I’d beat her at any game and you’d see all of her but who didn’t last time” she said slurring her words. Suddenly Cleo threw a bucket of cold water over Chloe. “This should sober you up and you’d never beat me in something like Over, Down or Off” Cleo challenged her.

“Well this is off” Chloe said taking off her sodden sweatshirt to reveal her slender body and a dark black bra. “This is down” said taking her glass of win and emptying it inside Cleo’s jeans. “What about off?” Cleo replied laughing. “Your knickers when you wear any. But I am your best friend. I really am” Chloe said throwing her arm around Cleo. “I know just stand there and I’m going to fetch you a little present to show how much we all love you and to celebrate your A-Level results” Cleo said giggling. “I hope it’s something nice. She is such a lovely friend” Chloe shouted to the other girls. Cleo crept up behind Cleo and slowly emptied a bucket of cold baked beans over Chloe’s head. Chloe stood there in shock as the beans ran down her face and across her long dark tied back hair. She grimaced as the beans almost in slow motion ran down her body and into her cleavage and inside her bra before carrying on down her slender body. Chloe slunk off with her head down fuming as the girls howled with laughter.

Cleo was giggling and swigging back her wine that she didn’t notice which way Chloe went. Suddenly Cleo screamed as she felt something cold and lumpy as Chloe dumped a bucket of cold lumpy porridge over Cleo’s head. “Gotcha” Chloe screamed. “I found her stash of buckets, she was going to set me up again” she continued. Cleo removed the bucket from her head and was laughing as the porridge ran down her lush shiny hair and into her cleavage. “Fair enough you sussed me out. But you’d never outdo me” Cleo yelled. But Chloe had got another bucket and launched a load of Oxtail Soup in Cleo’s face turning her into a a dark savory mess.

Cleo slipped by the side of Cleo and grabbed a bucket of Greek Yogurt and planted it on top of Chloe’s head. Chloe screamed as the cold yogurt ran down her body and Cleo sat on top of her and rubbed it firmly into Chloe’s boobs. “The yogurt went over, it now goes down and this comes off” Cleo shouted as she pushed a load of yogurt down Chloe’s jeans and pulled her bra off exposing her small petite breasts. “They are nearly as small as Sophia Dall’Aglio’s and hers are minute” Cleo said laughing. Chloe looked down and saw her bare yogurt covered boobs and screamed. But instead of being distraught she was almost empowered. She reached up and pulled Cleo’s top up into her face exposing Cleo’s olive coloured pert breasts. With Cleo unable to see, Chloe rolled from under her and sprinted for a couple of buckets.

“See they do jiggle” she yelled as their friends laughed at her small breasts jiggling up and down. She picked up another bucket of beans and one of Ham and Pea Soup. She stuck the bucket of beans on Cleo’s head and launched the other bucket at Cleo’s body. Unable to see Cleo reached out and grabbed Chloe wrestling her to the floor and pinning her down as they rolled around. Cleo began to tickle Chloe who screamed and giggled before Chloe rolled back on top of Cleo and began to tickle Cleo in her belly button and play with her breasts. This got Cleo very horny and she began to groan just as all the other friends launched the several buckets of cold water over the laughing duo to calm them down.

Eventually the two girls rolled onto their backs laughing next to each other. “Pointing them at the moon won’t make them grow” Cleo said laughing. “I actually feel quite liberated. Maybe I might go on Totty if they do another series. But I feel so hot, sticky and messy, I need a shower now” Chloe replied. “I feel sticky too” Cleo replied gently feeling her crotch and smiling to herself. “Everytime” she said to herself with a satisfied smirk on her face.