Hello Telly gunge. It’s playtime. It’s been a while since I’ve published on here. I was working on a third pancake day a while back, the eagle eyed might have even spotted a reference to it in my Paradise by the Christmas Light series, where I mentioned it was to be set on cruise ship.
That was the initial plan, but at around the halfway point I was struggling and loosing interest. In hindsight I realize I had over complicated things with the complexity of the traps, and having too many characters featuring in each scene. In the end I took a break, and considered a few options, like trying another plot-line, but in the end I did return to the original idea, but I simplified the set up quite a bit, reducing the number of characters in each scene, and using new traps, which kept more in line with the pancake series so far, and thankfully I’ve now been able to get almost to the end.
I may go through the rejected version at some point, and see if there’s anything I want to publish in a deleted scenes special. For now though here’s the first part of the third pancake day series. You don’t necessarily need to have read parts 1 and parts 2 to read this, but it would help in knowing the characters and set up better, and there are a few spoilers for the previous parts here, so you might want to check them out if you haven’t already.

Scene 1:
The camera pans around an opulently decorated ballroom. Starting with the period fireplace, before sweeping past a number of antique oil paintings, and along the old walnut floor, until it reaches something distinctly out of place. Kneeling down is a woman in a revealing black cocktail dress, showing off a generous amount of her sun-bed brown skin. She has long black hair, and make up precisely applied to her face to give an artificially beautiful look. Currently she is struggling with two thick leather straps, one wrapped around her ankles, another just above her knees, thus forcing her to remain on her knees. Completing her imprisonment is a long chain, running from the higher strap, along the floor to a large steel ring attached to the ground. The camera cuts close and we see 6 padlocks, each attaching a link of the chain to the ring. We then hear footsteps, and a familiar voice.

Porcelain: Hello Chloe. It’s playtime.

The camera cuts to the familiar site of Princess Porcelain. She’s wearing a bright red PVC ball gown, that spreads out from her waist down to her ankles, just above her 5 inch stiletto boots. Above her waist it clings on tightly to her torso, and her arms, all the way to her wrists. Her hands are adorned by red satin gloves, decorated by a large bow. Her torso is decorated by a black lace ruffle, that goes from her waist, up to her breasts, where the black lace provides a little modesty to her amply exposed cleavage. Her hair has been dyed bright red with black hi-lights, and has had a lot of curl stylised into it, and hangs down freely way past her shoulders. Her face has been decorated with the familiar face paint of a sinister Victorian doll, painted white with perfect blue eye shadow, rosy pink cheeks, and Betty Boop like cherry red lips.

Chloe: Who are you? Never mind, just help me out of these straps.
Porcelain: Why would I do that after all the trouble it took to get you here.
Chloe: You did this! How?
Porcelain: Let me refresh your memory. You’d just been the first person to be eliminated on the Princess, “the reality show where seven beautiful celebrities compete to show they deserve to be called The Princess” and were being led away when you and your staff were all hit by a load of chlorofoam spray.
Chloe: What?
Porcelain: Chlorofoam spray.

Porcelain produces a black aerosol canister from her bag, and presses the nozzle. A torrent of thick white spray comes out. It cuts to Chloe as her dress is covered in a thick layer of white foam.

Chloe: Let me go now, or I’ll see to it you pay.
Porcelain: Handy stuff this chlorofoam spray. One of Gary’s inventions. I’m still a sucker for the more traditional pie, but there are times when this is a lot more practical.
Chloe: Hey! Stop ignoring me.
Porcelain: I’d tell you to stop being an attention whore, but I suspect that’s a lost cause. Now where was I? Oh yeah, we had you all chlorofoamed and we brought you here for a little play session.
Chloe: What? Hang on? Are you that psycho Athena was telling us about? Princess Porcelain?
Porcelain: I see my reputation proceeds me. Less of the psycho though.
Chloe: What? Why? What do you want with me? I only know Athena briefly from my week on the show. Why not go after her?
Porcelain: Well it wouldn’t be much of a show if I only went after one person. Especially when the producers have collected together such a fine collection of playmates. A two face bitch like you is such an obvious playmate.
Chloe: What are you talking about?
Porcelain: You spent all week being nice to everyone to their face, only to slag them off behind their back to anyone who listens. It’s no wonder you were voted off first. After hearing your leaving speech I wanted to import a load of bullshit from the local farm so you could see what it’s like to be deluged by it. Sadly we had to act immediately, so we’re sticking with the original plans, have you seen the amazing chandelier I’ve installed especially for you.

The camera pans until it’s facing directly upwards. It shows a large circular structure, about 10 foot across made up of numerous crystal vases filled with a translucent thick white slime. A bright spotlight from above shines through, with the light refracting in many directions. Then 6 of the vases from different points of the circle start to lower down. The camera pans until the 6 vases stop about 8 foot above the ground, although a cord drops down from each one a few more feet.

Porcelain: It already looks amazing doesn’t it, but just you wait until the grand cascade, when all that slime’s going to come crashing down.
Chloe: No! Let me out now or your dead.

Chloe lunges forward to try to grab Porcelain, but hampered by the straps around her legs Porcelain just casually steps out the way.

Porcelain: You want to move away. Well all you’ve got to do is find the six keys to the padlocks. That shouldn’t be too difficult should it. Think carefully and you’ll realise there’s only one place the keys could be, and it’s just about in reach.

With that Porcelain struts away, pausing by a small coffee table, where she pauses to turn over an hourglass positioned on to of it.

Porcelain: It’s playtime.

Chloe angrily pulls at the straps with an annoyed grunt, but they don’t give. She looks around and she shuffles towards one of the lower vases. She reaches up with her hands, and can just about reach the chord when she positions herself directly under the vase. The camera cuts to the vase, as it slowly turns over, and a trickle of thick white slime pours out. The camera cuts to Chloe. She is leaning back, trying to avoid the slime, and although it misses her face and hair, it is slowly pouring on to her exposed cleavage and down her dress. Seconds pass before we see Chloe glance over. The camera cuts to the hour glass, and we see a quarter of the time has already passed. The camera cuts back to Chloe, who with a grunt of exasperation pulls down sharply on the cord. The camera briefly cuts to the vase as it turns over completely, before cutting back to Chloe ducking her head slightly as the whole vase full of slime splashes down on top of her, soaking her hair in a thick transparent glaze. She takes several deep gasps in shock, before reaching down and grabbing a key from a puddle of slime on the floor. She quickly shuffles over to the ring in the middle of the floor, and tries the key on the padlocks, the third one she tries pops open.
The camera cuts back to the hourglass, and we see a little over half her time is left. The camera cuts back to one looking down on Chloe, reaching up and pulling sharply down on another cord. Another vase full of slime splashes heavily down on her, much of it soaking into her hair, and also her dress which now glistens thanks to it’s soaking in slime. The camera cuts back to the hourglass to show only about 40 percent of her time is left. It cuts back to a shot of one of the padlocks as it pops open thanks to the second key. The camera cuts to Chloe, wiping some of the slime from her hair as she hurriedly shuffles forwards to the next nearest vase. This time the camera watches from behind as once again she reaches up and a vase of slime once again cascades down on her, this time we see it dripping down her back. She turns around and shuffles towards the camera, visibly out of breath due to the physical exertion. She once again tries the key on the padlocks and the second one she tries pops open.
The camera cuts to the hourglass and we see only a fifth of the time is left. The camera cuts back to Chloe, who is now desperately tugging at the chain, after several desperate screams she once again starts to pull at the leather straps. This time she is able to move the one around her ankles, thanks to the lubrication from all the slime, by pushing on it very firmly she is able slide it off. In response she rolls over on to her back, and starts to push down on the strap above her knees. It has some give, but she can only wiggle it over her knees very slowly, by moving only one side at once. Eventually she gets the strap over her knees, but as she does to the camera cuts to the hour glass as the last of the sand runs out. A loud siren blares out, and the camera cuts to an upwards facing shot of the chandelier, as vases start to turn over in a random pattern, emptying the slime downwards as they do. The camera cuts to Chloe as large splash of slime falls down on her. She rolls on her front, and tries to make a dash for it, but immediately slips over, another splash of slime falling onto her head as she falls down on her bottom. She lets out a scream as she huddles her body in to a ball, trying to dodge the slime, but unable to avoid the downwards torrent.
About 40 seconds later the slime eventually stops falling, and the Chloe zooms in on Chloe as she uncurls from her ball. Slime now covers her whole mess, leaving her a bedraggled mess in the middle of a large puddle of thick slime.

Roll Opening Titles.

Scene 2:

The camera starts with a large establishing shot looking down the corridor of an opulent looking mansion. The floorboards are made from dark wood, and the walls painted a dark green. Several doors line both the long main walls. We here a loud message being broadcast across the p a system.

P A System: Emergency! Emergency! Would all contestants please make their way to the Grande Ballroom.

The camera cuts several times to show a number of beautiful women, coming through different doors. They are all smartly turned out, like they are dressed for a smart, formal gathering. All look a little confused as they head down the corridor. The eagle eyed may recognize one of them as Athena, the girl that barely escaped one of Porcelain’s traps in the previous film. The camera cuts to some of the girls as they talk while hurriedly walking down the corridor.

Paris: What the hell is going on? I was supposed to be resting.
Athena: Is this an actual emergency or part of the show?
Paris: Well I don’t see any cameramen around.
Rachel: There’s remote cameras about. If you look you can see some of them following us.

The camera cuts to a shot of a CCTV camera. A green light blinks on and off. The camera then cuts back to a shot of the same ball room Chloe was trapped in. A shot shows the chandelier, now empty of it’s load back up in the ceiling. A long shot shows the room has been cleaned up, and a giant TV screen has been screwed to on of the walls. The camera cuts to the girls as they finish their conversation.

Kristy: Well of course it’s part of the show. If it was a real emergency they wouldn’t send us here on our own like this. They’d be escorting us out of the mansion.

The camera cuts to a shot looking at the TV screen, the seven girls now standing in front of it wondering what‘s next. Suddenly there is a flash, and a familiar face appears on the screen..

Porcelain: Hello “celebrities”. It’s playtime.

On the TV screen is Princess Porcelain. She sits on an ornate throne, painted gold with red velvet cushions. Images of haunting Victorian dolls and teddy bears are carved on the throne as decoration. To the left of Porcelain is a small wooden side table with a couple of items on it, including an ornately decorated wine goblet, to the right of her is a giant hourglass, which looks about four foot tall. The main focus though is Porcelain herself. Still wearing the same stunning red pvc ball gown, stiletto boots, and eye catching hair and make up she wore when taunting Chloe.

Athena: Porcelain!
Porcelain: Athena, you remember me. I’m touched. I had my doubts over the clarity of your memory after buying your book, which to my surprise was located in the non-fiction section.

Porcelain reaches over and picks up a book off the table. She holds it up as she reads the back, and we see a caricature like drawing of Princess Porcelain on the cover.

Porcelain: Read how she heroically escapes from the traps, designed by the fiendish Princess Porcelain. From what I remember you barely avoided a drop into my custard pit, and that was only because I felt sorry for you and gave you a head start.
Athena: I’m sorry. I didn’t even write that, it was my ghost writer under instructions from our publisher.
Porcelain: Oh don’t worry Athena I’m not angry with you. I’ve followed your career closely and I should be thanking you. Thanks to you I’ve become acutely aware of one of societies greatest scourges. You see, all our lives me and my companions have suffered because we didn’t fit in. Didn’t conform to what society deemed we should be. Well up to now I never stopped to think, where do people get their ideas from? Who lays down the boundaries of what is and isn’t the norm. Well thanks to you Athena I got my answer. It’s the world of celebrity. The people who go out on the red carpets, showing everyone how to dress, who sell the stories of the wonderful lives people supposedly should aspire to in trashy magazine, the people who spread their bullshit ideologies and messages on stupid, trashy reality shows.
Paris: Oh come on. It’s not that bad.
Porcelain: Really? We live in a world where you get more money and recognition for spending a few weeks lounging in a bikini on a reality show than you do for winning a Nobel prize. News of great heroism is kept off the front pages by news of a celebrity marriage. A world where trashy biographies outsell booker prize winners. Well today I’m going to put an end to that. I’m going to show the world what their so called heroes are really like. When that happens they’ll worship you no more. They’ll no longer feel the need to act within the narrow confines of acceptability laid down by the likes of you. You see today, your no longer living the fantasy celebrity lifestyle. Instead your facing my reality.
Kristy: Yeah! How are you going to do that sitting on your little throne there. There’s not much you can do to us down here.
Porcelain: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Look where I am.

The camera pointing at Porcelain turns around, it moves forward through an open doorway. It enters a large hi-tech control room, with numerous monitors on the wall. In the centre are five people, huddled together nervously, each sat in an office chair. Standing a short distance from them are a group of people, including a couple of Porcelain’s known associates, wearing black jumpsuits, and holding an aerosol can of chlorofoam, that they’re pointing threateningly at the people in the chairs.

Amy: Katy! Mel! What the hell is this about?
Porcelain: I’m afraid the original producers are no longer in control. We’ve taken over.
Rachel: How? How on earth could you ever do this?

The camera cuts back to the big screen that is now showing Porcelain again.

Porcelain: What you now do for the next couple of hours is entirely up to you. Well sort of, but seeing as you agreed to be under the control of those in the production rooms, I‘m not making you do anything you haven‘t already agreed to. This mansion was set up to give the producers full control, I control everything, the sound systems, the cameras, which doors will and won’t unlock, even the windows are secured to make sure no one tries to sneak out. Most interestingly of all I have access to the computer that controls the sprinkler system. The mansions rural location, and the programmes insurance company require there has to be a large tank of fresh water for the sprinklers to use in case of fire. Well what would happen if someone interfered with the contents of the tank. Maybe replaced the water with some horrible substance. I don’t know, a liquidized mixture of garbage water, horse manure, engine oil, curdled milk and rotten eggs. I’d hate to be out there when the sprinklers went off.
Paris: She’s bluffing. There’s no way she’d ever do that.
Athena: I wouldn’t be too sure.
Porcelain: Well done Athena. Your a fast learner. In case there is any doubt though, I think a demonstration is called for. Gary, why don’t you set the sprinklers off, just in studio 1.

The camera pointing at Porcelain swings around again, and points at a closed, white door with a large square window on the upper half. The camera moves closer until we’re looking through it. We see a large, room, with white walls, and 2 other closed doors on different walls. In the middle we a collection of 7 shop mannequins, with wigs, dresses and shoes that mean they slightly resemble the 7 contestants. Suddenly a loud electronic beep is heard, quickly followed by nine more in quick rhythmic succession. On the final beep a rain of a dark brown liquid descends from above. Very quickly the mannequins are all soaked in a dark brown, fowl looking liquid.
The camera cuts back to the ballroom where we see all the contestants looking on in shock.

Amy: You’re going to do that to us?
Porcelain: Of course not. That would be so mean of me. What happens next is entirely up to you. Around the mansion you’ll find I’ve very kindly set up a number of my playrooms. In fact there’s a place to play for every one of you where you‘ll have no worries about that fowl smelling sludge. All you’ve got to do is find your playroom, then come in and play with me. Do that and you’ll be given access to a place where you’ll be safe from all that sludge in a couple of hours time. Of course if you don’t want to play with me, well Athena‘s right there, I’m sure she can tell you what happens.
Cleo: Come on. This isn’t on. You can’t just imprison people and force them to play your sick games. It’s inhuman.
Porcelain: I‘m not forcing anyone to do anything. If you decide not to play, and would rather face those consequences, that‘s entirely your decision. I don’t really see why your complaining anyway. You all signed contracts. You all whored yourself to the producers in search of fame. Well I’m about to give you exactly what you wanted. I’m going to make you world wide news.

As Porcelain speaks we notice the giant hourglass next to her slowly turns over, moved by some unseen mechanism. The camera then cuts to a close up of Porcelain’s face.

Porcelain: Hurry up your time is limited. Your all invited to my party, and, iiiiiiit’s playtime.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Author’s note: This is a very quickly written story specifically for a request from wamfan101. Hope you like it Image may be NSFW.
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“Welcome to this specially requested CSWL edition featuring Watford versus Liverpool. I am Kirsty Gallacher and I will be your host tonight.”

Kirsty is wearing a black leather dress and silver high heel shoes.

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“We have 2 band members from Little Mix with us tonight so please welcome Perrie Edwards and Leigh-Anne Pinnock.”

Perrie is wearing a short sparkly silver dress and black high heel shoes and Leigh-Anne is wearing a black/grey top, short black PVC skirt and green suede ankle boots.

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“Hello ladies, and can you explain the reasons for supporting your respective teams?”

Perrie went first “My boyfriend plays for Liverpool” and was quickly followed by Leigh-Anne “and my boyfriend plays for Watford”

“Ok, so neither of you know the result yet as we kept you away from the match in the green room. Before I announce the result, are you feeling confident?”

Leigh-Anne replied “Yeah, my team is going to pulverise Liverpool and I think Perrie will be getting extremely messy!”

Perrie disagreed “Are you in another world? Liverpool are so much better than Watford. It will be you getting the mess!”

Kirsty intervened “Calm down girls! Now, let me tell you the result. It was initially a close game and it was 0-0 at half time, but one team improved after the break and ran out 3-0 winners, and that team is………….”

Kirsty pointed up to an overhead screen which flashed up the score.

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Both ladies looked up, and immediately Perrie flung her arms in the air and celebrated her victory whilst Leigh-Anne put her head in her hands in disbelief.

“Ok Leigh-Anne, it’s time to receive your forfeits for each goal conceded. For the first goal conceded this means a good old fashioned custard pieing.” Kirsty picked up 2 custard pies and handed one to Perrie. Kirsty then faced Leigh-Anne and thrust her pie directly into her face. Leigh-Anne has no time to contemplate, as Perrie slapped her pie on top of Leigh-Anne’s head.

Leigh-Anne brought her fingers to her eyes and wiped them free of custard and looked out to see a smiling Perrie mouthing “I got you!”

Custard and cream streamed down her black hair as Leigh-Anne came to terms with her pieing.

Kirsty continued “For the second goal conceded it’s time for the gunge tank.”

Kirsty took Leigh-Anne’s hand and walked her to the tank and asked her to sit inside. The 27 year old singer obliged and nervously looked up to see a nozzle directly above her head.

Kirsty turned to Perrie “Would you like to push the button?”

“Yes please!” Perrie enthusiastically strode to the gunge tank and put her finger over the button and peered around the side to look at Leigh-Anne

“Time to get really gunged Ha Ha!”

The button was pressed and gallons of thick green gunge hit Leigh-Anne on her head, and it cascaded over her whole body. It was really thick and quickly covered every inch of Leigh-Anne. She felt some gunge flow inside of her top, and immediately brought her hands up to cover herself so that no more gunge could get inside.

Perrie chuckled as she witnessed the state that her friend was now in. “I think that outfit of yours is completely ruined!”

Leigh-Anne gradually stood up and walked out of the tank leaving a gungey green trail behind her.

“Is that it over now?”

Kirsty shook her head “No, we have to move onto the forfeit for the third goal conceded. This is a trip to our dunk tank. Come and follow me.”

The green blob that was Leigh-Anne, followed the ex-sports newsreader to the dunk tank that was on the other side of the stage. As they reached the large rectangular tank, Kirsty showed Leigh-Anne the steps at the back that she needed to go up in order to take her position on the seat that was on top of the tank. Gingerly, Leigh-Anne made her way up and sat down on the seat. She peered down beneath her to see that the tank was full of sloppy semolina.

“Yuck! That looks disgusting!”

Perrie smiled “Ha Ha, this is going to be great to watch.”

Leigh-Anne wipes some more gunge from her face and pulled her tongue out at her bandmate. At that precise moment, Kirsty pulled the lever which catapulted the singer into the semolina below.

She went headlong into the sloppy dessert and thrashed around to find the bottom of the tank with her feet, so she was able to stand up. The semolina was waist high and had covered her whole body.

Leigh-Anne clambered out with semolina and gunge dripping off her and joined Kirsty and Perrie. She looked down to her feet to see that she was now barefoot. Her green suede boots must be in the dunk tank, she thought.

Kirsty carried on “As Watford didn’t have any bookings, sendings off or missed penalties, then that’s the end of the forfeits for you.”

Leigh-Anne seemed a little relieved at that fact, as all of a sudden Perrie started to look worried “Hey, I didn’t know there were forfeits for those things.”

“Yes there are, so let’s see. There was 1 booking and 1 red card for Liverpool. This means 3 spins of the forfeit wheel, 1 for the booking and 2 for the sending off.”

Leigh-Anne started to smile “Ha Ha, you’re going to get messy even though your team won.”

“Hey, this isn’t fair.”

Kirsty frowned “Its all within CSWL rules, so all perfectly fair. Now, can you spin the wheel please?”

“No, I’m not going to. I don’t agree I should get messy as my team won!”

“It seems we have a problem here. We’re going to need some help with this one!”

From the left of the stage entered 2 policewomen and they walked quickly towards Perrie.

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Perrie tried to complain, but the WPC’s frogmarched her to a nearby pole and stood her in front of it. They moved her arms behind the pole and secured her hands together with handcuffs. Perrie wasn’t happy as she was now trapped against the pole, as the policewomen nodded to Kirsty and walked back off the stage.

“You’ve only got yourself to blame for this Perrie! As you are now physically unable to spin the wheel, I’ll ask Leigh-Anne to spin for you.”

Even though she was completely messed up, Leigh-Anne bounded over to the wheel with an enthusiastic air. She gave the wheel a mighty spin, and all watched as it landed on a segment called “Milk Shower”

A trolley which had opened bottles of milk was wheeled on and parked next to the pole. Kirsty proceeded to pick up the first bottle and promptly poured it over Perrie’s head. She squealed as the milk splashed over her blonde hair and down her face and down her silver dress. Kirsty did the same with the next few bottles, and then with the fifth she changed tactic. With her forefinger, she pulled out the front of Perrie’s dress slightly and poured the milk inside. This made Perrie squeal more as the cold liquid streamed over her tits inside her dress. Kirsty smiled and poured the last couple of bottles down her cleavage as well.

Leigh-Anne spun the wheel for her second time, and it landed on a segment called ‘Knickerbocker Glory’.

Another trolley was wheeled on, but this time it was laden with ingredients that would be associated with making a knickerbocker glory.

Kirsty smiled at Perrie as she grabbed the sides of her dress and hitched it up so that it was bunched around her waist, and revealed her white knickers.

Perrie closed her eyes, as she realised what was going to happen. As before the 25 year old singer squealed again as Kirsty poured a jug of cream into the front of her knickers. Kirsty then scooped some ice cream and put it in the back of her knickers. Perrie let out a ‘whoop’ as it was really cold and made a sensation against her warm skin. Kirsty next picked up a tin of golden syrup and poured that into the front of her knickers, until they were full up. Syrup, cream and ice cream started to seep through the bottom of the knickers and streamed down Perrie’s legs.

“Hope you enjoyed that Perrie”

“Very funny Kirsty”

Kirsty smiled and pulled Perrie’s dress down from her waist, so it returned to its original position.

Leigh-Anne spun the wheel for the third and final time and this time it landed on ‘Gunge Buckets’

An assortment of brightly coloured buckets were brought on and placed in front of Perrie. Kirsty asked Leigh-Anne to join her as they took position a few metres away from Perrie.

Kirsty and Leigh-Anne picked up a bucket each and started to gently sway them towards the shackled Perrie. Perrie cringed as she waited for the inevitable and she wasn’t disappointed as the two buckets were flung directly at her and covered her head and top half in thick red gunge. The next two buckets were flung in the same manner but this time it was thick blue gunge. For the final two buckets of thick green gunge, these were carefully tipped directly over Perrie’s head to ensure she got a complete gunge coating.

Kirsty and Leigh-Anne stepped back to admire their handiwork and looked pleased with themselves as Perrie was thoroughly gunged.

“I can’t believe this has happened!”

Kirsty scowled at Perrie “Oh shut up, just be thankful that we didn’t strip you!”

Kirsty turned to the camera “Thanks for watching this specially arranged CSWL edition. Don’t forget to tune in to see Gabby Logan hosting the Tottenham v Chelsea match featuring Natasha Kaplinsky and Gemma Bissix, and also Sophie Rose hosting the Villa v Birmingham match featuring Abbey Clancy and Sammy Winward.”

Kirsty was interrupted by the sound of laughing and shouting, and as she looked behind her, she saw that the still handcuffed Perrie was now being custard pied by not only Leigh-Anne, but also her other bandmates Jesy and Jade. They had been watching from the sidelines but had decided that the sight of a handcuffed Perrie was an opportunity they couldn’t miss.

Kirsty turned back to the camera “It appears that Perrie’s bandmates are particularly enjoying events tonight!”

The programmes credits began to roll as Perrie’s bandmates decide to humiliate her further by hitching her dress up around her waist, and proceeding to give her a wedgie. Perrie’s face was a picture as she felt both her knickers and cream, ice cream and syrup being forced into her most sensitive regions.

The camera panned back to Kirsty who simply said “Girls will be girls!”

Alright, I have really just realised that some/most of the readers here may/may not have a umd account of their own. So, following on from when I asked for suggested ‘special guests’ for Totally Trashed at the end of my last story, I figured I’d put a poll up here asking that question, to make it easier for you all. Many thanks to everyone who has submitted anyone for those slots via umd. Anyway, there are 7 still open, so I’ll take the first 7 non-duplicate suggestions. This’ll be open until I finish the Round 2 episodes or the 7 are suggested.

Right, that’s that closed up. Thanks to everyone who suggested a guest, including those who put theirs through as I was trying to figure out/remember  how to close the poll. Seen as that was more my fault than anything else, I’ll  put through what were the late entries as well as the others. It appears, however, that a fair few of the ‘special guest’ slots are going to feature 2 guests as a result! Thanks for all of the suggestions, well except the one that makes me want reach for some brain bleach! I’ll attach the full list of special guests to this post once I get it straightened out.

Scores are accurate as of the time of writing. Sorry for the late post.

As the show came back on, the theme tune blared out through the studio. Suzi always found the theme rather empowering for her, even if she thought it sounded way too serious for her silly slimy show.

Suzi was still sat on her seat, a small envelope on a side table to her right and what looked like a large white plastic tube pointed up out of the studio floor to her left. “Welcome back to Suzi’s Slop Drop! We’ve got two faces from the world of music on the show this week, and it’s about time we showed them exactly what they’ve let themselves in for. First though, here’s who we have and what they’re debating. First, Grace Chatto…”

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To the audience’s right was Grace Chatto, looking fairly relaxed about the whole thing. She was sat with her legs crossed and leaning back rather casually. After all, there was no way people would actually vote for the metal song, right? This was a popularity contest at the end of the day, and she should win such a thing with ease!

“Grace is a member of Clean Bandit, and they mix classical music elements with pop music. Grace loves what she does, and she thinks you lovely viewers will do too. After all, why else would they have had so many hit singles?” As Suzi sums up the argument, Grace smiles and nods along with it. “But it’s not really a vote without an opposing side, and our representative from that side is Simone Simons.”

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Simone is also smiling and trying to relax, but she can’t help worrying that she’s going to be at a major disadvantage. Inside her heart is pounding, even though she kept telling herself it would be like doing a music video shoot. Only this time, it was being shown live and all in a single take.

“Simone’s band Epica mixes classical music with pretty much the opposite kind of music to pop: metal! Simone believes that this more powerful mix of music is a natural fit. It’s such a natural fit, in fact, that Epica isn’t the only band doing it!” Simone smiles and nods as Suzi explains the Dutch singer’s side of the argument. “So we’re at the half-way point. Sim-Sim, you must be looking forward to seeing who’s on the way towards a messy fate!”

Simone chuckles a bit, nervously. “Well, that depends on who it is and what that messy fate is!”

“Well, that’s what we’re going to find out!” giggles the brunette presenter. “Surely you don’t think you’ve lost already, do you?”

The orange-haired operatic singer shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe! Our music isn’t as popular as Grace’s.”

“Just the kind of segue I needed!” Suzi grins, turning in her chair to face the Clean Bandit member. “Grace, what do you think?”

Grace just shrugged her bare shoulders and smiled. “I agree, and I do respect Simone for having the bravery to come on the show tonight but I don’t think it’s going to work out for her.” She gives a faux-sympathetic look to her redheaded rival and

“Quite the contrast!” Suzi chuckles. As she says that, a huge screen descends from the ceiling. “Well, we’ve got something fun lined up for whoever’s kind of music is trailing at the moment,” she says as the camera zooms in on the upright tube next to her. It’s filled to the brim with some sort of lime green liquid, with what looks to be some sort of small plastic balls floating in it. “So, let’s see how the results are currently looking…”

A plain white circle appears on the screen, with a green line forming a radius leading to the top. The line turns clockwise slowly around the circle, leaving two distinct green segments. The lighter green segment makes just over the first quarter of the resulting graph, the rest a darker green.

Simone bites her bottom lip. She knew it wasn’t likely that she was going to win this, but she had hoped it wouldn’t have been such a margin. Grace’s smug smile didn’t help things, for she had assumed the same thing – a resounding victory for her masses-friendly music over the brutality of heavy metal.

Then the labels popped up and ruined everything.Image may be NSFW.
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Both Simone and Grace’s jaws drop, for much the same reason but completely different mentalities. Grace buries her face in her hands. “Oh God, really?” she groans.

“Well well well! Our viewers must really like your song, Sim-Sim!” Suzi grins. “Or they really don’t like Grace’s. I couldn’t possibly say which…”

Simone laughs a little bit. “I don’t think either of us expected that! It’s like, three-to-one!”

“If you think you’re enjoying it so far, you ain’t seen nothing!” Suzi then turns to the purple-haired cellist. “So Grace, you must take a lot of care of your hands.”

Grace raises an eyebrow at Suzi’s question. Sure enough, she had fairly tough fingertips from years of cello playing and keeping her hands well maintained was essential for her as a musician, but she didn’t quite get why Suzi would make that comment. “Yeah… why?”

“Well, a few episodes ago, we started doing a mini messy forfeit at this point of the show for whoever was on-track to get the main Slop Drop forfeit. It used to be the Penalty Pie, but our masterminds of mess decided to add a bit of variety and so introduced this!” Suzi grins, standing up and pointing to the tube. “Come and take a look, I think you’ll enjoy this. Or at least, Simone and I will enjoy this!”

Taking a deep breath in frustration, Grace stands up and steps up to Suzi’s chair. She looks down at the tube and grimaces. “So what is it?”

“This,” Suzi points at the tube, “is the Mucky Dip! You stick your hand in and pull out a ball. Inside the ball is your First Results Forfeit.” Grace pouts as Suzi explains. She really doesn’t want to stick her hand in the gunge and reaches for the ball bobbing near the top. The presenter interrupts her before she goes to grab it. “Oh, and I should tell you that the least embarrassing ones have weights in the balls, so you’ll really have to dig deep if you want to save face!”

Grace cringes, putting her hands to her face. Mercifully for her, they hadn’t quite touched the gunge yet. “You’re joking, right?”

Suzi shakes her head. “Do you think I ever joke when gunge is involved, Gracie? If you want to make things easy on yourself, you gotta get deep down in there, girl!” she giggles.

Sighing and shaking her head defeatedly, Grace kneels down and plunges her right hand into the gunge. She puts her left hand on the rim of the tube to hold herself out of it. As her fingers go through the top layer of sludge, she winces. “Eurgh, it’s all cold and sticky!” she moans.

“Oh, if you think this is bad, I can’t wait to see how you handle the main forfeit!” cackles Suzi.

Grace pouts and shakes her head, her hand scything through the sludge as she tries to feel around for one of the plastic balls. She shivers at the feeling of the gunge engulfing her arm. It feels like an eternity of searching for her, but Grace grabs one of the balls within a few seconds and pulls it out of the muck, taking a lot of the sludge along with her. “There. What now?”

“I’ll take it for now,” Suzi says. Grace dumps the ball into Suzi’s outstretched palms along with a large blob of slime. The presenter puts on a brave fake grin – being no stranger to gunge herself, she’s used to it. At least, she should be, but this stuff is just that frigid and sticky! Most of it puddles in her hands, but quite a bit seeps between and over her fingers and onto the floor. “Well, if this is the nicest stuff, you really should be glad you’re not going on the Slop Drop yet!” shudders Suzi. She grips the ball and twists it, splitting it into two hemispheres. More gunge seeps out, revealing a small laminated card, no bigger than a business card. Suzi puts the split orb on the ground and reads the card. “It says: ‘Gunge Balloon’.”

“Oh God…” Grace laughs nervously. “Is it a big one?”

Suzi shrugs her shoulders. “This will be my first time seeing it too. You know who’s seen it before though? Our resident technological genius, Natalie! Get yourself up here!”

A very pale, curvaceous woman walks onto the Slop Drop set, carrying a large cardboard box. She’s dressed in a black trenchcoat with a metal-detailed vest top and leggings clinging to her body and drawing a bit of attention to her ample, pale bosom. Still, that paled itself to the wild blue dreadlocks she had running down her back, kept out of her face by a pair of goggles. “Here you go, Sooz. Don’t go trying to get me dunked this week, alright?” she says, her Welsh accent ringing clear.

“This again?” Suzi smirks standing up to receive the box. She places it carefully on the ground and opens it up. “That was weeks ago!”

“Aye, and I’m the one who has to make your wild contraptions, so just beware, alright?”

Suzi shakes her head as she reaches into the box and pulls out the balloon. It’s larger than her own head, and a lurid pinkish-red colour with an angry face scrawled on it. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a good letter this week, or so I’ve been told. As for right now though, Grace…”

While the attention has been off her, Grace has sat down and has wiped some of the gunge from her hands onto the side of the seat. Now, the attention is on her again. Her eyes go wide with shock as Suzi lifts the balloon up and carries it over to her, cringing and almost assuming a foetal position as it gets held in place over her head.

“Back in the eighties, Nena sang about ninety-nine red balloons and how they brought about the end of the world in nuclear armageddon!” Suzi grins as she holds it in place, her arms stretched out as much as she can to avoid getting splashed when it inevitably pops. “But I’ve got just one, and while it won’t destroy the world, it is going to destroy that lovely purple hair of yours! Simone, if you will…”

“Here,” Natalie says, handing Simone a small penknife.

The Epica singer takes the knife and smiles playfully. “At least you kind of know what to expect!” she says, stabbing the balloon near the bottom. It immediately disintegrates, the ball of slime inside collapsing all over Grace! Simone and Suzi immediately step backwards, hoping to avoid getting splashed with it. It doesn’t quite work and the release of pressure sends quite a few drops towards Suzi and Simone, leaving their faces and upper bodies peppered with lime green goop. It’s nothing compared to Grace, whose hand was already coated in a thick layer of slime. Now it was everywhere, from her once-violet hair to her face, chest, arms and legs. She squealed as the balloon burst and the slime splattered on top of her.

Simone handed the knife back to Natalie while Suzi stepped back to the front of the stage. “Well normally I’d ask how that was, Grace, but I think I know! It’s thick, sticky and pretty gross!” Suzi laughs.

Grace wipes her eyes and crosses her arms, pouting a bit. “You got off lightly though!”

“Well, I’m the host! It’s my job to dish out the gungings, not take them!”

“You say that but…” Natalie starts.

Suzi clears her throat. “But nothing, Natalie. If you’re sticking around, why don’t you make yourself useful and check on this week’s Slop Drop?” Natalie doesn’t say anything but instead shrugs her shoulders and vanishes backstage. “Now normally I’d read a letter from the audience but…” Suzi holds her slimy palms up to the camera. “Simone, you’ve probably got the cleanest hands of the three of us, so why don’t you read the letter this week?”

Simone doesn’t seem too bothered by the gunge that’s splattered her face and body. She points to the envelope on the little table. “This?” she asks. Suzi nods, and Simone picks up the envelope, opens it and reads it.

Dear Suzi,

I have a friend called Tiffany, whom I met online. She’s usually a nice and sweet lady, but when we play videogames together, she’s totally different! She takes even the most casual and fun games way too seriously. I think she really needs to chill, and you’ve probably got just the vat of sludge to do it with!

With love,

Piper

“Ooh, a grumpy gamer girl! That’s a new one for me!” Suzi smirks. “Tiffany, Piper, come on up here!”

Two women stand up. One of them’s rather chubby with curly green hair and rather large glasses. She’s dressed in a black t-shirt with the Triforce on it and some baggy jogging bottoms and a pair of old high-tops. The other is a more slender blonde woman in a white t-shirt with some kind of cartoon rabbit on it, along with a pair of white denim jeans and white trainers. They both make their way to the stage, both somewhat eagerly.

“Welcome to the Slop Drop, girls. Normally I’d offer you a hug, but…” Suzi gestures to her slime-splattered body. “I’m sure Grace wouldn’t mind a hug though!”

Figuring she might as well play along, Grace stretches her arms out. The green-haired woman looks at Grace and shakes her head while the blonde just laughs a little.

“Not so keen, huh? Well, one of you is going to look a lot like Grace in a bit, but whom?” Suzi grins. “First of, which of you is Tiffany?”

“That’s me!” the blonde smiles. “And I think it’s unfair that Piper wants to gunge me for a bit of banter! If she wants me to stop telling her to get good she could… well, get good?”

Piper scoffs. “See what I have to put up with, Suzi? Imagine that, but all the time when we’re just trying to have fun?”

“Hey, winning is fun!” Tiffany grins.

Suzi just shrugs her shoulders. “Well, this is one of the most open-and-shut cases I’ve seen in a long time!”

“You mean this scrub is about to get rekt?” Tiffany asks, sticking her tongue out playfully at her friend.

“I don’t know what that means, but I think the answer is ‘no’…” the presenter deadpans. “What I mean is I think Piper should have a shot at getting her own back on Tiffany. But how…”

Grace calls out, “I’m not picking out another punishment!”

“I wasn’t going to ask you to!” Suzi retorts. “This is the point of the show where we give you a look at what’s going to be awaiting one of our celebs, by having our lucky winner Tiffany go through a light mode version of it! So, what’s our punishment this week? Sim, Grace, you come along too!”

The great industrial door at the back of the stage raised up to reveal a long room with a big pool of green gunge, quite similar to what Grace (and to a much lesser degree Simone and Suzi) was covered in. There was a long purple track that led to the back of the room, going up and down some ramps and even through a loop. Sure enough, Natalie was stood at the far end, next to a seat attached to the track with some restraints ready to hold whoever was sat in the chair in place. The assembled people walked over, Grace dripping gunge behind her as she made her way over. “Now this is my finest bit of kit ever, the Gunge Coaster!” Natalie smiles proudly. “It’s self-explanatory really. Tiffany, you’re going to sit here and we’re going to send you along the track until the end, where the seat will open up and drop you in the slop.”

“Ooh, but I’ll bet there are some nasty messy surprises!” Suzi beams.

“There are, but I’ll be saving them for the celeb!”

Grace gulps at Natalie’s words. The coaster itself already looks pretty intimidating to her, and she’s on course to end up riding it. Simone looks pretty stunned too – even though it’s not her, it’s going to be pretty crazy!

“But Tiffany’s still going to end up in the vat, right?” asks Piper.

Suzi nods. “It’s Suzi’s Slop Drop, so there’s got to be a drop into some slop!”

Tiffany bites her bottom lip. It’s a pretty mad contraption and while she was somewhat looking forward to facing one of the ridiculous devices the show tended to have, this was something else! She looks to Piper. “I’m sorry hun! I didn’t realise it annoyed you that much!” she says with a slight laugh.

“No no! Too late for that! Tiffany, kick your shoes off and take a seat!” Suzi insists.

“Worth a try!” Tiffany laughs, kicking her shoes off and sitting in the seat. Her soles grip the footrest and she pulls the restraint down over her head. Natalie locks it into place with a loud clunk. There was no going back now! Tiffany was going to be riding the Gunge Coaster. A shiver went down her back, and it couldn’t be from one of the celebrities dripping gunge onto her, as they were all stood well back.

Natalie stands by a lever on a small control panel on the wall. “Piper, want to do the honours?” she asks. Piper nods and steps up to the lever, pulling it down with some enthusiasm. Sparks fly from the back of the seat as the chair starts moving, immediately heading down a drop steadily building momentum. Tiffany grips on for dear life as she passes under some gunge nozzles – no doubt these were the surprises for the celebrity rider later, but they’re not active just yet. Still clean, the chair goes up a hill and over a small pit of slime. Tiffany doesn’t look down just yet as it goes down the hill on the other side of the slime pit. She doesn’t look at all, closing her eyes and squealing as the seat makes it through the loop and over one last hill, before descending towards the pit. However, the chair suddenly stops. Tiffany is lulled into a false sense of security as she opens her eyes and lets go of the restraint bars. As soon as she does, however, Natalie presses a big red button labelled “EJECT”. A cascade of lime green slime begins to fall from above as the chair restraints open up, sending her face-first into the soft slime in the bottom. She vanishes with a splash, emerging moments later as a sloppy mess. “So it’s something like that,” Natalie says with a proud grin.

“Well Piper, you got to throw Tiffany into the slime. How do you feel?” Suzi asks.

Piper grins. “Brilliant! That will teach Tiffany some manners!”

Suzi then turns to the two slimy celebrities. “As for you two, that’s what awaits one of you later on. What do you think?”

“I am not going on that!” Grace scoffs.

“Actually you probably are since you’re ahead,” points out Simone. “I’m really glad I’m not you right now!”

Suzi then turns to the camera. “Well, there’s still time for things to turn around. Here are the voting details…”

“We’re going to clean up a bit, then we’ll see you in part three!” Suzi says as the show cuts to Tiffany in the vat, actually beaming quite widely at her sticky predicament. She’s absolutely coated from the waist up – below that she’s immersed in the slime!

If you haven’t voted in this yet, you still can. If you have, you can do so again. And again. And again, and again, and again! Yep, I’ve disabled the repeat vote block! Or to use its proper term: I’ve Reverse Mash-Up’d. Reverse Mashed-Up? <shrug>

Please Note:

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Well, hello all. I  have been –

You know what, no long speech this time.

Just enjoy!

ALL GAMES AND GUNK DUNK QUESTIONS ARE DECIDED BY CHANCE, FAIR AND SQUARE.

The infamous titles rolled across the screens, showing many of the shenanigans of NGYOB. Daft games, kids in the audience and in NGYOB tops looking excited, and adults looking either flustered or embarrassed, with the odd one looking like they were having fun all the same too. It showed messy goings on, from gunge being rained from above, pies being flung and more importantly, a few clips of adults being thrown into the gunge. The NEW Get Your Own Back had been back for a few series now, and it was as popular as ever judging by the amount of footage shown in the build up. Finally, as the latest victim – KAT – was shown being sprung into the mucky morass, it faded out to reveal the moving image of Katie Thistleton, smiling and hair fluttering next to the logo of her popular show.

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Series 5: Episode 2

It swept away to reveal the studio, prominent with the team colours of yellow and blue all over with the struts and poles holding up the edges which all domed out across the circular space. The audience was filled with a mixture of kids and a few adults even, who were roaring and cheering as they always did when the cameras began to roll. After all, NGYOB offered the chance for any child to get some satisfying revenge on an adult, and with it being messy and daft, what was not to like? They all sat around the edges of the space, prime viewing for the events that would follow in the middle of the set, all wondering what games would be on display today.

And in the background, overlooking the whole show, was the infamous Gunk Dunk. Still fresh – sort of – from it’s revamp. Smaller dunking chairs which were currently tilted slightly forward right above the tank, kids podiums hanging over the vat so as to give a fantastic view and finally, all being constructed out of a sort of glass which made it all light up pretty in some neon studio lights. The vat itself of course was see through, but before any hint of what lay within its walls were shown to the cameras, they panned upward to Katie’s podium as the host stepped up to it holding up her hands.

“Welcome to The New Get Your Own Back!”

Cue more cheering and roaring from the audience as Katie walked from behind her podium and down some steps off to the side, bounding down and jumping the last two. Today she was wearing some simple blue skinny jeans ending in white converse, and loose fitting black t-shirt. Her wavy blonde hair was down by her shoulders, as it often was these days and she seemed pumped for the show, again as she often was. She bounded into the middle of the studio, the cameras getting a quick glimpse of a darker looking goo beyond the glass before she stepped in front of it.

“Yes this is the show that allows you to bring in any adult who is really annoying, and plaster them with my gunge which trust me is downright revolting, right in front of their friends, your friends and the whole nation! Woo! And, even in front of the whole world these days due our YouTube channel and the CBBC app. Oh yes, they’ll wallow in that muck for everyone to see. But who have we got for the grot today? Let’s find out!”

The camera spun around, showing off again the audience and the set. In the middle of the audience opposite the Gunk Dunk, two kids walked in through a gap in between their peers. Katie introduced both girls as Jemma, 11, for the yellow team, and 12 year old Samantha who was playing on the blue team today. Both of them walked, cheered on by all around and stood next to Katie. Jemma looked slightly nervous, whereas Samantha seemed a bit more confident and excited to be on the show. Maybe it was the age, or maybe it was the nature of the cameras, but these two girls did seem different upfront. Jemma seemed like she’d be more of a shy girl, in contrast with Samantha, who appeared to look confident with plenty of reason of being in the studio. Katie put her arms around them both.

“Welcome ladies, you both seem like great girls. Hope you’re both ready for today’s show. Now, I want to start with you first Jemma, who is it that you want to Get Your Own Back on today?”

YELLOW TEAM

“My um…teacher. M – Ms Ford.”

“Ohh a teacher, oh no, I bet she’s horrible. Let’s have a look.”

Dear Katie,

I want to get my own back on my English teacher Ms Ford.

The VT showed Jemma sitting at her desk, bored and hardly paying attention. It spun around and in the distance was Ms Ford, droning away. She seemed actually, to be a pretty ordinary teacher on the face of it. But of course she wasn’t, as Jemma continued.

She’s quite an annoying teacher at the best of times but once spring rolls round, that’s when it gets really bad!

A door opens, and focuses on a pair of feet in sandals, nails painted with a glossy faint red colour. In they walk, past a load of desks and chairs. It zooms out, and is revealed to be Ms Ford, dressed for spring yet still professional like for a teacher. The next shot though, shows all of the kids sitting listening to her standing up.

Ms Ford loves to arrive at school wearing a pair of Birkenstock sandals but once the lessons start, the sandals come off, she actually teaches bare foot! Eww!

She bends down quickly, holding up her sandals and putting them for some reason on the table. None of the kids are fazed by it, all seemingly non too fussed. But as soon as Ms. Ford turns away, they all collectively shake heads, and some even cover their mouths and noses for a moment.

They really smell and worse still she’ll use her toes to pick up a pen or rubber if they fall on the floor.

Jemma drops her pen, bends down to pick it up and is facing Ms Fords feet, one of which takes the pen and rises up and onto the desk for Jemma. Jemma, being a lovely girl, picks it away and gives a strained smile at her teacher. She then bends down toward the camera as Ms Ford walks away.

“Please put a stop to this…AND DUNK HER KATIE!”

The last shot shows all the kids looking at the camera and joining in with Jemma, as Ms Ford sits feet up at the desk. She looks shocked, and then a load of scrunched up paper comes into shot hitting and bouncing off her, showing that all of the kids have clearly had enough.

Back in the studio, Katie and Jemma stand to the camera, with the host shaking her head and putting an arm on her hip.

“Oh OK, so not horrible in the sense of strict. Horrible in the sense of an awful bad habit. I feel so sorry for you and your classmates Jemma, putting up with that! Ms Ford, front of the class please!”

The camera cut to 25 year old Ms Heather Ford, who was walking out from the same gap where the kids had a few moments earlier. The shot rushed in close to show her walking in between the kids, who were all jeering and booing. In fact a couple of them were recognisable as her kids from class, no doubt a school trip having been organised for the show. As it zoomed out a bit, Ms Heather Ford was shown to be around 5’2, with an athletic build. It was clear she’d been to the gym a few times. Her badge – which simply read Heather – bounced on her just-above-average sized chest. Her hair was a dark ginger, which was like Katies, coming to her shoulders and slightly wavy. She had a perfect fit yellow top on, with a pair of similarly perfect fit shorts. This showed off her powerful yet smooth looking legs, which under the studio lights were on full display. She seemed to be happy to be on the show, carefree in many ways even knowing the risk. Yet as she stood next to her student and Katie, putting her hands behind her back and smiling around, she had spied the Gunk Dunk and already felt a few goosebumps on her. She even felt warm for a moment or two. The point is, she’d come for a laugh and to show how outgoing she was, but on the day itself she now wasn’t as sure about the potential of being flung into a mucky tank. Katie turned to her and folded her arms.

“RIGHT. Ms Ford. Can I call you Heather?”

Ms Heather Ford smiled and raised her eyebrows, speaking with a condescending, hint of sass toward Katie.

“Ms Ford, please Katie. I’m a teacher, not a mate.”

Katie, looking stunned for a moment smiled and tried to keep a straight face as she spoke again. Perhaps it wasn’t part of the script, or maybe the line made her chuckle but either way she took a moment.

“I’ll call – ha – I will call you what – hehe – right….I will call you whatever I like, HEATHER, as it is my show. Now, teachers can be awful but you actually don’t seem too bad. You seem nice, a bit of fun…I’d almost feel guilty about having you but I have to say, having your feet out in class is pretty rank Miss, especially since they…well smell.”

Heather kept her posture, hands behind her back as Katie explained, and pursed her lips while blinking heavily for a moment as Katie mentioned her feet. She then shrugged her shoulders and smiled at Katie.

“Well, this is your show, but that is my classroom. So much like your show, I can do anything I want. And if my feet need a bit of air, I’ll let them! And as for smell? I think Jemma and her friends are just taking that out of proportion. It doesn’t really bother them as much as they’re letting on, they just want to be on telly.”

Katie put a hand on her hip and held up her hand to the teacher, looking at her audience.

“I don’t think they’re fussed about the telly, they just want to see ya end up smelly, MISS HEATHER.”

At this, the audience burst out in cheering and laughter. Heather looked all around, raising her eyebrows and looking not too bothered about this, as she spoke over them to Katie.

“Don’t talk back to me!”

“Cor’ blimey. You can tell she’s a teacher deary me. She’ll be a lot of fun I think HAHAA!”

Katie turned to Samantha, who was in blue of course.

BLUE TEAM

“OK, so Samantha, who is it that you want to dunk, coat and soak with gunge today?”

“My swimming coach, called Carly.”

“Ah, an interesting one. Let’s find out more then!”

The VT opens with a sped up video of a group of kids, all bustling into a changing room. They come out and line up, one by one. A whistle is heard and in from the side comes Carly, the swimming coach. She toots her whistle and one by one the kids jump into the pool. And then with the last one, she gives a gentle push. Stepping back out of frame.

Dear Katie,

My name is Samantha, I’m 12 and I live in Manchester. Please can you help me get my own back on my swimming coach, Carly on behalf of the entire Chorlton swimming team!

Carly is a slave driver, she makes us get in for training really early before school, she sits at the side of the pool giving orders while eating her breakfast and having a coffee.

Once more, it shows the video of them all going into the changing rooms, but this time it’s dark and brightens to show it’s the crack of dawn almost. Carly is seen coming into shot with a chair, a mug of coffee and some toast. She blows her whistle and once more, in the kids jump into the pool one by one as she lazies around in her chair watching and enjoying her early morning treat.

Then, after school she’s just as bad. She never gets into the pool because she says the chlorine will “ruin her perfect hair” and “chip her nails” but she expects us to be in the water for over 2 hours a day.

And again, here comes the video showing the kids going in and out of the changing rooms. A pattern is showing now. The kids come in, have to quickly get ready and jump into the pool, but all the while Carly seems to be barely doing anything. This time, in line with not wanting to ruin her image, she is shown at the poolside at the side of the shot with a hand held mirror, blowing her whistle without even watching the kids much. Samantha comes up below her, acting tired for a moment…and then Carly places her barefoot on the kids head and pushes it back into the water.

To “motivate” us, if she thinks we are slacking, she takes her foot from her flip-flop and pushes our heads under the water with her bare foot. Then at the end of the session, before we can shower, she makes us tidy all the equipment from around the pool.

The framed shot is shown again, and the same routine as Carly sits beside the pool blowing her whistle, even painting her toenails in her chair as the kids move swimming equipment all around. These shots are shown again, and again, and again, speeding up each time to show the cycle of what the slave driver puts them through.

Please, Katie, get our slave driver swimming coach to dive in the gunge dunk and give her precious hair and nails a coating of gunge!

This time, the routine changes. The kids all gather around their coach who is sitting in her poolside chair. And then, as Carly blows her whistle at them, three of the kids together lift her chair at the back, tipping their lazy coach forward and into the pool with a splash. All of them cheer as the water below chops around before cutting back to the studio, focusing on Katie and Samantha.

“Wow. A swimming coach slave driver. Unbelievable, does she even swim? Let’s find out. Out you come!”

Over to the gap in the audience and out trots Carly. Once again, booing and jeering echoes out and yet again there are familiar faces from the video as the swimming instructor emerges, some of her students grinning in the audience whilst shouting down their coach. A little bit taller than Heather at 5’7, and older at 29, Carly seemed to even act older than she was as she walked out into the studio. She had the faintest of smiles on her face, but mostly seemed focused for the moment. In truth, she was enjoying the prospect of the show, but she was determined to play up her stern character throughout, and wanted to give the impression that she should not be on the show at all. Her hair was long and brown, reaching down to her shoulders. Her fringe was brushed and lifted over her head, showing that she did take good care of her appearance, but it was also free to bounce on her shoulders. She had a slim figure, but was more average – not skinny nor in any way chubby. She wore a perfect fitting blue top which showed off an average sized chest, but her shorts hugged her figure on full display giving a lovely view of her small round behind. She had a womanly curvy figure from her thighs and her shapely beautiful legs were on full show, although in her mind she hated wearing shorts, as she didn’t like her curves – but after all, this was only a kids show, and they’d be easier to wear for the games. She came to a stop next to her young student, placing her legs firmly together and clasping her hands in front of her as the audience reduced now to titters and Katie began chatting.

“Well hello Carly. So let me get this straight; the kids are in the pool at the crack of dawn, into the evening, swimming up and down constantly…and you just, chill? Wha?”

Carly raised an eyebrow and a smirk crossed her mouth. Almost devilish in a way. She opened her mouth and looked around for a moment, and then snapped back to Katie.

“Well. I teach them swimming. And they swim. Simple as that. What’s the issue?”

Katie laughs and sighs.

“Er, the fact you constantly work them hard while you sit on your butt all day Carly. Not fair. Do you swim at all?”

Carly unclasps her hands and holds them open, then pats them back against her thighs.

“Of course. Well, I mean I can swim, but it’s not my skill to learn. Besides, I mean, why would I want to ruin these nails, and this hair, and my makeup. They’re taking the lessons, they can take the swim.”

Booing echoed out all around at this firm answer, and Carly once again appears to smirk, enjoying how she’s a villainess in many ways to all of the kids around. Katie shakes her head and points.

“I’d watch it Carly. I have a swimming pool of sorts too, and I wouldn’t mind seeing you take a good long swimming lesson in it.”

Laughter and cheering rung out at Katies sentence, firmly shutting down Carly who widens her eyes and continues with her wicked smile. At this, Katie holds up her hands to everyone all around, then prods thumbs in the directions of the two ladies.

“Right then! We all know how this works of course, but I better explain for these two. We’re going to be playing a load of games today, daft and messy and all over the place. Why? Because I personally think Heather and Carly need to be made to look ridiculous and silly so we can all have a good laugh. But there is some point to it I suppose, because whoever wins the game will get a slight edge.”

Katie strutted around the teams now, prodding Heather in her shoulder and patting Carly’s head, making both women frown a little bit at this cocky host suddenly taking the mickey out of them it seemed. And then, she backed up as the camera followed her toward the ominous Gunk Dunk set behind her, and the large see through tank.

“And that edge may help them toward throwing one of their nasty grownups into this UTTERLY nasty stuff right here. Oh yes, this, is my Gunk Dunk, just look at it. Ooooooh yes!”

The camera suddenly dipped down past Katies legs to the wall of the tank. Through it, could be seen a few layers which seemed stacked ontop of one and other. Olive green, then tyrian purple, going up the wall. As the camera focused in on it, it finally came over the wall and to the surface itself. On top, the two colours continued to dominate it all over. However there was a few other features, rather than just a smooth surface of goo. Somehow, the CBBC scientists had some up with a way to make that same colour into a thick cream of sorts. Whereas the last show had what seemed like a layer of white cream on top, this gunge was topped with cream that matched the overall colours of the contents below. This meant that the top, more than ever, seemed lumpy and foamy in places – in fact even, chunky in spots. Not too appealing at all, especially with how both colours had mixed in a little bit in places. But where this monstrous weird blended cream wasn’t sitting, the much loved thick gooey gunge sat still and shone in the lights. And for the first time, the gunge seemed to be tailored to the adults. Painted in white in places were some small socks – a nod to how Heather should cover her feet in class. And in and around them, painted as well, where some small swimming shorts, a clear reference to Carly of course. Out at the edges of the tank, it was rimmed with a build up of the gooey looking cream, and seemed to be crusting. Some of it appeared to have gone up the walls and a little down the edges too. And finally, in the middle of it all was huge white letters spelling out a message:

CREAMY AND STEAMY

A thin line of white around the message made a heart, but with the tank being large, it left enough room for all the little symbols tailored to the adults. The very idea of someone calling the Beeb’s most infamous vat…creamy, was strange and lent to the idea for the kids that the tank truly was a horrible place, and would be constantly mocking the adults. The whole thing was done up in such a strange, contrasting way. It was delightfully horrid looking, Katie had said in the morning. She’d been keen to stress that the Gunk Dunk shouldn’t look bland or, ‘not too bad’, but look atrocious, uninviting and unpleasant for all. And it certainly did, what with the strange, gloomy colours, weird matching coloured cream, mocking message. Not to mention the cold, thick, gooey gunge that was as ever quite smelly – the same old stuff kids had come to expect every episode. Turning from the tank and breathing in, Katie sighed then walked forward.

“Ahhhhhh. Disgusting. Just how we like it. Because by the end of the show, one of these two will find themselves plunged right in, to be absolutely coated. Trust me ladies, you do not want a facefull of that.”

She slapped both of their behinds all of a sudden. Katie just seemed, more cocky and determined today as she then shouted out.

“Let the games, COMMENCE!”

Round 1: Cracking good time!

The cheering continued as the title card flew off of the screen, and the camera panned down low, toward Katie and her two contestants. Both of them wearing some pads for their elbows and knees, meaning this was probably an active game. Behind them was an obstacle course, filled on the floor with bits of straw and grass decorations. All around were some inflatables, done up as though they were hedges. There were smaller hedges acting as obstacles, inflatables of pigs and cows and also a couple of long chicken coop like huts to be able to crawl through. All around the course on the floor were little eggs, and in the distance was something that made all of the kids watch on in anticipation. A giant egg sat atop some sort of weighing mechanism, the scales were two large baskets hanging out above at the sides, just a bit higher than the height of the kids. In front of these two, on the floor were two baskets filled with straw large enough for someone to stand in each one. Katie grinned and raised her eyebrows, motioning to the set around her with her hands.

“A brilliant new game here at Get Your Own Back, and I’ve been looking forward to this one. What both Jemma and Samantha have got to do, is run around this small farmyard and pick up as many of those white eggs that they can. Once they have them, they need to bring them through the course…”

Katie picked one up and ran through the small chicken coop, bending down and crawling through, tossing it neatly into the basket. It lowered a tiny bit under the weight and as it did this, the large egg up above tipped a little bit downward on Katie’s side.

“Then chuck them into the basket on their side! They only have one shot at this, and each egg is worth a total of 10 points! But for all of the eggs they do get in the basket, that giant egg will tip this way, or that. But what happens then? Well, please welcome out our big chickens!”

The cameras spun around and went to the gap in the audience, who were all beginning to laugh. Out walked Heather and Carly, although waddling out would have been more appropriate. They were both wearing what looked like fluffy yellow fleeces, and bright orange tights complete with chicken themed footwear. On their heads each was a small hat of yellow each, and off of their arms were feathers attached to their sides, making them look like wings. And on their faces, was a spot of light makeup. A bit of yellow, a bit of orange but nothing like and silly masks covering them or anything – just a light bit of decoration on their mugs so their expressions could be easily made out, they didn’t look fully pleased at this scenario as they finally came to stand next to Katie. Heather was frowning, with the fact her students were all seeing her like this, and Carly had rolled her eyes as she came out, a grimace across her face at the whole predicament. Katie chuckled and spoke again.

“Oh yes look at these two mother hens, looking flustered I must say. Now they’re to stand in these baskets on the floor, in front of the baskets hanging on the scales back here. At the end of the game, the contestant with the most eggs in their basket will of course have the giant egg up there leaning in one direction. And whichever way it’s leaning, it will crack and give one of these two, a very eggy surprise from above, oh yes! But you both have whisks to y’know, beat the eggs away huh?”

Both ladies held up feeble whisks. Neither looked confident that their little tools would help them, and at the mention of something eggy from above, both glanced awkwardly toward Katie. Looking as daft as they did, neither fancied getting coated in anything messy to further their embarrassment. The two kids seemed ready to go, the adults felt silly and the audience was waiting.

“Right, well if we’re all ready, three, two, one, GO!”

Both Jemma and Samantha darted from their starting lines and into the farm themed course to grab an egg each. Samantha grabbed one, and climbed over an inflatable cow, whilst Jemma grabbed one that she saw outside the small chicken coop tunnel. This was a good decision, as she was able to quickly crawl underneath and through it, stumbling up to stand in front of her teacher. Heather, standing in her basket simply waved her whisk at her young student pathetically as the egg sailed past her to land neatly in the basket. As Jemma turned away, up above the giant egg listed toward her teacher, giving her a quick edge. But this only lasted a moment or so, as on the other side, Samantha neatly chucked one of hers into the basket for her. Carly turned and looked up as Samantha darted back into the course; the egg leveled back up again. She raised her eyebrows and awaited another chance to strike away an egg. Both kids were evenly matched in pace by the looks of it, both making their way around the course at the same speed. The eggs weren’t necessarily hard to find, some dotted on the floor, others nestled in bits of straw and on or two decorations and inflatables. Because of this, the kids easily netted one or two eggs back into their baskets on the scale, the giant egg going one way or another every few moments.

Both adults could only really stand and watch as this happened, but there was enthusiasm each time the kids returned; Heather looking to actively try and hit the eggs away as though she actually had a shot, and Carly just shaking her whisk at Samantha with no huge effort to hit the egg. Naturally, the whisks were small and so didn’t help in the slightest, this was more of a game of who was faster and a better shot at getting eggs in baskets. And as it was turning out, both girls were pretty good at it, with the baskets being quite large. So much so, that when the final countdown began, the egg was still level. Both girls knew this as they heard the audience, and both sped up for the last sting of the game. Jemma grabbed an egg off an inflatable chicken so hard that it rocked back on forth violently, and Samantha pretty much slid and collided into a batch of hay with an egg on top. But as Jemma got up and made her way toward the scales, Samantha had to chase the now rolling egg across the floor. This cost her precious seconds, and everyone knew it! As Jemma emerged from the small tunnel on the ground, the hapless school teacher began swinging her whisk. Mouth open and eyes pleading almost she was shaking her head toward her student. Heather knew that Jemma could easily miss the basket and it would be a draw – although nothing was explained about such circumstances. But then again…Heather knew Jemma had got all eggs into her basket thus far, and as it sailed past her, she followed it with her eyes, looking behind her and then upward. The little egg landed neatly in the basket as the final two seconds were counted, and the egg listed a little bit toward the yellows side of the scale, stopping as the klaxon sounded out. A loud cracking sound rang out…

CRACKKKKK – CLUCK! CLUCK!

Up above, the egg fully turned to its side and then pointed more or less down toward to the yellow teacher. The top seemed to have a small hole or nozzle or something sitting on it, and as the chicken sounded out one last time in an alarming way, from the top of the egg a yellow and white mixture gushed out quickly, directly onto the head of the silly chicken standing underneath! Ms Heather Ford had her face scrunched up as the goo collided with the top of her head, knocking off the themed chicken hat she was wearing. It immediately splashed out over her shoulders, slopped down her face and through her dark red hair. A bit more white fell with the mixture too, plopping onto her in sticky globs, and sliding down her. The yellow became dominant again with a fresh bit of strength too; the yellow was sticky, very sticky as it hit and domed out over head again, plenty of it running down her face and shoulders, down her arms and dripping off of her. Her arms were glued to her sides, but comically her fingers at her hips were stuck out. It was as though she had frozen in shock as she continued getting rained on from above. It finally began to weaken, and with one last burst of yellow and white, which gave her a lovely two toned look, it stopped. The yellow was hanging off of her chin, ears and nose in little drips. Her fingers were covered in white which was hanging off in strands and her head had clumps of white with a glazing of yellow; soggy and dripping like the rest of her. She stayed stood like that, arms straight at her side with her dripping fingers stuck out, face embarrassingly scrunched up under its new coating as she blew away some of the stuff from her lips as calmly as she could.

“OHHHHH! What an egg-cellent surprise that was! Ha! Oh yes!”

Katie came jogging in, stopping in between a smug Carly and the gooey Heather. She held her hands out and clapped them as she twisted her body toward the teacher in yellow. The audience was still giggling, a lot of Heathers students happily craning and muttering so they could get a look, enjoying seeing their teacher get effectively egged in a large way on TV. And a couple slyly took snaps on their phones, although no cameras were technically allowed in the studio. All the while, Heather stayed put like a statue, embarrassed by her sliming whilst wearing a daft costume.

“Sorry, that was a bad yolk. And I wasn’t talking about just the pun! That stuff your wearing doesn’t look nice, all gooey and sticky! I mean no one likes a bad egg – especially being covered in one! I think your students enjoyed seeing you looking beat though! Ha!”

Heather stayed in her stance, but finally opened an eye to look at Katie as she started to relax a little bit from her brace she’d been stuck in. With all her students watching, and Katie making light of it all, she didn’t half feel ridiculous. A frown came across her, as a white blob dribbled down and hung from her nose comically.

“ALRIGHT! Enough of the jokes, serious business now. Time to look at some of these eggs, right, excuse me Heather I’ll just, er, step past you. Right….so Jemma well done you have a total of 7 eggs in your basket! And when we look over here…1, 2 … yeap thought so, Samantha you got 6 eggs into your basket. So not much in it, but enough for the egg to sway at the end!”

Katie stepped back out in front of the women now as the kids joined her.

“Samantha you have 60 points, and Jemma you have the lead from the first game with 70 points!”

Both kids cheered at their efforts, although Samantha did look a little less enthusiastic knowing it was a silly mistake that both cost her potentially seeing her swimming teacher slimed and also pulling ahead early on, but didn’t mind too much. Carly was smiling behind her, clapping along with everyone else – the polite thing to do. And as for Heather, dripping with yellow and white, she simply was wiping her mouth and eyes now. Some of the goo had gone into her costume and she wasn’t feeling best pleased about this sticky substance, and it all dripping from her. This was only the first game and the goo felt rank as it was! But she wasn’t the only one thinking about if things could be worse, as even Carly thought about the gunging she’d just witnessed, and wonder how on earth she could ever put up if she was thrown into a tank full of the stuff.

Round 2: Snot Who?

Katie walked in and stood between both Carly and a now cleaned up Heather, putting her arms around both of them. In the background was the gunge and she was happily mocking them.

“So on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad, and gross and horrible does that stuff look?”

Both ladies seemed quiet and looked at each other whilst Katie cackled.

“I don’t think you can put it on a scale! HA! Right this way both of you!”

Katie tapped their shoulders and all three walked forward. They stood in front of two large spinning wheels, with yellow and blue segments them. They almost looked like wheels of fortune. However, apart from an arrow at the top there was a large nose sitting there on each one. But despite looking like that, they weren’t wheels of choice; no numbers or anything on them, but it looked as though someone could be attached to the large circles, much like the old Squeal on the Wheel game from GYOB past. Katie grinned at them both and explained what this was all about.

“So, another show, another twist on our Goo Who format. As the old rules of this round ladies, you each get 20 seconds to explain why you shouldn’t go into the gunge. Seems easy enough, yeah? Well not exactly. You each get a turn, but you each have to do it, whilst spinning on a wheel behind me! That’s right! Your 20 seconds of pleading must take place while you’re being span around quickly, adds more pressure!”

Heather frowned, but then smiled in a curious way. She’d gotten over her earlier sliming and felt like she could maybe take anything now – well bar the Gunk Dunk later, but the games seemed harmless. She shook her head and raised her eyebrows as Katie described the round. Carly on the other hand crossed her legs as she stood and bit her lip. She frowned and looked at the wheels again. She was thinking of safety more than anything, but still had a slight smile at the corners of her mouth. It seemed like a fun twist and she was already trying to compose herself, thinking up a few words to say whilst she was on the wheel. She nodded to herself, feeling sure she could focus and say the right stuff.

“We will then have our audience cheer as usual for who they would like to go into the gunge. Whoever is most wanted in the goo later, will be spun around again. Now, you’re both sort of teachers, Heather you in a school, Carly you teach swimming at a pool – so we thought we would get your classes involved, and as usual with this being NGYOB there’s a messy element to all this.”

Katie explained that the adult who the audience wanted to see in the goo, would be subjected to three students of their respective class chucking slimy green sponges at them as they were being spun around for a further 20 seconds. Each direct hit with a sponge would lower the other teams score by 5 points, thus giving a chance for their teacher to be leading in the points by the end of the game, or increasing the lead as it already was – depending on which teams adult ended up being span again.

“And, there’s maybe another nasty surprise waiting depending on how well those kids do, but first of all let’s get you on those wheels!”

It quickly sped up as both women walked to the wheels and where strapped in place. They didn’t wear headgear or pads or anything, but the wheels were set up on soft flooring. But in any case, the whole thing and been tested a few times and made safe so that no one would fall off the wheels, which wouldn’t be going too fast as an extra safety measure anyway. Katie stood facing them both and smiled.

“All comfy? Alright then, Ms Ford!”

Heather strapped to her wheel spread eagled, nodded and raised an eyebrow.

“Ms Thistleton.”

“You’re about to be spun round, and if you can, through your wailing please tell us all why you shouldn’t go into the gunge!”

“I won’t wail. Right…”

Slowly her wheel began to turn around, and with surprisingly little time, it was already spinning around at a quick pace. Not too rapidly but enough to make it difficult for the first couple of seconds to actually say anything at all, much to some laughter from the cheering as she gasped a couple of times whilst it sped up.

“OK. I do not deserve to go into …. In that goooooo….because it’s not the worst crime in the world …. OHH, THAT I take my SHOESOFFINCLASS …. It’s my – my classroom so I – I can …. Do what I WANTANDITREALLYISN’T .. SHOULDN’T be a crime because well …. Because my feet ARENOTTOOBADORANYTHING… And….”

A klaxon rang out and Katie continued to laugh in stitches as the wheel that had a flustered Heather on began to slow down. Katie wiped her eyes a little bit and then folded her arms, enjoying the teacher putting on a poor effort and being put out by it all..

“Ohhh. That was hilarious. Oh man, you alright teach?”

“… Yes. I’m – I’m ok thanks. A bit weird though…”

“It a bit strange I’m guessing yeah, to be spun like that. You think you did well?”

“Of course. I think … I th – think that I put my case across well. Are you ok, you seem out of – of breath yourself. Not capable of laughter due to being a right devil or something?”

The audience reacted with some giggles and an ‘OooooOOOHHhhh!” at the teachers response. She was smiling, and seemed to be quipping back due to the situation she was in, out of breath and breathing heavy with adrenaline more than likely. Katie, whose arms were still folded, simply stared and pulled a smirk.

“I swear adults on my last couple of shows have been more cocky than usual. Still, the ones deposited into the gunge always stayed quiet after. RIGHT then, Carly your turn now lovely. 20 seconds, why should you not go in for your own swimming lesson later on?”

“Yeap…”

Carly’s wheel began to spin much like Heathers did and the swimming teacher, just like the school teacher was quiet for a few seconds or so. However through gritted teeth and a smile, she got her reasons out, sounding a bit more fluent and confident than her counterpart on the spinning nightmare.

“…So I do not deserve a gunging…I am really not too bad and the whole things been made up mostly….Er – yes I sometimes am lazy with it, and relaxed but do the kids get a good lesson? Always! Ohh… … And besides I’m not strict or cruel and as for pushing them in or whatever….or keeping them in … it’s a bit of fun, how many kids get -”

A klaxon blared out and Carly was also stopped from talking. Her wheel slowed down and despite the confidence of her speech, she did have her eyes closed when the wheel was slowing down. Not tight, but clearly she was trying to keep composed. She opened them gave a lovely huge smile to Katie.

“You did alright there I think!”

“Naturally. It wasn’t too bad.”

“Oh no huh, we will check later on the slow mo but you scrunching your face up the whole way was hilarious Carly, don’t try faking it with me. Still, I’ll give you both something to scrunch your faces up about now!”

Katie turned from the two ladies on the wheels and spread her hands out to the kids in the audience.

“I will now ask all of you, who do you want to see in the goo! Now the adult who has the loudest noise made for them, will then automatically start to spin behind me. That’s the cue for the three kids of that ladies class to come up, reach into this bucket … here we go, ew… and start throwing! You’ll get 20 seconds, each direct hit knocks 5 points off the other teams, and if you get 5 consecutive hits the game ends and…”

Katie looks to the noses that hadn’t been mentioned up above the wheels over each woman.

“Well, let’s just say that these old sponges are slimy, yet dusty so could cause a quick sneeze! Right! So, all cheer if you want to see Ms Heather Ford, the teacher with a cheesy bad habit – cheesy in more than one sense – sail into that gunge later on!”

Cheering ensued, Heathers class of course making sure it was loud. But it didn’t seem, too noisy. Sure, her class were going mad and a few neutral members of the audience, kids not in either class were creating a bit of racket but it wasn’t completely studio busting.

“Hmm, OK, OK. Now all those who would like to see Carly, the slave driving and – no matter what she says – mean swimming coach get her very own gunky swimming lesson, cheer loudly now!”

This time, the roof was raised. Carly’s class made tonnes of noise, naturally, but a lot of the kids who were here as audience members seemed to have taken a bit of dislike to the swimmers ways and speech! It was loud, and a few jeers thrown in too. It was maybe the confidence that let Carly down, or perhaps her cheek? But either way, her wheel suddenly began to spin slowly around and so she grimaced, pulling a shocked look with her eyes wide and mouth quivering.

“Lucy, Matthew, Holly – come here quick!”

Three young kids, two of Samantha’s age and one just a little bit younger got up and ran forward, faces alit. They were also part of Carly’s swimming class of course, and had been chosen as the three kids to pelt their coach with sponges. Katie pointed at the bucket, told them they had 20 seconds, and stepped out of the way.

“Good luck guys, remember this can change the show so go, go, go!”

And they did, two of the kids hitting the wheel big bad Carly was spinning around on. The sponges were in a bucket full of snotty green slime, and so the sponges made a right splat as they hit the wheel. The first two missed Carly, but she did get spattered with a bit of slime, but the third splatted one of her legs, coating her upper thigh in green slime. The next one her her shoulder and another, pelted her chest.

“OHHH…Hmmmphhh…No…AGH! … No, stop, no! … Ohhh-nnnnnnnngh!”

She gritted her teeth again as the wheel spun round, and she got pelted with the snotty sponges. Her eyes were closed, and fists bunched up through the straps. She was feeling the spin, and now being pelted by her students was a little bit humiliating. Trying to keep her composure was difficult and frustrating. Another hit her leg now, her left knee being slimed, with it dribbling down her leg. The two older kids had got most of the hits, but the young girl only got a couple on the wheel. However, about 15 seconds in, and with a few consecutive hits now, the young girl happily bit her lip to focus and launched her sponge through the air at this swimming coach who every day pushed them, without barely doing anything herself…

“Ohhh – UGHHHHHH! PPPPFFFFFFFFF! PPPBBBFFF! OHHHHHH! Oh, UGH!”

Carly’s focused, exasperated face was pelted bang on with a slimy sponge! Straight away, thick green caked her face and eyes, and splattered her mouth. In fact a little bit of it went in her mouth, causing her to blow from her lips. The sponge squelched as it fell away right away, leaving the woman with half green features, eyes closed tight and mouth with green hanging out, in a comical disgusted and shocked expression! She opened one eye for a moment as she as her wheel suddenly slowed down. It didn’t stop fully, but went at a steady pace enough for everyone to take in and laugh at her expression, looking a bit more green now on her wheel. She admittedly found funny herself, but for the joy of her class, kept her horrified expression as well as acting grossed out and –

AHHHHHHHHHHCHOOO – CHOOO – CHOOOO!

Slowly spinning on her wheel, Carly was on the receiving end of the nose at the top in the blink of an eye. Three times, the nose shot out very thick green sludge, right over the swimming teacher. Because she was still spinning, she got it in different places. The first, her arm and shoulder. Then, her left leg was coated in the green gunk shot out from above. It wasn’t huge amounts, just three very quick half bucket fulls spat down at her. The final one though caused the cheering from the audience to hit the roof, as she was spun slowly, she directly ended up under the last lot. Her head just below the nose, it was quickly splatted in thick green. It completely covered the top of her head, plastering plenty of her hair and fully caking the top of her face. Her forehead, eyes and nose all lost in thick green sludge, whilst her mouth hung open twitching a little bit in shock. Her hands where splayed at their straps and she was helpless, spread eagled on the wheel as it stopped with a jolt, shaking side to side then still. And on it, was Carly, not able to do anything but simply stick there as the audience cheered . Katie clapped her hands, and then bit her lip with enthusiasm whilst nodding. She walked up and in front of the wheel and smiled.

“Wow. That, has got to be one of my favourite moments for a while. Just the way you were spinning slowly and got it three full times, plastered! Ha, eh Carly? Funny huh?”

Putting her hands on her hips, the host bent inward a little bit to the snotted coach. Of course she got no response, just some light gasping and breathing from a green looking Carly. The green wasn’t slime but more like very thick cream or something. It was like she’d been pied rather than sneezed on! Katie shrugged and looked at Heather. The school teacher was in hysterics and smiled at Katie, happy to avoid all of that but happy to see someone else get it, and couldn’t help herself.

“That was amazing. Honestly, that looked so funny to watch. Glad it wasn’t me this time either, and she looks a right state if I must say! Can you do it again!?”

Katie was frozen, a smile on her face and crazed eyes, staring at Heather. She then looked at the camera.

“Wow, OK Heather. You guys are meant to be hating this! Alright, well done you three, well done, you look like you had fun there. I nearly lost track but you got looking at it….6 shots on target – 30 points knocked off of Jemma’s score. So, all in all that means the scores now sit at 40 points for the yellows, 60 for the blues!”

Cheering rose up and the three kids high fived each other and sat back down. Heather was also grinning and nodding on her wheel. Carly though, had now pursed her lips, and shook her head a bit. The green lumps on her face were sliding down slowly, but everyone could just make out a pleading frown, whilst she was stuck on her wheel. Looking green, and covered in yucky looking bits of goo. It finally fell from her face, and she opened her mouth again to sigh, making out that she wasn’t happy with the scores and her sudden lead! She guessed that she looked hilarious though, and did find it embarrassing yet funny at the same time, wondering what else was in store for her and Heather.

Round 3: Wishy Washy!

The camera swung around the audience, quickly showed the Gunk Dunk in the back and then finally came to a stop on Katie and the two kids. Both Jemma and Samantha looked as confident as they had earlier on, and Katie was as ever grinning like a cheshire cat.

“Right then! Our final game before the Gunk Dunk. And this one is quite a simple one as well, but no less fun. We have been in the CBBC laundry house and found a lot of items of clothing that haven’t been washed in weeks, so due to a few complications – and me not reading certain terms and conditions – I’ve been tasked with getting them all washed. So why not turn it into game? Hello guys!”

Katie turned from the camera and looked behind her, giving a wave. In two large tin buckets sat Heather and Carly, wearing what looked to be washing up aprons complete with a maid’s hat and washing up gloves on their hands. Both women gave a wave back to Katie, with Heather looking like she could strangle the host and Carly pulling another sorry for herself look across her features. The large tin buckets they sat in had wheels and seemed to be attached to a sort of miniature track, which eventually joined up in the middle further away. This small single track then ran under a frame that held two large buckets and two large brushes that looked like the ones that could be found at car washes. At the sides of this set up, were tables of clothes. T-shirts, socks, trousers, even a couple of shoes all lined up and running the length of the set.

“This is quite simple like I said, both Jemma and Samantha here need to run up and down their tables, and chuck the old clothes into the buckets that their adult is sitting in. For each successful piece of clothing they chuck in, their adults bucket will move along the track. Now the adults are able of course to pick up the clothes and throw them back out, and so that piece of clothing won’t count. At the end of the game though, the tin bucket which is furthest along the track will continue and go right to our very own NGYOB style washing machine – a couple of buckets and a couple of scrubbers scrubber! Not perfect for cleaning clothes but it means one of these two will have their act cleaned up, and right before the Gunk Dunk too!”

A camera looking through the frame zoomed in on the adults in the distance, who were eyeing up the contraption at the end of the track. It didn’t look as intense as the methods so far, but it still was something they both wanted to avoid. Katie rubbed her hands together.

“10 points for each item of clothing still left in the buckets at the end! Right, everyone ready? 1, 2, 3, chuck!”

Katie leapt away, dodging a sock that was already pelted by Jemma, as the game got underway. Both kids were already throwing clothes in toward the center of the set, aiming for the buckets with their adult in. Of course, the kids were half aiming to pelt their adults with some of the clothes too. Jemma managed to throw a sock which bounced off of Heather, who gasped as it hit her, and Carly had already had to take a t-shirt off of her head. So far though neither of the kids were able to get an item in the bucket. Cheering around the audience continued in rhythm, and must have spurred them both on as Jemma finally managed to throw a shoe which bounced into the bucket, and Heather felt her bucket move forward. No sooner had she picked up the shoe to toss it out, when a sock flew in after it, and a t-shirt. On the other side, Carly had only just moved herself, a couple of clothes landing in her bucket. She bent down and picked them up with her gloves, pulling a faux expression of disgust as she did, much to the joy of her swimming students. Both kids were now more on target with their throwing, clothes flying everywhere and both ladies being moved forward with their buckets.

At the halfway mark, both ladies were still more or less even, as Carly now moved along her track to match where heather was up to as well. A sock landed in Heathers bucket again, which jolted her forward. Some clothes were still in the bottom of the bucket; Jemma had been doing well, but as the young girl got tired, more were starting to miss again. Over in Carly’s bucket, she also was trying to keep the clothes out. A shoe landed at her feet and her bucket rumbled along now pulling ahead of Heathers. Samantha, unlike Jemma was still on target, and Carly was sent a bit further along the track. Heather finally moved forward again too, but as the countdown to the end of the game began, it was clear that Carly was probably going to stay ahead of Heather.

“…3, 2, 1!”

The claxon blared out, confirming Carly’s fate. She was slightly ahead of Heather still and covered her face for a moment at the realisation as the cheers rang out, and her bucket moved forward. It rumbled along with some pace, meeting the join in the track and continuing along the single track. It slowed and stopped under the frame as she bunched up her fists, looking into the camera right in front of her. Dread in her eyes, and mouth slightly quivering, she looked from side to side as bell now rang out. A moment later and she squealed as freezing water was dumped on her from one of the buckets! Her hair was waterlogged, and it dripped down under her apron, soaking her chest. It ran quickly, dampening her shorts and even her shoes as she sat in the tin bucket. The hat she’d been wearing was hanging off the side of her head due to the force of the dump, and completely came off a moment later as soap foam and a tiny bit more water fell onto her. Gasping again now, the foam built up on her head and slithered down her features, also dripping down her apron, sure to make her feel even more soggy. And then, a second later as she patted her hair and wiped her face with deep breaths, the car wash brushes started up at either side, batting and grazing her. At this, she held her hands still in front of her face, shut her eyes and mouth tight. This was due in part more to do with the predicament and the fact she knew all eyes were greedily watching. Another dumping of water splashed over her, soaking her wet through yet again, as she opened her mouth in shock from the coldness. Finally, the tin bucket rumbled out from under the frame to display a very wet swimming teacher, freezing cold and looking a sight in her bucket, apron and washing up gloves.

“Wooooo! Coming, coming…cor blimey, well and truly cleaned up there eh?”

The audience laughed and cheered as Carly shook off a little bit. She lifted up her apron, flashing her bare legs underneath as she tried to wring it out somewhat. She felt her toes damp and soggy inside her shoes, and the back of her neck stung from the ends of wet through hair.

“Hahaa, right. You stay there, I’ll just make my way to Heather here. Nice and dry. I bet you’re hoping it stays that way but who knows.”

“I think I will.”

“Well, we shall see. OK, how many items have we got in here…2, 3….right, well done Jemma! 5, meaning 50 points!”

Jemma clapped and nodded, but knew that with her not winning the game, Samantha would have a slight head start in the finale for dunking Carly. But she was still happy nonetheless as a couple of socks and shorts had definitely whacked Ms Ford in her face! That alone was a lot of fun. Katie made her way toward soggy Carly and counted up there too.

“Oh, it was close! 6 items in this bucket, all soggy and wet through, but 60 points nonetheless! Oh, eurghh, HEATHER catch!”

Katie flung a soggy t-shirt at Heather, which splatted her face with a gasp, and made her wobble in the tin as the audience broke out into laughter and a few cheers. It hung to her face and she pulled it off, pulling a cringe and chucking the wet garment on the floor. She scowled at the crowd all around, laughing at her and continued to listen to Katie.

“HA! So much for staying nice and dry! Right, so what are those final scores today?”

Katie held up her hands as a scoreboard came on, featuring both kids happy smiling next to their scores.

“Jemma on the yellows has 90 points, but going toward the finale and in the lead is Samantha for the blues, with 120 points!”

Both kids cheered in their boxes as the title card swiped across the screen with the NGYOB logo.

1 Hour Later…

Down swung the camera from above the large audience, the Gunk Dunk sitting in the back as ominous as ever. The audience stood around Kate, Jemma and Samantha. Everything was now cleared away and after a short break, everyone had returned for the start of the finale. A fun show, as always but now the real business was going to begin.

“So what a day it’s been. Chaos in places, messy in others. We’ve had giant eggs spilling on people, noses sneezing on people…and we also cleaned someone up with water and soap? I mean for NGYOB that is a bit strange. We don’t usually offer those services when it comes to cleaning. But eh, tell you what, it’s back to good old mess. And very soon one unfortunate lady will find herself sailing down into a big tank of gunk. Girls, ready for this?”

Katie put her arms around the kids who both nodded happily.

“Ms Ford, Carly, please come and see me!”

Heather walked in from the side, and Carly from the other. Both ladies had gotten a rest, and a touch up on makeup and their hair and whatnot after the show so far. No trace of any mess, and both looking beautiful, TV ready yet awkward as they knew that soon it would be about to change for one of them. Heather swished her hair behind her ears as Katie spoke to her.

“Heather, had fun so far today?”

“Oh yeah sure.”

“Ooh, sassy. Are you ready for the gunge, ready to possibly receive penance for your bad habits?”

Heather folded her arms and rolled her eyes.

“I don’t have any. I just like my bare feet to breathe.”

“Oh well they will get their chance in a moment. And what about you Carly my dear, ready for a swimming lesson of the gungey kind?”

Carly held her hands on her hips and then pulled a worried face, and shook her head. She too tucked her hair behind her ears, and then seemed to reassure herself.

“No. I won’t be. I don’t want to go anywhere NEAR that gunge.”

Katie shrugged and looked at the camera again, patting the kids shoulders and grinning.

“Well, either way, you’re both going to be in with a chance of a comeuppance. Time now for you both to do away with your shoes. Right now, get them off. Oh surprise surprise, Ms Ford is half done with that already!”

“Whatever Katie, my feet are beautif -”

“I’ve heard they’re the opposite, and getting them out in school is horrid. And you know what else is? My gunge. Both of you turn, and march back there!”

Booing and jeering ensued as the two women walked through the opening gap in the crowd, and toward the Gunk Dunk. Heather was frowning, almost looking ironically like a naughty school girl who had been sent to detention. She folded her arms and strutted quickly across the cold floor. Carly was to feeling a bit mortified by the sudden cheering and booing on all sides around her, but as she spotted some of her students she pulled a face or two and stuck her tongue out, trying to reassure them that she wouldn’t end up in her own personalised sort of pool.

“Right girls, follow on!”

And the two kids turned, now walking through with praise from the crowd as Katie grinned to the camera, which began swinging out. She held up her arms and spoke to the rising camera.

“So! Who will get their own back today! Will Jemma make Ms Ford pay the price of yucky habits with something even more yucky? Or will Samantha finally be free of slave-driver swimming coach Carly, by sending her for a sloppy swim in front of her class? The only way we will find out, is by going to THE GUNK DUNK!!!!! YES!

– THE GUNK DUNK –

Away came the famous title card, and the camera was rushing up behind lots of crowded children. All of them were cheering, and parted to move out of the way of the camera. It rushed up to the wall of the see through tank, layer upon layer of green and purple stacked up on top of one and other neatly. It rose higher, up the wall and finally offered a close up look of the tank, with the two chairs and two women sat atop them. Underneath them, spread across the tank was the contents. The gunge lay in the tank, olive green and tyrian purple looked ripe and thick, a truly dank look for the tank. And making it look even more uninviting was the thick cream dotted all over it, coloured right after the gunge itself and making it look chunky. It was as though the gunge itself had curdled and formed huge lumps. As well as this dotted around it in white, where the little drawings of socks and swimming shorts, to prove that this gunge was only ever going to be used today for the two women now inches above it. It cut now to another camera that panned across it, showing fully the uneven, lumpy surface that was sat upon the gooey slime underneath. It brushed over those curious, delightfully gross words:

CREAMY AND STEAMY

It then reached the far side of the tank toward the ramps and slowly panned up. Two sets of legs were hunched over the tiny seats, belonging to Heather and Carly. Beautiful, toned and looking large on the small seats. It looked uncomfortable up there, and that was before even thinking of the morass that was laid in waiting just underneath them. It continued up to show Katie arriving at her glass podium, and the two kids arriving to their platforms that were suspended a little bit above the vat. As a bit of fun, Katie kicked a bit of the thick purple green cream that had crept up the side next to her podium, for decoration, and it plopped thickly into the tank below. It rippled ever so slightly and the cream itself squelched quietly as it was absorbed into the mire.

“Oh, how…mushy. Here we are above my gunge, and today it really is horrible. Look at that stuff, thick gunge as always, weird and gross looking cream, cute little images atop…it really is a sight. And it looks chilly in there ladies, very chilly. I don’t think you’re going to like this mwuaahaha! Oh but I know we will, oh yes! Hehehe!”

Katie leaned over her podium to look down to the gunge and then back up at the women either side of her. Heather was sitting with her arms placed in her lap, dark ginger hair tucked behind her ears. She had her delicate looking legs slightly apart, with her toes curled around the footrest gently, glossy red polish on her toenails. The chair was tiny, but yet she looked lovely as she was perched on it, her athletic shape on full display for everyone now. She was peering down at the muck, not looking too much of a fan of it. Her eyes winced as the lump of cream went into the goo, and she leaned back, her eyes narrowing a little bit at the thought of it. Even then though, she was nervous yet finding it an experience in itself. The sight of it and smell of it though wasn’t an experience she wanted to find out about, and she was well aware of eyes watching her all around – including her class who had long waited for this moment. They didn’t seem to mind about her being barefoot now, naturally! But the show had brought out her competitive side, and she looked over to Carly who she hoped would be taking the dip, thinking that it would be great from this angle to see the proud swimming teacher being catapulted into the muck.

“We have both school teacher Ms Heather, and proud swimming teacher Carly. Both of them have been through a lot today but this is the one thing they have both been dreading, The Gunk Dunk!”

Carly was sat calmly on her seat with her long, stunning legs on full display to the crowd – something which had made her for a little bit feel red, she didn’t like them being on display after all. They were pressed neatly together, right down to her feet. Her toes hung off of the foot rest, pointing down at an angle, big toes joined together and all painted with a glittery pink coat of polish. However every few moments her toes twitched slightly, and feet shuffled on the rest, showing that she was a little bit nervous at least. Like Heather, the chair she was on was designed to be uncomfy and small. Her upper thighs and shapely rear hung off it, showing her curvy yet athletic figure. Her face was straining however, not much but just enough to notice. She did not like being sat on this seat above the gunge, as it truly did look horrible and she couldn’t help but show how she was embarrassed now. She gave off the sense of someone proud and mighty who was being shown up, although admittedly she did sort of like the attention on her in many ways.

“Now, Heather, Ms Ford, teach. You have got a very rude and, let’s be honest nasty habit of getting your bare feet out in class and using them to pick things up off the floor and whatnot. Not only that but they stink. Like honestly we may be above the Gunk Dunk but even so, your feet are smelly – and your poor class has to look at them and sometimes are near them!”

At this sudden taunting, which seemed to have been held back for most of the show, Heather opened her mouth in embarrassment and frowned. She turned toward a few jeers from the audience and went a shade of pink. On her footrest, her feet shuffled with awkwardness that Katie has brought this up.

“Well, they’re out now for a bit of a breath but, well very soon they could be given a right old washing in this gunge down here. I think that’s rather fitting, do you?”

Heather looked to Katie and rolled her eyes.

“First things first, Katie, my feet are not smelly at all. They are perfectly – PERFECTLY -”

Some of her class started to jeer and cry out that this was lies, but Heather managed to raise her voice over them.

“…Perfectly fine thank you. I can’t say the same about that stuff down there, but let me just say, that I am not going to the top. I am not going to listen to all of the kids complaints. I’m staying right here. Because that stuff down there is…atrocious. So no thank you.”

Katie clicked her tongue and then laughed.

“Spoken like a true teacher. My word. Listen, Ms Ford, if young Jemma there does well then you won’t be staying there let me tell you. And you will get quite a fitting makeover, and those feet will finally get what’s coming to them – a good old wash!”

Heather flexed her toes and then turned to her young student, scowling and pointing at her, as though threatening her not to do well at all. She looked back down toward the gunge and breathed out through her nose, shaking her head yet again as the kids happily looked up. Katie meanwhile, had now turned to Carly.

“And as, for, you. Carly, now you have to admit, as well as being a slave-driver you are a tinsy bit vain aren’t you?”

“Nope…”

“I mean you teach swimming, and yet you never go in the pool yourself because it will, ruin your perfect hair or chip your nails or whatever. HA!”

“No. This isn’t true, nope.”

Carly was staring up toward Katie and began to shake her head as the accusations rolled off, her feet tapping on the footrest one after the other. She then rubbed the top of her legs and brought her hands to rest again at the side of her large thighs.

“Ohh yes it is, no matter how much you deny it. And as for the slave driving, never letting the kids have a break properly…”

“They are turning into wonderful swimmers.”

Katie just leaned forward as some chuckles came from the audience and she grinned maniacally.

“Well now. I wonder how wonderful of a swimmer you are, Carly. And we will see if your still trying to act proud and proper if you end up down in this. Trust me girl, this ain’t no pool you ever taught for! It’s cold in there! It’s smelly down there, woman!”

Carly let a nervous smile break across her mouth and raised her eyebrows as she opened her mouth to answer the host.

“There is no way, no way at all, that I am going in there. I’m not going down into that at all Katie.”

Katie leaned back and narrowed her eyes, smiling evilly again as the coach stood her ground.

“Oh no…well, this may shock you then. You see Samantha there has done brilliant today. And because of this Carly, you have to go up toward that very first notch. So, madame, up you go!”

Some ‘Ooooohs!’  ensued from the crowd in front of the tank as Carly’s chair rumbled to life. It slowly rose upward and away from the gunge. A camera in between the swimmers legs showed the gunge below start to get smaller as the chair rose. All the while, Carly frowned and hunched up whilst shaking her head more. She came to a stop, flexing her toes and pointing them all back down, digging her fingers into her upper thighs gently for a moment before releasing them. She took a moment then looked to Katie with a tense expression. The host stick her tongue out as she turned back to the camera in a devilish way.

“Oh I do not think she liked that one bit. OK, now if you’re not aware of what happens now, I will be asking a series of questions to both Jemma and Samantha over here. For each question that our contestants get right, what will be doing with our adults?”

As usual the audience answered with their response of cranking them up, famous words that all of the kids shouted loudly.

“Correct, we will crank up the wicked women. It’s a long way up, but the first child who managed to get those questions all right and send their adult to the 4 and final notch, will get to send them down into this chunky yucky broth. So, will heather and her smelly feet get a smelly comeuppance, or will Carly finally be heading for a swim in some slimy swill? Let’s find out, fingers on buzzers guys…”

Both adults looked away from Katie at her little dig, as the kids stood on their platforms, getting ready to slap their buzzers as quick as they could.

“First one, how many rings does Jupiter have?”

RIIIINNNNNG!

A moments silence for all, as Katie asked the question, both kids looking perplexed for a seconds or so. And then, the yellow platform and podium lit up as Jemma forced her button down. She looked unsure but answered timidly nonetheless.

“Um, it doesn’t have any, none?”

“Correct! Well done, bit of a trick question there to keep you all on your toes. Oh, talking of toes, up go your ‘orrible ones and you Heather!”

“CRANK HER UP!”

The teacher tutted and rolled her eyes, turning away and to her young student as she was carried upward on the ramp. She then sighed loudly looking down at the first notch as her chair came rolling to a stop. She pointed her heels inward and hung her toes off of the footrest, then shuffled her knees too as she looked to Katie.

“Alright, even stevens now, anything could happen here. Anything! OK, raptor, tyrannosaurus and brachiosaurus are all types of what – BUZZZZZZ! – Oh, yes!”

No hesitation this time, as the blue side lit up and buzzed, and Katie turned to Samantha who confidently answered quickly now.

“Dinosaurs.”

“Yeap, they are. What do we do with Carly everyone!”

“CRANK HER UP!”

And up went the swimming coach, on her small chair. She shook her head again, looking down and then around at the audience. She muttered under her breath, as though telling herself this wasn’t happening. As she stopped, she stretched her arms out, hands still on her knees, in front of her. She splayed her fingers off of them and sighed, looking slightly awkward suddenly.

“Not going anywhere, huh?”

Carly cocked her head and raised her eyebrows.

“No Katie.”

“Such denial. OK, 2 to 1 now. Here we go, listen up. At the top of the world sits the Arctic. But what sits at the bottom of the world, that is covered in ice and snow?”

Another moment’s silence…and then the blue side lit up once more.

BUZZZ!

“Yes, Samantha.”

“Is it the Antarctic?”

Carly rubbed her eyes with one hand and sighed again as she knew the answer was correct. Over on her own seat, Heather on the first notch let out a stifled giggle. She was now looking more safe, and was happily watching the swimming coach go through the motions currently. She even joined in this time with the kids once Katie had spoken.

“It is indeed, yes, up you go again Carly!”

“CRANK HER UP!”

Carly began to tap her knees gently together as she was lifted up again, and placed her hands on the side of the seat where she could. She was getting jittery now and as she rumbled to a stop she looked up to the studio lights, wanting to avoid any eye contact for a moment or two now. She breathed heavily and shook her head once as Katie spoke.

“Up she goes, up she goes again! Haha! Oh for a woman who said she wasn’t going in, she doesn’t look as confident now. Just one notch away and she will be going into this muck. You alright up there Carly?”

“Yeap. I’m OK. This is far as I’m going I think. Thanks.”

“Haha! We shall see, oh yes. Right then, next up. Here we are….history question. What is the name of the playwright who wrote Macbeth?”

A few moments went by, as the kids wondered. At the age they were, they may not know it but –

RINNNNNG!

“Jemma?”

“Uhhm…was it, William Shakespeare?”

Katie looked to Heather on the first notch and smiled.

“Heather, being a teacher, was it him?”

Heather looked to her young student and closed her eyes for a moment in exasperation. She nodded looked at her young student.

“It was.”

“Of course it was, good old Bill. What do we do with her?”

“CRANK HER UP!”

Heathers chair began to rise upward as she folded her arms on it. She placed one foot over the other and then suddenly began to giggle to herself. As she came to a stop, Katie watched her curiously and also laughed. The teacher then covered half of her face and looked at Katie as the host questioned it.

“You taught her that didn’t you?”

“Yes. I did, yeah.”

“Ohhhh the irony. You may have taught her something which may end up helping teaching you a lesson very soon.”

Heather slapped her hands back onto her knees and calmed herself again, but still had a cheeky smile on her face at this irony as Katie continued on.

“In Harry Potter, what is the real name of the person known as, ‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’?”

A moment’s hesitation. As always. Both of the kids wondered for a moment, perhaps they’d forgotten or it was nerves, and then movement suddenly –

BUZZZZ!

“OH, Samantha?”

The young girl bit her lip as she answered.

“Uhhm, Voldemort…”

Carly knew this, and she closed her eyes, an awkward smile coming across her face. Some of the audience already giggled as they were Harry Potter fans themselves. She began twitching her head as Katie slapped the cards down.

“It IS Voldemort. Fancy that eh? What, do we do, with our Carly up there?”

Carly began muttering as Katie said this. Her head constantly shaking now as she repeatedly said, “No!”, quietly. Of course Samantha heard this and happily smiled watching her swimming coach who had began to tap the sides of her thighs, and flexing her toes, getting jittery now it was said and done.

“CRANK HER UP!”

“Yeap! UP YOU GO CARLYYYYY!”

Katie happily held her hand up and laughed as Carly the coach’s chair rumbled to life one last time and lifted her upward. She continued to pat her knees as it sloped upward, all of the kids in the audience giggling at the woman still trying to deny that this was happening to her. Heather smiled and joined in too, starting to bounce her head, happy she’d avoided the awful stuff down below her. She was also happy to see someone such as Carly being the loser, and being sent up to the top. Up above and Carly was just coming to the final notch, and when it stopped sirens and horns blared out, as well as lights all around, signalling the end of the game. The swimming teacher had her mouth half open, still somehow refusing to believe it, and as the sounds and lights started up, she shut her eyes and slowly brought her trembling hands to her face. Her jittering toes curled up, and then pointed inward as she pressed her smooth legs back against each other again. Samantha, and her friends were laughing the loudest at seeing her finally like this, about to be knocked from grace.

“Ahh we all know what that sound means, and I definitely know that this woman up here knows what it means as well. Can I just say, the fact you flat out said it wasn’t going to happen, makes it all the more sweeter. Carly, you -”

“No. No, no, no, Samantha!”

“Oh no, don’t do this, typical loser behaviour -”

“Samantha look, I am truly, sorry. Please, I won’t-”

“You won’t do anything, you will sit there madame for a few moments and contemplate your long overdue nosedive!”

“No, look Samantha -”

Katie laughed and turned away from Carly and shrugged.

“You know what she can carry on all she likes, but listen her, Heather. Heather you must be relieved. You’re not going anywhere closer to the gunge today, annoyingly, but have you had fun, hm?”

Heather was smiling happily, and nodded to Katie as she placed her hands in her lap. She brushed the sides of her legs and crossed them at the ankles, looking smug of herself as she looked past Katie to Carly.

“I have. And you know I am really glad for not going into the gunge. It just looks, terrible. And really isn’t the sort of place for me.”

“Well I know a few disagree, me too, I still think it is nasty that you use your bare feet for picking up the kids pens and whatnot off the floor, especially due to how they pong.”

Heather stared daggers for a moment and stamped one of her feet on the footrest.

“That, is not true.”

“Oh yes it is. But look hey, you’re not going to be going in that gunge today, so do not worry about it. I’m glad you have had a nice time, and you Jemma, have you enjoyed it?”

“Yeah, I have…”

Jemma looked disheartened, as any kid would, but she nodded all the same as Katie told her to get in touch if Heather decided to start using her feet for other tasks in future, even if she just once got them out again, she asked Jemma to bring her right back to the studio. And then Katie, dramatically and slowly turned around and looked up. Up above, Carly had removed her hands from her face, and was looking worryingly down to Katie.

“But as for Carly. Oh yes. She knows what is about to happen. You know exactly where you are heading for in just a moment’s time, don’t you?”

“No.”

“STILL denying it, my lord. Just take a long, look at the ramp below you. And down toward that gunge, and those smiling faces beyond it. Oh yes! The whole class you apparently instruct are here today to see this!”

Carly’s lip began to tremble and she covered her face again, shaking her head once more and bouncing her knees together again. For a confident woman, she sure was now looking very uneasy. Samantha just couldn’t help but giggle.

“Ahh yes. You hate the fact the water may ruin your looks and hair and nails and everything else. You’re about to wish you did have a pool near you, one with water because believe me Carly this dank rank stuff is far from it! HA!”

Katie slapped her hand down on her podium as Carly whimpered up above and look to Samantha at the same time as Katie.

“Samantha, take a long good look at this woman up here. Carly, your swimming coach, who said she doesn’t deserve any of this and that said was no way absolutely going into this stuff down here. You got her onto this show, and got her all the way up to the top up there. Poised and ready to teach her a swimming lesson she is never going to forget.”

Carly was shuffling again now, but had weirdly calmed. She pressed her knees together, and her feet and pointed her toes down, hanging off of the seat. She let her shoulders relax, and placed her hands onto the top of her thighs. But despite this, she still looked down toward Samantha and pleadingly, quietly spoke.

“Samantha, please think about this. I promise not to work you too hard, and not be lazy with you or everyone else again please, please do not do this…”

Katie smiled and let her say these few words, as she nodded at Samantha and then chuckled to go in for the kill.

“Samantha, Carly up here is such a slave-driver. She sits and lounges at the pool all day whilst you and your friends have to constantly swim. If you’re not doing good, she pushes you back into the pool even with her bare toes because she thinks she’s the bee’s knees. Well, you’ve certainly turned the tables. She thinks pool water will ruin her hair, and her nails? PFFFF. Then she has no idea what she’s in for with this stuff before her.”

Katie leaned forward as Carly braced, and Samantha grinned.

“Samantha, she lazies around when instructing whilst you and your friends swim nonstop all day long, time to finally teach Carly a lesson in swimming that’s gonna make her end up with quite a pong! PULL. THAT. LEVER -”

“No, please  -”

“AND GET YOUR OWN BACK!”

Ripping back the lever with full force and gritting her teeth in victory, Samantha looked around and up to the coach who had been a torment for so long, about to receive a deserved dunking down below in what felt like real life slow motion to her. All around Carly, lights flared and sparks erupted, and her chair rumbled back to life. It shot forward with some force, causing her to gasp loudly as she shot down the ramp. She buckled in it momentarily leaning ever so slightly forward, grimacing downward at the tank below her that was fast approaching. Up above, tiny spigots where shooting down thin blue gunge onto her, which was spattering her hair and bare legs, causing it to dribble down. At this, she pulled an even more comical expression, mouth curled up and eyes practically scrunching up as much as they could be without closing. As she fell further toward the bottom, she leaned forward again and positioned her legs quickly. Toes still pointing doward neatly toward the gunge, she lifted her feet off of the footrest by a few inches, hanging them up a little bit above it. She straightened her back, head and closed her eyes fully now, but without scrunching them up. Although the cheering was loud, Samantha and a couple of others still made out a defeated moan from the coach.

“HHHHnnnghhhhhhh-OOOOhhhhhhhh-NNNNooooooooooo…”

And with that, she began to lean forward, and clasped her hands together as though she was doing a stereotypical dive. Her students cheered even louder at this, the fact she was finally accepting – begrudgingly – that this was finally her turn for a swimming lesson from hell. She got to the final bit of the ramp and the heavens above dropped down some very fitting blue gunge on top of the embarrassed woman, gooey and wet looking, it sploshed out across her shoulders, her beautiful brown her and over her smooth, tanned legs that were elegantly positioned. And then the chair below her gave way, as she continued getting a downpour of blue from above, she slid off of the seat, hands and legs still in position. Her face was now a picture; eyes firmly shut tight, and mouth looking as though it was holding breath, with her cheeks only ever slightly puffed out. But her brow confirmed her expression, mortifyingly bracing to receive her just desserts in a manner and posture that was sweetly fitting for all those she’d driven crazy. She curled her legs up to her backside whilst at the angle, still keeping her toes pointed downward, bowed her head forward by a few inches and allowed herself roll forward to fully point down toward the gunge with her hands still keeping their divers position. And this is what broke the greeny purple surface first, her hands, quickly followed by her resigned and disgusted face, right into some of the gunge coloured cream. Her whole top half, whilst still being splattered from above sank into the gunge, with her back and and bum soon sticking up into the air along with her feet. All getting a splattering, this descended below the lumpy gooey depths, the blue splashing down into the lurid looking mixture to create a big blue splat on the surface of the ruined vat. A wave crashed out with a plop from where Carly’s backside had vanished under, spreading out in a circle and causing the surface to begin blubbering and crashing in its wake, before going calmer for a moment. And then, a couple of squelches and a few large blubs ruptured out from the goo in the centre of the tank, as one final signal that Carly had well and truly received her comeuppance below the gunk.

“WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOO! YEAAAHHHHHH!”

Up and down Samantha was shouting and cheering, not standing still and not holding back as she watched the chunky mire ripple, with no site of her swimming coach to be seen. From up above though, some more sky blue rained into the tank, thudding into the center and causing the cheering from the audience to go even louder. It stopped down to a spatter. And then, at the wall of the tank toward the audience, came two hands, clutching it. And then up came a lumpy, caked, dripping blob of green and purple. Carly was completely coated; her hair sodden and claggy, fringe over her forehead, with a full caked face off muck. Some of the thick gunge cream was hanging onto her face too, and her chin was stringing and dripping with stretchy, slimy looking goo. Her nose had a few globules coming off it as well, and her ears were clearly made out with little drops forming under also. She squelched and slowly rose up higher at the wall of the tank, not even bothering to clean her face as she slowly opened her mouth, her ruined lipstick dripping with the messy gunk. She began to breathe heavily, and let out a womanly gasp as she clung on, her chest moving up and down under the drenched t-shirt. Above her now came some dirty looking orange, which crashed out over her already slimy head and shoulders, as it did, she slipped from the wall of the tank and below the gunge once more, before pushing her legs naturally against the wall and wading into the middle of the tank. A fresh coating, she was now sporting plenty of the gunge cream over her head and face, mouth open in a small ‘O’ now as Katie reared up.

“MARVELOUS! Oh, wow, doesn’t she look a picture? And – WOAH!”

From under the platform that Samantha was giggling upon, a small angled spigot blew out some more of the gunge themed cream, right across the side of the coaches face. And then from above came a very watery blue this time, splashing and splattering out over Carly. She covered her face at this and sank a little deeper for a moment, allowing the slime to drench her all over again. This is where she finally clawed her eyes out, as Katie continued.

“Hmm. Ew. Wow, that was totally brilliant, I loved that, I think we all did! Ha! Samantha, she complains about the pool, about ruining her hair and whatnot – look she’s taken a dive into a private pool just for her, and she has definitely got ruined hair and nails now. Do you feel like she’s got the swimming lesson she deserves?”

Samantha grinned, baring her teeth as she looked at her swimming teacher in the stuff below her. Carly looked round, eyes looking to Samantha who giggled uncontrollably down at her. Carly turned around again and wiped her mouth, scrunching her eyes up at the humiliation.

“Ye – yeah, hehehehe!”

Katie nodded and gave the young girl a thumbs up as more of the dirty orange from above splashed thickly onto Carly, who this time whelped in the gunge, lost her balance and was wobbling in the tank under the new drenching. At the same time, some spigots around the wall of the tank acted up, spraying the coach with some thick white cream to go along with her overall dank look now. She finally lost her balance with a gasp and sank beneath the goo for a moment or so, her slender legs lying across the surface with her toes down again elegantly. They kicked and she splashed as she raised her head back up again now, mouth wide open and in disbelief.

“Well Samantha, and you Jemma both with some fantastic themed goodies. You also both receive tickets to a high profile concert next year, and a personalised photo album of today’s events! It also comes in digital so you can share it for your friends!”

Katie finished off, clasping her hands together and grinning happily. She looked down at the sloppy woman in the tank below her, who had stood up again and was wading on the surface.

“Ahh. And as for you Carly. Considering you never get in the pool, you do seem to know how to dive proper. And not only that but maybe you should get in the pool next time, I mean you look horrible down there love.”

Carly closed her eyes and opened her mouth wide again, feeling the ooze between her toes and in her nether regions too. It was thick, of course and felt heavy. It was chilly and the lumps all in it felt uncomfortable. She was sure that her hair and skin would be stained a little bit by it. She looked up and at Katie.

“No…I…No, no…”

She quietly whimpered this, and all of a sudden much to everyone’s delight, a huge dropping of the gunge cream fell right onto her. It thudded down, heavy and thick, over her shoulders and onto her face, as well as some slime pouring down also. It plopped in huge lumps over the hapless swimming coach, dolloping over her and causing huge splats in the tank around her whilst the light green gunge gave her a new glazing too. Feeling the weight, texture and coldness of this weird cream she’d opened her mouth and eyes wide when the first few dollops splotched onto her face, and kept this expression as she waded forward a bit out of its way. And then, some of the dirty orange splashed down onto her, causing her to sink into the gunge in front of her all of a sudden under it. As the blob of the back of her head waded forward, two arms very quickly motioned, naturally as though swimming, a fitting look for her.

“Ohhh gross. I tell you what, she gives her students swimming lessons from hell, but no one will want to be taught by Carly anymore because boy does she smell! Haha! Right that’s all we have time for here at The New Get Your Own Back, please do join us again soon for more crazy games, more deserving adults to dunk, and even more gunge! Goodbyeeeeee!”

Katie waved, as did both kids and heather on her chair, whilst below them all Carly was now on her back in the tank, wading with her arms and kicking her legs a bit in front of her. She still had a horrified expression across her coated face, but decided to give a tiny wave to the cameras. All of her students where happily peaking into the tank, as she continued with her mucky swim, a sight that they all felt was long overdue. And it was all the more sweeter that one of the first times they saw their coach swimming, was in some rather nasty gunge, coated head to toe, embarrassed completely. More gunk rained from above and splatted here, as she covered her nose and disappeared below the muck, leaving the surface choppy and lumpy. The games were highlighted for the end of the show, recapping what had happened, but the final image was of Carly, camera right at the other end of the tank, capturing in slow motion her elegant, defeated dive into the tank from her seat, and gunge coming up to splash the camera as it ate her up.

So! There you are, finally, another installment!

I have a few things that I sort of want to mention, but I will leave it for another time.

As for another episode, well I’m currently (Slowly) planning something for the festive period to do with The New Get Your Own Back. But again, it’s still in planning, and these days I have little time. However I’m hoping it’ll be up during the festive period and that you all enjoy. But that is all I am saying!

Until next time…

MsM

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So first things first, the grand final and play-off votes will be up on Thursday. Either go to Challonge or click below to see how the match-ups look.

First of all, I asked if you wanted it. 60 people said yes, 9 said no and 10 had no strong feelings one way or the other, so it’s happening.

Third place play-off: Emma Stone vs. Jennifer Lawrence

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Entrants number 29 and 30 are up against each other. It’s a civil war between two of PML’s entrants! Well, we’ve all been there at some point, haven’t we?

Let’s not forget our main event.

The Grand Final: Karen Gillan vs. Sophie Turner

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Round 1 had one of my nominees against a fake redhead (though to be fair, Simone is also one) and history is about to repeat itself. Either my nominee’s about to lose, in which case it’s a repeat of said round 1 matchup; or she’s about to win, in which case it’s a repeat of 2011’s grand final! Either way, some might argue there’s very little to pick between entrants #9 and #112 – especially since they keep getting mistaken for each other!

Next on the bill is how we’re going to gunge them! I’m still taking suggestions, and the method vote will run concurrently with the final and play-off votes.

Finally, we don’t have a GGP winner yet, but we do have a prediction contest winner, if I’m reading all the results right. Because of how this has panned out, only three people can score any points this round, and they have all picked Sophie Turner as their champion. As such, nobody can beat 44556’s current score of 262. The only thing that might happen is if Sophie wins, Dalmighty1 will jump up from sixth to third, but there’s no prize for anything other than first. Unless I won of course, but I can’t win since I backed Ariana Grande and I’m going to have to settle for 14th. Point is, 44556 has won the prediction contest. I’ll email you in the morning to get the ball rolling on this custom SSD. My current aim is to work on that some time in the new year since I’m quite interested in possibly being in the story contest and putting out a few other shorts like the Floor Jansen and Suzuka Nakamoto ones.

Oh, and MCPridz? Your wooden spoon is in the post. Image may be NSFW.
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Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity)

“Welcome back to the results show for this CSWL edition featuring Aston Villa versus Birmingham City. My name is Sophie Rose and I will be your host today, and here with me is Bianca Westwood from Sky Sports who will be co-hosting.”

Sophie is wearing the same tight green top, short black skirt and black high heel shoes as the preview show. Bianca has a white and black patterned blouse, black trousers and black high heel shoes on.

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“Hi everyone!” exclaims an excited looking Bianca. “Actually there has been a development, and I will be taking over as the main host today, as Sophie will soon be otherwise preoccupied!”

This wasn’t obviously in the script as Sophie looked a little bemused “What do you mean Bianca?”

“As you know Sophie, the viewers have been voting to see if you get to have a messy initiation as it’s your CSWL debut as presenter, and it’s been a bit of a landslide result with 84% of the viewers feeling that you do deserve one.”

Sophie looks up to the sky and gulps “Ok, but won’t this happen until the end of the show, like in previous episodes?”

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“I am afraid not Sophie. It has been decided that the initiation will take place for the entire length of the show, and that’s why I have been asked to step in to become the main host. Now, can you make your way to the dunk tank behind you and take a seat.”

Sophie grudgingly makes her way to the tank and climbs the steps at the back so that she is able to sit on the plank that is positioned directly over the tank. Sophie peered down to see that the tank was full of water. Sophie gave a wry look as Bianca explained what was going to happen.

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“For the first part of your initiation, you will be dunked into the water every 5 minutes. You need to make sure you are sitting on the plank in time for the next dunk otherwise you will pay a special forfeit.”

“I am going to get absolutely soaked!”

“That’s the idea” chuckled Bianca

Bianca turned to face the audience “As Sophie ponders how wet she will be getting, lets welcome back the two celebrities who are on the show today. It’s Abbey Clancy and Sammy Winward who are representing Aston Villa and Birmingham City respectively.”

On walks Abbey and Sammy to applause from the audience. They are both wearing the same outfits as in the preview show.

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At that moment there is a loud siren and the plank above the dunk tank gives way and drops a squealing Sophie into the water below. As she hits the surface her arms and legs wave frantically about and make an almighty splash. The other 3 ladies on the stage watched amusingly as Sophie thrashed about in the tank until she found the tank floor with her feet and was able to stand up. As she stood, the water level came to her waist, and the audience gasped as they saw the effects the water had had on her tight green top. It was now a dark green colour as it was saturated with water, and had also plastered itself to her upper body, and showed every curve including her generously sized tits and her erect nipples.

Bianca was the first to comment “Is it a bit cold in there Sophie?”

The other ladies laughed as Sophie looked down on herself to see her pokies, and folded her arms across her chest to protect her modesty.

As Sophie clambered out of the tank and re-took her place on the re-positioned plank, Bianca continued with the show.

“So ladies, lets get to the result of the match. Both of you are unaware of the actual result as we have kept you away from the TV and social media.”

Both ladies fidgeted nervously as they waited to find out.

“I can confirm that it was a very high scoring game and Aston Villa were the victors by 4 goals to 2.”

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Both Abbey and Sammy gasped as they realised they would both be getting messy, and the realisation of what this meant for Sammy suddenly dawned on her, and she put her hand to her forehead and started to shake her head.

Bianca beamed “Yes that’s right Sammy, 4 goals conceded means you have to do all your forfeits naked!”

The former Emmerdale star was speechless as the audience started to clap and chant “Strip! Strip! Strip!”

Reluctantly, Sammy reached for the straps of her dress and pulled them down her shoulder. With a sexy wiggle of her body, the 33 year old actress slowly pulled her dress down, until it was over her hips and then let go of the garment so that it fell to the floor and around her ankles. There was a lot of wolf whistles as this showed that Sammy was wearing a matching dark blue bra and knickers.

Sammy looked pleadingly towards Bianca, but Bianca put her hands on her hips and gave her an expectant look. Sighing, Sammy unclasped her bra and flung the garment to the floor before quickly bending down and pulling her knickers down her gorgeous legs so that she was able to step out of them. Immediately, the sexy blonde covered her tits with her left arm and hand and covered her shaved muff with her right hand.

Sammy looked quite vulnerable as Bianca commented “We’ll be nice to you, and we’ll let you keep your high heel shoes on!”

“Thanks” was the sarcastic reply.

A loud squeal and then a splash was heard. The ladies looked behind them to see Sophie being unceremoniously dumped into the water again.

Bianca chuckled “Another dousing for Sophie there!”

As Sophie climbed out of the tank showing that her top was clinging even more to her curves, Bianca picked up a creamy custard pie. “For the first goal conceded you can have this.”

Sammy closed her eyes, expecting to receive the pie in the face, but was surprised as Bianca splatted the pie on her naked bottom. Sammy yelped as she felt the cold dessert on her skin.

“For the second goal conceded it’s a trip to the gunge tank. Please follow me.”

The naked actress did her best to walk behind Bianca whilst still trying to cover her modesty. They made the short walk to the gunge tank where there was a solitary plastic seat inside. Without being asked, Sammy took her seat and looked up to see a nozzle directly above her. Sammy gulped as Bianca beckoned Abbey over, and asked if she would like to press the button which released the gunge.

“Oh yes please!”

Abbey pushed the button and a sudden surge of thick green gunge rained down onto Sammy’s naked body. For a moment, it took away Sammy’s breath as she was deluged in the mucky slop. She raised her hands to cover her face, which meant her previously covered tits received a coating of gunge. The downpour didn’t last long, but it was sufficient to cover Sammy apart from the lower part of her legs and her high heel shoes.

The gunged actress stood up slowly and walked out of the tank. Bianca asked Sammy to follow her to the dunk tank that Sophie was sitting on top of. As they reached the tank, Bianca looked at her watch and stated “Perfect Timing!” and the next second the plank gave way to propel Sophie into the water again. As the dripping Sophie climbed out, Bianca announced that the first part of her initiation was over and asked Sophie to stand next to her. Instead she beckoned Sammy to take the steps at the back so that she could take her place on the plank.

“For the third goal conceded it’s the dunk tank for you Sammy, and we’re being kind to you again as the tank is filled with water and not anything messy.”

Sammy gave Bianca a nonchalant look as she prepared herself for the forthcoming dip into the tank. It was only a few seconds until the plank gave way and dropped Sammy into the water. There was a large splash as the blonde went fully under the water and it was a short while until she re-appeared with the water coming to her waist. The water had washed most of the gunge away and Sammy smoothed back her wet hair with both hands and then realised her now clean and fullsome tits were in full view of the audience and camera alike. Quickly she resumed holding her tits with her hands, and then made her way out of the tank giving the audience a good view of her naked bottom.

“Come with me ladies!” Bianca leads Sammy and Sophie to a specially constructed cage in the middle of the stage. It was lined with metal bars all the way around and was just big enough for 2 people to stand inside.

Bianca opens the cage door and beckons the ladies inside. With heavy sighs, both Sammy and Sophie walk inside and Bianca duly closes the door and locks it with a key.

Bianca smiles and dangles the key in front of them “I had better take good care of this!”

Bianca turns to the camera and announces its time for Abbey to receive her forfeits. “So Abbey, before we get to the 2 goals conceded, let’s start with the bookings. Villa received 2 of them which means 2 spins of the forfeit wheel.”

Sexily, Abbey walks to the wheel and spins. It lands on ‘strip 1 article of clothing’. Abbey grins wryly as she begins to undo the tie on her dress and removes the garment and lets it fall to the floor. This reveals that Abbey is wearing black lingerie consisting of skimpy bra, knickers, stockings and suspenders. The 32 year old model knows that she looks great in her underwear and confidently spins the wheel for the second time. This time it lands on a segment called ‘Honey Bucket’.

Bianca picks up a nearby bucket and positions it over Abbey’s head. Abbey cringes as she puts her hands to her face as she prepares for the upcoming mess. Bianca slowly upturns the bucket and the honey starts to trickle out and onto Abbey. Abbey shrieks as the honey runs all over her blonde hair and face and starts to drip down her body. Bianca shakes the bucket so that the last bit of honey comes out, and leaves Abbey with honey soaked hair and honey streams running down her body and down her stockinged legs.

Bianca then announced that before we get to the forfeits for the goals conceded by Villa, there needs to be a review of the bookings that Birmingham City had. “There was a total of 3 bookings for Birmingham which would normally mean 3 spins of the forfeit wheel. However Sammy is unable to spin as she is in the cage, so I will decide what the forfeits will be. Let me introduce you all to Cathy.” On walked a sexy blonde firefighter, holding a fire extinguisher.

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Cathy smiled to the camera and then aimed the fire extinguisher at the cage.

Sophie wasn’t happy “Hey, what’s going to happen? If this is a forfeit for Sammy, then I need to be let out of the cage!”

Bianca smiled “Afraid not Sophie, lets just say that this is part of your initiation!”

Cathy pressed the nozzle and sprayed both Sammy and Sophie with foam. The 2 ladies couldn’t escape it as the cage was too small for them to properly move about. Cathy aimed the extinguisher up and down so that both the clothed Sophie and the naked Sammy got covered head to foot in foam.

Cathy walked off the stage to applause from the audience.

As Sophie and Sammy were wiping their eyes clear of foam, Bianca continued “For the second booking, you will notice that there is a trough positioned on top of the cage. The trough has a lever which if pulled, will rotate the trough 180 degrees and dump its contents onto our 2 caged beauties. Let me do that now!”

Bianca pulled the lever which rotates the trough and black gunge poured down onto the squealing cage occupants. It was sticky and thick and covered both ladies in equal proportion.

“For the third booking, lets welcome Cathy back on.”

Cathy walks on to more applause from the audience, this time carrying a hose.

“Let them have it Cathy!”

Cathy turned the hose on, and a blast of water hits both blonde bombshells and starts to wash the mess off them.

Bianca turns to the camera “We’ll leave Cathy to give them a good hosing as they are very dirty girls, and in the meantime we’ll get to the forfeits for Abbey for Villa’s 2 goals conceded.”

Abbey put her arms behind her back and leans forward slightly as Bianca picks up a custard pie and splats it in Abbey’s face.

As Abbey is wiping her face, Bianca leads her to the gunge tank and asks her to sit inside which she duly does.

The button is pressed and gallons of transparent sticky gunge envelopes the lingerie-clad beauty below. It completely covers Abbey, and makes her body and stockings glisten under the studio lights.

Abbey stands up with gunge dripping off every part of her as Bianca speaks “That’s it for you Abbey, so you are welcome to go and get cleaned up or you can help me with the rest of the show.”

Abbey looks over to where Sophie and Sammy are still being hosed and grins in an evil manner “I think I’ll help you”

“Great, lets see how Cathy is getting on.”

Cathy had successfully hosed both ladies to the point where they were now completely clean, but absolutely soaked. “Thanks Cathy, that’s a job well done!”

Cathy turns the hose off and walks off stage waving goodbye to the audience.

Bianca faces the cage occupants “I have some good news and bad news. What do you want first?”

Sophie was quick to respond “The good news please.”

“Ok. The good news is that we will unlock the door and you can both come out of the cage.”

Both ladies sighed with relief.

At that moment, a stagehand wheels on a double pillory which has spaces for 2 people to have their heads and hands locked in.

“The bad news is that we need to give you a special messing for the fourth goal conceded, and you are both going in the pillory.”

Sophie pleaded again “Hey, but this should just be Sammy and not me!”

Bianca seemed a little cross “But Sophie we have already gone through this, we need to continue the initiation for you. Also, as you are being such a baby about this and that you are complaining so much, I think you need to be punished a bit more, so can you take off all your clothes, but we’ll let you keep your high heel shoes on.”

The audience cheered at this news and there were shouts of “Get them out for the lads”

“What! No way!” protested Sophie

“Are you saying you won’t do it?” queried Bianca.

“Yes!”

“In that case I think we need some assistance from our friendly police force.”

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On walked 2 sexy female police officers and they duly unlocked the cage, took Sammy out and secured the naked blonde into the pillory. This meant that Sammy had to bend forward at a 45 degree angle so that she could fit into the pillory. They then turned their attention to Sophie and pulled her out of the cage and started to strip her. Sophie tried to resist but was no match for the 2 WPC’s and she was soon naked and standing in just her high heel shoes. There was a huge roar of approval from the audience as Sophie’s large bouncy tits were revealed. The WPC’s secured Sophie into the pillory, and then departed the stage.

Bianca chuckled as she looked at the 2 naked and dripping wet ladies now secured in the pillory with their tits and bum completely exposed.

Bianca picks up a jug of cold and congealed gravy and pours it over Sammy’s head so that her wet blonde hair is covered in it, and then proceeds to pour a second jug over Sophie’s head.

Meanwhile Abbey had walked around the back of the pillory and had another 2 jugs of gravy and poured them over the 2 ladies naked backs and bottoms so that gravy streamed down their legs to their high heel shoes.

“Yuck! This is disgusting” complained Sammy.

Bianca is given a large bowl of trifle and smiles wickedly as she approaches Sophie “Those tits of yours are impressive, but let’s see what they look like after they have been dipped in trifle.”

Bianca pushes the bowl into her left breast as Sophie gasps as the cold and clammy dessert comes into contact with her nipple, before Bianca pushes the bowl into her right breast. This leaves her tits smothered in custard, cream and runny fruits.

“Ha Ha, I think I might call you ‘Trifle Tits’ from now on”

“Very funny Bianca. I won’t forget this you know!”

Bianca mocked being scared “Oh and I am so frightened!”

Sophie gives Bianca a dirty look, as Bianca turns to the camera.

“I am pleased to announce that we have 50 Aston Villa fans that have joined us today and they want to celebrate their teams victory. I will now ask them to come onto the stage one by one, and personally give both ladies a present. It’s a bit corny, but the presents needed to have some kind of link to the team, so what better than Vanilla custard pies from Villa fans!”

A line of adult fans, both male and female, could be seen to the left hand side of the studio, and they began to walk on. Each fan was carrying 2 Vanilla custard pies. What happened next was a custard pie frenzy, as both Sammy and Sophie got pied all over their faces, top of their heads, tits, bottoms, backs, muffs, legs and hands. They let out squeals as they gradually got covered in the vanilla pie, until they were unrecognisable. Some fans were gentle when they splatted their pie onto the ladies naked bodies, whereas others chose to forcefully slap their pies onto the sexy targets.

When the last fan had used his pies, Bianca asked both ladies how they were feeling.

“Thoroughly pied and pretty exposed!”

“I feel so dirty, I can’t wait to have a shower!”

Bianca turned to the camera “That brings us to an end of another highly enjoyable edition of CSWL. Thank you to my guests Abbey Clancy and Sammy Winward, and a special thank you to newbie presenter Trifle Tits. Until next time, goodbye!”

As the credits stated to show on screen, Bianca could be seen in the background rubbing more custard pies into the faces of Sammy and Sophie.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

This story contains nudity.

Welcome to this weekends results show of CSWL with me your host Gabby Logan.

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Gabby is wearing a silver mini dress, black strappy high-heeled shoes and her long blonde hair is being worn down.

Let’s introduce our home team representative shall we and that is Natasha Kaplinsky.

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Natasha is wearing a purple knee-length dress, silver strappy high-heeled shows and her short dark hair is being worn in a short permed bob.

So Natasha a good result for you today against a team that was previously unbeaten, but it isn’t enough to keep you clean so how do you feel.

Well Gabby happy that we won the match and ended Chelsea’s unbeaten run, but not happy they weren’t able to keep me clean and I hope it isn’t to messy for me.

Thank you for that Natasha now let’s meet our Chelsea representative shall we and that is actress Gemma Bissix.

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GEMMA BISSIX
at “The Dark Knight” UK Film Premiere, Odeon Leicester Square, London, England, 21st July 2008.
Batman movie full length black and gold cream striped mini dress shoes hand on hip
CAP/BEL
©Tom Belcher/Capital Pictures

Gemma is wearing a white and black mini dress, with also white and black high-heeled shoes and her medium length blonde hair is being worn down and is straight.

Welcome back Gemma it didn’t go well for your team today did it.

No Gabby it did not only did our unbeaten run end, they also conceded 3 goals and I am going to be stood here in my underwear.

Well you best get on with it then hadn’t you snaps Gabby.

Gemma removes her dress to reveal a white skimpy bra that doesn’t leave much to the imagination, and a white thong as well to reveal her pert bum to the viewing audience.

Thank you for that Gemma, now let’s move onto the forfeits shall we and as Tottenham was the home team you will be up first.

First up is the yellow cards and Tottenham had none of these so let’s’ move on shall we.

Tottenham was caught offside 3 times and again it is 4 every 4 off sides it is a spin of the wheel, so again we shall move on.

So let’s reveal how many fouls Tottenham committed and they committed a massive 19 fouls so that will be 4 spins of the wheel Natasha.

Natasha spins the wheel for the  1st time and it lands on ‘Ice Bath’.

Natasha gingerly walks over to the Bath before stepping inside of it, and then ducking under for 10 seconds, she is shivering as she does this at the sheer coldness of the water, and Natasha continues to shiver as she exits the bath once the forfeits is completed.

Natasha then makes her way over to the wheel again for her 2nd spin.

Natasha then spins the wheel and this time it lands on ‘Gunge Tank’.

Natasha is then led over to the gunge tank, she then sits inside and the door is shut behind her.

Gabby then pulls the lever and releases a torrent of red gunge all over a hapless Natasha and it domes all over her, coating Natasha all over and the gunge then starts to pool in Natasha’s lap.

Natasha is then led out of the gunge tank and over to the wheel for her final spin of the wheel.

Natasha spins the wheel for the final time and it land’s on ‘Knickerbocker Glory’.

Gabby lift’s up Natasha’s dress to reveal a purple thong to the watching audience, Gabby then pours the desert inside of Natasha’s knickers and it makes her groan as it goes all over her sensitive areas.

Once the jug of pudding has been emptied Gabby pulls down Natasha’s dress to its original position.

Now let’s move onto the possession forfeit and as Tottenham had 20% less possession that means there will be 10 pies plastered all over the lovely Natasha here.

Gabby picks up the first pie and slams it into Natasha’s face coating her face in pie, she then picks up 2 more pies and gives Natasha a pie sandwich, Gabby then lifts Natasha’s dress up again planting a pie in the front of Natasha’s thong then one onto the back of her thong coating her bum in cream, then Gabby slaps went into the front of Natasha’s dress where her boobs are, before slapping one on the top of Natasha’s head crowning her hair in a creamy mess, Gabby then finishes with the final 3 pies all over Natasha’s legs and feet.

Once the pie barrage has finished it is onto the one goal forfeit that Tottenham conceded and it is a trip back to the gunge tank, but this time Natasha will be covered in blue gunge to represent Chelsea blue.

Natasha is sat inside once again and Gabby pulls the lever to release the torrent of blue gunge all over Natasha, now she is a blue slimy mess and is covered from head to toe in the blue gunge.

Thank you Natasha that is your forfeits completed, now Gemma would you join me over her please.

First up is the yellow cards and Chelsea had 2 so that means 2 custard pies for the lovely Gemma here, Gabby picks them up and gives Gemma a pie sandwich coating her face and hair in cream.

Now lets move onto the indiscretions now shall we first up is the off sides and Chelsea had 5 so that means a spin of the wheel.

Gemma spins the wheel and it lands on ‘Knickerbocker Glory’.

And like Natasha had to endure but Gabby is doing it slightly differently though, and she pulls open the elastic of Gemma’s thong and pours the desert inside of it and all over Gemma’s private area’s. The desert then starts to drip down Gemma’s legs as well.

Once the jug of dessert is emptied Gemma is led over to the Wheel.

But this time it is for fouls committed and Chelsea conceded 12 so that means 3 spins of the wheel.

Gemma then spins the wheel and it lands on ‘Ice Bath’.

Gemma is then led over to the bath and get’s inside and shivers at the sheer coldness of it, she is then instructed to go under for 10 seconds just like Natasha had to do, this removes a lot of the mess that has covered Gemma.

Gemma spins the wheel for the 2nd time and it lands on strip x2.

Gabby then asks Gemma to firstly remove her bra, and then  uses a hand to cover over her boobs, she then wiggles and uses her free hand to remove her thong, Gabby then asks Gemma to remove her hands from her body to reveal it in all her glory.

Gemma then gives Gabby an evil stare, but reluctantly does it and she get’s plenty of wolf whistles from the audience.

Gemma is then led over to the wheel for her final spin of the wheel

And it lands on ‘Shower Surprise’.

Gemma is then led over to the shower cubicle, then Gabby releases the lever and a torrent of rice pudding comes out of it and befalls Gemma, coating her from head to toe in lumpy rice pudding.

Now Gemma is led out of the bath and over to the gunge tank for her first goal forfeit.

Gemma is now inside of the tank and then Gabby pulls the lever to release a torrent of white gunge all over Gemma, coating her naked body in white gunge.

Gemma is then led over to the pillories for her 2nd goal forfeit.

Gemma is then locked into position in the pillories and then 3 buckets are then brought out, the first one is mud, which is poured all over Gemma, turning her into a dark brown colour, before following up with some pig slop which is a dark yellow colour and again is poured all over Gemma, before the final bucket it upturned on her which is manure and Gemma then gag at it is bought closer to her before it i dispenses all over her coating her in a smelly mess.

Now it is onto the final goal forfeit which is the bath.

Gemma is led over to the bath where there is some blue poster paint waiting for Gemma.

Gemma then get’s into the bath where she again has to submerge herself underneath for 10 seconds again.

Once Gemma has done this she exits the bath.

Gabby as you know first time presenters go through an initiation, so first up get in the bath full of paint please, says both ladies.

Gabby refuses so they grab her by the arms and dumps her into the bath, coating her whole body in blue poster paint.

Both ladies then lead Gabby over to the pillories before the proceed to strip her naked removing her dress her silver clad bra and thong combination.

Both ladies lock the pillories and dump the 3 buckets that befell Gemma all over Gabby, so the Mud then the pig slop and finally the manure coating Gabby all over and obviously the manure makes Gabby gag.

Gabby is then led out of the pillories to wrap up the show.

Thank you for joining me a naked humiliated smelly Gabby Logan and my 2 guests a humiliated Natasha Kaplinsky and an equally naked and humiliated Gemma Bissix.

Join Jacqui Oatley for a special Derby Day CSWL that will include Fulham vs Chelsea, Arsenal vs Tottenham and Liverpool vs Everton.

Yes I am going to try to be daring for this weekends CSWL going to try to intertwine 3 matches into 1 story.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Welcome to this Derby Day CSWL Special with me your host Jacqui Oatley, and today’s show is a little bit different, we have 6 ladies on today with 1 representing each of the 6 teams in action. We will still have the same forfeit wheel and the same goals forfeits as usual.

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Jacqui is wearing  purple mini dress, black high-heeled shoes and her short blonde hair is in a bob style.

So shall we meet the 2 representatives of our first match shall we and it is Chelsea vs Fulham.

First up is the Chelsea representative and that is actress Isla Fisher.

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Isla is wearing a grey mini dress, grey sandal high-heeled shoes and her ginger hair is being worn down.

Now shall we move onto the Fulham representative and that is newsreader Emily Maitlis.

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Emily is wearing a white mini-dress and nude high-heeled shoes and her blonde hair is being worn in a bob.

So ladies you are first up in our Derby day triple-header how are you both feeling.

Isla answers first, well Jacqui we had a slump last week and we want to write those wrongs and Fulham concede for fun so hopefully we can win and I inflict a load of mess over a naked newsreader in Emily Maitlis.

And Emily what do you say to that.

Well Jacqui we won our last game and yes we do concede a lot of goals but hopefully we can rectify this against Chelsea and Isla over here will be eating her words.

Thank you ladies now let’s meet our next to representatives and they come from North London rivals Arsenal and Tottenham, so let’s meet our Arsenal representative first shall we.

And that is American actress Charlize Theron.

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Charlize is wearing a white bra, and white mini skirt with white high-heeled shoes and her blonde hair is down to her shoulders and is curly and being worn down.

Now let’s move onto our Tottenham Hotspur representative shall we.

And that is singer Cher Lloyd.

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Cher is wearing a multi-coloured rainbow tutu mini dress, black Nike trainers and her brown hair is being worn down and is curly.

So ladies how do you feel about representing both your teams this weekend in our derby day special.

Charlize answers first, well Jacqui it is a fierce rivalry between us both but we are the home team and I hope we can win and I suffer minimal mess.

And what about you Cher.

Well Jacqui we are currently above Arsenal in the league, but they do have a long unbeaten run, but I am hoping we have the quality to be able to beat them.

Thank you ladies now let’s meet our final 2 representatives shall we first up is the Liverpool representative being the home team.

And that is American actress and former wife of Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie.

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Angelina is wearing a beige cocktail mini-dress and silver high-heeled shoes, and her brown hair is tied up.

And now onto our final representative and that will be our Everton fan, which is Ex-Atomic Kitten member Liz McClarnon.

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Liz is wearing a white mini dress with an orange stripe down the side and gold high-heeled shoes and her blonde hair being worn down and is curly.

Welcome ladies you are our final 2 guests of this weekend how do you feel.

Angelina speaks first, well Jacqui we are 2nd in the league have probably one of the best attacks in the league and defensively we are getting better, so I can’t see beyond a win here.

And what about you Liz.

Well we are away and Anfield is a tough place to go but we always perform there and hope we can get a result with it being a derby.

Thank you ladies now lets reveal the forfeits shall we, first up is the wheel for the likes of off sides, possession, fouls and other indiscretions.

1 Goal will be the gunge tank.

For 2 goals it’s a trip to the pillories.

For 3 goals it is the bath and all goals will be done in your underwear.

For 4 goals it is the dunk tank and all forfeits will be done naked.

For 5 goals we have a mystery forfeit.

All ladies are shocked by the announcement for the final 2 goals and have their heads in their hands.

So join me where I will also have to do the initiation and my 6 guests announces Jacqui Oatley

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

A short and snappy story for the weekend…

A new concept programme has been announced, and combines horse racing with sports newsreaders.

The programme centres around the Saturday 3.00 horse race at Newbury (Ladbrokes Trophy Chase) where there are 13 runners (at time of writing). Each horse has been assigned alphabetically to a current or former Sky Sports presenter. The presenter whose horse wins gets the pleasure of being gunged. Let’s introduce the ladies and which horse they will be representing, together with their odds (at the time of writing):-

Anna Woolhouse (Allyson Monterg 25-1)
Bianca Westwood (American 11-1)
Hayley McQueen (Beware the Bear (12-1)

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Jo Wilson (Black Corton 12-1)
Kirsty Gallacher (Dingo Dollar 8-1)
Laura Woods (Elegant Escape 11-2)

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Michelle Owen (Flying Angel 16-1)
Natalie Sawyer (Go Conquer 28-1)
Natalie Pinkham (Ms Pafois 11-2)

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Orla Chennaoui (The Young Master 10-1)
Rachel Brookes (Thomas Patrick 7-2)
Rachel Wyse (Sizing Tennessee 16-1)
Vicky Gomersall (West Approach 33-1)

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Tune back in on Saturday night where the gunging will take place for the winner, with the possibility of some extra surprises for another lady or two, depending on what happens during the race, and the results of the snap poll. Polls close 3pm Saturday, and repeat voting is allowed…..

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(This story contains nudity)

This is a quickly written story so that the results are posted on the day of the race

The programme begins with TV pundit and jockey Hayley Turner striding onto the stage. Hayley is wearing a white shirt, black trousers and brown boots.

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“Welcome to the show. I am Hayley Turner and I am thrilled to be hosting the inaugural ‘Hores Racing Roulette’. We have 13 sports presenters matched with the 13 horses in the 3:00 race today at Newbury, and the presenter whose horse has won will be gunged live on tonight’s show! There will also be a few extra special awards which we will announce later on in the show. But first let’s see the result:-“

A large overhead TV screen flickered into life and displayed the result.

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“As Sizing Tennessee has won, this means it will be the lovely Rachel Wyse who will have the pleasure of getting the gunge.”

Rachel walks slowly onto the stage to join Hayley wearing a short red dress and black high heel shoes.

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“Hi Rachel and congratulations or should I say commiserations! Ha ha!”

Rachel cocked her head at the comments from the jockey and smiled weakly.

“Let me walk you to our special gunge tank.”

Hayley takes Rachel’s hand and leads her to a glass walled cubicle situated on the left hand side of the stage. There was a plastic chair inside, and a large compartment above.

“Before you go in Rachel, can you please remove your dress!”

“Do I have to?” replied Rachel in her sexy irish accent.

Hayley nodded as Rachel sighed and slipped her dress off to reveal a skimpy black bra and black knickers. Rachel took her place on the seat and covered her bra-clad tits with her hands in an attempt to prevent any gunge getting inside.

Hayley smiled as she pulled the lever and gallons of thick orange gunge flowed down onto Rachel and made her squeal as it quickly covered her glossy blonde hair, head and upper body.

Whilst the gunge was still falling, Hayley announced some information about the significance of the gunge colour “We know that horses love carrots, so the gunge represents what liquified carrots may look like!”

By now Rachel was being overwhelmed by the continuous gunge falling on her, and raised her hands to her face in an effort to wipe her face. This resulted in the gunge being able to flow inside her bra and cover her tits. Rachel squealed as this happened and returned her hands to their original place.

The gunge flow eventually slowed to a trickle and Rachel slowly stood up and stepped out of the cubicle.

“Wow, you are really covered in that gunge slop Rachel. Rather you than me!”

The orange gunge coated presenter gave Hayley a wry smile

“Ok well that’s your gunging out of the way, so thanks for being such a good sport and you can now go and get cleaned up.”

Rachel trudged off as Hayley faced the camera. “As you are all aware, we have been holding an online vote to see which presenter should receive a bonus messing, so let’s see who has won that.”

Hayley momentarily looks down at her clipboard “I can announce that with a staggering 46% of the vote, the winner is….Bianca Westwood.”

On walked Bianca wearing a very elegant silver ballgown and silver high heel shoes.

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“Quite a result Bianca! We understand you received lots of repeat votes.”

“Yeah, I can’t really believe I was voted for so much. I guess it may have something to do with me being a little mean to the celebrities in the previous CSWL show.”

“Perhaps Bianca, but no matter the reason, you will take part in our next little game. But before we can start that, we need someone else to be your opponent.”

Hayley walks to a spinning wheel with 4 segments on it. “On here are the names of 4 sports presenters and the reasons they have been selected, as decided by the Producers. I am going to spin the wheel and whichever name it lands on, will be the opponent against Bianca in the next game.”

The wheel showed the following:-

*Laura Woods – Her horse finished second

*Kirsty Gallacher – Her horse finished third

*Michelle Owen – She came second in the vote

*Natalie Sawyer – Her horse was a non-runner

Hayley gave the wheel a big spin, and all eyes were on the wheel as it came to a halt on the name of……….Michelle.

A shout of “Oh no!” was heard from off stage, as Hayley asked for Michelle to join her. Michelle walked on with her hands holding her face. She was wearing a short black dress and black high heel shoes.

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“Welcome Michelle. Now can you and Bianca follow me over here.”

Hayley walked to the right hand of the stage with the 2 presenters following. Hayley stopped when she reached an area which was covered by a tarapaulin. The jockey duly took it off to reveal a circular pit which was filled deep with squelchy mud.

Both Bianca and Michelle looked shocked as Hayley began to explain the game “The ground at Newbury today was soft which meant there was lots of mud about. The game you two will be playing will be a good old fashioned mud wrestling match. The winner is the first presenter to get their opponent to submit, and the loser will endure a special forfeit.”

Bianca was quick to say “But this dress cost a lot of money. It will get ruined in there!”

Hayley smiled “Up to you Bianca, you can go in there with your dress or without it. What do you want to do?”

Bianca muttered under her breath as she realised she would prefer to stay clothed.

Hayley took a whistle from her pocket, and gestured for both ladies to step into the pit, which they gingerly did. Hayley blew the whistle and the ladies started to lightly grapple each other, whilst they stood. Bianca was the slightly taller lady and put some pressure onto Michelle’s left leg which caused her to drop in the mud below. Bianca crouched down so that she could get a hold of Michelle and they began to wrestle while getting slowly covered with mud. Bianca was getting the upper hand and managed to sprawl Michelle so that she was lying down in the mud, and sat on top of her. Bianca chuckled as she gave Michelle’s hair a mud shampoo. Michelle was thrashing about trying to get Bianca off her, but she was proving to be too strong for her.

“Do you submit?”

“No!”

Bianca smeared mud into her opponents face, before changing tactic, and grabbed the straps of her dress and began to pull.

“Hey, don’t do that!”

Bianca ignored Michelle’s pleas and continued to pull the dress down until Michelle’s perky tits popped out and into view. With her dress around her waist, Michelle was powerless to stop Bianca grabbing handfuls of mud and smearing them over her tits.

Bianca stood up and continued to pull the dress until she was able to whisk the garment completely off Michelle to leave her wearing only a pair of knickers.

“Do you submit now?”

Michelle didn’t respond but seemed to get a second wind as she made a sudden movement to knock Bianca over so that she went splat into the mud. Michelle quickly sat on Bianca and treated her lovely brown hair to a mud shampoo, before pulling away at her dress.

Realising that she was in danger of getting stripped, Bianca fought back and again proved too strong for Michelle and managed to reverse the positions so that she was yet again sitting on top of Michelle. Bianca didn’t waist any time and hooked her fingers into the elastic of Michelle’s knickers and swiftly pulled them down her legs and threw them theatrically into the audience.

Now naked, Michelle was trying to cover her modesty as best she could, which wasn’t helping her in the wrestling match. Realising that she had lost, Michelle submitted, and a jubilant and mud-caked Bianca jumped up and down in victory.

“Congratulations you are the winner Bianca. For you Michelle, can you come with me to receive your losers forfeit.”

The naked and mud coated Michelle followed Hayley to a dunk tank. Michelle was covering her tits with her left hand and arm and covering her muff with her right hand as she made her way up the steps and sat on the plastic seat that was on top of the tank. She peered down beneath her to see a white gloopy substance.

“What is that?”

“It’s fresh horseradish sauce made with extra mayonnaise and cream.”

“Yuck!”

Hayley flicked the switch which propelled Michelle into the sauce. There was a loud splat as she hit the surface and her whole body delved under the surface. Gradually Michelle was able to stand up, with the sauce level coming to her waist, with the white sticky sauce matting her hair and covering her completely.

Michelle brought her fingers to her nose and pinched “It smells horrible in here!”

Hayley walked to where the mud pit was, and faced the camera to wrap up the show “Thank you for watching tonight. I hope you enjoyed…….”

Hayley was cut off mid sentence as Bianca grabbed Hayley from behind and pushed her into the mud pit. Hayley squealed as she went face first into the mud, and Bianca was quick to sit on her and give her hair a mud shampoo. The protesting Hayley then felt Bianca tearing at her shirt, and the flimsy material gave way quickly and enabled Bianca to take the garment off her. Next, Bianca was able to unclasp her bra and wrestled with Hayley so that she could take it off. Hayley fought back and grabbed Bianca’s dress and was able to tear it from her body. This left a shocked Bianca topless and wearing a pair of knickers. An angry Bianca found more energy and both ladies were slipping and sliding about in the slimey mud getting completely covered. Bianca managed to finally take Hayley’s bra from her, so that her tits were exposed as well. Both ladies were now a little tired and both staggered, stood up and stepped out of the pit. Both covered their tits with their hands.

A panting Hayley resumes talking to the camera “Where was I before I was rather rudely interrupted? Oh yes, I remember now, I hope you have enjoyed the show with some extra bonus wrestling at the end courtesy of Bianca. See you all very soon!”

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Time for some planning before my next big project. I have some time off over Xmas, so have decided to do “The Ultimate Xmas CSWL” which will work as follows:-

* Each participating lady is assigned to one of the 20 Premiership football teams (this is done alphabetically)

* There will be 4 rounds covering the following gameweeks during the festive period:-
Gameweek 18 – 21/22/23 Dec
Gameweek 19 – 26/27 Dec
Gameweek 20 – 29/30 Dec
Gameweek 21 – 1/2/3 Jan

* Scoring is as follows:- if team wins then 5 points awarded; if team draws then it’s 2 points; if team loses then it’s 0 points. There will also be 1 point awarded for each goal scored by the team.

* Points for each round will be added up for each lady, and the lady with least amount of points in each round will get to spin the forfeit wheel three times.

* There will be a public online vote during the event. The most voted for lady will get 0 points, the second most will get 1 point and so on, with the least voted lady getting 20 points.

* After all 4 rounds have been played, the points will be added together including points from the online vote, and the lady with the least amount of points will receive the ultimate messy forfeit.

* I will choose an appropriate lady or ladies to present the shows, once the participating ladies are known.

Ok, so that’s the rules, but we need to decide which lucky celebrity ladies will get to participate. I have set up a poll, where everyone can vote for a lady. Repeat voting has been blocked, and results won’t be made public. If we do get 20 nominated ladies, then the poll will close. If we get less than 20, then the league will still take place but will be limited to that number. Polls will be open for a week.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

(Contains nudity and some minor sexual themes)

Lucy Verasamy and myself stepped into the warm showers to help clean each other off which made things a lot easier I couldn’t help but appreciate her impressively toned figure. The 38-year-old weather forecaster stripped out of her ruined clothes, she noticed me watching and struck a sexy pose as the water in the shower poured over her body.

We spoke a little and she admitted she’d had a lot of fun on the show, asking me how I felt to which I guiltily let her it slip that I’d really enjoyed stripping and showing off my body on TV although I wasn’t sure how my bosses at work would view my ‘antics’.

She suggested I also strip as now I was the one overdressed and so I followed her instruction and removed my skirt and thong discarding the wet and messy items out of the way, Lucy reached out her hand and pulled me under the warm water and we stood holding each other for a while allowing the flow of water to wash over us.

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I started to help rubbing the paint out of her hair where she was unable to see and in return Lucy started to massage my rear, I looked at her as she flashed a cheeky grin which caused me to smile widely as well.

After we finally managed to clean each other completely removing all the messy stains from our bodies I surprised myself quickly kissed her on the lips before pulling away shocked at what I’d just done, fortunately Lucy wasn’t upset and in fact she pulled me in and kissed me more passionately as she started to play with my breasts.

We eventually broke apart and Lucy stammered “Wow that was intense, I’ve never done anything like this before” I laughed and replied with “If you think that was something you’ve got no idea what you’ve been missing out on…” as I leaned in and began to tease and kiss one of her nipples.

Before I got too into the moment the door opened and a shock production assistant popped inside and shrieked in surprise a little, before she apologised profusely for interrupting us eventually managing to get her message out that we were needed back on the set, Lucy who frozen on the spot in panic enquired “why?” but the young woman shook her head and quickly disappeared out of the room.

We quickly exited and found some clothes had been left out for us I assumed by the producers and I put on a pair of tight skinny jeans and top whereas Lucy put on a short tight grey skirt and cream coloured top, before we left the room she turned to me and asked if we could meet for lunch sometime and I knew she wanted to continue where we’d left off, naturally I took her up on the offer.

We walked back onto the side of the stage just in time for Behnaz Akhgar to welcome us back onto the stage one after another, I watched as Lucy strode across the stage, before she called out my name and I joined her.

As we stood alongside Behnaz, she finally revealed why we’d been called back out onto the stage and removed any fear we had for the time being that’d we would be getting messy once again as she explained she wanted our help to dish out some final bonus forfeits first she called out onto the stage a slightly miserable but clean looking Laura Whitmore.

Laura walked out wearing just a green bikini and was clearly not massively impressed by the situation Behnaz explained that the Republic of Ireland had done something that deserved an additional forfeit.

Behnaz however wasn’t finished and she then moved on and called out for Zoe Salmon who also wore a green bikini, although hers was a light shade she too had cleaned up nicely and the two blonde women stood either side of Lucy and myself as Behnaz started to talk to everyone.

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“During the Nations League the majority of teams are in groups of 3 and of course the top sides in those groups get promoted or in England’s case for lucky Lucy they qualify for the finals, however for teams that perform badly and finish 3^rd in the group they get relegated to a lower tier”

She continued explaining and I guessed where she was heading, soon I was proved correct when she confirmed that both the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland had been related from their respective groups and therefore would feature in a special relegation forfeit.

Both Zoe and Laura looked unsurprised by this development obviously the bikinis and being forced back onto the stage had led them to the conclusion that they wouldn’t be staying clean for all that long.

Behnaz led them over to where some chains with handcuffs stood dangling from the ceiling, she secured the first pair around the arms of Laura and then she ushered Zoe towards the next pair, I helped to secure her in place.

This left one more set of handcuffs Lucy and I looked at each other both believing that Behnaz was about to announce that just for the sake of it one of us would be joining Zoe and Laura however Behnaz it seems had other plans and she then began to talk about how Germany had under performed and incredibly for them had been relegated down to the second tier.

“Of course, this was a dark year for Germany compounded by the World Cup embarrassment” Behnaz then spoke about hearing rumours a German was in the crowd and much like earlier when I’d been in the audience everyone began to look around, eventually a spotlight shined on an attractive sleek blonde woman who was apparently called Anja.

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The tall blonde nervously stood up and did as she was instructed, making her way down out of the audience and onto the stage she smiled towards the camera I couldn’t tell if she had known about this prior to the show or if she’d been set up just like I had.

Behnaz quickly interviewed Anja before leading her over to the last remaining handcuffs she had now lost all pretence at being nervous as she allowed her hands to be raised above her head this action pulled her tank top up a little showing off some of her stomach above her black leather skirt.

Behnaz then revealed a few trolleys containing pies she informed us that she’d be messing up Zoe Salmon, Lucy would be messing up Anja as an England V Germany special occasion and I would get the chance to pie and slime Laura Whitmore.

A klaxon sounded and the three of us got quickly to work I grabbed a pie from the trolley and walked up to Laura I teased her for a few seconds as she told me to ‘just get one with it’ I did as she instructed and pushed the pie into her face spreading it around before I picked up the next pie.

I stepped towards the bikini clad presenter and pressed a pie against her left breast and massaged it around giving her nipple a cheeky pinch which caused Laura to cry out in surprise.

I then switched over and pied her other breast to even things up at this point I looked over at Lucy who was just slamming another pie into the face of Anja who’s face and upper body was covered with pie.

I turned back to the trolley and picked up two pies this time and approached Laura who had managed to shake some of the pie innards off her face and enabling her to see me just moments before I smashed another pie into her face and then pied her bare stomach again ensuring I wiped as much of the creamy mess around on her skin.

After this I decided to spin her around so her rear was facing the audience this time selecting a couple of blueberry pies, I made her lean forward as much as the cuffs which were still tied to the ceiling allowed and she stuck her bum out knowing where the next few pies would be heading.

The blueberry pie made a satisfactory mess as it exploded over her rear end and some of the innards splashed up Laura’s back, she cried out as it was obviously colder than she had anticipated, however this didn’t stop me from pieing her bum twice more before I decided to use my penultimate pie on the top of her head.

I brought it down crowning her sending some of the pie everywhere she now looked a yellow and blue mess in her somewhat skimpy formerly green bikini, Zoe had been suffering a similar treatment as well and she was almost unrecognisable.

Finally, all three of us ran out of pies and I thought the fun was over, however Behnaz announced a final stage firstly however she stepped forward with some scissors which I hadn’t seen where she got them from and pulled out Anja’s messy tank top, she slowly began snipping down the top freeing it revealing a black and white zebra patterned bra.

After this Behnaz pulled Anja’s skirt down to the ground along with the black tights leaving her in only her thong and bra. Behnaz instructed Lucy and myself to join her over on the other side of the stage as she pressed a big button on a podium which was clearly for show and not connected to anything.

Either way a klaxon sounded and then a shower of gunge started raining over the three skimpily clad women it was clearly quite cold as the three of them screamed and squirmed unable to avoid the mix of red and blue gunge that was covering them head to toe.

I enjoyed the view from the safe distance whilst Behnaz picked up what could only be referred to as a gunge gun when she started to pump gunge and sprayed a thick black sloppy substance over the girls primarily targeting Laura the cheeky blonde was trying to shout abuse at us when she took a direct hit from the gunge gun which to my own and the audience’s amusement.

The thick slimy rain finally subsided and drained away into the carefully designed stage floor and Behnaz, Lucy and myself approached them we all helped to release the three messy girls, I removed the cuffs from Laura and whilst Behnaz and Lucy were able to make hasty retreats having released Zoe and Anja I was not so lucky.

Laura grabbed hold of me and pulled me in for a messy hug, Zoe and Anja soon joined in and sandwiched me wiping as much gunge as possible from their bodies onto my face and body whilst they did this Behnaz had turned to the camera and was now closing out the show and thanking everyone for being great sports.

I heard little after this as Laura slipped on a gungey patch and went down to the floor, unfortunately for me she still had a hold of my arm and I quickly joined her in the mess she rolled over me ensuring now that my legs were also covered in the mess.

Eventually I managed to free myself and Laura and I joined Zoe and Anja in the showers where I once again had to clean myself off from the gunge, wondering what lay ahead in my near future.

I knew work on Monday could potentially be quite awkward seeing as the senior partners looked down on so called ‘trashy TV’ shows such as CSWL and remembering what someone had previously said about bringing the company into disrepute…

—

I wish I could say I’d be able to write these more frequently but with work and life etc I tend to only get one day a week at most to write, possibly not my most coherent story after having a week of not viewing/writing it part way through.

However I plan to continue occasionally with Nikki’s story when I get the chance, because I want to do something different and hopefully someone will enjoy them Image may be NSFW.
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Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

I have decided to split this story up into 3 parts so each match will have a part each.

This story contains nudity.

Welcome to this derby day special of CSWL with me your host Jacqui Oatley.

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Jacqui is wearing the same purple dress she had on in the preview show, black high-heeled shoes and her blonde hair is being worn in a bob.

The first game that was on was the West London Derby between Chelsea and Fulham.

So shall we bring out our representative’s first up we have the home team’s representative and that is actress Isla Fisher.

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Isla is wearing a grey mini dress, grey sandal high-heeled shoes, and her long ginger hair is being worn down.

Isla your team won but there were a few indiscretions, so shall we move onto them shall we, first up is the yellow cards and Chelsea had 2 of these so that means 2 custard pies for you.

Jacqui then picks up 2 custard pies and gives Isla a pie sandwich coating her face and her ginger hair is yellow custard and it drips down onto her dress.

Next up we shall move onto the off sides and Chelsea had 0 so that means we shall move on and next up is fouls Chelsea committed 8 so that means 2 spins of the wheel for Isla.

Isla then spins the wheel for the first time and it lands on ‘Rice Pudding Dip’.

A bucket of rice pudding is then bought out, and Isla is instructed to dip her face into it so it covers all over head and a lot of her hair as well.

Once Isla is coated in the rice pudding, she moves over to the wheel for her final spin of the wheel.

Isal then spins the wheel for the final time and it lands on an old favourite ‘Knickerbocker Glory’.

A bucket is of the dessert is bought out and Jacqui pulls up Isla’s dress to reveal a grey thong, before pouring the bucket of dessert inside of her thong and it goes all over Isla’s private area’s and starts to stream down Isla’s legs and start to pool all over the floor ruining Isla’s shoes as well.

now let’s move onto the goals now shall we and as Chelsea conceded 0 then Isla that is all of your forfeits done.

Now let’s bring on the Fulham representative shall we and that is Newsreader Emily Maitlis.

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Emily is wearing a white mini dress, white high-heeled shoes and her blonde hair is being worn into a bob.

Emily a 2-0 defeat for you team but not to bad in the circumstances considering Chelsea are in top 3 and Fulham are at the bottom.

No it wasn’t but I will take my punishments that are incoming albeit reluctantly.

Ok first up we have the yellow cards, Fulham only had the 1 so that means custard pie.

Jacqui picks up the custard pie and plants it into Emily’s face coating her head and facial features in creamy custard.

Now let’s move onto the off sides shall we and Fulham had 1 of these so that means 1 spin of the forfeit wheel.

Emily then spins the wheel and it land’s on ‘Cream Bath’.

Emily is then instructed to enter the bath where she has to submerge herself under the cream for 10 minutes, Emily then does this and coats her whole body in a white creamy mess matting hr hair and ruining Emily’s dress.

Now that forfeit is over it is time to move onto the forfeits for fouls and Fulham conceded 17 that means a massive 4 spins of the forfeit wheel.

Emily then spins the wheel for the first time and it lands on ‘Slimy Shower’.

Emily is then lead over to a shower cubicle, where there is some horrible Nickelodeon green slime waiting for her.

Emily is now inside of the shower cubicle and Jacqui then pulls the nozzle to release all of the slime all over Emily, it coats her all over turning her hair and dress into a slimy green mess.

Once the slime has finished Emily is led out of the tank and over to the wheel for her 2nd spin of the forfeit wheel.

Emily then spins the wheel and it lands on strip x1.

Jacqui then instructs Emily to remove her dress, Emily then reluctantly does remove her dress to reveal a white skimpy bra and white bra combination, Jacqui then asks Emily to do a twirl so everyone can see her, and reveals her lovely bum to the audience.

Emily then makes her way over to the forfeit wheel again for her 2nd spin.

This time it lands on ‘Human Sundae’.

Jacqui brings out various buckets that you would associate with a human sundae, so first Jacqui dumps a bucket of Neapolitan Ice-cream all over Emily, Emily then shivers once the ice-cream hits her, once the bucket is emptied Jacqui picks up the next bucket which contains strawberries and cream, Jacqui this time dumps this bucket inside an underwear clad Emily firstly pouring the bucket inside of her bra, coating her tits, in the sloppy mess, before opening up Emily’s thong and dumping the rest of the bucket inside of it coating Emily’s vagina and it makes her squeal and moan with the substance covering her in those areas.

The 3rd bucket contains some custard, Jacqui then picks up the bucket and starts pouring the bucket over Emily’s legs, turning them yellow before moving the bucket upwards and pours the rest of the bucket down Emily’s back.

The Final bucket that Jacqui picks up contains 100’s and 1000’s, Jacqui dumps the little coloured flakes all over Emily.

Emily is then led over to the forfeit wheel again for the 3rd time and this time it lands on ‘Trifle Sit’.

A chair is then bought over with a trifle on it, then Jacqui pushes Emily into the sit making her sit into the trifle,

The trifle then coats Emily’s bum in the trifle in yellow custard, strawberries, chocolate flakes.

Emily then spins the wheel for the Final time and it lands on strip x2.

Emily is totally and utterly shocked by this as it will leave her completely naked apart from her high-heeled shoes.

Emily tries to plead this but it will be to no avail as Jacqui will just make her do it anyway.

Emily then reluctantly removes her bra before using her right hand to cover her tits.

Before Emily uses her left hand and tries to wriggle out of her destroyed thong.

Emily is now covering her modesty, but Jacqui makes Emily remove her hands so that her whole body can be shown to the audience, Emily is now fuming at this and vows to get revenge on Jacqui later in the show.

Fulham also had 20% less possession than Chelsea so 10 pies we be slammed into Emily all over her body, her hair and face is the first targets where Jacqui slams the pies into her face and crowns Emily by planting a pie on the top of her head, the rest of the 7 pies are slammed into 1 each of Emily’s tits, before one is slammed into her shaved muff, before Jacqui goes round the back of Emily and plants one into her bum, before the final 3 pies are rubbed into Emily’s legs one pie for each leg and then finally the final pie is slammed into her torso and stomach.

Emily is now led over the gunge tank to carry out the forfeit for the first goal conceded.

Emily is now sat in the tank waiting to be covered in blue gunge that will represent Chelsea’s home kit as they were the winning team.

Jacqui then pulls the lever to release the gunge all over a naked hapless Emily, and the gunge then domes all over her coating the whole of Emily’s body in a blue sticky gungey mess.

Emily is then led out of the tank and over to the pillories where her 2nd goal forfeit will take place.

Emily is now locked into the pillories where she will have various gunge buckets thrown all over her, these gunge buckets are red, blue, yellow, green, orange, white, brown, black, gold and silver, Jacqui then throws them all over Emily’s body coating her in a rainbow coloured mess, Emily is now also unrecognisable, Emily is now released from the pillories and Jacqui wraps up this part of the show.

Thank you for joining us in part 1 of this Derby Day special of CSWL, after the break we will be joined by actress and Arsenal fan Charlize Theron and Singer and Tottenham fan Cher Lloyd.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

This story contains nudity.

Welcome back to the 2nd part of this derby day special with me Jacqui Oatley

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Jacqui is wearing the same dress and high-heeled shoes and her hair styled the same as it was like in the first part of the show.

Let’s welcome our first guest from the 2nd match of the day shall we and that is Charlize Theron.

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Charlize is wearing a white bra, white mini skirt and white stiletto high-heeled shoes.

Welcome back Charlize a good result for you today but a game that didn’t go without plenty of incidents, with both teams winning and scoring penalties, Tottenham players scoring and inciting the crowd and other players of Arsenal, causing a brawl, a potential dive from a spurs player to win their penalty and a Tottenham player getting sent off.

Yes Jacqui certainly an action packed game full of incident, glad we managed to pick up the 3 points but i do know that I won’t be getting away Scott free so bring it on.

First up then will be the yellow cards, Arsenal had 3 of these so that means 3 custard pies for Charlize here, Jacqui first up gives Charlize a pie sandwich slamming the 2 pies either side of her face coating it in cream, before picking up a 3rd pie and planting this one on the top of Charlize’s head.

Now let’s move onto the off sides now shall we and Arsenal had 5 so that means 1 spin of the forfeit wheel.

Charlize spins the wheel and it lands on ‘Tomato Soup Bath’.

Charlize gingerly walks up to the bath before entering the bath, and then submerging herself underneath it for 1o seconds, coating her hair, face, and her clothes in a blood-red colour.

Once this forfeit is complete Charlize is led over to the wheel again, but before she spins it Jacqui announces it is for fouls committed, Arsenal conceded 15 of these so this means another 3 further spins of the wheel.

First up Charlize Theron spins the wheel and it lands on ‘Savoury Shower’.

Charlize is led over to the shower, where there will be some savoury foods getting dumped all over Charlize, first up, is some coleslaw, the white and orange coleslaw is dumped all over Charlize coating her from head to toe in it, next up is some gravy, and again Jacqui pulls the mechanism to release the gravy all over Charlize turning her hair and clothes into a dark brown congealed mess.

Charlize is led out of the shower cubicle and over to the forfeit wheel again.

Charlize spins the wheel for the 2nd time and this time it lands on strip x3

This will eave Charlize completely starkers, and isn’t happy about it, but firstly she removes her skirt leaving her in her bra and a white thong to go with the bra she is wearing.

Jacqui makes Charlize do a twirl so that she reveals her pert bum to the audience before Jacqui then asks her to remove her bra, Charlize does this really slowly and uses her right hand to cover her tits up so that she doesn’t reveal them.

Once the bra is gone Jacqui asks Charlize to remove her thong she slowly wriggles out of it and uses her left hand to cover up her slightly hairy muff that is well-trimmed.

But like Emily in the first part of the show Jacqui makes Charlize remove her hands so that everyone can see all of her body in all of its glory.

Charlize is then led over to the wheel for her final spin.

The wheel then lands on ‘Stew Surprise’.

There is then a large stew bought out which has beef stock in it, gravy, and various vegetables that are potatoes, carrots, parsnips, swedes, and also dumplings which isn’t vegetables of course and followed by some beef.

Jacqui then picks up the large stew dish, before dispensing it all over Charlize, it covers Charlize from head to toe in the thick disgusting stew, turning her already naked body into a dark congealed mess.

Once the stew has been all dispensed over Charlize she is then led over to the gunge tank for the first goal forfeit.

Once in the tank and sat down Jacqui then dispenses the white gunge of Tottenham’s home kit over a helpless Charlize.

The gunge then domes all over Charlize coating her from head to toe in white sticky gunge.

Once the gunge has subsided Charlize is led out of the tank and over to the pillories for the final goal forfeit.

Charlize is now locked in the pillories and this time will have to endure 3 of the worse buckets that we have on CSWL in the mud, pig slop and manure, Jacqui picks up the mud and launches it all over Charlize, before moving onto the pig slop and again Jacqui just launches it covering Charlize from head to toe in the pig slop, before finally picking up the final bucket of manure, Jacqui throws it all over Charlize and she then gags that it is on her and covering her in a dark brown smelly substance.

Charlize is then released from the pillories and that is her forfeits done so let’s bring out the Tottenham representative shall we.

And that person is singer Cher Lloyd.

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Cher is wearing a rainbow coloured mini dress in a tutu-style, black Nike trainers and her dark hair is being worn down and curly.

Cher, Cher, Cher what went wrong out there today, well Jacqui we started off really slowly conceded an absolutely ridiculous penalty, then managed to get back into the match even taking the lead before half time, then after half time we made to many mistakes to give Arsenal the goals and the win and consigning me to do all my forfeits in the nude which I am not to pleased about.

Well yes as you said Tottenham did infact concede 4 goals so you do have to do the forfeits naked so get your kit off.

Cher slowly removes her small dress to reveal a black skimpy bra and a black thong under the dress, but before she removes her underwear she is asked to do a twirl for the audience like the rest of them had to do.

She then did slowly remove her bra from her body, but didn’t bother covering up her tits as it would be no use anyway as Jacqui would just make her do so anyway, before Cher turned her attention to removing her black thong, and again she just removed it and didn’t bother covering up as she knew again it would be in vain to do so.

She then stood in front of the audience butt naked and for all the audience to see, now we shall move onto the forfeits said Jacqui.

First up we shall do the yellow cards, Tottenham like Arsenal had 3 so Jacqui picks up 2 then gives Cher a pie sandwich coating her face and her dark hair in pie, before moving onto the 3rd pie which Jacqui slaps on the top of Cher’s head, crowning the top of her head.

Cher as you know Tottenham had a player sent off so for that we have 2 Strawberry pies for you to endure, Jacqui picks up the firs pie and slams it into Cher’s crotch while making her moan it has gone around her sensitive areas.

Jacqui then picks up the 2nd pie and slams it into Cher’s backside turning it into a strawberry mess, once the card forfeits are out the way it is time to move onto the off sides.

Tottenham accumulated 2 off sides so that means 1 spin of the forfeit wheel.

Cher then spins the forfeit wheel and it lands on ‘Semolina Slide’.

Cher is then led up a slide where she has to slide into a pool of Semolina.

Once at the top Cher slides into it and lands head first into the pool of semolina covering the whole of her naked body in white semolina.

That forfeit is now out-of-the-way it is now time to spin the wheel for fouls, Tottenham amassed 17 fouls so that means it will be 4 spins of the forfeit wheel Cher.

Cher then spins the wheel and it land’s on ‘Chocolate Bucket’.

A bucket is then brought out and it is filled to the brim with milk chocolate.

Cher then has to dip her head into the bucket for 10 seconds, she does this and her face and hair is now covered in a brown mess mating her hair in the process.

Once done Cher is led over to the wheel to spin the wheel for the 2nd time.

Cher does the spin and this time the wheel lands on ‘Custard Shower’.

Cher is led over to the shower cubicle and then Jacqui pulls the nozzle on the side of the shower to release the contents all over Cher.

Once the custard shower has ended Cher is led out of the shower cubicle and over to the wheel for her 3rd spin of the wheel.

And this time the wheel lands on ‘Slimy Shakes’.

A variety of shakes have been brought out, and then is upended onto her head, we have strawberry shake, chocolate shake, banana shake, vanilla shake, toffee shake, and all these different shakes, streak down Cher turning her into a multi-coloured cold mess.

Cher then makes her way over to the forfeit wheel for the final time and then spins it for the final time.

And the wheel lands on ‘Strawberries and Cream’.

The 1 bucket of cream is bought out followed by a bucket mashed up Strawberries.

Jacqui then makes Cher put her trainer clad feet into the ream ruining her trainers in the process, and then makes her do the same with the strawberries as well turning her white creamy fit into pink colour and ruining her trainers further.

Now we will move onto the possession and as Tottenham had 19% less possession that means we will be kind and only cover Cher in 9 different pies, and these are toffee, black forest gateaux, chocolate, orange, strawberry, lime, apricot, and banana, and then Jacqui splats them all over Cher’s body making her an unrecognisable mess.

Now with the pies out-of-the-way it is onto the first goal forfeit and of course it is the gunge tank.

And of course we have the red of Arsenal waiting to gunge lovely but a very messy Cher over here.

Once Cher is inside Jacqui pulls the lever releasing the red gunge all over Cher it hits every inch of her body and doesn’t leave any bits missed so Cher is now just a unrecognisable mess.

Once the gunge subsides Cher is led over to the pillories for her 2nd goal forfeit and then she is locked in before there is various gunge buckets awaiting pour Cher, the colour of the buckets are red, blue, yellow, green, orange, gold, silver brown, grey and black, Jacqui then 1 by 1 pours all of the gunge buckets over Cher, leaving her completely covered and now just full of rainbow colours.

There is 1 final bucket that is bought out and it is mud, Jacqui then just dispenses the bucket all over Cher turning her a dark brown colour and a very sticky mess as well in the process.

Once done Jacqui then releases Cher from the pillories and then over to the bath where her next not very nice awaits for her and that is the very disgusting pig slop.

Cher gingerly makes her way into the bath, and like any other bath forfeits she still has to submerge her self under it for 10 seconds.

Cher is absolutely revolted by this but she knows that she has to do it and her torture is nearly over as she only has 1 more forfeit left to pay after this one, but once done Cher exits the bath.

And then moves onto the forfeit for 4 goals and that is the dunk tank.

The dunk tank today is filled up with disgusting manure.

Cher makes her way to the top of the dunk tank before Jacqui pulls the lever and Cher drops into the vat of manure, Cher nearly is sick at this at the sheer amount of manure she is covered in the tank, and wants to get out as quickly as possible.

Jacqui is now wrapping up the 2nd part of the show, thank you to my guests from the north London side of Arsenal in Charlize Theron and a special thank you to Cher Lloyd for taking all the torture I put her through, join me in part 3 where I will be joined by the Merseyside representative’s

Since there’s a demand for people to use this function, I figured I’d point out to those unsure how to add one of these:

If you’re using the new editor, simply go to visual mode and click the button directly beneath the visual mode tab, next to the spell check. Or, in HTML mode, click on the button that says “more”.

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If you prefer something more retro, go below the “add location” button, between the hyperlink and spellcheck buttons.

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If you’re just sooooooo technologically advanced you post through the mobile app, you’ve got a slightly tricker time of it. Above the on-screen keyboard, you should have buttons for text formatting. Scroll through those and you’ll find the button. I’ve drawn a little box around it.

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I hope that’s helpful!

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

This story contains nudity.

Welcome to the 3rd part of this derby day special of CSWL we are now onto our final game the Merseyside Derby, with me your host Jacqui Oatley.

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Jacqui is wearing the same dress she has had in the first 2 parts, black high-heeled shoes, and her blonde hair is being worn in a bob like normal.

First up let’s meet the lady representing the home team shall we.

It is american actress, Angelina Jolie.

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Angelina is wearing a beige mini dress, and matching high-heeled shoes and her dark hair is being worn in a pony tail but is long enough to come down to her shoulders.

Angelina a clean sheet and a last gasp winner with basically the last kick off the game you must be happy.

Yes Jacqui I am minimal mess for me I know I will still get some but it isn’t as bad as it could have been.

So let’s get onto it now shall we firs up is the yellow cards.

Liverpool accumulated 3 yellow cards so that means 3 pies for Angelina.

Jacqui gives Angelina a pie sandwich, coating her face and hair in custard and cream pie, ruining her facial features.

Jacqui then plants the 3rd pie square onto Angelina’s head coating the top of her head in pie.

Now we will move onto off sides and Liverpool only ha the 1 here so it is 1 spin of the wheel.

Angelina spins the wheel and it land’s on ‘Bean Bath’.

Angelina slowly walks over to the bath and it is filled to the brim with Baked Beans.

Angelina has to then submerge herself under the beans for 10 seconds like everyone has had to do.

Once Angelina has done this she re-emerges looking an orange mess and covered in beans that has ruined her dress, and has seeped inside of it as well.

Now that forfeit is over it is time to move onto fouls.

Liverpool committed 12 fouls so that means 3 more spins of the forfeit wheel for Angelina.

Angelina spins the wheel for the first time and this time it lands on ‘Mushy Peas Shoes’.

Jacqui then instructs Angelina to take her shoes off, before pouring some mushy peas into her shoes with a ladle from a bucket of mushy peas has been brought in.

Jacqui then makes sure she hasn’t missed any part of the shoes as well making sure she coats the out of the shoes as well, totally destroying them in the process.

Angelina then moves onto her 2nd spin of the wheel, this time it lands on ‘Nacho Cheese Shower’.

Angelina is then instructed to get into the shower before Jacqui releases the nozzle to coat Angelina in bright yellow nacho cheese slop, that ruins her dress even more turning it a yellow colour.

Once the Nacho cheese has finished Angelina is then released from the shower cubicle and over to the wheel for her final spin.

Angelina then spins the wheel for the final time and it lands on ‘Gunge Buckets’.

We have same colours as before in red, blue, green, yellow, orange, gold, silver, brown, grey and black.

Jacqui makes sure she covers Angelina all over targeting the bits that hasn’t been covered so her back, her legs and her front, Jacqui even opens up Angelina’s dress and pours some of the gunge in their coating her bra and knickers and making sure some goes over her tits as well.

And as Liverpool conceded 0 goals that is all you forfeits done Angelina, now let’s bring over our Everton representative shall we.

And that is former Atomic Kitten singer and Everton fan Liz McLarnon.

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Liz is wearing a white mini dress, with orange down the side, her long blonde hair is curled and she is wearing gold high-heeled shoes.

Liz you must be gutted with that losing the derby with virtually the last kick off the game, yes I am truly gutted, but relieved at the same time as I know what has happened with previous 0-0 results in CSWL so least I won’t have to worry about stripping naked and be tied to an overhead beam and covered in nasty mess, but I know I will be covered in mess just not as bad, and I hope I will still be able to keep my clothes on.

Thank you Liz now lets move onto forfeits for yellow cars shall we.

Everton amassed 2 yellow cars so that means 2 pies for lovely Liz here.

Jacqui then plants the pies either side of Liz given her a pie sandwich coating her luscious blonde hair in creamy pie.

Once this forfeit is out the way and we shall move onto off sides, Everton had 3 so that means 1 spin of the forfeit wheel.

Liz then spins the forfeit wheel and it land’s on ‘Gunge Bucket’s’

And like Angelina had we have the same colours as before in red, blue, green, yellow, orange, gold, silver, brown, grey and black.

Jacqui does pour the buckets all over Liz and as she is hardly messy only having a pie sandwich so far, Jacqui makes sure she doesn’t miss any bits on Liz leaving her a rainbow coloured mess, totally destroying her dress in the process as well and also Liz’s shoes to boot.

Now that forfeit is out-of-the-way it is onto fouls committed and Everton conceded 7 fouls so that means only once again it is only 1 spin of the wheel.

This time it lands on ‘Honey Bath’.

Liz gingerly steps into the bath and then submerges herself underneath for 10 seconds like the rest of them have done, once Liz has re-surfaced she exits the bath to be greeted by a sack of feathers that looks like she has been tarred and feathered.

Liz is making her way over to the gunge tank now ready to be covered in red gunge to represent Liverpool’s home kit, for the one goal forfeit.

Now Liz is sat in the tank, then Jacqui pulls the lever to release all of the red gunge all over a helpless Liz it domes all over her covering her in red sloppy gunge, once the gunge stops, Liz exits the tank.

Then before Jacqui is allowed to wrap up the show, all the ladies surround her in a circle with some gunge buckets that contain red, blue, yellow, green, orange, gold, silver, brown, grey and black gunge, they each throw the gunge over Jacqui coating he from head to toe in slimy gunge.

All of the ladies then march Jacqui over to the pillories, start to strip a helpless Jacqui of her clothes by ripping them cutting them with scissors, leaving the sports presenter naked, they then grab some water buckets and then throw them over Jacqui to reveal her naked body to the audience, but so they can get a better view of her, they release her from the pillories and lift her up so everyone can see her boobs and her vagina and then turn her around to show of her ass to the audience as well, Jacqui is fuming by this development.

The ladies then lock her back into the pillories and then throw 3 buckets over Jacqui these are the mud, pig slop and manure.

Once the buckets are dispensed of they release Jacqui from the pillories and then frog march her over to the mud bath before throwing Jacqui in it, she goes under but then is immediately frog matched to the gunge tank now where they pull the lever and pig slop in gulfs Jacqui doming all over her and covering her head to toe in pig slop.

The then march Jacqui over to the dunk tank where the manure is inside of it make her climb up before pulling the lever and dispensing Jacqui into the disgusting manure below, Jacqui then gags and is almost sick at the sheer smell that is engulfing her, she quickly eits the tank before wrapping up the show.

Jacqui then wraps up the show, thank you for joining me a humiliated and naked Jacqui Oatley  and the 6 ladies that joined me tonight and represented there teams tonight, nd join us for a midweek special of CSWL where there is another big game between 2 of the top 6 where Manchester United meet Arsenal so join us for that.

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

Welcome to this midweek episode of CSWL with me your host for this edition Rebecca Williams and our featured match is between Manchester United and Arsenal.

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Rebecca is wearing an orange top, black leather mini skirt and her blonde hair is being worn down.

We know the teams so shall we now meet the ladies says Rebecca.

First up representing Manchester United is Britosh Olympian in Taekwondo Jade Jones.

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Jade is wearing a sparkly gold mini dress white strappy high-heeled shoes and her long hair is being worn down and is curly.

So Jade this is your first time on CSWL have you watched the show before and why did you come on.

Well Rebecca I have watched the show before and I do know what it does entail, and I hope we don’t concede 3 or more goals but we are the home team so that shouldn’t happen, and the reason I cam here is because a fellow Olympian in Laura Kenny has appeared on this show and got highly embarrassed on this show and she is a goo friend of mine and it was highly amusing seeing it so she wanted to see me on this show to see how I can do.

Well Thank you for that Jade now let’s meet the Arsenal representative shall we.

And that is solo artist Dido.

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Dido is wearing a black mini dress, with white and yellow patterns on it, she is also wearing white high-heeled shoes with black on the end of it, and her blonde hair is short.

So Dido what brings you here to CSWL and you was on the previous incarnation so what brings you back, well Rebecca we are unbeaten in 19 games under our new manager and Manchester United aren’t in the greatest form recently so I felt it was the best time to come on and hopefully get no mess.

Thank you for that Dido, now let’s talk about the forfeits shall we.

Of course the wheel is back, for fouls, cards, possession and off sides.

And now for the goal forfeits.

For 1 goal it is a trip to the gunge tank.

For 2 goals it is a trip to the pillories.

For 3 goals it is the bath and all forfeits will be done in your underwear.

Both ladies knew this having seen previous episodes or being on it before.

For 4 goals it is a trip to the dunk tank and all forfeits will be done naked, again both ladies are not surprised by this.

And also my first time presenting so it is nailed on something is going to happen to me a dejected Rebecca announces.

So join me and my 2 guests in the results show to see what happens

Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

This story follows on from https://tellygunge.wordpress.com/2018/12/02/the-ultimate-xmas-cswl-set-up/

As I wrote this, I imagined the quips that someone like Bruce Forsyth would come out with, so apologies for the cheesinessImage may be NSFW.
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“My name is Sarah-Jane Mee and welcome to the Ultimate Xmas CSWL. Joining me as my assistant host will be the appropriately dressed Carla Brown who will be responsible for adding up the points and dishing out any forfeits.”

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“Hi Carla. Are you looking forward to being our CSWL referee?”

“Hi Sarah-Jane. Yes, I’ve brought my calculator with me, so I can make sure I get the scores correct. However the part I am looking forward to the most is the chance to get some celebrities messy!”

“I am sure you will get your wish Carla!”

Sarah-Jane turns to the camera “The Xmas CSWL won’t officially start until 21st December, but over the next week, we will be announcing the 20 nominated celebrities and which of the 20 Premiership teams they have been paired with. The pairing has been done alphabetically by nominees first name and football team name. Now, lets announce the first four of our celebrities and see which team they have been allocated.”

Anna Kendrick (Arsenal), Barbara Dunkelman (Bournemouth), Bianca Westwood (Brighton) and Camille Hyde (Burnley)

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33 year old actress Anna needs little introduction as she has starred in many films including ‘The Accountant’ and ‘Mike and Dave need wedding dates’. She may need the help of an accountant to check that the scores have been added up correctly!

Barbara is from Montreal and is an actress and internet personality. The 29 year olds latest film role was in ‘Blood Fest’. I’m not sure if she got messy in that film, but she is certainly hoping that she will stay clean in CSWL.

Sports presenter Bianca is no stranger to CSWL having already appeared in numerous episodes. The feisty brunette can often be found reporting on football games, although she will be taking a keen interest in Brighton’s results over the festive period.

American Camille is best known for her role as Shelby Watkins on the Power Rangers Dino Charge programme. The 25 year old is from Washington DC and she will be hoping that Burnley get a power surge in their games, to prevent her from getting messy.

Sarah-Jane turns to Carla “There’s certainly a mix of different celebrities in those 4. I think Anna will be happy she has been paired with 4th placed Arsenal, but Camille will be despairing a little with her team Burnley not showing great form and currently in 19th position.”

Carla “Without further ado, lets announce our next 4 competitors”

Emilia Clarke (Cardiff), Emma Watson (Chelsea), Iskra Lawrence (Crystal Palace) and Jenna Coleman (Everton)

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Games of Throne star Emilia is from London. The 32 year old actress is used to having pet dragons to protect her, but can they save her from the gunge?

Emma is best known for starring in the Harry Potter film series. The 28 year old is English, but was actually born in Paris. Will she ask Harry to use his magic to protect Emma from the mess?

Iskra is a 29 year old model from Wolverhampton. The blonde’s name means ‘spark’ in Croatian and Polish. I am sure she is praying for Crystal Palace to spark into action.

Ex-Doctor Who assistant Jenna needs little introduction. The 32 year old will hope that the Tardis can transport her away very quickly, if her team comes last in any of the rounds.

Sarah-Jane starts to talk “Another mix of varied celebrities there. I think Emilia and Iskra will be worried the most after being paired with Cardiff (current place: 16th) and Crystal Palace (current place: 14th) respectively.”

Carla agreed “Yes, I wouldn’t like to be in their shoes. Ha Ha!”

Sarah-Jane turns to the camera “That’s it for Part 1 of Meet the Contestants. Tune in again in a few days time when we will announce the next batch of contestants in Part 2. Until then, bye!”