So what I did was to take the automatic bids that I mentioned earlier. I then added the nominations made in the comments and then I added a bunch of other ones that stood out to me.
In total, I had 50 gungings. Rather than try to do this all at once, I figured we’d break it down like March Madness (that we didnt have this year), so I separated it into 5 groups of 10. I’ll take the top 3 from each group, and we’ll then vote on on the final 15. For that, Ill break it up into 3 groups of 5, we’ll get one winner from each group, and then vote on the final 3 to get a final winner. If this sounds confusing, don’t worry, Ive mapped it out.
Ya know, I think Im gonna tweak it just a little. Ill still take the top 3 from each group. But Ill add in a wild card, which is whichever 4th place finish has the most votes out of all the 4th place finishes. That makes it 16 moments, Ill then have the 2nd round be 4 groups of 4. Ill take the top 2 from each group, bringing it down to 8. We’ll then just do 1 v 1 until we have a winner. Itll look like this:
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Voting for this first round ends Wednesday at 11 PM EST. (Edited after mistake).
Also, I had to leave out the BTS shots of Victoria Justice’s sliming, as she wasnt 18 yet.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story will contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature.
Chris Tarrant began Part 8 of the Tiswas/OTT Charity Revival stood on an outside balcony and pressing the controls to bring the naked and gunged covered Thandie Newton, Rosamund Pike, Katie Thisleton, Rachel Burden and Ruxandra Porojnicu back to earth from the Window Cleaner’s Cradle. Thandie, Rosamund and Katie were laughing whilst Rachel and Ruxandra were embarrassed and annoyed. “You ladies all need to put your differences aside and stop causing problems” Chris said. “We are just having fun” said Thandie. “They are disgusting and obscene” said Rachel. “I don’t care what has been going on just settle it sportingly” said Chris. “We are not doing any dares against them” said Ruxandra.
“Well how about a challenge” said Chris. “I reckon that Rachel should skate across the studio floor” joked Katie. “I’m a good skater so I’ll do that” said Rachel. “I want Ruxandra to kiss me on my lips” said Rosamund. “I want them to stay on the Torture Wheel for the duration of the break between them” said Rachel. “We’ll do that if you pair stay on the wheel for a minute each” countered Rosamund. “We’ll be doing 4 challenges amongst 2 people and you’ll be doing one each amongst 3 which isn’t fair” said Rachel. “Okay give us all another challenge” said Katie. “You have all got to have me give you a waxing. I was trained for my role on Coronation Street to do them” said Ruxandra. Rosamund and Katie looked at their matted muffs and said “Okay as long as we can give Rachel one too”. “You are on” said Ruxandra as Rachel looked shocked Thandie who was clean shaven said “I’ll have a crack wax”. “I’m not touching you but I’ve got a challenge you’ll never be able to pull off” said Ruxandra who whispered it to Rachel and then told Thandie who smiled and replied “You are on”.
“We have got a show to do you know” said Chris and he added “Just to let you know Health and Safety have confirmed no Elephants in the studios or strapping a portaloo to the Torture Wheel as you suggested Rosamund Pike”. “Oh bugger that was the big finale after the balloon dance” said Rosamund. “I mean it, there has to be a line drawn somewhere” replied Chris as he linked to Den Heggarty back in the studio.
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“Ironically this is the first time that Chris and myself have worked on an episode of Tiswas. Although we have met at Tiswas Fan Club Days once or twice” said Den with a typically crazed look on his face. (Den worked on last series of Tiswas and beforehand was in a band called Darts and then became a psychology lecturer in case anyone isn’t sure who he is). “On Tiswas I had a segment called News at Den whereby I lay on a table and said bong whilst a couple of kids read out news headlines. Then I read the weather and got gunged with baked beans and mushy peas. But tonight I’ll be doing the gunging” he said with an evil laugh. “Plus we have proper newsreaders please welcome Emily “Praying” Maitlis and “Fiona “Robert The” Bruce”. He added.
Emily emerged dressed as if for a photo shoot but Fiona was in workout gear.
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“Please don’t make fun of my name” Emily said to Den. “Got a live one here” he replied. Fiona hugged Den and then knocked his hand away joking “Don’t touch what you cannot afford”. We need to find the right person to read the weather with you so please welcome the first person to audition Hollyoaks star Jennifer Metcalfe.
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Jennifer walked on to a lot of wolf whistles wearing a cropped top and bikini bottoms. She hugged Fiona and Den and went to hug Emily who said “Why are you dressed like that?”. “Because I’m going to get messy and as it’s a fun show for the guys” Jennifer replied. “I seem a bit overdressed” said Emily quite seriously. Suddenly a nude Martell Maxwell and a topless Jo Swinson walk on. “What’s going on here?” demanded Emily. “Is that BBC issue clothes?” Martell asked. “Some are said” Emily. “This t-shirt is BBC issue” said Fiona laughing. “Well you know what to do” said Jo. Fiona took her t-shirt off to reveal a black bra and a very toned body for a 55 year old. “I’ve been dared by my children to have a bucket of custard poured down my leggings” she said to cheers.
A nude and gunged covered Maisie Smith tottered on in her heels with a bucket of custard and started to pour it over Fiona’s head before realising her mistake and pouring the rest of it down the front of her leggings. Emily looked in amazement at the state of Maisie as the rest laughed as she tottered off again. “I will not be having a bucket of custard down my trousers” said Emily as Maisie returned with another bucket. “Okay” said Maisie and emptied it over Emily’s head. Emily screamed “What did you do that for?” at Maisie. “Well you said you didn’t want it over your head” replied Maisie. “What about me?” as Jennifer so Den ran off and got a bucket of water and tipped it over her head. Jennifer wasn’t wearing a bra and her nipples became visible through her wet top stuck to her lithe body.
Jo and Martell looked at Emily who was still fuming as the custard clung to her blonde hair and she tried to wipe her face clear. Fiona and Jennifer were laughing and comparing abs. “Is that tie and waistcoat BBC issue?” Jo asked Emily. “Yes why” replied Emily. Martell took off Emily’s tie and waistcoat. “Are those trousers BBC issue?” Jo asked. “I’m not taking them off. You can take yours off if you want you failed MP” Emily snapped back. Jo looked at the audience and said “Shall I?” The audience cheered and shouted back “Yes”. Jo slipped her gunge covered trousers off to huge cheers and revealed a pair of sodden gunge covered knickers which were falling down and showed her ample bum cleavage. Jo hoisted her sodden knickers up and stuck out her bum at the shocked Emily to huge cheers. “These will come off for the finale” she shouted to more cheers.
Fiona looked at Jo, Martell and Emily and with a smile said “I can see two Scottish girls naked and nearly naked and I’m half Scottish”. She dropped her custard filled leggings to reveal a sexy pair of matching black briefs to her bra. “Put your eyes back in you naughty man” she said teasing Den and running her hand through his hair. Everyone turned to Emily and began to chant “Off, Off, Off”. Emily reluctantly removed her trousers and stood there in just her blouse. “That blouse is BBC issue too” said Martell and before Emily could do anything the other girls had removed it and Emily took there in a white bra and pants trying to cover her modesty.
If things couldn’t get worse for Emily then Kate Duchess of Cambridge still knicker-less and bra-less but in a tied up top and skinny jeans and a nude Trinny Woodall walked on both covered in gunge. “My god look at the state of you” said Emily when she saw both of them. “Andy says hello” said Kate. “We’ve decided to see if you want to join our flat chested society” said Trinny as they ran off laughing. “I’m not flat chested” shrieked Emily as the other girls pushed their larger busts up and mocked her.
“Now for News at Den or News at Jen” said Den and lead Fiona and Emily to two chairs behind a table and Jennifer lay on her back on the table. Cue cards were held up as the News at Ten music started and when it came time for the first bong Jennifer did a jazz splits and yelled out “Bong”. “There has been torrential flooding all over the country” said a laughing Fiona. Den, Martell and Jo threw a couple of buckets of water each over Fiona and Jennifer who was now crawling sexily on the table and said “Bong”. “There has been a pile up involving a lorry carrying tomato soup” Emily read out and then realised what was about to happen. She tried to duck under the table but Jennifer jumped off it and with Fiona held her down as 3 buckets of tomato soup engulfed them. Emily coughed and spluttered as Fiona and Jennifer rubbed the soup into their sodden bra and top respectively.
Jennifer then climbed back onto the table and said “Here is the weather outlook tonight it will be dry but will then be raining baked beans”. Den emptied a bucket of baked beans over her head it completely covered her long luscious locks and ran slowly down her face. Hardly able to stop laughing Jennifer added “And tomorrow will be really warm but will have frequent showers of mushy peas” and removed her top to reveal a pair of pert bean stained breasts as Den emptied a couple of buckets of mushy peas over Jennifer’s head and boobs. She lay on the table sexily rubbing them in before swinging round to sit with her legs crossed on the table.
Jennifer hopped off the table and ran over to Den. “Have I got the job Den?” she said in a little baby voice. “I’ve got one more person to audition but wait around and well let you know” he said. “We’ve got to do this again? shouted Emily. “Yes, but it will be a new script” said Den. Emily sat there with her head in her hands. “Be positive about being flat chested” shouted Martell. “I’m not flat chested” screamed Emily. “One way to prove it. That bra must be BBC issue” said Jo as her and Martell approached Emily and grabbed her bra off to reveal a small but pert pair of breasts. She quickly put her hands over them and shrunk into her seat. “If the total is over £3,250,000 by the end of this bulletin my magnificent crown jewels will be on public display” said Fiona looking at Den and adding “You’d like to see them wouldn’t you?”. Den nodded vigorously and ran over to Fiona sitting next to her seat pretending to be a panting dog. Fiona was in hysterics and patted him on the head going “Good Boy”. Den then rolled over onto his back with his legs in the air as the audience roared with laughter.
Jumping back up Den said “Please welcome our second and final auditionee Gwen Stefani”. Gwen walked on waving and smiling to gasps from the audience wearing a very sexy red bikini.
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Gwen went to say something but Den said “Don’t Speak”. “You may have wondered how she agreed to turn up but I was in no doubt” said Den. “No I was in No Doubt” said a laughing Gwen. “No doubt you wanted to star in the News at Gwen or that you’ll get messy” said Den. “No doubt to either” said Gwen as she climbed onto the table to cheers.
“Now for the News at Gwen” said Den. Cue cards were held up as the News at Ten music started and when it came time for the first bong Gwen sang a loud “Bong” when it came time for the first bong Jennifer did a jazz splits and yelled out “Bong”. “There has been a riots in France and several dozen people have been taken into custody” said Fiona sexily and got hit with 3 buckets of custard from Den, Martell and Jo. Gwen looked at the camera and did a Marilyn Monroe type voice to say “Bong” “Clint Eastwood says his final film will be a spaghetti Western” Emily read out and then realised what was about to happen. Again she tried to duck under the table but Gwen grabbed hold of her as 3 buckets of spaghetti enveloped them. Emily sat there sodden and fuming especially when Gwen rubbed the spaghetti into Emily’s bare breasts and said “It may help them grow” she joked.
Gwen then lay flat back down on the table and said “Here is the weather outlook tonight. Tonight there will be a heavy baked beans rain” Den emptied three buckets of baked beans over her head and body as she lay there laughing. The beans went in her mouth and she spluttered having to sit up to receive the last bucket. She let them slowly run down her amazing body before very slowly rubbing them into her body and sexily throwing her head back. “And tomorrow there will be heavy showers of mushy peas” Gwen added hardly able to contain her composure as she was giggling so much. Den emptied three of buckets of mushy peas over Gwen’s body. Again she lay back and took them slowly and pretending they were sun cream rubbed them all over her body.
Gwen jumped off the table and went to join Den and the returning Jennifer. “I’ll hire you both” said. They ran back to the table and dragged Emily around to the front with them as Fiona walked around to join them. “It’ll be raining baked beans and mushy peas” they all shouted bar Emily as a couple of overhead tubs rained a mixed of the two substances all over them.
Chris returned to the stage to thank them all. “The total is now an incredible £3,287,946” he said. “You know what that means” said Fiona. “I expect half the male population are going to freeze frame this” she added as she removed her bra top to reveal a pair of impressive boobs, Jennifer cupped them up and pushed her bare breasts into Fiona’s. “Disgusting” said Emily still trying to cover her own bare boobs. “Those knickers are BBC issue” said Martell and ripped Emily’s knickers right off to reveal a thin dark line on an otherwise clean waxed muff. Emily screamed even louder and tried to cover herself. “Not a natural blonde” said Jo as they dragged Emily off to the Cage. “Are you all going to join them?” Chris asked Jennifer, Fiona and Gwen. “Definitely” they all screamed. “I’ve got a surprise musical number planned for later with another guest and you never know what else may come off” teased Gwen as Chris again thanked Den and the girls.
“Join us in the next part when another brave female celebrity will attempt to cook with Amber Gill and Maisie Smith God help them. We delve into the Phantom’s private life. The challenge set earlier this episode gets under way and a Tiswas guest from the original run wants a rematch with the Phantom” said Chris as he signed off to a break.
Sorry about the delay in this story as I’ve been doing the Slime Splosh Road Show and Cleo ones over the last week. I’ve decided to do a shorter part 8 and likely extend the story to about 12 parts so each one won’t be so long. I hope you enjoy it.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
Bianca Belair of NXT,
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and Penelop Ford of AEW
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both took off and began the 2nd challenge.
The PA announcer spoke again. “For this challenge, you will need to enter the tunnel of mess.” The girls ran to two separate tunnels, layed on their stomachs, and began to crawl. These tunnels were filled with copious amounts of thick purple, green, and brown goo. The ladies struggled to make their way through the filth, both seemingly throughly disgusted at the situation. The feel of the slime seemed to repulse them, as did the feeling of it covering their entire bodies and seeping into every aspect of their clothes. It stuck to their faces and stuck in their hair. It was particularly unpleasant for Bianca, whose famously long ponytail dragged through the sludge.
The two girls eventually made their way out of the tunnel, covered in multi-colored slime. “Well done ladies”, began the PA Announcer “Now you must make your way to the balloons. Grab a pin and pop the balloons to find the key. Use the key to unlock the door and and tag in your teammate. But you’ll encounter a little surprise…”
Bianca and Penelope made their way over to the balloons and each grabbed a pin. They each grabbed a pin and popped a balloon. What they found wasnt a key, but instead multi-colored gunge that hit both girl square in the face, much to the girls chagrin. After a brief pause, they kept going, and got hit with more goo. Bianca stopped on a few occasions to ring the slime out of her ponytail, to little success, while Penelope occasionally stopped to clean slime off of her cleavage. Balloon after balloon was popped, and no keys were found.
Finally, Penelope hit a balloon that, in addition to covering her further in slime, sent a key spilling to the floor. The problem was that Penelope didn’t notice it at first, as she was trying in vain to clean the gunge off herself. Finally, she did notice it, but only as Biance finally found the other key. The two grabbed their keys and raced to the door, which they unlocked and then tagged in their teammates, Noelle Foley of WWE,
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature.
“Welcome to Episode 6 of the Slime Splosh Roadshow from sunny Bracknell. We are coming from where the iconic Superstars TV series was originally filmed and joining me, Michelle Ackerley is our Overseer Eddie Hall” said a smiling Michelle.
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“It’s great to be back with you Michelle and in two episodes time we have our series climax vote off. Me in my Speedos against you in your bikini to see who goes into or in your case goes back into the Slime Splosh Roadshow Foot Stocks” said Eddie. “I sincerely hope it’s you, I’ve had one trip to the footstocks already, been gunged by Neneh Cherry, Lucy Fallon, Tina O’Brien and especially you Jessica Plummer!” said Michelle. “To up the ante further we have both chosen a celebrity as our running mate who will face the stocks with either Michelle or myself” said Eddie. “I thought long and hard about this and I’m choosing Neneh Cherry” said Michelle. “She gunged me in Episode 4 and is one of my musical heroines so I was delighted when she said yes” added Michelle. “I was tempted to get Sophia Peschisolido back but I’m going to link up with your nemesis Jessica Plummer” said Eddie.
“Last time you were asked to vote on our NHS Celebrity Special Double Header so please welcome back our first 3 game ladies from Call The Midwife Helen George, Laura Main and Jennifer Kirby” said Michelle.
The 3 actresses ran on all holding their busts and greeted Michelle and Eddie to a warm applause. Helen was in the gear she ran the London Marathon in a few years ago to visibly support her charity. Laura was in a vest top and had clearly gone braless along with jeans. Whilst Jennifer was in a vest top again braless and checked trousers.
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“You are clearly not lacking support from the audience” said Michelle. “We are lacking support elsewhere as our cast and crew have sponsored us 1k to go braless” said a giggling Helen. “Good job I chose this very tight top” teased Laura turning sideways on to show her pokies as she smiled at the camera. “I jump for joy when they swing free” said Jennifer jumping up and down to make her boobs bounce as the audience laughed.
“I’m sure you would love to know who the will be facing the Slime Splosh Roadshow Foot Stocks” said Michelle as Eddie carried on two sets of foot stocks,
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“The two ladies with the most votes will face 3 buckets each with the potential to receive a wildcard bin jointly as well as a winner’s choice bucket each” said Michelle as Eddie wheeled on the grocer’s barrow stocked with bucket, bin and two giant churns. “So we’ll get at least 4 buckets each ?” said Jennifer say both Laura and Helen shook their boobs. “The winners by an overwhelming margin are Helen and Laura” said Michelle. Helen and Laura jumped onto Eddie’s shoulders as he carried them over to the foot stocks and secured them in. Jennifer cheered them on and fist bumped Michelle.
“Helen you are up first. Call The Midwife is set in the 1960’s and this was popular then” said Michelle selecting a bucket of Swiss cheese fondue and throwing it over Helen’s head. Helen screamed and wiggled in her seat as the thick yellow liquid hit her plastering her gorgeous blonde hair to her head and slowly running down her face. Wiping it away to reveal her gorgeous eyes she yelled “It’s running down my boobs you sods” but was laughing as she said it. “I told you she’d react like that” said a smiling Jennifer.
“You’re Scottish aren’t you?” Eddie asked Laura. “Aye Laddie” replied Laura in a broad Scottish accent. “I expect I’ll got something like porridge” she added. “Not far off but less healthy” said Eddie and threw a bucket of chip shop batter full force at Laura. “You can fry your Mars Bars in that he joked” Laura gasped as the batter hit her and ran down her hair and face. “I’ve got battered tits” she joked back as the batter ran down her top.
Eddie then selected another bucket “We are doing a 1-2-2-1 system so that both Michelle and myself gunge both of you” said Eddie. “I’m blonde, so that means nothing to me” joked Helen. “It seems a shame to waste this other Scottish bucket of goodies” said Eddie and hurled a bucket of lumpy porridge over Helen’s petite head. Again she gasped with the force of the porridge hitting her but started to throw some playfully back at Eddie.
“No more Scottish food I hope” joked Laura. “Well funny you should say that” said Michelle selecting a bucket and hurling a thick black substance at Laura. It completely covered her and she was a black mess sat there with it dripping from her head and body. “Haggis” she exclaimed as some went into her mouth. “Pureed Haggis actually” Michelle corrected her as Laura stuck her tongue out at them.
“You both play midwives so see plenty of this” said Michelle and threw a bucket of baby food over Helen. It made Helen cough and wretch but she looked up and smiled in the end. “You also see plenty of this” said Eddie and threw a bucket of cold milk over Laura.
“Do you think they are messy enough?” Michelle asked Jennifer as Eddie lifted the large bin off the cart. “Definitely not” shouted Jennifer. Eddie took the lid off the bin and emptied a load of tapioca pudding over the two girls who held hands and screamed.
“Now for your choice Jennifer” Michelle said. “For Laura I wanted something to remind me of 1960’s coffee bars and to go with her milk from earlier. Thick cold chocolate milkshake” said Jennifer. Eddie lifted the churn down and slowly emptied the chocolate milkshake over Laura’s head as she waved goodbye to the camera. She sat there a sodden mess, her vest top clinging to her wet body and her nipples erect with the coldness of the milkshake. “Good hardy Scot I never shuddered” she shouted as the audience cheered her.
“For Helen I wanted something sweet but very cold. So slightly melted ice cream” said Jennifer. Helen screamed as the cold ice cream hit her head and ran down her top. “***** my ******* tits are freezing” she shouted. “Two swear words that’s a punishment bucket” said Michelle selecting a bucket of semolina and emptying it over Helen’s head. Helen continued to scream and slap her arms against her sides as the mixture engulfed her before wiping her eyes and smiling sweetly.
Eddie released both girls from the stocks and they sloshed over to Michelle and Jennifer. “That was cold but good fun” said Helen gasping to get her breath whilst Laura picked up a bucket of gravy meatballs and emptied it over an unsuspecting Jennifer’s head. Jennifer screamed as the thick lumpy gravy plastered her hair down and ran down her top. “My tits are coated to” she joked. Suddenly Laura and Helen grabbed hold of Michelle’s arms and Jennifer ran to the barrow and grabbed a bucket of pulped tomatoes and emptied it over a screaming Michelle’s head. Jennifer then tipped the last bit down Michelle’s blouse saying “Everyone deserves a boob covering”. Helen took a handful of gunge from her body and stuffed it down Michelle’s trousers into her knickers. “Not again” screamed Michelle.
“I was going to thank Helen, Laura and Jennifer for being such great sports but they can get lost” shouted a laughing Michelle as Eddie handed them each a towel and gave Michelle one to wipe her eyes.
Regaining her composure Michelle said “Please welcome our second set of ladies this time from Holby City – Jaye Jacobs, Amy Lennox and Belinda Owusu”. The ladies walked on hand in hand to loud cheers. Jaye was wearing an old Holby City nurse’s outfit. Amy a tartan shirt tied up to reveal her slim white stomach and jeans and Belinda a tight white t-shirt to show off her large bust along with grey trousers.
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“Welcome ladies you all look up for a fun time” said Michelle. “Yes we are but each of us is still wearing a bra” joked Jaye. “I’d knock myself out if I didn’t” said a smiling Belinda and pushed her bust playfully in Amy’s face. “Whichever two of us get chosen we don’t mind” said Amy. “Great to see you are all so game” said Michelle. “The two girls facing the Slime Splosh Roadshow Foot Stocks are Amy and Jaye” she continued. Belinda looked disappointed as Amy and Jaye hugged each other and giggled.
Eddie picked up Amy and Jaye under each arm as they playfully hit at him and carried them to the stocks. “His chest is bigger than mine” joked Belinda. “You are certainly proud of your knockers and if I had a pair like them I’d be too” said a laughing Michelle. “I promised that if I didn’t win the vote that I’d do something fun so I’m going to do some star jumps” said Belinda. She bent down and leapt up into a star several times with her bust bouncing around as the crowd cheered.
Eddie had by now secured Jaye and Amy into the foot stocks and wheeled on a replenished grocers barrow. Michelle looked at the buckets and selected one. “Often you have scrambled eggs for breakfast in hospital” she said and threw a bucket of raw eggs at Jaye, The eggs glistened off Jaye’s dark skin and ran down her head and face. Eddie selected a bucket and said “You may get this for breakfast in hospital too” and threw a bucket of baked beans over Amy’s head with considerable force. She took it square on in the face and laughed as the beans ran down her face and long blonde hair before proceeding down her body. “One is in my belly button” she shouted and showed a bean nestling inside it. “Dare you to eat it out Belinda” she dared. “Okay” said Belinda running over and sucking the bean out and giving Amy’s belly button a big sloppy kiss. Amy had pressed her bean covered hands and Belinda’s boobs leaving two bean handprints on display.
“Clearly a bit of planning there” said Eddie. “For hospital lunches you may be unlucky enough to be served this” he added and threw a bucket of pea soup over Jaye’s head. The thick green liquid totally matted into her hair and covered her face as she removed the mush from her eyes. “It’s gone into my bra” she yelled. Michelle looked at the buckets and selected one. “You may have this for lunch too” she said and threw a bucket of cauliflower cheese sauce surprisingly hard at Amy. She yelped as the sticky yellow sauce engulfed her head and face. “It’s in my bra too you buggers” she playfully shouted. “No cursing” said Michelle, “Bugger off porridge knickers” Amy retorted playfully. “Right punishment bucket for you Miss Lennox” said a laughing Michelle and picked up a bucket and stood behind her. “The beautiful irony of it” she said as she emptied a bucket of very thick porridge slowly over Amy’s head. Amy laughing looked up and let it slop onto her already messy hair and slide down her face. She gamely held her top open to ensure it ran down there and massaged her boobs through her shirt. Michelle took a big handful and stuffed it down the back of Amy’s jeans into her knickers. “That’s up my ****** butt crack”” she yelled. “Sorry that is another punishment bucket” said Michelle realising that Amy had sworn by accident. She looked at the cart for something not too bad. “You might get this for a hospital pudding” she said. Amy lay back on her chair and Michelle emptied a bucket of pink blancmange down Amy’s body from her head down to her waist. She playfully stirred a bit into Amy’s belly button which made her giggle. “I’m not licking that out but Michelle will” shouted Belinda. Reluctantly Michelle bent down to Amy’s stomach but Amy pushed Michelle’s head right into her belly covering Michelle’s face with all the gunge off her.
Michelle stood up spluttering and laughing. “What about the wildcard bin” Eddie asked Belinda. “Well I’d like to take it if that is alright as I think the girls are messy enough already” Belinda replied. “That’s okay” said Eddie and lifted the bin down and took the lid off. He showed the contents to Belinda who chuckled and said “That looks great”. He lifted the bin up and cascaded a load of iced water over Belinda’s head. The water flattened her Afro but made her t-shirt cling to her busty physique. Belinda laughing did another couple of star jumps and said “The twins needed watering”.
“Now for the winner’s choice” Michelle said to Belinda. “Well for my Holby sister Jaye. I had to choose something nice but then I remembered she said I played a geeky and flat chested Libby Fox in Eastenders. The cheek of it me flat chested” joked Belinda “So I chose her favorite food as it will cover her a treat” she added. “No” screamed Jaye holding her head in her hands as Eddie picked up the first giant churn and stood behind her. “What do you think it is Jaye?” asked Michelle. “Goat curry” said Jaye and she was right as the thick lumpy curry sauce and bits of meat hit her head and slowly ran down her body. She sat there and bravely took it without flinching as it totally covered her. She wiped her eyes to reveal two dark eyes through the lumpy mess.
“For Amy I’ve chosen clinical waste” joked Belinda. Amy looked horrified as Eddie picked up the second giant churn and stood behind Amy. He emptied a churn of multicoloured gunge over Amy’s head which further plastered her hair down and gave her a colourful top coat.
As Eddie released Jaye and Amy from the stocks. Michelle looked at the cart and said “There is only one bucket left and it is tapioca” as she lifted it down. Suddenly Amy and Jaye ran at Michelle and Belinda respectively and took them to the floor and sat on top of them. “Shame to waste the tapioca Amy” said Jaye. “I agree lets give them a bed bath with it” suggested Amy. They both took handfuls of the tapioca and began to give Belinda and Michelle a tapioca shampoo then stuffed a load into the screaming girl’s mouths. Jaye untucked Belinda’s t-shirt and stuffed a load into her bra ensuring her huge tits were freed and then massaged more into Belinda’s boobs under her t-shirt. “Was this what made them grow” Jaye said as Belinda cried with laughter as Jaye stuck another big handful onto Belinda’s belly. Amy had stuck some inside Michelle’s bra and whispered “Don’t worry I won’t pull your boobs out”. Michelle who was fairly helpless game a thumbs up. “She clearly wants some further down” said Amy and un-tucked Michelle’s blouse and stuck a load on her belly button and stomach. “Little outie you’ve got there” said Amy looking at Michelle’s belly button and then furiously tickling her. Michelle was crying with laughter. “Stop it or I’ll pee my knickers” she said. “Oh you want a load in your knickers?” said Amy and stuck a load inside Michelle’s elasticated trousers. The other girls then turned her over and each stuck a hand down the back of her knickers and Michelle screamed louder than ever when Amy gave her a tapioca wedgie to finish off with
The girls all got up laughing as Michelle struggled to her feet very humiliated but unable to stop laughing “You do not want to know where that tapioca has gone” she said to loud applause. Helen, Laura and Jennifer joined the rest of the girls as Eddie walked on with a blackboard which had four lines on it. “What is that?” asked Michelle. “Your ruined knicker count for the series” he replied. “Get him” she shouted as all the girls jumped on Eddie and started rubbing gunge onto him. “I’m enjoying this” he shouted as he playfully pretended to push the girls away or carefully picked them up. “Until next time” said Michelle signing off as she picked up the final handful of tapioca from the bucket throwing it at Eddie and the girls before diving into the fun.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature.
“Welcome to the preview of Episode 7 of the Slime Splosh Roadshow” said a happy Michelle Ackerley.
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“I’ve arranged to wear a jumpsuit so no further pairs of my knickers can be violated” said a laughing Michelle. She picked up a pen and notepad and said “Helen George, Laura Main and Amy Lennox, your names are going on my list”. “Don’t tell her Pike” a crew member shouted in to some laughter.
“Our celebrity duo for next time will be two Loose Women who are up for another of our swimwear challenges. Please meet Jane Moore and Saira Khan on this video” said Michelle.
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Saira and Jane were sat on the Loose Women set. “They approached our show to see if two of the ladies were up for some fun on the Slime Splosh Roadshow and somehow we got nominated said Saira. “I was surprised when I was chosen as I would have thought the likes of Stacey Solomon would have been more entertaining than me” said Jane. “Christine Lampard who apparently has featured on that very rude Tiswas/OTT Charity revival in a bikini dared us to do it in our swimwear as I post so many bikini selfies. So I thought why not” said Saira. “When I was selected I was shocked and then when we were dared to do it in our swimwear I was even more shocked as I’m nearer 60 than 50” said Jane. “I don’t believe an Asian woman has yet been gunged on the Slime Splosh Roadshow. So I’d be up for being a trailblazer there and it would be fun” said Saira. “I believe I’d be the oldest ever woman gunged on the show if the public voted for me and I’m a game old bird who is up for a laugh. I may even get my bikini out as Saira is bound to wear one” said Jane.
“I’d be up for the gunging and my children would find it very funny to see mum getting annihilated. But I think you should vote for Jane. She is a beautiful elegant older woman with amazing legs and still has a great figure for someone who is 57. She has even said she may wear her bikini and I think she will be brave enough to do so as I’ll be in mine. She’ll take it in a very dignified manner even if that perfect blonde bob hopefully gets destroyed but I’ve got a really funny winner’s choice in mind which I think will make her fume and lose her cool. So please vote for Jane” said Saira.
“Saira is a human dynamo, whizzing around all over the place so locking her in the Slime Splosh Roadshow Foot Stocks would make her remain in one place for once. She always has a lot to say and frankly has a bit of a gob on her. So getting a bucket of say baked beans in her face might give us a bit of peace even if it is for only a couple of minutes. If she starts mouthing off it will be hilarious to watch and I can see her getting a punishment bucket or two. Also Saira turns 50 in a few weeks time and has been working out so to see all that gunge running off her toned body will be great to watch. An Asian woman has never been gunged on this show and her children will love seeing her get destroyed. So please vote for Saira” said Jane.
“Two interesting and more mature ladies who we may well see in bikinis next time. So here are the numbers to phone or text” said Michelle.
“Our second pair of contestants are another first for this show two sisters Jemima-Verity and Saffron-Blue Jones who were arrested for fighting over their hair straighteners outside their mother’s house and took 6 policemen to separate them” said Michelle.
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“In another first at special request from their stressed out mother you can vote for Jemima-Verity or Saffron-Blue or both of them. Here are the numbers to phone or text” said Michelle.
Michelle was handed a packet and she opened it. “Very funny” she said as she held up a pair of very frilly knickers. “They are daring me to wear them on Episode 7. You are on” she said as she signed off.
Who wins out of Saira and Jane and is it Jemima-Verity or Saffron-Blue or both of them who faces the Slime Splosh Roadshow Foot Stocks. I’ll leave this open for a few days as I want to get the Tiswas/OTT story finished finally.
And so our first round has ended, and the results are:
In Group A: Katy Perry came in 1st, followed by Halle Berry and Robyn Richford
From Group B: Demi Lovato takes the 1st spot, followed by Lindsey Russell’s 2018 sliming and Kate Garraway
From Group C, the “Group of Death:” Kimberly Wyatt ran away with 1st place, followed by Naomi Wilkinson and Vick Hope coming in 2nd and 3rd. SMU sweeps the Top 3.
From Group D: Arielle Free dominated, followed by Talisa Tossell and, in an upset, Gabi Melim who narrowly edged out Cheryl Cole.
From Group E: Natalie Pinkham and Rachel Brookes were 1st, followed by Rachel Bonnetta and Emma Shaw.
And our wildcard, aka the 4th Place finish with the most votes, its…
Candace Parker!
So now we’re in our Sweet Sixteen. Remember, it will be the Top 2 from each group that advance.
Becky waited excitedly for the cue to make her entrance on the series finale and what was to be her final show. She knew that a pie in the face, or possibly something even worse, awaited her. But she didn’t care as from next month she’d be hosting her own magazine programme.
“And for the final time, please welcome my assistant Rebecca” Gina announced.
So, dressed in her usual showgirl costume of white leotard, headdress, gloves, heels and black fishnets, Becky strode out into the studio. The audience cheered and applauded her appearance, with a few wolf whistling at her. She grinned and gave them a friendly wave.
Gina waited impatiently for Becky to reach her and gave her a false smile as she did so. Meanwhile the plasma screens at the rear and to the sides of the studio were showing various scenes of Becky getting messy or otherwise being humiliated, usually at Gina’s hand.
“Do you remember your first appearance and the gift I gave you?” Gina asked.
Becky nodded as a stagehand came out bearing a custard and cream pie upon a silver tray. The audience laughed knowingly as Gina took the pie from the departing stagehand. She waved it in front of Becky, teasing both her assistant and the audience.
It didn’t come as a surprise to anyone when moments later Gina thrust the pie into Becky’s face. She accepted the pie without resistance and just stood there with cream dripping off her face as Gina waved over another stagehand.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, let me clean that up for you” Gina said.
Gina took a soda syphon from the second stagehand and directed a stream of water at Becky face. After washing most of the cream from her face, she redirected the stream at her assistant’s chest, turning her leotard transparent in the process.
* * *
Becky was a little upset. She’d expected the pie, in fact her job almost demanded it, but she wasn’t so keen to have been exposed on national telly. If she’d wanted that she would have entered a wet t-shirt competition. Still, it wasn’t the first time it had happened, and it was her last show.
Ideally, she’d love to retaliate against Gina and get her messy for a change. She suspected many of the show’s audience would also be in favour of the host getting her just desserts. But unfortunately, the producers had expressly forbidden her from doing so, in fact it was written in the small print on her contract.
So instead Becky took the opportunity to tidy herself up a little, there was no point cleaning up too much as undoubtedly, she’d soon get messy again. She then met with today’s contestants and ushered them into the studio to the welcoming applause of the live audience.
“So, who do we have with us today?” Gina asked.
“This is Ralph, and he’s an apprentice tree surgeon” Becky responded.
Ralph looked like the outdoor type dressed as he was in white t-shirt and black cargo trousers. Gina greeted him and he then went to stand behind his assigned podium.
“And this is Ashleigh, and she’s a naval cadet” Becky said, finishing the introductions.
Ashleigh was cute as a button and dressed in a dark blue minidress. As Gina welcomed her to the show, she received more than a few wolf-whistles. Then like Ralph, she took up her place behind a podium.
Before Gina started questioning the contestants, Becky walked to the wings and returned moments later wheeling on a trolley laden with a dozen cream pies. She then selected a pie from the trolley and took up a position halfway between Ralph and Ashleigh.
“Let’s get started” Gina announced.
Ralph immediately got his first question wrong resulting in Becky hitting him with a pie in the face. Ashleigh got her question right and avoided the forfeit. This was repeated for the second set of questions, as Ralph received a second pie in the face whilst Ashleigh escaped clean.
Both contestants got their third question correct meaning that Becky just stood their pie in hand waiting for the next incorrect answer. Ralph once again got his question right and for the first time Ashleigh struggled with her answer.
“That is incorrect” Gina stated.
Becky took the pie and smashed it into Ashleigh’s face. When she’d started on the show Becky had been slightly embarrassed to be messing up the contestants. But she’d quickly got used to it, after all they should know what they’d sign up to.
The fifth set of questions resulted in a return to the earlier results with Ralph getting his wrong and Ashleigh getting her’s correct. Becky slapped another pie into Ralph’s face before smearing the case up his face and leaving it resting on the top of his head.
Both contestants got their final question wrong and Becky took great delight in simultaneously delivering a pie to each of their faces.
“After round one Ralph is on two points, whilst Ashleigh is leading with four” Becky declared.
“Thank you, Rebecca,” Gina said, “but as you seemed to take such delight in pieing our contestants, I think it’s only fair they get to use the remaining pies on you!”
Ralph quickly grabbed a pie from the trolley and thrust it into Becky’s face. Ashleigh took two pies and sandwiched Becky’s head between them. Ralph then deposited a pie on top of Becky’s head. Ashleigh rubbed her final pie over Becky’s chest whilst to loud encouragement from the audience, Ralph spun Becky around and slapped his last pie against her bottom.
* * *
Becky and the two contestants had cleaned themselves up during the break. As they rendered the studio, they noticed that the podiums from round one had gone. Usually in their place would be a pair of perspex booths for the contestants to sit in, but not today for some reason.
One of the stagehands indicated for them to all stand near the centre of the studio where there were six buckets of gunge had been placed. Becky was always wary when the producers played with the show’s format as it was always a good indication that she was going to get messy.
“In round two if you get a question wrong Becky will empty one of these buckets over you” Gina explained.
Becky was relieved that for once she wouldn’t be getting messy. But that relief was short lived.
“However, get the question right and you not only get two points but also get to empty a bucket over Becky” Gina stated.
Gina asked Ashleigh the first question which she got right. She selected a bucket of pink coloured gunge and tipped the contents over Becky’s head. Ralph also got his question right and poured a bucket of green gunge all over Becky.
The second set of questions didn’t work out so well for either contestant, as Becky got to empty a bucket of blue gunge over Ashleigh and orange gunge over Ralph. All three of them looked quite a sight much to the amusement of Gina and the audience.
Ashleigh got her final question wrong and had a bucket of yellow gunge poured over her by Becky. Ralph on the other hand got his question correct and got to use the lot of gunge, this a grey colour. He took the bucket and pushed it down over Becky’s head.
“As my assistant seems to be preoccupied,” Gina announced “let me tell you that that Ralph and Ashleigh are level pegging on six points each.”
* * *
They’d never had a draw before on the show and Becky didn’t know what that meant. Did both contestants win, did they both lose. Maybe there would be a tiebreaker question to determine an actual winner.
As a relatively clean Becky escorted Ralph and Ashleigh back they could see that a pool of horrible looking brown sludge now dominated the studio. Above the pool was suspended a single seat, so it was clear that both contestants wouldn’t be getting dunked.
“As you’ve both done so well, we’ve decided to reward each of you with a holiday!” Gina informed Ralph and Ashleigh.
Both contestants celebrated their good fortunate whilst the audience cheered them. However, Becky was getting a sinking feeling as she could well guess who would soon be dropping into the pool. So, she wasn’t surprised when Gina told her to take her place above the sludge.
Accompanied by more cheering from the audience, Becky reluctantly climbed into the seat. Looking down she could see how think and revolting the sludge looked, it didn’t help that it gave off a slightly odd smell too.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this” Gina proclaimed.
Becky looked down at her domineering colleague and wished it was her suspended above the pool instead of herself. Becky would have loved to see Gina, with her quaffed hair and smart suit rolling around in the sludge but clearly that wasn’t going to happen.
Gina seemed to take great pleasure in taunting Becky as she slowly walked over to the chain beside the pool and mimed pulling it. Then after getting the audience to give her a countdown, Gina gave the chain a good pull.
Nothing seemed to happen. Then there was a loud clanking sound from the studio rigging above. Both Becky and Gina looked up. Becky couldn’t see what had caused the noise, but Gina saw a brief flash of something green before the host was drenched in green gunge.
“Nooo…” Gina screamed.
Becky had never laughed so heartedly as she saw what had happened to Gina. In fact, she was laughing so much that she almost fell into the pool. Luckily a couple of stagehands helped steady her before assisting her to get down from the seat.
Gina on the other hand wasn’t so lucky as three stagehands grabbed hold of her and lifting her up, threw her into the pool. Gina disappeared below the surface of the sludge only to emerge moments later completely coated in the filthy brown stuff.
“As Gina seems to be preoccupied,” Becky stated “let me thank today’s contestants Ralph and Ashleigh and all of you for watching. Goodbye!”
Becky, Ralph and Ashleigh waved at the audience whilst Gina floundered around in the sludge. Then just as she managed to grab hold of the edge of the pool, one of the stagehands discreetly passed Becky a cream pie. Becky thrust the pie into Gina’s surprised face before walking off.
Jesy couldn’t believe she was about to do this. She had prepared the four packs of gunge of which there were an array of colours, and the 10 foam pies.
She took a snap of the four buckets and 10 pies and posted it on the band’s WhatsApp chat. She then took a selfie showing her long dark hair flowing over her left shoulder and demonstrating the fact that she was wearing the glamorous orange gown that had been nominated by her band mate, and posted that too.
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She waited a couple of minutes to see if she got any replies but other than a bunch of smiling, laughing and other emojis there was nothing too exciting.
Reluctantly, she knew the time had come. She took the buckets out into the garden, carrying two at a time. She then repeated the process with the pies. This was it – she really couldn’t quite believe what she was about to do. Especially not in that dress, it was her absolute favourite.
She tentatively picked up the first of the pies and was about to start when the phone rang. Saved by the bell, Jesy thought.
It was none other than her band mate, Perrie Edwards, who was not only calling her, but was video calling her. Jesy answered the call and before she could even say hi, Perrie started talking.
“Ooh Jesy, looking very glamorous I see there. Right babe, I wanna make sure you do this properly, no cop outs, I wanna see you get covered just like I did”. Perrie laughed evilly.
She continued. “Now if you can pop the phone somewhere I can see you and then get your first pie ready, then I’ll tell you what’s next”.
Jesy leant the phone against a wall, moved the plastic sheeting she had set out and made sure everything was in reach. She sat down and held the pie up to the camera so Perrie could see it.
“Perfect. Now all you have to do next is plant that bad boy right in your face!”
Jesy groaned a little. She looked at Perrie on her screen, looked at the pie and then shut her eyes.
“Come on”, coaxed Perrie.
Jesy, her eyes still shut, lifted the pie up and pushed it square into her own face. She put the plate down to show Perrie the result before sticking her tongue out at her band mate.
“There you go, that wasn’t so bad was it?”
Perrie continued, “ok, now I want you to pick up two more pies and smash them into either side of your face, kinda like a sandwich”.
Jesy decided that she would have to let go of her inhibitions if she was to do this any justice. She grabbed hold of a pie in each hand and positioned herself to give Perrie the perfect view before wasting no time at all in giving herself the perfect pie sandwich.
Perrie cheered and applauded enthusiastically at the site of her band mate covered in the gooey substance. There were still seven pies left, Perrie continued to instruct Jesy through her various self-pieings, firstly watching on as Jesy smashed one on top of her head, coating her hair, and secondly as she placed a pie on the floor and sitting herself down on top of it.
Jesy placed one more pie square into her face before Perrie advised her to leave the remaining three pies and instead pick up the first of the four buckets, specifically the one filled with blue gunge.
Jesy looked more nervous again now, and Perrie tried to persuade her to relax. She asked Jesy to sit down in front of the camera and to hold the bucket tightly. Jesy did this and eventually, after some more gentle persuasion from Perrie, lifted the bucket and slowly tipped it out to enable the contents to pour down on to her.
Perrie watched on and couldn’t help but laugh as Jesy subjected herself to a thorough blue gunging. The gunge poured down over her hair and face, and made its way onto the orange gown. Jesy was getting into it again now and she continued to pour the blue gunge all over her body.
Once she had finished, Perrie gave her a round of applause. Jesy laughed, and Perrie laughed too. Jesy was starting to enjoy herself again now. She quickly picked up another bucket and was much quicker this time to empty the contents, coating herself in thick pink gunge from head to toe.
She poured it quickly and the gunge cascaded down rapidly. Despite it being slightly colder than the blue gunge, she still giggles away as got herself messier and messier.
Jesy Nelson raced to pick the next bucket up. Perrie was in hysterics on the video call, she couldn’t believe she was the only one witnessing this phenomenal exclusive.
The next bucket was full of yellow gunge. Although it looked like custard, it wasn’t. Jesy lay down on her back and started to pour the viscous yellow substance onto the satin gown. She continued to ensure the whole dress got full coverage before sensually rubbing her hands up and down the dress as the gunge soaked in.
Perrie was loving it and even felt a little turned on this. “Yes Jesy!” she shouted. Jesy finished with the yellow gunge and picked up the final bucket – filled to the brim with traditional green slime.
“Whenever you’re ready!” Perrie said.
Jesy sat herself in prime position and lifted the bucket up. Perrie counted down from 3 and right on cue Jesy commenced her final gunging, making sure she absolutely covered herself in the thick green substance.
Jesy finished the gunging and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. She was absolutely covered from head to toe and she wasn’t sure if the dress could be salvaged. Perrie reminded Jesy that there were three pies left to complete the challenge. Perrie gestured to Jesy what she wanted her to do with the first two.
Jesy pulled a face and made a noise of surprise but she went ahead and smashed two pies straight into her gunge soaked breasts. She then took the final pie and planted it perfectly on the top of her own head before standing up and taking a bow.
The two band mates laughed and eventually ended the video call. Jesy stood up and contemplated how on earth she was going to clean herself, and her dress up. She had certainly completed the challenge and in some style!
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
Sam Quek had really hit the limelight since forming part of Team GB’s successful gold medal winning hockey team. She didn’t think she had let the fame go to her head, but there was no denying that she was now having a much more successful career than some of her former team mates.
Some of them were starting to get jealous of Sam. They thought that the fame was starting to change her. Whilst they had no doubts that her tremendous good looks and athletic physique played a big part in her success, they thought they could take an opportunity to bring her down a peg or two.
Sam had done lots of good work for charity and raised lots of money, including taking 2,020 penalties for the recent BBC Sport Relief event. Sam’s ex team mates wondered if they could combine a charity fundraising event with some much needed revenge.
They got their thinking caps on and over a WhatsApp chat group started to share some ideas. They were looking for something with a catchy name, a clever name, and something that would definitely grab people’s attention. They also wanted to find a way to humiliate Sam, and treat her to something she would never forget.
After a lengthy chat and a few ideas being suggested the hockey girls settled on a name. They were going to call the challenge the Sam Dunk Challenge. Whilst they hadn’t figured out all the details, the premise was to be that it would involve their former team mate Sam Quek and a dunk tank (or two, or three…)
The girls continued to make arrangements and after a few days a full plan was hatched. The event would take place at the National Hockey Stadium, and would be a fundraising event for some local sports teams. The Sam Dunk challenge would take place at the stadium on the day of the game, and would see Sam dunked into five different dunk tanks.
The girls got everything ready and finalised he plans, they got everything they needed and got Sam on board for the event, they told her she’d be the host, and the star attraction. They all knew that the many males fans attending the event wouldn’t resist a photo with the gorgeous hockey star. The only challenge that they had was hiding the five large dunk tanks from Sam and making sure that on the morning of the event, she didn’t suspect a thing.
A few days before the event, the team captain, Kate, gave Sam a call. Sam already knew about the event and had already agreed to attend, but this phone call was to discuss the charity fundraiser. Kate explained to Sam that she would be completing a run, around the outside perimeter of the hockey stadium, and that this would take place a couple of hours before kick off.
Sam agreed, she didn’t think running around the outside of a stadium sounded too hard, she was an immensely fit athlete after all. What Kate had failed to tell Sam was about the little stops she would be making along the way, and the fact that she would end the run in a much messier state than she had started it.
The morning of the event arrived, Sam had been advised to wear something sporty. She found a hockey shirt, perfect for a hockey event, and a pair of tight fitting shorts. She tied her hair back in a ponytail. She always enjoyed these charity events, and whilst she knew she’d be doing a run, still wanted to make an effort to look good for the cameras and her fans.
Meanwhile, at the stadium, the full extent of what Sam was to be facing was being set up. Make no mistake, this was a huge logistical operation. The events company had never known anyone use five dunk tanks before and the gunge suppliers had never had such a big order.
Kate, and her partner Helen, were there organising everything, making sure if was just right. They had to make sure that each dunk tank was spaced far enough apart, but also that Sam wouldn’t see any of them on her way to the stadium or from the start line of the challenge.
They were thrilled with their efforts so far and managed to get a few photos of the set up before anyone else arrived. The first dunk tank had been deliberately placed in a shady spot to ensure the gunge stayed as cold as possible. The tank was full of thick red gunge and, to the other girls, looked gross.
They made their way inside the stadium and had a look around, very soon, supporters would be starting to arrive to soak up the atmosphere, and later that day Sam would be arriving to soak up the gunge.
The hockey girls made their way on to the pitch and looked around. They were all filled with a senses of anticipation for the day’s events.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could get the final dunk tank in the centre of the pitch?”, one of the girls suggested.
This was greeted with approval from all of the other girls. The hire company were still on site as they needed to get the dunk tanks back tonight, this was their whole supply, so the girls were able to go and speak to them and see if this was possible. After a few minutes of conversation, and eventual agreement from a reluctant groundsmen, it was agreed that final dunk tank, which was filled with golden slime for the golden Olympic girl, would be placed on full view in the centre of the pitch. What a moment that would be!
There was no less than an hour until the event got underway, and Sam was in the car making her way to the stadium. She still didn’t suspect a thing, the girls had done a great job ensuring a perfectly normal build up to what was going to be an event quite out of the ordinary.
Everything was now in place at the stadium and the final dunk tank had now been relocated to the centre of the pitch. It had also been fitted with the additional ramp feature to further add to the excitement and Rama of the final stadium gunging.
The tank was full of shimmering gold gunge. It looked epic, though the rest of the hockey girls were keen to avoid finding out what it actually felt like. The other tanks were all sorted too. These were filled with red, white and then blue gunge respectively to symbolise Team GB, while the fourth tank on the outside of the ground was filled with green gunge, after all, you can’t have a gunging without at least some of it being green now can you?
The girls got word that Sam was now just a few minutes away, so they made sure that they were in position to greet her. The driver had been given specific instructions to ensure that Sam did not get wind of anything that had been set up for her. They made their way towards the start line where Sam would be beginning her run. They could barely contain their excitement. Kate had to remind them to stay calm, in order not to arouse suspicion.
This was it. The moment that weeks of planning would all come to fruition. Sam’s car pulled up and the gorgeous former hockey star got out. She smiled broadly and waved to her former team mates before running over to greet them.
Sam had her long brown hair in a ponytail and was currently wearing an old club hockey kit. She hugged the girls one by one as she said hi to them all.
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So glad you could make it”, said Kate, “it should be a great day”. The others tried hard to contain small fits of giggles.
“Well I wouldn’t miss an event like this for the world”, Sam replied. “So what is it then? A lap round the stadium then finish in the centre of the pitch?”
“Something like that”, said Helen, as the girls tried hard not to laugh again.
There was still enough time for the girls to have a proper catch up with Sam over a coffee, whilst still desperately trying to conceal their plans. Finally the moment came when Sam went to get ready to start her challenge.
The girls waved her off as she went to get changed. She replaced the old local club hockey kit with a much smaller, tighter fitting one, more suitable for running in.
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As she made her way back outside, she could see that the crowds had started to gather, and even now, with less than five minutes until the start of her run with a difference Sam Quek still had no idea what was waiting her around the corner.
It was time for the big event to start. Sam, smiling and waving to the crowds, and lapping up every bit of adulation made her way to the start line. She looked around and realised her former team mates had now disappeared. Whilst she though this was odd at first, she reassured herself that they would be dotted around the course to cheer her on.
A klaxon sounded and Sam set off on her way, at a good pace initially, she was still smiling and trying to wave at as many people in the crowd as she could. She soon made her way to the fort bend, as she rounded it she could see a set of black hoardings that appeared to be blocking the way.
She started to look puzzled and slowed down. A siren blared loudly through the tannoy system. The boards were joked away to reveal Sam’s team mates, who were gathered around the first dunk tank.
Sam looked shocked. Her smile suddenly changed to a look of bewilderment, she shook her head and put her hands on her hips.
The stadium announcer welcomed Sam, and the watching crowd to The Sam Dunk Challenge. Sam shook her head again. She couldn’t believe that she had been set up like this, little did she know what else was to come later.
The challenge was explained (albeit hiding the fact that there were four more dunk tanks waiting for Sam) and the crowd cheered wildly as they waited in anticipation for what they were about to see.
Sam sighed. She looked at Kate and mouthed something to her. Kate could be seen laughing along with the rest of the hockey girls. Sam walked gingerly towards the dunk tank, taking good look at the thick red contents as she got closer.
She started to climb the ladder attached to the side of the tank. This was a traditional dunk tank with a collapsing seat, the ramp had been saved for the final golden dunking in the stadium centre circle. She could feel the sense of anticipation in the crowd for what was about to happen, it started to send tingles down Sam’s spine, maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all?
Sam was now in position, sat overlooking the tub of thick red slop. She had taken her running shoes off and left these on the side, she knew she’d Ned those in good condition, even though her feet wouldn’t be the cleanest.
“Are you ready for this?” Kate shouted Ona loudspeaker to encourage the crowd. It was fair to say they responded.
“And Sam, are you ready for this?”
Same nodded and flexed her biceps as if to demonstrate she was feeling strong. She took one last glance down at what was awaiting her, she’d have to get used to it.
The sense of anticipation grew and a countdown was started. In 5, 4, 3, 2,………..1.
Before Sam had time to realise the countdown had finished, the seat collapsed beneath her and the Team GB hockey star was sent plummeting down into, and beneat the surface of the thick red gunge.
The cheers grew in volume as Sam struggled to re-emerge and find any sort of footing. As she forced resell towards the edge of the tank, she finally became visible to the crowd when she grabbed onto the side and pulled herself up. As she did this she looked almost unrecognisable as the top held of her body could now be seen by the crowd.
Her face, her hair, in fact, her whole body was covered in thick red slime. Amidst the red blob, a glimmer of white could be made out as Sam lifted her hands out of the gunge and smiled as she tried to wipe some of the gunge from her face.
She looked round and saw her former GB team mates laughing at her. She couldn’t help but laugh herself. Kate used a megaphone to communicate with Sam, she didn’t want to get too close for fear of being splashed with gunge.
“You need to carry on your run now Sam”, she ordered.
Still looking a little bit overwhelmed from the dunking, Sam scrambled around trying to find the ladder to help her out of the tank. The girls were kind enough to leave her shoes ready for her so she could get on with the run.
Eventually, Sam made her way out of the tank to reveal the full extent of the coverage of the gunge. She waved again to the crowds and carefully put her trainers back on to set off on her run again.
Sam, still absolutely covered from head to toe in gunge, set off on her way again, as she moved on she could see that there was a a team of men’s hockey players lining both sides of the route. What she had failed to see was what they were holding.
As she got closer, they started to throw buckets of feathers towards the pretty hockey star, which naturally started to stick to the gunge she was already covered in. Sam giggled as the ticklish feathers started to stick to her. As she ran through the barrage she had a quick glance down and realised just how ridiculous she now looked. She kept on running, and more to her surprise than the girls expected, arrived at another dunk tank.
Sam rolled her eyes, how lon was this going to go on for, she thought. This was an unusual dunk tank as it was filled with white gunge, something rarely seen, not least this large a quantity of it. The crowds had followed on behind her, she couldn’t exactly run very fast covered in all that gunk, and there was quite a crowd around this tank already.
Sam knew the drill by now. She kicked off her shoes and started to climb the ladder. There was an even greater sense of anticipation in the crowd this time, particularly from the men that had gathered to witness this unique event.
Sam was soon in place, ready to be dropped into the vat. She smiled, waved and even blew kisses to the crowd. She had decided at this point she might as well milk (no pun intended) the admiration of the many onlookers. And as the countdown started, she took a final glance down at what was awaiting her this time.
Even with her ears clogged up with gunge from the first dunking, Sam could hear the countdown beginning and braved herself for what was about to come. As that countdown reached its climax, the seat beneath her gave way, seemingly quicker this time, and dropped Sam suddenly beneath the thick white gunge.
The crowd could barely believe their eyes as Sam emerged, many of the now felt she looked better than ever as she rose above the surface of the dunk tank, plastered in the thick white liquid.
Sam tried to look around and quickly find a way out of the tank. It was safe to say she wasn’t as keen on this gunging as she had the first one, there was something about the colour that was off putting for her. She eventually made her way out of the tank, dripping in more gunge, she scrambled to get her shoes on and start running again.
The pattern hadn’t escaped the Team GB athlete. After all the GB colours are red, white and blue, and she had only had red and white so far. She set off at quite a pace this time, keen to get the third (and what she assumed would be final) dunking out of the way.
As she rounded the next bend, there it was, the third dunk tank, filled to the brim with dark blue slime. It was quite the site, a glorious colour, and despite its gungey nature, just looked more appealing than the last vat of white goo. The crowds started to gather again and Sam knew the routine by now, so once again, she kicked her shoes off and prepared to be dunked.
The crowd was once again larger than for the previous dunking, though the pace that Sam had run at meant that some of those who witnessed the previous dunking had struggled to keep up this time. She struggled up the ladder, her feet were slipping as they were still covered in gunge.
Sam took her seat. She did the usual smile and wave to the crowd and gave a thumbs up. She also had her now customary glance down at what was ready and waiting for her. She sighed, resigned to her gungey fate once more. The readied herself as Kate and Helen led the crowd in the third countdown.
Five seconds later and Sam had that inevitable sinking feeling again. This time she held her nose as she disappeared beneath the thick bright blue slime. As she re-emerged, she removed the hair band from her ponytail and let her long gunge soaked hair cascade down her back.
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She looked around and could see an array of camera and phones filming every second of her humiliating ordeal.
Once again, she climbed gracefully out of the tank, popped her shoes on and set off. Surely that was the last of the gunge, she thought to herself. She muttered something to herself, but it couldn’t be heard. The crowds followed on behind Sam as she completed what was a slightly longer stretch of running.
However, it wasn’t long before the final treat outside of the stadium. This was to be the dunking in the classic green slime. Sam couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw a FOURTH dunk tank ready and waiting for her. The gunge was in pristine condition. Untouched. It wouldn’t last long.
“Oh my God”, Sam exclaimed, “seriously?”
The hockey girls who had been following her round laughed. They really were loving every second of this.
“We promise this is the last one round her”, Helen said.
Sam nodded and began the usual process of removing her shoes and climbing up to take her position. Once again, she took the time to acknowledge the watching audience. “Come on then, bring it on!”, Sam roared.
The crowd cheered wildly, and Sam’s former team mates began counting down. A few seconds later and…SPLASH…
Sam had disappeared from view again. Her fourth dunking in the space of just a few minutes. She was completely submerged beneath the traditional gree gunge. Of course, the red, white and blue gunge that she already had remains of covering her from head to toe blended in with the green and made for a less attractive brownish colour in the centre of the tank as Sam emerged from beneath the surface.
This time she took the decision to move close to the edge of the tank, and starting to splash gunge around outside the tank, not really caring who she covered. She looked round trying to see her former teammates and making sure they were amongst those that she splashed.
Eventually she made her way out of the tank, climbing down the ladder and trying her best to clean herself up as much as she could before putting her shoes off and setting off again.
This was to be the final leg of the run around the stadium. Sam made her way around, still dripping with gunge, trying to up the pace to stay warm as the cold gunge clung to her body. She rounded the final bend and was ushered into the stadium. She ran through a small concourse area before entering the tunnel which had been lined with protective sheeting.
Finally, this would be her moment of glory out on the pitch after a phenomenal effort all in the name of charity. Sam Quek made her way onto the pitch to an ovation from the capacity crowd. Despite being covered from head to toe in gunge, she really did feel quite special as she lapped up the applause.
At least that was the case until she noticed what had been set up in the centre of the pitch. She almost stopped to a complete halt in shock. This was far more elaborate than anything she had experience around the outside of the stadium. This was huge.
As she made her way over to a small stage that had been set up, where the stadium presenter was waiting for her, Sam took the opportunity to look at the big screen and try and establish what was in the final tank.
“Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Sam Quek!” the pitch based announcer declared.
Sam tried to take it all in, smiling and waving as much a she could in the circumstances. The presenter, a pretty blonde in her early 30s, tried her best to keep a safe distance from Sam whilst at the same time preparing to do a short interview.
“Sam, welcome to the National Hockey Stadium, how are you feeling after your run, with a difference?”
“Well Becky, safe to say it wasn’t what I was expecting and some of that gunge was absolutely rank, but it’s all for a good cause I guess, and I’m sure this stuff washes off, right?”
“I’m sure it does Sam, now I can you that so far you’re have raised at incredible £23,500 for charity!” The packed out stadium cheered and Sam looked stunned at just how much money she’d manage to raise.
“Now Sam, as I’m sure you can see, there is one final part to your challenge today. If you take a trip into our last, Rey special, dunk tank, here in the centre of the National Hockey Stadium, we will double the money you have raised so far today”.
Sam nodded and rolled her eyes. She was already covered in gunge so she realised it would make no difference to her bedraggled appearance, and of course there was the added bonus that it would double the money she had already raised.
She agreed to take the final dunking, much to the delight of the watching crowd. Sam took a look at the final contraption. It looked much more elaborate than the simple collapsing seat she had faced so far. A stage hand showed her where she could make her way onto the tank.
Sam removed her gunge soaked shoes for the final time and began to make her way up a ladder at the side of the tank. When she reached the top, she was able to sit on a chair, much more comfortable than the devices outside the stadium, for now at least. It hadn’t really occurred to her that her entrance into this particular tank would be anything but comfortable.
The presenter got a nod from the dunk tank operator to confirm Sam was correctly in position. Sam was sat perilously above the largest vat of gunge she had face. Her feet were dangling a mere few inches above the golden gunge. Golden gunge for the golden girl, a fitting way to end some unusual charitable exploits.
“Right, are we ready to see Sam face one final dunking?” the presenter asked the crowd, who needed no encouragement to give a raucous response.
“What about Sam, are you ready for your golden moment?”
Sam put her thumbs up and gingerly gave one final wave.
“In that case, let crank her up”.
The crowd cheered again. Sam looked around anxiously as the chair slowly worked its way up the the incline, clicking into place as it reach the top.
Sam, still dripping with gunge from the previous four dunkings, was getting colder by the second and now just wanted the whole thing to be over. She could see a large number 10 appear on the stadium screen and knew that the countdown to her final gunging was about to commence.
The countdown began and dramatic sound and lighting effects filled the stadium. As it reached the last few seconds, Sam braced herself.
The clock reached zero, some pyrotechnics were let off and gold medal winning hockey player, turned TV star Sam Quek was sent hurtling down the ramp at rapid speeds. She shut her eyes just before impact, and as a result ended up being flung off the chair and going far first into the thick golden gunge.
Fans all around the stadium were watching with intent, either at the tank itself in the centre of the pitch, or at one of the two large screens at either end of the stadium, waiting for Sam to emerge from beneath the gunge. They didn’t have to wait long, and what a sight it was.
Sam emerged, though you wouldn’t know it was her, completely covered in slime. The unique colour had seemed to result in this slime being much thicker than the four previous vats and Sam was genuinely unrecognisable as gunge coated every single part of her.
The crowd erupted. They had never seen anything like this, and probably never would again. What a moment! What a gunging! A truly crowning moment from a memorable event. Sam was clearly a little more flustered by the nature of this final dunking and took a while to regain her composure. She was invited to the edge of the tank in order to try and complete an interview.
“Ladies and gentlemen, can we have a massive round of applause for the sensational Sam Quek”, the presenter shouted from the stage. Sam did her best to wave and acknowledge the crowd’s response.
“Sam, how are you feeling?”
“Well, it’s safe to say I’ve had better days! It started to get really cold as I got further round. Safe to say it wasn’t quite how I expected to spend the day”.
“And what do you want to say to your former team mates who set this up?” Helen and Kate walked on stage at this point.
“Oh, I’ll get them back, make no doubt about it. This was disgusting!”
“Well Sam, hopefully it will all be worth it when I tell you that you’ve raised an incredible £47,000 for charity. How does that make you feel?”
Sam was still trying to clear her face entirely from gunge but was visibly delighted by this. “Wow, that’s fantastic, thanks to everyone that’s supported this event today”.
“Ladies and gentlemen, one more time for Sam Quek!”
The dunk tank lifted onto some wheels and slowly began to be manoeuvred off stage with some help from the event crew. Once the tank was out of view, it was moved into a large open expanse within the confines of the stadium building.
From here Sam was helped out of the tank, and was now safe in the knowledge that her gungings were over. She was wrapped in some plastic sheeting and shown to a shower room. Here Sam stripped to her underwear and stepped into the shower to thoroughly clean herself up, this might take some time.
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The water was hot at first but this quickly ran out and Sam resorted to washing the last of the gunge off in much colder water.
Once she had finished cleaning herself off, she was able to get herself dry and get dressed to watch the game, she had missed the first 10 minutes it had taken her so long. But despite the copious amounts of gunge, and the eventual lack of hot water, Sam had managed to make herself look presentable again. She slipped into a stunning blue dress and made her way into the stadium, where she had a seat reserved in the Directors’ box.
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At half time, she conducted a range of press interviews about her run and spoke at length about her epic series of gungings. This event had clearly drawn a lot of attention.
As the day drew to a close, Sam met up with her former team mates in the bar.
“Why on earth did you put me through that?” she asked.
“We wanted to see you get messy”, one of the girls replied, “ you are doing so much TV work and always look so glamorous, we wanted to see you at your worst!”
“You certainly did that. You got me good and proper!” Sam laughed.
The girls continued to talk about the events from the day over a few more glasses of wine. The continued until the evening entertainment of a charity auction. The first item up for grabs was a custard pie. Would this be the chance for Sam to start her revenge?
30 minutes later when Sam was back in the changing rooms, desperately trying to remove as much custard from her hair as possible, she knew that this really wasn’t her day.
the ‘Fishing Rodeo’ was an annual tournament that was sponsored by the ‘The Benton Bass Federation’ a local association of professional and amateur fisherman and women. The tournament often meant big business for the downtown merchants too, as tourists from the surrounding cities and towns would flood in, some even entering their names into the event in hopes of claiming the bragging rights that came with catching the biggest fish. And of course, some hoped to pocket their share of the prize money being offered. Though save for a few professional fishermen, most of whom were retired and thus could devote considerable more time to honing their craft than say me. Who was for the most part still an amateur when it came down to the brass taxes of it, anyway most if not all of the people who entered the tournament were hobbyist fishermen.
Now the ‘Fishing Rodeo’ was almost always held on the first Saturday of the month of August. With that in mind, I had requested to be off that day. Because, like I said before, I was something of an avid fisherman though I was still something of a novice, though many of my peers considered me the best in Benton. I was also one of the newest members of ‘The Benton Bass Federation’ since I considered the main goal of the association was to promote good sportsmanship and good practices among the members as a noble goal. And one I considered worthy of my support.
Now returning to the story, the morning had dawned gray and clear. The weather channel had given the forecast for the day as clear skies and plenty of sunshine with the wind blowing at five to ten miles an hour would prove ideal at keeping the seasonal plague of gnats, horseflies and mosquitoes at bay. And with weight being set at noon, I attended to be the first one at the pier that morning with my hook in the water before the sun had even risen. And so, with my mind, it was still black dark when I started to load my trike down with all the gear I thought I might need. That included a fishing pole, a pink and white tackle box that was filled with all my fishing gear, you know, spare hooks, corks, line, weights, split shot, gloves, lures, and flies.
Nestled beside the tackle box was a small ice chest that was filled with ice. I had filled the ice chest with ice of course, but also a few bottles of my favorite flavor of gator-aid, lemon lime, a few slices extra thick slices of Brayn deli classic bologna. And for something sweet, I had even tucked away a few moon pies. It was a classic southern fishing lunch, something to ward off hunger. And since I was skipping breakfast that morning, I would really need a snack a few hours in.
Once my gear was packed, I mounted my bike and tightened the strap of the pink and white bike helmet. You know safety first and all that good jazz. Once the strap on my back was nice and tight, I mounted my bike and then I took off. As I pedaled my bike down the cobblestone paved street. My mind started to wander and I started to think back. So much much was changing in my life. I mean it was now summer, eight or nine months ago my older sister Lily had asked me to volunteer to be the hostage in a silly tradition our school puts on for homecoming. In those eight or nine months I had gone from being a shy, slightly withdrawn little boy to a full fledged girl who had really started to come out of her shell a ton. Everything seemed to be going my way, I had a small part time job working with my sister in her maid-cafe style bakery. I had a small circle of really good and faithful friends I could depend on. I had gotten really good grades last year. I was going to be on the cheerleading squad next year, Lily was already starting to teach me some basic moves and the other girls were already teaching me the basic cheers and above all and I’m quite proud of this. I even had a boyfriend, whom I loved and cherished above all else and he returned my love with the most tender of affection and devotion any girl could ask for.
All of these thoughts floated around my head as I biked down the aged cobblestone paved streets of Benton. Soon I found myself biking down the main street area, most of the shops were closed, save only for Ginger Even’s Bakery that was just starting to put out some hot from the oven, yeast risen and glazed donuts. A few old cars dotted the parking lot of Sunflower Food Store, Benton’s premier and only full line grocery store. The town it seemed was still asleep or was in the process of waking up. One of the two I assumed, but at length I finally reached the small park that was located at the bottom of main street. You see, the town was first settled into an ‘S’ curve of the Big Black River. The original name of the town was ‘Hannah’s Landing’ because in those early days, keel boats, flat bottom boat, and latter paddle wheel boats, the most famous and well remembered of these being the ‘River Belle’ and the ‘General Washington’ would land and upload there cargo at the bottom of Main. Those days have long since passed into a hazy memory, and now only the occasional river barge would dock down at the harbor.
Returning to my story, there now sits a huge concrete amphitheater down where the boats used to unload their goods. Surrounding the amphitheater are about a half dozen wooden piers that extend into the river, people are allowed to fish from these platforms. And about a mile and a half down from the amphitheater there is a section of sandbar we locals call “The Beach ” because it kind of looks like a beach, the sand is really sugary white and coarse too. And on really windy days, when the winds would blow at twenty to thirty miles a hour, waves as big as anything seen on the coast would pop up out on the river and they would even start to whitecap and there was even a little run down wooden shack out there that sold snacks on busy days. You know, corn dogs, funnel cakes, dough boys smeared with honey, flavored chipped ice, ice cream by the scoop you know, your basic outdoor warm weather type of foods. They even sometimes fired up the old grill out back and grilled hot dogs, sausage dogs, hamburgers and steaks. We called it the ‘Snack Shack’ fitting enough I suppose and look at me, I’m rambling off the head again.
Anyway I soon reached the pier and found them swamped with people all dressed to the nines in fishing gear. From where I stood at the top of the hill, I had an ideal view to look down at the gathered mob of people, I mentally counted around two dozen heads. Meaning twenty four people had turned out to try their luck. A sudden stiff breeze blew the scent of strongly brewed coffee right across my face. Now down here in Dixie we call this type of coffee “High Cotton” coffee because it’s said to be so strong that it would make the cotton seeds shoot up from the ground and bloom. Soon, I could hear the noise and chatter from a dozen or so loud and animated conversations. All focusing on the task at hand, catching the biggest largemouth bass and winning the grand prize of five hundred dollars and a nice trophy to boot, cause you know, trophies are nice. The second place prize was two hundred dollars and a smaller trophy, not as big as the first but still nice. And finally the third place prize was a hundred dollars and a small, but still cool looking trophy.
Anyway, I parked my bike by the iron wrought bike rack and secured it with a good length of gray iron chain I had brought from the local hardware store. Not that I really really needed too, you see Benton is that kind of small southern town where you can sleep with your bedroom window wide open and your front door unlocked. But, the bike had cost me around three hundred dollar or so and required dad to drive me to the newly built Walmart Supercenter in nearby Yazoo City to pick it up. And so, I’m not taking any chances with this puppy. Anyway once my bike was safe and secure, I started to walk down the concrete sidewalk that snaked its way down from the top of the hill to the docks below. Once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I started to make my way through the crowds of people who had gathered around the table. There I was greeted with a sight that made my blood run cold, sitting behind the table was a woman, one I knew right off the bat.
She had long, honey blonde hair that reached down to her shoulders, she was dressed in a simple, solid yellow sundress and pretty, freshly painted toes were covered by heeled saddles. The smile she wore on her face was one of those Hollywood smiles that famous starlets give off when there on the air. The kind of smile that seems to fill the room with bright light and tends to draw people in like a moth toward an open flame. I knew the woman as Heather Ford. Or, Ms. Ford as proper social equate in the south would demand me to call her. She was the hostess of the popular PBS night time talk show “Heather’s House Party” a kind of American reboot of the cult classic British late night talk show “Noel House Party” the only difference was “Heather’s House Party” had more of that high class old school feel about that. For example, there was a real antebellum southern feel about the set of “Heather’s House Party| with the set being designed to mimic a tea room that one will most likely find in any number of well preserved, and historically registered antebellum homes that are scattered throughout the south. Most of those are clustered in either Vicksburg or Natchez, but Benton has one or two of them.
As I neared the registration table, the woman staffing it, looked up and offered me something of a small smile. She then leaned back into her chair and fixed her baby blue eyes upon me. Then in a very high class, southern tone of voice, a tone of voice I have coined the “High Southern” because it reminds me so much of that classic southern accent one hears on those classic period dramas such as “Gone with the Wind” and “Gods and Generals”.
“We’ll bless my heart. If its not little old Jamie Sarah Potter herself.” She said leaning back in her chair, she then fixed those big blue eyes upon me and smiled. “It seems you’re becoming quite popular around her. Everybody has been talking about you and how talented you are. It seems you’ve learned the fishing trade from your uncle? A one Thomas Weller Potter, who is a well known regional trapper, commercial fisherman and something of an avoid storyteller.”
A small smile graced my face as I nodded my head in agreement, my uncle Thomas Weller Potter had indeed taught me how to fish and he was indeed well known for his skill at fur trapping and was something of a highly successful commercial fisherman. He was also, as Heather Ford said, something of an avid storyteller who could spin a yarn as long as your leg. And if any one would give him a chance, he would often twiddle away a whole afternoon vividly recalling accounts from his misguided youth. He was also overly fond of ghost stories.
“Yep,” I said walking over to the table. I then bent down, took a forum from a neat stack of papers. I then reached down and took a fountain pen from the table and started to fill in the boxes. I was almost halfway through when out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Heather smiling toward me. I blinked and finished filling in the boxes. Once the forum was completed, I handed the completed form back to Heather who looked it over and finally after a stress filled few minutes she gave it her nod of approval and slipped it into the stack of the completed forums.
“So, I don’t know if anybody has informed you Miss. Potter,” Heather said smiling toward me, “But there has been a slight change of pace, you see, since I’m in town, we’ll I kind of live here now.” She said blushing a little. “I figured we could do a live streaming show here today. And since it won’t be Heather’s House Party without the gunge tank, I took the liberality of having it set up in the charming concrete amphitheater located just a mile away. We figured that it would be added element of mild humiliation that whoever catches the smallest fish of the day would suffer an ice cold gunging at the hands of the person who caught the biggest fish.” She said the last part with a wink. “I lifted the idea from one of those charming Japanese comic books you had laying around your room.”
Once more I felt my cheeks starting to bloom with color as memories of my last encounter with Heather came flooding back. It was last Halloween, I had only been living as Jamie for a few months. And I was still totally new to being a girl, with me still being new to being a girl, I had kind of chosen to opt out of the yearly tradition of wearing a revealing or risque costume. Anyway, I had chosen to spend that fable evening sitting at home, feasting on personal pan pizzas from the then newly built Pizza Hut pizza place and sipping ice cold Coca-Cola while watching rerun episodes of “Ghost Adventures” and episode after episode of shows that focused on the ghostly encounters, paranormal encounters and battles with demons. Anyway I was just about to turn in for the night, when my mom popped into my room. I remember my mom and dad had just returned from the annual Halloween Fete that’s held each year in Bran Park, another park in town that is located on the other side of town. I can’t recall what mom was wearing, I think she was dressed in a simple colonial style gown.
Anyway she popped into my room and after a moment’s pause, maybe wondering about the three boxes of personal pan pizza boxes scattered about and the dozen or so empty cans of soda, she informed me that I had an visitor waiting for me down in the living room. A woman by the name of Ms. Heather Ford. Slightly puzzled I followed my mother down the stairs and into the living room. There I found sitting upon the living room sofa, sitting beside my older sister Lily Elizabeth Potter and soon my mother was the starlet of Heather’s House Party herself, Ms. Heather Ford herself. Who after a moment of pleasant conversation, quickly informed me that my sister had written a letter stating that I had been acting like a big old brat and that she felt a public gunging was in order to knock me down a peg or two. Shocked, stunned and beyond words, I remember following her outside to the front porch, then I remember descending down the wooden steps and onto the cobblestone street. And there in the center of the street stood the fabled gunge tank that had been filled with gallons of deep, rustic orange gunge!
“Hello?!” Heather’s voice rang out, as clear as a sabbath bell. “Hello, ground control calling Jamie, space command calling Jamie Sarah Potter. Can you hear me?” Her voice called out again, still spaced, I just stood there with my feet rooted into the ground, “Ladies and gentleman. I’m afraid to report that we have lost contact with Jamie Sarah Potter. She is not floating deep into the uncharted regions of space.” She added in a mocking concern voice, a tone of voice that made a few nearby people chuckle and giggle.
I blinked and blinked again as I felt my high cheek bones start to flush with color as I felt Heather Ford starting to tease me a little, slowly I took a deep breath, folded my arms across my chest, curled my lips into a pout and turned my full attention toward the woman. Who returned my pouting with a small demure smile as she walked over and swiftly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug.
“Aw, don’t pout sweetie, I was just teasing you.” She released me from her bone crushing hug and smiled toward me, “Anyway we’re burning sunshine here. Why don’t you go ahead and start fishing. Remember we’re going to start judging at straight up twelve o’ clock.” And with that she stepped away. She was about to vanish into the crowds of gathered specters when she quickly paused, turned upon her heel and winked toward me.
“And also honey, one more thing. Since I’m entering this little village contest too, you might even get the change to gunge me in my own tank. So here’s your one and maybe only shot at revenge.” She paused and walked back toward me.
“We’ll see about that! I called out as I turned toward the departing Heather. I sighed and then looked down at the small, pastel pink and white “Hello Kitty” digital watch wrist watch that was strapped around my slender wrist. The digital time read seven fifteen in the morning. I nodded my head, I had just under five hours to hook and land the biggest fish this sleepy little town has ever seen and with that I would claim my rightful place in history. Quickly, I started to gather up my gear. Once my gear was gathered up, I started to trot toward the nearest pier. Time was starting to slip through my fingers. And I did not have a minute or so to lose.
After a brief five minute or so walk, I finally reached the end of one the pier. The morning sun was just starting to break across the horizon. The water was a little choppy and the soothing sound of the waves crashing into the rocky shoreline rang in my ears. Taking a deep breath, I raised up my fishing rod, pressed down release and tossed my line out into the water. And then I waited, and waited, and as the minutes slowly started to tick by, I was starting to give up hope. Then I felt a sudden tug at the end of the light. My line became tight and the reels started to howler as whatever was attached to the end dove down deep. I knew then, the fight was on.
For sixteen minutes I fought tooth and nail, that fish and I. I could feel that fish was a monster, it pulled and tugged, and I reeled and reeled, each time I would gain a mere inch on him, I would quickly two more. It was a heroic fight, and several times I brought him to the top of the water. His majestic tail danced on top of the waves, he would dance for a long second or two then, with renewed strength he would dive down, deeper and deeper he went. He was fighting with all his strength, with every ounce of it. And oddly enough, I could sense that through the line. Once he had almost me on the ropes, as I was leaning so far over the wooden railing of the end of the pier, once or twice, I feared it might give way and I’ll fall into the water.
Then it happened, the line snapped and my big monster of a fish escaped. The fight had left me a hush of a woman. I was breathing harder than a dragon and sweating like a pig. The fight had sapped all my strength, I had lost if not all of the feeling in my hand, and the most damning of all, my spirit had been crushed. That was easily the biggest fish I had ever seen in my life and maybe the biggest one I had ever hooked. And it was gone, gone forever.
The Hannah Potter Amphitheater was a concrete amphitheater located downtown and it was filled with people. Located at the stage at the bottom was a clear plastic booth with a reservoir of pastel pink colored gunge. Standing near the booth , resting on a white and green plastic law chair was a woman with long, golden blonde hair that reached down to the small of her back. She graced the prettiest blue eyes you had ever seen. She was dressed in a light, yellow sundress. A coy smile graced her face as they peered toward the rows of people, all of them decked out to the nines in light summer wear.
From where I was sitting, at the very top row, I took note that most of the guys wore either solid color t-shirts and tropical print swim trunks that were paired with simple plastic sandals or gray colored crocs. A type of plastic shoe that’s quite popular with people who often visit the lake, because they dry out quickly in the hot summer sun and provided plenty of protection for your feet. After all, despite the cities best efforts to to clean up the lakeside part that the concrete amphitheater was located in, there still could be hidden dangers lurking about. Such as shards of broken glass, rusted nails from pieces of long rotted away pieces of driftwood, jagged pieces of iron and tin that were discarded long ago by a careless fisherman or farmer.
The girls for the most part wore colorful, pastel colored sundresses over there two piece bikinis or one piece bathing suits, most of them wore colorful beach shoes or thick plastic saddles, I myself had stripped down to my bathing suit, a cute, solid navy blue swimsuit that was modeled off the ones wore by Japanese schools and often appear in Slice of Life anime’s my favorite type of anime’s. I had ordered the swimsuit from a J-List, an online retailer that focused on selling goods that otaku’s like me craved. Including cosplay props and costumes.
When I first ordered the item, I thought it would be just a really cute and somewhat risque costume. I quickly found out that the swimsuit was really a swimsuit.
“Good afternoon everyone.” Heather called out as she walked out to the center of the amphitheater. “We’re coming to you live, on location from Bent, a picture perfect village located at the edge of the Mississippi delta. Today the Benton Bass Federation has sponsored a Fishing Rodeo. And well, to spice things up a bit, we decided on adding an extra forfeit. The person who caught the smallest fish would have the pleasure of going into the gunge tank and get gunged by the person who caught the biggest fish. And now without further delay, let’s have the results. Can I have a drum roll please?”
Heather then paused as an already recorded drum roll was played over the sound system. A blonde haired stage hand then handed Heather a sealed envelope, she waited for the roll to play out before she broke the seal and pulled out the thin sheet of paper.
“Okay, it seems that Ms. Jamie Sarah Potter, a student at Benton Academy and a part time waitress and baker at Sweet Magnolia, a maid theme cafe located in the historical downtown area of Benton, did not have any luck today and did not catch a fish. And by default she caught the smallest fish. While shocking enough, it seems, that I caught the biggest fish today, with it weighing in at eight pounds and four ounces.” She stuffed the paper back into the envelope and smiled as she handed it back to the stage hand.
I felt another wave of heat pass over my cheeks as all eyes turned and focused in on me. Drawing a deep breath, I slowly lifted myself from the concrete bench and stood ramrod straight. Still blushing I started to pick my way through the rows of people till at last I found myself standing on the stage below. Heather, smiling from one ear to the other walked over to me and wrapped one of her arms around my shoulder. For a long minute we exchanged knowing glances as she guided me into the tank. A big round circle had been placed in the bottom of the tank, taking a wild guess, I stepped into the center of the circle and waited.
Heather only giggled like a schoolgirl as she stepped to the side of the tank. She then took the release cord into her hands and smiled and then a second later she gave it a good hard tug. Seconds later, I felt something cold fall down upon the top of my head. I quickly closed my eyes and leaned into the downpour. The brightly colored paste smelled nice at least, the smell reminded me of freshly picked strawberries, straight from the field. And it was bloody freezing cold too, it had the consistency of liquid mud. As the mud like liquid rained down on my shoulder, rolled down my back, coated my hair and started to pool around my feet. I felt a sense of sheer coldness starting to encase me.
My blush only started to deepen as I heard thousands of voices starting to laugh and clap. Then it hit me like a verbal ton of bricks, the coldness, the sheer coldness of the stuff and how it clung to me like mud. Now I had been slime twice before, once at my school’s homecoming football game. It was something of a weird tradition called the “Hostage Exchange” the other time was on Halloween. As part of a prank played by my older sister.
But both of those times, the gunge had been a bit runny and watery, this time the gunge was super thick, sticky, almost like mud or jam and the coldness, the coldness seemed to cling to me, it seemed to surround me, my arms started to pimple and my heart started to race as the last few drops fell down on my head.
“Oh my!” Exclaimed Heather as she peered into the booth. “I think they might have used a little too much powder when they were mixing up this batch of gunge.” She said smiling as she winked toward the crowd. “I gotta say though, pink is really your color darling. It looks so good on you, a lot better than that year old gunge we used last time?” She added with a wink.
I blushed again, it was a joke you see, last time Heather gunged me, she hinted that the gunge had been left over from last Halloween. I was later told once the cameraman had packed up his gear, and the crowd had vanished or returned back to their warm cozy homes or back to their Halloween parties or whatever their business was that night. Yes once they had vanished from sight, Heather had pulled me to the side and in her own words told me that that little statement had been nothing but ‘A throwaway Line’ a line meant to get a response from the crowd. Heather’s really nice too, she even came to visit me in the hospital a few days after Halloween was over. That not to say she not a real witch when it comes to mixing up this stuff. She like a devilish mix of Frankenstein and Einstein when it comes to gunge. Meaning she very creative, very brilliant and at times very cruel.
“Right, it also smells better.” I added throwing in my own brand of really dry Episcopalian humor.
“We’ll strawberries are in season, and your best friend, Madeline, who also works part time at the maid cafe and part time on her family’s farm allowed me to pick a basket full. Some even made it into the basket. So I figured one of the key ingredients to this batch of slime would be locally grown and harvested strawberries. Gotta support you’re local farmers.” She paused, “You’ll also be glad to know that the gunge is a classic mixture. We only used cake batter, oil, eggs and applesauce. All ingredients were brought from Benton’s own Potter Mercantile. I think that your families shop right?” She said, smiling a soft smile.
I felt my cheeks starting to heat up again. She was right, getting slime with ingredients that came from my family’s shop and my best friends farm kind of did add another layer of embarrassment to the whole thing. And to respond to that, I could only muster a weak smile. And that’s how my fishing adventure ended. With me standing in a gunge tank, covered in pastel pink, strawberry scented gunge, gunged once again by a regional celebrity and once more in front of the whole town. What a way I thought to kick off my summer holiday. What a way.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
Noelle Foley
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And Alicia Atout
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raced from the starting point into the Challenge 3. The PA announcer spoke “For this round, you need to pull the ropes attached to the buckets. We have brown slime, white slime, and black slime. You cant move through until you dump the brown slime on yourself.
The girls made it to the buckets, and began pulling. Alicia pulled the first rope, and white slime fell all over her. She reached for the second rope, and now black slime fell all over her. Finally and by process of elimination, she pulled the final rope, and got covered with brown slime. She was now able to advance. Meanwhile, Noelle also struggled. She got coated in black slime first, then white slime, and then finally drew the brown slime. As each wave of slime hit her, she cringed more and more.
The two multi-colored ladies ran towards the next stage. The PA announcer guided them “Now, you must get dropped in the pool of brown slime, and you must find the key hidden in there.” In front of the Noelle and Alicia stood two burly stagehands, and behind them were the pools filled the unpleasant looking gunk.
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Both girls ran forward, the stagehands leaned forward, and back-body dropped Noelle and Alicia face first into the pool. Both girls emerged covered in the thick, viscous brown swill. Noelle seemed to be a bit overwhelmed, and she wrung her hands and tried, with little success, to clean her face. This allowed Alicia to find her key first. Noelle then composed and dug through the muck, albeit with much disdain. She found her key, the problem was, Alicia was way ahead of her, unlocked the door, and tagged in her teammate Britt Baker.
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Noelle finally got to her door, unlocked it, and tagged in her teammate Tegan Nox…
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However, there was one last wrinkle. As Noelle attempted to leave, Alicia gave her one last push into the pool of sludge. Noelle was once again forced to bathe in slime, much to her visible distaste.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story will contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature.
“Welcome to Tiswas/OTT Charity Revival Part 9” said Chris Tarrant. “We now have a cooking spot organized by my two Assistants Maisie Smith and Amber Gill. What could possibly go wrong?” he said sarcastically as the gunge covered and naked Maisie and Amber both tottered on in their high heels.
“What are you going to make for us ladies?” Chris asked. “We’ll be making and baking a cake” said Maisie. “Have either of you done much cooking or baking before?” asked Chris. “I can make a pot noodle” said Amber. “How do you make that?” said Maisie. “You add water” said Chris throwing a bucket of water at Maisie. “What am I like?” she replied giggling. “Wet and Messy” replied Chris. “What about me?” asked Amber. “Here you are” said Chris and threw a bucket of water over Amber’s head.
“Ladies and Gentleman, I’m going to leave the girls to run this section of the show” said Chris crossing himself and looking up to the sky. Maisie was facing the wrong way deliberately as the camera zoomed in on her shapely gunge covered bum. She turned around and said “Behave”. “I’ve asked someone to come and help me with the baking please welcome Kym Marsh” said Amber.
Kym walked on wearing sexy workout gear.
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“Look at the state of you two” said Kym as she hugged Maisie and Amber. “You look very sexy and sporty” said Amber. “Well all the other ladies are flashing the flesh and I have a feeling that you’ll get me messy” said Kym. “What makes you think that?” joked Amber looking at a table full of custard pies behind her. “Did you know I was Number One the week that Maisie was born?” said Kym. “What was the song?” said Maisie. “The Way To Your Love by Hear’say” said Kym. “Never heard of the song or the band” said Maisie as Kym stood there with her hands on her hips. “Have you done much cooking?” Amber asked Kym. “I cook at home but I don’t recall cooking on TV before” Kym replied.
“To help me with my baking I’ve got a real expert. Please welcome Dianne Buswell” said Maisie. Dianne walked on wearing a robe which she opened and dropped to reveal a very sexy bikini.
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“I’m delighted to have you on my team as you are an expert cook” said Maisie. Dianne looked a bit surprised. “Dianne told me she is an amazing baker and we are going to whip your butts” said Maisie. Amber playfully bent over and Maisie spanked her once. “I didn’t know Dianne was a good cook” said Amber. “Neither did I” said Dianne. “You told me you were when we met on Children in Need Strictly. Which I won” said Maisie. “I told you that I had a barbecue in the summer when you asked me which part of America I was from and I said I was actually Australian and you then asked where Australia was and what an Australian does” Dianne said. “Oh” said Maisie. “You’ve done it again” said Amber and gave Maisie a custard pie in the face.
“Maisie is a fantastic dancer though and has been amazing on this show. Sending herself up and not giving a hoot what people think” said Dianne as the audience applauded Maisie. “Let’s do the splits together” said Dianne. “But we haven’t got a cake to do it into” joked Maisie. “We’ll improvise” said Dianne placing two custard pies on the floor. The audience cheered as Dianne and Maisie both slid into the splits and into their custard pies. Whilst Amber and Kym gave them both a custard pie sandwich in the face. Maisie was already caked in gunge so the pies make little difference to her. But Dianne gasped as she received her first pies of the night and it caked her dyed red hair. “More has gone up my tuppence” joked Maisie.
“Nearly as much as is up mine” shouted the also naked and gunge covered Rosamund Pike from the side of the stage. “But yours has more room” joked Maisie. “You lot are disgusting said the also naked Rachel Burden who had somehow been talked into a challenge involving Ruxandra Porojnicu and herself against Rosamund, Thandie Newton and Katie Thistleton. “Here are the skates” said Rosamund giving Rachel a pair of roller skates as one of Rachel’s challenges was to skate across the stage.
Dianne got up and removed the pies from her face before picking up two pies and giving Kym a pie sandwich of her own. Kym laughed as the pies fell off her face and picked up another one and stuck it on Dianne’s head. “No more pies” said Amber and received a triple pie in the face from the other 3 ladies messing her up even more.
“They are degrading themselves and just getting ridiculously messy” Rachel said in a catty manner. “Yes they are very stupid” said Ruxandra. “A couple of them are already ridiculously messy and the other two will be soon, But hell we can talk” said Thandie as she looked at her gunge covered naked body and laughed with Katie.
Amber wiping the pie from her face and barely able to see the auto-cue as she was so covered with gunge said “Please welcome the host and judge of our baking challenge Nadia Sawalha. Nadia bounced on in a strapless bikini with a big smile on her face clearly looking to have some fun.
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“Hiya Nadia, you have certainly entered into the spirit of the show” said Amber. “Look I know what is going to happen and I’m up for it and these two are too” joked Nadia pushing up her ample bust. “Do you think that top will stay up?” joked Kym. “Not if I can help it” said Nadia pulling it down to give a quick flash of her sumptuous breasts. “I may be 55 years old but Trinny Woodall, Fiona Bruce, Charlie Dimmock and Una Healy are all a similar age and are up for flashing the flesh and my boobs are better than any of theirs”. A topless Fiona Bruce ran from the cage and gave Nadia a custard pie in the face and said “Cheeky”. A nude Trinny Woodall ran over and looked down at her own smaller breasts and then pulled Nadia’s bikini top down and said “Fair enough” and gave Nadia a custard pie on her boobs. A topless Charlie Dimmock ran over her huge boobs bouncing up and down. Nadia and Charlie compared boobs and bellies and gave each other a custard pie on their boobs and rubbed them together. A naked Una Healy sploshed over and gave Nadia a custard pie in the face saying “I’m only 38, my band mates have told you to say that I bet”. “Course they have and have more respect for your elders” said Nadia as Fiona, Trinny and Charlie all ran back on and Una got 4 custard pies on her head and face.
Fiona, Trinny and Charlie lead Una off as they left the stage to applause. Nadia wiped her eyes and said “Are we ready to play” and the remaining girls yelled “Yes”.
An opening title for a show called Wet and Slurry Cook which was then crossed out to read Wet and Sticky Cock and the girls moved to two tables containing lots of goodies in front of a kitchen backdrop. “Welcome to Wet and Slurry Cook” said Nadia and got hit by a bucket of water and a bucket of wet mud from the Compost Corner sketch. Her bikini top was still around her stomach and she discarded it completely. “Or should that be Wet and Sticky Cock” she added hardly able to stop laughing and got hit with another bucket of water and a bucket of honey.
“Please welcome Maisie Smith and Dianne Buswell” Nadia said as Dianne danced on and Maisie sploshed on still in her heels. “Welcome to the show ladies. Are you looking forward to it?” she added. “I’ve always wanted to be on a Wet and Sticky Cock” said Maisie and got hit with a bucket of water and a bucket of honey. “She is disgusting” Rachel said to Ruxandra. “Actually she is the funniest girl on here, she is only 18 and plays off being stupid but she is a lovely young lady and is game for extra gungings to help raise more money” an angry Katie replied to them.
“We are you going to make a cake each” said Maisie and stood behind one table and Dianne behind the other. “Do exactly what I do” said Dianne and poured a bag of flour into a large bowl, she added about a dozen already broken eggs as Maisie did likewise. “I’ll take over” said Maisie. “Add two pints of milk, no sorry one pint of milk and pour the other over your boobs” she added. Dianne laughing did so and screamed as the cold milk hit her bikini top. “I’m now taking off my bikini top. Oh I’m naked what am I like give myself a pint of milk over the head” said Maisie and emptied the milk over her head. Dianne realising she had been set up superbly by Maisie burst out laughing and gamely took her bikini top off to lots of wolf whistles and shuddered as she poured a cold pint of milk over her already messy red hair and it cascaded onto her now exposed impressive breasts.
“I’ll take over now” said Dianne. “Add a couple of cartons of cream, some melted butter and a large helping of cooking oil” she added which they both did. “And more flour” said Maisie throwing the rest of the flour up in the air. “We’ve got nothing to stir the mixture with” said Maisie. “Use your head and look for a spoon” said Nadia. “Great idea” said Maisie and stuck her head in the bowl and began to mix the concoction up with her head. She then stood up with the bowl on her head and all the mixture running down her body. The audience roared with laughter. “You do the same Dianne” Maisie ordered.
Dianne hardly able to stand up due to laughing so much bravely stuck her head in her bowl and mixed all her mixture about before standing up with the bowl on her head and the mixture running down her body. “The mixture needs to be split” Dianne said and both girls did the splits with the bowl on their heads. They got up and Dianne took the bowl off her head to reveal her hair was now totally destroyed in a mess of flour and stuff. “My bowl is stuck” said Maisie trying to get hers off her head. Nadia and Dianne tried to pull it off but both fell onto the floor as the audience cheered.
“She is a total idiot” Ruxandra said to Rachel. “For fucks sake, she could take it off if she wanted to. She is only joking or at least I think she is” said Thandie. “Do you think she really has got it stuck?” Thandie added turning to Rosamund. “If anyone could manage to do that then she would” said a giggling Rosamund.
“We now assume that the cakes are being cooked and are now ready to fill and ice” said Maisie. “What cakes?” said Nadia trying to maintain some composure in the mayhem. “We’ll improve” said Maisie and bought Amber and Kym on. “Lie on the tables and pretend to be our cakes” she added. Amber and Kym sportingly climbed onto the respective tables.
“All cakes need a nice cream filling” said Dianne as she and Maisie both fetched a bucket of thick cream and began to put handfuls onto Amber and Kym. Both their heads were covered as were Amber’s bare boobs. Dianne stuck a lot inside Kym’s sports bra. “You forgot to take the wrapper off” said Maisie. “Good thinking” said Dianne and whipped Kym’s sports bra over her boobs exposing Kym’s surgically enhanced chest. Her boobs were sat bolt upright. “These definitely need more cream. Give us a hand Maisie” said Dianne. Kym was in hysterics as Maisie and Dianne piled handfuls of cream onto her boobs and rubbed it in.
Working down both bodies Maisie stuck a big handful of cream into Amber’s fanny and Dianne stuck a load down Kym’s cycle shorts. “We need more cream” said Maisie and both her and Amber emptied a bucket of cream foam over Amber and Kym. “And some jam” said Dianne and a bucket of jam went over Kym and Amber. “I’m not sure if it looks right?” said Dianne. “Let’s swap places and see for ourselves” said Maisie as Kym and Amber got off the table and Maisie and Dianne got on in their places.
“It needs a custard filling” said Kym. “I agree” said Amber and they both emptied a bucket of custard over Maisie and Dianne. “Needs a sponge topping” Amber said and both picked up a bucket of porridge with a sponge in it and began to sponge porridge all over Maisie and Dianne. Kym ensured a lot went into Dianne’s bikini briefs which made Dianne kick her legs out as the porridge hit her sensitive bits.
“Time is up on Wet and Slurry Cook” shouted Nadia and got hit with another bucket of Water and Mud with such force it took her breath away. “Wet and Sticky Cock” all the other girls yelled and each was hit with a bucket of water and a bucket of honey. Suddenly Rosamund ran on and said “We need to ice the cake” and ushered Maisie off her table. Maisie still with the bowl on her head ceded her spot. “You need a toping” said Nadia and emptied a bucket of wet icing sugar all over Rosamund and then the leftovers onto Dianne. Amber picked up an icing cone and covered Rosamund’s fanny with it’s contents pushing a load inside. “Fill the bucket” Thandie shouted over.
Rosamund dripping with icing sugar shouted “Ruxandra please come and kiss me on the lips as part of the challenge”. Ruxandra slowly walked over and came around to Rosamund’s face and went to kiss her on the lips. Rosamund barely able to see through all the icing said “Not those lips and pointed to her icing covered vagina” “I not kiss there” Ruxandra said. “Well you’ll effectively forfeit the challenge” shouted over Katie. Ruxandra looked over at Rachel who had now got her roller skates fully laced up who signaled for her to do it.
Reluctantly she walked around and began to pucker up but Amber “accidentally” pressed down on Rosamund’s tensed stomach forcing a load of icing right into Ruxandra’s face. Ruxandra screamed as Rosamund and Amber fist bumped. “Yoga and pelvic muscle exercises finally came in useful” said Rosamund as the girls roared with laughter as Ruxandra desperately tried to clean her face and was spitting icing out into a bucket.
“I guess we’d like to see the completed cake” said Nadia and pointed over to a giant 6 ft high by 3 ft wide custard pie being wheeled on at about 45 degrees on an industrial power lift. Suddenly Thandie and Katie stood Rachel up and gave her a mighty shove forward. She went careering across the studio floor past the other girls like Bambi on Ice and went face first into the giant custard pie. She hit it with such force she knocked the pie forward and then both slowly fell backwards with the pie on top of her.
Ruxandra rushed over the lift the cardboard pie backing off a screaming Rachel and tried to help her up but with Rachel being on skates she predictably pulled Ruxandra on top of her and both rolled around in the pie cream trying to get up and screaming at an hysterical Rosamund, Thandie and Katie .
“Well I guess that’s it from Wet and Slurry Cook” said Nadia and got hit with another bucket of water but this time a bucket of honey. “You mean Wet and Sticky Cock” Maisie (still with bowl on her head), Dianne, Amber, Kym and Rosamund shouted and got hit with a torrent of buckets of water and wet mud.
Maisie finally taking the bowl off her head and Amber stepped forward “Please thank Nadia Sawalha showing that you can be fun and body confident at any age” said Amber. “The beautiful, talented and very game Dianne Buswell” said Maisie. “And the most glamorous granny we’ve ever known the amazing Kym Marsh” added Amber. Nadia, Dianne and Kym took a bow and walked over to the cage. “Plus the incredible Rosamund Pike” said Maisie.
“Please also give a huge cheer to the sultry and lovely Amber Gill and incomparable Maisie Smith. These two girls have taken everything off and everything we have thrown at them. But they keep coming back for more or with more naughty but hilarious ideas” said a returning Chris Tarrant. “You’ll be pleased to know the total is now ££,397,929” he added as Maisie, Amber and Rosamund pushed their gunge covered breasts into him and hugged him.
“You are making an old man very happy and very old” Chris joked as he moved forward from the naughty ladies. “Join us in Part 10 when we have the return of Flanderella as we delve into the Phantom’s private life. A guest from the original run of Tiswas wants a rematch with the Phantom too. Also as the crazy challenges continue, more Tiswas Torture Wheel. Top names will be revealing a lot more when we reach £3.5 million. We have a musical number from Gwen Stefani and friends, a mystery baby shower, more celebrity surprises and the Greatest Show on Legs all on Tiswas/OTT Charity Revival. That was exhausting” he added as he signed off and turned back to congratulate the girls.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story may contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature.
I’ve been wanting to write a fun story about the Strictly Female Professional Dancers for a while. I couldn’t decide who to use so can you help me choose which girl or couple of girls will primarily get messy. As Dianne has just appeared in the Tiswas/OTT story I’m excluding her from this vote and adding Oti’s big sister and Strictly judge Motsi in her place.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.The girls above from left to right are Lyuba Mushtuk, Karen Hauer, Oti Mabusse, Katya Jones, Nadiya Bychkova, Amy Dowden, Dianne Buswell (ineligible), Nancy Xu and Janette Manrara
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Motsi Mabuse
Please feel free to choose one or two girls to get messy. The two girls with the most votes will face some fun at the other girls hands in a social setting I’ve yet to decide on.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
She was sat on what felt like an ice cold metal seat that she guessed had been deliberately made slightly too small as her legs bend up towards her chest as she struggled to keep her bare feet on the footrest. She was wearing a pair of black shorts that in her opinion were closer to being hotpants and a blue t-shirt that again seemed to have been made just a size too small. Currently she couldn’t see much as a screen was infront of her. She could see that there was a railtrack leading downwards away from her seat, she didn’t like to think where it was leading to. Suddenly the murmurings of the studio audience started to die down, something was obviously about to happen. She was already regretting agreeing to take part in this vote.
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“Good evening! I’m delighted to welcome you to an extra-special charity episode of ‘Get Your Own Back’. We’ve got four beautiful celebrity guests, all of whom deserve credit for giving their time and risking their dignity in the name of good causes.”
After the title sequence had run and the voiceover had played, the camera panned round the studio to reveal an enthusiastic audience, and finally stopped showing Laura Whitmore stood in front of the infamous Gunk Dunk. It was a multicoloured mess with the words ‘Thank you for voting’ scrawled across the surface in some sort of cream.
“You’ve been voting in your thousands for who you want to see in this slop, and we have a winner, or should that be loser?!” Laura turned to wink at another camera. “First up it’s time to welcome two of our runners up, here are Sam Quek and Hayley Atwell!”
The audience applauded as the two women walked out wearing the GYOB uniform of yellow t-shirts and black shorts, they had both been afforded the dignity of trainers.
“Hello ladies, you must be delighted to have avoided this?” Laura said while pointing to the gunge.
“I think I can answer for both of us when I say yes, extremely.” Sam replied, Hayley nodded enthusiastically.
“Well, don’t get too comfortable, we might have a surprise for one of you, but before we get to that we need to reveal who’s going to be receiving our dunking. We know it’s going to be either Emma Stone or Scarlett Johansson. Please raise the screen and reveal our victim!”
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She gulped as the screen began to rise, as it lifted clear, there were rapturous cheers and applause. She had to shield her eyes from the bright studio lights at first, much to the hilarity of the audience, as her eyes adjusted she looked down and got her first glimpse of her fate. Looming below her was an awful mess of greens, yellows, reds and purples below her. She tried to smile, but it probably came out as more of a grimace.
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“Ladies and Gentlemen, please give it up for Scarlett Johansson!”
The audience went wild again as they admired the American actress perched in her precarious position above the gunge. Despite trying to hide her emotions, everyone could see she looked terrified with the position she was in. The camera focused in on her trying to muster a smile but clinging onto the underside of her seat. The shot switched back to Laura.
“Scarlett, how wonderful it is to have you here tonight, or specifically there tonight! Would you give everyone a wave and let us know how you’re feeling?”
Scarlett shakily let go of her seat and managed one of the least convincing waves in TV history. “Oh, I feel amazing” she said in the most sarcastic tone. “Thank you to everyone who voted it’s for a great cause, but I wish you could have voted for one of those.”
“Speaking of votes, Scarlett you managed 37%, Sam 23%, Emma got 21% and Hayley just 19%, so I’m happy to say it wasn’t particularly close and you’re fully deserving of a dunking!”
Scarlett just sighed “Thank you Laura. Glad to be of service.”
“Don’t be so down, I think you might even enjoy the next part of the show, you’ll certainly have a good view. Please everyone welcome Emma Stone as we play a game to earn a bit more money for charity and see who gets to dunk Scarlett!”
The audience cheered as Emma ran on waving obviously happy to be clear of Scarlett’s position.
“OK girls, here we have an obstacle course. All you have to do is take a ball from this end and put it in your basket. We’ll give £1,000 to charity for every ball you manage, the winner gets to pull the lever to gunge Scarlett, the loser gets their own nasty surprise. You’ll set off based on your voting positions, so Hayley you’ll get a head start. One piece of advice, watch out for the water!”
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Laura was right, she was glad to be avoiding this. She watched as the three women did their best to keep their dignity. Hayley had set off at a steady pace, determined to keep her lead, Emma set off second and was making good progress climbing over inflatable obstacles, about halfway down the course was a thinner section with pools either side. That must have been what Laura meant about the water. By the time Sam was allowed to set off Hayley had almost finished her first run. She set off at quite the pace and it looked like the former athlete would easily overhaul the two actresses.
However, on her second lap Sam was obviously going too fast and slipped on the balance section, falling in the water with an almighty splash. She couldn’t help but smile as she watched Sam flail around trying to recover. It was too late though, the whole obstacle course clearly became impossible and the second ball was all she had managed when time ran out.
She watched as a dripping wet Sam and much happier Emma and Hayley made their way over to Laura.
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“A brilliant game! Emma and Hayley both got 4 so they’re our winners, Sam’s miserable 2 gets us an extra £10,000 for charity, but also earns her a little forfeit. It might even warm her up a bit.”
Sam was stood with her arms wrapped around her body, which her uniform was now clinging to as well. She watched as a perspex box, big enough for one person to stand up in was revealed. Above it was suspended a yellowish-green liquid. She hesitantly opened the door and got in and managed a nervous look up.
Without warning the torrent of gunge was released and Sam let out a little scream, a dome formed over her head as the flow continued, by the time it had finished Sam was left standing with the yellow gunge clinging to her long dark hair. She parted her hair like slimy shower curtains and was able to give everyone a smile and a sticky thumbs up.
“Thank you Sam, you’ve been a great sport, and take some solace that what is about to happen to Scarlett will be worse. And it’s to Scarlett our attention will turn now.”
Once again the camera panned over to Scarlett, sitting just as uncomfortably as before, but now looking even more nervous as her fate was drawing nearer.
“This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the country has been voting all week to see this happen, Emma and Hayley if you’d go and stand by the lever, and pull it on the count of 3.”
“3…”
Scarlett started to hunch over in the vain hope that would protect her.
“…2…”
Emma and Hayley were clearly enjoying watching their fellow actress squirm, both of them gripping the lever.
“…1…”
Scarlett braced for the worst.
“GUN…. Actually, something’s wrong with the seating arrangement here”
Scarlett looked up with hope that she might be reprieved and one of the others might take her place. The other 2 actresses looked nervous for the first time on the show.
“Audience, what do we do?”
CRANK HER UP!
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Her brief moment of hope was extinguished as she looked round in horror as she was pulled backwards, even higher than she already was, the pool looked noticeably smaller now, she could see Emma and Hayley celebrating. She reached the top with a thud, but managed to stay on the seat.
“GUNGE HER!”
She watched as they took great delight in pulling the lever, then put her hands on her face. Pyrotechnics going off around her made her jump and look around as she began her descent…
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Scarlett began her run down the track as different colours of gunge were dropped on her, you could just about hear the small shrieks. She reached the end and was propelled forwards into the slop. Her knees were the first part of her to make contact with the gloop, but the rest of her quickly followed as she was completely submerged. A couple of seconds went by before she was able to resurface taking in a big breath of air. She looked completely shocked, which was about the only thing recognisable about the once glamorous actress. She was now slathered in a mix of colours. There were drips of gunge running very slowly down her face and clinging to her hair. She reached up to try to wipe her eyes clean…
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She’d not been looking forward to the drop, but it had been even worse than she’d imagined, the gunge that had been dropped on her was awful, but being plunged into this cold sticky mess was much worse. After landing she took a second to find her feet and get her head clear of the slime. She tried to wipe her eyes, but found it was difficult to remove the thick mess. When she did eventually get them clear enough to see she got a brief glimpse of her rivals laughing and celebrating before her world was turned green from more gunge being dropped on her from above.
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“Wow, what a gungeing!” Said Laura. “Scarlett, have you ever considered renaming yourself to ‘Scarlett-and-all-the-other-colours-mixed-together-and-stuck-in-my-hair’?”
The look on her face suggested this was not something she’d considered.
“Everyone, give a big thank you to Scarlett, she didn’t have to do this and we’ve raised loads of money for charity. Scarlett Johansson everybody!”
As the audience cheered one last lot of gunge was poured down on her from above, but she managed a wave and smile.
“OK, that’s about it from us, make sure to check your social media as we want the whole world to see this and up our donations. We’ll leave you with a replay of the moment”
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She looked up to see her dunking for the first time, aware that she probably would be shown this clip many times in her future. The studio lights dimmed and she was left sat in the darkness in the cold slop. She hoped someone would be along to help her out soon as she could feel the gunge begin to seep through her clothes.
This story is purely a work of fiction. The story does NOT describe real events and the characters are fictional. Any resemblance to real events or persons is coincidence. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
/Once again the stage is shrouded in the dark when a musical theme of the show starts to play, after that lights come on, showing the host, Sarah Crane, in her typical red dress, looking elegant and glamour as ever/
Sarah: Hello Ladies and Gentleman and welcome to the second episode of the “Queen of the Wolfs pack”, the only show, where “Survival of the fittest” and “End justify the means” are not just empty words but the core of the game. Today another two self-proclaimed queens of the food chain will compete for your affection. But who will join our next week winner Ash in the semi-finals and who will eat the humble pie? Well, it is all up to you. Let’s meet our today contestants. First we have Kimberley ” KrazyKim” Martins, 21 years old youtuber and self-proclaimed “Princess of Pranks”.
Voicover: According to her channel, KrazyKim´s life goal is to have a good laugh at the expense of the stooges and stogettes /the video shows Kim sneaking behind a good looking raven-haired girl walking up the street and then suddenly showing a pie in her face/. She believes that world is her playground, and she is entitled to do everything she wants as long as there are new subscribers to her channel /the video resumes with the girl trying to wipe off cream from her face, looking to be completely taken aback. Unbeknownst to her, Kim sneaks up on her and gives her a pie sandwich this time/. Of course she loves to show contrast between common stooges and exquisite artist as herself /the video returns for the last time, now showing Kim taking a selfie in the victory pose with the completely trashed and disbelieving girl in the background/.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Kim
Sarah: Please give a heart welcome to this renowned internet celebrity and welcome Kim / Kim enters the stage, heavily made-up, her lips sporting bright pink lipstick and her blonde hair carefully styled, before joining Sarah, she stops by camera, doing a few poses/.
Kim: I love you, I love you all.
Sarah: Eh, hi Kim. Could you please pay some attention to me?
Kim: Of course granny!
Sarah: WHAT? How dare you! I am not much older than you.
Kim: Yeah, but you are so comically old-fashioned with this dress of yours. And working on the so-old fashioned and mainstream medium as cable-tv, it is just funny.
Sarah: Yeah I get it; you think you are so unconventional and modern with yours videos.
Kim: But of course, I am renewing the old concepts of physical comedy with my little artsy touch.
Sarah: For what I saw in the introduction video, it looked more like an assault to me. I am little surprised, that you are not in the prison yet.
Kim: Ah yes, some of the stooges in my videos are as grumpy as you, but fortunately I have really good lawyers at my side.
Sarah: Hah, isn´t it a little mainstream to hide behind the army of lawyers?
Kim: Not at all, it is just reasonable, after all, I can afford them, every new prank video brings new subscribers and it means more money for me.
Sarah: Hmm. And let me ask one last question. Did you ever end up on the receiving side of some prank? Did you ever get a pie in the face or something like that?
Kim: Of course not. I am just too special to be treated like that. My fans would surely hate it.
Sarah: I wouldn´t be so sure, we will see at the end of the show. Anyway, let´s meet your opponent. Our second competitor is Angela Lanies, she is 32 and currently is working as the University head librarian.
Voiceover: It may seem, that all librarians are timid and meek, but Angela rules her little kingdom with iron fist, breaking the spirit of everyone who dares to defy her /video shows Angela sternly and disapprovingly looking at a younger librarian, who arrived at work in the bright red blouse, the she takes the scissors cut off the red garment and orders her to her clothes/. She perceives the visitors of the library as pests and acts accordingly to it, unless they are important and influential /the next part of the video shows Angela completely ignoring some helplessly looking students, and after one of them desperately tries to ask for help, she orders them out of library, on the other side she is all smiles and polite to an older man in the suit, clearly a professor, who asks her something/. It would seem, that she is dedicated to her work, but it isn´t the case, she is just smart enough to work around the system and get the work done by her subordinates /the final segment shows the staff of library working hard, pushing some heavy trolleys with the books and returning them to the shelves, while Angela is seen browsing through her Instagram in her office, it seems that on the floor some of the library books are stored in rather poor conditions/.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.Angela
Sarah: Please welcome Angela /black haired Angela enters the stage wearing conservative looking blouse, round glasses around her face/.
Angela: Good evening miss Crane.
Sarah: Well you seem to be really calm.
Angela: Of course, it is all matter of the discipline. Speaking of which, if you have some discipline and dare to say taste, you would not be dressed up like harlot.
Sarah: What?! Why everyone tonight seem to have problem with my dress. I do not deserve to be treated like that by some wannabe Trunchbull, who also happen to be professional butt kisser and slob.
Angela: Listen young lady, I think you should apologize to me swiftly.
Sarah: Sod off, I am not some poor library gray mouse to be scared of you. And who do you called young lady, you entitled witch, I am roughly same age as you.
Kim: Oh, this is great, now the two grannies will start to argue, who is older, this is so funny, ha.
Angela: You would not be laughing, after I win the vote and teach you some discipline.
Kim: Ha, you are a perfect prudent stooge. The video of yours dishevelment will be the crown jewel of my channel.
Sarah:/Trying to regain her composure/ Ok, and this leads to you, our dear viewers. Who will advance to the semi-finals and who will become a laughing stock? One thing is certain; I will enjoy the final part, regardless of the result. So join us during the update show, where the current leader will receive a small prize and current loser will receive a chance to give a little speech in order to change her bad fate. And remember, you are voting for person, who you want to advance to the next round. In other words for person you find more insolent, headstrong and vicious and who in your opinion has a chance to become Queen of the Wolfs pack.
/The vote will close on 6th may and the update will be up next week hopefully. Multi-voting is permitted on base of one vote per day. If you have any suggestions, please post them in the comments/
Author’s note – this story is running alongside The Race. It is my intention that the characters from these stories will be brought together with some twists and turns along the way. Stay tuned for the second part of both stories later this week.
James and Tilly had been together for quite some time now, they lived with their friend Martin. In fact it was Martin that brought them together. They had one more spare room which they eventually managed to rent out to Veronica, she was a contract worker, who was doing a short piece of work in the local area.
Veronica, 24. had settled in well, and was getting on with her three new housemates. Her room backed onto Martin’s and she could occasionally here his unusual choices in music blasting out.
Martin was very technically minded and a bit of an IT expert, which Veronica had become extremely grateful for as she tried to get her head around the new IT kit her employer had provided her with.
It was one evening when Martin was in his room when Veronica knocked on his door.
“Yeh, come in,” Martin shouted, pausing what he was watching.
Veronica walked in, she had her laptop with her which she wanted Martin to do some updates on for her.
As he played around with the laptop, Veronica noticed the paused screen on the video Martin had been watching.
“If you don’t me asking”, she said cautiously, “what is it you are watching?”
Martin looked up.
“What? That? It’s a show from the 1990s, I’m not sure if you’d be old enough to remember it. It was called Noel’s House Party”.
“Oh, right, no I don’t think of heard of it. What was so good about it?”
Martin finished the last thing he needed to do on Veronica’s laptop before handing it back to her. He then responded to her question.
“It was just proper Saturday night telly”, he said, “good old fashioned entertainment. They don’t make it like that anymore, there’s loads of episodes online and more keep getting uploaded”.
Veronica looked again at the screen and nodded. She thanked Martin for sorting her laptop, and headed back to her room. In the background she could hear the faint noise of what Martin was continuing to watch.
Veronica hadn’t got much else to do so she decided to take Martin’s advice and check out Noel’s House Party.
Veronica watched an episode, followed by a few further clips on YouTube. In total she must’ve spent an hour and a half looking at content from the show. It was fair to say she wasn’t that impressed. She shut the laptop down and decided it was time to go to bed.
It was a couple of days before Martin saw Veronica again.
“What did you think?” Martin asked.
“Of what?”
“Of House Party. Did you enjoy it?”
“Oh no it wasn’t really my thing, sorry, I guess it was of it’s time though?”
Martin nodded, but did look a little disappointed that his recommendation hadn’t gone down too well. The pair continued chatting in the kitchen for a little while longer. The conversation stayed on TV and turned to other shows from their respective teenage years.
It was at this point that Martin realised that perhaps they had a little more in common than he first thought. After they had both gone back to their rooms, Martin found a link to one of his favourite moments from NHP and sent it to Veronica.
The message read “try this one” and there was a link to a clip called “noel’s house party bushiest woman gunged”.
Veronica didn’t pick her phone up straight away but eventually saw she had a message from her house mate. She looked at it, puzzled at first, but then decided to watch the clip. She even managed to watch it twice, but still wasn’t that impressed, she just didn’t get it.
A couple of days passed and the next time Veronica saw Martin was on Saturday morning when the pair were in the kitchen. They exchanged what were initially a couple of awkward glances before Veronica instigated the conversation.
“Any plans this weekend?” she asked.
“Not really”, said Martin, “what about you?”
“Nothing much either”, she replied.
The conversation still felt awkward, as if there was an elephant in the room. Veronica, a pretty brunette with long flowing hair, could sense it, and decided to break the taboo.
“I watched that video you sent me”, she said quietly.
“Oh. Really? What did you think?”
“Well, I wasn’t that impressed to be honest, I don’t know why you would find it so funny. I guess it was of it’s time though right?”
“Yeh”, said Martin, smiling, “everyone was getting gunged in the 90s!”
Veronica picked up her coffee and started to head out, but Martin stopped her by adding.
“It’s making a comeback now you know. Gunge. Have you seen that new Saturday morning show?”
“Isn’t it for kids?”
“Yeh, but, anyone can enjoy it, right?”
“Whatever floats your boat!”, said Veronica, walking away.
She headed back to her room and looked at the time. It was 10.40, perhaps she could just catch the end of that kids show, then she could tell Martin just how rubbish it is, and how silly he is for watching it.
Veronica flicked her TV on, she was just in time for the results of the gunge vote. The results were announced and she sat back and watched as Radio 1 DJ Katie Thistleton was “super slimed”. After the show had finished, she turned the TV off and decided to go for a walk. All the while she out, she found herself thinking about Katie, and her gunging. Veronica couldn’t quite come to terms with why she just kept thinking about it. She was very confused.
Still in a bit of a daydream, she got back to the house, just as Martin was outside washing his car.
“Hey”, she said, “lovely weather isn’t it?”
Martin nodded. “You been anywhere nice?”
“Just for a walk along the river. Trying to clear my head.”
“Why? What’s up?”
“I dunno, I’m just a bit confused, I watched that show you told me about and now I can’t stop thinking about it.”
Martin laughed. “Great gunging wasn’t it?”
Veronica didn’t know what to say. She shrugged her shoulders and went to make her way inside.
Martin stopped her. “Hey, wait there”, he called out.
Veronica turned round, when suddenly, before she had time to react, Martin threw the contents of his bucket of water straight at the pretty brunette.
Veronica stood there, dripping wet, and in a mild state of shock. The water wasn’t that cold, but she just hadn’t been expecting it. Her face and hair were completely soaked.
After a few seconds, she started to laugh. She picked up the hose pipe and sprayed Martin with it. The pair of them couldn’t contain their laughter. Tilly came outside to see what all the noise was about and saw the two of them stood there soaking.
Once things had all calmed down, Tilly and Veronica were sat inside havng a coffee together.
“What was all that about earlier?”
“I don’t know”, Veronica said, “but I think I want to find out more.”
Author’s note – this story is running alongside The Discovery. It is my intention that the characters from these stories will be brought together with some twists and turns along the way. Stay tuned for the second part of both stories later this week.
Millie and Lacey, both 20, had been catching up, they were both from the same town but now went to different universities so any opportunity for them to get together was precious.
They would both be home for the next couple of weeks for the Easter holidays so wanted to make the most of the time. As they sat chatting in a local bar, planning a couple of girly nights out, their friend Ed walked in.
Ed smiled and waved at the girls, who did the same. They carried on their conversation until Ed walked over.
“Afternoon ladies”, he said cheekily, “how are you both doing?”
Both girls responded, whilst they got on with Ed, they were keen for him to move on as quickly as possible, and get back to their plans. Besides there had always been something a little awkward about him, particularly with Millie, who he had a bit of a thing for for quite some time now.
Eventually Ed moved on and the girls were able to enjoy their afternoon, drinking cocktails and making plans for the next two weeks. In the corner of Lacey’s eye, she spotted one of the bar staff putting a poster up.
“What’s this for?” Lacey asked.
The barmaid replied, “it’s our latest charity fundraiser. All you have to do is upload a video of someone getting a pie in the face, and make a £5 donation to the local hospice”.
The barmaid walked off and Millie and Lacey started giggling.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” said Lacey.
Millie nodded.
“Right”, said Lacey, “how about we make this a bit more interesting?”
“How do you mean?”
“First to pie Ed in the face wins, loser faces a forfeit!”
Millie looked at Lacey, “what kind of forfeit?”
“I guess it’d have to be a messy one?”
“Ok, I’m game, we’ve got two weeks to pie Ed”, confirmed Millie, “winner gets to cover the loser in custard”.
“Deal!”
The topic of conversation moved on and the two girls enjoyed the rest of their afternoon. As they both went their separate ways, they each began to plan how they could set something up to win their little bet.
Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.This story will contain scenes of nudity and/or a sexual nature.
“Welcome to Part 10 of Tiswas/OTT Charity Revival” said Chris Tarrant. ” After the anarchy of the baking slot in the last part we need to get the rest of the studio cleaned up so I’ve been asked to fill some time with the Tiswas Torture Wheel whereby a person is strapped onto and spun whilst getting hosed with recycled gunge from earlier in the evening. Eat your heart out Greta Thunberg. The invitation to join us on Totty the new series coming soon presented by Maisie Smith, Amber Gill and Katie Thistleton will be sent to you when you turn 18 next year” he added.
The naked and gunge covered but still in their high heels Maisie and Amber pushed on the Tiswas Torture Wheel. “Come and join us and you too Katie ” said Chris beckoning an also naked and gunge covered Katie Thistleton to join them from the cage. “I hear you have some exciting news about the first episode of Totty?” said Chris. “Yes first there was Tiswas, then there was OTT so combine them together with 3 fun loving girls and you get some late night fun with Totty” said Katie. “Yes I can announce that joining us on the first episode will be former X-Factor stars Ella Henderson, Lauren Platt and Cher Lloyd” said Amber. “I’ll be hosting a new section called “Maisie I’m Amazed” whereby people try to amaze me” said Maisie. “You’ve got it right” said Chris joking. “What am I like” said Maisie. “Here have a custard pie to celebrate” Chris added and stuck yet another pie in Maisie’s face. “Also our special guest on week one will be Dani Dyer” said Katie. “A former Love Island winner and a cockney girl” sounds familiar said Chris looking at Amber and Maisie. “Just to let people know it won’t go as far as this show but we will likely be in bikinis and a boob or two might fall out along the way” teased Amber.
“As a Executive Producer on this show. I’m delighted to bring on my other Co-Producer’s Rosamund Pike and Thandie Newton” said Chris as the also naked and gunge covered Rosamund and Thandie sploshed over from the cage. “You two have a lot to answer for. Corrupting these innocent young girls” joked Chris as Maisie, Amber and Katie all did innocent little faces. “Us naughty never” said Thandie as Rosamund pushed her breasts into Thandie’s face. “Don’t know what you are talking about” added Rosamund as Thandie pulled faces with her vagina. “I cannot believe you two” said Chris totally breaking down with laughter. “Well we just came on here and decided to be naughty” said Thandie. “Understatement of the century” said Chris. “Everyone saw us as these posh actress types but we like to have fun as much as Maisie and Amber and after we had some fun with Katie she came along for the ride” Rosamund said. “They took my knickers and my dignity the bitches but I love them” said Katie walking up to Rosamund and Thandie and giving them a pie in the face each.
“What have we done to you” said Thandie giving Katie a pie back in the face. “Nothing at all” added Rosamund and stuck a pie on Katie’s already matted muff and started rubbing it in. “I hear that you’ll be doing a guest feature every week?” said Chris to Rosamund and Thandie. “Yes we’ll be interviewing and having a bit of fun with one of our Hollywood friends or an up for fun more mature lady” said Thandie. “Yes it might be a chat over coffee or in a hot tub but it will be fun and there might be mess and undress” teased Rosamund. “If any part of Totty will get really naughty this will be it” added Thandie suggestively sucking her finger. “I can exclusively announce that our first guest will be Liz Hurley” said Rosamund. “A posh English Actress, who looks amazing for 54 years old, loves to post bikini selfies and has a naughty sense of humour. Our kind of girl” said Thandie. “I hear that we have a video link up with Liz” Chris said.
A bikini wearing Liz was shown on the screen.
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“Hi Liz” said Chris. “Hello everyone, look at the ******* state of you lot” replied a laughing Liz. “I would have really loved to be there and join in the fun. But it will be great to have some fun with Rosamund and Thandie in a hot tub I think. I dread to think what they will fill it with. Definitely no peeing in it Newton ( as she referenced Thandie’s earlier antics on Tiswas/OTT revival” she added. “Don’t worry Hurley that was a one off” replied Thandie. “Will you be wearing that bikini, as you look amazing” said Rosamund. “Probably this one unless I can find a skimpier one. I’ll be wearing one at the start. What I’ll have on at the end, who knows” teased Liz winking at the camera. Suddenly Liz was hit with a bucket of cold water. She screamed and then looked up laughing. “Just getting some practice in” she joked as she waved and signed off.
“That’s a thought” said Katie and suddenly all five girls picked up pies and threw them at each other as Chris tried to duck out of the way. Amber coped for about 3 pies as she had escaped so far on this segment. “Who do you think should go on the Torture Wheel?” Chris asked her. “How about Game, set and match to Johanna Konta” said Amber.
The gunge covered and swimsuit wearing Johanna Konta bravely stepped forward from the cage and was strapped onto the wheel by Maisie and Amber. The Wheel lifted up 90 degrees and the hose and tank of recycled gunge was wheeled on by the Phantom who also gave Johanna a pie in the face. “Who do you want to spin the wheel for you?” Chris asked Johanna. “Can I have Charlie Dimmock. She’s a big strong country girl and those massive tits will bounce when she spins it” joked Johanna. A topless Charlie ran on to cheers. “Remember we hit £3.5 million and the ginger muff comes out” she joked. “We are getting ever closer. Tallulah Riley and several Saturdays have also agreed to bare all when we reach that figure” said Chris waving to a messy, topless and bikini bottom wearing Tallulah Riley in the cage.
Suddenly the Saturdays walked back on all were messy, topless in just bikini bottoms or shorts bar Una who had gone fully naked a few parts earlier. They turned their backs to the camera and to the tune of Just Can’t Get Enough wiggled and flashed their bums singing “If you raise enough, you’ll soon all see our muffs” as they giggled away. “Your tits look huge Rochelle” Thandie said. “Well I’m delighted to announce I’m pregnant again and I’m having a boy” said Rochelle. Everyone congratulated her. “Should you be on here?” said Chris. “As long as I don’t have to go on the torture wheel or get propelled across the studio on Roller Skates like Rachel Burden. I’ll be fine. Nothing to say I can’t get even messier” joked Rochelle as the still fuming naked and gunge covered Rachel Burden looked angrily on from the side of the set.
“We’ll be holding a fun baby shower for her later on” added Una. “I’m still here” shouted Johanna Konta upside down on the wheel. “Oh sorry” said Chris. “Who do you want to hose you down?” he asked. “Let that sexy mum to be Rochelle do it” said Johanna. Rochelle took up her place with the hose and got a firm grip on it. “Does it remind you of Marvin?” Rosamund teased. Putting the hose by her crotch Rochelle jokes “This is how I got this way”.
Charlie give the wheel a mighty spin her pendulous boobs bouncing as she did so. Johanna screamed as she was whizzed around whilst Rochelle making naughty gestures with the hose drenched her with the recycled gunge. Johanna’s head went several times through the increasingly full overflow try before she finally came to a stop. Dripping with gunge Johanna was slowly lowered back to the level. “That’s the best feeling I’ve ever had after getting up off my back” she joked.
“Now it’s time for the next part of the challenge Katie, Thandie and Rosamund challenged Rachel Burden and Ruxandra Porojnicu to stay on the Torture Wheel for a minute each. Whilst Rachel and Ruxandra challenged Katie, Thandie and Rosamund to stay on for the length of the commercial break” Chris said and welcomed the 5 ladies back on stage.
“We have the following rules, one girl only may spin the wheel and she shall spin the wheel no more than 3 times per minute. The other girl or nominated girl shall operate the hose and there is to be no sustained spraying of any body part. If any girl appears in distress we will stop their part of the challenge or if they shout Tiswas . The average time of an ad break is 3 minutes 47 seconds which the threesome need to match with their combined times and each must stay on for at least a minute. Who is doing what and what order are you going in?” Chris said mopping his brow afterwards.
“I’ll spin and Ruxandra will handle the hose” said Rachel. “Bet she’s good at that” joked Thandie. “I don’t rise to our crudeness” replied an indigent Ruxandra. “I’ll go on the wheel first” she added. Thandie, Rosamund and Katie conferred. “We’ll have to do about 75 seconds each on the wheel” said Thandie. “I’ll spin it as I’m the youngest and biggest” said Katie. “Yes they should have put Rachel first as she is bigger than Ruxandra” observed Rosamund. “I’ll do the hose” said Thandie. “Okay you go on the wheel first Katie, then Thandie and I’ll anchor the team in case we need to make up time” said Rosamund. “Have you decided yet?” asked Chris.
“Yes I’ll spin, Thandie will handle the hose as she has had most practice” said Katie as Thandie did a typically rude gesture. “We’ll go Katie, Thandie and me on the wheel” said Rosamund. “Any thinking behind that?” asked Chris. “Well Katie is our ballast” joked Rosamund bouncing Katie’s gunge covered tits up and down and wobbling her belly. “The things I put up with from you honestly” said a laughing Katie. “Thandie goes next and I bring up the rear as you can guess I enjoy doing that” said Rosamund naughtily.
Maisie and Amber strapped Ruxandra to the Torture Wheel and it was raised 90 degrees. Katie gave the wheel a good spin and Thandie started aiming the hose up and down Ruxandra’s body. The gunge hit Ruxandra’s naked body as Thandie moved the hose quickly up and down her. When Chris announced 20 seconds had past Katie gave the wheel an even harder spin and Thandie gave Ruxandra a shot between the legs with the gunge hose. As the overflow tray began to fill up Ruxandra screamed even louder and Thandie gave her a blast of the gunge right in the face. Chris announced that 40 seconds had passed but Katie waited a couple of seconds and gave the wheel another mighty spin. Thandie aimed the gunge hose at Ruxandra’s face again before and after her head went through the overflow tray and Ruxandra shouted “Tiswas” and the gunge was switched off and the wheel stopped.
“You managed an impressive 51 seconds” Chris told Ruxandra as everyone applauded her. Rachel took her place on the wheel and it was raised to 90 degrees again. Chris gave the signal and Katie gave the wheel the strongest spin she could reaching right up and forcing it down as her impressive boobs nearly bounced up in her face. Thandie calmly ran the gunge hose up and down Rachel’s body covering her with yet more gunge. Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she was whizzed around and the gunge hit her. Chris announced 20 seconds and Katie gave it a short sharp spin whilst Thandie resorted to short sharp blasts with the hose at certain parts of Rachel’s body but Rachel seemed unfazed. Chris announced 4o seconds had gone and Katie immediately gave it her final spin. Rachel’s head went through the overflow tray several times and Thandie ran the gunge hose more quickly up and down her body. The count down from 10 to 1 as the wheel began to gradually slow and finally the klaxon went and Rachel had completed her minute.
The wheel was lowered and as she was let off it Rachel was clearly winded and exhausted. “Full respect to you” Thandie sportingly said to her. “Well I have no respect for you ” Rachel hissed back and Thandie stuck her tongue out at her. “As Rachel needs some time to recover I’m going to call an audible here” said Chris looking around. “I can announce that the total is now £3,493.991. So close yet so far” he added. “We are going to look into the Phantom’s private life soon but we have someone very special here to meet the Phantom Flan Flinger and they want a rematch from what happened nearly 40 years ago. Please watch this video” Chris said.
Sheena Easton on Tiswas circa 1981
“Please welcome Sheena Easton” said Chris as Sheena walked on smiling to warm applause.
Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.
“After nearly 40 years we end up back here. I said it might be the highpoint of your career way back then” joked Chris. “It was rather frightening but fun” said Sheena. “Yes you were like a rabbit in the headlights” said Chris. “But I did take one hell of a pieing and gunging” said Sheena. “Yes and what a lot of people may not know Sheena posted her gunging on YouTube when people were looking for it” said Chris. “Yes I had an early VCR and when I heard people were looking for it I got my PA to post it” said Sheena to a nice applause. “People still talk about your gunging then?” said Chris. “Yes a bit like Michael Parkinson with Emu, I’ll never live it down so I decided to embrace it as it gave me some street cred” said Sheena.
“Also I believe that you are wearing a very special” said Chris. “As one of the few women on here in any clothes I dug this out and had it adjusted so I could squeeze into it as my boobs are now bigger than they were back then. I cannot understand why” said Sheena pushing up her surgically enhanced bust. “I’m actually wearing the original Tiswas t-shirt I was gunged in” she added to a lot of cheers. “Can we see it?” asked Chris. “You want me to start stripping off you naughty old man” said Sheena jokingly. “We are not ageist on here we have Crazy Maisie who is only 18 and I believe you are about to turn 61” said Chris. “Maisie is hilarious I’d love to meet her” said Sheena.
Maisie tottered on in her heels and hugged Sheena and got her jacket mucky with gunge. “What am I like?” said Maisie and Chris gave her yet another custard pie. “What about me?” asked Sheena. “Here you are then” said Chris and put a custard pie smack in Sheena’s face. Sheena stood there laughing as the pie fell slowly off her face, “I’m getting a sense of deja vu” she joked. “I didn’t know you spoke Spanish?” said Maisie. “What are you like” said Sheena and put another pie this time on Maisie’s boobs. Maisie then picked up the final available pie and stuck it down Sheena’s ample cleavage. Sheena who was clearly not expecting it stood there open mouthed but to cheers took her jacket off and bounced her boobs off Maisie’s.
Sheena turned around to show that she was braless in her modified vintage Tiswas t-shirt. “You did have to squeeze to get into that t-shirt” joked Chris. “Oops I seem to have forgotten something” said Sheena in mock horror as she felt her breasts. “Wow your boobs are impressive can I feel them” asked Maisie. “Why not?” said Sheena to Maisie. As Maisie felt Sheena’s boobs Sheena stood there pretending to be impatient but struggling to keep a straight face. “Wow 40 years, 4 marriages, couple of Grammy Awards, run in a West End show and people will remember me for a gunging and having my boobs felt by Maisie Smith” Sheena joked. “What’s the verdict” Chris asked Maisie. “Not bad for an old Scottish bird” she joked. Sheena playfully smacked Maisie’s bum as Maisie tottered off.
“She’s priceless” Sheena said to Chris. “I know” said Chris as they both waved to Maisie. “I’d be happy to hook up with Rosamund and Thandie in their hot tub on Totty too” said Sheena and blew a kiss to both. “Well if we can try to move on. I believe you want a chat with the Phantom Flan Flinger ?” Chris asked Sheena. “Yes now we are both older and wiser I want to ask him why he was so harsh pieing an innocent young 20 year old Scottish lassie” said Sheena.
Intro music for a discussion type programme was played and Chris and Sheena walked over to where the Phantom was sat. Sheena sat opposite him and Chris stood between them. Sheena threw off her shoes to be barefooted as she was nearly 40 years ago. She was clearly laughing as she saw the vast array of pies and buckets behind the Phantom. She held out her hand and he graciously kissed it. And both were seated.
“We are here today to look back at an infamous moment in Tiswas history when an innocent young lady was subjected to one of the most brutal gungings in Tiswas history. That young lady was Sheena Easton and her attacker was the notorious Phantom Flan Flinger” said Chris. Both Sheena and the Phantom stood up and took mock bows. “Let’s look at the evidence again” said Chris as bits of the clip were replayed again. “Can I ask you why?” Chris said to the Phantom and got a pie in the face. “Why so many pies there were about 10 in the opening barrage?” asked Sheena trying to contain her laughter knowing what would happen. The Phantom preceded to give Sheena two of his famed double pie sandwiches and another 6 pies around her head. Sheena kicked her legs out laughing as the pie cases slowly fell from her pie covered head. “The Woodentops” she joked in tribute to one of the answers from the original quiz.
More of the clip was shown. “Again I put it to you Phantom why so many pies. Actually as show producer I told you to be hard on her as she seemed up for some fun” Chris admitted. “You sod” said Sheena and gave Chris another pie in his face. “I had about another 15 pies and a couple of buckets of water after the second question” said Sheena again clearly laughing. “Oh you mean like this” said Chris as he and the Phantom rained another 15 pies and a couple of buckets of water onto Sheena who was clearly loving this. Her immaculate hair was totally destroyed her nipples were showing through her sodden t-shirt but she playfully stuck her tongue out.
They then showed the rest of the clip again. “Any final comments Phantom?” Chris asked and the Phantom just shock his head and gave Chris another pie. “And you Sheena?” asked Chris wiping his face. “I mean I took about another 25 custard pies, 5 buckets of water and a couple of buckets of blancmange and it was the biggest ever Tiswas pieing until Rosamund Pike beat it earlier on this show. So I say Semolina to her, why were there no buckets mushy peas, baked beans, custard and tapioca!” Sheena demanded.
Rosamund suddenly ran back on and knelt down by Sheena’s seat. “You mean there is more Semolina and Daniel Craig has to pay a bit more to charity?” she screamed. “Yes there are a couple of buckets we held back as Sheena wanted to meet you” admitted Chris. Rosamund and Sheena hugged. “You are a bit undressed” Sheena joked to the naked Rosamund. “You are a bit overdressed more like” teased Rosamund. “I agree” said Sheena and pretended to take her sodden Tiswas t-shirt off. “Not yet” she teased “If enough is raised by the end of the night then I’ll do it and auction the t-shirt off for charity” she added. “You’ll join us in The Greatest Show On Legs?” said Rosamund. “Try to stop me” said Sheena to huge applause. “Now I think something needs to come off” she added and removed her wet trousers to reveal a pair of tartan bikini briefs,
“Now I think we are due a gunging” said Sheena as her and Rosamund both shouted Semolina. Chris and the Phantom rained down about 30 pies, 10 buckets of water buckets of mushy peas, baked beans, custard and tapioca before finally a bucket of semolina was tipped over both girls heads. They sat there both totally covered but loving it as the Phantom threw used custard pies back on them. The Phantom then got down on one knee and proposed to Sheena offering her a ring. Suddenly Flanderella walked on and gave Sheena yet another custard pie and dragged the Phantom off by the ear.
A totally destroyed Sheena and Rosamund walked forward to join Chris. “That went quite well didn’t it?” Chris asked Sheena. “Yes I think I got closure well I certainly got something and I’d like to announce that I’ll be joining Gwen Stefani in the big musical number towards the end of the show” Sheena said wiping her eyes clear. “I don’t care who holds the pie receiving record now, me, you or even Maisie?” Rosamund said to Sheena. “Why not hold a final pie off” joked Sheena. “Can we do that Chris?” asked Rosamund as Maisie tottered back on and said “I’m game”. “I guess so if we’ve got enough pies ” said Chris.
“Please thank the incomparable Rosamund Pike and returning after nearly 40 years to take an even bigger sploshing the legendary Sheena Easton” said Chris as Rosamund and Sheena took a bow to thunderous applause. “You sign off this part Maisie as after the break we’ll have smashed £3.5 million and I need a lie down before that” Chris added.
Maisie tottered forward as Rosamund and Sheena tickled her. “Join us after the break for Tiswas/OTT revival where we’ll have more flesh being flashed, delve into the Phantom and Flanderella’s private life. Rosamund, Thandie and Katie take their turns on the Tiswas Torture. Plus also coming up we have Rochelle’s Baby Shower, Gwen, Sheena and friends doing a musical number – whatever one of those is and The Greatest Show on Legs” Maisie said and slid into her signature splits.
Image may be NSFW.
