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Kate Garraway, Charlotte Hawkins and Laura Tobin appear on the stage to introduce this specially arranged CSWL show. All were wearing either smart dresses or smart top / skirt combinations.
Kate: “Thank you for joining us, and we have a great show for you tonight.”
Charlotte: “Yes, we will be featuring Susanna Reid’s Crystal Palace team against Bianca Westwood’s West Ham team.”
Laura: “We will also be announcing the winner of the prediction competition, which thank goodness isn’t me, Kate or Charlotte!”
Kate: “That’s right Laura. We were all concerned when the three of us were nominated by viewers, and it caused quite a nervous time watching the game to see if one of us would be the ‘winner’.”
Charlotte: “There was a 37% chance that it would be one of us three, but luckily another lady ‘won’ and we will reveal who that is a little later on.”
Laura: “All I will say is that she is perhaps the oldest lady to appear on a CSWL show at 61 years old.”
Laura smiled in Kate’s direction “That’s even older than you Kate!”
Kate: “You cheeky little thing!”
Charlotte: “Haha. Let’s meet our two contestants. It’s Bianca Westwood and Susanna Reid”
The two brunettes make their way onto the stage to join the 3 Breakfast tv presenters. Bianca has chosen to wear a white top, sexy black shorts and black high heel shoes, while Susanna wore a green dress and sparkly high heel shoes.
Kate: “Welcome both, and what an exciting match we have just watched. Probably not that exciting for you Bianca, eh?”
Bianca looks a little solemn “I guess you could say that. I can’t believe my team didn’t win. They had more possession and more shots than Palace, so they deserved to win.”
Susanna smiled “As you know Bianca, the game is all about goals, and my Palace team scored more than yours!”
Laura: “Let’s show the final score on the big screen above us”
Charlotte: “So that means 2 goal forfeits for Bianca and 1 for Susanna.”
Kate: “Let’s not forget the spins of the forfeit wheel. There were no sendings offs, no bookings, but there were a total of 5 bookings. 3 for West Ham and 2 for Palace, so 3 spins for Bianca and 2 for Susanna!”
Laura: “Let’s do Susanna first. Would you care to take the first spin of the wheel.”
Grudgingly Susanna took the couple of steps needed to stand next to the wheel and gave it a generous spin. All eyes were watching as the wheel slowed down and stopped on a segment called ‘Rice Pudding Surprise’
Susanna: “Huh, What does that mean?”
Charlotte briefly walked off stage before returning with an opened carton of rice pudding and motioned for Susanna to hitch up her dress. Susanna did so, revealing her white knickers, and Charlotte pulled the top of her knicker elastic out from her body and poured the contents of the carton inside. Susanna gasped as the milky pudding sloshed into her knickers and gave her a strange sensation as it flowed around her most sensitive areas.
With rice pudding escaping from the bottom of her knickers and streaming down her legs, Susanna pulled her dress downwards again.
Kate: “One more spin to go!”
Susanna glared back at her co-host “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
Kate: “A little bit! Haha!”
The 48 year old spun the wheel again and watched it as it came to a standstill on a segment titled ‘Porridge Bottom’
Laura quickly ran off stage and returned with a bowl of sticky porridge “Can you hitch your dress up again please?”
Susanna: “What, again?”
Laura: “Yes please”
Susanna grunted as she obeyed the instruction to show her rice pudding filled knickers. Laura promptly pulled the elastic of her knickers from her bottom and poured the porridge inside. Susanna squealed as she felt the lumpy breakfast meal coat her sexy bottom. The presenters started to giggle as Susanna widened her eyes in shock as she felt her knickers starting to slip downwards. The rice pudding and porridge had proved enough for her knickers to not want to remain in their usual place, and Susanna had to move very quickly to grab onto her knickers to prevent her most sensitive areas being revealed on national TV. Susanna proceeded to pull down her dress to give her added protection.
Charlotte: “You will be glad to know that’s your spins out of the way. Now we just have the small matter of your first goal forfeit.”
Laura: “Yes, and it’s a good old fashioned custard pieing. Luckily, Bianca and her fundraising team made lots of extra cakes and pies, and we have bought them!”
Susanna: “Oh great!”
Charlotte, Laura and Kate picked up two custard pies each and surrounded their presenter colleague. Charlotte was first and splatted her pies into Susanna’s face. Laura upturned one of her pies into the brunettes head and slapped the other one against her bottom. Finally, Kate smushed her pies into Susanna’s crotch and cleavage.
With custard and cream dripping all over her, Susanna had been well and truly pied. She was given a towel and allowed to go and get cleaned up. Bianca gulped as she knew she was next and Charlotte prompted her to walk to the forfeit wheel.
Charlotte: “Before we get to your two goal forfeits, you need to spin the wheel 3 times for the 3 bookings your team received.”
The 47 year old took a first spin and watched the wheel stop on a segment called ‘Strip 2 articles of clothing’
Bianca: “What!”
Kate: “Its pretty simple Bianca, all you need to take off your top and those lovely shorts.”
Bianca swore under her breath as she started to strip. The audience clapped and cheered as this left the brunette in a skimpy black bra, black knickers and black high heel shoes.
Laura: “Fingers crosses that you don’t get that same forefeit again as you will be naked as the day you were born! Haha!”
Sarcastically, Bianca replied “Thanks for that Laura”
The wheel was spun again and landed on ‘Forever Blowing Bubbles’.
A large bath was wheeled on and it could be seen that there were bath bubbles on the top of the surface and spilling over the top of the bath.
Charlotte: “This is quite apt for you Bianca, as I believe spectators blow bubbles at every West Ham home game.”
Bianca: “Yes, that’s right.”
Before Bianca knew what was going on, the three presenters grabbed hold of her and lifted her off the ground. They carried her the few steps to the bath and chucked her in. With a scream, Bianca landed with an almighty splash into the bath, and found that there was lukewarm water underneath all the bubbles. The underwear-clad brunette went right under the surface before quickly sitting up.
Her hair was soaked through and now slicked back on her head. Kate had a small bottle of bubbles, dipped in her bubble blower, brought it to her mouth and blew some bubbles into Bianca’s face.
Charlotte: “Tell you what Bianca, you stay in the bath for now and I’ll spin the wheel for the third and last time for you.”
The wheel was duly spun, and landed on a segment titled ‘Presenter Surprise’
A puzzled Kate put her hands on her hips “Hey, what does that mean?”
Charlotte and Laura equally had puzzled looks as a freshly showered and clean clothed Susanna walked onto the stage.
Susanna: “Unlucky ladies as it means you will join our prediction winner in the final part of the show. Come with me please”
The threesome reluctantly followed Susanna to an area where there was a large jail-like structure with metal bars for walls. The door was opened, and Charlotte, Kate and Laura were ushered inside before the door was locked behind them.
Susanna rubbed her hands “See you a bit later on, but I had better finish Bianca off!”
By this time, a drenched Bianca had climbed out of the bath and faced her opponent.
Susanna: “Time for your first goal forfeit, and I get to use some of those scrummy custard pies you have made.”
Bianca braced herself as she watched a trolley being brought on which was laden with creamy custard pies. She couldn’t believe that the very pies she had helped to make, were now going to be used on her.
Susanna wasted no time and began to plaster her opponent from head to foot with pies, taking great delight in smushing three pies into her face.
Susanna: “And now for your second goal forfeit, please go into the gunge tank.”
A custardy Bianca stepped inside and sat down on the plastic chair inside the tank. She peered out and saw Susanna preparing to pull the lever at the side. The brunette gave the lever a good yank which released the contents of the overhead compartment all over the hapless sports presenter. Bianca squealed as she was deluged with think claret gunge, and it quickly streamed all over her body covering every inch of her body.
Susanna rubbed her hands with glee before facing the camera “We are approaching the end of the show, so let’s bring on the winner of the prediction competition – it’s none other than Anneka Rice!”
A hesitant-looking Anneka walked on and was promptly shown the door of the jail, before it was opened and Anneka was shoved in, to join Charlotte, Kate and Laura.
Susanna: “Ladies, you are all probably thinking what is going to happen. Let me put you out of your misery…..”
A large wall partition behind the jail parted, to reveal a large crane which was attached to the top of the jail. It suddenly jerked into life and easily raised the jail and the 4 ladies off the ground and moved them to an area of the stage where there was a large rectangular tank. The crane stopped moving just as the jail was directly over the tank. The floor of the jail suddenly gave way, and dropped the squealing ladies into the tank below. They all went splat into the sticky molasses which had been used to fill the tank.
Lots of disgusted looks could be seen from the audience as the molasses coated ladies clambered out of the tank, to find they had been completely covered in the gloopy substance. Charlotte, Kate and Anneka were blonde no more, as their hair had turned into a black sticky mess.
Their ordeal wasn’t over as an overhead compartment released its contents of fluffy feathers over the four ladies, and most of them stuck to the sticky molasses. This left the four ladies very feathery and looking ridiculous.
Susanna: “Hope you liked the CSWL version of a good old fashioned tar and feathering!”
As the four ladies gave Susanna evil looks, the presenter turned back to the camera “That’s it from another eventful CSWL episode. Bye all!”