The programme began, as original studio host Rita Ora introduced the special version of its a Messtery live from her home.

“Hi, I’m Rita Ora, and over the last 24 hours, you have been trying work out who our latest batch of celebrity guests are who are willing to get messy. Of course, they will all be doing it in isolation, so let’s reveal who our ladies are tonight”.

Six more windows appeared on the screen revealing Myleene Klass, Ariana Grande, Alex Jones, Beth Mead, Lucy Fallon and BBC Midlands Today weather reporter Rebecca Wood.

Each of the ladies waved as they appeared on screen. Rita continued.

“Now ladies, I can reveal that only four of you will be getting messy. But I should also say that there were of course seven clues, and yes, I was one of the answers, so may be getting messed up later myself.”

There was an awkward silence as each of the ladies awaited the results of the quiz. Rita continued.

“The first star staying clean tonight is”, Rita paused, “Beth”.

The Arsenal star who was sat there in her football kit applauded, before waving goodbye and logging off.

“The second safe star tonight is”, Rita paused again, “Myleene!”

Myleene clapped and cheered, and could be seen putting two cartons of custard away before signing off.

“Right, you know what that means ladies, let’s start with an episode of The One Show, it’s over to Alex Jones”.

The One Show theme tune played and the shot cut to Alex in the BBC One Show studio. She was wearing a black top which was cut off above the shoulder.

“Thanks Rita”, she said in her broad Welsh accent, “good evening and welcome to a very special edition of the one show. Tonight we’re looking at Welsh Rarebit and how it’s made”.

A short VT was played which spoke about the traditional Welsh delicacy. When the VT ended and the live feed returned to the studio, Alex was sat in a large Perspex tank.

Lenny Henry walked on set.

“Right now we’re gonna make our own Welsh Rarebit! Ready in there Alex?”

Alex brushed her longer than normal hair back and then put her thumbs up.

“Right”, said Lenny, “first we need the cheese”.

A clunk noise was heard and within a second a torrent of thick melted yellow cheese rained down on Alex’s head. She was immediately covered and it smelt awful too. Before she had time to react, Lenny added “and don’t forget the tomato!”

A second clunk was heard and this time a torrent of red liquid gushed down as Alex was coated in tomato purée.

“Wow, what a moment that was”, said Lenny, “now it’s back to Rita to continue It’s a Messtery”. The camera panned round and zoomed in on Alex giving some great after shots before the feed cut away and Rita took over from home again.

“Thanks Lenny and well done Alex. Next this evening we head to we’ll, Coronation Street? Are you there Lucy?”

“Hey Rita, thanks for having me on the show”.

“That’s ok hun. What are you going to do for us?”

“Well the suggestion was that some of my old cast mates would get me messy but we can’t do that in lockdown so I’m going to recreate some famous messy Corrie scenes for you”.

“Ok take it away”.

The Coronation Street theme played and a scene of a male character being squirted with ketchup was shown. The action then cut back to Lucy who was wearing a white top.

Suddenly from nowhere to streams of ketchup came squiring out covering Lucy’s face and long blonde hair. The actress giggled and tried to wipe some of the sauce away but more was squirted at her.

Next a clip was played of a female character being drenched in chocolate milk. Once the clip finished, an already ketchup soaked Lucy was seen with thick dark chocolate pouring all over her long blonde hair, she smiled and licked her lips as the chocolate continued to pour down. Eventually it stopped, but only for a second, as a a second, smaller quantity came pouring down.

Finally, a short montage showed a series of characters having drinks poured and thrown over them. Once the clip finished, the live stream of Lucy showed various pints, first thrown at her face from behind the camera, and then poured over her head. She was dripping, but managed to still laugh through the whole experience.

She blew a kiss to camera, and the screen went blank. A split second later the feed cut back to Rita, who had now taken her place in a bath of baked beans.

“Told you I might be getting messy!” she said. “A massive thank you to Lucy Fallon, for that excellent Coronation Street throwback, right, while I get comfy in here, it’s time to check on the latest weather, here’s Rebecca Wood with the forecast”.

Rebecca was stood in her garden and was wearing a blue top. Her long brown hair was straight and she smiled at the camera as he got ready to deliver a unique weather forecast.

“Good evening, and welcome to the outskirts of sunny Birmingham. Let’s take a look at the weather over the Bank Holiday weekend”.

There were no graphics with this weather and Becky remained in full screen view.

“It’s going to be a warm weekend with plenty of orange colours on our weather map”.

A torrent of quite runny, and clearly homemade orange gunge gushed down on Becky who squealed as it hit her. She brushed it aside and carried on.

“But, as we head towards the end of the weekend, we see a cold front, with lots more blue colours appearing”.

Some thicket blue gunge was poured onto her and coated her long brown hair and face. Once again she tried to brush it away but found it much trickier this time as the gunge was much thicker.

“Finally”, she said, regaining her composure, “we expect to see more rain in the forecast next week, some of this rain may be a little dirty, so there is the potential for some slime floods near you”.

An enormous quantity of perfectly produced green slime gushed down, covering Becky. Her face disappeared entirely beneath it for a second as it cascaded over her. She was welll and truly covered, this was the first time she had done anything like this, and it was clear she was finding it quite enjoyable.

She stood in front of the camera, dripping gunge. “From me, Rebecca Wood, in Birmingham, it’s good night, and back to Rita in her messy bath”.

The screen temporarily went blank before returning to Rita, in her bath, which was now seemingly filled with more beans that it had been before. Just as she was about open her mouth and present the next link, she was doused from above with a shower of beans, followed by another and another, ensuring she was absolutely covered in the famous substance.

She began to playfully smear it round her face and body, and more beans continued to rain down.

“Mmm”, she said, “I love beans! Right, time for something rather special now, performing live from her home in the USA, please welcome Ariana Grande!”

A final drop of beans splattered perfectly on top of Rita’s head as the screen once again went blank before cutting to Ariana Grande who was sat in a novelty oversized breakfast bowl.

The backing track kicked in and Ariana began to sing one of her biggest hits. Suddenly as she reached the chorus, spurts of porridge came from all angles – from both sides from the base of the bowl and from above. Much of it hit Ariana, who had decided not to bother with her trademark ponytail and wore her long hair loose.

By the end of the song, the bowl was full and the pretty singer was covered. Suddenly a harness came from nowhere which Ariana struggled to clip herself into. Eventually she gave a thumbs up and was lifted into the air before being turned upside down and dunked head first into the bowl. It was quite elaborate for what was clearly a home set up.

Eventually she was let out again before being spun back around and sat down in the porridge. To round things off a ton of classic Nickelodeon green slime came crashing down. Ariana laughed before blowing some kisses to the camera. The screen faded and a graphic briefly appeared.

Then finally, Rita Ora, still sat in her baked bean bath reappeared on screen to close the show but not before one last ton of beans rained down.

Rita thanked all the guests and the Zoom style screen appeared showing all of them, covered in mess and waving to the camera.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may feature scenes of nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

It was a warm late Spring/early Summer evening, as a pretty brown-haired woman stepped into downtown television station’s lobby. Looking around for a moment, she couldn’t help laughing when she spotted a poster with before and after photos from the previous series. There looked like there was a constant stream of celebrities and the titular nurses covered in mixed together slime and food-based slop. She shuddered at the thought of what that would feel like. I better not be getting mucky tonight! 

Still quietly fuming to herself about that possibility, she stepped into her changing room and let out a groan of frustration after the door clicked shut behind her. She glanced at her watch and realised she was running late. Knowing that a stage-hand would soon come to fetch her, she quickly changed into the purple bikini she had worn for the previous episode.

After pulling her bikini bottoms on so that the tanga-cut scrap of lycra snugly cupped her shapely derriere, she was just tying her top securely when there was a knock on the door. Moments later, the brunette was led through to the show’s dimly lit studio.

An electronically-synthesised version of the jaunty jazz theme song was piped through the studio’s speakers. As the music filled the air, the overhead lights came on, illuminating the stage. This revealed the usual gunging paraphernalia and the large “Immerse the Nurse: Season Two” logo on the back wall.

A spotlight clicked to life, highlighting the show’s bikini-clad presenter as she stepped into view with a wide smile on her face. “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!” she called out. “Welcome to the second part of the first match of Immerse the Nurse’s second season with me, Brooke Vincent. Tonight, Bristol Royal Infirmary’s Amber and the Royal Brompton Hospital’s Minnie will find out who will take a step closer to bringing half a million pounds back to work and who is just going home with five hundred quid and a coating of mess. So, without further ado, please, welcome back, Amber and Minnie!”

The two nurses stepped out onto the stage. As

before, brown-haired Amber wore a red-belted white tunic and sheer beige stockings while blonde-haired Minnie wore a red-belted navy-blue tunic and sheer black stockings. The two smiling nurses grinned as they approached Brooke, who was waiting in the middle of the stage. The two healthcare workers hugged the bikini-clad hostess as the audience cheered, whooped and whistled.

Brooke grinned as they broke the group hug. “Welcome back, ladies,” she said warmly. “Are you looking forward to tonight’s main event?”

Amber nervously twirled a lock of brown hair around her index finger. “I’m not sure ‘looking forward to it’ is the right phrase, Brooke,” she admitted. “But, I am anxious to find out the result and get what comes later done.”

“Uuuhhhh, yeah, I agree,” replied the quivering Minnie.

“Well, you’re right to be anxious,” laughed Brooke. “‘Cause some of the forfeits are brutal. They range from simply ‘Bondage’ to ‘Mud Wrestling with Brooke with the loser getting a naked spanking’ or ‘Naked Pies’.” The brunette actress shuddered theatrically.

A stage-hand jogged into view and handed Brooke an open glittery envelope. “I can now reveal the result,” announced the actress-turned-presenter, a bit too cheerfully for the liking of Amber and Minnie. The winning nurse going through to the next round is… Minnie with 51.22%!” As Brooke said this, screens around the studio showed a pie chart of the result. The audience cheered both in congratulation for Minnie but they were also anticipating that curvy brown-haired Amber was going to be getting very messy.

Amber gasped as she heard what Brooke said and saw the graph on the screens surrounding her. The curvy brunette gaped at what had happened. Really?! Out of the running this early?!

The presenter in the skimpy purple bikini grinned slyly and gestured towards a glittering purple top hat. “Well, Amber, the public have had their say,” Brooke explained. “Now, it’s time to pick out your first of three forfeits from our lovely hat.”

“Do I have to?” asked Amber pleadingly.

Brooke snorted with laughter. “Yes, you do!”

Reluctantly, the brown-haired nurse reached into the hat and pulled out one of the familiar pieces of crumpled-up paper. She tentatively handed it over to Brooke, who unfolded it and read what was written on it. “First up, Amber, is ‘Gloss Paint’. Yes, that means that, as things stand, we’re going to pour tins of paint over you.”

Amber looked shocked. “Oh, no!” she shrieked. “You can’t!”

Brooke just laughed. “Oh, yes, we can! Let her have it, everyone.”

Before she could react, four stage-hands rose from under the floor, each holding a tin of brightly-coloured gloss paint. Exchanging a glance, the four back-stage crewmembers swung the paint tins forward quickly. Amber screamed as thick sickly-looking shades of purple, yellow, green and red paint splashed over her. She was left striped by the four different colours from her chin to her knees. The thick shiny paint soaked into the white fabric of her tunic, thoroughly staining it. Under the hot studio lights, the paint began to dry, leaving Amber’s quadri-coloured paint-splattered skin feeling tacky. Her arms were streaked with different colours of the shiny paint.

Brooke grinned. “Okay, Amber, time to pick out your next forfeit!”

The busty nurse groaned as she reached into the hat once more. Grabbing the first thing she touched, she tossed a wadded-up piece of paper towards Brooke and waited for her fate to be revealed.

The pretty, swimwear-clad presenter slowly unfolded the ball of paper, piling the tension on the paint-splashed nurse. “Next up, Amber is… ‘Naked Gunge Tank while tied face to face with Madison’, that’s a direct quote by the way!”

Amber stared at the brown-haired actress. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“No,  I’m not,” answered Brooke in a sing-song voice. “So… I think you need to shed some clothes now.”

The curvy brown-haired nurse shook her head in disbelief even as she unbuckled her belt before undoing the buttons down the front of her tunic. Sliding the tunic down her arms revealed the paint-streaked formerly white bra, thong and suspender belt she had worn underneath. Drops of paint had left lines down her legs to soak into her stockings. With a deep sigh, Amber unclasped her bra and threw it aside, before hooking her fingers into the waistband of her lacy thong and sliding it down her legs. Quickly covering her trimmed muff with her hands, she stood up again wearing just her suspenders, stockings and high-heeled shoes, having kicked her thong off the stage.

Brooke giggled gleefully at what was going to happen. “Well, it’s time to welcome back Amber’s assistant for tonight. Please, put your hands together once again for… Madison Beer!”

The dark-haired American singer walked into view wearing a black one-piece swimsuit with a cleavage-enhancing neckline which also showed off the globes of her buttocks. Emblazoned below her chest on the swimsuit were the words “Sun’s Out-Buns Out”. When the audience realised that the celebrity dunkee from the previous episode was making a return appearance, they lost it and descended into a five-minute bout of cheering, cat-calling and wolf-whistling. Madison smiled ruefully at the audience’s reaction, a pink tinge colouring her cheeks.

Brooke grinned at the dark-haired American. “Welcome back, Madison,” she chuckled. “I suppose you’re wishing that Amber hadn’t pulled this out of the hat.”

The black swimsuit-clad singer rolled her eyes. “That’s one way of putting it, Brooke!” she admitted.

The brown-haired actress who’d become this episode’s presenter picked a coin off a nearby table. “Okay, Madison, we have a little issue.”

The American singer gave Brooke a quizzical look. “And that would be what, Brooke?”

Brooke gave her a nasty grin. “Well, as you heard, Amber pulled out a naked gunging forfeit,” she reminded the dark-haired, black swimsuit-clad singer. “So, we have to decide what you’ll be wearing in the gunge tank. Now, I’m going to flip a coin, heads means you keep that swimsuit on while tails means you take it off.”

Madison rubbed her hand down her face, trying to build up her nerves. “Okay!” she sighed. “Let’s do it!”

Brooke grinned, balancing the coin on her index finger and sliding her thumb underneath. Flicking her thumb around until it pointed at the ceiling, the brunette actress sent the two-sided piece of metal tumbling through the air until it landed on the floor with a dull clatter. The two women leaned in to see what way the two-pound piece had landed. Madison groaned when she saw how it had landed.

“Tails?! Damn it!” she swore.

Brooke just laughed at the singer’s reaction. “Well, Madison,” she commented. “That result means you are certainly wearing a little too much. So, I think you should lose that swimsuit.”

Madison shot a half-hearted glare at the Coronation Street actress even as she reached up and slid her swimsuit’s straps from her shoulders before she rolled the lycra down over the curves of her body until it dropped to the floor. The dark brown-haired woman covered her shaven muff with her hands as Brooke guided her over to where Amber stood waiting inside the glass enclosure of the gunge tank.

As Madison stepped into the tank, Amber pulled her into a close hug. The dark-haired singer squirmed, as she felt some of the paint that covered the nurse rub off onto her own skin. As the US singer relaxed into Amber’s embrace, stage-hands began wrapping lengths of rope tightly around their waists, tightly binding them together. The two women found themselves so tight to each other that their large breasts were almost crushed between them. An ominous click filled the air as a stage-hand closed and sealed the chest-high door of the gunge tank.

Grinning at the two women tied up in the booth Brooke wrapped her hand around a lever stuck on the side of the tank. “Well, ladies, it’s time to face the gunge!” she called out as she pulled the lever downwards.

A loud gurgle overhead drew the attention of the two bound women. They both looked up at the same time, just before two streams of thicker-than-normal multi-coloured slime descended on them. Green, blue, pink, brown and black goo splashed off their faces in a pair of domes. Amber and Madison screamed about how cold the slime was and squirmed as it flowed down their curves.

As with the gunge tank in the previous series, the multi-coloured goo pooled around their ankles and began to fill the water-tight enclosure. They both squealed and squirmed harder as the slime covered their backsides, sloshing around their more sensitive areas. The sticky goo kept rising until, to their squealing discomfort, it stopped pouring over them with the surface of the slime lapping against their nipples. But their ordeal hadn’t ended yet four nozzles in the top corners of the tank came to life, spraying thick white foam over the body-parts which were above the level of the slime. When the foam sprays finally shut off, the two women’s shoulders and heads were left as nondescript shapeless white masses in the middle of a sea of multi-coloured slime.

Chuckling to herself, Brooke walked back to where Minnie was waiting beside two large vertical roulette-style wheels. “I’m afraid that’s nearly all we have time for,” announced the brown-haired actress. “But, first we need to find out who will present our next match and also the number corresponding to the identity of our next Healthy Celebrity Dunkee. Now, Minnie, please, spin the wheel on your left and let’s find out who will host the next episode.”

The blonde nurse reached up and pulled hard on the wheel which began its familiar rapid rotation. After nearly a minute, the wheel slowed down and finally came to rest with the pointer pointing squarely at the segment containing the name of Billie Faiers.

Brooke grinned. “So, Billie will host Match Two,” she confirmed. “Minnie, it’s time to find out which of our possible celebrity guest is going to brave the Healthy Dunking next. Please, spin the second wheel.”

With a grin, Minnie did so, tugging the indicated wheel and stepping back to watch as the numbers on it clicked past the pointer. Eventually, it stopped, the pointer aimed squarely at segment twenty-four.

Brooke grinned. “Well, that’s all we have time for,” she announced to disappointed groans from the audience. “Join Billie next time as she introduces our next pair of intrepid nurses and reveals who guest number twenty-four is. Thanks for watching, good night!”

The only two clean women on-stage waved as the audience applauded. The camera swept across the studio finally coming to rest, for the final shot as the view faded out, focussed on Madison and Amber in the slime.

Author’s note: yes, I haven’t dropped this story. Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed this instalment. As always, feedback is very much appreciated.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story will contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature. 

This is a bit of a slow burner story but I hope you like it. If you want to skip the scene setting and a bit of humour then start reading from about where you can see Holly Hamilton in red vest top photo.

With not a lot of sport going on BBC Sports presenter Holly Hamilton had been requested to interview the star of Love Island, This Morning and current face of Ann Summers Maura Higgins. Holly was only given this assignment as she lived in Northern Ireland and had been to Galway to interview GAA All Star Gaelic Footballer Ian Burke and Maura lived in Longford under 100 minutes drive away. Holly had driven for over 3 hours to interview Ian over a cordial lunch in his local beer garden and didn’t fancy a long detour to see Maura and then another 2 hour plus drive home. So when Maura suggested that she could take Holly to her holiday home on the Isle of Inishmore it appealed to Holly.

Maura would catch a train from Longford to Galway and Holly would only have to drive them 30 mins to the ferry which would then take under an hour to reach Inishmore. Maura told Holly she could leave her car safely at Galway Ferry Terminal and they could spend a night a Maura’s holiday home and travel back the next day. “It seems a nice idea, but I’ve only got the clothes I’m wearing apart from my emergency change of underwear. I always carry” Holly told Maura on her mobile. “Very sensible thing to do” Maura joked. “Well I was interviewing a football team once which had got promotion and the gits emptied a bucket of water over my head” Holly replied. “Bet you were really embarrassed but saw the funny side afterwards” Maura teased. “I was fuming as I had a white top on and everyone could see my bra through it afterwards” Holly replied. “Oh yes you were dubbed Holly Hamilbooby after Holly Willoughby’s nickname” Maura replied. “Yes that was rather mortifying but my husband still calls it me” Holly said. “Yep, Holly Willoughby was gunged many times on her Ministry of Mayhem days” Maura recalled. “Yes she’s done very well for herself” Holly replied. “Maybe you should be gunged and your career will really take off Maura” joked. “I don’t think so but I saw that you got messy on Inishmore a couple of months ago and did a naughty spot on Tiswas/OTT reunion” Holly said. “We can talk about that?” Maura suggested.

“Anyway don’t worry about clothes, I’ve got loads of free sexy Ann Summers stuff, you can wear. The locals would enjoy seeing us parade around in that” Maura joked. “I really don’t think I’d do that and I’ve only this one set of clothes with me” Holly said. “I’ve got lots of leisure wear, I may be a bit more petite than you but I can find something casual for you to slip into and I bet you sleep in the nude” Maura teased her. “What I wear in bed is between me and my husband but if you have some leisure wear I could borrow that would be great” Holly added. “Hopefully there is nothing but naked skin between you and your husband but I’ll sort you out with something and don’t worry you won’t get your clothes messy even if I’m in one of my naughty moods. I’ll see you outside the station in an hour” Maura concluded and signed off. Holly thought that Maura was very forward and felt a bit uncomfortable about her mentioning what she may or may not wear in bed and joking about trying on Ann Summers underwear . But she then realised she had bought up her emergency change of underwear and why she carried it. Maura had been gunged on Tiswas/OTT reunion, was the new face and body of Ann Summers which was one of the things she’d be interviewing her about.

Maura had offered to put her up for the night and take her to see an island she had never visited before. Maura was clearly very outgoing and body confident. She had a cheeky flirty manner and maybe liked trying to embarrass people a bit but in a fun harmless manner Holly concluded. Also she’d heard that Maura used to be a right diva but now had this fun naughty side. It certainly seemed the later was what she was likely to encounter and this seemed preferable to a self centered bitch.

Holly waited outside Galway station and got a text to say “Just pulling in darling” from Maura. Holly looked out for Maura and saw her walking towards her smiling wearing a very small mini skirt and matching strapless crop top.

Holly held out her hand for Maura to shake but Maura went in for a hug there was a bit of confusion and as Holly tried to reciprocate the hug she accidentally touched Maura’s boobs. “Oh I’m so sorry Maura” Holly said feeling mortified. “If that’s how you greet then it’s fine with me” replied Maura and grabbed hold of Holly’s bust and gave them a squeeze saying “Nice and juicy, ready to ripen”. “Do you mind?” Holly said abruptly. “I was only teasing you and you did grab mine first” Maura replied. “That was an accident” Holly said. “I know but it was a nice ice breaker. I’m prepared to be candid in our interview and I want to know that you will be non judgmental and give me a fair hearing. I’m no angel but I do want to state my side” Maura said. Holly began to think that Maura had effectively tested her and that she may get a better interview out of it.

“Have you got any luggage?” Holly asked Maura. “Here it comes” said Maura as two wide eyed teenage lads came up carrying two designer suitcases. “Thanks lads, tell me your names and I’ll give you a shoutout online and you can have one of these” said Maura pulling a couple of very sexy Ann Summers promo cards out of the pocket of one of the suitcases. “I’m Paul and he’s Declan” one of the lads said. “Have you got a pen Holly?” Maura asked. “Sure” said Holly reaching into her handbag and pulling out a sharpie and handing it to Maura. Taking the sharpie Maura signed each promo card “To Paul/Declan thanks for the help lots of love Maura” and put a big lipstick Kiss on each card. “Thanks so much Maura, can we have a selfie each?” asked Paul. “Sure” said Maura and posed up with each lad holding their promo card and smiling very happily. “Wow a kiss off Maura” said Declan looking at his card. “Come here” Maura said to him and gave him a smacker on the lips. “Would you like one too” she said to Paul who nodded his head and Maura gave him a big kiss on the lips.

“Could we have a photo with you Holly please?” Paul asked. Holly had occasionally been asked for a selfie but she said why not and checked her hair.

“I’ll take the photo” said Maura and took the lad’s phones as they stood either side of Holly who felt slightly embarrassed. “I’ve not got any signed photos and I definitely won’t be giving out any kisses” Holly joked to ease the slight awkwardness. “You lads give Holly a kiss on each cheek but only on her face mind you” Maura said. Before Holly could say anything Paul and Declan simultaneously gave her a kiss on her cheeks and Maura took the photo. “You have to both kiss the other cheek” Maura added and Paul and Declan swapped over and gave Holly a kiss on the other cheek as Maura took another photo. Maura hugged both lads and said goodbye. Declan was heard saying to Paul “My mates will be well jealous I got a kiss off Maura Higgins and I gave Holly Willoughby two kisses”.

“They thought I was Holly Willoughby and I got kissed by two lads I’d never met before” Holly stormed to Maura. “Just think how excited and horny they will be tonight and we have really made their day. This is something they will probably never forget. I always try to be nice to my fans. Plus if you didn’t want to kiss them having a little peck on the cheek from them did you no harm. I did swap them around to wind you up though” Maura admitted. Holly and Maura put the luggage in Holly’s car and Maura got in. Holly saw her bending over and could see her bum cheeks. “Tell me you are wearing knickers” Holly asked. “Of course not but I am wearing a thong” Maura replied showing Holly her red thong waistband. “I was bent over trying to pick up my luggage when Paul and Declan” offered to help.” she added. “I bet they did” Holly thought as they drove off.

About 10 minutes into the journey Maura said “I really need a cigarette” and went to get one out of her bag. “Do you mind I’m a non smoker” Holly said. “Oh I’m so sorry, I totally forgot” said Maura putting her cigarette away. “I’m tying to give up and have cut down by half. I can smoke in the smoking area of the Ferry” Maura added. “You can wind the window down and lean out if you want a quick drag” Holly suggested remembering that Maura went crazy on Love Island when she was denied a cigarette. “No it was rude of me to ask, I’m really doing my best to be much more considerate of others” Maura replied. “Look I’m sorry if I embarrassed you with Paul and Declan but them thinking you were Holly Willoughby was funny. I think you are the perfect person for me to open up to” Maura added. Holly began to feel happy that she may get a good interview of Maura. Sure Maura was very naughty and liked to tease Holly but it was all good fun and the Maura she had read about as a diva wasn’t this nice considerate person.

Maura directed Holly where to park up and she generously paid for their tickets. They stood watching the view across the bay enjoying the crossing when an elderly man walked up to Maura and slapped her on the bum. “Hello Maura” he said. She shot round and said “Oh hello Padraig” and gave him a hug. “This is Padraig he’s the eldest resident of Inishmore. You turned 92 last week didn’t you” Maura said and introduced him to Holly. “This is Holly, she’s going to interview me” Maura said. Padraig took Holly’s hand and kissed it and raised his hat to her. “What a charming old gentleman” Holly said and turned back round as Maura carried on chatting to Padraig before he went to sit down. “How did he recognise you?” Holly asked Maura just as Holly felt a firm slap on her bum she screamed and shot round and Padraig was stood there. “I forgot to say how much I enjoy watching you on This Morning” he said and raised his hat again. “That was very naughty Padraig, you must behave yourself” Maura said trying not to laugh as he walked back off. “He slapped my bum” Holly said. “Yes, that’s how he recognises women at his age” Maura said. “I don’t like having my bum slapped like that” Holly said. “How do you want him to do it then” teased Maura. “This isn’t funny” Holly said. “It is and he thought you were Holly Willoughby too” laughed Maura.

Holly and Maura began to chat and Holly asked her about the rumours she had been seeing Alexander her Pro Partner from Dancing On Ice and the recent split from his wife Carlotta. “I was very sorry when they split up and they are both very good friends of mine. Carlotta taught me a valuable lesson too when she came to stay with me on the island” Maura said frankly and showed Holly a series of nice text chats she’d had with both Alexander and Carlotta. The talk then moved onto Maura’s public persona and her Ann Summers work. Holly asked if Maura felt comfortable wearing sexy outfits to promote brands. “Well you do Corporate Conferences don’t you?” Maura asked. “Yes, but it’s a bit different ” Holly replied. “Well it’s promoting things and earning a living. I’ve got to make my money whilst I can. A younger hotter model could come along soon and she’d be flavour of the month” Maura said. “So you don’t mind wearing very revealing outfits in photoshoots?” Holly asked. “Well I guess you wear a bikini on holiday and like to look good on your bulletins?” Maura responded. “I guess so” replied Holly.

“What about getting your boobs out on the Tiswas/OTT reunion?” Holly asked. “A lot more famous and much older women than me put a lot more on show” Maura responded. “I hear that you were nearly invited on there?” she added. “Yes, but they went with Christine Lampard over me.” Holly replied. “What would you have done if you’d gone on and got gunged and been asked to strip?” Maura asked. “I might have been up for a gunging but I don’t know about stripping” Holly replied. “So you are looking to maximize your earnings potential then?” asked Holly. “Yes, within reason, a rich guy offered me enough money to last me 10 years if I spent the night with him. But I said no way, I do have standards” Maura replied. Holly began to appreciate Maura’s honesty.

“Can I ask a very personal question?” Holly asked. “I’ve never tried it as I heard it hurt too much. What about you?” replied Maura. “Only once, no sorry I was going to ask something else” said a flustered Holly. “Well I never Holly Hamilton” replied Maura as Holly went as red as her skirt. “No ask away” Maura added. “How many guys have you slept with?” Holly asked. “Truth and Dare?” said Maura. “What?” asked Holly. “I’ll tell you the truth, if you answer the question too and if you do a dare that I’ll do too. I’ll tell you what vital lesson Carlotta taught me before you leave tomorrow” Maura offered. “Okay then as long as I don’t have to flash my boobs at Padraig” Holly joked. “If he was a few years younger then maybe but it might be a bit too much for him” Maura replied laughing. “Okay then I’ve slept with 6 guys in my life” she added. “Interesting” said Holly. “I bet you thought it was going to be much higher?” Maura asked. “I’d rather not say” said Holly defensively. “Look I trust you and respect you so if you thought so please say yes” Maura asked. “Okay, yes I’m so sorry” Holly replied. “That is fine you were honest so I respect that. Now tell me how many you’ve been with?” she asked Holly. “Three, my teenage boyfriend, a fellow student at Uni and the guy who is my husband now” Holly said. “Well I’ve had twice as many as you” said Maura joking.

“I bet you think I’m a right square” said Holly. “No you answered a personal question honestly and I appreciate that. Just imagine if I had been with as many men as you probably thought I’d been with and you’d been with half as many we’d both be right sluts” said Maura laughing, Holly was a bit horrified but she began to laugh Maura was trying to shock a bit but she was being open and giving Holly a good story. “What is the dare?” Holly asked. “Feel the breeze, go into the loo and remove your knickers or thong. Come back out here and feel the bay breeze around you know where” Maura challenged Holly. “I really don’t know” Holly replied. “Padraig cannot bend down that low now and no-one will see anything. I’ll go first and there is that exclusive in it for you. But you have to totally earn my trust” Maura said reassuring Holly. “Okay then, I’ll do it” said Holly. Maura went to the loo and emerged a couple of minutes later. She showed Holly her red thong and said “Your turn”. Holly went to the loo and took a deep breath and took her knickers off ensuring her slimline skirt was tight to her legs she reemerged. “How does it feel” Maura asked “Quite liberating actually” Holly said when suddenly there was a gust of wind and Holly gasped. “You felt the breeze then” Maura said laughing and added “Let’s see the proof?” Holly took a pair of very sensible white knickers out of her handbag. Maura took her thong back out as they were approaching the island. “Dare you to wave them to the people on the dockside?” Maura challenged Holly. “Why not lets wave each others?” Holly challenged back and handed Maura her knickers and took Maura’s thong from her.

They waived them and both laughed. Suddenly there was a breeze and Maura let go of Holly’s knickers and they blew away into the sea. Holly screamed and stormed “Two can play at that game” and threw Maura’s thong into the sea. “I hoped you’d do that. But there is only ever one winner” replied Maura pulling down the waistband of her skirt to reveal she was now wearing a black thong. “You cheated” Holly screamed. “Where in the rules does it say you cannot put another pair on and I guessed you’d put your emergency pair on” Maura replied. “They are in my laptop case actually” stormed Holly. “Well you will have to really feel the breeze until we dock in 5 minutes as we have to get ready to disembark now” Maura said laughing. Holly was still fuming but began to see the funny side of it. “You’ve never gone like this on a sexy date with your hubby?” Maura asked. “No, I haven’t” retorted Holly. “Try it, he’d love it and you can have any of my Ann Summers stuff you like when we get to the cottage” Maura promised.

The ladies left the ferry and were going to get into their taxi when they both felt a slap on their bums and heard a voice “See you ladies”. “Padraig! behave yourself” said Maura mock scolding him. “Hope you enjoyed feeling the breeze Holly” he added raising his hat. “How could he know and he smacked my bum again” Holly ranted. “He’s a real connoisseur” Maura joked. They took a short cab ride to Maura’s holiday cottage and Maura paid and thanked the taxi driver. He looked at Holly and said “I’m sure you —“. “I’m not Holly Willoughby” Holly said cutting him off but trying not to laugh. “No I was saying I’m sure you are feeling the breeze when I saw you get out the car” he replied. As he drove off Holly said “How does he know, is he Padraig’s grandson or something?” “No it’s his great grandson. Padraig’s grandson was picking Padraig up” Maura said and began to laugh.

Maura showed Holly to a very nice room and then lead her into Maura’s room and opened a wardrobe and a couple of draws said “Choose anything you want to borrow” and pointed to a draw of Ann Summers stuff and added “All those a freebies take a few and give your hubby a surprise”. “I’d probably rather not thanks” Holly replied. “Okay go and put on your other pair of sensible white knickers” Maura joked. Holly still didn’t quite know what to make of Maura. On one hand she had embarrassed her and kept teasing her but on the other she was genuinely nice and wanted to present her side of things and clearly trusted Holly.

Holly looked through Maura’s clothes and selected something to wear when Maura walked back in with a glass of red wine for each of them.” Lets see what you’ve chosen” Maura said and Holly showed Maura her choice. Holly picked up her glass of wine but suddenly an alarm went off. It made Holly jump and she spilt the wine down her white blouse. “Oh no” she screamed. “Sorry I’d just reset the smoke alarm after I’d been outside for a smoke” Maura said. “Have you got anything that can remove a wine stain?” Holly asked. “I don’t think so” said Maura “But I can put them into soak. Best get them off” she added and started to unzip Holly’s skirt. “I’m okay thanks I’ll get undressed and then shower” Holly protested. “No get undressed and whilst you shower I’ll try to see if I’ve got anything to remove the stains with and get them on a warm wash” Maura insisted.

Reluctantly Holly let Maura undo her red skirt which had some wine on it to reveal she had already put her emergency hair of knickers on which were luckily only slightly wine stained. “Whip them off and borrow some of mine of feel the breeze” Maura joked. “No I’ll keep this pair in sight” Holly insisted. She took off her white short sleeved top and stood there in a wine stained bra. “For ***** sake Holly, don’t be so prudish” Maura said and as if to prove a point took her bra top and short skirt off and stood there in just her black thong. “See you can admire me now” Maura joked. “You have got an amazing figure” said Holly complimenting her. “And you have too” replied Maura. Holly took her bra off and let her pert breasts bounce free. “Wow they are lovely.” said Maura admiring Holly’s boobs as she took her clothes to wash.

Holly had a nice warm shower and realised that the clothes she had chosen to wear were still in Maura’s room. She quietly sneaked back into the room and was just about to start getting dressed when a naked Maura waltzed back in. “Not a natural blonde then Holly” said Maura looking at Holly’s thin dark muff strip. “My god I’m sorry this is so embarrassing” said Holly grabbing her towel. “Why?” asked Maura laughing. Holly put her remaining wine soaked pair of knickers back on despite several offers of a choice from Maura’s thong draw. She put on the shorts she had chosen and said “I’ve got to go and get my other bra out”. “No you have to wear that top braless. You’ll look great in it with your amazing boobs” Maura encouraged her. “I don’t know?” said Holly. “Well try it on and see how it looks and you feel at least?” suggested Maura. “Okay” said Holly and slipped the vest top on. Maura adjusted it slightly and styled Holly’s hair. “You look gorgeous” she encouraged. Holly looked at herself in a mirror and admitted “I do look nice and it fits so well”. “Let’s take a photo and send it to your hubby” Maura suggested getting out her phone. She took the snap and forwarded it to Holly who was really pleased with what she saw despite deciding to put her backpack on to have the photo taken.

“I’ve arranged for a local photographer to come and take some snaps of us as I’m guessing the interview might be transcripted online or in the press” Maura said and decided to wear the following outfit.

“Wow you look amazing” Holly said. “You can try it on or even have it. Why not send a photo of you wearing it to your husband, He’ll be as horny as Paul and Declan when he sees it” Maura suggested. “I don’t really think it’s my look” Holly replied but began to think it would be a fun surprise for her husband.

Dermot the photographer turned up. “Is he related to Padraig?” Holly joked. “Not directly but his mother is married to one of Padraig’s nephews” Maura said. “You’ve met Paddy then?” Dermot asked Holly. “Yes, he was interesting” Holly replied. “I guess he greeted you in his own style” Dermot joked. “Yes, but he could be arrested for that” Holly replied. “He was once, he did it to the island’s constable and she didn’t like it” Dermot said as everyone laughed. “Nice to see you again Maura” Dermot said. “Have you fully got cleaned up after the Queen of Spring?” he asked. “Yes thanks” said Maura. “What was Queen of Spring?” Holly asked. “Well the weekend after St Patrick’s Day. We have a King or Queen of Spring a younger local person is stuck on the back of a lorry and paraded through the village and we throw all the St Paddy day left overs at them” Dermot said. “This year it was Maura. We’d wanted her to do it for years but she always refused and then at the last minute she pops up on the back of a van in just a thong and got covered in everything. She suddenly changed somehow” he added. (See story Carlotta’s revenge dated 21st March)

Maura struck some sexy poses for Dermot and then she went inside and returned with two big cream cakes in tribute to her headbanger on Tiswas/OTT revival. She held the cakes naughtily in her hands and licked suggestively at the cream. She was being naughty but was controlling the shoot making all the suggestions in a way Holly admired. Maura called Holly over and got her to hold one of the cakes. They giggled as Dermot took some fun photos. “Push my face into it and then push it up into my hair and down into my boobs”Maura whispered to Holly. “I don’t feel comfortable doing it”Holly pleaded. “Well I’ll push it into your face if you don’t” teased Maura. Holly seeing this as a challenge pushed Maura’s face right into the cake she was holding. Ran it up into her hair and started rubbing cream into Maura’s boobs. Maura was a bit in shock at the force of it but whispered “Great stuff” as Dermot snapped away.

They picked up the other cake and held it smiling as Demot continued to snap away. Suddenly without warning pushed Holly’s face right into the cake and up into her blonde hair. Holly screamed “You ****” as Maura grabbed more cream and stuck it down Holly’s vest top. “Fight me” challenged Maura without thinking Holly dived on top of Maura and started sticking cream down her bra top as she held her down. “That’s it give it to me” encouraged Maura laughing. Holly was so possessed that she hadn’t realised she’d pulled Maura’s boobs out of her bra and stuck a load of cream down her knickers. Dermot had stopped photographing when Maura’s boobs came out as she had agreed that with him. “I give up” Maura pleaded crying with laughter. Holly looking at what she had done to Maura was mortified. “I’m so sorry” she pleaded. “Don’t worry I got exactly the reaction I wanted” Maura reassured her adjusting her boobs back into her bra. Dermot showed the girls the photos he had taken and both had tears of laughter running down their faces. “Oh your reaction was priceless Holly” Maura said. “I’ve still got cream down my tits” Holly replied unable to stop laughing. “I’ll send the photos to you Maura and you’ve got artistic control as agreed” Dermot said as he was leaving. He turned round to Holly and added “I used to love you throwing the cakes on Ministry of Mayhem”. Holly looked at Maura and both burst out laughing again.

After clearing up and having individual warm showers ( Maura had suggested they shower together but Holly politely refused) they had a lovely evening chatting and laughing. Drinking wine and eating pasta. Maura lent Holly a pair of her “Fanny Flutters” pajamas and wore a pair herself. Maura showed Holly the video of her Queen of Spring gunging and both had a laugh watching it.

Holly got most of her interview and even quietly tried on some of Maura’s Ann Summers lingerie and sent some naughty selfies to her husband who loved them.

Maura suggested in the morning they go for a swim in the sea and she’d show Holly the outdoor shower in the cottage outhouse. Holly said she was up for this and both turned in for the night. Maura may have thrown Holly’s knickers in the sea and put a cake in her face but she was just having fun and being around Maura made Holly feel much more confident. She’d gone braless and felt so sexy, she’d shoved cream goodness knows where on Maura and she’d never felt as naughty as when she put on the lingerie and sent her hubby some cheeky selfies. He couldn’t wait for her to get home he’d told her.

Holly settled down in her room but was woken with a start by an alarm. Maura ran into the room brandishing a fire extinguisher and started spraying Holly who had shot up in bed and the radiator next to her with foam. Maura emptied the entire extinguisher over Holly and the radiator. Holly slowly wiped the foam from her eyes and both said “What have you done?”. “You set the alarm off and I could smell burning” Maura said. Holly still in shock said “I’d washed my knickers and put them to dry on the radiator but I had to turn it up”. “Oh my god I forgot to say don’t adjust the radiator as it is faulty if you turn it up too much. I’m so sorry” said Maura. “It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have washed my knickers out and tried to dry them. I could have burnt the cottage down” Holly pleaded. “Who still washes their knickers and tries to dry them overnight?” said Maura laughing. “Oh damn, I’ve no knickers to wear tomorrow” Holly said also laughing. “You aren’t borrowing any of mine you’ll have to travel back to Belfast feeling the breeze or until you can find a shop which sells your sensible white knickers” Maura said joking. “No you can have any of mine to wear” she added. “I’m soaked and the bed is soaked. What can I do?” Holly asked. “You have another warm shower and you bunk in with me” Maura said. “I can sleep on the sofa” Holly said. “No you will sleep next to me. I’m not going to try anything on I promise” Maura said.

Holly had her shower whilst Maura stripped down the bed, dried up and disposed of Holly’s smoldering knickers. Holly came out in a towel and asked Maura if she had any other pyjamas. “No I only bought two pairs, you’ll have to sleep in the nude” Maura said. “You’ve got other things I could wear” Holly pleaded. “Okay you have these and I’ll sleep in the nude” Maura replied taking her pyjamas off and standing there naked. Holly looked at Maura’s amazing naked body and her cleanly waxed muff. “You should have a nice wax down there” she joked and held out her pyjamas to Holly. She then threw Holly a t-shirt and pair of shorts and burst out laughing. “You are a bugger” Holly said as Maura put her pyjamas back on and they both climbed into Maura’s bed.

Holly woke at about 8:30am to find a note on her pillow saying “You were amazing last night love Maura” she burst out laughing at it as Maura waltzed into the room in a bikini saying “Are you up for that morning swim after breakfast?”

Holly get washed and had a light breakfast and Maura showed Holly a few of her bikinis she could borrow. “I only have two pieces” she said smiling. Holly chose one of the more conservative ones she could find and teamed it with a nice floral skirt.

“You look gorgeous” Maura complimented her. As they walked down to the sea. They talked and giggled happily with Holly admitting she had tried on some of the Ann Summers stuff and sent selfies to her husband. “Go Holly” said Maura. “Can you tell me what Carlotta taught you now?” Holly asked. “Well I’d set her up to be Queen of Spring but she tricked me by running off with my bikini top when we went swimming and then she lured me onto the back of the lorry so turned the tables on me ” Maura admitted. “So you’d invited her here to take your place?” asked Holly. “Yes and I got my just deserts” Maura replied. “So that changed your behaviour?” Holly probed. “Yes I was stuck on that lorry topless in a thong, covered in silage, potatoes, cabbage, soup, you name it. I felt mad and so embarrassed but I heard everyone chanting “Maura and saying what a good sport I was and how they thought I was so brave to do it. So I stopped being self obsessed Maura and became the naughty fun loving Maura you see today” Maura admitted. “That is a lovely story” said Holly giving Maura a hug.

They had a fun swim in the sea and there was no stripping off so they made their way back to the cottage. “Do you fancy being our Queen of Spring in 2022?” Maura asked Holly. “Probably not” Holly replied laughing. “Do you want to try the outdoor shower in the outhouse?” Maura asked. “Sure” said Holly. They went to the brick outhouse in the cottage back garden. There was what looked like a portable shower inside but there was a gap between the top of the wall and the building’s roof. Maura stripped off and got inside the shower. “Can you close the catch on the door?” she asked Holly. “Certainly” Holly replied and closed Maura in. Maura pulled a lever and some water started to run over her it seemed to be cold but she was laughing and had a quick shower before asking Holly to let her out and picking up a towel. “Do you fancy a go, it’s a bit chilly but will really perk you up”Maura said. “Try to stop me” Holly replied. She stripped off and jumped in the shower. Maura closed the catch. Holly pulled the lever and nothing happened. She pulled it again a bit harder and she was hit with a cascade of ice cold water. She screamed as she stood there drenched and shivering. “You’ve broken it. I’ll get the step ladder and look at the outside plumbing” Maura said and disappeared.

She popped up with her head and shoulders in the gap between the top of the wall and the roof. “It seems okay but try the other leaver” Maura said pointing to a second smaller leaver. Holly pulled it but got hit with a deluge of cold lumpy gravy. It stuck to her long blonde hair which was plastered down and the thick dark mass slowly ran down Holly’s body. She stood there in shock. “Did you pull the wrong lever?” Maura said innocently. “No I ****** well didn’t” screamed Holly coughing some gravy out of her mouth. “You better let me out of here now you ******* bitch” she ranted. “No I’m going to crown you my own private Queen of Spring” Maura added laughing. Holly pulled at the door trying to get out. “The more you struggle the messier you get” teased Maura. “I ******* hate you” Holly screamed but almost laughing at her predicament.

“You put a cake in my face” Maura said “Only because you asked me to” Holly pleaded. “Sorry the punishment for that is cabbage soup” Maura said and threw a bucket of thick green cabbage mush over Holly’s head. “You wait until I get out” Holly stormed. “Rub it in and give yourself a nice cabbage and gravy shampoo. If you want to get out sooner” Maura said. Holly gave her a filthy look and gave herself a shampoo until her hair was a matted mess. “Now rub it into those fantastic boobs” Maura continued. Holly reluctantly obeyed her. “Very good. We’ll move on” Maura said and threw a bucket of pig swill over Holly’s head. She stood there with her eyes closed still struggling to believe what was happening to her. Say “Everyone thinks I’m Holly Willoughby” Maura continued. “Everyone thinks I’m Holly Willoughby” Holly said. “What was that?” Holly asked. “Pig Swill” Maura replied. “Pig Swill!” screamed Holly. “Try this load of left overs from the local pub” Maura said and threw a bucket of mash, peas, gravy and carrots over Holly’s head. “Oh and have some silage too” she added as she threw a bucket of thick muddy silage over Holly’s head. Hit by this onslaught Holly struggled to clear her eyes and stood their totally destroyed and humiliated. “Say my name is Holly Hamilton, I’m sexy, confident, clever and I’m going to shag my husband senseless when I get home” Maura said. Holly repeated it rather whimpering. “Here have some Irish Seafood Chowder” said Maura throwing a bucket containing a fishy quite sauce over Holly’s head.

Maura disappeared and then reappeared by the side of the shower and opened the catch. Holly seemed a bit upset and Maura went to hug her. But Holly pulled Maura’s towel off and shut her in the shower. Holly then appeared in the gap and said “Not so funny now?” “It’s funny” Maura replied taunting her. “Here try some Guinness” said Holly grabbing a bucket and tipping the stale Guiness over Maura’s head. “Guinness is good for my hair” Maura said teasing Holly. “Well this isn’t” Holly said a threw a bucket of rancid cream trifle over Maura’s head. It turned her long dark hair into a straggly mess. “Shampoo it in” Holly demanded and as Maura shampooed it in. Holly dumped another bucket of silage over Maura. It turned her into a dark muddy mess. Holly looked back and all the buckets were empty. “Roll around in it” she ordered Maura and Maura did so laughing.

Just then Holly heard a voice “Morning Holly” she looked round and it was Padraig walking up the nearby lane. “Morning Padraig” she replied. “Morning Padraig” Maura shouted. “By the way Holly do you know you are naked?” Maura pointed out. “What the ****” screamed Holly jumping down off the step ladder and running back into the outhouse. She opened the catch but Maura pulled her into the shower and they both burst out laughing. “If you’ve finished off Padraig ” Maura joked. They then started rolling around in all the gunge before they sat up and hugged each other. “You are so naughty” Holly said to Maura. “You gave as good as you got and if I’ve given you a great interview and made you more sexy and confident then that’s what I wanted to do” Maura replied. Holly reached up and pulled the first lever and another load of ice cold water engulfed them they stood there shuddering and shivering. “Once more then we can go and have a warm shower together” Maura said. “You bet” said a giggling Holly and pulled the leaver again and another load of cold water hit them as they tried to wash as much mush off them as possible.

They ran laughing naked back to the cottage and jumped in a nice warm shower and washed each other off. As they got dried Maura again asked Holly if she’d choose something from her wardrobe to wear home. Holly finished drying herself and looked at all the sexy clothes and chose this very sexy outfit as modeled by Maura here.

Holly teamed this with a very sexy LBD which she subsequently wore many times.

“Your husband is going to shag the arse off you when he sees you in this” Maura said as she took some photos of Holly in the underwear and dress to send to her husband as a teaser. “I hope so. If I end up pregnant you’ll be a godparent” Holly joked. “I’m going to stay on a few days. I can easily get a train from Galway Ferry Terminal back to Longford” Maura said.

Maura gave Holly her blouse, skirt and bra all partially cleaned of wine back and called her a taxi and they hugged goodbye. Holly had put a baseball cap on as she had been seen naked by Padraig . She had an uneventful taxi journey and caught her ferry but halfway through the journey she overheard to men talking. One said “Old Padraig reckons he saw Holly Willoughby naked, covered in food up a stepladder in Maura Higgins’ back garden”. “Come off it, he’s been on the guinness earlier than usual” the second one said. “No he swears blind as it was definitely her bum he said he saw” the first one concluded. Holly burst out laughing and texted Maura about it ending the message “For once pleased to be confused with Holly Willoughby”

Tiswas/OTT revival will be finished in next few days I promise and would there be any interest in a story featuring Sally Bundock from BBC Business News or Lucrezia Millarini from ITN?

The winners for Stage 2 are:

Kimberly Walsh wins Group A, followed by Melina, Candice, and Maria.

For Group B, Lisa Scott-Lee wins, followed by Stacy Keibler.

For Group C, Myleene Klass dominated, with Delta Goodrem coming in 2nd.

For Group D, Holly Willoughby was the winner, and Zoe Salmon came in 2nd.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. 

The usual diet of insurance, weight loss, gym and exercise equipment advertisements was momentarily interrupted. The view showed a spot-lit blonde woman stood in what was obviously the Immerse the Nurse studio. She wore a red scoop-necked one-piece swimsuit similar to the iconic “Baywatch” swimwear.

She grinned for the camera. “Hi, I’m Amy Willerton and I’ve been randomly selected by that silly roulette wheel to face the next Healthy Celebrity Dunking.” She pointed faux-angrily at the wheel standing nearby, its pointer still inside segment twenty-four.

“So, Part One of Match Two should air over the weekend,” Amy continued. “And my state of undress will be in your hands or rather it’ll come down to how much is donated. So, see you then. Byeeee!” The shot faded out as two buckets of water were splashed over Amy soaking her from head to toe.

Author’s note: In a similar manner to before Match One, a poll to decide how little Amy ends up wearing is below. It closes at 22:00 (10:00pm) GMT tonight, or for American readers; 5 pm EST.

Frank walked back into the studio. “Very good, well done Shona, great job!”

Shona smiled, and walked over and whispered something to Frank.

“Right, I’ll leave you girls to it, let me know if you need anything Shona.”

“Thanks Frank, we’ll be fine, the girls will have a great time. OK Millie, you’re going to go first if that’s ok. Veronica if you’d like to step outside, you can watch through the window there”.

Veronica made her way out, leaving Millie and Shona in the studio.

“How are you feeling Millie?”

“I’m a little nervous”.

“It’s fine, just try to relax and enjoy it as much as you can”.

Millie nodded.

“Right then, if you’re ready let’s do it! Now remember, this is only a trial run and we won’t be using this shoot for anything, unless you agree to it first, ok?”

Millie nodded again, and Shona turned the cameras on.

Shona turned to camera to do her introduction.

“Hi, and welcome to MAD, I’m Shona, and this is Millie, say hello Millie”. Shona gestured to Millie who did her best to smile and wave.

Sat on a stool in a yellow ball gown, Millie looked stunning, this was the perfect set up, and Shona couldn’t be more pleased with her recruitment efforts to date.

“So, today Millie is going to be auditioning for the part in our brand new feature film, Beauty and the Beans”.

Millie gulped a little, she wasn’t sure about this.

“Right then Millie, are you ready for your audition?”

Millie, trying her best to sound confident, replied with a yes.

At this point Shona smiled at the camera, and then turned and walked behind Millie, picking up a small pot of baked beans as she did.

She positioned herself just behind Millie and slowly began to pour the beans on to her long brownish hair. Millie did her best to sit there and keep looking at her camera which is what she had been advised to do.

As the steady stream finished, she wiped some of the beans away and then smiled at the camera. Perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all, she thought.

Shona then picked up a larger jug, filled with more beans, and repeated the process, pouring the beans slowly over Millie’s head, pouting at the camera in the process.

Millie tried to retain her composure again, after all of this wasn’t for her, she’d never have to do it again and no one would ever know.

“How’s that Millie?” Shona asked tenderly.

“Hmm, Yeh, it’s not too bad, I mean I like beans but I’ve never had them like this before, and the dress is ruined!”

“You think it’s already ruined?” Shona said as she picked up the third and final container, this time a bucket, full of baked beans.

“After 3”, said Shona, “1…2…..3…”

She turned the bucket up quickly, sending an enormous quantity of beans tumbling all over Millie, who was visibly shocked this time.

The beans were everywhere, all down Millie’s beautiful long light brown hair, and all over the dress, with a large amount now sat in her lap. More beans, and a lot of juice continued to run down Millie’s face.

As the torrent finished, Shona looked at the camera again, and smiled.

Millie just sat there, she didn’t really know what to do now, she was covered, absolutely covered. She watched as Shona concluded the video and turned the camera off.

Excitedly, Shona said, “you were great Millie, well done! How was it?”

“It was ok, I wasn’t expecting so many beans at the end, how many of these have you done?”

“Haha, good to get you used to it, I think you’ll make a great model”, she said, “oh, and me, I’ve done loads, you can check some of the out after if you like?”

Millie nodded, “oh, ok, great thanks, where do I get cleaned up?”

“We’ve got showers down the corridor, they’re very good, don’t worry”.

Millie smiled, and Shona helped her up and showed her to the showers. The long yellow dress was soaked in beans. As Millie left the room, Shona smiled to herself, she checked her phone, and noticed she had missed a call from Lacey. Now she had seen Millie in action she was desperate to get Lacey on board.

Shona disappeared, leaving Veronica sat behind the glass, now looking at an empty room. She had been watching in awe, waiting in anticipation of her turn to film. She had taken the occasional moment to look at her phone too, with a further sense of anticipation as she waited for a reply from Martin, after she asked him about Shona.

She was still messing with her phone, when Shona walked in.

“Right, I think we are ready for you now, Veronica, if you’d like to follow me?”

Veronica shot up and followed Shona round to the studio, she couldn’t wait to do this.

Millie meanwhile was now almost clean, and was getting the last of the beans out of her hair. She had been wondering whether or not this was for her. Whilst it was a great way to earn some money while she was studying, it was a lot of effort every time, and what would her parents think if they knew what she was doing?

She got herself dressed and made her way round to the room at the back of the studio. She thought that watching the end of Veronica’s shoot might help her decide if this was really for her or not. As she opened the door, she looked up and saw a familiar figure watching through the glass.

“Lacey? What are you doing here?”

Hey, so I wrote most of this for fun after the end of my story, cutting it out from my submission because obviously it did not fit the brief for an entry. However I’ve finished it off and wanted to share anyway so hopefully some might enjoy.

Follow up from this one https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2020/04/15/ggp2020-%e2%88%92-story-c/

Hayley stood in the ‘selfie zone’ whilst she wanted to get cleaned up, instead of dripping with all the messy slop that had soaked through her clothes and now pressed against her body, goosebumps starting to show the longer she stood posing with the fans that had turned up.

The first few had made sure to stand far enough away from her to not get messy themselves, but now the fans had closed in and would basically put their arm around her for their picture, and it was because of being a good sport and for the fans that she continued to pose and force a smile for each photo taken.

Rachel meanwhile stood watching, she was still wearing her clean tight yellow dress and was having a lot of fun, one of the producers had asked her to hang around until they had cleaned up the gunk dunk and seat as she had been told they needed to film a promo that would be shown ahead of the re-runs.

Even if she hadn’t been asked to hang around there was no way she would have left whilst the sexy Hayley stood dripping mess over the fans who surrounded her for a photo, neither could tell if they were fans of Hayley specifically or if they just looked posing next to a destroyed celebrity.

Rachel then notice some more mess over to the side of the studio and asked a producer if she could use it. After one of the producers shrugged their shoulders Rachel started to load up the trolley with as much stuff as she could fit onto it, grabbing a pair of handcuffs to go with it she started to make her way to the unaware Hayley.

“So guys I think you all deserve a bit more fun with champion” Rachel said with a devilish grin as she picked up the cuffs and with the help of some fans handcuffed Hayley’s arms behind her back. She then picked up the first pie from the trolley and smashed it into Hayley’s face sending custard and cream all over her and splashing some of the fans who were unfortunate enough to be behind her, causing shrieks from everyone.

Rachel stepped back to watch the onslaught with relish, as the fans quickly started to grab at the trolley and smash and pour various food types over the now completely helpless Hayley, she was simply unable to react and just stood still as pie after pie smashed into her face and breasts, sending the creamy innards all over her repeatedly.

She then screamed out in shock as someone had tugged back her trousers and started to pour baked beans inside her, she felt them get inside her thong and squirmed as the lumpy mess dribbled down her inner thigh, as eggs soon followed inside.

After the ordeal, Rachel finally handed someone the keys to the handcuffs and instructed them to undo them, ensuring she was able to keep a safe distance from the sloppy Hayley herself. As Hayley headed off to finally get cleaned up she bumped into one of the producers who thanked her for being a great sport, especially for the bit she had just been put through.

The producer said they felt a little guilty as Rachel had been told to wait around for them to sort things out with the tank, so they could film a promo trailer and if that hadn’t been the case Rachel might have headed straight home meaning Hayley would have also been able to leave. Hayley then replied to the producer with “Actually I do have an idea if that’s okay?”

Rachel meanwhile was positioning herself carefully onto the seat at the bottom of the gunk dunk, she had already filmed the clip of her standing next to the tank and had now been asked to do some bits whilst sat in the place the two contestants would in theory be, she could be heard saying.

“Our two ladies will be sat in these seats, and will be attempting to ask questions that I asked, if they get it incorrect or their opponent answers one correctly they will have the unfortunate feeling of being cranked up” as she said those words Rachel felt a jolt as the chair slowly ascended up the ramp one bit.

Even though she knew she wasn’t going to get messy, she could help but feel her heart beat a little faster as she thought back to watching Sam and Hayley competing earlier on, much preferring the safety of the podium she’d been standing at than her now uncomfortable plastic seat.

“Of course, if they get raised up one level, it means they are closer to losing but it isn’t all bad and they won’t be too worried just yet, however if they were to end up being cranked up once again, then they might start to feel more nervous.”

Again as she said the words ‘cranked up’ the chair jolted into life and she was moved higher up the ramp, the only good thing she felt about this is she was at least further away from the mess and she was convinced it had started to smell a little off, although she wasn’t sure if that was just her brain tricking her based on its manky brown and purple appearance.

Rachel’s teasing of what would be facing the girls until she sat just below the final step and announced “Of course only one of these seats will be going up to the final level, and whoever that will be is going to be the one who finds herself a very mucky pup indeed” she said with delight thinking back to watching the slightly messy Hayley being sent down the ramp and splashing into the gunk below.

The seat moved up to the final level, and Rachel was surprised by just how high up it was, how much of the studio she could see, and of course how the gunk dunk now loomed in the distance at the end of the ramp. “Once our loser reaches this point there really is only one way down, and it will be so messy for them” she teased.

“Hey, so have you got all the footage you need for the promo?” Rachel said shifting in the seat trying to avoid flashing her underwear thanks to the short tight yellow dress she was wearing, now very keen to be let off the seat and back on firm ground.

To Rachel’s surprise Hayley walked back onto the stage area, now having had a quick wash she was wearing a tight grey tank top, and as Rachel could see her nipples, she knew she’d either not bothered or hadn’t found a bra to wear.

“Actually, Rachel do you know what this gunk dunk set is for?” Hayley questioned.

Rachel thought it was a strange question, having dunk Hayley not long before on the GGP results show, “Yes, obviously it’s the set designed for the champion of the Gunge Grand Prix, which I should add you should know as the winner” she teased.

However to Rachel’s confusion Hayley simply smirked at her. “Well I guess you are partly correct, and thanks for reminding me about my dunking because that leads me nicely onto the answer of my question.

This here is the set normally used for Bet Your Own back, and well I think it’s only fair if I get my own back on you. She said with a devilish grin that matched Rachel’s from during the show.

“Nooo!” Rachel cried out as she tried to plead with Hayley who was having none of it, she desperately tried to convince the actress to let her go home cleanly.

Unfortunately for her it was all in vain when Hayley welcomed the audience back into the seating area, and then after a dramatic pause she pushed a button and the klaxon sounded out.  There were loud cheers as the chair started to move.

Rachel was sure they were louder than what Hayley had received during the show which made her feel proud to be so popular, before she shook the thought out of her mind remembering they were cheering her descent.

Before she had time to do anything else Rachel had reached the end of the ramp and she screamed out as she was flung up into the air and then came crashing down, with her legs spread apart providing the audience with an upskirt moment before she hit the gunge bum first.

After her bottom had broke the surface layer of muck she disappeared under the surface to a even louder roar from the audience clearly happy saying the blonde countdown host trashed, when Rachel reappeared she no longer looked the composed in control lady but a loser as bit of purple goo dribbled down her face.

She could feel the cold slimy substance soaking through the tin material of her dress, mentally kicking herself for wearing one of her favourite dresses knowing it would not be surviving this ordeal. She had completely forgotten that when she stood in the pit a hopper was stored above her head, and on key it opened up dumping a torrent of thick chunky slime which crashed down onto her head like in a hail storm, leading her to panic and dunk her own head in the gunge to avoid the chunky goo much to everyone’s amusement and her own embarrassment.

After she was left to wallow in the gunge pit for a while, she eventually asked to be helped out of the pit, Hayley turned to the audience and asked if anyone was willing to help her out, whilst a few blokes put their hands up she noticed one who merely nodded and picked him, simply because she thought he looked hot.

The strong muscular man walked down on the stage area and introduced himself as Ben, Hayley couldn’t help but check him out in his tight top, even going as far as to feel up his muscles before stepping out of the way and letting him approach Rachel who had managed to wipe some of the gunk out of her face and had waded over to the side where Ben was heading.

Rachel had similar thoughts to Hayley, as she appreciated the man standing before her reaching out his arm to take hers, as he started to lift her out of the pit she had the cheeky thought to pull him thinking it would be fun to ‘wrestle’ with him.

The only flaw in her plan as she tried to make him fall was that she had completely forgotten to account for how much stronger he was than her, and so as he caught his balance her simply lifted her up before flinging her down into the backwards into the gunge again, and left spluttering after taking another mouthful of gunge.

After being made to apologise much to Hayley’s delight Rachel was finally helped out of the gungepit, but like Hayley before she was not allowed to get cleaned ups straight away as she found herself being led over to the selfie zone, and Hayley handed Ben the handcuffs which meant Rachel had no way to protect herself from the mess she assumed was about to follow.

The 5”5 blonde presenter stood with her over 6 foot tall ‘bodyguard’ behind her ensuring she didn’t try to escape as Hayley welcomed audience members to come down and pie Rachel in the face, she knew that he was getting a few bits of pie as it exploded off her face but he didn’t seem to mind as he held Rachel still.

Rachel moved her hands back the best she could feeling at his crotch and trying to tease him a little as she received a banana cream pie right to her face, after a few moments Ben surprised her by moving round the front of Rachel, after getting the scissors back from Hayley he began to cut away.

Moving the scissors down from her cleavage to the bottom of the dress, this meant when he stepped back behind her Rachel’s yellow dress fell open exposing her gunge stained but still yellow bra and thong, a situation the shocked open mouthed Rachel had never expected to be in and knew that if Hayley had been crowned the GGP champion, she was in no doubt the loser.

She felt so exposed but again couldn’t help but feel somewhat pleased that she was still keeping a big crowd as the pies and mess were now targeted towards her exposed underwear, she had the comfort that after less than a minute she was no longer quite so exposed, meanwhile she could feel something growing behind her at the touch of her hands so she decided to focus on it as a distraction from the mess she was enduring, as someone smashed several eggs onto her head in one go.

Eventually Hayley called a halt to it and Rachel was grateful, she considered whether she had learned a valuable lesson not to gloat too much when staying clean, but then couldn’t help but smile as she pictured Hayley on the gunk dunk and with her hands tied and accepted she wouldn’t change a thing.

As she turned to Ben and as sexily as she could whilst dripping with gooey mess suggested that it might be best for them to help clean each other off in the showers with a wink towards Hayley who was within earshot and knew exactly what was going to happen, feeling a tinge of jealousy at the idea.

Same as before, no intro, no set up, just a series of clues. Right answers mean you can choose what happens next, wrong answers eliminate them for the game.

1. Mr Sinatra for instance plays card game on Saturdays.

2. Some Roman ales had IX on bottles. Judge for yourself.

3. We hear she’ll be getting slimed. It’s the bane of her life.

4. Sporting winner is always pedalling initially, finish and give the game away.

5. A green barrier. Twisted endless thrill inside.

6. Apparently she needs to re chill really. Should only take 30 seconds.

Some toughies in here. Remember a wrong answer wipes the player from the game entirely. Deadline 6pm UK time on Sunday 10th May.

The scene opens to one side of the stage, which is mapped out with what appear to be two supermarket aisles, detailed in the respective player colours, a prudent separation between them. Lining either side of these aisles, shelves are laid out with hundreds of toilet rolls, stacked loosely on their sides. At the back end of each aisle, a square sets of steps leads up to a giant toilet, again detailed in the corresponding player colour. The toilets loom over the playing area like revered monuments of an ancient civilisation. A hefty chain hangs from each cistern.

In front of the playing area, Clara saunters into shot, to address the spectatorless studio.

Clara: Hello again! You’re watching a very special royal edition of Grudge-2-Sludge!

Natalie: [up on the big screen] In the studio, she’s Clara Quick!

Clara: And at home, she’s Natalie Lloyd!

Natalie: It’s time to play our first game, which is called Toilet Caper!

Clara: This pandemic may be like no other in our lifetime, but it has already triggered one of humankind’s oldest survival instincts.

Natalie: That’s right. Ever since people came down from the trees, stood up on hind legs and roamed forth from Africa, their response to danger or doubt has always been the same.

Stuart: [pops into shot] Go for a beer?

Natalie: No! Accumulate as much toilet paper as possible! Take a look at this…!

Clara: [shaking her head] When you gotta go, you gotta go, I guess! Anyway, it has to be said that our own Tommy Crappers [gestures the pair of toilets] − magnificent though they are − are currently lacking in loo roll, and we’d hate to be caught short!

Natalie: It’s not just the loo roll, Clara; the bog brushes are missing too!

Clara: Ah, now that one we can easily solve! [Clicks her fingers] Kate! Meghan! Come on out!

There follows a few seconds’ delay, together with some off-camera protestations, before the two duchesses shuffle from backstage, arriving from opposite directions so as to maintain social distancing. Gone are the dresses they arrived in; instead they are pared down to their underwear and strapped inside stripey, cylindrical toilet brush holders, which extend from their chests down to their ankles. As for headgear, each duchess has her noddle encased inside a bristly toilet brush, from which only her face protrudes. And most comical of all, a rubber brush-handle extends a good two feet from the crown of each woman’s head.

Coming to stand in front of their respective toilets, the duchesses burn crimson from a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance, further inflamed by the jeers and laughter of the remote audience. Clara bends double as she guffaws, her previous fawning respect for the royal figures all but gone, while Natalie is slapping her desk in mirth.

Clara: Ho ho ho! What a pair of plungers!

Natalie: Some great comments coming in from our viewers − “They’ve gone from Royal standard to bog standard!” says one − very good!

Clara: “They scrub up well” says another − good American one for you there, Meghan!

Meghan: [not amused in the slightest] For your own sake you better have some good lawyers, cos I’ve instructed mine to take action.

Natalie: [unfazed by the threat] Well it just goes to show that everyone gets the same treatment on Grudge-2-Sludge – even royalty! But don’t waste your energy complaining, girls. Compared to the Sludge Sling, this game is a mere brush with humiliation – tee hee – and you need to get earning points to avoid that sludgy fate!

Clara: As explained before you came on stage, it’s panic-buying season at the supermarket, and the aim of this game is to snatch as many bog rolls as you can! They’re on the shelves for the taking, but there’s a twist: in this age of heightened hygiene, you’re not allowed to touch them with your hands!

Natalie: Oh yes indeed. Penalties will be imposed for any hand-to-roll action. Instead you must slide the rolls onto those handy handles protruding from your heads!

Kate and Meghan turn their eyes upwards.

Clara: You can slide on as many rolls as you wish or can. Then they must be deposited into the bowl of your toilet. But again, when offloading, you can’t touch the toilet rolls with your hands!

The contestants frown as they process the mechanics of this.

Kate: [disgusted] So you expect me to stick my head down a toilet!?

Natalie: Dear me, I thought this girl was itching to get near the throne!

Clara: [chuckles] Come now Kate, it’s nothing you don’t do on a Friday night! [Kate glowers to hear this] Anyway, you must get your rolls in the toilet bowl, but even then you’re still not done – not until you’ve flushed the toilet!

Natalie: Oh yes, it’s very important to always flush. I know you two usually have servants to flush the toilet for you, but this time you’ll have to do it yourself, and for this you can use your hands!

The camera indicates the chain dangling from one of the toilet cisterns.

Clara: Only toilet rolls that get flushed to the compartment at the back of the toilet will count towards your score – one point per roll.

Natalie: So I hope that’s all clear to you. Beware, the groceries will be flying in the supermarket – oh, and watch out for the toilet duck!

Clara: Ninety seconds on the clock – marks, set, GO!!

A klaxon blares and Clara skedaddles to one side. Kate remains immobile for a second, frozen in disbelief that she is actually taking part in this demeaning spectacle. Meghan, no happier about the situation but more enterprising, wastes no time in springing into action. She scurries into the supermarket aisle, narrowly dodging an ‘egg’ that falls from above. The oval missile bursts by her foot, splashing her ankle. She is less lucky when it comes to a volley of baked beans fired from a gap in the shelves. The beans hit her shoulder and the lower corner of her toilet brush headgear, staining the brush bristles orange and dripping down her front and arm.

Kate breaks out of her stunned stupor and stumbles into her aisle, to be met by a deluge of gravy from above. The white bristles of her brush instantly turn brown and the gravy slops down her back, making her scream.

Meanwhile, Meghan is at work collecting the toilet rolls. Mindful of the no-hands rule, she leans forward as best the constrictive costume allows, sticking out the handle of her headgear towards a stack of the loo rolls, while the camera takes full advantage of her enhanced cleavage in this leaning position. Furrowing her brow in concentration, Meghan guides the handle through the central tube of a toilet roll and straightens up. The toilet roll slides down the handle to a secure position at the base. Pleased with herself, she bends forward to repeat the action. Her smile is replaced by a squawk as a jet of foam sprays out of the shelf, straight at her bra and cleavage (an aim too good to be coincidence).

For Kate things are going less smoothly. A mixture of misjudged distance and the distraction posed by a flying lump of mushy peas causes her to knock over a pile of toilets rolls, which, true to their name, roll across the floor. Kate stoops to pick one up, but a sharp tut from Clara reminds her of the rules, so instead she moves on to try her luck with another pile.

Meghan, who now has three toilet rolls stacked on her brush handle, dashes up her toilet steps under a rain of cabbages and tomatoes. Her rigid cylindrical costume makes it to difficult to stoop or kneel, and she has to hug the toilet seat while levering her entire body forwards, feet kicking in the air. Eventually she reaches a sufficient angle that the toilet rolls slip off the handle and into the toilet bowl. Meghan quickly returns her feet to the floor and runs down the steps.

Natalie: Don’t forget to flush!!

Scowling, Meghan returns up the steps and yanks the chain. As the toilet flushes a model mallard emerges from the top of the cistern, quacking loudly. As Meghan looks up towards the noise, the duck jerks its arse in her direction and deposits a dollop of white goo right in her face.

Clara: Oh no! It’s the toilet duck!

Natalie: He doesn’t like being disturbed, you know!

Meghan: [wipe her face and shakes a fist at the duck] You bastard!

Soon after, Kate deposits some toilet rolls in her own toilet and also falls victim to its resident toilet duck. Both girls make a couple more journeys to and fro, and the game becomes increasingly chaotic as the groceries continue to fly. The brush bristles around the girls’ heads give protection to their hair, but prove a mixed blessing due to the mess that accumulates in them, hanging lankly and flapping into the girls’ faces. The floor becomes increasingly slippery, and it is only a matter of time before Meghan flies over backwards, pulling over a stack of toilet paper with her. Chatter and emojis zip across the bottom of the screen, the online viewers expressing their enjoyment of the spectacle.

Kate too is having her problems; she still hasn’t got the knack of sliding the toilet rolls onto her brush handle. Eventually, when a toilet roll very nearly goes on but slips onto the floor at the last moment, she loses her patience and snatches it up with her hand.

Clara: Oi!! NO!!

Venturing as far as she dare into the playing area, Clara flicks her wrist, firing a jet of foam from her concealed device. The foam sprays up Kate’s side, but the defiant duchess plonks the toilet roll onto her handle and runs off to her toilet, while Clara continues to shout.

Natalie: Ten seconds left!

The big screen selects a random face from the pool of online spectators for each number in the countdown.

Nine!!

Eight!!

Both contestants dash through their aisles on one last toilet trip, scattering toilet paper far and wide. Meghan even topples a set of shelves.

Seven!!

Six!!

Meghan dives onto her toilet, or rather into her toilet, her head disappearing down the bowl while her feet point skyward. Kate jumps too far and she and her costume roll off the seat. As she tumbles to the floor, she instinctively grabs onto the chain and yanks it, earning her a pelting from an irate toilet duck.

Five!!

Four!!

Meghan still has her head down the toilet. Determined that her last few toilet rolls will count, she reaches blindly out and pulls her chain. Brown splurts up around her torso.

Clara: [cringing face] Ewww!!

Three!!

Two!!

Natalie: One!!

The klaxon blares.

Clara: [running to the front] STOP!!

Kate, who is still being harassed by the toilet duck, rolls down the steps in an attempt to get away. An unfurled strip off toilet paper winds itself around her head and face as she rolls. Meghan, who has fallen out of her costume, heaves her slimy, underwear-clad body out of the toilet bowl. Her face is coated in brown goo and bears a disgusted expression.

Meghan: I don’t know what’s worse – your awful British baked beans or your sick British humour!

Clara: Oh wow!! What a game that was! Meghan, you took a hit there, but you’ll be pleased to hear that those last toilet rolls did count so it wasn’t in vain!

Natalie: Sure was a royal flush!! But which of you is gonna be a number one and which a number two? It’s time to find out your scores!

Clara: The toilet rolls are stored up in the backs of your toilets, but given the current situation I don’t want to touch them after you two have been panting all over them, so instead we’re going to use the automated ejection device. Natalie, get counting!

One by one, toilet rolls are fired out of the red toilet, aimed so that they land on Kate, draping her sticky form in even more toilet paper.

Natalie: One, two, three… [keeps counting] …thirteen, fourteen, and one more… fifteen! Not at all bad, Kate, but one of those is invalid because you touched it with your hands, so we’re discounting it. Plus you disobeyed Clara when she told you to put it down, so I think we should deduct an additional penalty point, don’t you agree, Clara?

Clara: [fuming] Two penalty points!

Kate: [agog] You make up the penalties as you go along!

Natalie: That’s right, we do. So it never pays to disobey us. Clara, I totally agree – a one-point deduction for the wrongful toilet roll, plus a two-point punishment fine. So Kate, you have… 12 points!

The toilet duck pops out of the cistern and quacks a mocking laugh at Kate, joined in by Meghan. Kate lies on her side and groans.

Clara: Don’t gloat yet, Meghan; you don’t know how well you’ve done! Let’s get counting: one… two… three…

The toilet rolls ping out of the toilet at Meghan, who whines and threatens her usual legal action. But as the count keeps on rising, so does the smile on Meghan’s face.

Clara: …thirteen… fourteen… fifteen… sixteen… any more? Whoop, one more! Well done Meghan – seventeen points!

Meghan perches on the toilet seat and raises a victory fist in the air. She crows at Kate, who flaps away toilet paper in frustration as she lies on the floor.

Natalie: Wow, that’s one of the biggest leads we’ve had after the first round! Kate paid a price for not obeying the rules there, but will it cost her the ultilmate penalty? Could those forfeited points end up tipping the balance, and her into the sludge?

Clara: Too early to tell, Nat. There are still lots of points up for grabs, and anything could happen in the coming rounds. [Turns to address the contestants] Speaking of which, you two need to get cleaned up and changed for the next round. Let’s have you backstage!

Wearily, Kate picks herself up off the floor. As Meghan slides off the toilet seat, the toilet duck pops out to give her a parting gift.

Meghan: [jabbing a finger at the toilet duck] My lawyer will have you!

Clara: [sighs] It’s a prop, Meghan. Now hurry up and bog off!

The contestants trudge off in opposite directions.

Natalie: Ha ha – bog off – very good! And that goes for you lot at home too, as we go to an extra advert break to raise even more money for our carers. See you again soon!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

In 2020, the BBC decided to revive a classic show, “Noels House Party”, but with a new host. Seeing as how she had experience in the field, the BBC chose Holly Willoughby. The show brought back many classic elements, from Gotcha’s, to audience participation, but most importantly, gunge.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Holly’s House Party! Now here is your host, Holly Willoughby!”

Holly soaked in the cheers before speaking. “There is alot we have planned for this evening, and first on that list is our gunge vote. Who will go home clean, and who will get a little bit messy? Well tonight, our theme is ‘Battle of the Soaps.’ Its been done before, and this time the ladies will be involved. So, without any further ado, lets see our participants.”

From behind the wall spun out the classic gunge tank. On one side sat Michelle Keegan,

on the other side sat Georgia May Foote.

“Here are our participants for this evening. It is up to you at home to determine who gets gunged. Go online and cast your vote. Should it be Georgia?” Georgia shook her head while Michelle pointed and nodded and some in the crowd cheered. “Or should it be Michelle?” Now Georgia nodded while Michelle nervously shook her head, and again some in the audience cheered.

“Well, someones gonna get covered in goo, and you decide. Tune in later to find out who gets it.

Voting ends Monday night at 11:59 PM EST.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature. 

Sally Bundock the presenter of BBC2’s Business Briefing and a BBC Business Presenter was finding Lockdown hard. Since her husband died tragically young just under 3 years ago Sally had been trying to juggle being a single parent to 3 growing boys with her work commitments.

Over the last few years she had struck up an unlikely friendship with BBC Sports Presenter Holly Hamilton. They had bumped into each other in Marks and Spencer one day and found they shared a mutual love of sensible white knickers and then realised they worked in the same building. When Sally’s husband passed away Holly had been a great help and would sometimes mind Sally’s boys so she could have a rare night out. Sally always called her boys – Big, Little and Small when talking about them to Holly and Holly actually called the boys this to their face as they found it funny.

However Holly married in 2019 and since Lockdown had been spending it with her husband in Northern Ireland. The two ladies often Skyped and like to share a glass of wine together virtually. Sally had enjoyed reading the interview Holly did with Dancing on Ice contestant and This Morning presenter Maura Higgins (see story “When Holly ( not that one) interviewed Maura dated 9th May 2020) and thought it was hilarious when she saw the photo of Holly getting a cream cake pushed in her face by Maura. Holly didn’t tell Sally about the gunging fun Maura and her had together but she mentioned that Maura had given her some Ann Summers stuff and she’d never felt as sexy as confident as she did now.

Holly and Sally had a Skype call one evening which turned into a heart to heart.

“You look frazzled Sal” Holly said. “Tell me about it Hol. Big is going through adolescence and is infatuated with women, Middle spends all his time on his Game Console and Little really misses his Dad” Sally replied. “You stay strong Sal, if you ever want me to call any of the lads and have a chat with them just let me know” Holly said. “Well Big was rude about you yesterday. He was reading your interview with Maura and said he never knew you had such great tits but they weren’t as good as Holly Willoughby’s when he read you were confused for her several times. We did find that part funny though” said Sally raising a flustered smile. “Well you said I looked sexy in those pictures too and when I sent you the Ann Summers ones Maura and myself took and I sent to Connor ( Holly’s husband) you made a few smutty jokes” Holly responded. “But we are friends and Big is my son, it’s different” Sally continued. “Don’t forget he’s 15 now, I’m 33 and you are 48 so the age differences are almost the same” Holly suggested. “I caught him watching that Tiswas/OTT revival online the other night too” Sally said. “Well I hope you let him see it, I nearly ended up on there” Holly replied.

“Goodness no, I made him close it down. He is infatuated with Maisie Smith and he really has the hots for your friend Maura. He won’t do his revision for his mocks in the next school year and just fantasies about these women. Imagine he did it about you” Sally said. “He’s always been perfect gentleman to me and he is a credit to you” Holly said trying to reassure Sally. “Let him watch that Tiswas stuff if you have to wash a sticky sheet so be it” joked Holly. “He’s hardly talking to me over it” Sally confessed. “Did you say he has the hots for Maura?” Holly said. “Yes he sees her as his dream woman” Sally replied. “I could get Maura to send him a sexy signed photo and maybe give him a Skype call. If we say you arranged it then he might start working harder again?” Holly suggested. “That would be a great idea but what if Big said anything rude to Maura?” Sally replied. “She’d tell him what for and end the call” Holly giggled thinking how feisty Maura was. “I’m not really comfortable Big talking to a lady who went topless on that Tiswas thing either” said Sally. “Look I’ll talk to Maura and we can set it up so you can hear what they say. Maura will record it and send you a copy. She has good morals too and just uses her assets to promote things” Holly suggested. “Yes she did come across as a nice person in your interview and she has certainly livened up your love life” Sally concluded.

Holly talked to Maura and she happily sent Big a signed photo which she inscribed “I hear you are big, I like big boys, lots of love Maura”. Sally was a bit shocked when she saw it but when she realised how happy Big was she let it go. On the promise of a Skype chat with Maura, he did all his school work and started to revise. He had a great Skype chat with Maura but when Sally heard it back she was rather shocked and called Holly. “Your friend has gone too far, she has only sent Big some sexy selfies of her in Ann Summers gear. Plus she has said if he passes his mocks she’ll send him a topless selfie and you’ll never guess what she has promised him if he passes 6 or more of his GCSEs” Sally thundered. “Thank god you haven’t heard what he’ll get if he passes his Master’s degree” Holly joked. “This isn’t funny he is underage” Sally ranted. “When does Big take his mocks?” Holly asked “November why?” Sally snapped. “Well Big turns 16 in October!” Holly suggested. “But potentially sending a lad his age a topless selfie is still disgusting” Sally fumed. “Well Maura was topless on that Tiswas programme and I’m sure the selfies she sent him were similar to the Ann Summers promo shots that are all over the web” reasoned Holly. “That’s different though” said Sally. “Yes he sees them as a special gift so will treasure them and has it made him do his school work?” asked Holly. “Yes I cannot get the books out of his hands as all he talks about is the days until he passes his exams” Sally said. “Well Maura has worked her magic then” Holly surmised.

“I suppose so and she sent me the copy of the call and I’ve never heard Big so quiet and tongue tied when she said Holly had told her he was a big boy” said Sally beginning to relax a bit. “Here’s the photos she sent him” Sally added and forwarded them onto Holly. As Holly opened the photos and scrolled down them she screamed “What the **** I’ll kill her”. “What’s up Hol?” asked Sally. “The photo of the bum in the pink thong, isn’t Maura!” Holly ranted. “Well who is it?” Sally asked. “Me!” screamed Holly. Sally began to laugh. “It’s not funny Sal, imagine Big finds out that is me. He’ll never be able to look me in the eyes again” Holly raged. “He’ll be looking at your bum then I guess” replied Sally unable to stop laughing. “That is just the sort of naughty thing Maura does” Holly ranted but started to see the funny side of it. “Well Big thinks it’s Maura and that is the main thing” Sally suggested. “Maura has a heart of gold but does these crazy naughty things along the way” Holly said. “Maura told me she has moved you off sensible white knickers onto thongs too. So I’ve lost my knicker shopping sister” Sally laughed. “I’m going to kill her but this has made you laugh which is great to hear” Holly said. “Maura has offered to go shopping with me when Lockdown is over I cannot see her helping me choose my M and S knickers?” Sally said. “No she said to me she’d love to take you shopping to Ann Summers and get you in some really sexy underwear for when you start dating again. Also she can get you a 30% discount on sex toys if you ever felt lonely and wanted some pleasure” Holly informed her. “What the ****” screamed Sally adding “Imagine me in Ann Summers stuff”. “Well if Maura gets hold of you, there may not be much choice” Holly joked. “She sounds like a great girl but I think I’ll keep my distance” Sally laughed concluding the call.

A couple of weeks later Holly and Sally were having another Skype call. “How are the boys doing now?” Holly asked. “Well Big has been doing all his work and revision, he just counts down the hours to his weekly call from Maura. He has even taken a shine to English Literature. He was reading Romeo and Juliet to her last night. I cannot thank you enough for putting him in touch with her” Sally said. “I hope you thanked Maura too?” said Holly “Yes I sent her some nice flowers” Sally replied. “Did she like them?” asked Holly. “Yes she said they were lovely but she hadn’t got a vase so made a really filthy joke. We had a great laugh about it” Sally said. “It’s great to see you beginning to laugh again” Holly said. “I know since Paul (Sally’s husband) died I’ve done my best to hold things together for the boys but I do struggle. Everyone thinks I’m Mrs Perfect but I’m not. See me at about 5am getting out of bed in a hurry checking if all is okay and hoping the lads don’t blow the house up whilst I’m at work” Sally said. “But I had a lovely heart to heart with Maura over it a couple of nights ago when she sent me a copy of Big’s chats with her, I trust her so much that I’ve agreed I don’t need to receive copies of their chats going forward. Plus I let Big watch the Tiswas/OTT show and then I found out that Middle had watched it too. Maura suggested I let them watch it. So I relented.” Sally explained.

“What exactly did you tell Maura?” Holly asked a bit worried that Hurricane Maura whilst trying to help Sally may take things a bit too far. The thought in her mind of Sally being gunged topless in a thong because Maura had convinced her it was a fun thing to do made her laugh. But Sally was still emotionally vulnerable and being swept up in the wake of Hurricane Maura was probably not the best thing. “I told her how times had been tough emotionally and the boys miss their Dad as much as I miss him. She asked if I ever treat myself or have some quality time etc. She has even asked Big to ensure he does a lot of the stuff his Dad used to do. And she said she’d send me something” Sally replied. The words send me something resonated around Holly’s mind. Just then Big walked into the room and said “Mum, Maura sent you this and handed her a parcel.” “Hello Big” said Holly. “Hiya Hol, look what Maura has sent me” he replied and held up a signed photo of the pink thong shot Maura had taken of Holly a few weeks earlier. “Maura knows how much I like this photo so printed out a copy and signed it for me. She is perfect but her bum is just amazing. She has put “To my favourite big boy you’d love to spank me Golly! Love Maura” he enthused. “What the f* funny thing to put” Holly stammered. “Anyway I’ve got more revision to do. Maura has said I must do it” Big concluded and left the room. “The bitch, I’ll kill her, But I love her as well” Holly sighed. “That was funny though” said Sally laughing. “What has she sent you?” Holly asked crossing her fingers it wasn’t what she feared it may be.

“Well she has written “Only to be opened by Sally. Big if you or your brothers open it then there will be no more Skype calls. He must have guarded this with his life. Bless him” Sally said. She opened the parcel and shrieked in shock and held up some very sexy almost obscene Ann Summers underwear and a couple of sex toys. Holly sank with her head into her hands and burst out laughing. Sally was sat there shaking her head. “She has even written a note saying send me a selfie or two of you in them” Sally said rather shocked. “I’ll have to speak to her about this” said Holly. “Imagine if one of the lads had opened this or even imagine me wearing this” Sally pondered and then began to laugh. “Or using those” said Holly looking at the sexy toys. “I haven’t laughed this much since —” Sally said and began to get emotional. “I’ll have to thank Maura, she means well but can just go too far. Imagine my white wobbly bits in this” said Sally holding up a peephole bra and collapsing into laughter again.

A few days later Sally and Holly caught up again on Skype. “Did you try anything on?” Holly teased Sally. “Maybe” Sally replied smiling. “You did Sal you naughty minx” Holly probed. Sally nodded with a naughty smile. “You didn’t send Maura a selfie of you wearing any did you?” asked Holly. “No but she did ask. I don’t want Big receiving a signed photo of my body thinking it is Maura’s” Sally said laughing. “I think even he’d tell the difference?” Holly said bursting out laughing. “You and Maura have been a godsend with Big, he is doing everything I ask or rather I ask Maura to ask him to do” Sally said. “It’s just Middle and Little now. They are really annoyed that the live studio audience version of Saturday Mash Up has been cancelled as I was going to be a guest on there and possibly in the gunge vote. I’d agreed to be in the vote as I’d have been against Saffron Barker so wouldn’t have won anyway. But they said they wanted to see me get gunged as it reminded them when we all played in the garden with their dad and they threw buckets of water at me in my bikini, wobbly bits and all” Sally admitted again getting a bit upset. “You haven’t told Maura about this yet given that she has done those adult gungings” Holly said. “No but she did once mention that she got you messy 3 times when you were there, The cake, the fire extinguisher so what was the other one?” Sally asked. “Okay she set me up and gunged me in her outhouse shower but I did get her back” Holly admitted and showed Sally the gunging over Skype. Sally howled with laughter “She got you river dancing and threw pig swill and silage over you. Oh my god fish guts too”. “It gets better” Holly said as it came to the clip of Maura’s head going into her muff. “My god if Big saw that, I’d need to buy up every box of tissues I could find” Sally said crying with laughter.

Just then another call alert came through on both their Skype notifications. It was Maura.

Sally answered the call before Holly could say anything. “Hi Sally Sensible Knickers and Holly Fishyfanny” Maura said. “Hi Hurricane Maura” said Sally. “Don’t call me that in front of other people” Holly said scolding Maura. “I guess you call her that after your gunging escapade?” Sally giggled. “Oh you’ve told her about it Hol, hope you’ve shown her the clip darling?” Maura asked excitedly. “Yes Sally has been it” admitted Holly. “I’ve promised to show it to Big if he gets into the University Sal wants him to go to” Maura teased Holly. “God I hope not” screamed Holly. “No only when he’s got his degree but I expect he’ll have loads of women of his own by then or if he’s still interested in me. I could end up with Sal as my mother in law” Maura joked. Both Holly and Sally burst out laughing swept along by hurricane Maura. “Have you tried on those products yet or used them Sal?” Maura asked. Sally smiled and nodded. “Where are the selfies Sal ?” Maura probed. “I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable taking and sending them” Sally admitted. “Don’t forget that Sally is older than us and has her children to consider” Holly suggested. “We need to get you back dating, Big wants to sign you up to Tinder and I think it would be good for you” Maura continued.

“She’s a bit tied up with Middle and Small at the moment” Holly chipped in trying to divert Hurricane Maura getting Sally remarried within a few months. “What’s up with them Sal?” asked Maura. “Well I was going to be a guest on Saturday Mash Up and I might have been in the gunging vote but since lockdown they are just doing Zoom interviews and they decided to have Amelia Gething on instead as she does funny videos” Sally replied. “So if they saw some type of gunging they would be happy and crack on with their school work?” Holly suggested. “They could watch Tiswas/OTT show or the forthcoming Totty series. I’ve been invited on Totty once lockdown is over and asked to bring a friend along. Carlotta Edwards is up for it but if you fancied it Hol or you Sal. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. You’d probably need to wear a bikini though. I can lend you some really sexy Ann Summers ones. You’d be great on there Holly and you with those big boobs bound to fall out would get so many more male fans Sal” Maura rattled out. “Hang on a bit Middle is only 12 and Small only 8 and I will not be going on Totty and certainly not in a bikini” said Sally trying to keep a straight face in the full force of Hurricane Maura.

Holly was crying with laughter “I have visions of Maura gunging Sally whilst she is just wearing a thong and cannot get it out of my head” she said. “We could do it online” Maura joked. “We will not” said Sally snorting with laughter. “To think I was skeptical about you at first but I’ve laughed more since I’ve known you than in the last 3 years. You are so wrong yet so right. Just causing chaos but somehow making people feel good about themselves” Sally added getting emotional. “You are awesome too Sal” replied Maura. “I was going to suggest that we organize a fun online gunging for Middle and Small to watch based on what work they have done. Lets say for each question they get right I have to tip something over me or I get Connor to and for each they get wrong Maura has to tip something over her and Sal asks the questions” Holly suggested.

“That sounds fun as long as I can wear a bikini as Big will like that and I reckon Holly should too” said Maura. “As long as you keep everything in” Sally replied laughing. “I’ll wear t-shirt and shorts thanks” added Holly. “Go braless I dare you” Maura said. “I’ll think about it” Holly teased. “No I was asking Sal” Maura responded and everyone laughed. “That’s a great idea girls, Middle and Little used to love soaking me in the garden with their Dad and chase me in my bikini with all my white bits wobbling” Sally admitted again getting upset at thinking about happy times. “Don’t get upset Sal you’ve got us. When should be do it maybe Sunday 5pm” Holly suggested. “Yes that would give them time to swat up and I think they will do it for this” Sally replied wiping her eyes.

“They liked to see you get wet in a bikini Sal?” Maura asked. “Yes” Sally fatally replied “Well lets change things around. They can gunge you if they get a question right and me if they get a question wrong and Holly can be question master” Maura said. Sally began to think about it. ” I don’t know what stuff I’ve got in the house I could use?”. “You could contact Mash Up and ask them to send some gunge mixture over. Middle and Small would enjoy mixing that up” Holly suggested. “I bet they would but it sounds a fun idea. I’d only need to put some plastic down to catch the gunge” Sally said. “So you will do it?”Maura asked. “Well your ideas have worked with Big so I’m prepared to get a bit messy if it will help the other two” Sally replied. “Way to go Sal” Holly said.

“You maybe need to go to the local cash and carry I believe they are selling a load of catering sized tins of stuff like baked beans, mushy peas, soups etc. They will be great to cover yourself in and they all wash off easily” Maura said. “But I don’t want to get everywhere too messy even if I wear an old t-shirt and leggings there will be a lot of clearing up to do” Sally replied. “Don’t worry Sal, I’ll ask Big to do the clearing up and there is certainly no need to worry about clothes getting messy as you’ll want to wear a bikini to remind the children of the water fights” Maura said. “A bikini” stammered Sally. “Yes Sal, squeeze those self confessed wobbly white bits into a bikini” Maura continued. “I haven’t worn mine for 4 years at least, it may not even fit. I’m a Christian too” Sally countered trying to get out of this. “Buy some tit tape you can get next day delivery from Amazon, we don’t want those 38DD juicy melons coming out after you warned me about it. Or there is a thong bikini in the Ann Summers stuff I sent you. That fits as I checked your measurements. Plus if they try to stick anything down your bum you won’t end up with so much mush up your fanny. Claire McCollum from Songs of Praise was gunged on Tiswas/OTT so your faith isn’t even a point to consider. I’ve got to go now as I’ve got a Deliveroo Order at the door. 5pm Sunday confirmed I’ll be in my bikini and you’ll be in yours Sal. See you ladies” Maura said signing off.

Sally sat there open mouthed. “I did warn you but you have been swept up by Hurricane Maura” Holly said trying not to laugh. “What can I do?” stammered Sally. “Dig out the old bikini and pray it fits” suggested Holly laughing. “This isn’t funny. I’ll have to call Maura back in a bit. I have a swimsuit I can wear” Sally suggested. Just then both ladies phones pinged. “It’s a text from Maura” Holly said. “What does it say?” asked Sally afraid to read it. “Just texted Big, he thinks it’s a great idea and will tell Middle and Little. I’ve suggested to him that he gets them to design a bikini battle poster as part of their art work and look into the calories in each food we are gunged with for home economics work. Big has said he’ll go shopping with you Sal as he knows what gives best coverage after watching Tiswas/OTT Love M” Holly read out trying not to laugh. “Hurricane Maura has got you again” she added giggling uncontrollably.

“I’ll be the only mother taking her children shopping to buy stuff they will gunge her with whilst wearing a bikini” Sally sighed. Just then Middle and Small ran into the room asking “Where are our school books Mum. That’s a great idea you, Holly and Maura have had”. “Hi Middle, Hi Small, looks like your Mum is going to get very messy on Sunday. Speak to you tomorrow Sal” Holly said signing off laughing.

Sally hardly able to believe what she had been roped into took 3 excitable kids shopping the next day and reluctantly bought some catering sized tins and cartons of food. Holly made sure she contacted the Saturday Mash Up Office and got a load of gunge mixture shipped to Sally’s house. Small and Middle had a great time mixing it up whilst Big talked excitedly about seeing Maura get messy in her bikini.

Unfortunately for Sally, Middle and Little had thrown themselves into their schoolwork and were scoring highly as Big tested them. Sally finally plucked up the courage to try on her bikini but no way did it still fit. She called Holly in a panic. “What shall I do?” she pleaded. “Have you tried the thong one?” Holly joked. “Very funny” Sally stormed. “Just look on ASOS and order a next day delivery in your size” Holly suggested. Reluctantly Sally did this and it arrived literally an hour before the online test and gunging. She tried it on and it fitted nicely. She took a selfie and texted it to Holly. “Good choice and looking very sexy Sal” Holly replied. “Txt it to Maura” Holly then added. Sally thought for a second a did so. “Wow look at you, was hoping you’d wear the thong one. Go sexy momma” Maura replied. Sally looked at herself in her bedroom mirror and thought “I do look pretty good”

The ladies linked up on Skype 15 minutes before the event was going to begin. They agreed that there would be no swearing in front of Sally’s children and no references to Holly and Maura’s private gunging. Also Maura promised she wouldn’t tease Big too much or be overly provocative towards him. “Finally make sure nothing falls out” Sally said. “So you did get that tit tape?” Maura asked “Also put your hair down Sal we are going for best possible coverage and maybe put a couple of ice cubes on your nipples for a laugh” Maura added. “The ladies have had their hair tied back on Saturday Mash Up” Sally suggested. “Oh stop being such a Sally Sensible Knickers” Holly joked. “Okay but I’m not using ice cubes” sighed Sally and let her hair down. Maura pushed her boobs up to the screen and said “You do the same Sal”. Reluctantly Sally agreed and pushed her cleavage up to her screen. “Give us a shimmy Sal” Holly encouraged her. Very embarrassed Sally shook her boobs and her little belly and thighs wobbled. “I feel so uncomfortable and insecure. I was wobbling all over the pace” Sally said.

Maura did a sexy shimmy to her screen and said “You have a much better wobble than me Sal” Holly said” Repeat after me “I’m Sally Bundock, I may be 48, but I’m a fantastic mum, I may have white wobbly bits, I don’t care. I look good in my bikini”. Sally repeated it and began to smile. “Now repeat this final pledge” Maura said “I’m going to feel stupid, embarrassed, I’m going to get messy, but I’m going to have some fun and laugh at it even if I get custard up my bum and to prove it I’m going to flash my tits now to Holly and Maura” Sally had a look of shock on her face and started “”I’m going to feel stupid, embarrassed, I’m going to get messy” but stopped. “Come on Sal” Holly encouraged. Sally took a deep breath a swig of wine and continued “But I’m going to have some fun and laugh at it even if I get custard up my arse! To prove it I’m going to flash my big tits now to Holly and Maura!”. She pulled her bikini top down and wobbled her big boobs to the screen as Maura and Holly flashed her back in a show of unity.

“You have great tits Sal” Maura encouraged her as Sally quickly readjusted herself and put on her bathrobe as Big knocked her bedroom door saying “We are ready mum”. Sally took a final swig of wine as Holly and Maura chanted “Go Sally”.

Sally nervously made her way into the garden and took off her bathrobe. “Looking good mum” said Big. The ladies linked up again on Skype.

Big’s eyes nearly popped out when he saw Maura in her sexy black two piece and Holly looked pretty in an off the shoulder red dress.

“Okay I’ve taken a snap shot of what Middle and Small have been studying and there will be six rounds. For everyone they get right they can tip an item or throw it at Sally and for every question they get wrong Maura will tip and item over herself” “I’ve got Dermot here to gunge me” said Maura as she turned the camera onto Dermot who waved as he stood just inside the Outhouse in Maura’s garden. “He’s so lucky” said Big wistfully. “Hello Big Boy” said Maura blowing him a kiss. “He’s in love” shouted Middle. “I want to gunge Mum” said Small.

“Okay first question is to Little please spell Everywhere?” said Holly. “E-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e” Little replied. “Correct you may now choose an item and gunge your mum with” Holly said laughing. Little looked at his array of products and picked up a bucket. Sally braced herself trying to cover her face as Little threw a half full bucket of green slime in her face. It covered her hair and the cold green slime ran down her face and onto her body. “It’s on my boobs” she shouted laughing.

“Okay first question to Middle please spell Extravagant?” Holly said. “E-x-t-r-a-v-a-g-e-n-t” Middle replied. “Sorry it is “E-x-t-r-a-v-a-g-a-n-t” Holly said. Maura was laughing as Dermot picked up a bucket and tipped a load of pig swill over her head. The light coloured lumpy substance encased her face and cascaded onto her boobs. She coughed as some went in her mouth, her long flowing black hair was a white sodden sticky mess. She shouted “Hi Big” and pushed her boobs up to the camera and blew him a kiss.

“Second round is maths and we’ll start with Middle this time. Please solve this equation 8x + 3 = 51 what is the value of x?” Holly asked. Middle thought for a second and said “8x would equal 48, that’s mum’s age” “And her thigh size” shouted Maura. “Very funny” replied Sally. “So x would equal 6” Middle concluded. “Correct” said Holly. Sally cheered then realised that she would be facing another item of gunge. Middle looked around and picked up a big catering tin. “Not that” pleaded Sally. “Sorry mum but it has to be done” Middle said. He emptied the catering tin of baked beans over Sally’s head. She held her nose as the beans slowly ran down her face, covering her hair and they slowly ran down her body over her ample bust her little belly and formed a big pool in her lap. “Could you pull the back of your mum’s bikini bottoms up a bit Middle, she might be showing a bit of butt crack” Maura said. “Sure Maura” he said and pulled the back of Sally’s bikini bottoms up. “No” screamed Sally as this allowed a load of baked beans to go into her briefs and run down her bum crack. “Maura I hate you” she screamed. “Sorry mum” said Middle. “It’s okay just Maura being naughty” Sally reassured her.

“Second question for Little is also Maths. Please add up 48, 29 and 33 which is your mum’s, Maura’s and my ages” Holly asked. “He fancies Maura” shouted Middle pointing at Big and laughing. “109 ” replied Little. “No sorry it’s 110” said Holly. Dermot picked up another bucket and emptied a load of mushy peas over Maura’s head. “I’m green like the Irish football shirt” joked Maura as the thick green mess ran down her body. She pulled open the back of her bikini briefs and said “Ohh some has gone down there. I bet you’d like to fish those out Big”. He nodded to the camera as Maura stood up and wiggled her pert bum to the screen giving him a quick flash of bum cleavage by pulling the back of her briefs down an inch. “Behave Maura” Sally implored her but she did have to laugh.

“Okay 3rd round is looking at the boy’s artistic flair. Maura challenged them to jointly design a poster to promote the bikini gunge off between their mum and herself” Middle and Little bought a collage poster on it featured a cut out photo of Maura in a very sexy bikini and a photo of Big next to her with lots of love hearts drawn around them. “Ahh, that’s sweet” said Maura giggling. They then pointed to a drawing of a large lady who must have been about size 20 in a bikini with lots of wobbly bits with Sally’s head stuck on it. They had even labelled the rear end “Mummy’s big bum” and they had drawn several glasses of wine by Sally and labeled it “Mum’s favourite drink”. Sally wiped the gunge out of her eyes and looked in disbelief. “Do you like it Mum” asked Middle. “It’s certainly different” Sally stammered. “They have got you down to a tee” Holly said choking back her laughter.

“Sally, Maura and myself will judge this. If you think they have passed say pass or if you think they have failed say fail. This round is worth 3 items of gunge” Holly said. “I’ll start it’s a definite pass from me” she added. Sally looked at it and said “You are very cheeky, I’m not an obese, alcoholic and you missed my wobbly bits but it shows great creativity so I’ll say pass”. “It is so funny and they have got you sussed out Sal but I’m going to say fail to save Sal another bucket of gunge” Maura added. “Thanks Maura” said Sally.

“Okay Sally gets two buckets or items and Maura one this round” Holly stated. Little ran off into the kitchen and emerged smiling holding a tub. He pulled the lid off as Sally screamed “Please no” as she realised what it was. Little reached up and emptied a tub of partially melted ice cream over Sally’s head. As the cold hit her she jumped up manically jogging on the spot shuddering against the cold. Everyone was crying with laughter bar Sally who still shivering sat back down. “Please something nice” Sally pleaded to Middle. “Okay mum” he replied and threw a bucket of yellow gunge smash in Sally’s face. Sally closed her eyes as the gunge hit her and ran down her face. “Adjust your mum’s bikini bottoms Little” Maura urged. Little went to pull Sally’s bikini bottoms up but she stood up to try and stop him as she knew Maura had said that to make gunge go down her bum crack. As she stood up Little accidentally pulled the back of her bikini bottoms down a bit exposing the top half of her bum. “Mum” shouted Big as Sally quickly readjusted herself and sat back down her head in her hands in embarrassment.

“How come it’s okay when I do that but not when it happens to your mum?” Maura asked Big. “Well I like you doing it and it’s embarrassing when it happens to mum” he replied. “No both are funny and your mum is a great sport. End of story” Maura insisted. “Yes Maura” Big replied. “Good boy” Maura added and gave him a brief flash of her bum cleavage by turning around and pulling her briefs slightly. “Maura, you are so naughty yet so right. I’m sat here, covered in gunge, ice cream and baked beans with it down my boobs, up my bum and it has even filled my belly button but we are all having fun” she said pointing to her slightly wobbly stomach and her belly button full of gunge.

“I bet it has been a few years since you last had your belly button filled Sal” said Holly. “Mine is really deep. I bet Big would love to fill it for me” teased Maura. “That is very naughty Maura” Sally said enable to stop laughing. “What is so funny?” asked Big as the 3 ladies continued to laugh. Maura lay on the floor and Dermot emptied a bucket of cold lumpy gravy over Maura’s body starting at her head and working down to her feet. “He’s filled it perfectly” Maura said when he went past her belly button. “So that is what Maura meant” said Big and all 3 ladies burst out laughing again.

Suddenly Holly screamed as her husband had sneaked up behind her and emptied a bucket of blue gunge over her head. “You bugger Connor” she shouted as he ran off. It had plastered her long blonde hair to her face and ran down inside her dress. “It has gone down my boobs and I’m not wearing a bra either” she ranted laughing. “No I won’t be proving it before you ask me Maura” she quickly added. She wiped the gunge out of her eyes and pushed her plastered hair behind her ears. “Right Round 4 Science. Back with you Small what is the first element on the Periodic Table?” Small thought for a second and said “Hydrogen”. Sally clapped but then realised she was going to get gunged again.

Small pointed to another catering tin and he picked it up with Middle. Sally groaned as she realised what it was. She braced herself as a load of spaghetti cascaded down over her but she laughed and threw handfuls at her boys as they ran back laughing.

“Right for Middle your question is the following elements are all named after famous scientists except one which one is it- Nobelium, Curium, Urianian and Einsteinium?” Holly said. Middle thought for a second and said “Urianian”. “Correct. Do you know what that is named after Sal?” Holly asked. “Uranus” Sally replied laughing “That’s were she wants this item poured down” Maura shouted. “I hate you” Sally screamed and sat there with a scowl on her face and her arms folded as Middle held open the back of her bikini briefs and Small emptied a litre of cold natural yogurt down it. Sally screamed as the cold hit her and danced around manically as yogurt dripped down her legs. She sat back down with a huge squelch but was delighted to see her 3 lads all stood holding each other collapsing with laughter.

“Round 5 is Geography” Holly said. “First question to Middle what is the largest desert in the world called?” “The Sahara” he replied confidently. “Correct” said Holly. “Have a desert Mum” said Middle laughing as he stuck a big cream trifle in Sally’s face and then stuck it on her head. Sally spat bits of cream out of her mouth and wiped her eyes. “Could I have a drink please lads?” she asked and Big ran in the house and bought out a half full glass of wine. “I didn’t mean that” she said laughing put took a slip and raised her glass laughing.

“Okay for Little. What is the emblem on the Canadian Flag?” Holly asked. “A red oak leaf” he replied. “So close it’s a red maple leaf” Holly said. “Let him have it” Sally said generously. “No we are playing properly” Holly insisted. “Okay as we are talking maple leafs, lets have some Maple syrup” said Maura and Dermot emptied a bucket of maple syrup slowly over her head. She looked up and let it run down her face. She stuck her tongue out and cheekily took a lip of it. She rubbed it seductively into her boobs and said sexily “I’m lovely and sticky, I bet you’d love to get lovely and sticky with me Big”. Suddenly Big sprinted into the house. “Looks like he is going to get sticky too” Maura said in a dismissive manner. Holly and Sally roared with laughter especially when Little asked “What’s so funny mum”.

“Right the sixth and final round” said Holly. “The use of words and their meaning. Firstly Small use the word Caution in a sentence to explain it’s meaning?” “When I get up in the night I go downstairs with caution in case I tread on any of Mummy’s empty wine glasses” he said. Sally sat there with her gunge covered face in her hands cringing with embarrassment but also crying with laughter. “Correct you may give your mum her last gunging from you” Holly said. Small picked up two cartons of custard and stood behind Sally. He squeezed them out slowly over Sally’s head. “Give yourself a shampoo Sal” Maura shouted. Laughing Sally gsportingly massaged the custard into her already matted hair making it an even greater mess. Small emptied the second carton over her head and she extravagantly mock bathed in it. Rubbing it into her arms and legs and even took a slip of her wine. Small said “That’s naughty mum” and emptied the rest of the glass over Sally’s head as everyone laughed.

“Okay the final question for the boys this one to Middle. Please use Personification” Holly said. Middle turned to Sally and said “You are the personification of the most amazing mum anyone could hope to have”. Sally began to literally cry and gave her son a big gungy hug. “That is perfect” said Holly. “Do I deserve any more stuff over me, as I’m so amazing” Sally said to middle. He thought for a second and said “Yes, rules are rules”. He picked up the last big catering tin and emptied a load of oxtail soup over Sally’s head. She screamed again and sat there a dark, sodden, bedraggled but happy mess. The thick dark oxtail soup completely covered her head and briskly ran down her body covering her ample bust over her belly. It oozed into her already sodden bikini briefs, forming a pool in her lap and running on down her legs to the floor.

Sally slowly wiped her eyes clear and checked her boobs were still in her bikini and shook her hands clear and began to wipe some of the gunge off her. “No so fast Sal” Holly said. “My goodness what now” Sally sighed but also laughing.

Just then Harpz Kaur appeared on the Skype call.

“Hi ladies and lads” said Harpz. “Hi Harpz” replied Holly. “Look at the state of you” Harpz said looking at Sally and bursting out laughing. “If I’d been gunged on Saturday Mash Up I wouldn’t have been this messy and certainly not only wearing a bikini” Sally replied. “Have you got a bikini on under all that mess?” Harpz joked. “I hope so” said Sally checking her bikini top and briefs. “Yes they are still there” she joked. “Hiya Harpz” shouted Maura. “I guess that you are somehow behind this?” Harpz said laughing. “Why would you think that?” asked Maura innocently. “Well Sally doesn’t seem the sort of person who’d get gunged in a bikini on her own initiative?” Harpz suggested. “Couple of glasses of wine more than usual and she suddenly becomes fun” Maura suggested. “You damn liar” Sally giggled.

Just then Big reemerged from the house and opened their side gate and let in Sally’s BBC Business colleague Victoria Fritz and a camera operator.

“Vicky, I thought you were on Maternity Leave” Sally stammered. “I am but Maura contacted me about this and I thought it was such a great story. I got a camera operator and came over as I’m only a mile up the road and we can observe social distancing. Look at the state of you Sal” Victoria replied bursting out laughing. “Maura” screamed Sally. “Look it’s a great story and an original way to encourage children to do their schoolwork” Maura said. “Are you in a bikini. I’ve never knew you even owned one?” Victoria asked Sally. “Mine didn’t fit so I bought this off ASOS” Sally replied. “You could have worn the one I sent you?” Maura teased. “No way ” Sally joked. “What did Maura send you?” Big asked. “Nothing for you to worry about” Sally said quickly.

“We’ll film a great piece for BBC Breakfast and they have said they will link into you on Business Briefing in the morning” Victoria said. “Maura, I’ll kill you” Sally screamed. “Wow we’ll be on telly, how cool is that” Middle said.

“You’ve got to have your Super Gunging, an upgrade on our usual Super Slimming” Harpz informed Sally. “I’m not messy enough then?” Sally suggested and she groaned to see there were several unused buckets of gunge and a couple of new catering sized tins that Big had carried in and had been bought by Victoria. “What is a Super Gunging. This is what a Super Gunging is” Harpz said. Holly’s husband taped her on the shoulder and pointed to a chair he had set up. Holly noticed about half a dozen buckets of gunge freshly mixed and no doubt heading in her direction. Laughing she kicked her shoes off and ran over to the chair. Connor her husband placed the buckets in a semi circle in front of her and then unleashed them on her 6 buckets of alternating blue and red gunge were thrown over Holly. She screamed and kicked her legs out as the deluge of gunge hit her but was clearly enjoying it. Connor left the last bucket on her head and she took it off and threw it playfully at him.

She wiped the gunge away from her face and pushed her now lank multicoloured hair off her face. “Now that is a Super Gunging” she shouted. “Way to go Hol” Big shouted. “Anyone would think you’ve done that before” Maura teased. “That is my first ever gunging” Holly replied lying. “Now that was a Super Gunging” Harpz said. “I’ll demonstrate another Super Gunging just for you Big” Maura teased.

She went inside her Outhouse and into her shower and pulled the same lever which Holly has pulled and been gunged with gravy on her trip to Inishmore. She lent back like the dancer in Flashdance when the water cascaded down on her. This time it was a deluge of silage. The dark muddy substance totally enveloped her and even took her breath away. She regained her composure and flipped her sodden muddy hair back. “Now that is a Super Gunging” Maura giggled and pulled the other lever to be deluged with a torrent of cold water. She sexily washed some of the gunge off her and ran her hands through her hair. “Wow, she is perfect” Big enthused.

“That was impressive” Victoria said. “You should maybe try it, if you’ve just had a baby I bet your boobs are amazing. It would be something fun you could do with your husband or we could send Sal’s lads round to throw it at you from a safe distance. I can send you some sexy Ann Summers stuff to wear if you need to spice things up too” Maura enthused. “I’m not sure that’s my style” Victoria replied in a state of shock. “Or if you fancy joining me on Totty when lockdown is over. I’ve already got Carlotta, Hol and Sal interested. If you fancy giving it a go. We can always draw lots. We’ll slip you into a very sexy bikini and if those big boobs happen to pop out it will just be a bit of harmless fun” Maura continued almost sweeping Victoria up in Hurricane Maura.

“I am still here” Sally said waving her hands and trying to save Victoria from Hurricane Maura. “I think it is time that Sally Bundock has her Super Gunging” Harpz said. Sally sat back down as her 3 boys and Victoria all lined up 3 buckets or catering tins by their sides. Sally braced herself and was hit by 4 buckets of yellow gunge followed by 4 buckets or green gunge and finally two more buckets of green gunge and two more catering sized tins of baked beans. She screamed as the continuous deluge hit her and went into her mouth. The final two tins of bins delivered by Big and Middle it her right in the face and she closed her eyes and mouth almost choking as she couldn’t stop laughing. Finally she realised it was over and wiped her eyes clear and took a deep breath. She checked her bikini was still intact but was suddenly hit by a spray of ice cold water as Big turned a garden hose on her.

Instinctively she got up to run away from the water hitting her and making her shudder but as she got up and ran away the weight on gunge in her bikini briefs made them fall half down and partly expose her curvy gunge covered bum. She desperately pulled it up but fell over as Big chased her with the hose. On the floor she playfully tried to protect herself from the continual spray of the hose and her boobs accidentally popped out. “Your boobs mum” shouted Big laughing as Sally quickly pushed them back inside. Big handed the hose to Middle and then he handed it to Small as they playfully chased Sally around the garden hosing her down until she was fairly clean. She rung her hair out and hugged her 3 sons as they all laughed together.

Victoria then interviewed Sally and her sons for the feature. Harpz signed off. Sally putting a towel on her head said her goodbyes to Victoria. Maura instructed Big to oversee his brothers clearing up. Holly stood at home still covered in gunge but smiling. Maura was still messy and would need to shower again. “We did it” Sally said going inside the house and then added “Damn where is my robe”. “You must have left it outside” Holly suggested. “So I did that interview with Vick in my bikini” Sally said suddenly starting to panic. “Yes and your nipples looked like clothes pegs after all the cold water was sprayed on you” Maura said. “Stop teasing me” Sally replied. “No they did Sal you little minx” Holly confirmed. “Oh heck” Sally said. “Look you were gunged in your bikini, washed off in it and interviewed in it. You looked good in it white wobbly bits and all. Plus you flashed your bum and boobs you naughty woman” Maura joked. “Vick has said those bits will be cut out but I’ll get a copy of it all from her” Sally added.

“I never thought I’d have the confidence to do this put I did it and we have laughed more than any time since” Sally said getting upset. “He’d be so proud of how you are bringing up the boys” Holly said. “He’d have had a good laugh at it I reckon” said Maura. “Yes he’d have been there throwing the stuff at me if he was still with us” Sally admitted. “The lads chasing me around the garden with the hose was just like the old days. My white bits wobbling as I ran away from them” she added wiping her eyes again.

“You can do that again” Maura suggested. “I don’t intend to get that messy for a very long time if ever” Sally replied. “No I mean having fun with the hose in the garden with the boys. But we can always sort another gunging out for you” Maura said. “Yes I’ll be definitely slipping into that bikini or buying a few more to wear in the garden or if we ever get back to the beach” Sally said. “Go Sal” Holly added as they all signed off.

The next afternoon the 3 ladies spoke on Skype again. “The feature was a lot of fun and you looked really good in that bikini” Holly said. “Yes the feedback has been good and I wore one of the sexy thongs Maura sent me when I was on BBC 2 today” Sally admitted. “You got that bean out of your bum then?” Maura said giggling. “Yes I found a bean in the shower at 5:30am this morning” Sally replied laughing. “I’ve also had an offer to do a programme about being a single parent for BBC 1 and I’ve had an offer from a ASOS to be the face of the more mature lady or should I say body” she added. “That’s great what do they want you to model?” Holly asked. “You won’t believe it they mentioned swimwear and specifically bikinis” Sally said smiling naughtily.

Just then Big walked into the room. “Hi Big” Holly said. “Hiya Big Boy” Maura teased him. “Hi Hol, Hi Maura” said Big smiling. “You seem very happy” Sally said to her son.”Yes they think I’m really cool” he replied. “Is it because you know Maura?” Sally asked. “No they think it’s great that I’ve got such a cool mum and they all fancy you” said Big becoming slightly embarrassed. “They are asking for signed photos of you too” he added as he want to leave the room. “We could get Holly to do a sexy photoshoot maybe her bum in a thong and she could sign them too” Maura suggested to embarrass Holly. “I don’t think Hol would honestly do that” big replied as he left the room and all the women burst out laughing.

“Sally Bundock you MILF” said Holly “You two are such a bad influence especially you Maura Higgins” Sally replied. “I can get you some photos done from your gunging, maybe the nip slip ones and you can sign them. Or why not slip on some of that sexy Ann Summers stuff and we can get a photographer to visit you. Get a few shots of you in a thong with that big bouncy Bundock bum on view with your hands across your boobs” Maura enthused. “Steady on. Here comes Hurricane Maura” Holly said. “I’ve even got a load of fansites on Social Media” Sally admitted. “See there is huge demand there” Maura carried on. “No” Holly and Sally chorused in unison. “Just one more thing I’ve had another call from Producers of Totty they want us three on the second show in the series. We’ll all be in bikinis. I’ve sorted out some we can wear the really sexy thong ones and there is only a two third chance that we will have to go topless if we play the suggested games” Maura went on. “No Maura” Holly and Sally chorused again bursting out laughing.

“Just one more thing Sal, we’ve never shown our muffs to each other on Skype. I’ve seen Holly’s, she has seen mine. You two have tried on knickers together” Maura said. She stood up and dropped her shorts and thong to reveal her clean shaven muff. Sally took a swig of her wine stood up pulled her trousers down and stood there in her thong. Hollie and Maura wolf whistled. Sally took a deep breath, another swig of wine and dropped her thong. She stood there displaying a fairly hairy muff. “We are definitely going to have to get you a waxing after lockdown” Maura said. “Why not” said Sally laughing. Just then Big walked into the room and shouted “My God Mum what are you doing” as Sally quickly covered herself back up. “She’s encouraging me to strip online, she is such a bad influence aren’t you Sal?” said Maura laughing as Holly chuckled away and Sally sighed and took another sip of wine.

I was going to write something about Holly Hamilton and Sally Nugent under this title but then I had this idea. I’m also looking to work on something featuring Lucrezia Molinari. Plus I will get the Tiswas/OTT Reunion story finish I promise.

A new seat had been placed in the studio, ready for Veronica. She was dressed in a blue and red American Football style cheerleader outfit, with her reddish brown hair in two ponytails either side of her head.

Just as she had done with Millie, Shona explained what was going to happen next. Veronica took it all in and clearly couldn’t wait to get started. Shona walked over to where the camera was positioned, gave a quick cue, and then started filming.

“Hi, I’m Shona, and welcome to MAD Models, today we welcome Veronica, who wants to be a Premier League cheerleader, but do this she must pass the ultimat soccer spelling test, get one wrong, and she gets slimed!”

Veronica, already in character, smiled at the camera.

“Are you ready to play?”

“Sure”

“OK, your first name is BATSHUAYI”

“Who?”

“BATSHUAYI. He plays for Chelsea”.

“Oh, ok…”

“Remember, one wrong letter sees you slimed”, Shona interrupted.

“OK, I’ll try B, A, T, S…what was his name again?”

“BATSHUAYI”

“Erm”, Veronica hesitated, “W?”

Shona pressed a button, and a klaxon sounded. She then walked up to a selection of buckets, picking up one filled with Chelsea blue gunge. Without even saying a word to Veronica, she lifted it up and emptied the contents straight over her head. Veronica’s hair was completely covered in the thick blue gunge and it has covered most of her outfit too. She couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She was already messier than she had got before. She knew this was going to be fun.

Veronica noticed Millie, and another girl she didn’t recognise watching through the glass, she smiled and waved at them and blew them a kiss. She was clearly having a great time.

“Ooh, ok, we’ve got a giggler here I see”, teased Shona as she made her way back behind the camera. “How was that Veronica?”

“Yeh, it was, er, fun”, she said, “I’ve not been this messy ever!”

Shona laughed, “well there might be more to come yet, shall we move on to name two?”

“Yes please!”

“OK Veronica, the second name I want you to spell is DENDONCKER”.

“What?” Veronica spat out some gunge as she asked for the name again.

“DENBONCKER!” Shona repeated.

“OK, well, D, E, N, D, O, N” she paused.

“K?”

Shona interrupted her by pressing the klaxon again. Veronica frowned.

“Bad luck it was a C next”, Shona said as she picked up a second bucket and walked behind Veronica.

Once again Shona wasted no time in drenching Veronica in slime. This load was bright orange for Wolves. The gunge covered Veronica instantly. It was as if she had not been gunged in blue at all, as the thick orange slop continued to pour down.

Eventually, Shona put the bucket down and Veronica was left wiping gunge from her eyes, ears and mouth.

Millie and Lacey were still watching on. “Is that what they did to you?” Lacey asked.

“No, I was covered in baked beans”, Millie replied.

“Eww gross!” said Lacey laughing.

The pair went quiet again as they watched Shona move onto the third and final question.

“Ok Veronica, a nice easy one to finish, can you spell ARRIZABALAGA?”

Veronica laughed, she knew she had no chance with this and a third and final gunging seemed inevitable. Shona laughed as well, as she knew this would make a great video, and. Veronica would make a great model for MAD.

“Right, here goes”, said Veronica, taking a deep breath, “A, R, R, I, Z, A, B, E…”

Shona pressed the button to play the incorrect noise, and Veronica sighed playfully.

“Now”, said Shona, walking round teasingly again, “that was the wrong answer, and as it used to be tradition for goalkeepers to play in green, we’ve got some traditional green slime here, just for you”.

Veronica tipped her head back slightly in anticipation for what was to come. It didn’t disappoint. Shona upturned the bucket and engulfed the makeshift cheerleader in thick green slime. Veronica could be heard laughing as the thick green gunge covered her whole head and upper body. Shone smiled, and then placed the bucket down.

“Well Veronica”, she said cheekily, “safe to say you’ve passed the slime test, but don’t think you’ll be a football cheerleader anytime soon”.

With that Shona concluded the video before turning the camera off.

“You were amazing!” Shona exclaimed.

“Aww thanks, I loved it!” Veronica replied.

“That’s great, well hopefull there will be plenty more to come”.

The pair continued to chat as Lacey and Millie continued to look on through the glass. Just as she had done before, Shona pointed the way to the shower facilities and allowed Veronica to go and clean herself up. After a quick glance at her phone, and appearing to send two messages, she left the room too.

A few seconds later, the door opened in the room where Millie and Lacey will still sat.

“You made it!” the voice said.

“Yes, but I’m not so sure if should have done now”, said Lacey.

To be continued.

So the winners of our Elite Eight are…

Myleene Klass crushed Stacy Keibler to 37-10

Kimberly Walsh throttled Delta Goodrem 34-13

Holly Willoughby handled Lisa Scott-Lee 21-1

Zoe Salmon walloped Melina, Candice, and Maria 33-14

So our elite eight werent really competitive. But this final four sounds interesting.

Voting ends Tuesday at 11:59 PM, EST

Thought I’d start a new short quick read style story, more suited to a stay at home setting. (Drop a comment at the bottom for your favourite current/former UK sports reporters to see who is picked next)

One of the producers who worked several of the most popular messy shows had gotten in touch with Vicky Gomersall and asked if she would be wiling to do a stay at home messy show online against some of her friends and colleagues, to help the fans who were unable to attend shows due to the recent virus outbreak.

Whilst it was initially presented as a choice, the producer had heavily leant on some key lines in her contract and so Vicky agreed to take part, the producer arranged to have some gunge and messy supplies delivered to her house and to get her first opponent sorted out.

Vicky posted on Twitter advertising the ‘show’ she stated that her and the opponent would be playing a few mini games online and the one that loses overall would have to then upload a video of them having the gunge and stuff poured over them at home.

People quickly tweeted replies back to her with which of her fellow presenters she should try and get on the show, in the hope that they would see it as a good thing to do, especially when Vicky stated that people could donate to the covid charity during any live feed.

Vicky was hopeful that she would be able to do well in the games and set about looking them up online to try and give herself an early advantage as her former colleague Sarah-Jane Mee surprised her by being the first one to reply and accept the challenge. A few days later Sarah-Jane took delivery of the supplies in case she lost the game, hoping that she would be staying the winner and sending the supplies onto the next challenger.

The two ladies then took to their online pages and after setting a date and time for the viewers to join in and watch their battle, before highlighting that one of them would be ending it a lot messier than they began, and teasing that additional forfeits would be in place if one lost all 3 rounds.

Vote for which one should loses the challenges (and therefore gets messy)

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend its enactment. This story may feature scenes of nudity and/or scenes of a sexual nature. 

Continued from Part Two of Match One

The evening sun still beat down on the city centre rooftops. The city sweltered in the unusually warm early May weather. Sweaty, stressed, tired commuters struggled through the heat to get to train stations or stood melting at bus stops. Walking against the general flow of foot traffic, an eye-catching blonde woman made her way to the downtown television station’s offices and studios. She stepped into the lobby and sighed as the cool air of the air-conditioned building seemed to wash over her stickily warm body. She waved to the receptionist who smiled back before turning back to her iPad which was playing a re-run of the previous episode.

The blonde woman stepped into a changing room which to her relief had an attached shower and toilet. After giving herself a quick rinse under the shower to wash off the feel of the city heat, she pulled what she had picked out to wear for the episode out of her bag. She had just changed when the familiar stage-hand’s knock could be heard at the door. Making sure that what she was wearing sat properly, she followed her assigned guide into the dimly-lit studio.

As the studio lights warmed up to full brightness and the jaunty techno-jazz theme tune played over the public address system, viewers could see that everything was set for the second match of this series of Immerse the Nurse. Gunge tanks, dunk tanks and other paraphernalia were scattered waiting for use. A Match Two logo had replaced the previous version on the back wall.

The brightening lights revealed the blonde hostess standing below this logo while wearing a black one-piece swimsuit, a straw sun-hat and a pair of yellow-framed sunglasses. The swimsuit flattered her toned, tanned body perfectly.

The blonde smiled as the camera focussed on her as she leaned against a white sofa at the back of the stage. “Good evening!” she called cheerfully to be heard above the applause from the audience. “And welcome to Match Two of Immerse the Nurse: Season Two. I’m Billie Faiers. Tonight, our entrants are from a pair of hospitals that are new to the competition. These nurses represent Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham and Southampton General Hospital. Ladies, if you’re ready, come on out!”

With that said, a blonde nurse dressed in a white tunic, black belt and sheer black tights stepped into view alongside a longer-haired brunette wearing a black-belted light blue tunic and sheer black stockings. They both grinned and waved as they walked into view while the audience cheered with the odd wag letting loose with an ear-splitting wolf-whistle. Playing to the crowd a little, they walked over to Billie who had moved into the centre of the stage while allowing their hips to sway sexily from side-to-side.

Billie greeted each of the two nurses with a tight hug. She smiled warmly at the two young women. “Welcome, ladies, would you care to introduce yourselves, please?”

The two nurses glanced at each other, the brown-haired woman in the blue tunic giving the blonde a ‘go-ahead’ gesture. With a shrug, the blonde spoke quietly, just loudly enough for her voice to carry. “Hi, I’m Miranda and I’m an A & E nurse at Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham.”

The brunette then spoke up more confidently than her colleague from Birmingham. “Hello, everyone. My name is Veronica and I’m a ward nurse at Southampton General Hospital.”

Billie grinned at the two nurses. “Well, ladies, you were both nominated by your colleagues to put the fate of your cleanliness in the hands of the public,” she said mirthfully. “How do you feel about what could be happening in the next episode?”

Miranda grimaced. “I just hope I don’t wind up having to pull a forfeit out of the hat, Billie.”

“Well, you have to wait and see, Miranda,” laughed the reality television star. “How about you, Veronica?”

The blue-clad brunette smiled. “I want to find out the result already, Billie,” she boasted. “Let’s face it, there’s plenty of muck to sling when all is said and done.”

The blonde presenter rolled her eyes. “Well, you seem confident!” she remarked, as Veronica stuck her tongue out at her. “These two are putting their dignity in your hands, ladies and gentlemen. Details at the end of the show. Now, you may remember that thanks to our lovely roulette wheel, celebrity guest option number twenty-four was selected for tonight’s Healthy Celebrity Dunking. You may also have seen the advert which revealed our dunkee’s identity. Well, it’s time to properly meet her. Please, welcome, Amy Willerton!”

The audience burst into applause, clapping and cheering louder than at a football match it seemed. Into this maelstrom of noise and wearing the same swimsuit she had worn on the advert, stepped the blonde beauty pageant winner and television presenter. She smiled widely and waved at the audience, as she walked up to where Billie and the two nurses were waiting. There followed a quick four-way group hug.

Billie stepped out of the others’ embrace with a smile on her face. “Welcome to the show, Amy!”

“Thanks for having me, Billie,” replied the blonde woman cheekily.

Billie laughed. “I’m not sure you’ll be saying that at the end of the night!” she joked. “So, why did you volunteer to take a probable dunking?”

“Well, since the health service has always been in need of extra funds,” explained Amy. “It seemed like this was the least I could do.”

Billie grinned. “Very well said. Now, I believe you’ve accepted the challenge of challenging the studio and at-home audience. What’s their challenge, you crazy girl?”

Amy smiled bashfully at the camera. “Once again, everyone, if donations top fifteen hundred pounds I’ll be getting dunked. As with Jenna and Madison before me, a donation of eight thousand will mean I fill this swimsuit with mushy peas and then, if donations top sixteen grand, I’ll be dunked naked.”

Billie looked at the model-turned-television presenter and shook her head. “Amy, Amy, Amy, I may have joked about it before but now I’m serious, you must be crazy to go through with that.”

The swimsuit-clad blonde shrugged. “Maybe I am.”

The blonde Essex-girl shot the other woman a sly grin. “Well, let’s see what happens,” she snarked. If this works out as it normally does, Amy is going to be getting dunked in the nip very soon! “Ladies and gentlemen, the usual five-minute collection by our stage-hands will begin shortly. For those of you watching at home, you will have five minutes to simply text ‘Nurse’ to four-eight-six-four-three to make a five-pound donation. Those five minutes are starting… Now!”

As previously, a dozen stage-hands rushed around the studio audience as there was a scramble to stuff fistfuls of coins and banknotes into the collection buckets. On a screen, the tally of texted donations rocketed upwards. As it did so, Billie carried two jugs of mushy peas from back-stage. When the outside donations hit eight thousand, a klaxon rang out jarringly, making Amy jump.

Billie grinned slyly as she reached out and pulled Amy’s swimsuit away from the blonde’s chest. The blonde former Miss Universe Great Britain’s eyes widened, as the other blonde tipped the lumpy green mush into the now-stretched-out red lycra. Creamy, buttery squashed peas tumbled over her boobs and down her belly, gathering in the gusset of the swimsuit. Billie then grabbed the second jug of lumpy green slop and poured it down Amy’s back, holding open a gap in the waistband above her arse. Amy squirmed as her red swimsuit bulged out around her arse and muff. Billie then let the lycra snap back into place. Amy felt the squidgy peas get forced into every possible one of her different crevices and squirmed at the feeling of the slop sloshing around against the sensitive areas of her lower torso.

Suddenly, the noise of a gong filled the air. The stage-hands moved back-stage again to count the money they had collected. The gaze of everyone in the audience shifted to the on-screen tally of what had been donated by those watching at home.

The blonde reality TV star-cum-presenter looked at the amount flashing red on the screen and smirked at the other swimsuit-wearing blonde. “Well, Amy, that amount of telephone donations tells it’s own story,” she commented. “Before we even add in the studio collection’s funds, we can all see that we’re only one grand short of what is needed for you to show the world what’s under that swimsuit.”

Amy groaned, her cheeks turning bright red in embarrassment. “Why don’t I just take off my swimsuit now and be done with it?” she muttered.

Billie had just been handed a glittery gold envelope. “Oh, my…” she gasped in surprise. “It seems our studio audience really want you to get dunked wearing nothing at all, Amy. Their donations have beaten what was required by your challenge by four thousand pounds, bringing the total to a stonking twenty thousand pounds! So, I think you can ditch the swimsuit.” Cheers filled the air when the audience heard this.

Amy’s face fell. Pouting grumpily, and with trepidatious hands, she reached up and slid the straps of her swimsuit off her shoulders. She then pushed the tight lycra down off the curve of her tits before bending over to slide the swimwear over her sexy bum. At this point, gravity defeated friction’s ability to keep the swimsuit in place and it fell into a heap around her ankles. Bits of mushy peas clung to Amy’s boobs and buttocks. As the ex-beauty queen tried to step out of the puddle of lycra tangled around her feet she tripped and landed sprawled on the floor, barely breaking her impromptu prat-fall with her arms. The audience roared with laughter at the unexpected comic moment.

Giggling, Billie walked over and helped the other blonde to her feet. Amy immediately covered her muff as she straightened up. “You okay, Amy?”

“Ouch, that stung!” groaned Amy. “But I’m fine.”

“Well, if that’s the case, why don’t you take a seat?” The blonde hostess gestured towards the waiting dunk tank.

Smiling tightly, Amy shuffled over to the ladder to the dunk tank’s seat and clambered up and into position, her feet dangling above the slop below. She stared warily at the tank of muck.

“Ladies and gentlemen,  you’ve been waiting all evening for this,” rambled the blonde hostess from Essex. “Most of the slop is waiting for Amy to drop in. We just have to add a couple of things.” The audience cheered in response to this announcement.

Two stage-hands walked up to the slop-filled tank and each of them poured in a bucket of purple, yellow, green and red gloss paint. They followed this with two buckets of extra thick green, blue, pink, brown and black slime. In fact, it was so thick that,  in their heads, both Billie and Amy called it sludge. Between this and the paint, the formerly mucky grey slop now was a psychedelic swirl of different colours. Amy grimaced as she gazed at the gloop below her, her nose wrinkling at the smell wafting upwards. Oh, God! That’s a horrible smell! 

Billie tapped a finger against her lips contemplatively before a sneaky smile wormed its way across her face. “Well, Amy Willerton,” she said. “You signed up for it and challenged our viewers’ pockets. Now, however, it’s time to take a dunk!”

The audience cheered as Amy felt the seat collapse beneath her. She let out a brief shriek of shock. This was quickly cut off as she belly-flopped with her legs and arms akimbo into the mucky-feeling slop below. She plunged under the sloppy surface, sending a wave washing out of the tank. Arms and legs occasionally broke the surface as she thrashed around beneath the goo while trying to find her footing. Eventually,  Amy succeeded and stood up, emerging as an unrecognisable slop-covered blob. Globules of goodness-knows-what dipped from her face as she hung her head dejectedly.

“Are you okay, Amy?” asked Billie anxiously.

“I think I may have made a mistake when I signed up for this, Billie,” replied the blob of slop. “This is so gross!”

“I’m not surprised,” snorted Billie. “It looks awful. My sister Sam would agree with you after last season’s finale.”

The show’s blonde hostess walked back over to where the two nurses had watched Amy’s dunking. “Well, while Amy soaks in the slop, let’s move things along,” she grinned, motioning to the two nurses.  “Now, Miranda and Veronica here are submitting to our usual public online vote. Their fate is in your hands. As always, please, feel free to suggest a messy forfeit for the loser. That’s all we have time for, good night!”

Billie, Miranda and Veronica smiled and waved as the camera panned across the audience who were cheering and wolf-whistling loudly. The credits rolled with the usual split-screen showing the two nurses smiling for the camera on one side and Amy wallowing in the slop-filled dunk tank. A voiceover gave the usual directions on how to vote before the channel switched to an advertisement break between programmes.

Author’s note: Hope you enjoyed/will enjoy this. Usual polls are below. Polls close 10 pm Irish/UK time tomorrow. 

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature. 

Hi Storm Huntley here, you may know me as the Scottish Girl off the Jeremy Vine Show. But I’ve also got a naughty side and I want you to decide my fate and select my running mate. As you can see below I like oranges but I also like to put my hands on a nice pair be it my own or that of another girl. I also like to wear white socks but do I also like to wear sensible white knickers, thongs or nothing at all. This lassie is saying nowt.

I could be Cooking Up A Storm whereby myself and a guest will have a fun go at cooking where you just know there is great chance we will get messy and naughty.

We could be In The Eye of A Storm whereby a wind and rain machine is turned on us with a few surprise weather items coming our way.

Or will there be A Storm In A Teacup when we will have a fun meal and end up chatting in my own giant teacup.

Who do you want to be my guests and what substances should we get messy with?

Veronica came out of the shower, and was now dressed in her own jeans and hoodie again. She had just about managed to get all of the gunge out of her hair and her ears too.

She made her way back to the room at the back of the studio and poured herself a glass of water. She had been asked to wait for Shona to discuss what would happen next. Suddenly she heard a squeal, and turned round to look through the window behind her.

She could see Shona, and Millie, but there was a third girl there too, and she was covered in custard. Veronica watched on as Shona and Millie took it in turns to pour custard over the head of the brunette. She found herself getting quite excited by this sight and had to take a large sip of water to calm herself down.

The girl being covered continued to squeal as the cold contents of each carton rained down on her. Veronica could see Millie was in hysterics as she poured more custard on the brunette “victim”.

Eventually the gunging stopped, and the girl, wearing only a swimming costume, was allowed to leave to get cleaned up. Millie and Shona could be seen exchanging a few words before leaving the studio too.

Veronica took the opportunity to have another glance at her phone. She still hadn’t heard from Martin. She really wanted to find out more about just how well he knew Shona. She was certain it was a coincidence but still wanted to know more.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and Shona and Millie walked in. Shona removed the bobble from her hair and let her long blonde hair fall gracefully over her shoulders.

“Phew! All that gunging is hard work”, she said, pouring herself a drink of water.

“Who was that just then?” Veronica asked.

“That was Lacey”, Shona jumped in before Millie could answer.

“Oh right, how did that come about then?”

“She’s my best friend”, Millie replied, “and the reason I ended up here in the first place”.

Veronica laughed. The three girls continued to chat for a little while longer when the door opened again. This time it was Frank.

“How are we all doing? I hear we had one more audition too?”

Shona nodded and then started playing with her hair. “Yes, Lacey joined us, she’s just getting cleaned up now Frank”.

“Ah excellent, how did everything go? How did you all find it?”

“I loved it!” Veronica shrieked without a moments hesitation.

“Great, what about you Millie?”

“It was OK I guess, I preferred gunging someone else though”.

“Well you don’t need to decide anything now. If you want to come and do more, you are more than welcome, and of course we pay our models for each shoot”.

Shona was about to add something when Lacey walked I. Her hair still wet from her shower.

“Hey Lacey, you ok?” Shona asked. “This is Frank, from the agency”.

“Nice to meet you Lacey”, he said.

“Thanks. I’m really not sure this is for me though”.

“Well”, Frank added, “as I said to the others, nothing has to be decided today, why don’t you have a chat to Millie and then see what you think?”

After a few more minutes of chatting, the three auditionees made their way out of the room and headed towards the exit. Millie and Lacey had both come in their own cars so woulf travel separately but agreed to meet at the local bar later.

Shona and Frank were now left in the office.

“So, how do you think it went Shona?”

“I was really pleased Frank, I think we’ve recruited well. I don’t know if Lacey will stock at it though”.

“That’s ok, two out of three ain’t bad as they say. You can head off too if you want”.

Shona smiled, said goodbye and headed off. Frank sat down at his desk, delighted with the work his lead model had done. She clearly had a talent for spotting potential, as well as looking great covered in gunge.

Frank packed up his paper work and headed off home, he knew he had to get back early, as he had promised his sister that he would take his nephew Ed for a driving lesson.

To be continued. You may wish to refer back to The Race if you don’t remember Ed…

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

The show returned from commercial, with Holly Willoughby greeting viewers. “Welcome back folks! You have been voting in our gunge vote. Now lets see the results!”

Holly darted across the stage to where the gunge tank spun out from the wall. Again, seated on either side were Michelle Keegan

And Georgia May-Foote

Holly began again, “Ladies, votes have been pouring in, and one of you is going to get gunged. How are you feeling right about now?

Michelle answered first “I feel good, I feel like a winner. And I dont wanna get gunge in my hair!” Holly responded “Confidence, good. But if you lose, a lot more than just hair you will be ruined. Georgia, how about yourself?” Georgia responded “Hopeful but nervous.” Holly laughed “Okay, not as confident I see. Now enough discussion, lets go to the polls!”

The poll shown and the results were tallied, until a final result was shown…

The crowd cheered, Georgia pumped her fists in victory, while Michelle showed a nervous and surprised smile. She ran her hands through her hair, as if realizing how it was about to be ruined. Holly chimed in “Well Michelle, take your seat, you know what has to happen. I know youre worried about your hair, but think of it as a new shampoo. And youre very tan, this gunge will just be like a new shade.” Michelle responded “These are good clothes!” Holly shot back “Thats your fault, you should have thought of that ahead of time. And dont think about taking any clothes off, this is a family show!” Everyone, even Michelle, laughed at this.

Michelle got up, earning a few whistles and hoots from the audience. She nervously glanced up at the green and yellow slime that sat above the tank, knowing it would soon be upon her. She took her seat as Holly spoke again “Michelle, your fate was in the hands of the people, and this is what they wanted!” Michelle tensed up, the bells rang, and the horn sounded.

The gunge landed with force in Michelle’s brown hair. The green and yellow gunge formed a stark with the brown locks. Michelle yelped and cringed at this, and continued to cringe as she felt it cascade down her back. The gunge began to pour over her face, obscuring her features. The yellow and green slime flowed onto Michelle’s clothes and legs. It even began to drip on her shoes.

Michelle scrunched up her face at this unpleasant feeling, and the knowledge that her makeup, hair, and clothes were being ruined. The thickness and stickiness of the gunge made her skin crawl. She could it dripping off her face and chin.

Holly laughed, as did a relieved Georgia while a defeated Michelle laughed with surrender. “Michelle, you always look lovely, but this is a new look! How do you feel?” Michelle feigned thoughtfulness “Oh, well I have gunge everywhere you can think of. Georgia, you have no idea how lucky you are.” Georgia, Holly, and the crowd laughed again while Michelle continued. “Ugh, what is this sludge?” she asked while stretching out her gunge covered arms.

Holly chuckled again, “Thank you ladies, its been a pleasure. Have a goodnight!” The crowd applauded as the the tank and chairs began to spin away. The gunge-covered Michellecand the grateful Georgia spun away with them, waving goodbye, something Georgia did more enthusiastically.

Holly closed out the show. “Oh my, we’ve had fun here tonight. Join us next week, it will be quite the show. See you then!”

Network Note: Next week on the House Party, reporters Laura Tobin and Lucy Verasamy will be here to tell us about the weather, sports experts Natalie Sawyer and Anna Woolhouse help analyze some new happenings, and so much more.

Author’s note – there is no mess in this part of the story, but this sets up the next stage of the Messfits adventure. Rest assured there will be some mess in part 6!

Veronica walked in to an empty house, she had still not heard anything from Martin.

She decided to order a takeaway and put her feet up for a bit. She still had so much to work out. Should she tell anybody at work about this? Should she tell her other housemates? And what would she say when she messaged Shona tomorrow?

All of this was going on inside Veronica’s head, and on top of that, she was still reminiscing about what had been an amazing gunging earlier that afternoon. There was a part of her that wanted to whole world to see it and know about it, while another part of her worried what people might think.

Not long after her pizza arrived, she heard the front door open again, finally Martin was home. Veronica was keen to speak to him of course, but decided it was best to wait a little while, she didn’t want to seem over keen after all. She didn’t need to wait long though, as soon enough, Martin walked into the kitchen and asked her how her day had been.

“Didn’t you get my text?” Shona asked, ompletely ignoring Martin’s question.

“No, sorry, I think my phone is playing up”. He took it out of his pocket and had a look.

“Oh, Yeh, sorry, it’s there now. Shona? Blimey, we haven’t seen each other in years, we were at school together! I think she does some modelling or something these days, how on earth did you end up meeting her?”

Veronica went on to explain where she had been all day and what she had been up to. Martin sat there, open mouthed, hanging on to Veronica’s every word. He knew she had put the video of her gunging online, but didn’t know anything else had come from it.

“So, wait a second”, he said, “you’re telling me, you spent the afternoon getting gunged by Shona! That was literally a fantasy of mine when I was 16!” he replied.

Veronica laughed, “well you never know, depending on how this all goes, I might be able to help fulfil your wildest fantasises! After all. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have met her in the first place”.

Veronica turned and walked out before Martin had chance to respond. He didn’t know what to think or what to say. He took his phone out again and logged onto social media, he found Shona’s profile and decided to send her a message. He didn’t know if he would get a reply, he hadn’t heard from her since high school, but figured their new mutual acquaintance would be a good place to start. He was also eager to find some of her photo shoots, he never thought he’d see her getting gunged!

Meanwhile, Frank was in the car, taking his nephew Ed on his fifth driving lesson. Ed wasn’t the most confident generally, and especially not behind the wheel, but Frank knew how to get the best out of him. The arrangement worked well as Frank was keen for Ed to pass as soon as possible, and to get the whole thing over and done with, while Ed wasn’t the most sociable so didn’t really talk much to Frank about anything, especially work.

The one thing Frank did like to do was wind Ed up about his unsuccessful love life. As they pulled up in a near empty car park, Frank asked, “so Ed, no girlfriend yet mate?”

“No”, Ed replied, blushing, “there is this one girl I quite like, Millie, but I don’t think she’s interested. I think her friend Lacey might like me though so it’s a bit awkward”.

Frank almost choked on the packet of crisps he’d been eating. “Sorry, what did you sat their names were?”

“There’s Millie, and Lacey, why?”

“No reason, I’m sure it’ll work out – anyway on to bay parking”, Frank said desperate to change the subject.

“I can show you a picture of them if you like”, Ed continued, “I was with Lacey just the other day actually”.

“No, no, there’s really no need mate. I need your full concentration for this parking”.

The lesson continued, and Ed was able to focus on his parking, despite what now seemed to be an awkward tension in the car.

As the lesson came to a close, and Frank was dropping Ed off at home, he apologised and promised not to push him on his love life anymore. Ed looked very relieved about this and thanked his uncle for the lesson.

As soon as Ed was out of the car, Frank frantically connected his phone to the Bluetooth and tried to call Shona. There was no answer so he knew he would have to wait until the morning.

The night drew on, Martin still hadn’t heard from Shona, and neither had Frank. She had been busy watching back the videos that had been filmed earlier, and editing them, they were so good, she wanted to see if they could be used, but only if the others agreed of course. She was confident that Veronica would do a lot more, but less convinced about Millie, and even less so about Lacey. She finished off the editing before getting ready for bed.

As she did, she took a quick look at her phone and saw the message from Martin. She had half expected one. She sent him a quick reply, but was keen to keep him at a distance, she always found him a little odd in high school, she knew she was going to have to manage things very carefully moving forward.

She also noticed the missed call from Frank, and sent him a text telling him she’d come in early tomorrow morning to catch up. All of a sudden, things were starting to get very messy, and not in a good way.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature. 

This is another scene setting story for Part 2. There is only some slightly different messy action right at the end but I needed to write this to get us to Part 2. Victoria Fritz actually turns 36 on Thursday and when I noticed this it fitted perfectly into a story idea I had in mind to feature her.

Maura Higgins the pocket dynamo known affectionately as Hurricane Maura had a reputation for causing chaos which usually resulted in the females around her ending up in a state of undress and covered in gunge. However despite her having an ability to get or steamroller these women to do things they would have previously thought of as obscene and degrading. She somehow instilled a greater confidence, sense of fun and a zest for life into these women and they all ended up happier.

Her two biggest successes were BBC Sports Presenter Holly Hamilton who despite being a recently married, stunning blonde in her early 30’s had always maintained a very reserved sensible white knicker wearing lifestyle. However spending a night with Maura in her holiday home and a fun gunging later. Holly now loved Ann Summers type sexy underwear was a thong convert and was having the best sex of her life with husband.

Sally Bundock a BBC Business presenter in her late 40’s had been having a tough time with her 3 growing sons and missed her late husband terribly. Holly was a close friend of hers and suggested that Maura “encourage” Sally’s oldest son to revise. Some naughty promises later Maura had him eating out of her hand and when she discovered that Sally used to mess around getting wet in the garden with her sons. Sally was swept along by Hurricane Maura and was steamrollered into being gunged by her sons wearing only a bikini. This bought Sally and her boys much closer together and the happiest she had been since her husband passed away. Her gunging ended up being featured on BBC Breakfast and Sally became an unlikely elder pin up for adolescent lads and had landed a contract to be a bikini model for ASOS. This had made her much more confident and she too had embraced the joys of thongs over her previous sensible white knickers.

In Lockdown the ladies met up for their regular video call chat.

“Hiya Sexy Sal and Holly Fishyfanny” said Maura signing in to the chat. “Hey Hurricane Maura, what chaos have you caused today?” a smiling Sally asked. “Me chaos, you were just itching to get your white wobbly bits into that bikini and be gunged” Maura joked. “Well, I got my white wobbly bits into several bikinis today” Sally teased. “That sexy thong one I sent you?” Maura asked. “No not yet I need to lose a few pounds before that goes on” Sally said naughtily. “Have you been online shopping then?” Holly asked. “No the ASOS samples arrived and I tried them on” Sally said. “I took some selfies to show you” she added sending them to Holly and Maura.

They started looking through them “You look great Sal. So confident and happy” said Holly. “Well that’s thanks to you and Maura” Sally replied. Maura began to laugh then Holly shrieked in shock as they came across a photo of Sally just wearing a peek-a-boo bra and with her muff freshly shaved. “Slutty Sexy Sally” Maura said laughing. “Where did you get that?” Holly asked giggling. “It’s one Maura sent me and after deciding to shave the bush I decided to be naughty and try it on” Sally admitted laughing. “Well I never Sally Sensible Knickers to Sexy Slutty Sal” Maura teased. “That’s your new name in my phone” she added. How many missing things did you find in that bush of yours Slutty” Maura continued. “Just a couple of hair grips and an old pound coin. I guess I’m now known as Slutty. I’d have been horrified to think I’d be discussing let alone doing these things only a couple of weeks ago. But since I’ve known you Maura life has become much more fun again. I’ve lost my inhibitions but I feel sexy and more confident than I have in years and yes a bit slutty” Sally replied laughing.

“Did it smart when you waxed?” Holly asked. “A bit I’ve been walking with my legs apart since then. Don’t you dare say anything Maura” Sally replied. “At least there will be more room for the toys to fit. Did you get the right batteries in the end Slutty” Maura joked. “Yes longlife batteries are a lifesaver” Sally replied laughing. Holly moved in her chair and groaned. “Looks like you are smarting somewhere Hol” Maura suggested. “Have you been naughty Hol?” Sally asked. Holly smiled and nodded. “Was it a nice tight fit?” Maura asked. Holly nodded again. “Holl bunny” Sally added. “It is going to be a very rare threat I’ve told him that” Holly added laughing.

The talk turned to their proposed appearance on the Tiswas/OTT spin off Totty. Maura had been invited on the second episode once lockdown was over and was trying to rope Sally and Holly to join her. “You’ve still got to decide what you’ll wear when we all go on Totty. I still prefer the Thong bikinis but I was sent this new today by Ann Summers we could all wear different colours of this design” said Maura sending the photo over.

“Wow you look stunning Maura” Sally said. “I’ll send your oldest Big a signed photo of this Maura” replied, “What happened about all his mates wanting a photo of you in your bikini Sal” Holly asked laughing. “I printed off about 20 and signed them. He’s popped them through his mate’s doors” Sally replied. “I bet you never thought you’d be doing that a week ago Slutty” Maura teased. “Neither did I” Sally replied laughing. “I still think you should do a print run on that peekaboo bra one” Maura insisted. “No I’d probably lose my job over that if it went public and what would my kids say” Sally joked. “Plus we won’t be wearing that to go on Totty either” said Holly pointing to the photo Maura had sent. “You are going to come on it. There is no pressure to go topless or nude and we’ll have a laugh. You could bring Big along with you Slutty and he could finally meet me” Maura said. “I’ve had a think about it and if I only ended up in a bikini and we had a bit of gunging fun. I’d be prepared to do it. Connor (Holly’s husband) thinks it would be a good laugh too” Holly said knowing she may regret it. “What about you Slutty?” Maura pressed Sally. “Go on then. Other BBC staffers did much worse on that Tiswas/OTT reunion and I’ve been seen in my bikini now on TV” Sally admitted. “Way to go Slutty Sal” Holly replied. “I just know that something embarrassing will happen when Hurricane Maura is about but I don’t care” Sally added.

“That’s good news as I’d told them that you’d both do it. They will send the contracts over in the morning” Maura said. “Here we go again” Holly said laughing. “Oh I’ve been approached about shooting my 2021 Calendar next month. I could try and get one sorted out for either of you two” Maura suggested. “No!” said Sally. “Why not Slutty?” asked Maura. “I’m already committed to one. My local church has decided to do a Calendar Girls type calendar and I’ll be on the cover, Miss January and Miss December” Sally said proudly. “They were cool with your gunging exploits then?” Holly asked. “Yes the vicar said he had wanted to do one of these calendars for years and he has asked if you two will be in one of the photos with me” she added. “Count me in Slutty” Maura replied. “And me” said Holly. “I thought possibly me could be naked with us just showing our bums looking at a Christmas Tree” Sally suggested. “Awesome idea, I’d be prepared to do that” Holly replied. “We could be stood with our bums against the Christmas Tree and showing our Holy Trinities” Maura joked. They all burst out laughing. “No I wouldn’t want to get ant pine needles up my bum” Holly joked. “Well you felt a prick up your bum today” Maura replied. Sally spat her wine out as she was laughing so much. Holly had a look of horror on her face but was laughing. “You are so rude Maura but it is so much fun just talking to you” Holly added.

“When she tried to rope Victoria Fritz to coming on Totty when she did that feature on my gunging on Sunday” Sally said laughing. “The poor girl only had her second baby 7 weeks ago” Sally added. “Yes I know. Her tits will be massive now. A fun night away from the baby showing off her blooming post birth body would be just what she needs. I could persuade Totty to let her come on too” Maura insisted. “No poor Vick probably has baby sick in her hair and is trying her best to stay on top of things” Sally said. “Well if she is used to having mucky hair then she’d be up for a gunging no problem. Give me her number or even better call her now and we’ll convince her to join us. Or should I just sign her up and we surprise her?” Maura suggested. “Oh heck it’s Vick’s birthday on the 14th. I’ll have to rush and send her a card” Holly said remembering. “Her birthday we need to give her a fun surprise. You’ve got to give me her number now” Maura continued. “What have I done?” Holly thought as she had visions of Victoria topless spraying Maura with lactated milk. “She loved throwing the gunge at you on Sunday too. She’d be so up for it” Maura went on undeterred. “I am not letting you have Vick’s number or her address” Sally insisted. “The least we can do is send her some of the Ann Summers stuff” Maura suggested. “I think that’s a good idea” said Holly hoping it would direct Hurricane Maura away from a crash course into Victoria’s life. “Yes, she’d see the funny side of that and give her something to aim to wear when she is back in shape” Sally said.

Just then Sally’s phone rang and automatically she answered it. “Hello Sal, it’s Vick here, hope that you are well. I’m at my whits end the baby won’t settle, she has puked in my hair, my breasts are leaking through the pads and my eldest has had a tantrum” Victoria Fritz said. “Hang on a second Vick, I’m just on a video chat with Hol and Maura. I’ll finish my call with them and then speak to you” Sally replied. “I’m so sorry Sal, I’ve tried everything my mum and sister have suggested, my husband is away working and I just don’t know what to do” Victoria said desperately.

“We’ll go now and let Sal talk to you” Holly said. “Hang on in there Victoria. You’ll get through this. I heard that ice cubes actually stop breasts leaking or at least you’ll have nipples like clothes pegs to you with your enormous boobs” Maura said joking. “I’m so sorry to interrupt your call, hiya Holly and hello Maura. It was nice to speak to you on Sunday” said Victoria in a very subdued voice. “Don’t be crude to Vick either Maura. You’ve only spoken to her once” Sally said. “We’ll hang up now” Holly added keen to get Maura off the line. “No I should go, I interrupted your chat” said Victoria beginning to cry. “Oh please don’t hang up Vick” said Sally as Holly signed off. “I’d better go, hope things are okay Vick, speak to you soon Slutty” said Maura. “Please don’t hang up Maura, I’d really like a bit of a fun girlie chat as much as anything” pleaded Victoria. “Also did you just call our Sal Slutty?” she asked. “We don’t need to worry about that. We are here to talk about you and Maura will hang up” Sally said jumping in.

“Well Vick I christened her Slutty tonight as she has been trying on some bikinis and sent us a very rude nude selfie my mistake, Plus she has deforested her bush. I can send you the photo if you give me your number” Maura began. “Look this is about trying to help Vick not about me sending the wrong photo over” Sally said desperately. But Victoria gave Maura her number and as Sally feared Maura pinged the photo over. “Wow that is so sexy Sal” Victoria said. “I want her to start dating again and so does her eldest son” Maura went on. “Yes I’ve tried to encourage her to do that. But she always says no” Victoria replied. “I may just put her on Tinder and use the slogan “Slutty Sally Bundock is after some really great cock” Maura said. “Maura” screamed Sally. But Victoria began to laugh and said “That is the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages”.

“She’s going to do a nude calendar and come on Totty with me and Up The Hol” Maura went on. “Wow, why do you call her Up The Hol?” Victoria asked beginning to feel more relaxed as Sally began to cringe knowing that Hurricane Maura was about to be unleashed. “She took it up the hole today, so is walking like a cowgirl” Maura went on. “I never had Holly down as someone who’d do that” Victoria replied. “Look we are trying to sort out Victoria, not discuss Holly’s love life” Sally chipped in. “She has told me she is having the best sex of her life thanks to Maura and also Maura has been a godsend to you Sal from what you said” Victoria said. “Yes Maura has got me doing things I’d never dreamed of doing last week and on Sunday we were happier than we’d been since Paul died. But I think we’d do better talking privately” Sally said trying to keep Victoria at arms length from Hurricane Maura.
“Sunday was such fun, just to have a little break from the children and to see you gunged and the lads hosing you down and when your bikini bottoms nearly fell down. I laughed about it all the way home” Victoria said. “Yes it was funny and the lads felt we were a family once more. Plus I’m now an unlikely sex symbol” Sally replied. “So you thought the gunging was funny then?” Maura asked. “Yes poor Sally when she’d taken all that stuff and still had to take the Super Sploshing” Victoria replied laughing. “What made you decide to do that Sal. You were an amazing sport?” Victoria asked. “I persuaded her, it was going to be me and Holly gunged first but when I heard that Slutty used to be in water fights in her bikini with the boys. I just had to get her back into it and feeling good about herself. We’ve got her into thongs, she is trying on the Ann Summers stuff. We have turned her into a super MILF” Maura enthused. “Vick doesn’t want to hear about me, she needs to discuss her issues with the baby” Sally pleaded.

“No I probably needed a fun girlie chat more than anything” Victoria admitted. Just then Sally’s youngest son called to her. “Look you go and see what he wants I’ll stay on here and chat to Maura” Victoria said. “No it’s fine honestly” Sally said as Little shouted “Mum” again. “No I insist” said Victoria cutting off the call with Sally. “Now what’s really upsetting you apart from puke in your hair, your tits leaking and your husband being away so you are gagging for it?” Maura asked. “You do make me laugh” Victoria replied. “I can send Sally’s oldest lad around if you need anything fetching. He worships the ground I walk on” Maura joked. “His first crush was on me, now I’m a smelly, sweaty, mum of 2, cannot shift the baby weight, lounging around in my pajamas trying to cope with things” Victoria said. “When will your husband be back?” Maura asked. “He gets back late Wednesday night. Plus it’s my birthday on Thursday, I turn 36 but feel 46” Victoria sighed. “Look at Slutty, she’s 48 and you’ve seen how sexy she can be” Maura suggested. “The fact that you call her Slutty and she allows it. Cracks me up” Victoria admitted. “She doesn’t have much choice. Now lets get a name for you. Fritz Tits. No you’ll just be Tits as your tits are clearly massive now and much bigger than mine. Here see” said Maura lifting her top up to show her pert breasts as she was braless underneath.

“Wow I wish my body was like that” Victoria said. “What would you say was the best your body looked?” Maura asked. “My wedding day in France 5 years ago” said Victoria sending a photo over.

“Wow you looked amazing and you still do” and we’ll prove it Maura said standing up in front of the camera and slipping her top over her head to stand there topless. She then took her jeans off and hopped out of her thong to be stood naked in front of her screen. “Now you do the same Tits” she told Victoria. “I really don’t want to as I’m embarrassed by my body” Victoria said. “Nonsense you are brilliant and beautiful even if you do smell of baby puke. Lets see those fabulous milk leaking breasts Tits” Maura ordered Victoria. Slowly Victoria stood up and reached back into her neck she unzipped her baggy dress and slowly pull it over her head. She stood there in a vest top and baggy knickers feeling rather uncomfortable. “Just take your time. This will make you feel better about yourself” Maura assured her. Victoria slowly untucked her vest top and pulled it over her head to reveal a grey nursing bra which her breasts barely fitted into. Her belly was still flabby but no where near as bad as Victoria had made out. “Can I stop here?” Victoria asked. “No everything needs to come off like I did” Maura said. Victoria undid her nursing bra at the front and her large lactating breasts bounced free. Some milk actually leaked out of the right nipple and ran down into her belly button. “Now those parachute knickers” Maura joked. Victoria took a deep breath and dropped her knickers to reveal a growing push and a slightly sagging vagina only 7 weeks post birth.

“Your boobs are bigger and better than they were on that photo and you have got that post baby glow. You may be tired and look like shit but you are still a sexy woman. Push your boobs up Tits and say I am a sexy woman” Maura instructed her. Victoria pushed her boobs up but the left nipple expressed into her face and she began to laugh. “Do it and say it Tits” Maura encouraged her. Victoria pushed her boobs up and said “I am a sexy woman” as both breasts expressed into her face and she laughed again. “Now grab a couple of ice cubes and rub them on your nipples to stop them leaking. It will relax you and make you feel sexy. “Say to yourself I feel sexy” Maura encouraged her. Victoria said it to herself several times and began to feel better about herself. “The children are asleep now. You get yourself off to bed and have a rest” Maura told her. “Thanks Maura” Victoria replied. “It’s okay Tits. You are not to wash your hair until I tell you to. Plus put those clothes back on tomorrow and Thursday. Get your husband to take the children out for a couple of hours on Thursday and we’ll give you both a joint surprise for your birthday. Plus look out for a parcel from me sometime tomorrow. Now push them up one more time for me Tits” Maura instructed her. “So I’ve got to smell like this when my husband gets back?” Victoria asked. “Yes if you want to make it work best” Maura insisted. “Okay, I don’t know why but I somehow think you’ll make this fun” Victoria admitted. “Boobs Tits” Maura instructed her and Victoria pushed her boobs up and both expressed milk into her face again as both ladies laughed and signed off for the night.

I will get the Tiswas/OTT story finished and all are mapped out and partly written but I’m not quite happy with them and want to get them the best I can. Once I do I’ll put them up on here and look to move onto the Totty series. The second episode will feature Maura, Holly and Sally from this story. I’ve got one more original idea to feature Maura, Holly and Sally which I have started writing and was going to bring at least one of Holly’s colleagues into the fold. It was going to be included in this story but the set up would have been too long so I’m going to do it as a separate shorter story. Also the Storm Huntley series will begin in due course. Thanks for the replies to that.