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“Welcome to another edition of CSWL. I am your host Sophie Rose from Chelsea Fan TV, and I am really excited to be making my debut as host today. We will be concentrating on the hotly contested Second City Derby which takes place on Sunday lunchtime, where Aston Villa host Birmingham City.”
Sophie is wearing a very tight green top which leaves very little to the imagination, a short black skirt and black high heel shoes.
“Without further ado, lets welcome Aston Villa’s representative – it’s model Abbey Clancy.”
Abbey walks on wearing a very short black dress. Her legs are black stockinged and completes the ensemble with black high heel shoes.
“Hi Abbey. That’s an interesting outfit you have on. It looks like you have your nightwear on!”
“On the contrary, this is the latest fashion design! Do you not know about fashion!” said Abbey in her scouse accent.
“Oh I see, I am sorry I asked you! Can you explain your link to Aston Villa?”
“It’s not a team I actually support, but my husband Peter Crouch used to play for them. I don’t mind representing them as I fancy their chances against a weaker Birmingham side!”
“Ok, thank you Abbey. Now, our celebrity representing Birmingham City is former Emmerde star Sammy Winward.”
Sammy walks on wearing a dark blue dress and black high heel shoes.
Sophie welcomes her “Hi Sammy, and I see you are wearing a very nice dress. Can you explain why you are representing Birmingham City.”
“Not too a dissimilar reason as Abbey, as I used to be the girlfriend of David Dunn who played over 50 games for Birmingham City. And I’ve got to say that it should be Abbey that should be worried as Birmingham are definitely going to win!”
“That’s confident talk from both ladies. Now, let me explain the rules. If your team concedes 1 goal then it is a good old fashioned custard pieing.
For the second goal conceded, then it will also be a trip to the gunge tank.
If your team has a bad night and concedes 3 goals, then you’ll also get to go in our dunk-tank, plus you will have to do all forfeits in your underwear.
If there’s 4 goals or more conceded, then you’ll also endure an extra special messing, plus you will have to do all forfeits naked.”
Abbey and Sammy looked competitively at each other as they heard the rules.
“You’re going to get naked and messy Sammy!”
“Nope, I think it will be you showing your tits and bum with most probably gunge dripping from them!”
Sophie continued with the rules “There will also be spins of the Forfeit Wheel for bookings, red cards and any penalties missed.”
Abbey interrupted “Have you forgotten anything Sophie?”
A bewildered Sophie looked at her notes, and replied “I don’t think so, I’m sure I have covered everything.”
Abbey smiled “Not quite! The producer has asked me to announce that there will be a bonus vote for the viewers.”
As the vote appeared on screen, Sophie looked a little shocked and put her hand to her face in disbelief
“Don’t worry Sophie, many a CSWL presenter has been on the wrong side of a messing, and I think this may very well be the case with you as well!”
Sophie gulps, as she concludes the preview show. “That’s it for today, so tune in after Sunday’s game to see what happens to Abbey, Sammy and (ahem) me!”
Voting closes Sunday lunchtime, just before the match starts.