Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity)

This story follows on from https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2019/08/18/fantasy-holiday-day-3/

It was another hot day and Jodie and I were sitting on the bar terrace which overlooked the pool. It was a large terrace with a bar at one end serving drinks. We had just eaten lunch and were relaxing with a couple of cocktails. Jodie was looking exquisite in her pale green bikini set.

I noticed that on the side of the terrace was the gunge tank from last night. I guessed that it was probably being stored there until it was needed again.

Ben and Paul from the Holiday rep team suddenly appeared and they were carrying 4 buckets each. I watched them as they placed the buckets down next to the metal bar walled tank. Ben got some stepladders and placed them behind the tank. He made his way to the top of them. Paul then handed him each bucket in turn, and Ben emptied the buckets into the compartment on top of the tank.

My eyes lit up as I realised there was going to be another gunging. Jodie had observed them as well.

“Do you think they are going to gunge someone?”

“I guess so. Not sure who though”

Ben began to make an announcement.

“Hi everyone. We have received a special request and we are only too happy to carry it out. It’s someone’s birthday this week, and after seeing our gunge tank in action last night, her friends have nominated her for a gunging. Please give a round of applause for Katja.”

At the other end of the terrace, the three German guys from Day 2 appeared escorting their female friend. She was struggling to free herself from their clutches but she was no match for the three of them. They led her to the gunge tank and she squealed as they placed her inside and Paul locked the door.

Katja clutched the metal bars of the tank as she nervously looked upwards to where the compartment was. There was only enough room for one person to stand upright in the tank and there was no avoiding the large nozzle which was directly over her head.

Her 3 friends had sat down and taken front row seats to watch her receive her birthday gunging.

They were obviously not content with throwing her in the pool naked on our second day, they now wanted to see her gunged as well.

Katja’s long blonde hair was loose and looked freshly washed and blow dried. She was wearing a pink bikini bra and jean cut-offs which showed off her fabulous tanned thighs and long legs.

Jodie turned to me and whispered “I feel really sorry for that lady. She’s going to be completely embarrassed in front of everyone”

“You are right Jodie, but I guess her friends want to celebrate her birthday in good style.”

“What! It’s not going to be much of treat for her is it!”

I didn’t answer Jodie, as she wouldn’t have liked my response. I thought to myself, well it’s certainly a treat for everyone else and if I could get away with doing this to any of my female friends I would be doing exactly the same thing.

I looked at my bikini-clad girlfriend and so wished that she was in the gunge tank as well. I would love to see her get horribly gunged and I bet she would squeal and scream a lot!

As my mind started to imagine such a sight, I was brought back to the events happening before me, by some excited shouts from some of the watching guests. I settled down in my seat and waited with anticipation.

Ben and Paul were making a bit of a drama out of it, and all this was doing was increasing the wait for the hapless Katja who was locked in the tank.

“So Katja, how old are you now?”

“I’m 25”

“And when exactly was your birthday?”

“It was 2 days ago.”

“Did your friends do anything to celebrate on the actual day.”

Katja looked embarrassed as she replied “Well, they were a bit naughty and they threw me into the swimming pool naked”

“Really! I’m sorry I missed that. I bet that would have been great to watch.”

Katja nervously laughed.

“Ok Katja it’s time for your gunging, so on behalf of your friends we all wish you a belated Happy Birthday!”

A rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ was sung with all the guests joining in. As we sung the last line “Happy Birthday to you….” Ben pulled the lever and Katja let out a scream as the thick green gunge cascaded over her. Her friends cheered as she got covered in the slimey stuff. It slowed to a trickle and Paul approached the front of the tank.

“How did you find that Katja?”

“It’s disgusting. I’m absolutely covered.”

“Yes, we can see that. Do you like our gunge tank?”

“I’d much prefer somebody else in here rather than me.”

“Haha”

“Can you let me out please?”

“Well, I am afraid I can’t do that. Your friends have specifically requested for you to stay in the tank for the next 15 minutes.”

“You have got to be joking!”

Her friends burst into laughter as Ben and Paul strode off and left the poor lady in the tank. She gripped the bars and pulled out her tongue to the friends as they made jokes and comments at her expense. She did her best to get the gunge out of her hair, by running her hands thought it, but as it was so thick it was very difficult to get even the tiniest bit out.

After about 5 minutes Ben and Paul re-appeared carrying 2 buckets each. Katja looked horrified as they filled up the compartment on top of the tank again.

“I thought you were just going to leave me here for 15 minutes. No one said anything about gunging me again. Do you not think I’ve been gunged enough already?”

“Sorry, did we not mention that? We must have forgotten.”

Her friends burst into laughter as Katja prepared herself for another gunging. Ben duly pulled the lever and a torrent of thick green gunge enveloped Katja.

Ben and Paul giggled and duly left the terrace again to leave a freshly gunged Katja fuming in the tank. We could all guess what would happen next and we were not disappointed when Ben and Paul returned in 5 minutes carrying 2 buckets each.

A lot of the guests cheered as the compartment was filled up again and the lever pulled and which resulted in yet another gunging for Katja.

Although I felt sorry for the lady, I was finding it incredibly exciting that a very attractive lady was getting a continuous gunging. I had not seen this before on television game shows. Normally when a person gets gunged on TV then that is it, and they are allowed to leave and get cleaned up.

By now, every inch of Katja was covered in the slimey green gunge. Her jean cut offs were saturated with the stuff and even her bare feet were covered. Her pink bra was no longer pink, but a green sludgy colour, and her impressive cleavage was dripping with gunge.

Jodie suddenly got up from her chair and yawned. “I’m feeling a little tired, and I can’t watch this poor girl get humiliated any further. I’m going to the apartment for a nap.”

“Ok babe, see you in a bit.”

Ben smiles at Katja, as he finally unlocks the door and allows her to step out of the tank. However as soon as she does this, Ben grabs one arm and Paul grabs her other arm, and before she knows what is going on, they pull her arms behind her back and handcuff her to the outside of the gunge tank door.

At that point, one of the other holiday reps, Suzanne, walks onto the terrace and recognised me as the person who played the messy game against her on Day 2.

She plonked herself down on the seat next to me “All alone handsome?”

”Y-y-yes! My girlfriend has just gone for a nap.”

”Oh really! She’s missing out on all the fun” Katja sexily winked at me, and turned her attention to the gunge tank where Katja had just been handcuffed to the tank door.

“What now?” says a despairing Katja.

Paul continued “Well, I was intrigued about what you said your friends did to you on your actual birthday. I don’t think everyone got to see that and I know that Ben and I certainly didn’t, so we thought we would do something about that.”

Katja looked confused but soon realised what Paul meant when he started to attempt to untie the straps on her bikini bra.

“Oh no, please don’t do that. Everyone here will be able to see my tits!”

“That’s the whole point Katja. Isn’t that right lads?”

Her 3 friends shouted “yes” in unison.

I continued to watch the scene unfolding before my eyes. Paul was having some difficulty in untying her bikini top ties. Due to the gunging the ties had become saturated with the gunge and Paul was not finding it easy getting a good grip. One of her friends jumped up from his seat and took over the job and he was able to untie it very quickly and he whisked the bikini bra from her body.

Everyone gasped as Katja’s beautiful large bouncy breasts were revealed. I had seen them a couple of days ago, but they looked even better covered in green gunge.

The cuffed Katja was helpless and had no option but to stand where she was and allow some of the guests to snap photos of her with their mobile phones.

Meanwhile, Ben had collected another bucket of gunge and returned just in time as the last of the photos were taken. Ben placed the bucket just in front of Katja.

Katja looked disconsolate as Ben grinned at her.

“Anybody want to throw this last bucket at our lovely lady?”

I took my opportunity again, as Jodie had gone back to the apartment. I raised my hand and Ben beckoned me over.

“Take your time sir, but make sure she gets a good coating.”

I picked up the bucket and looked at Katja. She was resigned to her fate, and weakly smiled back at me.

I threw the contents of the bucket at point blank range and the thick green gunge splashed over her front as she squealed again. She had gunge dripping from all over her body now. I stepped back and admired my handiwork. Her tits looked great covered in the green slime and long gungey drips were forming off them. She had been well and truly gunged.

“I think Katja has had a sufficient birthday gunging now, so just to say thank you Katja for being such a good sport and hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday” announced Ben, and unlocked the handcuffs.

Immediately Katja covered her tits with her hands and jogged off the terrace and back to her apartment to get cleaned up.

I sat down again and Suzanne leaned over to me and whispered “Did you enjoy seeing Katja get gunged and stripped topless?

”Errr, I guess I did.”

”She’s a very attractive lady, isn’t she?”

”I would have to agree with you”

”Tell me, what excited you most? Seeing Katja gunged just now or me getting gunged topless on Day 3?”

I looked directly at Suzanne who was grinning at me. “I would have to say I enjoyed seeing you more, especially as I got to custard pie you as well.”

Playfully, Suzanne flicked my nose with her forefinger “That’s nice to know!”

The holiday rep stood up and started to walk away, before stating “I need to go back to work now, so I will bid you farewell for now. Hopefully see you very soon!”

As Suzanne walked down the terrace, Ben and Paul noticed her coming.

Ben shouted out “Shall we gunge someone else?”

Paul followed up with “How about Suzanne?”

This made Suzanne stop in mid stride, smile, turn around promptly and run in the other direction. Paul and Ben contemplated running after her, but decided against it as it was too hot.

”Never mind, we’ll get her next time!”

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Noel Edmonds, with pure grandeur, made his way out to center-stage. “Ladies and gentlemen”, he began with his signature swagger, “we have reached the conclusion of our 2018 Great Gunge Tournament!” The crowd clapped in response.

“So”, Noel began again, “seeing as how we eliminated all of the ‘bad’ girls, our final battle is between two teams of ‘good’ girls. Sasha Banks and Bayley against Tegan Nox and Dakota Kai. Please, welcome our participants!”

The two teams made their way to the cheers of the crowd, and took their places next to Gordon, who began to talk again, “So, the viewer at home had some choices. In addition to choosing which of you lovely ladies get a makeover, fans also got to choose the stipulation and the type of gunge. And because we have reached the finale, the TWO types of stipulation and gunge receiving the mosrlt votes will be used.”

The crowd cheered again, while the four ladies had looks of nervous anticipation. “Now, without further ado”, continued Noel “lets see which stipulations it will be.”

The graphic appeared, and tallied up the votes. Finally, the conclusion showed.

The crowd roared in approval. The four ladies expressions all turned to nervous embarrassment, but with each of them, there was a hint of excited anticipation. Noel continued, “Well, our losers are gonna do some butt kissing, and are gonna be getting just a little undressed. But look at this way, when you get gunged in your underwear, your gear will stay clean. Now lets see what your undies will be covered in.”

Again, the graphic appeared, and then the result was calculated.

The crowd again roared. The ladies became even more nervous, as they realized that they possibly minutes away from getting drenched in ice cream, fudge, whipped cream, and finally, manure. There was no longer any excited anticipation, rather, it was sheer dread.

“Now”, began Noel, “the time has come. We know what the punishments will be, so lets see who will be gunged. The veterans Sasha and Bayley, or the new girls on the block, Tegan and Dakota. Please, lets see the result…”

Bayley’s mouth dropped, but there were just the faintest hints of a smile at the edges of her mouth. Sasha, however, had no hints of a smile. Tegan and Dakota, on the other hand, seemed quite pleased with the result.

“Now ladies”, bellowed a beaming Noel, “you know what you must do!” Bayley and Sasha looked at each other, grimaced, and stood up. Noel continued, “First, we will commence with the so-called butt-kissing. Lets begin!” Tegan and Dakota, smiling smugly, stood up, and turned around.

Sasha and Bayley got down on their knees, ready to humiliate themselves. Tegan held up a finger, indicating for them to wait. Her and Dakota looked at each other, nodded, and pulled up their tights. They hiked them up so much that their tights were practically thongs. They bent over, and Bayley and Sasha, reluctantly leaned in and puckered up.

Sasha pressed her upon Tegan’s bare butt-cheek, while Bayley kissed Dakota’s. After what felt like hours (for Sasha and Bayley), they removed their lips. Sasha had a look of abject horror, disgust, and humiliation. Bayley, looked embarrassed, but once again, there were hints of a smile, as if there was a small part of her that enjoyed the absurdity of the situation.

“Well”, began Noel, “that was something alright. And while that was a unique stipulation, it was not the only stipulation.” With this, the crowd, particularly the men, began to cheer. Bayley began to laugh again, while Sasha pouted and shook her head.

Again, the two ladies looked at each other, and began to undress. They first removed their tops. This revealed a black bra for Bayley, and a tan bra for Sasha. Next, with a sense of reluctance, they removed their bottoms. Bayley revealed a black thong, while Sasha revealed a tan thong. The crowd (again, mainly the men) cheered wildly.

At this point, Bayley was outright laughing, while Sasha looked quite angry. Noel began, “Well, ive always heard that wrestlers wear very thin underwear under their gear, for mobility reasons. It looks like that theory has been proven correct tonight. Sasha moved towards Noel in anger, but quickly covered when she remembered her current state.

“Now, it is time to commence with the gunging. As we saw, it will be ice cream and horse manure. A nice little clash there, a mix of sweet and, well, very sour.”

The carwash device spun out, and Noel motioned the near-nude Sasha and Bayley to take their seat. The walled over and took their seat in the cart, their reactions staying the same as before. Noel motioned Tegan and Dakota, who grabbed the lever and pulled. The cart surged forward, toward its inevitable fate…

Hey everyone, just wanted to check in woth Part 1 of 2. Sorry for the delay, Ive gooten kind of busy recently. I dont want to go all George RR Martin on everybody and make you wait too long. Also, I wanted to break it up, as it is alot, and I didnt want to give the reader too much to digest. Hope you enjoy.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity and sexual scenes)

The story follows on from https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2019/08/19/fantasy-holiday-day-4/

It was a cooler day on our fifth day, and Jodie and I decide to take the 30 minute walk to the nearest town. We had eaten and drank well so far on the holiday and a bit of exercise was definitely needed.

Jodie chose to wear a green outfit which showed off her long tanned legs and we chatted as we walked.

“I was thinking again about that poor German lady yesterday. She was completely humiliated by her friends. What was her name again?”

“It was Katja. Yes, they had her gunged three times. She was a complete mess by the end.”

“So did anything else happen to her, after I left to go back to the apartment?”

“Well, just after you left they unlocked the gunge tank door and Katja stepped out. However the two holiday reps then handcuffed her hands to the door.”

“Really? So she was gunged and on display for everyone to see?”

“Yes and it got worse for her. They took her bikini top off.”

“Oh no! That really is taking it too far”

“Lots of people took pictures of her with their mobile phones and….ahem…..someone threw another bucket of green gunge over her front before they eventually let her go.”

“Blimey, that is soooo embarrassing. I would hate anything like that to happen to me.”

My mind started to picture my girlfriend in the same position and receiving a thorough gunging. If only I could set it all up, without her knowing it was me. Would this be at all possible, I thought? After all, Katja’s friends had managed to set it up. Perhaps I needed to speak to Ben and Paul…..

My thoughts were stopped in their tracks as Jodie dragged me into a local craft shop. After visiting way too many craft and souvenir shops, Jodie decided that she had enough of shopping and we made the walk back to the resort.

Once back, we made our way to the pool, I noticed that there was some kind of physical activity taking place on the grass next to the pool. It seemed to be one of the programmed activities and looked like some form of energetic yoga.

There were about 8 guests taking part and was being led by Suzanne, the holiday rep team member. I gasped as I took in the sight of the sexy rep who was wearing a white leotard. As we took our places on 2 available sunbeds I had a great view of the gorgeous blonde as she performed the exercises for the others to follow. Her leotard seemed very skimpy and I could see pokies through the material.

Jodie questioned “Was that the girl that you were getting excited about when she was showing us her tits through her wet t-shirt on our first day?”

“I have apologised for that already. Anyway I don’t think it was exactly her choice. She was tied to the post you know!”

“A likely story! I reckon it was all part of the act!”

I hadn’t told Jodie that I participated in a messy and strip quiz with Suzanne on Day 3. She would not be happy if she found out that Suzanne ended up topless and I had gunged her, pied her and poured ice cream in her knickers.

Suddenly there was some commotion coming from the grassed area, and Ben and Paul had appeared and had grabbed an unsuspecting Suzanne by her wrists and ankles. They started to carry her over to the pool.

Suzanne was putting up a little fight to escape but she knew she couldn’t really do anything about it.

When they got to the pool side, the guys adjusted their hold on Suzanne and held an ankle each so that she was dangling upside down. They then moved her so that she was directly over the pool.

“Shall we dip her in?”

Quite a few of the guests around the pool shouted “Yes!” and they lowered her in to her waist. They hoisted her back up and Suzanne was spluttering and to the delight of myself and the male guests around the pool, her leotard had turned completely transparent and was clinging to her body and her fantastic rounded tits like they were a second skin.

“Suzanne, you really must remember to put more clothes on next time.” laughed Ben

They shook her about in the air which made her tits jiggle about and gave everyone a good view. They then dipped her in again and hoisted her up again. A bit more shaking and jiggling and they then dropped her fully into the pool.

Suzanne received a round of applause as she clambered out of the pool with her arms folded against her chest and smiled. Unfortunately for her, she didn’t notice Ben and Paul had picked up two custard pies apiece and they promptly splatted two of them directly into her face, and the other two on top of her head.

With custard and cream streaming down her hair and face, Suzanne put her hands on her hips and faced her colleagues.

“Thanks for that guys!” she said sarcastically.

Suzanne decided to get cleaned up and as she walked past my sun bed she sexily winked at me. I immediately looked over to Jodie to see if she had seen that, but thankfully she was looking down at a bowl of chocolate mousse which she had just ordered. I wiped my brow with relief.

Jodie started to eat the chocolate mousse and she turned to me “Are you all excited again Karl, after seeing the pretty girl get all wet and custard pied?”

“No darling!” I defensively replied

“Oh that’s a shame, as I was going to see if you wanted to go back to our apartment, as I have a great idea where to put the rest of my chocolate mousse”

As she said that, she licked her lips and looked downwards at my crotch. I very quickly realised what she meant.

Jodie smiled sexily and whispered into my ear “Give me 10 minutes and then come up to the apartment!”

Jodie departed and I watched her sexy bottom as she walked away. I kept looking at my watch, wishing the time would go quicker. Once 10 minutes was up, I leapt up off my sun bed and hastily made my way back to the apartment.

I opened the door to be confronted by my girlfriend who had changed into some saucy lingerie.

”Do you approve?”

”Definitely!” I replied in an instant, looking my girlfriend up and down.

She was holding the bowl of chocolate mousse and smiled at me “You do realise this is going to be very cold!”

“I’m sure it will be, but I think it’s definitely going to be worth it….”

Jodie licked her lips and pushed me onto the bed. After giving me a deep kiss, she pulled my swimming shorts down and smeared the mousse all over my privates. It was indeed cold and gave me an initial shock but I soon forgot about the coldness as Jodie started to lick the dessert off me, before taking me fully into her mouth to give me one of the best blowjobs I had ever had…..

Thanks very much to SploshMonster for commissioning a second episode for the series. Their characters, as well as my own, are completely fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence.

Shrill female voice: Ten minutes everybody!

Episode 9 opens in the bustling backstage area of the studio. In the background, two men are sitting in front of a bank of monitors, one of which displays the Grudge-2-Sludge logo, while others provide views from around the studio. One of the men is pointing with a pencil to a top-down shot of the sludge pool, the contents of which are a very garish orange. Further towards the foreground, two women sit at a desk. One of them, who has her back to the camera, sports a blonde ponytail streaked with black and a thin-strapped top that exposes her shoulders and back. The other, a woman of about thirty in a black business jacket and white top, whose chestnut hair is cut to a shoulder-length bob, sits facing the camera. She is working her way through a stack of paperwork.

Brunette: …Any spinal conditions? …Any weakness of the heart? …Any fainting or dizzy spells in the last two years?

We can’t hear the blonde’s replies, but presumably the answers are satisfactory to the brunette as she ticks off the paperwork.

Brunette: …Any allegies? …Sensitive skin? …Any−

Natalie: [slipping in front of the camera] Well hello! Fancy seeing you here! I’m Natalie Lloyd and I’m backstage waiting for another sludgtastic episode of Grudge-2-Sludge to start!

Natalie, who has recently turned 29 (and was extremely vigilant over the security of her house during the birthday period), is wearing a heavily pleated red dress, with two straight sections that wrap around her shoulders and meet over her chest, leaving plenty of cleavage on sight, as always. She has her blonde hair tied up in a bouffant style.

Natalie: And with me is my boyfriend and up-and-coming magician – entirely thanks to my string-pulling – Stuart Nasir!

The camera swings round slightly to bring Stuart into the shot. He is wearing the traditional magician’s garb of black tailcoat and top hat; red bowtie, cummerbund and cape; and white shirt and gloves.

Stuart: Hi there everyone!

Natalie: I didn’t ask you to speak, Stuey-kins – we have to pay you extra when you do that. Anyway folks, it’s almost time for me to make my sparkling entrance on stage, but before we do, there’s just time to pay someone a visit! Come on, this way!

Natalie turns and beckons down a corridor for the cameraman and a slightly hesitant Stuart to follow. They pass several doors, labelled with things like “props” and “crew facilities”, until they arrive at a door emblazoned with a blue star. As the camera gets closer, the writing on the star is revealed as “Miss Clara Quick”.

Natalie: [In a hushed tone] Ah, yes. Here we are, outside the dressing room of little Miss Clever Clogs herself! Stuart, are you ready to get your magic wand out?

Stuart: For you, any time! [Taps his sleeve and a wand folds out] [Hesitates] Don’t you think this is a bit harsh?

Natalie: [hisses] Did you see what she did me last episode?!

Stuart: Oh I know! But even so, messing with a woman’s mop is not something you do lightly.

Natalie: Listen, Stuey-kins, the way you’re going, the only mop you’ll have to worry about is the one you use to clean sticky floors when you go back that nightclub job! Now let’s go in!

Natalie pushes the door handle and she and Stuart burst into Clara’s dressing room. Clara, dressed in a blue and white chequered dress, is seated in front of a mirror, having some final touches of blusher applied by a make-up artist.

Clara: Hey!! What’s going on!?

Natalie: [to the make-up artist] T’salright love, we’re taking over here.

The make-up artist leaves.

Clara: This is my private dressing room! You can’t just barge in here!

Clara makes to stand up from her chair, but Natalie prevents her with a firm hand on the shoulder.

Natalie: Oh, soz for intruding, Clara! It’s just that Stuart wants to show you a magic trick!

Stuart removes his top hat in a gentlemanly gesture. He taps it with his wand and it unfolds to double the size. Clara flinches and thrusts out her hands to defend herself.

Stuart: Hey, there’s nothing in it, see? [Shows Clara the empty interior of the hat]

Clara: Well that’s okay then. It’s just I thought you were going to−Mmmfff!!

Stuart plonks the top hat over Clara, covering her entire head and shoulders. Clara’s arms flail about as her muffled cries emanate from inside the hat. Stuart waves the wand over Clara, then pulls off the hat.

Clara: What on earth did you−HHUUUHH!!

Clara stares agog at herself in the mirror. Her shoulder-length hair is no longer brown but a brilliant platinum blonde, even blonder than Natalie’s.

Clara: My hair!!

Natalie: What’s the matter with it? You went blonde a few episodes ago!

Clara: Yeah, that was highlights; this is something else! [Touches her hair] I can feel my IQ dropping away! [Glares at Stuart] Very clever, Mr Magician. Now put it back the way it was, and fast!

Stuart: Hey, no sweat!

Stuart puts the top hat back over Clara’s head and shoulders, and waves his wand over it again. When he removes the hat, Clara’s hair has returned to her favoured brunette colour… but it is tightly curled in a poddle perm. Clara stares at the mirror in fresh horror.

Clara: Uggh, that’s horrible!

Stuart: [a little flustered] Don’t worry! I’ll fix it.

Another planting of the top hat, another wave of the wand, and this time Clara is revealed with jet-black hair, perfectly straight and centre-parted.

Natalie: Ooh, I quite like that! Like Jessie J.

Clara: I don’t like it! [Stamps foot] Get it back how it was!

The process is repeated. The resulting hairstyle consists of hundreds of intricate braids, dyed all the hues of the rainbow.

Clara: [growls] Stop fooling around, Stuart!

Stuart: [perspiring] I’m trying my best to get it back, Clara. I promise you!

Clara: That’s all the more worrying.

Natalie: Oh, you’re useless, Stuart! Get out of the way!

Natalie snatches the hat and wand from Stuart and pushes him aside. Before Clara can protest, Natalie plonks the hat over Clara.

Stuart: Natalie, careful. My magic wand is very potent!

Natalie: I know that very well, dear [winks at the camera in the mirror]. Now let’s see… izzy, whizzy, let’s get dizzy! [Gives the hat a keen tap with the wand then whisks it off Clara’s head] Ta-daa!! …Ooh, dear!

Clara’s eyes boggle the widest yet. Her hands rise to bare temples as she issues a Munchesque scream. She is as bald as a cueball.

Stuart: I did warn you, Natalie!

Natalie: [gigglig] Move over Kojak! [Checks watch] Oh look, it’s time for the show to start!

Clara: No! Nooo!! You can’t leave like this! Come back and fix it!

Natalie: I’ll bring you some polish, Clara!

Natalie cackles as she and Stuart walk off along the corridor, Clara’s screams echoing behind them. The pair arrive at a prominent, arch-shaped opening. Stuart makes to walk through, but Natalie stops him.

Natalie: No, not you! Laters, Stuey-kins!

Leaving behind a frowning Stuart, Natalie steps through the archway and emerges into the studio, to bountiful applause. She strides down the stairs, her pleated dress swishing about her legs and a smug grin on her face, while the opposing staircase stays unused.

Natalie: [reaches the stage and takes a cleavage-plunging bow] Woooo!! Hello everyone! Welcome to Grudge-2-Sludge – or should that be Natalie Lloyd’s Grudge-2-Sludge – with yours truly, Natalie Lloyd! Too bad Clara can’t make it; she’s having a bad hair day. Or more precisely, a no hair day, ha ha!

The audience laughs.

Natalie: And speaking of hair, we’ve got a real shock of it in store tonight. So let’s get on to the mane event, and invite our contestants! First, from the red corner, we have Prisha Bhandari. She’s 34 years old and from Barnet, where she’s the proprietor and manager of a high-street salon. Please welcome her!

The audience duly claps, cheers and whistles as the first contestant emerges through the red-rimmed archway. A British Indian, Prisha has mid-brown skin and is quite short at 5 ft 2. A sleeveless salon tunic of crimson hue, buttoned up on the left-hand side, hugs close around her slim torso and small, round breasts. The tunic reaches to just below Prisha’s hips and backside, while black full-length leggings clad her legs. Prisha’s fingernails, long and impeccably sculpted, match the crimson of her tunic, as does her lipstick. Her face is subtly embellished with mascara and blusher. Her long, jet-black, and very glossy hair would naturally be straight, but has been volumised to make it wavy. It is also highlighted with bronze streaks.

Prisha walks down the stairs in a stiff posture, her chin elevated to an exact angle, a prim expression on her face.

Natalie: Prisha, good evening! Welcome to Grudge-2-Sludge!

Prisha: Good evening, Natalie. [Inspects Natalie’s bouffant] Interesting hairstyle you’ve gone for this time.

Natalie: Not as interesting as Clara’s! [Chuckles]

Prisha: I’ve watched all the episodes so far, and most of them have gone the right way in my opinion. But I must disagree with that deputy head getting thrown in last time. All she was trying to do was keep her school shipshape, which as a business owner I fully−

Natalie: Okay, okay. That grudge is settled now; what interests us is the grudge you’re embroiled in. Who is it against?

Prisha: Well Natalie, every year I get a trainee on day-release from the local college. Some of them are good, [pulls a wistful face] some of them not so good, [frowns] but dear me, I’ve got some real problems with this one!

Natalie: Mmmm, and I think we better bring “this one” on stage to hear the charges against her! “This one” is Georgia Platt, 19 years old and also from Barnet, where she is a trainee stylist and nail technician. Please welcome her from – and it feels really good to say this – the blue corner!

More clapping, cheering and whistling ensues as the younger white girl, the back of whom we earlier saw taking the health interview, steps out of the blue-rimmed archway. Georgia is even shorter than Prisha at a bare five foot. She is similarly slim, though fuller of figure around her bust and backside. She is wearing a thin-strapped leopard-print top, through which the imprint of nipples indicates she is not wearing a bra. Her lower half gives a nod to her player colour in the form of a mid-blue miniskirt, and her legs are otherwise bare. Georgia’s hair is a stark white-blonde, overlaid with highlights of black, pulled into a ‘Croydon facelift’ by an ultra-tight ponytail midway up the back of her head. Her face is very heavily made-up with powder and eye-shadow, and a pair of hooped earrings complete her persona. She is chewing gum open-mouthed.

Georgia thumps downs the stairs in a slouchy yet defiant posture and meets Natalie at the bottom.

Natalie: Georgia, hello! It’s nice to have you on the show!

Georgia: [Between chews of her gum] Ta, Nat. [Ignores the sharp look she gets from the hostess] Glad to be here at last. I’m looking forward to having it out with Prish!

Prisha: Prish! [Rolls eyes] It’s Ms Bhandari to you!

Georgia: [Nudge Natalie] You can see why I want to sludge her.

Natalie: I can see this grudge is very much mutual, that’s for sure! Georgia, you’ll have your chance to give your boss a thorough rinsing. But first, Prisha, you get to take a snip at your trainee!

Prisha: Thank you very much, Natalie. [To the audience] Just listen to this…

Prisha’s prepared video-reel plays, showing a typical hairdresser’s shop in a typical high street. There are posters of models with stylish hairstyles in the window, and across the top is a sign that says “Clean Cut” − stylish white text on black. A close-up of the door shows Trisha’s hand turn round a hanging sign from “CLOSED” (illustrated by a shut pair of scissors) to “OPEN” (accompanied by an open pair). We then get to see inside the salon, where Trisha is inspecting the hairdressing equipment ready for a day’s trade. Humming a tune, she makes an exacting adjustment to the position of some shampoo bottles and lightly polishes a mirror.

Prisha: [direct to camera]
Now Georgia’s snipping skills are sound,
As any girl I’ve hired.
But overall her attitude…

A bell tinkles. Prisha looks round towards the door and her face falls. In struts Georgia, wearing only a pink PVC boob-tube and hot pants.

Prisha: [blackly]
…leaves much to be desired!

Cut to another scene, in which the bell tinkles and Georgia enters dressed in a red fishnet body-stocking with a black bikini underneath. Another time, Georgia has plumped for a low-cut white top that even Essex barmaids would think twice about wearing. In the last of these scenes, Georgia has on the leopard-print top and blue miniskirt that form her present studio attire. In each case, Prisha looks dismayed.

Prisha: [voiceover]
For chic and classy ambience,
My salon has renown.
But Georgia’s clothing more befits
A cheap night on the town!

An old lady walks into the salon and asks for a blue rinse. She tries to chat to Georgia about the weather, but the girl silently plonks her in a chair and roughly puts her head back in a basin full of dye. Next a middle-aged woman enters and asks to have her hair curled. Georgia rolls her eyes. Then a young woman walks in and spends a long time explaining a really complicated haircut she wants done. Georgia stands there sporting a bored, stony face, slowly inflating a bubble-gum bubble. Prisha observes from one side, slowly shaking her head. The bubble gum pops.

Prisha: [voiceover]
Now any stylist worth their salt
Knows manners are the key.
But Georgia’s rough and ready tone
Makes clients want to flee!

Later on. The old lady still has her head in the basin. The middle-aged woman has curlers in her hair. The young woman is sitting under a hood dryer. As for Georgia, she is lounging in the nail station, doing her own nails while she kicks her feet back and chats away on the phone.

Prisha steps out from the back of the salon and wrinkles her nose, frowning. Then she dashes forward in alarm, and yanks the hood dryer away from the young woman’s head. The woman’s hair is smoking. Next Prisha pulls a few curlers out of the middle-aged woman’s hair, which springs into a tight, frizzy mass. Finally, Prisha lifts the old lady’s head out of the basin. Her hair is dyed smurf blue.

Prisha:
When Georgia’s meant to be alert,
She’s off to text some lad.
Some hairy mishaps have occurred;
Her laxness drives me mad!

The young woman’s hair continues to fume, as does Prisha, who growls Georgia’s name. Not realising anything is wrong, Georgia nonchalantly strolls over. When she sees what has happened, she pulls an ‘oops’ face.

Prisha: [direct to camera]
If Georgia is to make the cut, [snips a pair of scissors menacingly]
Then something has to budge.
This girl needs to be straightened out, [brandishes some hair straighteners in the other hand]
SO SLING HER IN THE SLUDGE!!

The videoreel fades on the sorry scene. Back in the studio, Georgia faces the customary booing from the audience. She stands with her hands on her hips, blowing a pink bubble. Prisha nods smugly in agreement with the booing.

Natalie: [shaking her head] Wow Georgia, you are quite the calamity coif-cutter! But before I proceed, Prisha, I have a question: does Georgia do your hair and nails? I must say they’re very well done.

Georgia: Yes I do! And that’s part of my beef with Prish!

Natalie: [snapping] You’ll get your turn! Prisha…?

Prisha: Let’s be clear, Georgia has a fair bit of talent. But as I said, it’s her attitude that’s holding her back!

Natalie: Mmm, I agree. Georgia, I’ll let you into a secret: women don’t really care how good a haircut they get; what they really want at the hairdresser’s is a good natter. The weather, holidays, celebrity goss, the men in their lives… [sucks in] the things I’ve confessed to my hairdresser! To succeed as a stylist you need the gift of the gab. But you… [watches disdainfully as Georgia blows a bubble] have more gob than gab!

Georgia: [pops her bubble and sucks it back into her mouth] I say all that needs to be said: come in, sit down…

Prisha: …Wait there while I go and text my boyfriend!

Natalie: Indeed. And these distractions are causing a few follicular follies, it would seem.

Georgia: Look, there was one lady I forgot about whose hair got singed, and Prisha’s never let me forget it!

Prisha: [sternly] My bank balance hasn’t forgotten the compensation I had to pay.

Natalie: Just quickly, cos time is getting on, this question of your attire… [inspects Georgia’s top and miniskirt]. It seems that this is one of your more conservative outfits, if that video is anything to go by.

Georgia: It don’t see what Prisha’s problem is! It’s a hairdresser’s, not a nunnery!

Prisha: It’s not a ‘massage parlour’, either.

Georgia: See the way she sneers? This is very typical Prish – so snobby and prudish!

Natalie: Well Georgia, you clearly have a lot to say on this matter, so here’s you chance to turn to blow-dry your boss. Be as cutting as you please!

Georgia: Oh I will, Natalie. I will…

The videoreel of Georgia’s counter-argument begins. In it we see Georgia walking along the high street towards the salon. In one hand she carries a take-out coffee, while in the other she gives her face a final dusting with a powder puff.

Georgia: [direct to camera]
I’m glad to be on day-release;
The best part of my course.
But what takes out the fun for me…

Georgia pushes open the door of the salon, tinkling the bell. Prisha is inside, poking a feather duster around the shelves. Georgia imparts a cheery “Good morning!” as she breezes into the shop. In response Prisha simply tuts.

Georgia: [grimly]
…Is Prish on her high horse!

Later on, the pair of them are having lunch in the back room. Georgia unwraps a grease-stained paper bag from the local ‘Fredds’ bakery. Prisha shakes her head as she opens a box of sandwiches – crayfish tails and guacamole on crustless five-grain bread – purchased from a certain middle-class grocers. Georgia loudly opens a can of fizzy pop. Prisha rolls her eyes as she sips from a bone-china cup of green tea. Georgia flicks through the pages of a celebrity gossip mag. Prisha raises a broadsheet newspaper so she doesn’t have to look at Georgia.

Georgia: [voiceover]
Now Prisha’s such a sneering snob;
A stuck-up prude to boot.
She makes me feel like common dirt;
I’m fed up of her snoot!

Next scene: Georgia is cutting a lady’s hair, while Prisha stands by behind her, arms folded and frowning as she observes. Prisha issues some sharp comments of criticism at Georgia, to which the trainee responds by trying to change the angle of her cut. Prisha is not satisfied, and steps forward to admonish Georgia. After some further scolding, watched by the customer in the mirror, Prisha demands the scissors, which Georgia sullenly hands over. Prisha sends Georgia away and takes over the haircut, continuing to badmouth her trainee to the customer.

Georgia: [voiceover]
I understand Prish wants her say,
’Bout how I cut folks’ hair.
What’s wrong’s how she belittles me,
When they are sitting there!

In the next scene, a clock on the salon wall shows five o'clock. A hopeful Georgia gathers up her things and edges towards the door, but Prisha, seating herself in a salon chair, calls her back. Georgia sighs and picks up a pair of scissors. Cue a hugely sped-up film, in which Georgia fusses around Prisha – washing, styling and drying her hair – and then proceeds to varnish her nails. The scene is interspersed with shots of the clock, which whizzes round to gone six.

Georgia: [voiceover]
And when the working day is through,
My exit is delayed.
Cos Prisha want her own hair done;
For this I don’t get paid!

Exhausted, Georgia blows Prisha’s nails dry. Again she gathers her things together, relieved to be finally leaving, but Prisha halts her with an “Uh-uh!!” Prisha kicks off her shoes and places her bare feet on a footstool, presenting her pale soles to the camera. A smug expression grows on the boss’s face as she wiggles her toes. Dismayed, Georgia kneels beside Prisha’s feet, nail varnish in hand.

Georgia: [Direct to camera, screwing up her nose]
The boss from hell, with feet that smell;
That’s why I bear this grudge.
Her prim veneer [gestures the nail varnish] needs rinsing clear,
SO SLING HER IN THE SLUDGE!!

Back in the studio, more booing, directed this time at Prisha, who glares daggers at Georgia.

Natalie: Well, well! This puts quite a different highlighting on things, doesn’t up? Interesting that a lady so prim and perfectionist actually has smelly feet!

Georgia: [pleased with herself] Oh yes, they’re a right pair of cheesers!

Prisha: [mortified] This is completely untrue!

Natalie: Hmm, well maybe we’ll find out the truth if you have to bare your tootsies for the Sludge Sling! But there’s a far bigger issue here, and that’s that you make Georgia do your hairs and nails – very nicely, as I previously said – in her own time and without getting paid!

Prisha: Yes, and I think that’s a fair favour in return for the experience I’m giving Georgia. She’s lucky to get wages at all; it’s only recently the rules were changed to require that student trainees be paid!

Natalie: And let me guess, before that you didn’t pay your trainees…?

A few more boos sound from audience, and Prisha realises she is on shaky ground.

Prisha: Listen, the time doing my hair is far outweighed by the time she sits around texting boys when she’s supposed to be working!

Georgia: Well maybe I’d get more work done if you didn’t do me down in front of customers all the time!

Natalie: Yeah, really Prisha, that’s not very nice. I understand that Georgia won’t get everything right first time, but why don’t you take her aside afterwards and explain her mistakes?

Prisha: After she’s wrecked a customer’s hair, you mean? Sorry Natalie, but I have standards to keep up at my salon! And it’s a high class establishment as well. [Haughtily] That’s why I don’t take kindly to Georgia’s vulgar ways.

Georgia: [parrots Prisha, hoisting her nose in the air] …Georia’s vulgar ways! God, what a snob!

Natalie: [holds out her palms between the contestants] Okay, let’s stop it there! It’s clear the situation has got very hairy between you two, and it’s not going to brush off easily, especially since you’re both so dyed-in-the-wool. You’ve pushed each other to the fringes, and unless we comb through your knotty relationship, we might see a complete parting! So tonight we’re gonna shampoo and set things straight, through a series of hair-raising games that will put you in quite a lather!!

The audience groans at the litany of puns.

Natalie: [undeterred] Whichever of you cleans up with the most points will be crowned Queen of the Coif, and will be awarded a Grudge-2-Sludge certificate to grace your salon wall. And not only that, you’ll also take away a fabulous prize!

The audience bursts into deafening applause.

Natalie: [nodding] Oh yes indeed – a very fabulous prize! We… Eh?? What?!

The applause is not directed at Natalie’s announcement of a prize, but instead to the blue-rimmed archway, through which Clara has emerged in her chequered dress. Her shoulder-length brunette locks have been returned to her scalp, and as she struts down the staircase, she gives them a tug to prove that they are there to stay.

Clara: [reaching the bottom] Woo!! Hello everyone! Sorry I’m late, but it’s great to be here – and not a hair out of place!

Natalie: [disappointed] Clara. You…uh, got your hair back.

Clara: [nodding with satisfaction] Let’s just say that Stuart didn’t want that magic wand stuck where the sun doesn’t shine!

Natalie huffs at her boyfriend’s weakness.

Clara: Prisha and Georgia, nice to meet you both. As Nat was saying, tonight’s winner will pick up a plum prize. Prisha, I understand you’re a big fan of Clayton D’Arby luxury haircare products, so we’re ready to gift you a year’s supply of his shampoos, conditioners and colours for use in your salon!

Prisha: [nodding approvingly] Oh, very nice!

Clara: But only if you win, of course! Because, if your trainee beats you, a prize will be coming her way instead. Georgia, I know you’re keen to specialise as a nail technician – despite the horrors of Prisha’s feet – so we’d like to set you up for a week-long masterclass with the nail artists’ nail artist, Belinda Keratin!

Georgia: Oh sweet! I love Belinda’s work!

Natalie: [Annoyed that Clara has taken over the show] Better make sure you win then! But Clara, I think you’ve spent enough time going on about the winner’s prize. Don’t forget we also have a brilliant prize for the runner up!

Clara: Indeed we do, Nat. Grudge-2-Sludge prides itself in not leaving losers out, so tonight’s consolation prize is a fabulous beauty bath, provided in-house! Now how would I describe it? A deep cleanse, perhaps?

Natalie: Ooh yes – very deep, especially since neither of these ladies is that tall!

Clara: Very moisturising as well, isn’t it?

Natalie: Extremely moisturising, Clara. Invigorates all those hard-to-reach places!

Clara: And I get the feeling it’ll work wonders for these ladies’ locks [ruffles Prisha’s volumised hair with one hand and strokes Georgia’s ponytail with the other].

Natalie: It’ll be a very colourful makeover, Clara, plus it comes with a complementary face pack!

Clara: Oh yes, a full facial is guaranteed. But no need to take our word for it; come and see for yourselves!

Natalie and Clara turn to lead Prisha and Georgia on the customary stroll to the stage’s centrepiece – the infamous sludge pool. As revealed on the backstage TV screen at the beginning of the show, orange is the theme of this episode – an extremely bright orange. The pool’s contents gleam garishly under the studio lights, and also appear to shimmer. A closer inspection reveals this shimmer to be the intermittent bursting of thousands of tiny bubbles – the surface of the sludge is a dense froth of coloured soap suds. In a few patches the suds have dissipated to uncover the main substance of the sludge, which is smooth and thick and the same tone of orange. The suds have also been dispelled where additional splotches of gunge have been thrown on – browns, purples and dark greens – and in the middle of the pool, some blue goo has been used to scrawl a slogan: LIVE AND LET DYE.

Natalie: Oh yeah, I forget to mention – it’s ginger. You’re okay with that, aren’t you ladies? Don’t mind a tinge of the ginge?

Prisha’s mouth is pursed upwards, her chin wrinkled. Despite her claims to be a regular viewer of the show and its sludgings, she is taken aback by being face to face with the sludge pool, not to mention the prospect of ending up in it. Georgia, meanwhile, tries to project that she is unconcerned; she folds her arms and slowly blows up a pink bubble. But the widening of her eyes betrays her true feelings.

Clara: [shudders] It’s a dire dye indeed, and look, ladies, we’ve even customised the seat in your honour!

Clara gestures across the pool to where the giant catapult menacingly looms. The seat has been reupholstered in black leather to make it look like a hairdresser’s chair.

Natalie: It’ll be a richly deserved fate for one of our bickering barberesses, and I’m sure you lot in the studio audience have your thoughts on which stylist is the vilest! Well now it’s time to make your opinion count!

Clara: The voting buttons are there in front of you. Remember you are voting for your favoured friseuse – the one of you want to keep out of our shampoo goo!

Natalie: So if you think Miss Platt a brat who should splat in our vat, then push the red button marked “I side with Prisha”.

Prisha nods and voices her approval, while Georgia expresses her feelings with a loud burst of her bubblegum.

Clara: But if it’s your heartfelt wish for prudish Prish and her feet of fish to go splish, then press the blue button labelled “I side with Georgia”.

This time Georgia cheers and thumbs at Prisha, who closes her eyes and wrinkles her chin as she shakes her head.

Natalie: Red or blue, it’s up to you! Fifteen seconds to vote!

The audience members lean forwards to jab their fingers at their keypads.

Clara: Thanks for your input, folks. The votes have been banked, and later on we’ll convert them into points. But before that, Prisha and Georgia, you’ll need to make the best start you can in our first two games.

Natalie: Georgia, you’re gonna have to get rid of that gum. Health and safety, y’know.

Georgia removes the gum from her mouth and tosses it into the sludge pool.

Clara: That’s one way to get rid of it! Now, the stakes in this match are higher than a mammoth’s mohawk, so we need you to affirm your commitment…

Natalie: Prisha and Georgia, do you pledge to put up a fair fight tonight, to bow to the adjudication of Clara and myself in all matters, and to accept the outcome as settling your grudge, once and for all?

Prisha: [firmly] I do.

Georgia: [equally firm] I do.

Clara: Then let’s see you shake on it! Come on – shake!

The two players face each other, the orange sludge as their backdrop. Prisha stares sternly at Georgia. Georgia glares defiantly back. There’s a moment’s hesitation before they extend their arms for a businesslike handshake, indicating that a very bitter battle could lie ahead. Meanwhile, before the shot freezes and turns to sepia, Natalie and Clara can be heard having a barney of their own.

Clara: That was completely out of order what you got Stuart to do to me! How dare you!

Natalie: Keep your hair on, Clara! Tee hee!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity)

The story follows on from https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2019/08/20/fantasy-holiday-day-5/

It was the penultimate full day of our holiday and Jodie and I were by the pool again. Jodie was sporting yet another skimpy bikini, and was trying to make the most of the sunshine to improve her tan.

As I was massaging some sun cream onto her shoulders and back, the holiday reps, Ben and Paul, appeared and were carrying a large wooden structure. They placed it on the grass next to the pool and in full view of all the guests. They secured the structure to the ground by using some fastenings, and I began to wonder what this structure was for.

There was a piece of wood which was horizontal against the frame and just below head height. It also had a large hole in the middle and two smaller holes either side.

Suzanne then appeared in her holiday rep uniform and joined Ben and Paul.

“Hi everyone. We are very sorry to say that this is Suzanne’s penultimate day at the resort so we hope you don’t mind but we have given her the day off from doing her programmed activities.”

Suzanne did a mock cheer and raised her hands in the air.

“The first reason we have done this, is because her replacement Chloe starts tomorrow (by the way, we will introduce her to you all then). And the other reason is that we want to give Suzanne a proper send off.”

Ben reached for the wooden structure and unhooked a catch and pulled the top half of the wood structure up. They asked Suzanne to take her yellow jacket off, which left her in a tight white t-shirt, white shorts and white high heel shoes.

“Suzanne, would you be so kind and put your head and hands in the holes in the frame.”

Suzanne obediently obliged and smiled to everyone as she did so. Ben then moved the top half of the structure down and fastened the catch at the side.

It all became clear. Suzanne’s head and hands were now trapped in the wooden structure which I now recognised as some form of pillory. She was standing almost upright but had to bend forward slightly to enable her head and hands to be secured in the structure.

Suzanne seemed to be at ease and smiled as she was fully expecting a prank to be played on her as it was her penultimate day at the resort.

“Ok, so Suzanne will stay in the stocks for the next 3 hours, and we have lots of things that you can throw at her or pour over her.”

Six members of the catering staff appeared from the main building and they were carrying an assortment of food stuffs on trays and trolleys.

“As you can see we have lots of food that has gone past its sell by date, which the catering team have been keeping rather than throwing them away, so feel free to use whatever you want to. Ben and I will start proceedings off.”

Both Ben and Paul picked up a tub which contained rotten tomatoes. They then proceeded to throw them playfully at Suzanne’s head.

They were accurate throwers and she let out small squeals as the squishy fruit splatted against her forehead. Bits of tomato pieces and tomato juice dripped down her face and off her chin.

Ben picked up a bottle of salad cream and walked up to Suzanne and squeezed it all over her hair and rubbed it all in so that her hair was completely matted. Meanwhile Paul had walked around to the back of the structure and pulled the tops of her shorts out from her bottom, and squeezed a bottle of tomato sauce into them.

Suzanne was squirming and looked quite a state already and only 5 minutes had elapsed. Ben and Paul said that they would leave Suzanne “in our capable hands” as they left the scene.

It wasn’t long before one of the male guests plucked up enough courage and approached Suzanne and picked out some eggs from the collection of food stuffs.

Suzanne was quite thankful as he kept missing her as he tried to throw them at her head. However his aim improved and he managed to land 4 eggs directly on her forehead in quick succession. The yolk and egg dripped down her face and off her chin.

“Would you be OK if I had a go?”

Jodie looked at me, paused for a moment and surprised me by saying “Yes of course, and I’ll join you! That lady has been showing off her body most of this week. She deserves everything she gets!”

We walked towards Suzanne together. I picked up a tin of mushy peas and poured it over her head and massaged them into her hair. Jodie had found a custard pie and took great delight in smashing it in poor Suzanne’s face.

I poured a tub of cold gravy down the back of her t-shirt which made Suzanne yelp out loud, while Jodie opened up the the front of her shorts with her finger and poured in a carton of custard with her other hand. Suzanne squealed as the cold dessert hit her most sensitive areas.

Jodie then found a jam tart and cheekily remarked “A tart for a tart! Haha!” before pushing it into Suzanne’s face and smearing it all around. I could see through her jam and custard coated face, that Suzanne was smiling at the impromptu joke.

Satisfied with our contribution we both sat down again, but watched as other guests took their turn in messing up Suzanne.

After about an hour Ben and Paul returned. By now Suzanne was well and truly messed up with most of her body covered.

“Wow, you have all done really well. How are you feeling Suzanne?”

“Very messy.”

“Haha. Now, you have still got a couple of hours to go, but do you know you have to return your uniform fully clean and washed by the end of the day? You obviously won’t have time to do that as you are doing such a good job keeping the guests entertained. Haha! Tell you what, as its your last day I’ll do it for you.”

Paul unfastened the catch and pulled the top half of the structure up which released Suzanne’s head and hands. She stood up and slowly peeled off her t-shirt which was saturated in foodstuffs and handed it to Ben. This revealed a white bikini bra which matched her white shorts.

Suzanne resumed her position in the pillory and Paul pulled the top down again and fastened the catch so that Suzanne was secured.

“I’m really sorry Suzanne but it’s the whole uniform that has to be cleaned and returned.”

Ben winked to the crowd as he took a grip of the ties on her bikini top and pulled. Suzanne let out a squeal as Ben pulled the bikini top from her body to reveal her large tits.

“Your tits seem to have spent more time out than in this week!” exclaimed Ben.

“Very funny”

“Don’t forget these” Paul grasped both sides of her shorts before pulling them down her legs until she was able to step her feet out of them. This revealed white bikini briefs, and Paul gripped the tie on her bikini briefs and pulled sharply.

Suzanne got that sinking feeling as the garment was also whisked away from her body to leave her completely naked, apart from her white high heel shoes.

Suzanne started to squirm as her shaved muff and pert bottom were now exposed.

“Carry on everyone” Ben and Paul walked off again, satisfied with their antics.

Poor Suzanne endured more mess from the guests with her tits, muff and bottom being the areas of her body that were targeted the most. In particular the three German guys from Day 2 and Day 4 took great pleasure in pieing her tits and bottom.

At the end of the 3 hours Ben and Paul returned and  Suzanne was now an unrecognisable blob. Her nakedness however was fully covered with messy slop, so she was thankful for small mercies.

“Have you enjoyed your penultimate day Suzanne?”

“Why of course! Who wouldn’t enjoy getting stripped naked and having rotten food thrown and poured over them” Suzanne said sarcastically.

“Haha.”

Ben unfastened the catch and allowed Suzanne to remove herself from the pillory.

Every inch of her body was absolutely covered.

“Well, you can have the rest of the day off, but we’ll say a final goodbye to you tomorrow……”

With a wry smile, Suzanne said “I’ll look forward to that then!”

Suzanne trudged off and waved to everyone. I watched her leave and thought that she was going to have to spend a lot of time in the shower to get fully clean.

I turned to Jodie “Did you…ahem…. enjoy pieing Suzanne and pouring custard into her shorts?”

“Yes I suppose it was fun. She deserved it though, flaunting her body around like that.”

She looked directly at me “Anyway, she was very attractive, so I guess you really enjoyed the whole show?”

Jodie reached for the front of my swimming shorts and felt my excitement. She smiled.

“It appears you did.”

“So what makes it exciting for you. Was it because she was an attractive young female or was it the sight of her getting messed up.”

“I suppose a bit of both.”

Jodie pauses before smiling at me “Would you have liked to see me in the pillory, getting stripped naked and having all sorts of food gunk poured over me?”

My heart skipped a beat, and I was unable to utter any words in response, and just nodded my head enthusiastically.

Jodie put her finger to her mouth “Interesting! I guess if I offered to go into the pillory now, then you would jump at the chance.”

“Yes definitely. Are you offering?”

Jodie guffawed “Don’t be silly. I have absolutely no desire to be stripped and messed up while everyone watches, and probably take photos of me!”

My sense of hope was cruelly cut short and I resumed reading my book, as Jodie decided to go and have a nap back in the apartment, and she said she would see me later.

After another hour or so, Ben and Paul appeared again. They announced that one of the resorts management team had asked them to ‘tone down’ their entertainment. They asked us all what we thought about that, and most of us were quite vocal in that the ‘entertainment’ had been fantastic all week.

Ben and Paul nodded to each other, told us to prepare for some more ‘entertainment’ and that they would be back in a few minutes.

As I wondered what was going to happen, they soon re-appeared but they were carrying a lady in office wear, who seemed to be protesting.

Ben and Paul announced that the lady was in fact the member of the management team that had asked them to tone down the ‘entertainment’

“Shall we throw Lucy in the pool?”

“YES!!!” was the unanimous responses from the guests around the pool.

She was still protesting as they chucked her into the pool. There was a large splash as she went in, and re-surfaced spluttering and frantically trying to restyle her hair. The two reps giggled as Lucy climbed out of the pool to show that her office outfit was drenched and clinging sexily to her body. Her wet black stockings were glistening under the sunlight.

“You two are in BIG trouble!”

Rather than be worried by Lucy’s outburst, Ben and Paul took her by the arms and led her to the pillory that Suzanne had been in previously.

They placed her in the pillory and pulled the top part of the structure down, so that she was secured.

Ben knelt slightly so that his head was at the same level as Lucy “Contrary to your wish for us to ‘tone down’ the fun, all our guests are extremely happy at the entertainment they have seen so far this week, and apparently so has your boss! He has told us we can have a bit of fun with you. Isn’t that good of him.”

Lucy muttered a swear word under her breath, as the two holiday reps laughed and went to collect some goodies from the restaurant. They returned with a trolley laden with all sorts of food slop.

First, a jug of gravy was poured slowly over her head, and it was ensured that every inch of her long hair got slathered in the brown gunk. A carton of cold rice pudding was poured down the back of her white shirt which made her wince.

Ben decided to create a new target and lifted up her short black shirt to reveal her black knickers and the tops of her black stockings. He pulled the knickers out from the top and poured in a tub of semolina. Lucy squealed as the cold dessert came into contact with her most sensitive areas. Paul followed up with two custard pies being spanked on her knicker-clad bottom.

A large chocolate cake was waved in front of Lucy’s face who closed her eyes and mouthed ‘no’.

The cake was smushed into her face and rubbed around her face and into her hair to ensure maximum messy effect.

The guests cheered as the holiday reps announced that their bonus bit of ‘entertainment’ had come to an end and let Lucy out of the pillory. The drenched and sploshed lady quickly made a hasty departure, to go and get cleaned up and a change of clothes.

I wonder what tomorrow may bring…….

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Sasha and Bayley, in nothing but their skimpy underwear, sat in the moving car. Bayley displayed nervousness mixed with exictement, while Sasha displayed sheer anger and fright.

The car slammed to a halt, causing the ladies to involuntarily lean forward. As they regained their position, separate jets of thick and freezing vanilla ice cream rained down upon them. They jumped and screamed as it landed upon their heads, at the weight of the gunge, the texture, and the fact that it was freezing. It moved with great force, and turned them into statues of white cream.

In an instant, their immaculate hair, their beautiful faces, and their stunning bodies, were transformed. The two were motionless, and due to their faces being obscured, one could not see their emotions. The white ice creamed ceased, and the cart, with its two drenched ladies, moved forward.

As the car moved forward, Sasha tried to clean her face off. With her face now somewhat visible, her disgust was highly visible. She was in a state of horrified shock, in pure disbelief at the fact that this was happening to her. Bayley’s face showed that she was in a pure state of laughter, highly amused at her comedic situation.

Again, the car stopped. The ladies waited for their fate. Suddenly, thick and sticky chocolate fudge landed on their heads. Sasha’s face returned to a look of horror, until it was obscured by the slime. Bayley’s smile was soon obscured by the fudge as well. They squirmed as the fudge dripped down their nearly-naked bodies. Bayley, basking in the moment, turned her face upward into the gunge. Soon, they were drenched. The fudge was highly viscous and sticky, and they felt the stickiness everywhere. In their hair, on their skin, it was inescapable.

Soon, the fudge stopped, and the cart surged forward. The two ladies found themselves unable to wipe the sticky sauce from their bodies. They were so occupied with this task, that they barely noticed the cart coming to a stop.

Soon after the cart stopped, two separate showers of whipped cream shot down from above, upon the heads of Sasha and Bayley. The substance was like the vanilla ice cream, and it moved at great speed, obscuring them within  seconds. The cream was so thick and so voluminous, that the cart began to resemble a large white mass, and at the heart, though totally hidden, were two beauties.

Finally, the sludge stopped, the cart moved forward, and after a few moments, Sasha and Bayley flailed their arms, sending cream everywhere. Despite this effort, the two ladies were still thoroughly coated in it. The cart stopped for a final time, and two red cherries fell downward, onto the heads of Sasha and Bayley.

Noel spoke up, “Ladies, it has been wonderful making you just so sweet.” Noel smiled at this, as did Bayley, while Sasha stared daggers at everyone. “But”, spoke Noel again, “we have to cover you in something sour. But first, we wish to clean you up again. Please, follow me!”

Sasha and Bayley stood up, and did as they were told. The crowd hooted and whistled, and for a moment, Sasha was somewhat happy that she was covered in so much mess, as it somewhat hid the fact that she was in her underwear and her nearly bare butt and breasts were n visible. Bayley was modest, but also a good sport, and shook her head and smiled.

Noel led them to a wall, and began again, “Ladies, we wish to clean you up a bit, and I feel there is only one real way to do it!” As Noel said this, Tegan and Dakota emerged, each holding hoses. Sasha and Bayley appeared apprehensive, and Tegan and Dakota aimed the hoses.

Before Sasha and Bayley could react, freezing cold water shot out from the hoses, and this water hit the bodies of Sasha and Bayley. The duo cringed and tried to squirm out of the way, but Tegan and Dakota were persistent. They sprayed every inch of Sasha and Bayley’s bodies, throughly cleaning them. When the two losers tried to turn around, Tegan and Dakota cleaned and sprayed their back, legs, and butts. Sasha and Bayley’s messy cover was gone, and now they once again stood almost completely bare, with their bodies perfectly visible and dripping wet.

Sasha and Bayley both lost their footing and fell. They both found it incredibly difficult to stand, and fell and writhed multiple times. Finally, the freezing water ceased, and Sasha and Bayley trained to regain their footing which they eventually did. There they stood, dripping wet and in their skimpy underwear.

Noel began, “Wow! Now that is how we clean people in Crinkley Bottom! But, we have to mess you up again.” The gunge tank spun out, and at the top, sat a tank filled with a brown and green substance that had bits of hay in it. Sasha’s face once again dropped, as she had bearly forgotten about the second part of the mess. Bayley also began to look less amused. It may have been fun to get covered in delicious sundae ingredients, but this was foul, putrid, horse manure. And it would soon be in their hair, on their faces, and all over their bare skin.

Noel ushered Sasha and Bayley to the tank, where the two girls stood, awaiting their fate. Also at the tank was Tegan and Dakota, who placed their hands on the lever, waiting to execute the deed. Finally Noel motioned to Tegan and Dakota, who pulled the lever.

Thick, liquidy manure rained down, right onto the heads of Sasha and Bayley. It landed with a satisfying impact, staining their newly cleaned hair. Next, it oozed down their heads, covering their faces. The feeling of the putrid filth covering their hair and faces, pouring down their skin, was overwhelming.

The manure began to ooze down their bodies. It went from their breasts, down to their stomachs, then their butts and crotches, and then down their legs. The ladies now had to deal with the feeling of the manure dripping down their bare skin, a feeling that was indescribably uncomfortable. The smell was just as bad. Soon, the ladies were completely coated in the brown and green manure, as well as the rancid bits of hay.

When it ended, the ladies, who just moments before were clean, were absolutely coated in manure. However, the audience was still able to see the contours of their bodies, much to Sasha’s distaste. Noel approached them, but kept his distance, selling the smell of the manure.

“Ladies”, he said while trying not to gag, “I think I know the answer, but how do you feel?” Sasha glared at him, “Horrible, Noel, horrible.” Bayley spoke next, “I was actually enjoying this, until you poured manure on me, and then it became much less enjoyable.” Noel chuckled, and the audience hooted and whistled as Sasha and Bayley shuffled to the exit.

Noel stood with Tegan and Dakota at center-stage. “Well”, he began, “we have had a wonderful time here in this tournament. So many teams, but only one stayed clean. You must be thrilled.” Tegan and Dakota nodded in agreement, and the audience applauded. “It was an amazing conclusion, and we hope to see you again sometime soon! Goodnight, from Crinkley Bottom!”

The show returned from another advert break and it opened with a shot of Nikki smiling towards Mia and Holly as she welcomed the viewers back, teasing them that they still had a lot of messy forfeits to dish out and to make sure everyone stayed tuned in until the end of the show.

She revealed that whilst all of the women had sat and watched the Liverpool/Norwich game live they had mixed it up with the West Ham verses Man City and instructed the representatives to not watch it and to avoid the score.

Nikki checked with both women who confirmed they had no idea how the game played out with Holly cheekily asking if it ended 0-0 would they be allowed to just go home.

Nikki laughed, before confirming that definitely was not about to happen she looked to Mia and devilishly said I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, the good news is that Man City had a goal ruled out for off side thanks to VAR.

Mia looked up and smiled, “Yes! Does that mean we managed to keep a clean sheet then?”

Nikki could barely keep a straight face as she replied “Um, No…Not quite”. Before adding that it finished West Ham 0 Manchester City 5, at this news Holly who was off centre cheered wildly whilst Mia just looked down the camera and then slowly turned to Nikki saying only one word.

“SHIT!”

Nikki carried on speaking before finally getting to the forfeits for the minor things she revealed that the possession battle had been won by Man City and therefore for a 16% percentage gap Mia would be getting pied 8 times, in addition to this West Ham had been caught offside twice and so this brought the total number of pies Mia would be facing up to 9.

Mia winced as Nikki finished speaking and stepped over to where a large trolley containing all the pies stood, she wheeled it over until it was next to Mia, who she instructed to sit down on a chair.

Whilst she was still wearing the same outfit Mia who had been standing beside her had got changed out of her West Ham shirt, she now wore a black dress and blue blazer along with her traditional glasses and some high heels.

Once Mia was in position Nikki picked up the first cream pie and held it in front of Mia’s nose teasing her and asking her to smell it, as Mia leant forwards to smell the pie Nikki suddenly lifted it up and slammed it into Mia’s unsuspecting face, covering her glasses as well.

Once Nikki had stopped smearing the pie around Mia’s face, she was able to spit out some of the innards that she unwilling half swallowed, thanks to the surprise attack, she wiped her eyes and started to say something to Nikki before thinking better of it realising the position that she was in currently.

Nikki picked up two more pies this time banana flavoured ones which she brought smashing down onto Mia’s head and then chest sending banana cream streaming down the front of Mia’s dress, and soaking through the thin material.

Holly joined Nikki for the next one, with a pie sandwich taking place this time some fruit pies were used with strawberry and apple pies coating Mia in a more varied mixture of food, before Nikki returned to using custard cream pies for the next two, one for each of Mia’s breasts as the former pornstar sat on the chair, contemplating how she had managed to end up in such a situation.

Mia was instructed to stand up and turn around so that her back faced towards the camera, as she then leaned forwards to hold onto the back of the chair, sticking her bum out some of the mixed pie mess plopped out from her dress and onto the floor with a splat sound.

Nikki picked up two more pies and pushed the first one into Mia’s right bum cheek, quickly followed by the second chocolate pie to the other cheek, Nikki rubbed the two pies into Mia’s arse before picking up another pie and launching it at the back of Mia’s dress to ensure she was covered in as many places as possible.

The final pie was picked up off the bottom of the trolley and Nikki placed the large overflowing cream pie onto the seat Mia was standing by. Finally instructing her to sit back down as Mia gently lowered herself onto the pie covered seat she squirmed as she felt the cold creamy innards soaking through and reaching her sensitive areas.

The cream oozed out from under her bum and sloshed off the sides of the chair as Nikki made sure Mia kept moving around in the seat for maximum effect, as she left her sitting down, she moved onto explaining the next forfeit.

For committing 6 fouls she would have to spin the wheel once, however before this occurred Nikki ordered Mia to strip naked due to the 5 goals conceded by West Ham.

Mia had kind of expected this from the moment Nikki revealed how bad they had done when she thought back to Lucy ending up in only her thong for conceding 4 goals and so complete nudity seemed the natural next step.

Mia removed her creamy covered blazer and dropped it to the floor, before unzipping her black dress and slowly lowering it to reveal a slightly soggy and stained sexy red bra, after this she turned around and bent over the chair as she pulled her dress down passed her arse revealing a matching red thong.

After this tease she let the ruined dress drop to the floor and stepped out of it, after this she unclasped her bra and flung it towards the crew cheekily, now starting to relax more as she wriggled out of her thong and started to take her custard covered glasses off.

“Actually I think you should keep them on, after all we don’t want you to be saying you couldn’t see what was happening” Nikki laughed after she finished speaking as Mia just sighed and rolled her eyes in response, after this she was led over to the wheel of forfeits and gave it a large spin.

It landed on ‘Ice Cream’ and Mia shuddered at the thought of being covered in cold substances, she was told to sit back on the still pie covered chair as Nikki picked up a container with some melted ice cream in it, the sloppy mixture quickly poured over Mia causing an explosion of coldness flowing through her.

The mix of cholate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream that had been poured into the large container turned a horrible colour as it dripped off Mia’s naked body, the camera zoomed in to show Mia’s erect nipples reacting to the cold.

After this Nikki announced it was time for Mia to suffer the forfeits for the five goals that West Ham had conceded during the game, and up first for one goal was some gunge.

Mia remained in the seat as Nikki brought over a large container filled with light blue gunge and lifted it up above Mia’s head, before she upturned it she told Mia that the gunge had been warmed up for her, as Mia looked up to thank Nikki she upturned it quickly and gave Mia a blue facial, this caused her to open her mouth in shock and swallow some of the ice cream as most dribble down her.

The gunge flow continued to por over Mia’s face and down her body cascading down over her breasts and pooling in her uncovered lap, she could feel it against her pussy, but at least the texture and warmth meant it wasn’t as bad as she had feared, and was a lot nicer than the Ice Cream.

Mia was expecting the next forfeit and so before Nikki even announced it, she carefully stepped towards the gungetank, she sat herself down and looked at Nikki, waiting for the flow to come.

Nikki pulled the cord next to the tank, however no gunge flowed down from above, after a delay the jets located either side of the tank floor sprayed upwards, they’d been angled perfectly and Mia took direct hits to her face and breasts, although the force of the gunge ensured it splashed off and coated her even more than she already was.

She wriggled around on the seat, but was unable to avoid the flow of gunge, and when the sky blue gunge flow died down, Mia thought it was over and was about to stand up, however just as she motioned to do this a further torrent of this time thicker gloopy white gunge flowed down onto her from above, she looked up and almost intentionally gave herself a gunge facial, which amused Nikki and Holly who thought the gunge resembled cum, the irony of the situation not lost on them.

After this the completely covered Mia was allowed out of the tank, however her forfeits were not finished yet and so Nikki led her over to the a more traditional pillory, unlike the one Lucy had been in Mia was made to bend over at a ninety degree angle and was secured in the wooden structure with her head and hands through the holes.

The exposed former pornstar was more comfortable with being tied up than Lucy had been, and Mia was able to think back to those few months when she was an adult performer and distance her thoughts from the scene around her.

Nikki asked Sam to help her and together they lifted a large container of savoury slop that had been scooped up from earlier, they upturned it and slowly poured the contents over the helpless Mia who squealed as the slop plashed down onto her, they slowly manoeuvred the tub to ensure that the slop flowed not only over Mia’s head but also coated her entire back and flowed off her bum.

After this Nikki picked some pies up and smashed the first savoury one into Mia’s face before Sam slammed two fruit pies into Mia’s ass cheeks, coating one in strawberry and the other in apple pie, she rubbed the mess into Mia’s bare skin as encouraged by Nikki.

Once Mia was suitability re-coated in pies and slop Nikki carefully removed the lock on the wooden beam and then lifted it up, trying to avoid splashing herself with the sticky mess dripping off the beam, Mia was allowed to stand up and then move to the gungetank.

Once inside she knew what to expect following on from Lucy’s messing earlier on, and so when Nikki sent the mud crashing down on top of her, she was not surprised, however the sheer coldness caught her out which made Nikki laugh as Mia screamed out multiple swear words.

The flow of the mud continued to rain down on Mia who had managed to move her head out of the firing line however all this meant was the impact zone moved to her chest and so her large breasts took the brunt of the cold muddy force, brown sludge slid down her body, entering every crevice before it eventually pooled on the floor.

Like Lucy before, she had been sceptical how this onslaught would have been worse than the pillory, however she had quickly learnt when it was best not to question the order of the forfeits, her only worry was what would goal number five be, she shuddered at the thought as Nikki allowed her to step out of the tank.

 Nikki revealed to much fanfare from the audience a large giant wheel, it clearly had some straps in specific places so that someone could be strapped against the wheel with their arms and legs spread apart, Mia was naturally going to the victim.

After some help from a few crewmembers Mia was now strapped against the large wheel, Nikki teased her a little bit joking about what might be about to happen, as Mia tried to banter with her, however her confident attitude now waning.

The wheel started to slowly spin and Nikki, Holly and Sam stood back watching her rotate for a while as the motor increased the speed, as Mia was spinning around some of the muddy slop was dripping off her body.

Nikki was given a hosepipe and started to spray the exposed Mia and wash off some of the muck, however Mia’s hopes of the surprise being just a strange cleaning event were dashed when members of the audience were invited down onto the stage and handed gunge guns.

The audience members started to plaster Mia in gunge once more, 5 different jets were used each one with a different colour (Red Blue Yellow Green and Pink) this meant that was Mia was rotated around she constantly got sprayed by each person at a different spot.

Nikki had explained to Holly and Sam how to use a pie catapult and they were now launching custard cream pies at the same spot which meant that even when they missed Mia’s head or feet the creamy custard filling either splashed or dripped down onto her.

As she turned a murky grey colour thanks to the gunge, she continued to spin as more and more pies hit their intended target, with Sam improving her aim leading to more cream pie facial for Mia much to the audiences’ amusement.

Eventually Nikki called to a halt the messing of Mia, and the wheel slowly stopped spinning around until Mia was left in an upright position, Nikki asked her how she felt. “Sick” was all Mia could be heard saying as she spat out more custard and gunge.

“Unfortunately, we haven’t got time to get the crew back onto the stage right now, so you’ll have to hang in there until the show finishes before we let you down”

The audience groaned at Nikki’s bad joke, and Mia just shook her head sending more mock splatting down onto the floor around her, not that it made any difference.

—

Nikki turned her attention towards Holly, who had never been happier to be a Manchester City fan, as she had looked on in horror at seeing the state than Mia and Lucy had ended up in.

Holly was even more satisfied when Nikki explained that because Man City kept a clean sheet, won the possession battle they would be avoiding some serious messy forfeits.

However, Holly who was starting to wonder whether she’d actually have a miracle escape and stay clean, had her hopes dashed when it was revealed that Man City had fouled West Ham on 13 occasions, and Nikki confirmed this would mean two pies for Holly.

They were brought out and Holly stood still, she tensed slightly as Nikki picked up the first one and carefully brought it Holly’s face, she teased her for a moment before saying “I think you need a closer look” and she finally pushed the pie into Holly’s face.

The cream oozed out from within the pie and dribbled down from Holly’s face and into her cleavage as Nikki mushed the pie onto Holly’s face ensuring she also coated hair, the cold sensation giving her a tingling feeling as she waited for the next pie.

As Nikki picked up the second pie and this time went straight for Holly’s cleavage smashing the custard pie and rubbing the pie innards over the top of her dress, custard could be seen streaming down the front of Holly’s dress.

Nikki then confirmed that Holly would only have to face one my type of forfeit, this time for offsides with Holly being required to spin the wheel twice to find out her forfeit, she finally wiped her eyes clear and followed Nikki to the forfeit wheel giving it a large tug.

The wheel eventually stopped spinning on ‘Eggs’ and Holly groaned she hated eggs at the best of times and now she knew she would be getting covered in them it was a disaster.

Nikki picked up two containers of eggs and gave one to Sam, who she called over to join them, each of them now armed with 6 eggs they approached the retreating Holly who had to be ordered to stay still unless she wanted an additional forfeit.

This stopped Holly in her tracks and so reluctantly she stood still as Nikki and Sam smashed their first eggs onto the top of Holly’s head, she could be seen screwing up her face in disgust as the yolk slid down.

The next two eggs were cracked above her head once more, Nikki using one hand to move the egg around and mix it into Holly’s hair much to her displeasure, before they targeted her bottom for the next pair of eggs each, with Holly being made to turn around and bend over as the four eggs were smashed and rubbed into her ass with only her short dress offering little protection from egg and TV cameras.

Finally Nikki walked around the front and smashed the two final eggs she had just above Holly’s cleavage in a similar place to where she had pied her, quickly pulling out the front of her dress to ensure the yolk slid inside causing Holly to yelp in surprise as at the same time unbeknownst to her Sam had done something similar and was putting the eggs down her back.

This caused Holly to arch her back putting further emphasis on her large breasts, something the TV director noticed and ensured the cameras were aimed at the unimpressed model.

Fortunately for Holly her ordeal was over and so she was allowed to head off to the showers, something she did not hesitate to do, wanting to get the egg out of her hair as soon as possible.

“Now finally it is time for one happy Liverpool fan and one idiot, me, to get messy” Nikki explained before moving on to revealing that during the preview show members of the audience had been asked to predict who would score the goals during the match.

She announced that three players had been successfully picked, with Salah and Origi for Liverpool and Pukki for Norwich, as a result of this Nikki and Sam would have to remove three items of clothing.

Sam who was wearing her own full Liverpool kit slowly lifted her shirt off, glad that she would be able to keep it clean along with the shorts and football socks which she was allowed to remove under CSWL rules due to them not being stockings.

This left Sam in just her sexy red thong and bra, Nikki instructed her to twirl for the audience and Sam received several wolf whistles from appreciative male members of the audience along with some cheers from the women.

After this it was Nikki’s turn and she undid her shirt buttons and removed it, carelessly flinging it to one side of the stage before she sexily shimmied out of her skirt bending over as she lowered it to give the audience a great view of her ass.

Nikki knew she had to remove one more item of clothing and unlike Sam she was in stockings and suspenders, white and purple coloured. She also had on a barely their matching purple g-string and bra that latter she opted to take off, freeing her large breasts on TV once again, something she was now well used to doing and therefore making no effort to cover them up.

The audience whooped and cheered as Nikki twirled on the spot like Sam had done before, after this she announced that a random selection had taken place between the members of crew to decide which forfeit Nikki and Sam would jointly face.

When it was revealed on the big screen that the Gungetank had been selected Nikki grinned, she loved going into gungetanks and feeling the slime all over her, although she’d have to be careful to ensure people didn’t notice.

Sam was relieved, having watching the show and even helped out with some of the forfeits she realised just what she was letting herself in for, and so a trip to the gungetank didn’t seem so bad in comparison, especially when she looked up at the still dripping Mia strapped to the wheel.

The naked Nikki and underwear clad Sam walked towards the gungetank and stepped inside on after another, sitting down on the cold and still gungey seat, they huddled together as Lucy Verasamy emerged from the side of the stage.

The Norwich City representative had washed and changed, she was now wearing yoga legging and a tank top, with her still damp hair tied back out of the way, she stood next to the tank and teased Nikki and Sam for a few moments before finally releasing the gunge.

Yellow gunge flowed down, initially it hit Nikki’s shoulder and sensing this she moved her head more into the middle of the tank to ensure that the gunge flowed down onto it, this also splashed gunge onto Sam who giggled as she felt the slimy substance start to wash over her body.

As the gunge continued to fall form above 4 jets located in each corner of the floor in the tank opened up and sprayed the two women from every angle with gunge now hitting Nikki’s face and side of her breasts whilst Sam go blue and red gunge coming at her crotch and back of her head, she shivered as the gunge flowed down into the back of her thong.

The four jets and normal gunge from above continued to rain down on the two now very gungee victims, as it started to fill up in the tank all the way to near their chests, Nikki closed her eyes and lifted her face to allow the gunge to flow down onto her directly as she moved one hand under the gunge to tease herself.

Sam sat oblivious next to Nikki as the gunge flow had completely obscured her vision and she was distracted by the thought of being forced to swim in the tank if it continued to fill up.

As the gungeflow subsided and the gunge in the tank drained away Nikki was able to quickly compose herself so that she could step out of the tank and wave goodbye to the audience along with the similarly gungey Sam with Lucy being allowed to close off the show.

Disclaimer; Now for something completely different. This story is complete fantasy, some people might not like the concept of this one, so feel free to skip it if it isn’t for you, also no mess in this part just set up.

Around six months ago my dad decided to get remarried, as a result of this my new step mother and step-sister moved into our house, this wasn’t a bad thing as both of them were pretty attractive even if they were my step family now.

My step-sister Hannah especially so, the problem was ever since we first met when she came around the house a few months before the marriage she took a liking to me, and by this I mean she took a liking to teasing me.

At any given moment she would tease me, most of the time she would try and do it at the worst possible moments, whether at the dinner table, just before I was getting ready or especially when I had friends over.

She’d even started to volunteer to pick me up after practice sometimes so she could tease me and my friends, always now wearing low cut tops, bending over suggestively, eating things in a dirty manner, you name it she did it.

Despite all of this though we did actually get along pretty well, when she wasn’t teasing me at least, we had a good time together hanging out, less as step siblings and more just as friends, although she was five years older than me.

I was 18 and still at college, whereas she was working in an office in HR apparently, not that I really paid attention to what the specifics of her job were, all I really knew was she liked to take the time to dress as a smart business woman.

—

Present day

I was chatting my friend Kate who looked sexy as ever in her uniform rule bending short skirt and tight top, she was on the college social committee and explained how they were organising the summer party and would had decided on getting a gunge tank for it as a special surprise for an unlucky victim.

I didn’t really know what she was on about until she got her phone out and showed me some old clips from TV shows whereby someone, usually a woman had lost a challenge or something and had to sit inside the gungetank.

I couldn’t help but enjoy watching it, seeing how sloppy and destroyed the women got, thinking how good it would be for one of the hot girls at the college to end up going in the tank.

One of the videos she showed me was of a singer,

After while we had finished eating and so I brought the subject back up, having been unable to get the images out of my mind, I asked who they had that would be going in the gungetank, then I jokingly added whether Kate who most people in our year thought was very attractive would be going inside.

She looked disapprovingly at me and said “only in your dreams” then after a pause she added “so far it’s only a couple of the guys from the football team who agreed to do it, I’m looking forward to seeing them only in their swimming shorts”

I groaned, thinking about how disappointing this was, only 15 minutes ago I had no idea what a gungetank was but now that I had got my hopes up Kate had quickly dashed them.

Seeing my disappointed reaction she spoke again

“Well if you want to see if a girl go into the tank you can always try and help us convince one, we’ve tried all the cheerleaders and a bunch of other ones and none of them have been willing to give it a go”

Not knowing exactly how I’d be able to convince anyone seeing as Kate and her committee usually had quite a strong sway over the students, partly why I suspected the guys she had spoken to had agreed to do it was because they had Kate asking.

I shrugged my shoulders and said “sure, I’ll give it a go”

She smiled and me and then held out her hand and as I looked after her quizzingly she grabbed my hand and shook it, adding “its official if you can convince someone to go in the tank, I’ll make it happen”.

My next few classes were spent imaging which of my hot fellow classmates I’d like to try and get into the gungetank with Nat, Lisa, Jess being amongst the most prominent.

By the time I got home that evening I had decided to have look online at some more gungings, ensuring to shut my door so I wouldn’t be disturbed I sat down to  find more gungetank scenes, as I fell deeper and deeper into my ‘research’ I discovered the messy theme expanded into my more than just gungetanks.

Some shows I found online like Secretary one was great fun amongst others, when suddenly my attention was snapped back to reality as Hannah came barging into my room, telling me that dinner was ready, however she had noticed that I was deeply engrossed with what I was watching.

Fortunately, I quickly reacted and switched windows, she looked at my screen and then eyed me suspiciously before she laughed and said I really need to be a bit more clever when watching porn, she teased me saying “I bet you love watching office porn” as she bent over showing off her stunning figure in her short tight skirt and blouse outfit.

I didn’t say anything, deciding it was easier to let her think I was watching some basic porn than what I was actually doing, as we sat down Hannah began to say “You’ll never guess what I caught Ben watching….” However, she noticed me glaring and tailed off and changed the subject.

A new idea came to mind at this point, I should try and get Hannah to end up in the gungetank, I knew Kate wouldn’t mind the fact she wasn’t a student.

The only tough bit was making it happen, I excused myself for the table and headed up to my room in order to formulate a plan. A couple of hours later I sent Kate a message telling her I had an idea for who we could get into the tank, I just needed her help to finalise it.

After making me promise I was not lying or planning to do something that would leave her being forced into the tank she agreed to help and so we met up at a bar so I could explain the plan.

I explained to Kate that my target was my step sister, and because I knew she wouldn’t say yes if I straight up asked her I needed another approach, I wanted to make it sound like I was asking her to help out with the social event, telling her she’d be the star.

I knew she would go for it, because what better way to tease me than to have all of my college friends and more admiring her, Kate agreed with the plan clearly thinking that it would be good to get one back at Hannah who had flirted massively with her ex at one point.

Kate suggested we make her sign an ‘official’ contract and to make it even more proper we should say it is for charity, knowing she could divert some of the committee’s cash to a charity pot, with our plan sorted we both headed home.

At home I joined Hannah on the sofa, she’d now changed into her casual yoga leggings and top and was relaxing watching some trashy TV program, I decided to start planting the seed about her helping out with the summer event.

Unsurprisingly Hannah was quick to agree to help out, and so I said to her that the committee are being a bit weird and want to make people sign contracts, she smugly replied “Well Ben, in business when you do a deal you regularly sign contracts, this way it is harder for both parties to break it or change their minds”

Fortunately, Hannah didn’t notice me grin as she lectured me about business acumen, I sent a message to tell Kate we were on and she replied to let me know she’d written up the ‘contract’ and would bring it in tomorrow.

—

At college the next day I met up with Kate and she gave me the contract so that I could safely put it away and give it to Hannah when I got home, she then offered to let me have a look at the gungetank because it had arrived in the morning.

I followed her into the backstage area of the theatre set, which was evidently being used as a storage room for it and we reached the corner where a big rectangular object was covered in plastic sheets obscuring it from prying eyes.

She asked me to help and we pulled the covers off, I stood back to look at the gungetank in all it’s glory, it was bigger than I had imagined and had a little bench inside where I presumed the chosen victim would sit.

Above them was a large funnel, which led from a big box above the gungetank, I guessed which would conceal the gunge, the back and sides of the tank where a clear persplex type material so that whoever would be inside the tank could look and would be visible from all angles.

At the front a clear door which only went to half way up the tank, was bolted shut as Kate unlocked it and stepped inside, she sat down and sexily said “I bet this is where you wish I would end up, well Ben It’s not going to happen” she teased as she stepped back out of the tank and we put the plastic covers back over it.

After college I went home and waited for Hannah to get back, she sought me out before I could even give her the papers, and enquired if I had picked them up.

When I handed them to her, she barely gave herself a chance to read them before signing them and hanging them back to me, grinning enthusiastically she told me she was looking forward to teasing and showing off to all of my friends at the event.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Alright, so for personal reasons, im lightening my load so to speak. However, I am still gonna try to produce content. So Ive decided to begin the Battle of the Athletes.

This will go on during NFL season. There will be 2 teams of 10 female athletes and or sports personalities. Each team will have a Legends Captain. Each week, a female from each team will face each other in head-to-head competition, with one getting messy in a different way each week. They will be tied to one of the teams playing on Sunday Night Football for that week. Who gets slimed depends on who wins the Sunday Night football game for that week. Whoever is tied to the losing team for that week will get slimed.Whoever’s NFL team for that week wins (and thus they stay clean) wins that week for their team. These wins will add up.

Now, Week 10 will be a special week. The captains will face each other that week, and the loser will receive an epic, head-to-toe, gold sliming. But theres a catch. Going into that week, due to the odd number of prior weeks, there will be a team that has more wins than the other. If the team that has less wins going into Week 10 loses Week 10, then their captain will get gold slimed. But if the team that has more wins going into Week 10 loses Week 10, then the ENTIRE team will get a mega-gold sliming. It’s all or nothing.

So here are the teams:

Team 1

Lindsey Vonn

Alex Morgan

Maria Sharapova

Paige Van Zant

Demi Runas

Ronda Rousey

Jamie Erdahl

Amanda Kessel

Rachel Bonnetta

Captain: Anna Kournikova

Team 2

Mikaela Shiffrin

Julie Ertz

Caroline Wozniacki

Miesha Tate

Paige Spirinac

Lana

Jenny Dell

Hilary Knight

Katie Nolan

Captain: Natalie Coughlin

Week 1: Skiing

Bears- Lindsey Vonn

Packers-Mikaela Shiffrin

Slime dunk tank: The loser will be dunked in a massive tank of slime.

Week 2: Soccer

Steelers- Alex Morgan

Patriots- Julie Ertz

Slime Gatorade Bath: The loser will get a gatorade cooler of slime dumped over them for every touchdown scored. 

Week 3: Tennis

Falcons- Maria Sharapova

Eagles- Caroline Wozniacki

Slime shower: The loser enters a shower that will slime them from head to toe. For every touchdown scored, the sliming will go on for an additional 5 seconds.

Week 4: MMA

Rams- Paige Van Zant

Browns- Miesha Tate

Slime pies: The loser receives a slime pie for every touchdown scored.

Week 5: Golf

Saints- Demi Runas

Cowboys- Paige Spirinac

Slime umbrella: Loser sits under an umbrella which will bathe them in slime. For every touchdown scored, the sliming will go on for an additional 5 seconds.

Week 6: Wrestling

Chiefs- Ronda Rousey

Colts- Lana

Slime battle royal: The winner gets to throw the loser over the top rope, and into a big pool of slime.

Week 7: Reporters

Chargers- Jamie Erdahl

Steelers- Jenny Dell

Slime cameras: Loser sits and is surrounded by camera’s. These camera’s will slime them from all sides.

Week 8: Hockey

Cowboys- Amanda Kessel

Eagles- Hilary Knight

Slime penalty box: The loser goes into a penalty box that will slime them from all sides.

Week 9: Personalities

Chiefs- Rachel Bonnetta

Packers- Katie Nolan

The loser gets slimed with a hose.

Week 10: Captains

Ravens- Anna Kournikova

Patriots: Natalie Coughlin

Gold Slime All or Nothing

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

“Hi and welcome back to the sports show. I’m Glen and just before the advert break we asked for your suggestions for how the lovely Michelle should get messy.”

The brunette is looking a little apprehensive as she waits for Glen to continue.

Glen: “We’ve had quite a few suggestions! Michelle, would you like me to go through some of my favourites?

Michelle: “If you must!”

Glen: “Now I have to say this is a pretty humiliating one. You have to sit in a bath of rancid tuna mayo……..in your underwear!”

Michelle: “Ugggh!”

Glen: “Do you like butter Michelle?”

Michelle: “Er, Yes”

Glen: “…and do you like peanuts?”

Michelle: “I suppose they are alright to eat as a snack”

Glen: “That’s good, as you will like this other suggestion. For you to get covered in peanut butter from head to toe.”

Michelle: “Hey, just because I like butter and peanuts, doesn’t necessarily mean I would enjoy getting slathered with peanut butter.”

Glen: “Ok, Ok, if you didn’t like that one, you definitely won’t like this. You get to be dropped into a tank of manure, naked!”

Michelle is open-mouthed at hearing this “That truly is disgusting. I hope I don’t pick that one out!”

Glen: “Lets put you out of your misery, so can you put your hand in the tombola to choose your messy fate.”

Gingerly, Michelle dangles her hand into the opening and rummages around until she settles on a particular piece of paper and pulls it out.

Glen: “Go on then, read it out!”

Michelle: “It says that I will be dipped in chocolate while wearing just underwear!”

The presenter looks ruefully into the camera and sarcastically says “Thank you to the viewer who suggested that!”

Glen: “Michelle, if you can follow me please.”

Both presenters stand up and walk to the middle of the studio.

Glen: “Before we carry on, you had better take that cardigan and dress off!”

Michelle sighs and starts to take her outer garments off. This leaves her in a black basque, black knickers, black hold-up stockings and black high heel shoes.

Glen winks at the camera “Very sexy!”

To their left is a mini-crane which has ropes dangling down. With a wry smile, Michelle stands under the crane and has her arms raised. Glen secures her hands with the rope.

A loud noise could be heard from the side of the studio and Michelle turns her head to see what is making it. She sees a couple of stagehands wheeling on a large dunk-tank who leave it at the side of the crane.

The dunk-tank is a foot higher than the brunette bombshell, and she lets out a loud ‘tut’ as the crane starts to lift her off the ground until she is above the height of the dunk-tank. The crane stops and then moves Michelle horizontally until she is directly above the dunk-tank.

Peering down, the 29 year old can see the brown sloshy substance beneath her, and a waft of chocolate aroma filled her nostrils to confirm it was indeed chocolate sauce.

Glen: “Your saucy black underwear is not going to stay black for very long! Haha!”

Michelle: “Very funny!”

Glen: “Ok, so this is the moment the viewers have been waiting for. Please start the dip!”

Michelle lets out a little squeal as the crane jerks back into life and starts to lower the brunette. Her high heel shoes and stockinged feet are the first to go in.

Michelle: “Yuck! That’s seeping right between my toes!”

The dipping continues and soon she is up to her waist in the chocolate sauce, when the crane stops all of a sudden.

Glen: “How does that feel Michelle?”

Michelle: “Very sloppy and sticky. I can feel the sauce soaking into my knickers!”

Glen: I’m sure that’s a nice sensation for you.”

Glen then shouts off stage to an unknown person at the side “Shall we let her off, and take her out now? Or shall we dip her fully in?”

Momentarily, Michelle was hopeful that she was only going to have her bottom half covered in chocolate but that thought was soon dashed as the unknown person replied “Dip her fully in!”

The crane started up again and lowered Michelle down further, until her head was just above the surface when the crane suddenly stopped again.

Glen: “Do you know what! I’m not sure we can mess up that lovely face of yours and your silky hair!”

Michelle: “Oh good, am I going to be pulled out now then?”

Glen: “Only joking Ha Ha! You’re going fully in! Take a deep breath!”

The crane lowered her a little further until her head was fully below the surface. After a few seconds, the crane reversed its movement and started to pull Michelle out of the chocolate sauce. Bit by bit, more of the chocolate coated Michelle came into view. Her hair was matted, and her face dripping with chocolate. Her underwear was saturated with the sauce and glistened under the studio lights.

The crane returned the brunette to terra firma and Glen untied her hands. Her first action was to wipe her face and eyes and to try and slick back her chocolate smothered hair.

Both Glen and Michelle returned to their seats. On Michelle’s seat was a towel to prevent her seat getting any chocolate on it.

Glen: “Well, I have to say that was very enjoyable!”

Michelle: “Not everyone enjoyed that!”

Glen: “What do you mean? Oh I see, you mean you.”

Michelle: “Yes!”

Glen: “I forgot to tell you that you have to present the sports news in the messy state you are currently in, for the next hour, and then you can go and get a hot shower and put some clean clothes on”

Michelle rolls her eyes and throws her arms in the air “This just gets better and better!”

Glen smiles to the camera and they continue with the sports news reporting, with Michelle squirming in her underwear and the chocolate sauce starting to slowly harden on her skin under the studio lights.

At the end of the show, Glen announces a poll for next Sunday’s show

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

”Welcome to another edition of Sports News. My name is Jo Wilson.”

“On my right hand side should be Glen. Does anyone know where he is, as we’ve got a show to do!”

Glen makes a late appearance and sits down next to Jo.

Glen: “Sorry Jo, I was just getting some last minute instructions from the producer.”

Jo: “Oh really! Anything I need to be updated on?”

Glen: “Actually yes, we are going to have a programme format change for the next hour.”

Jo: “Eh, so what’s the change?”

Glen: “As it’s a pretty slow day for sports news, and the astounding success of the inaugural programme ‘Let’s get messy with…’ the Producer has decided we will do the second episode right now.”

Jo pauses for a moment before smiling “You mean you are going to get messy! Fantastic!”

Glen laughs and points to Jo “That’s a funny joke!”

Glen: “I am afraid it’s always the lady presenter which gets the pleasure of getting messy (that’s contractual!) so that means it will be you!”

Jo: “Noooooooo!”

Glen: “So we will be asking the viewers for ideas to get you messy and to also choose what you will be wearing. We will put all the ideas we receive into a tombola and then you will be asked to pull one of the ideas out, and that’s the messy fate you will receive”

Jo: “Oh my god!”

Glen: “Do you know what, I think I will enter an idea. Do you want to know what it is?

Jo: “I shudder to think what it’s going to be.”

Glen: “My idea is for you to wear a nurse’s uniform and to go in the pillory and get pelted with eggs and rotten tomatoes.”

Jo closes her eyes and scowls at the thought.

Glen: “The producer has told me that he wants to submit an idea as well. He wants to see you in a mankini and to be dunked in a tank of rice pudding.”

Jo: “Gross!”

Glen: “So viewers get your ideas in, and rejoin us after the break when we will find out what is in store for Jo.”

Jo reaches out and touches Glen’s arm “Is there anything I can do to get out of this?”

Glen: “Sorry Jo, but it is within your contract.”

Authors Note: You know the drill now. Put your suggestions as to how you want to see Jo get messy, and one of them will be used in part 2 of the story

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Glen: ”Hi again, and we’re back from the advert break. Jo has been waiting patiently to learn her fate in our second edition of ‘Let’s have some messy fun with……”

Jo: “I can’t believe that I am going to have to do this!”

Glen: “We have put all the ideas into the tombola. But before you pick one out Jo, I’m just going to go through some of the viewers ideas, that you are at risk of pulling out.”

Jo: “If you must!”

Glen: “By the way, have you got your best underwear on?”

Jo: “Why?”

Glen: “Because one of the viewers wants to see you in your undies and tarred and feathered!”

Jo: “What!”

Glen: “Don’t worry Jo, we won’t use actual tar if that is the idea that is chosen. We’ll use a more safer substitute such as black treacle.”

Sarcastically, Jo answers “Oh well that’s ok then !”

Glen: “It would mean your beautiful long blonde hair would turn into a black sloshy mess and you would have to spend quite some time in the shower afterwards to get all of it washed out.”

Jo just gives Glen an evil look.

Glen: “Another viewer has a very inventive idea for you. Your hands and ankles would be cuffed to two vertical bars so that you are in a vertical spread eagle position. One by one, your clothing will be cut off and replaced by that part of the body being ‘painted’ by different substances. Your trousers replaced by cooking oil, your top half replaced with custard, your bra replaced by treacle and your knickers replaced with chilli sauce. How would you like that!”

Jo looks at Glen with utter contempt “What do you think?”

Glen: “Haha, I take that as a ‘no’ then”

Jo rolls her eyes.

Glen: “Without further ado, lets see what is in store for you Jo. Can you select an idea from the tombola please.”

Gingerly, Jo puts her hand in and rummages about a bit with her hand before pulling a solitary piece of paper out. She hands it to Glen without reading it.

Glen: “Thanks Jo. I can tell you that you have selected the following messy idea: You are going to be hogtied and suspended from a rope connected to a crane, and dunked into a vat of methylcellulose.”

Jo: “What the hell is that?”

Glen: “Its a substance that’s very similar in consistency to cum.”

Jo: “You are joking! It’s going to look like i’ve been covered in semen!”

Glen: “I guess so, but I hadn’t quite finished all of the idea. The viewer has also requested you to wear a micro slingshot bikini.”

Jo: “Noooooo!”

Glen: “I’m afraid so. You better get yourself off to the changing room while we get the mess ready for when you return.”

Jo trudged off the studio floor, swearing under her breath.

Stagehands were active as they brought on the vat of methylcellulose and the crane. A few minutes later, an embarrassed Jo walked out wearing the tiniest white micro slingshot bikini and white high heel shoes.

Glen was open-eyed as he saw Jo walking back onto the stage “Oh hello Jo, that bikini really suits you!”

Jo: “Shut up Glen, and let’s get this over with”

Jo was asked to lie on her front, and she had her wrists and ankles secured by rope to leave her in a hogtied position. The rope dangling from the crane was secured to the rope around her wrists and ankles, and the crane started to lift the hogtied blonde into the air.

The crane stopped when Jo was at Glen’s head height, and Glen wandered over so that he was inches from Jo’s face.

Glen: “How are you feeling Jo? Excited?”

Jo: “Errr no, quite the opposite really!”

Glen: “We have decided we are going to give you a chance to avoid the dunking. If you can articulate a good argument why we shouldn’t dunk you, then we’ll let you off.”

Jo pauses for a moment before using her neck muscles to pull her face up so that she is able to look directly into the camera.

Jo: “Please don’t dunk me. I’m going to my best friends birthday party tonight and I fear that if I get dunked it will take me ages to wash all the gunk out of my hair, and I will miss the party and my best friend will be distraught. Also, I don’t deserve to be dunked, as there’s a few of the other sports presenters that deserve it more than me!”

A pause in proceedings followed as Glen considered Jo’s argument.

Glen: “Those are good reasons, but I am afraid they are not good enough, so we are still going to dunk you!”

Jo: “Drat!”

The crane started to lift Jo, who let out a little squeal. Once she was above the height of the vat, the crane moved Jo horizontally until she was directly above the tank.

Jo looked beneath her to see the white gloopy stuff in the tank below. The blonde closed her eyes and swore under her breath as she contemplated what was about to happen.

She didn’t have to wait long, as the crane lurched into action and started to lower the hogtied presenter. The crane suddenly stopped at the point where Jo was inches from touching the sticky surface. The ends of her long blonde hair were however dipping into the gloop.

Glen: “You are about to get dunked Jo. Any last words?”

Jo sighed and looked resigned to her fate as she looked directly into the camera “I hope you are all going to enjoy seeing this!”

As Glen chuckled, the crane started to lower Jo again and she squealed as she hit the gloopy surface and was lowered fully into it, until she was completely submerged.

After a few seconds the blonde was raised out of the methylcellulose to reveal her whole body was coated with the sticky white stuff, with it dripping off her body. Her long blonde hair was now matted with the gloopy liquid.

Glen: “Did you enjoy your dip in the methylcellulose?”

Jo turned her head to look Glen in the eye and mouthed a swear word to him.

Glen: “Oh! That’s not very lady-like. I think we need to teach you some manners! Therefore for the rest of the hour we are going to dunk you in the vat at regular intervals.”

Jo: “You can’t!”

Glen: “Oh yes we can”

As Glen returned to his seat, Jo was dunked again in the vat and then promptly lifted out. Glen was true to his word as Jo was dunked at 5 minute intervals with camera close-ups taking place every time that happened. By the end of the hour, Jo was completely covered in the white stick stuff, and looked like she had been involved in a porn film.

Glen: “A big thank you to Jo for being such a good sport for ‘agreeing’ to take part in ‘Lets have some messy fun with……’. I can also announce that the next episode will feature the lovely Natalie Pinkham. Until then, goodbye”

Author’s Note: Natalie’s reaction to finding out she’s starring in the next episode…

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Glen: “It’s that time again and welcome to the sports news show. My name is Glen and I am joined tonight by the delectable Natalie Pinkham”

Natalie: “Good evening everyone, and we have some important sports news to update you all on. It’s the Belgian Grand Prix this weekend and…..”

Glen interrupts Natalie “Sorry Natalie, but we have much more important news to announce”

A perplexed Natalie answers “What do you mean?”

Glen: “Its time for another edition of ‘Lets have some messy fun with……”

A shocked Natalie is speechless

Glen: “Yes, this is when we ask you the viewers to submit ideas for how the lovely Natalie gets messy and also what she will be wearing.”

Natalie: “Oh my god! I’ve seen what happened to Michelle Owen and Jo Wilson in the previous episodes. I really hope I don’t pick out an idea that is too humiliating or messy!”

Glen: “We’ll just have to wait and see what ideas the viewers submit. In fact, I’ve already received an idea from a viewer who was anticipating that you would be starring on our new show.”

Natalie: “Really! What did they come up with?”

Glen starts reading from a card he picks up “I must admit I quite like this idea as well. The viewer has suggested that you wear a tight white t-shirt and denim cut-offs, and get tied to a strippers pole. You then get hosed down with water before being splattered from head to toe with custard pies”

Natalie: “Yuck! I would get custard and cream in my lovely hair”

Natalie: “This could also be very embarrassing for me. I guess that I wouldn’t be allowed to wear a bra underneath the t-shirt?”

Glen furiously scribbles on the card he is reading from, before looking up again to face the camera “Correct, the viewer has specified you wouldn’t be allowed to wear any underwear.”

Natalie puts her finger on her lips quizzically “Have you just made that up?”

Glen: “Of course not! I am a complete professional and I would never do anything like that.”

Natalie huffs “A likely story!”

Glen winks at the camera as he finishes the sentence which isn’t seen by Natalie.

Glen: “We’ve also had an idea from your F1 colleague Rachel Brooks.”

Natalie: “What! I can’t believe my good friend and colleague has done that! Wait till I see her in Belgium at the weekend.”

Glen: “Perhaps you can return the favour in a future episode. But I can tell you that Rachel wants to see you in your underwear, getting your knickers filled with custard and then getting a wedgie!”

Natalie: “How dare she even say that! The thought of the custard going everywhere makes me shudder!”

Glen smiles as he looks at his watch “We are just about to go to an advert break, so viewers please submit your ideas for how you want to see Natalie get messy. When we return from the break, Natalie will get to choose one of the ideas from a tombola, and she will receive that messy fate.”

A sarcastic Natalie looks into the camera “I can’t wait”

Glen: “Perhaps you can view it as a nice send-off before you jet off to the Circuit de-Spa Francorchamps”

Author’s Note: You know the drill. Put your suggestions for Natalie in the comments below, and one of them will be chosen…..

All characters are fictional and any resemblance to real persons is coincidence.

ROUND 1: Ice Cream, You Scream

Waves crash, seagulls screech, a Wurlitzer organ warbles Oh I Do Like To Be the Seaside. The setting for the first game is a promenade, with beach and sea forming a backdrop behind some railings. To one side of the set are two mocked-up ice-cream vans – one with red detailing and one with blue. In the window of each van is a tray with regular-spaced holes, and protruding from the roof of each van is a downward curving pipe with a pull-chain dangling from it.

On the other side of the set is a giant dish-shaped pool, the walls of which are silvery (though soft inflatable). A pink substance protrudes from inside this pool.

Stationed by the railings is a Punch and Judy booth, inside which Natalie and Clara rise into view, squashed in and jostling against each other.

Clara: Ugghh!! Keep on your own side, you fat lump!

Natalie: Fat!? It’s only my boobs that are big! Guess you’ll never have that problem, smalltits!

After some more grumbling and shoving – and nearly toppling the booth – the two presenters get themselves settled in position.

Clara: Roll up, roll up! Welcome back to Grudge-2-Sludge, the unique revenge spectacle in which two feuding contestants fight to sling each other into our pool of disgusting sludge!

Natalie: Yuck, it’s only a story [shoves once more against Clara as she repositions her boobs] that will end badly for one of our players! But for now, let’s enjoy the end of summer at the English seaside! And what better than a game of ‘I spy’? I spy with my little eye, something beginning with ‘S’.

Clara: [unamused] Sea.

Natalie: Nope!

Clara: Sand.

Natalie: Nope!

Clara: [losing patience] Sun, then.

Natalie: In this place? You’ll be lucky! No, S is for ‘silly sods’! Look, here they come now!

The usual chorus of audience laughter accompanies the sheepish entrance of the contestants. Prisha and Georgia are wearing giant ice-cream cones. The players’ legs protrude through holes in the bases of the cones, while the rims take a wide berth at the level of their armpits. Underneath, each lady is wearing a sports bra of her player colour (yes, Georgia was persuaded to wear one), while on their heads they are wearing showercaps of either red or blue with white polka dots, their hair fully tucked underneath.

Clara: What a pair of coneheads! Heh heh!

Natalie: [stares, dumbfounded] Clara… are those…

Music plays: Dun dun dunnh!

Natalie: [Stares into the camera as it zooms on her face] …Showercaps!?!

Prisha: Of course. [Pats hers] My hair is far too precious and takes a long time to do! I don’t want to have to keep washing it between each game!

The audience boos upon hearing this, but Georgia, for once, is in agreement with her boss.

Natalie: No doubt you don’t, but you don’t get a choice! Grudge-2-Sludge is all about…

Clara: [nudges Natalie] Nat! Nat! I’m afraid they demanded a showercap clause in their contract and we had to go along with it. We’re a bit short on entries, now we’re getting to the end of the series. Beggars and choosers and all that.

Natalie: But not for the Sludge Sling, surely!

Clara: [smirks] Oh no, not for that! Win or lose, the hair will be coming out for the finale; that’s stipulated in black and white!

Natalie: Well that’s something at least. Anyway ladies, the first game is called Ice Cream, You Scream, and it’s all about serving up the traditional seaside cornet. Unfortunately, there’s been a mix-up, and all of the cones have ended up in the candyfloss!

The bowl-shaped pool is full of a stringy pink substance. Nestling amoungst it are dozens of light-brown ice-cream cones – about three times a regular sized cone.

Clara: Your task is delve into that floss to retrieve a cone, then take it over to the ice-cream dispenser attached to your van. Make sure you go to your own van, or you’ll get the wrong colour!

Natalie: Unfortunately, the aim on those things isn’t very precise, so good luck!

Clara: Then finally, to win those all-important points, you need to place your cone – properly filled, or it won’t count – in the holder in your van window.

Natalie: You get 1 point for a plain ice cream, and a bonus point if you add a flake.

Next to each of the cone holders is a pot full of brown chocolate flakes.

Clara: Now, maybe this all sounds a bit too easy to you…

Georgia: No, it sounds just about right.

Natalie: [firmly] Well to us, it sounds too easy. So we’ve come up with a twist to make it a bit harder. Stuart, come here!

Stuart strolls onto the set, grinning to the audience and taking a bow. He opens his mouth to say something, but Natalie makes a zipping gesture across her lips.

Natalie: Nep! No need to speak! If you would just kindly work your magic.

Stuart waves his wand, and in a twinkle Prisha and Georgia discover bungee cords attached to the backs of the cone costumes they are wearing. The other ends of the cords are attached to the bowl of candy floss.

Clara: Ah yes, much better! Good luck, girls, especially since I believe a bout of the classic British summer weather is on its way!

Natalie: You have ninety seconds on the clock, and that time starts NOW!!

The klaxon blasts, and the two presenters duck inside the Punch and Judy booth much quicker than they emerged. As cautioned by Clara, a light drizzle begins to fall from above, and the organ takes on a manic undertone. The two women hurry into action. Prisha, ever enterprising and expedient, sees if she can obtain a cone from outside the pool, thus avoiding having to go into the candyfloss. But the wall proves too high to reach over.

The high wall proves problematic for Georgia too; the short girl struggles to climb over, and ends up sprawling into the candyfloss head-first. She fights her way upwards through the pink morass, and emerges with tufts of the fibrous mess stuck to her face and showercap, and plenty stuffed inside her cone costume. She spares no time clearing it out, and clambers back over the rim of the bowl, landing in a heap on the floor, while Prisha gingerly climbs over in the other direction, moaning as her legs sink into the candyfloss.

Georgia picks herself up off the floor and charges towards her ice-cream van. The pull-chain is out of reach to her, so she jumps to grab it. It is at this moment that the slack on her bungee cord runs out, and as she grabs the chain, the cord yanks her back. Blue ice cream splurges out of the nozzle, straight inside Georgia’s cone costume and splashing coldly over her front. But this is the lesser of her worries as the bungee cord yanks her backwards and she tumbles against the wall of the pool. Meanwhile, Prisha is taking her first run-up. She successfully fills her cone from the overhead nozzle, but succumbs to the elastic before she can reach the shelf on her ice cream van. She too goes flying backwards, and the ice cream flies out of her cone and straight into her face, inciting much off-screen laughter from Natalie and Clara.

Georgia gets back on her feet and takes another charge, more prepared and determined than last time. She jumps and yanks the pull-chain, filling her cone but also getting more ice cream poured into her own costume. Ignoring the sensation she charges onwards, and plants her cone into the holder just before the bungee yanks her back. She cheers at her success and then bundles back into the candyfloss.

Prisha then succeeds in planting an ice cream into the holder in her van. Then Georgia plants another. Then Prisha plants one with a flake. Georgia has a bright idea and grabs a handful of flakes, which she drops inside her cone costume to use later. The two women are getting into the rhythm of it, timing their run and rationing their strength just right to beat the bungee. But things are getting harder for them; the light drizzle has intensified to moderate rain. Together with the candy floss (the women’s legs and arms are heavily fluffed) and the spilt ice cream, the rain forms a slick on the floor. Prisha’s and Georgia’s legs wheel comically underneath them as they fight against the bungees. Further mishap occurs when said cords get tangled while the women are rooting around in the candyfloss. Every time they try to get up, they pull each other down. A blame game begins, and they shove each around the giant bowl. The organ plays some dramatic, dissonant chords.

Natalie: Oh wow! A floss fight!

Clara: Stop scraping, ladies! You’ve only ten seconds left!

Prisha frees herself and bundles out of the candyfloss pool, but in her haste forgets to take a cone with her. Cursing herself, she clambers back in. The rain is now coming down in droves.

Natalie and Clara: Nine!! [Audience joins in] EIGHT!! SEVEN!!

Georgia leaps out of the floss pool, going for broke with two cones in her hands. Her greed turns out to be a bad idea, because she ends up dropping both and spilling a load of ice cream down herself.

Natalie, Clara and audience: SIX!! FIVE!! FOUR!!

Prisha is back out of the pool with a cone. She sprints through the driving rain, but loses traction and falls on her face.

Natalie, Clara and audience: THREE!! TWO!! ONE!!!

The klaxon blasts. Accompanying, the organ plays its closing chord.

Natalie’s head pops up in the Punch and Judy booth.

Natalie: STOP!! The game’s over!

The rain stops. Prisha and Georgia pick themselves off the floor and tug at the candyfloss that’s stuck to them.

Natalie: Ah, and look at that – the sun’s out again! Very changeable this weather!

Prisha: Eeeuck! This stuff’s disgusting!

Natalie: [sharply] I’m not gonna take any complaints from someone who’s been allowed to wear a showercap! Clara, why don’t you get out there and count the cones?

The curtains at the bottom of the booth open and Clara’s scowling face pops out.

Clara: Widen your legs, for goodness sake!

After some further fussing, Natalie complies. Clara crawls out and stands up. She turns her attention towards the ice cream vans.

Clara: Oh dear, oh dear!

Neither contestant’s cache looks that impressive. The ice cream racks are sparsely filled, and several cones are either broken or knocked over.

Natalie: On the plus side, it won’t take long to count. What’ve they got, Clara.

Clara: So… [tots up the cones on Prisha’s ice cream van] Prisha, you have one, two, three, four, five, six cones without a flake – I’m not going to count that one cos it’s almost empty – and two with a flake. That gives you 10 points!

Prisha pulls a tight face as she continues to pull candyfloss off herself.

Natalie: And what about Georgia?

Clara: Georgia has one, two, three, four, five, six flakeless cones – same as Prisha – but she has four cones with a flake – would be five but that one didn’t go in the hole…

Natalie: Oh yes, it doesn’t count if it doesn’t go in the hole…

Clara: So Georgia, you come out of Round 1 with 14 points!

Georgia whoops, while Prisha wears a worried frown.

Natalie: Ooh dear, Prisha doesn’t look happy about that! But hey, it’s early days; plenty of time for things to change. And now it’s time for the pair of you to get cleaned up and changed for the next round. Be gone, cones!

Prisha and Georgia slip and slide their way off-set, continuing to scoop goo out of their costumes.

Clara: We’ll follow them over to Flan the Frauds in just a minute, but first… [picks up a rubber trucheon] let’s carry on with our Punch and Judy show!

Natalie: [alarmed inside the booth] Hey, what’s that… Oww!! [Clara has bopped Natalie on the forehead] Don’t do that! [Clara bops again] Owww!! Stop that!!

Clara: Oh, maybe you prefer it here, then? [Bops Natalie on the tits, eliciting another yelp] Or down here? [swings the truncheon into the curtain at the back of the booth, where Natalie’s bottom would be].

Natalie: Owww!! [Clara swings again] YEEOW!!

Clara: Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside! [keeps smacking away]

Natalie: Yeeoww!! [Smack] OwWW-HOO-HOO!!! Stuart! Come and help me! [Smack] WAA-HOOOWW…!!

The scene fades out.

ROUND 2: Flan the Frauds (Naturist Edition)

The Flan the Frauds title sequence plays and then the scene opens in the relevant part of the stage. As usual, the contestants are lounging in comfortable armchairs, having enjoyed a quick shower and towel-down and redressed into their own clothes. Prisha’s and Georgia’s hair is of course immaculate, unfurled from the showercaps. Also as usual, in front of each player is a table bearing several 1½-foot shaving-foam pies, tinted in a pastel shade of the respective player colour.

More unusual, however, are the seven perspex cylinders stationed in a row opposite the contestants. In each stands a woman, whose head and bare shoulders protrude from the top (each cylinder has been adjusted in height to match the stature of its occupant). The cylinders are illuminated by interior lighting, but also obfuscated by a frosting of the perspex. The clouded figures of the women inside are distinctly flesh-coloured.

Natalie and Clara enter the set in the space between the contestants and the cylinders, the former rubbing her bottom and scowling at the latter.

Natalie: [trying to hide her crossness] Hi there! You’re watching Grudge-2-Sludge and our regular feature Flan the Frauds, and this episode’s edition is without doubt the cheapest yet for our wardrobe department!

Clara: Georgia, you may get complaints from Prisha for clothing yourself on the skimpy side, but in this case you’re very much overdressed, when compared to our line-up! [Gestures the row of frosted cylinders with the unclothed women inside]

Natalie: At Grudge-2-Sludge we may promote mob justice, but we also believe in justice for the mob, and it should be clear by now that coming here to be in our studio audience, expecting to chuckle at someone else’s embarrassment, is a dangerous, dangerous thing to do!

Clara: Dangerous indeed! Because a few hours ago these ladies had no idea they’d be standing starkers in our studio!

To further illustrate Clara’s point, a camera sweeps along the rear of the row, taking in the blurred shapes of the women’s bare behinds.

Clara: But while some of them have drawn a very short straw, others might be relaxed about letting it all bounce free – because they’re naturists!

Natalie: [confused] Didn’t we establish that that’s someone who studies insect sex, like Dr Darwin from the last episode?

Clara: No that’s… oh never mind. Let’s uncover our line-up, shall we?

Beginning at the left-most of the cylindrical person-holders, the camera moves along the row, allowing the viewers to acquaint themselves with the participants’ faces, and glean as much as they can about their bodies through the frosted perspex.

Natalie: [raising an eyebrow] Mmmm, they don’t beat about the bush, this lot – or trim it, in some cases! But while some of these ladies are fully enlisted to the let-it-hang lifestyle, others would choose more convention in their clothing; they’ve been given 30-minutes of internet time to research all about nudism – just as well we don’t have a filter!

Clara: Prisha and Georgia, it’s your job to expose the bare-cheeked liars while sparing the truedy-nudies. As always, we’re making it harder by not telling you how many frauds lurk in our line-up, other than to say there is at least one fraud and one for-real.

Natalie: You can ask our participants pretty much anything about not wearing anything, except naked questioning of their fraud status. You can also – and I hesitate to suggest this – get them to perform an action… [Pulls an ‘eek’ face].

Clara: All the other usual rules apply, and to anyone who doesn’t know them, where have you been, huh?

Natalie: [Turns to the line-up] Ladies, you should make it your naked ambition not to give bum answers or make a boob of yourselves. Because not only will you want to avoid getting flan splattered goodness knows where, but you also stand to win 250 quid! [Fans herself with a hand of golden envelopes]

Clara: Georgia, you were won the last round 14 to 10, so you decide – go first or second?

Georgia: I’ll go first. [Blows a bubble in the direction of a scowling Prisha] Hiya girls! Tell us all about how you got into nudism?

Rebecca: One day it occurred to me, “Golly, I spend a lot of money on clothes!” So I started thinking about how I could avoid spending so much. Later, I was getting out of my bath of cold rainwater, and well, the solution was staring me in my tin-foil mirror. [Gestures herself]

Lauren: I don’t like the word ‘nudism’; it sounds so sinful! ‘Naturism’ is much better – walking around as nature intended – innocent and wholesome. Hmmm… [Leans back her head and closes her eyes]

Alexandra: Because I’m taking a stand against masculine culture, which teaches women to be ashamed of their bodies.

Natalie: [murmurs] Does it? Never had that problem with Stuart!

Fiona: Ermmm… [blushes] because I wanted to do something different, and this was a hobby none of my friends were doing.

Xia: It was my husband who got me into it, some years ago now. At first it was a social thing; now we mainly do it for our own enjoyment.

Maria: [spitting at the camera] How did I get into nudism?! How do I [klaxon] get out of it – that’s what I want to know!!

Lucy: [swishes back her hair sassily] Because I like to show off my body, my sexy body! [Dances seductively with one arm in the air]

Clara: So there you have it – their motives laid bare! Georgia, now you get to wield your first flan!

The young trainee gets up from her armchair and snatches up one of the heavily mounded flans in both hands. Her wedge heels clack on the stage as she resolutely carries the creamy disc. She heads towards the right-hand end of the row, but not the very far right where Lucy sways sassily. Instead, the black storm-cloud above Maria gets blacker and blacker.

Maria: Yeah Maria, I guess you weren’t listening when they read out the rules – you know the whole bit about pretending to be a naturist. Or perhaps you just want something to cover you up – well I can help with that!

But though unhappy at her state of undress, Maria doesn’t want to wear a flan either. Growling, she jerks her head to one side, but Georgia, strong-armed stylist that she is, doesn’t let the Latin diva get away. Worse for Maria, her whirling ponytail gets sandwiched between her face and the flan prior to impact, increasing her dishevelment. She splutters, her face a mass of blue cream and buried hair. The klaxon blocks out some colourful language as the cream begins to plop down onto her body.

Natalie: I think some cool cream is just what that hothead needed! Prisha, it’s your turn!

Prisha looks annoyed that Georgia pipped her to the very obvious Maria, but composes herself before asking her question.

Prisha: Normally in Flan the Frauds, the theme is based around a certain profession or job, but not this time. So I’d like to know what you do for a living.

Rebecca: I write online articles for CashStashingSpecialist.com, the nifty website that gives you quick and simple tips to save money – like not buying clothes!

Lauren: [dreamily] I’m a mature student who hasn’t lost her inner child.

Alexandra: I’m a university lecturer in economics. I specialise in yield curves.

Clara: Is that what you call them?

Fiona: Um, I work for the tax office. [A few boos sound from the audience]. I do the photocopying.

Natalie: Photocopying what, exactly?

The insinuation makes Fiona blush even more profusely before the camera moves on to Xia.

Xia: My husband and I run a tattoo parlour. We see a lot of body bits, so showing our own helps put the customers at ease.

Clara: Mmmm, I’m not sure about that…

The camera glides past Maria, whoe is caught between using hands to wipe her face and keeping them in place as a body shield. She spits and swears and vows to sue the show.

Lucy: I work in human resources. Then at the weekend I show off my own human resources!

Lucy cups the undersides of her tits and wags them up and down alternately. The tops of them come into view over the rim of the cylinder, and she is perilously close to revealing too much.

Natalie: Alright! That’s enough! We’re supposed to be a family show!

Clara: I think we forfeited the right to call ourselves that some time ago. Anyway, Prisha, it’s your turn to flan!

Prisha stands up stiffly and selects a flan from her table. Her long crimson fingernails clasp the foil tin delicately, and there is a slight disdain on her face as she lifts the wobbling mound of pastel pink cream. She approaches the line-up dead-centre. Fiona sighs and closes her eyes as she turns her even redder.

Prisha: Sorry, Fiona. You may not be ranting and raving like Maria, but it’s clear you’re pretty uncomfortable about being in your birthday suit. So I’m afraid that rules you out.

Prisha springs forth her flan, her experienced hairdresser’s hand more gentle than Georgia’s but just as thorough. The pie slaps on target. When she removes the foil tin, Fiona’s face is masked with the pink goo, out of which her eyes and mouth open in shock. The upper and side fringes of pie stick to Fiona’s voluminous hairstyle, forming a generous halo, while the excess cream at the bottom drops downwards, landing onto Fiona’s big boobs so that two circles of pink are visible through the frosted perspex. Fiona’s facial openings gape wider at the sensation of this.

Clara: Truly textbook flanning there, Prisha! Georgia, your next question please!

Georgia: Where and when do you get naked and what do you do while you’re naked?

Rebecca: When I’m working! I work from home – saves money as there’s no commuting – so I get to spend all of my work time unclothed. Plus when I do need to go somewhere, I go for a naked cycle – nice and cheap and I swear it makes me more aerodynamic!

Lauren: When I’m in the woodland communing with nature… pressing the soles of my feet in Mother Earth… frolicking with the fairies… Well, not actual fairies, but I like to frolic all the same.

Alexandra: When I’m giving lectures. It’s a test for my male students as to whether they can look at a naked female and actually concentrate on what she’s saying; otherwise they fail their exams [looks pleased with herself].

The camera skates past Fiona, still pink-faced and trying to rake the goo out of her hair.

Xia: Well, apart from when we’re working in the tattooists, my husband and I like to play ping-pong.

A few titters come from the audience.

Lucy: Saturday night at parties. I like to shake my booty on the dance floor − Ooh yeah! [Performs a dance in which she revolves inside her cylinder, tracing circles with her bum]

Clara: [pulls a face] Well, uh, there’s a few images I won’t get out of my head in a while! Anyway, Georgia, what do you make of it all?

Georgia collects her next flan. This time her bearing is to the left. The corners of Lauren’s mouth turn down anxiously, but Georgia continues past her; Rebecca is the target.

Georgia: Funny, Rebecca – you claim to be such a skinflint you won’t buy clothes, but those earrings look rather pricey. Real diamonds, are they? Those specs don’t look cheap either.

Evidently this is true, because Rebecca is hasty to remove her glasses. Instinctively she tries to pocket them, then realises that isn’t possible, so simply holds onto them as Georgia moves in for the flanning. Georgia puts her left hand on the back of Rebecca’s head while firmly smushing with her right. As she screws the pie around, bit of cream drop onto Rebecca’s nude body, causing the woman to wriggle. Finally Georgia pushes the flan onto the top of Rebecca’s head, further ruining her hair, then leaves the foil tin in place.

Natalie: You can leave your hat on – ha ha! Prisha, the next question’s yours.

Prisha: This is a practical one: where do you keep your keys?

First of all we are treated to a post-flan view of Rebecca, who has wiped her eyes and put her glasses back on. She smiles sheepishly at the camera before it moves on to Lauren.

Lauren: Locks are but mankind’s artificial barriers. The forest has no need for keys; I pass freely from copse to glade, from stream to sycamore, from hollow to hillock…

Natalie: Alright, there’s no need for explicit language!

Alexandra: In my office, usually. Unless I’ve chained myself to something in protest, in which case the keys goes in my [the klaxon whoops] and I dare any male officer to remove it!

Clara: [mutters] Doubt they’d find it among all that hair.

Xia: My husband takes care of that. He has a keyring that’s just the right size to fit on his [another blast of the klaxon].

Lucy: Me? I throw my keys into a crowd of boys. After all, at least one of them’s gonna be going home with me! Wooooo!! [Jumps up and imitates throwing something into the air, nearly exposing herself again]

Natalie: Bloody hell, that klaxon’s gonna be worn out! Prisha, I hope you can brave the set of images we’ve just been given…

Prisha does appear slightly scandalised, but also determined, as she gets up and selects another flan. She sets off in Xia’s direction, but then veers further right. Lucy’s Marilyn-Monroe lips pout slightly.

Prisha: [to Lucy] Well, Madam, I think you might well be an exhibitionist, but that’s not the same as a naturist. There’s more to it than getting your kit off after a few Bacardi Breezers!

While Prisha raises the pie, Lucy again cups her boobs from underneath and pushes them upwards. The camera has to maintain a very careful angle.

Lucy: Choose your target, baby! Uhh-hmm!

Prisha’s lip turns up in prudish disdain, but in the event she manages to hit all three targets, with the top of the flan driving into Lucy’s face, while the bottom smashes her tits. The pink cream forms a triangle between the three, and also makes foamy curtains of Lucy’s swishy blonde hair. Lucy immediately begin to rub the cream over herself, making sensual noises.

Clara: Good Lord! Can we mute the mic over there? Uh, Georgia, another question if you dare…

Georgia: Have you ever been arrested while naked?

Lauren: No. I always practice my naturism deep in the woods, far from the earthly police and their societal prejudices.

Alexandra: I was arrested once, but I think that had more to do with the fact I’d chained myself to a fracking rig than my lack of dress.

Xia: The police did use to come in the tattoo parlour to ‘have a word’. But these days they turn a blind eye.

The cameraman decides not to get a gander at what Lucy is doing.

Clara: Mmm, and there’s plenty to turn an eye blind over here! Georgia, have you decided how to act? Don’t forget you also have the option to call it quits.

Calling it quits is not the cards for Georgia, who picks up another flan and advances steadily towards Xia, whose tattooed shoulders hunch in anticipation.

Georgia: Xia, if you what you say is true, your husband has got it all sussed out hasn’t he? But I’m not sure I buy it. It’s not any particular thing you said – just a sense I’ve got. A bit like sometimes someone comes in the salon, and I find myself taking a dislike to them.

Prisha: Only sometimes?

Ignoring her boss, Georgia draws back her flan. The petite, older Chinese lady hunches her shoulders further, clamps shut her eyes, and emits a little squeak split-seconds before the pile of blue gunk ploughs into her features. Georgia then slides the flan sideways, filling Xia’s ear, then arcs over the top of the Chinese lady’s head, making sure her hair bun is nicely ensconced, and then down to the other ear. Georgia then moves the remaining flan backwards, completing the coverage of Xia’s head, before dropping the tin with its remnants down Xia’s bare back.

Natalie: Bit of a comb-over there! Prisha, there are just two left in our line-up and it’s time for another question from you.

Prisha: [hesitates] Umm, what would you suggest to someone who is thinking of getting into naturism?

Lauren: Well Prisha, what I suggest you do is−

Prisha: [mortified] No no, not me!

Lauren: [knowing nod] Ah, asking for a friend…

Prisha: [flustered] No! I’m just asking for the sake of−

Lauren: What I suggest your friend do is take a trip deep into the woodland. Don’t take any clothes off yet; just stand in a clearing, close your eyes, breathe in the tree scent. Let your heartbeat meld – I mean, let your friend’s heartbeat meld with the ancient woodland spirits. And then, start to unbutton…

Alexandra: Absolutely. Cast aside male oppression and go for it!

Natalie: Mmmm, some interesting advice – I mean answers for you there, Prisha. What do you choose to do?

Prisha, discomfitted by the discussion, reaches forward and grabs the rim of a pie tin between her long fingernails. Cautiously she eyes the two women who are still in play. Then she pushes the tin away from herself.

Prisha: I’m going to wrap up at this point.

Clara: Sure you don’t want to unwrap? [winks] Okay, Prisha you have declared yourself done. Georgia, the final flan (or might it be two?) rests with you. If you disagree with Prisha, here’s your chance to express it.

Georgia does disagree. She stands up and scoops a flan onto her left arm. Then, mindful not to make a mess of herself, she scoops another of the unwieldy flans onto her right.

Natalie: Oh my… Could it be…?

Georgia steps forward. She stands midway between Lauren and Alexandra, eyes flitting between them as they blink nervously back to her.

Clara: Could it be…? Could it be…?!

Georgia pounces. Showing she can sure be athletic when she wants to be, the slovenly girl jumps with her knees bunched up, while her arms extend in a V-shape. The flans slam Lauren and Georgia simultaneously, transforming their faces into discs of blue goo. Lauren’s multicoloured fringe gets swept back with the gunk, while Alexandra’s maidenesque hairdo also gets covered. Their bodies also get caught up in the resulting explosion of cream; Lauren’s chests gets splattered, while the frosted perspex shows that a large blue lump has lodged itself in Alexandra’s hairy hinterland.

Natalie: Woahh!! A double flan!

Letting both pie tins clatter to the floor, Georgia walks away satisfied, plonking herself back in her armchair.

Clara: Uhhh… Any particular reason, Georgia?

Georgia: Because you [points at Alexandra] are a bit too wacky to be believed, and you [points at Lauren] say you’re into natural stuff but you have weird-coloured hair!

Natalie: Hmmm… I can see why Georgia’s salon manner causes you problems, Prisha. But hey, Clara, look at this – all seven flanned!! We’ve not had that before!

Clara: Indeed we haven’t. But at least one of them is a wrongful flanning – maybe more. Ladies, please reveal yourselves!

Natalie: [tittering] I think they already have!

Along the row, each woman pulls away the outer layer of the label on her cylinder, revealing underneath some text that says either “For Real” or “Fraud”.

Rebecca: I’m a cheap fraud!

Lauren: [still clearing her nostrils of flan] For real! My hair is all-natural dye!

Alexandra: For real! They come a lot more ‘wacky’ than me in academia these days!

Fiona: [shyly] I’m a fraud.

Xia: For real. My husband’s for real, too!

Natalie: Maria…?

The Latina simply stands with her arms folded, continuing to sulk, so Clara steps forward and pulls away the name tag.

Clara: She’s a fraud.

Lucy [rips off her name label and throws it back with both arms] Fraud! I’m not a naturist, but I think I might become one – woohoo!! [Wiggles]

Clara: Mmm, not as fraudy as all those flannings would have you believe! Let’s see what it means for our contestants.

Natalie: Prisha, your two flans were bang on the money, so that gives you 10 points.

Clara: Georgia, you got off to a good start there – also two correct. But your flan-crazy finish all but undid that good work; those three wrongful flannings bring you back down to just 1 point!

Georgia harrumphs, while Prisha chuckles to herself.

Natalie: Tell you what Clara, this has worked out a really cheap F.t.F – first of all no costume costs, and now no prize money to give out! [Tucks envelopes inside her dress] Looks like I’ll be having a few drinks tonight!

Clara: Oi! That’s the show’s money to give back! [Turns to the flan-covered line-up] Ladies, I’m afraid every single one of you leaves the show with empty pockets – if you even had pockets – but you’ve been excellent sports, so we’ll be giving you each a Grudge-2-Sludge towel and toiletry pack!

Natalie: I think it’s only fair we cover these ladies up, Clara.

Clara: [smirking] Couldn’t agree more, Nat.

A siren rings out. The seven women, knowing well the format of the show, duck and cover their heads, waiting for something to be dropped on them. But instead fountains erupt from the base of the cylinders, multiple nozzles firing up jets of gunge, forming a rainbow of colour (red for Rebecca, orange for Lauren, yellow for Alexandra, green for Fiona, blue for Xia, indigo for Maria, and violet for Lucy). A cacophony of screams and cackling laughter sound from the women as they are blasted from below.

Natalie: Sounds like that hit the spot! Let’s have a round of applause for our naturists and not-so-naturists!

The audience applaud the women, who are still recovering from the shock.

Clara: Just one question: how are we going to get them backstage in a dignified way?

Natalie: STUART!

Stuart steps on the set, brandishing his magic wand. He gives this a wave and the seven women disappear, leaving behind the empty cylinders. He takes a bow.

Natalie: Alright, no need to show off, Stuart. Away you go! Well Clara, I guess this shows what a risky business it is to turn up for our studio audience!

Clara: Sure is. And don’t you sit there thinking you’ve got away with it [points into audience], because two of you are still to be summonsed to take part in Round 3, and it’s gonna be a messy one!

Natalie [rubbing hands together] Ooh yes, but not as messy as the Sludge Sling, of course! And to find it who’s on course to go in, let’s take a look at the overall scores!

Clara: Georgia of the blues inches forward onto 15 points, but red player Prisha leapfrogs her up to 20 points!

Prisha smiles smugly and gives herself a little round of applause, while Georgia shakes her fists in frustration.

Natalie: And so the tables have turned!

Clara: But will they turn again when the audience votes are revealed. Don’t go away; we’ll be back very soon!

As the scene begins to fade, so does Natalie’s TV smile. Rubbing her backside, she turns to Clara…

Natalie: [hisses] If there’s bruising I’ll be taking action against you!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity)

The show restarts again after the advert break and Natalie is looking a little sheepish as Glen starts to talk to the camera.

Glen: “Thanks for joining us again, and as promised we are about to go into our third edition of our brand new segment ‘Lets have some messy fun with…..’

Glen turns to Natalie: “How are you feeling Nat?”

Natalie: “A bit nervous about what might happen to me. I just hope it’s not too humiliating.”

Glen: “I understand that getting wet or messy shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

Natalie: “Eh, how have you figured that out?”

Glen: “We have a clip of you being thrown in the swimming pool a couple of years ago.”

A short video clip is shown, with a F1 driver having a little fun at the end of an interview by throwing the diminutive presenter into the pool.

Natalie: “Oh yes I remember that. Daniel was being a little naughty that day, and I got drenched. Thank goodness it was a sunny and hot day as I dried off pretty quickly.”

Glen: “We also have some pictures of you getting gunged about a year ago.”

Natalie: “Ahhh yes, I was taking part in a quiz and I got that disgusting slimey gunge all over me for losing. It took me ages to wash it all out of my hair!”

Glen: “So I guess I am correct with my earlier statement in that you are used to wet and messy situations?”

Natalie: “I suppose you could say that.”

Glen: “Anyway, let’s bring out the tombola. We have put in all the ideas that have been suggested by viewers during the break. Your job Nat, is to put your hand inside and pick one out.”

The brunette made a motion to put her hand inside but she was stopped by Glen.

Glen: “Just before you select one, I thought I would run through a few of the ideas that are in the tombola, that you are at risk of pulling out. This one is a bit tame, so you’ll probably like this one – this idea is to throw a few custard pies at you.”

Natalie: “Eh, is that all? I think I can handle that, no problem”

Glen: “Another of the suggestions is for you to wear a one piece swimsuit and have a hose put down the front, which will then blast out ice cold gunge at full power.”

Natalie: “Oh no, I don’t like that one at all. That would make my tits get very cold and make my nipples go hard.”

Glen: “You’re probably right. Haha! How about this one – you get to dress as a saucy schoolgirl and get to go in a bath of sloppy mud.”

Natalie: “Yuck! That sounds disgusting”

Glen: “I can also show you a picture of the outfit you would wear if that idea is chosen.”

Natalie: “Hmmm, that looks a little on the skimpy side, and I see it includes stockings as well!”

Glen: “Yes Nat. You’ve got great legs so stockings should really suit you.”

Natalie goes a little red “Thank you Glen”

Glen: “I think thats enough of reading through some of the ideas. There’s loads more in there, so time to pick an idea from the tombola.”

Whilst looking the other way, the brunette selects a piece of paper inside the tombola and draws it out. She unfolds it and gasps as she reads it silently to herself.

Glen: “Come on Nat, tell us what it is.”

Natalie: “It says ‘custard clown strip’. I’m not sure what that means exactly but I don’t like the sound of the ‘strip’ bit.”

Glen: “Oh this is a fun one, well chosen! What this means is that you will take part in a clown routine with our special clown guests Topsy and Turvy.”

Natalie: “But I have my favourite black dress on tonight and I don’t want to get it damaged or messy”

Glen: “No problem. You can change into that schoolgirl outfit I showed you earlier. It’s waiting for you in your dressing room, so chop chop, go and get changed.”

Natalie rolled her eyes “Great!”

The presenter stood up and went to get changed as the show went into another advert break.

After a few minutes, the show resumed and two female clowns could be seen bringing out a trolley laden with custard pies and jugs of custard.

Topsy: “We seem to be missing something”

Turvy: “Yeah you’re right. What could it be?”

At that point, Natalie walked back onto the studio floor wearing the sexy schoolgirl outfit consisting of white shirt, red and yellow school tie, very short grey skirt, black stockings and suspenders and black high heel shoes.

Topsy: “Oh, she’ll do!”

Turvy: “Definitely”

Natalie was ushered to stand between both clowns, and she smiled weakly into the camera, as the clowns began to bicker between themselves. As the exchange of words got more heated, both clowns picked up a custard pie and attempted to throw them at each other. With Natalie between them, the result was a pie sandwich to Natalie’s head and she gasped as the custard and cream clogged her ears and splattered against her shoulder length hair.

The camera panned back to Glen who was grinning from ear to ear.

Glen: “We’ll be going back for some more fun with Topsy, Turvy and Natalie every 10 minutes over the course of the next hour. But now, more sports news etc etc…”

After 10 minutes…

The camera focuses back on the clowns and Natalie. A wooden table had been brought onto the studio floor, and Natalie was bending over it, so that her upper body was in contact with the top of the table. The back of her stockinged legs and bottom were facing the camera.

Topsy flipped Natalie’s skirt up to reveal her black skimpy knickers and Turvy slapped a custard pie onto her bottom, which made the presenter yelp. This quickly soaked into the flimsy knicker material and streams of custard ran down her stockinged legs.

Glen shouted over “Nat, I did say that you would look good in stockings and I’m right”

After 20 minutes…

Glen announced it was time for some more clown fun, and the camera focused on Natalie who was still bent over the table, with her skirt still flipped over and her knickers on full show. Turvy put her forefinger into the elasticated top of her knickers to pull the garment slightly away from her bottom. Topsy was ready and waiting with a jug of custard and poured the contents of the  jug inside. Natalie squealed as the cold dessert sloshed around inside her knickers and around her bottom.

Turvy then grasped the sides of her knickers and pulled the garment up sharply to make Natalie squeal even louder than before, as she was wedgied. Custard went everywhere including her muff and bottom crack.

As the camera panned back to Glen, he was laughing uncontrollably at the sight of his co-presenter before blurting out “It’s like being back at school, eh Nat!”

After 30 minutes…

The table had been removed from the studio floor and replaced by an overhead beam which had a pair of handcuffs dangling down from it. Natalie was standing upright with her arms raised and her wrists already locked in the cuffs.

Natalie groaned as she saw Topsy brandish a pair of scissors. With a few snips her white shirt was cut off her. This was followed by her skirt. This left her in black bra, knickers, stockings and suspenders, high heel shoes, and her school tie.

Jugs of custard were poured over her head, and into her cleavage to leave her in a custardy mess. Turvy massaged the custard into her hair so that every strand was coated.

Natalie: “Thanks for that, NOT!”

As the camera focused back on Glen, he shouted out “Haha! You now know what it is like to be blonde!”

After 40 minutes…

Natalie was still handcuffed to the overhead beam, and Turvy showed her a black bowler hat. Topsy began to fill the hat with custard and squirty cream until it was overflowing.

Turvy: “Guess where this is going Natalie?”

Natalie: “My head, by any chance?”

Turvy: “Correct!”

The bowler hat was placed on the top of her head, and Topsy firmly pulled the hat down which squeezed the custard and cream out of the bottom and all over the brunette’s face and hair.

After 50 minutes…

Glen: “And for the final time tonight, we will go and see what Topsy and Turvy have planned for the end of their clown routine.

The camera panned back to the threesome, with the lingerie-clad presenter still handcuffed to the overhead beam. Turvy could be seen to be about to cut through Natalie’s bra straps with a pair of scissors. With a wry grin, it was as if Natalie had accepted she was going to be stripped on national TV. Two snips later, her ruined bra was on the floor and her perky tits were exposed for all to see. They looked good with a school tie dangling down between them.

Turvy continued with the cutting and snipped the sides of her knickers so that she could whisk the garment away to reveal Natalie’s shaved muff and pert bottom.

Feeling very embarrassed, Natalie was unable to protect her modesty as she was still cuffed and went red as she noticed the camera doing close-ups of her body.

Meanwhile Topsy and Turvy had positioned themselves at the sides of Natalie and within easy reach of the trolleys, and started to splatter the remaining custard pies all over Natalie, making sure her tits, muff and bottom got a good coating.

By the end, there was no clean spots on Natalie, and she had been well and truly sploshed with custard and cream.

The camera panned back to Glen.

Glen: “Thank you for joining us tonight and a special thank you to the lovely Natalie Pinkham who probably got a bit more messy and humiliated than she bargained for.”

Natalie: “You could say that! Can someone uncuff me please? I need to get cleaned up, changed and get to Belgium for the F1 Grand Prix.”

The clowns duly obliged, and Natalie jogged off the studio floor, with her messy tits bouncing around comically.

fast forward an hour….

A freshly showered and clean clothed Natalie walks out of her dressing room looking scrumptious in a mustard coloured mini-dress and high heel shoes.

As she turned the corner, she was confronted by Topsy and Turvy.

Natalie: “What are you two still doing here?”

Topsy: “To give you a last minute present before your flight to Belgium”

Natalie: “What do you mean….”

Natalie wasn’t able to finish her sentence as both clowns revealed they had a custard pie each behind their backs and swiftly smushed them into the brunette’s face. A gobsmacked Natalie wiped her eyes and looked down at the splashes of custard and cream which were evident on her dress.

Natalie: “You idiots! I’m going to have to shower again and put on another set of clean clothes.”

The presenter stormed back off to her dressing room as the clowns giggled and went about their merry way.

Topsy: “Lets get another couple of custard pies and we’ll come back again in half an hour.”

Turvy: “That’s going to be so funny to see her reaction when we pie her yet again. I know let’s see if we can get hold of some eggs as well.”

Topsy: “Good idea”

Authors Note: I might do a final instalment of this series. Please see poll below, which will decide if there will indeed be another episode…

A few days later Maya sought me out at college, I hadn’t spoken to her in a long time as we weren’t exactly friends. Maya was easily the most intelligent girl in our year, but that was part of the problem she had always been a bit of a stuck-up bitch about it.

For example I’d one asked for help on something and she had snappily replied with a long winded response belittling myself, she only had a couple of friends and they were also top of the class sets so we all pretty much ignored them when it came to social events, as they weren’t welcome or even if they came any fun to be around.

As a result of this I was confused when she asked me how I was getting on with finding a female student to go in the tank, I explained how I thought I had one woman to go in the tank but that she wasn’t exactly a student.

Maya’s response shocked me as she said “Well if you want a student to go inside, I’ll be happy to volunteer” I eyed her curiously, I couldn’t work out for the life of me why Maya the nerd would be a willing gungetank victim.

She could obviously sense my confusion and decided to answer the questions I had before I’d even asked them.

“See this is exactly the reason, everyone thinks I’m boring, I’m about to finish college and I’ve never been invited to parties, but also I realise I am to blame for this.

I spent all these years refusing to help people when they’ve asked for it, including you for example, and so I figured this might be a fun way for the students to get me back”.

I was shocked at her honesty, and it kind of made me see her in a different light, it turned out Maya was just as insecure as everyone else about how she appeared to her fellow students, something I’d never expected, she then added.

“Plus, the guy a kind of fancy, thinks I’m a complete ass and well I understand that, and I want to prove that I’m not an ass and to say I’m sorry, so you’ve had my application what do you think?” she nervously smiled after finishing speaking.

I grinned, well if you are honestly up for it, we are more than happy to accept your ‘application’ I joked, I told her to speak to Kate to sort out the details and time that she’d need to arrive on the day, at this she just nodded and then said “Well, um see you soon” and quickly skipped away.

I couldn’t quite get over how strange the entire situation was, but through my next college class I now had the mental image of seeing the large breasted Maya getting covered in gunge, and I couldn’t help but feeling a little bit aroused by the thought.

The day of the Summer Event had arrived, I’d packed a spare pair of clothes for myself in case I needed to change after helping out and after realising she’d need to drive home after her gunging I grabbed Hannah’s yoga pants and top from the radiator at home and left our stuff in my locker.

I helped Kate and the other committee members set up for the event, now being an honouree member when our head of the college Ms Peters came to see how we were getting on with the preparations, after quickly looking around she approached me.

“I’m so happy to see you for the first time at college outside of college hours, for reasons other than behaviour or poor performance” alluding to my less than stellar record since joining the college and school.

I’d been fairly sure that Ms Peters was sweet on me, believing that most other heads would have happily kicked me out a long time ago, so I felt like I had owed her after the last time I’d ended up in her office and she’d saved me. After a few more minutes chatting, she asked how my studying was going, and I mentioned how hard I found it.

She looked around, before whispering to me, “I know you’d love to see me in that gungetank” to which I nodded unsure exactly where this was heading.

“Well how about I help to motivate you to stay out of trouble these last few weeks, if you can avoida any more detentions I’ll re-hire this gungetank and let you gunge me in it” she winked at me before adding, “But you have to promise me this stays a secret being you and me”

I nodded, saying “Of course” not that I believed she would go through with it, but it would certainly help my motivation in my classes if there was a 1% chance, she actually made true with the promise.

Once we had set everything up and all the students had arrived, I spent some time dancing and drinking with my friends, with Kate dancing sexily next to me for a while before she realised what time it was and made her way onto the stage.

“Thank you all so much for coming to the event today, I hope you are all having a good time”

A loud cheer was heard from my fellow students, before Kate moved on to reveal the gungetank, a loud chorus of ooooh could be heard from the people around me, as they clearly wondered who would be going inside.

When the first student Mark walked out onto the stage, wearing a dressing robe I knew I had no interest in seeing him inside the tank and so headed off to get a refill on my drink, ensuring I took long enough at the bar area.

When I was just being handed my drink, I heard some cheering and cat calling, mainly from the girls as Mark had clearly been gunged and was now heading back to the changing room to be washed off, I made my way back into the main area as Kate started speaking once more.

“We only had one female student volunteer to take part in the charity gunging, I must admit I was a little bit surprised when she came to see me and said she’d be willing.

Please give a warm welcome onto the stage for our high achieving Maya!” She shouted as Maya who was wearing a bath robe like Mark before stepped out onto the stage, she seemed a little bit nervous as she waved to the crowd.

The crowd had moved passed the initial surprise at the volunteer to a quiet murmur of excitement, Maya was known to be attractive with but her dismissive attitude had meant most people would never have entertained the idea she’d even attend the event, let alone go in the gungetank.

Eventually Maya allowed the bath robe to drop and she stood on the stage now only wearing a black one piece swimsuit, I couldn’t help but think how sexy she looked and as she moved to step inside the gungetank, our eyes met and she gave me a small smile as she sat down on the seat.

Kate instigated a countdown from 10 and all the students around me chanted 9, 8, 7, 6…. 2, 1 and when the last number was called out Kate pulled the chain on the side of the tank and I watched on as a torrent of green gunge flowed down.

It hit the top of Maya’s head and domed off the top of it for a moment before the dome collapsed and the flow of gunge poured down the front of Maya’s face, finally breaking our eye contact. I loved the way the gunge was cascading down her sexy form, and although she was quickly being turned into a green blob, I could still make out her large breasts, and enough of her facial features.

Realising I was getting a bit turned on I moved to where I could stand behind a table to ensure my enjoyment wasn’t blatantly obvious to anyone looking.

Maya was still being showered with gunge, her hair and face completely unrecognisable now thanks to the large amount of gunge that had filled the tank, seemingly more than had been dunked onto Mark from the comments around me.

Eventually the flow subsided and when it finally stopped Maya was able to wipe her eyes, I laughed when she realised how low her swimsuit had gotten thanks to the weight of the gunge which had evidently flowed straight down her cleavage and must have felt odd against her privates.

As she scooped some of the gunge out of her cleavage to a large cheer from the blokes and even some of the girls in the room, she was finally confident in how secure the swimsuit was when she decided to stand up, getting a further large cheer which, I joined in with.

Just at this moment I heard a voice behind me

“Hey Ben, wow I wouldn’t want to be that girl.

She looks an absolute mess, who on earth allows themselves to be openly humiliated like that?”

I turned around to greet my step-sister, and maybe because of how horny I was feeling at that moment, but before I spoke, I looked her up and down and thought about how sexy she looked in her office outfit, a tight blouse tucked into her high waisted skirt, with her cleavage very much on show.

We chatted for a while, before she spotted my friends and went over to speak to them, immediately teasing a couple of them soon leaving them red faced, as she went over to speak to Kate to I presume ask what she could do to help out….

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Glen: “It’s another Sunday evening and welcome to Sports News. My name is Glen and with me tonight is the titillating Natalie Sawyer.”

Natalie: “Good evening, and we have lots of sports news to update you all on, including the Premiership results earlier from today. Everton beat Wolves 3-2 in a five goal thriller and in the north London derby between Arsenal and Spurs it ended in an exciting 2-2 draw….”

Glen interrupts Natalie “….Before we go into the match reports, I have an urgent newsflash….”

Natalie: “Oooh, what’s that then?”

Glen: “I don’t think you are going to like this, but I’ve just received a message in my earpiece that we are about to commence a surprise fourth edition of our new popular show ‘Let’s have some messy fun with….’

Natalie: “Hey, hold on just one minute. I specifically told the producer that I wouldn’t do that show and they agreed, as I have gotten messy enough in loads of previous CSWL and associated shows.”

Glen: “Yes, I heard about that agreement, but after the last episode with Natalie Pinkham, there was a viewer poll to see if they wanted to have one further episode with yourself as the star, and 71% of viewers voted ‘yes’.

Natalie: “What!”

Glen: “And as much as the producer would like to keep to his agreement with you, unfortunately that is superseded by the results of any viewer poll.”

Natalie: “I can’t believe this is happening”

Glen: “Sorry Natalie, but it is in your contract that you have to appear in any show that the TV channel deems suitable.”

Natalie: “Don’t remind me! I need to get my solicitor to remove that clause when my current contract expires.”

Glen turns to the camera: “You the viewer at home should know the routine by now. You have until the end of the next advert break to suggest an idea for Natalie to get messy. All the ideas will be put into a tombola and Natalie gets to choose her messy fate.”

Natalie is not impressed at this surprise development, and looks off-screen “Is there anything I can do to get out of this?”

She was met with shakes of the head, and Natalie had no choice but to start to get used to the idea that she was soon going to be messy and humiliated once again.

Glen started to scan his iPad “Guess what Natalie, we’ve already had some ideas emailed in. Do you want to hear some of them?”

Natalie rolled her eyes “Go on then!”

Glen: “Matt from Newcastle obviously thinks we should go easy on you. He suggests we pour a cup of water over you.”

Natalie smiles: “That, I would gladly accept!

Glen: “This one is from Jamie in Leicester, who has taken a different view. He wants to see you go topless and dip your tits in a bowl of caramel sauce.”

The presenter remonstrates with Glen “Why is everyone obsessed with me getting my tits out all the time!”

Glen smiled and stared down at Natalie’s impressive chest “Errr, I think it’s pretty obvious.”

Natalie tutted before speaking “Are there any ideas that don’t involve my tits?”

Glen glanced down at his iPad again “Let me have a look. He began to read the ideas that were coming through and had to silently read through five until he found one.”

Glen: “Ah, here’s one. It’s from Callum in Bournemouth. He suggests that you wear a micro slingshot bikini (like Jo Wilson had to wear during her episode) and get dunked into a vat of sticky molasses.

Natalie: “Yuck!”

Glen: One more before we go to the advert break. Marcus from Manchester wants to see you dressed as a sexy french maid and for you to take part in a food fight with a group of university students! We even have a picture of the french maid outfit you would wear if this was the idea selected.“

Natalie gulps, as she sees how skimpy the outfit is.

Glen: “I think that outfit would really suit you”

Natalie: “You would!”

Glen faces the camera: “Join us in a few minutes after some messages from our sponsors. See you back here very soon.”

Author’s Note: You know the routine! Submit your ideas for how Natalie gets messy in the comments below. Entries will close Tuesday evening…..

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

The announcer’s deep voice bellowed out.

Announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Battle of the Athletes! Please welcome your host, ESPN’s own Molly McGrath!”

Molly, wearing a striking black dress, strode out.

Molly: “Welcome to the Battle of the Athletes: Super Slime Showdown! Two teams of ladies will battle it out for supremacy over the next few weeks, with Sunday and Thurday Night Football deciding their fate. To the winners go the bragging rights. As for the losers, well, lets just say that I hope they brought a change of clothes. These teams consist of athletes, legends, reporters, and personalities. We will build until a final epic conclusion in the last week.”

The audience applauded with enthusiasm.

Molly: Lets welcome our participants for tonight, Lindsey Vonn and Mikaela Shiffrin.”

The two ladies made their way out. Vonn wore an orange top with black yoga pants, while Shiffrin wore a black top with a matching tight black skirt. Both their bare midriffs shown.

Molly: “Tonight, the Packers and Bears face off in football, and Lindsey Vonn and Mikaela Shiffrin face off right here. If the Bears win, then Mikaela is getting messy, but if the Packers win, Lindsey is getting messy. And Im sure you’re wondering just how messy they’ll be getting. Well let me assure you, it will be quite an event.”

The camera panned over to a large dunk tank filled with bright green slime.

Molly: “The loser will climb up there, and take a seat above the goo. The winner will hit that button, and the loser

Will.

Be.

Dunked.

I hope you brought water wings, cause you will be swimming in somecold, thick, slick, gooey, nasty slime. Its been sitting there all day, waiting to envelope one of you two beauties. I cant help but notice the stylish outfits you ladies have. Have fun washing that green mess out of your clothes! And thats saying nothing about what green slime does to blonde hair.”

Vonn: “Lets just say I’ll be rooting heavily for the Bears. Ive been slimed before, but I dont wanna be dunked in the stuff. I’ll be immersed. Although, Im sure slime does skin and hair good, and when Mikaela goes in, she’ll be fine.”

Shiffrin smirked

Shiffrin: “Well, when the Packers win, I’ll certainly get some towels to help you dry off. Just make sure not to get thar snot on me.”

Now it was Vonn’s turn to smirk in a playful manner.

Molly: “Now, there is one little thing Ive got to mention. In the event of a tie, the team, and therefore lady, with the most total yards will win. However, while they will get the win, they won’t get off easy. If there is a tie, both ladies are going in.”

Lindsey and Mikaela looked playfully nervous. The crowd cheered at this announcemt. Molly, looking somewhat sheepish, began to speak again.

Molly: “But they wont be the only ones going in. In the event of a tie, seeing as how I’m the host of this and there wouldn’t be a winner, our producer feels that it would only be fitting if I go in too.”

The crowd erupted while Lindsey and Mikaela laughed. 

Molly: “So, if you’d like to see Mikaela Shiffrin go for a swim in some lovely green slime, you better root for the Bears. But if you would like to see Lindsey bath in slime, you better root for the Packers. But if you want them both to get it, then you better root for a tie. But please don’t, cause that means I’m going in too! Please, someone win!”

*Check the result of the Thursday night game to see who will get dunked. The aftermath will be posted shortly after. But I wanna know, who are people rooting for (outside of the obvious tie)? Im curious to see how many new Packers or Bears fans we’re gonna have.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity)

The advert break comes to a close and the sports news starts again with Glen looking very cheerful, and his co-host not so.

Glen: “Good news Natalie, we have had lots of ideas from the viewers during the break. We have put them all into the tombola ready for you to select one of them.”

Natalie: “Do I have to choose one now?”

Glen: “Not just yet. I’m just going to run through some of the ideas that you are at risk of pulling out. Ready?”

Natalie: “Not really, but you may as well carry on!”

Glen: “Ok then. One of the viewers has suggested you wear a white swimsuit and have it filled with spaghetti in tomato sauce and baked beans.”

Natalie: “Yuck, that sounds disgusting.”

Glen: “Wait, as I’ve not finished yet. Once that happens the floor drops beneath you and you get dumped in a vat of sour cream and chive dip.

Natalie: “No, no! That would take me ages to wash the smell out of my hair!”

Glen: “Perhaps you would prefer this idea. You get to wear a micro slingshot bikini, have your hands cuffed behind your back, and you have to dip your head and the front of your body into various substances in order to try and find the key to free yourself.”

Natalie: “Nope, don’t like that one either. Tell me, will the micro slingshot bikini be the same as the one that Jo Wilson wore in a previous episode!

Glen: “Yes it will be, but don’t worry it’s been thoroughly laundered since she wore it.”

Natalie: “That bit doesn’t bother me, it’s the fact it was so tiny. I’m afraid that I won’t fit into it, and my tits will pop out!”

Glen: “Oh well, que sera sera!”

Natalie smiles with a wry grin “…..and I bet you and the viewers would love to see that happen…”

Glen just smiles “I’m not saying anything! Want to hear another possible idea?”

Natalie: “Not really, but you are going to mention it anyway…”

Glen: “This one is a little more on the disgusting side. You get put into a dumpster can filled with fake cum.”

Natalie: “No! That is taking it too far!”

Glen: “Lets hope you don’t pull that idea out of the tombola. How about this one – you are stripped naked, and then you have to put your clothes back on – your bra is filled with ice cream and put back on. Your knickers are filled with spaghetti bolognese and put back on. Your dress is soaked in syrup and put back on, before a top hat filled with custard is put on your head.”

Natalie: “As much as I don’t like the idea, I need to give some credit to the viewer who thought that up, as its very detailed and inventive, but…..also very disgusting!”

Glen: “Ok, enough of going through some of the ideas. It’s time to select one of them.”

Gingerly, Natalie plunges her hand into the tombola and draws out a solitary piece of folded paper. She isn’t brave enough to unfold it herself, and instead hands it to Glen who promptly unfolds it and and starts to read:-

Glen: “Ok, so you have picked the following……..”

Tension music fills the studio as Natalie drums her fingers on the desk.

Glen: “For the next hour you get to go on a dunk tank that is filled with honey and have Fulham and QPR fans throw balls at the dunk tank target. Each one that gets hit will send you into the honey!”

Natalie sighs, as she acknowledges the link to the honey as she is a Brentford fan whose nickname are the Bees.

Glen: “Did I mention that you have to do it in your underwear and there is a special part at the end which I will tell you about later.”

Natalie: “Huh, so I have to strip to my underwear now!”

Glen: “Yes please!”

The presenter stands up from the desk, walks around to the front and starts to do a striptease. She seems to be a natural which has probably been helped by the many times she has had to take clothing off on previous CSWL and associated shows. It doesn’t take long for her red dress to be slipped off, to reveal that Natalie is wearing a white lace teddy. Glen gasps as he could see that the teddy is see-through in some places, and Natalie tuts as she instantly regrets choosing such a risqué article of underwear this morning.

The busty presenter is helped to the nearby dunk tank and she takes the steps at the back in order to reach the plastic seat which is precariously situated above the dunk-tank. The self proclaimed Brentford fan curses as she sees a number of male Fulham and QPR fans stride on to the stage, and form an orderly queue in front of the dunk tank.

With a look that says ‘this is all too familiar’, Natalie playfully kicks her legs as the first Fulham fan takes aim.

Natalie: “Fulham really suck! If you throw like your team tries to score goals then you’ve got no chance!”

Fulham fan: “oh yeah, we’ll see about that”

The fan throws the ball with pinpoint accuracy and it thuds into the target. Natalie’s attempts to put him off fail miserably as she squeals loudly as she feels the seat mechanism give way and drops her suddenly into the tank. She lands with a gloopy splash into the honey and delves completely underneath the surface, before she was able to compose herself and stand up in the tank. Her shoulder length black hair is sticky and slicked back against her forehead. Her face is dripping with the gloopy substance, whilst her white lace teddy had turned even more transparent, and it was very obvious to the viewers that the lingerie had plastered itself to her tits, showing every curve and even her erect nipples.

As Natalie clambered out of the tank and made her way back to the plastic seat above, she looked down to see that her teddy had become even more transparent and attempted to use her hands and arms to protect her modesty.

Throughout the next hour of the show, the camera panned back and forth between Glen and the dunk tank, as many Fulham and QPR fans get to throw balls at the target sending an increasingly sticky and gloopy Natalie into the dunk-tank.

At the end of the hour, Natalie is asked to step down from the tank. There is an electronic counter beside the tank which is showing the number 12 representing the amount of dunks Natalie has had.

Natalie: “Thank goodness for that!”

Glen: “Its not over yet Natalie. I did mention that there is a special part at the end.”

As Natalie tried to remonstrate with her colleague to convince him that her 12 dunkings were enough, two black bin bags are raised above her head and upturned. Out comes lots of feathers, and they rain down over the hapless presenter. Due to the fact that she is completely sticky with honey, most of the feathers find a place on Natalie’s body and remain there. After all the feathers are dumped out of the bags, Natalie is covered in them and resembles a chicken.

Glen: “Haha! You look really funny!”

Natalie snorts back.

Glen: “The final part is for you to run a lap around the studio. Off you go!”

Reluctantly, the big titted presenter started to jog and received applause from the watching Fulham and QPR fans as she jogged around the studio.

Glen turned to the camera “I hope you enjoyed our fourth and final episode of ‘Let’s get messy with…..’. I’m not sure Natalie did, but I certainly enjoyed it…”

As the credits start to roll, Natalie is seen in the background being grabbed by a couple of fans and being tied to a strippers pole. The fans enjoy a brief finale of custard pieing Natalie all over her body.

Natalie: “At least I’m not naked this time…..”

A QPR fan: “We’ll have to do something about that then. The fan pulls the straps of her teddy down to reveal her honey and custard coated tits to the viewers, before smushing two creamy custard pies into them.

Natalie: “Drat! I spoke too soon!”