Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and the characters are fictional. Any resemblance to real events or persons is coincidence.
In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
Note: I recently took a poll, in order to decide what to work on next. A gameshow story was the winner by far. I didn’t expect to have anything done this quickly, but here we are. Thanks to those who voted. Enjoy.
The stage was dark.
“It’s been said, that in the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes… Well, we’re going to do what we can to speed things up. Welcome to Limelight!”
Stage lights came up, revealing a pretty young woman with vivid red hair standing in the center. She was wearing a casual, flatteringly cut grey suit with a bright green blouse and heels, her hair falling loose to her neck.
“Some artist said that thing about the ‘15 minutes,’ I can’t remember who. But that’s beside the point. Hello! My name is Gwen Reid, and I am proud to stand here today as the host of Limelight, were everyone gets a chance at fame and fortune.
“Now, sitting there at home, you may be asking yourself, ‘So what? Why should I care about strangers? Don’t we have too many celebrities already?’ These are all valid concerns!”
Gwen took a step forward and leaned in toward the camera. She made a show of looking both ways, and smiled conspiratorially, speaking in a stage-whisper.
“Can I let you in on a little secret? Around here, we treat our instant-celebrities the way they ought to be treated… And it may get rather messy.”
She leaned back and spread her arms wide while the audience applauded.
“Anyway, let’s bring out our contestants, before they start to get suspicious!”
She sauntered over to a portion of the stage where some furniture was set up. While Gwen perched herself happily in an overstuffed green easy chair, four lime green bar stools stood in a row nearby.
“Alright, let’s have our first contestant please! Corrine?”
The first player out was a thin woman with full lips and exceptional posture. She had long ash blonde hair put up in a scholarly bun and a walk that was quick and purposeful. Though she was very slender, her body was well kept. Yet, the clothes she currently wore seemed inappropriate for her bookish demeanor. She was dressed in a black t-shirt featuring, in bright green, the outline of a lime-fruit with the fittings of a light bulb, black shorts, and green gym shoes. Corrine sat primly on her stool, crossing her legs and smiling.
“Lovely to have you! Next we have Natalie!”
Natalie was a redhead, like Gwen, however she came by the color honestly. Her coppery hair was free and bouncy and billowed around her shoulders. Natalie was on the short side, but had the sort of figure that got people talking; usually with deep appreciation or deep jealousy. Her milk white face and arms were flecked lightly with freckles and her eyes were almost as green as her shoes. Perhaps her forehead was a tad larger than average, but it wasn’t much of a flaw, and was very seldom of any comfort to women who had the misfortune of finding themselves compared to Natalie. She smiled blithely as she walked to her stool, despite nearly tripping over her own feet.
“Careful dear! Amber next!”
Of the women on the stage, Amber was clearly the most at home in the uniform. The athletic clothing perfectly matched her sport-toned figure. Tall and tan, she really seemed to get a kick out of the crowd’s applause. Her hair was black, tied in a silky braid that hung just past her shoulder blades. Amber had high cheekbones and a cheerful smile, and she waved at the audience from her stool.
“Wonderful! Lastly, we have Angela!”
The last contestant took her seat on the last empty stool.
“Hold on a minute, I think you’ve already been introduced…”
In a sense, she had. Angela bore an uncanny resemblance to Amber. Her shiny black hair was shorter and shaggy, tucked behind her ears. And although she was still obviously excited to be on the show, she was slightly more reserved in showing it. But beyond that, head to toe, they were identical.
“Say, I’m beginning to think you two might be twins.”
Angela looked at Amber and frowned. She looked at Gwen with a perfect deadpan.
“I’ve never seen that woman before in my life.”
The crowd and the other contestants laughed. Gwen cracked a smile.
“Well then, I’m sorry I have to be the one to tell you, you’re adopted…”
Everyone laughed again and Amber held up her hands.
“Don’t look now Angie, but I think they’re on to us. Yes, we are twins. And we’re both aware of it. But don’t for a second count us out just because we’re sisters! We’ve been competing against each other for years!”
It was Gwen’s turn to make a placating gesture.
“Oh, don’t worry ladies! In fact, here on Limelight, that just might give you an edge! On that note, how about I explain how our little game works?
“As you four know, as of right now, you are all in the running to win out grand prize. Five thousand dollars!”
The crowd whistled and hooted and the competitors glanced at each other excitedly.
“Yes, the prize is within your grasp. All you have to do is prove you’ve earned it. Luckily, we are going to provide you the means to do just that!
“The four of you will compete in three rounds of competition, testing you in three areas crucial for every would-be celebrity. Smarts. Strength. Skills. You’ll earn points based on your performance, and after all three rounds, the player with the highest score earns a spot in our final showdown, and a chance at the loot!
“Now, here’s where things get interesting! You see, our ultimate showdown is a cumulative exam of sorts. It’s a little game we like to call The Duel. No doubt, it will eventually go down in infamy. Anyhow, just like it sounds, The Duel involves two contestants.
“Naturally, one of them will be the player with the highest score. Their competition,” Gwen paused for effect.
“… will be the player of their choosing!”
Gwen wore a fox-ish smile while the women on the stools appraised one another in a new light.
“Yes indeed! Watch each other carefully in the upcoming games, because you just may have to pick the girl you’ll be going up against head to head. And with five grand on the line, you wouldn’t want to pick poorly!”
Each competitor was eyeing her rivals, trying to size them up. How much of an advantage did the twins actually have? Or was it a disadvantage?
Gwen clapped her hands.
“You’re going to have plenty of time to get to know one another in the heat of battle, don’t fret! But now, we had better prepare for our first round!
“First up is the test of Skill! I believe you are all needed offstage, for preparations. Which is good! Because we have to set up out here. While we do that, let’s take a commercial break. Sit tight, we’ll be right back!”
“Welcome back to Limelight!”
In fact, the studio audience had not gone anywhere; instead they were treated to fifteen minutes of dimmed lights and piped in Top 40 Hits. They were thrilled when the lights came back up.
A very large red curtain was draped over something big and generally square now stationed in the middle of the stage. Gwen was leaning against the mysterious bulk, tapping her heeled foot.
“Well, our lovely contestants should be ready by now… Ladies? Come on out!”
All four women shuffled onto the stage in single file. The crowd chuckled lightly.
“You see,” Gwen continued, “each of our competitors is graciously modeling a style of dress once popular among historical celebrities.”
Amber was first in line. She was dressed in some low-rent Hollywood costumer’s conception of Cleopatra’s evening garb. Effectively wearing a long linen sheet, she was swathed in an off-white toga and bedecked in heavy faux-gold bangles.
Natalie was next, clothed in the popular stereotype of Victorian splendor. She had on a long, frilly pink gown, with padded shoulders and long sleeves, flaring at the cuff.
Next came Angela. The second twin was decked out like a 1920’s flapper. She wore a long, tight, purple satin sleeveless dress. Her costume was topped off with a long string of silver beads and a little purple feathered hat.
Corrine brought up the rear. She was dressed as a 1950’s housewife. In a green and brown argyle sweater, an ankle length charcoal skirt, and pearls, she looked most suited to her role. In fact, Corrine was the only one of them not visibly uncomfortable.
All four women were still wearing their bright green gym shoes, adding to the strangeness of the spectacle.
Gwen was grinning, watching the women make their way over slowly.
“Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what any of this has to do with Skill… Well for starters, it seems to be taking a fair amount of it not to step on your costumes!
“As for our game, I think it’s time we lift the curtain!”
With a flourish from Gwen, the curtain sailed up into the rafters, revealing what was beneath it. Three full, sky blue dunk tanks, each about a yard apart, were lined up in a row. Several yards in front of each tank, there sat a basket of tennis balls.
“Ah, ladies, I can see you doing the math. There are three tanks, but four of you! This game involves taking turns. See, three of you will take seats, and the remaining girl will try and take them away!
“Each of you will have 90 seconds to try and dunk all three of your opponents. Once you’ve all had a turn, we’ll hand out points. Got it? Excellent, let’s get started!”
In the interest of fairness, because she was wearing the most comically inconvenient costume, Amber was the first to throw.
The others took their places, seated above large amounts of water that they all intuitively knew was quite cold. Amber steeled herself, hiking up her toga as much as she reasonably could with one hand. She was waiting for the start at the basket in front of the first tank, Natalie’s tank.
Gwen held up a finger.
“Just a second! Forgot to mention, you may only use the balls provided at each tank. So there’s no standing in the middle and tossing at all three.” Gwen had a knowing twinkle in her eye.
“I’m not accusing any of you of shenanigans; it’s just, you can never predict what people might try and pull when the rules aren’t specific… Anyway, get set!”
A loud bell pinged, signaling the start of Amber’s 90 seconds.
Amber was familiar with several games that involved throwing various objects. Though she had never pitched at a dunk tank before, she took to it naturally.
She struck the little yellow target on Natalie’s tank on her second throw. The tank made a funny honking sound, and Natalie’s seat collapsed. For a split second, the beautiful girl in the ridiculous gown hung in the air. She landed with a splash that sloshed water over the edge of the tank. The lacy folds of her gown puffed out in the chilly water, surrounding her as she surfaced. Wet strands of orange hair stuck to her alabaster skin as she sputtered, struggling to find her feet in the cloud of submerged dress.
Amber had already moved on. As intended, the real trick was not falling flat on her face on account of her costume. She was glad she got to do this dry.
It took her three balls to dunk her sister. Another honk, and Angela disappeared under the water. She popped back up in an instant, her mouth a perfect ‘O’ of surprise, trying to simultaneously keep her dress up and her stupid hat on.
By the time she reached Corrine’s tank, Amber had her aim dialed in. It only took one shot to send the blonde girl spilling into the tank. She climbed right back out; her hair a shade darker and her sweater clinging.
Amber actually had a few seconds to spare. She spent them receiving congratulations from Gwen.
“Stunning job Amber! Truly a hard act to follow. Hard, but not impossible! Natalie, if you can manage to get out of the water, it’s your turn to throw!”
They reset quickly, Amber and Natalie trading places. Standing in a dripping heap of dress, Natalie wrung out her hair and flipped it over her shoulder. Her eyes were wide with anticipation. The bell rang and she got started.
Natalie whipped all five balls in the basket at Amber’s tank in rapid succession. Not one of them came particularly close to the target. She tried to rush over to Angela’s tank, but tread on her own sodden gown and wound up on her knees in a small pink puddle when the bell rang again. She looked up and gave Gwen a foolish grin.
Amber and Angela looked at each other and shrugged. Corrine sighed in relief.
“Oh. Well Natalie, Skill just isn’t your thing. That’s ok! You’ve got two more rounds to prove yourself! Don’t sweat it!”
Natalie and Angela swapped places. The short-haired twin pulled her soggy hat down on her head and rolled up the last few inches of her dress. The bell rang.
Like her sister, Angela knew a bit about throwing. Her second ball made Amber’s tank honk.
Amber groaned when she felt her seat give way. Suddenly everything was blue and shimmery, and all sound was muffled. The water was cold. A shiver ran up her spine as she broke the surface. She blew the water out of her nose and reset the seat in her tank. She clamored out, dragging the soaked toga up behind her.
Angela had thrown twice at Natalie’s tank with no luck. She noticed her sister. Amber was sitting sideways on her seat, trying to arrange the toga in a way that covered everything in need of covering.
Angela grinned wickedly and dashed backwards, nearly tripping in the process. She was throwing her last ball before Amber realized she was there.
“Hey! No!” Amber shouted. Only Natalie, sitting closest, heard her though. Everyone else just heard the tank honk for a second time.
Amber splashed down again. Once more submerged, she was suddenly very relieved that these weren’t the sort of tanks with clear plastic in front. She rose up slowly, water sliding off her head and shoulders. The first thing she saw was Angela, laughing.
Angela saw her sister, soaked to the bone, with both arms clutched tight around her chest. Immediately she knew what had happened, and instantly she was laughing to the point of tears.
Gwen’s face seemed unable to make up its mind, because the top half was all concern and sympathy, while the bottom half was smiling.
“Ah. Oh my. We seem to have had a bit of a malfunction… Let’s get that fixed up, yes?”
She rounded on Angela, whose laughter had spread to the audience.
“Unfortunately, for scoring purposes, we can only count that as one. Luckily you don’t seem to mind too much, eh?”
Angela couldn’t pull herself together to answer, and didn’t actually stop laughing until she has switched positions with Corrine.
The slender blonde had mostly dried out, and was apt to stay dry. In an example of pure mercy, Corrine decided to start from the other end of the row; beginning with the tank she’s just occupied. Gwen approved and the bell rang.
Corrine was surprisingly good at the game. Tossing the balls underhand, she managed to dunk both Angela and Natalie before her time ran out.
All four contestants reassembled back on the stools. Gwen nodded approvingly at the freshly dripping Angela and gave Natalie a commiserating smile.
“That, was a very interesting round! Well-done, well-done!
“Now it’s time to assess the results. Natalie, in recognition of a solid effort, you’ve earned 5 points!
“Angela. With one dunk, and one sisterly hijink, you have earned 3rd place and 10 points.
“Corrine, 2nd place with a very respectable two dunks. 15 points!
“And, as we all may suspect, Amber has swept this round of competition. With three honest dunks to her name, she has earned herself 20 points!”
When the applause settled down, Gwen shooed the women away.
“Go on now, go get cleaned up for the next round! We are going to take another brief break!”
“And we’re back!” Gwen was standing next to another big red curtain, though this one was smaller than the last.
All four contestants were standing nearby. They had dried off thoroughly and changed back into their uniforms.
“Welcome, welcome! Here on Limelight, we are just about ready to begin our second contest on the road to fame and fortune!
“First we tested Skill, now it’s time for a test of Smarts!”
Corinne smirked, just a little. She did pretty well in the first contest; better than she’d expected, to be honest. But this would certainly be her wheelhouse…
“Put your thinking caps on ladies. But before we get started, we have a bit of business to handle.
“If you were to guess, based on what you know about one another, which among you would you guess is the worst at math?”
Gwen smoothly ducked under the curtain, sliding back out again right away. She was holding a big pointed cone of a hat, with DUNCE emblazoned down the front in red.
“You see, throughout the next round, one of you is going to be wearing this somewhat insulting cap. On the bright side, you get to choose who wears it…”
All eyes were starting to gravitate toward Natalie, who seemed unaware. Then Angela spoke up.
“Oh, that hat’s made for Amber!”
Her twin shot her a dirty look.
“I mean, you did say math, right?” Gwen nodded. “Yeah, well, between the two of us, I got every last ounce of mathematical ability. Sorry Amber, but you know it’s true!”
Amber scowled. The others just shrugged and nodded, happy to not have to point any fingers themselves.
Gwen placed the cap firmly on Amber’s head.
“Perfect fit! Now that we’ve taken care of that, let’s get this curtain raised!”
The red cover flew away. Once again, there were three similar items in a row. This time, it was three separate sections of a wall. From behind, they looked like normal walls, except for the holes about five and a half feet off the ground. From the front, each section showed most of a painted-on mad scientist. The faces were missing; each conveniently lining up with the oval-shaped holes.
“Now, if you’ve got any Smarts at all, I bet you’ve figured out that you each need to stick your head through one of those holes. Oh, I’m sorry Amber, I don’t think your hat is going to fit. We’ll have to find something else for you to do…”
Angela, Corrine, and Natalie each tentatively took a wall, sticking their heads all the way through the holes. It was Amber’s turn to smirk. Gwen had disappeared, but as usual, she turned up quickly. This time she was pushing a large cart. It was laden with a variety of pies.
“Now, as you may have gathered, our test of Smarts will involve the solving of math problems. We will go around, each of you getting a fairly simple problem, and 10 seconds in which to solve it!”
Gwen place the dessert covered cart in front of Amber.
“Because math isn’t particularly fun, we are going to sweeten the deal for you, literally! If you get you question right, well that contributes positively toward your score for the round. However, if you get it wrong…”
The sly host put an arm around the shoulders of the tall girl in the dunce cap, who was now grinning from ear to ear.
“If you get a problem wrong, Amber here will give you a pie.”
All three women, lined-up helplessly, stared at the creamy confections nervously. Angela gulped while her mathematical confidence evaporated.
“One last wrinkle, I should mention. Because Amber won’t be answering questions herself, we need an alternate way to evaluate her Smarts. So, we won’t be telling her if answers are correct or not until after she’s decided whether or not to administer a pie. At the end of the round, we’ll judge her performance based on how accurately she corrected you three!”
Amber’s face fell. Just when she was off the hook, it turns out she has to do the most maths of all of them!
As per the norm, Gwen was delighted to have pulled the rug out from under them.
“All set ladies? Terrific, then let’s get started!
“Our first set of problems is all addition, so have no fear! Corrine, we’ll start with you.”
The cut out Corrine was in showed a rotund scientist with a smoking beaker in each hand. Even with the potential of pies looming overhead, Corrine was still feeling good about this round. She had a head for figures.
“Corrine: 1,234 plus 5,678? Quick now!”
The blonde woman answered swiftly, with a contented smile, “That’s 6,912.”
Gwen glanced at Amber. Amber gave her a hesitant thumbs-up.
“Indeed, that is correct! Well done both of you! Natalie, you’re next!”
Natalie offered a balmy smile. Her head appeared to top the body of a hunched, wiry scientist clutching a microscope.
“Natalie: What is 7,089 plus 6,354?”
Outwardly, Natalie was doing her best to look like she was thinking hard. On the inside, things were considerably simpler. 13,443. She had arrived at the answer without even trying. Despite the evidence, Natalie possessed a winning combination of beauty and brains. And Natalie liked to win, very much. She was a born competitor, who was driven to chase victory in everything she did. This game was no exception. Natalie had a strategy and she was sticking with it doggedly.
So, even though it absolutely galled her, Natalie screwed up her face, focused on the big picture, and answered Gwen just before the time ran out.
“Uh, 13,000 and… something?”
Amber had struggled to do the problem in her head, but she was fairly confident that answer was wrong. She lifted a wide, cream-filled pie tin from the cart. Amber gave Natalie a shrug, and pushed the pie in her face.
There was chocolate pudding under the cream, and globs of white and brown oozed out the sides of the tin when Amber pressed it home. The tin fell away. Natalie’s face was covered in pudding that fell off in blobs and streaked her reddish hair.
“Yes, that was not the correct answer. Nice job Amber! Better luck, Natalie! Angela?
“Angela: How about 1/2 plus 2/3? In fractions please!”
Angela gulped again. Fractions? She wasn’t much for cooking, and it had been a long time since she’d had to deal with fractions. Still, she did her best.
“Ah, 7/6, I think.”
Amber smashed a big cream pie over the top of her sister’s head. Cream splattered on the ground as Amber rubbed the pie into Angela’s raven hair. Amber was grinning while her twin squirmed under the melting cream; she left the tin in place, like a sticky hat.
Gwen snapped her fingers, “Ooh. Actually, Angela was correct. Sorry Amber!”
The twin wearing the hat that wasn’t filled with whipped cream was still grinning.
“Alright, Corrine, we’ve come back around! And we’ve moved on to multiplication! Ready?
“Corrine: What is 36 times 54?”
Again, Corrine answered swiftly and confidently.
“It’s 1,944!”
Amber however, was not as confident in her arithmetic. Nobody was that fast…
Corrine was caught completely off-guard when Amber mashed a pink tinged pie in her face. There was gooey strawberry filling under the pink topping. The bright red mess slid slowly down Corrine’s face and a halo of pink cream stuck to her ash blonde head.
“Amber, you’re slipping! Corrine was correct!”
Amber made a face and tried to ignore Corrine’s icy glare.
“Moving on! Natalie!
“Try this on for size! 18 times 105?”
Natalie’s face was still slathered in chocolate pudding. Her mouth, full of a bright smile, was all that could be identified. She cocked her head to the side.
1,890, she thought. “What?” she said.
Amber already had another chocolate pudding pie picked out. Starting low, she mushed the pie into Natalie’s chin and slid it all the way over her head, adding to the layer of creamy pudding on her face and slicking back her hair. Natalie giggled around a mouthful of pie.
“Hey, this is pretty good!”
“I’m glad you like it dear, because you’re not doing so hot this round… But now it’s Angela’s turn!
“Ok Angela: 3,025 times 33?”
Angela had to think for a few seconds before answering.
“99,825? Gah!”
Her twin, remembering very clearly a recent indignity involving a dunk tank, had barley waited for Angela to finish answering. She planted a banana cream pie on the left side of Angela’s face and smeared her way across. Cream coated strands of dark hair were plastered over Angela’s eyes and nose.
Gwen shook her head, “Not that you care, but that answer was correct!
“Well it’s time for out last set of problems. Think you can handle division? Corrine, we’re back to you!
“Alright, what is 100,500 divided by 3?”
This time, Corrine was staring daggers at Amber as she answered.
“33,500.”
Amber kept her hands firmly at her sides.
“I have to say, Corrine, you’ve done excellently this round! And Amber, good show of restraint. That was correct of course! Natalie, last problem, coming up!”
The designated pie deliverer didn’t even pay attention to Natalie’s question; much less her answer. Instead, she spent the time hunting around for another heaping chocolate pudding pie. She liked the way the pudding looked with Natalie’s hair. Amber found one on the bottom tray of the cart. Turning on her heel, Amber threw the pie from a few feet away.
Her throw was a little high and pulled a bit to the right. It hit the cartoonishly painted wall and exploded, raining pudding and cream on Natalie’s head and the back of her neck. By now Natalie looked like she was made entirely of whipped cream and chocolate pudding.
Gwen shrugged, “Well Natalie, perhaps your strengths lie elsewhere… We’ll see soon! Well done Amber. It’s time for our final math problem; and about time, I’m beginning to get a bit dizzy… Angela, you’re turn!
“So, if I divided 12,000 by 32, what would I get?”
Angela had always hated division. And she had the unpleasant inkling that, no matter how she answered, there was another pie headed in her direction. Still, points were points.
“Hmm, 365?”
Amber clapped a strawberry pie over her twin’s face. She squished and rubbed it around happily, until the sticky red fruit sauce was well blended with the other gooey fillings. She let gravity pull last tin off Angela and it fell away lazily.
“Actually, that one was a good call. Angela, you were very close!
“And that’s all she wrote! We’ve finished our little quiz!”
Gwen flicked the tip of Amber’s dunce cap, “What do you say? Maybe ignorance really is bliss?”
Amber laughed and took off the cone hat.
“But you ladies, I think you’ve learned the better lesson! You know, brilliance is as good an avenue to fame and fortune as any other. Besides, now you’re all prepared, should you ever happen to win the Nobel Pies…”
She paused, letting the horrible pun sink in.
“Let’s go grab a seat and tally the scores!”
It took a few minutes to get them all out of the pie holes and over to the stools, during which Angela unsuccessfully chased her sister around with a handful of pie slops. Once they were settled, Gwen recapped the standings.
“This sibling rivalry is starting to get out of hand! You two need to focus!
“Natalie, another valiant effort has earned you another 5 points, bringing your total up to 10!
“Amber, your reckless pie tossing has netted you 10 points. Your total is now 30!
“Angela, you did well! You’ve won 15 points, giving you 25 total!
“Corrine! You dominated round two! That’s 20 points! And the lead, with a total of 35!”
The prim blonde had already come to the same conclusion, but it was still nice to hear Gwen say it. If she could manage a decent finish in the next round, she liked her odds of winning this thing.
Angela was wiping her eyes with her shirt. For a second, she regretted starting the mini-feud with her sister. Then she remembered the sight of her in that tank, and regretted nothing once more.
Amber was flushed with embarrassment. It was true; her tit-for-tat with Angela had to stop. Although she had deeply enjoyed pieing the crap out of her, she had more opponents to deal with than her just her twin. After all, Amber always played her hardest and very much planned to win.
Natalie sat on her stool, sucking pudding from the ends of her hair and trying hard to look carefree. So far, so good. Her plan was working.
Gwen was on her feet again, speaking to the audience.
“Time yet again for a word from our sponsors! Our warrior-maidens will go get cleaned up for our third and final points round! A test of Strength!
“Don’t go anywhere, because you’ll never forgive yourself if you miss what we’ve got coming! And neither will I! See you soon!”
For the third time, Gwen was standing beside a big red curtain hiding something large. Whatever was under this curtain was the tallest device yet.
“Hello! Welcome back to Limelight!
“Let’s not waste any time! Girls, if you’d please join us out here!”
All four contestants trooped back out on the stage. Again, they’d been given time to clean up. They’d also been given new clothes.
“Splendid! I see our daring champions have had a costume change! In case you can’t spot the pattern, they’re all dressed as mighty heroines.”
Angela felt awfully foolish. They had given her a sort of female-Tarzan costume, consisting of a short black and yellow leopard-print dress which stretched over her right shoulder and was belted at the waist with a length of fake vine.
Natalie actually liked her costume pretty well. She was dressed like some kind of gladiator/barbarian fusion. She had dark leather ‘armor,’ with a skirt, gloves and shin guards. It was silly, but the costume made her feel powerful. And in the middle of a plan that relied on acting weak, Natalie needed every little boost she could get. There were five thousand reasons to stick to the plan no matter what.
Corrine received the most revealing costume, despite it being the one that showed the least skin. She was wearing a single-piece blue spandex jumpsuit. There was a red lime graphic on her chest and a short red cape trailing behind. With her resilient bun and her proper bearing, she did look a lot like a superhero; one whose powers involved office tidiness, or bookkeeping…
“Wait. What the hell am I supposed to be?”
Amber was wearing a loose white silk shirt that laced up the front and baggy brown pants belted with a yellow silk scarf. The ensemble was topped off with a red bandana tied over her head.
Gwen rolled her eyes.
“Obviously, you’re a pirate.”
“What! How is that heroic? Seriously?”
Gwen waved her off dismissively
“Oh yeah, you’re that one heroic pirate. From that one movie. With the guy and the thing. Now hush so I can explain the game!”
The curtain rose. This time the prop was all one single unit, divided into four sections. At the bottom, a wide black rubber mat stretched from one end of the big boxy device to the other. Moving up, there were six feet of shiny metal, recessed several feet back into the box. At the six foot mark, the box came out again, creating an overhang above the mat on the floor. Set into the face of the device, just above the lip of the overhang, were four big plasma screens, currently turned off. The four heroically dressed women were looking the shiny metal rectangle over, trying to figure out what its purpose was. Gwen didn’t let them mull for long.
“This,” she waved proudly at the big box, “is one of my favorites! This is our very own Strength Assessing Simulator. This device is designed to simulate situations requiring feats of strength, while not putting you in undue danger. It’s also a lot of fun!
“Of course, it’s easier to just show you. Can we release the monsters please?”
They looked around in confusion. The plasma screens on the simulator sprang to life. The first screen in the row displayed a cartoon image of the top half of a giant dinosaur’s head. The eyes darted back and forth, blinking occasionally.
The next screen showed a similar cartoon, except it was a King Kong knock-off instead of a big lizard. The third plasma screen followed the same trend, displaying a looped cartoon of a giant robot’s noggin. Angela pointed at the last screen, which just showed the top of a big white bump with beady, wide-set eyes.
“I don’t get that one…”
It was Amber’s turn to roll her eyes.
“It’s supposed to be Moby Dick, right?”
“Yes indeed!” Gwen said with a little clap, “Aren’t we literary!
“Now, ladies, please take your places below a monster!”
Amber naturally stood below the white whale. Angela took the monkey, because it seemed appropriate. Corrine took the robot, leaving Natalie with the dinosaur.
Gwen pressed a button on the side of the simulator, and simultaneously, a rope with a plastic ring on the end dropped down from above each woman.
“Ok, now that we’re all set up, I can explain today’s simulation! As I’m sure you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a giant monster with the sniffles… Destruction and devastation for miles!
“You’re mission, whether or not you choose to accept it, is to keep these terrible beasties from sneezing!
“Grab a hold of those rings and pull with all your might! As long as you keep adequate tension on the ropes, those enormous critters won’t sneeze. Scoring this round is very easy; it is the brawn, not the brains round after all: Last girl to keep her monster from sneezing wins!”
The women looked at each other and Gwen quizzically. This was certainly a bizarre game. But the scarlet-haired host was the picture of seriousness.
“Get a good grip! We start on the bell!”
All four contestants grabbed the rings hanging just above their heads, and pulled down. There was immediate resistance, but nothing particularly daunting.
Alright, Amber thought, settling in, Angela was probably her big competition in this round. She kept her mind’s eye on the prize and prepared for the long haul. Oddly enough, Angela had a very similar thought.
Natalie yanked down on her ring, trying to plot a few steps ahead. It was getting down to the wire now, no room for error. Victory was within her grasp, she just had to hang on for a little bit longer.
Corrine knew immediately she was in trouble. The game hadn’t even started and she was already getting tired. She cinched her long elegant fingers around the ring and put all of her insubstantial weight into the effort. Strength was clearly not her strong suit…
The bell rang and the game began.
Gwen started pacing back and forth slowly, giving each woman some noncommittal word of encouragement. She’d only just finished her second lap of the row when Corrine’s skinny arms began to shake.
It was no use and she knew it. She’d just have to give in and root for Natalie to win the round… She let the ring slip out of her hands and it retracted back into the simulator.
“Oh dear! Corrine!”
The tired blonde in the superhero tights was just about to explain herself to Gwen and the audience when the robot began to sneeze.
It was peculiar. The cartoon on the television squeezed its eyes shut, and a loud, mechanical noise came from above.
“AH…”
“AH…”
Corrine pointed up, ready to ask an insightful question about why exactly a robot ever had to sneeze in the first place…
“CHOO!”
The “mucus” was dark green and translucent. It was runny and gooey and it fell all at once. Corrine didn’t make peep as she was showered with six gallons of pretend snot. Her finger curled into her hand and her hand dropped to her side. Covered in stringy green ooze, straining to retain her composure, Corrine marched briskly off the simulator, past a snickering Gwen, off the stage, and toward the showers.
“Ew. Well, Corrine is going to going to go wash up…
“But don’t lose your nerve! This is your last chance to earn points!
“By the way, did you know sneezes are contagious? Oh yes! You’re probably noticing you need to pull a bit harder now…”
Natalie was in the throes of a dilemma. She knew what she had to do. But. She very much wanted to avoid Corrine’s slimy fate. Ultimately, she concluded, she’d come too far to turn back.
With an “Oof!” Natalie dropped to her ass, watching the ring disappear. She stayed down, turtling her head between her knees and covering up with her arms. She waited for the slime. But she was still dry.
Warily, she lifted her head and looked up. Unfortunately, from her protected position, she hadn’t been able to hear the lead up to the dinosaur’s roaring sneeze. She broke cover just in time to catch the huge blob of green goop in the face. Natalie shrieked as the dark green slime coated her head and shoulders.
Though Natalie was mortified at the goo dripping from her face and hair, for everyone else, her latest bungle was just more of the same.
“And then there were two! And they’re sort of the same person!”
The tension on the rings increased again. Now both twins had to work hard to keep pulling.
Amber called over to her sister, “You should just give up! You may be the smart one, but I’ve always been the strong one!”
Angela snorted, nearly letting go, “Ha! Keep talking sis, green really is your color!”
Amber could feel her arms starting to weaken. But there was no chance she was going to give up now. She managed a tiny hop, and jammed her knees up between her elbows; wedging herself in place like some sort of human pendulum. It did the trick though, because now gravity was doing most of the work.
Angela grunted in frustration. She couldn’t replicate her sister’s athletic maneuver. Her palms were sweaty. Her hands were slipping.
“Oh, no!”
The ring escaped. Angela sighed. She spread her arms and faced the audience, wearing an anxious grimace. The cartoon Kong screwed his eyes shut. The mass of slime dropped square on the top of her head. The slightly warm, bottle green slime pasted her black hair flat to her head. It rolled down her body, filling the shoulder-less half of her costume and tickling her stomach. With a look of resignation, Angela bowed to the audience. She tried to flick some slime at Gwen, who gracefully danced out of the way.
“Hey now!” she scolded, “No need for that! And Amber, no need to stay up there, you’ve won!”
With a sigh of relief, Amber let go of the ring. She dropped onto the springy mat below, lying on her back and finally letting her arms relax. Things were going pretty wonderfully; not only was she doing well in the game, but this was the second round running that she’d avoided some sort of dreadful mess! She heard something strange.
“AH… AH… CHOO!”
The great white whale unleashed a great green sneeze. All of the sudden, Amber was lying in the middle of a very slimy puddle. Her sleek braid came undone and her dark hair was now shinier than ever. Amber sprang upright, sending drops of slime in all directions. She wiped the artificial mucus from her face with a slippery forearm.
“Hey! You didn’t say it would do that!”
Gwen shrugged, smiling devilishly.
“I also didn’t say it wouldn’t! It’s for the best really. Don’t you just hate the feeling when you have to sneeze but can’t?
“But enough with the semantics! Let’s have a seat and do our final score count.”
Corrine was already waiting for them perched on a stool. She was soaking wet, but slime-free, and had a fluffy white towel around her shoulders.
“Stellar performances all around! Very impressive feats of strength! Some, however, more impressive than others…
“Corrine, you’ll be adding 5 points. Giving you a grand total of 40! Well done!
“Natalie! This was your best round yet! Plus 10, brings you up to 20 points!
“Angela, with consistently strong showings, you’ve earned 15 points. Your final score is also 40!
“Which brings us to Amber. With another round won, you’ll pick up 20 points! That gives you 50 total, and the crown for the points rounds! Congratulations!”
The crowd cheered and Amber beamed.
“Great job! Of course, now’s when things really get interesting!
“Amber. It’s time for you to choose! Who, of the women on this stage, will you select to face in The Duel, a head-to-head battle of strength, smarts, and skill, for the $5,000 prize?”
The triumphant girl looked at each of her potential opponents. She smiled sweetly at the shapely redhead slick with slime.
“Natalie, you’ve had such bad luck today! That’s no fair, so I’d like to give you a second chance. So I’m choosing you!”
Yes! Natalie was ecstatic, but she kept her face from showing anything more than moderate excitement. This was exactly the strategy she’d been counting on. Despite her stated reasons, whoever had the most points was always going to choose the weakest competitor for the final round. Not only was Natalie in the final, but she was playing against someone who gravely underestimated her… It took willpower, but she managed not to let the competitive fire, blazing inside, show. She could already smell the money.
“Well! What a generous gesture!” Gwen’s saccharine tone was just a little too sweet to be fully convinced.
“Alright then! It’s time for our final commercial break! While you take care of that, our contestants will go get cleaned up… again. Yes, all four of them!”
Angela and Corrine looked at each other, confused.
“If you’d like to know why, then stick around! You won’t be sorry!”
When the lights came back this time there was not a curtain in sight. Gwen and the competitors, back in their normal uniforms, were all standing in front of a large brightly lit structure.
“Welcome back! This is Limelight, and we are about to begin our grand finale!”
Amber’s stomach was full of butterflies. Of course she was excited; who wouldn’t be with 5,000 dollars up for grabs? But she was also a bit scared. This show was new, and she had no idea what this ‘grand finale’ would entail. She was clean and dry now, but she hadn’t had time to re-braid her hair. It was just tied back and she fidgeted with it nervously.
Angela was grinning. Sure, she would have liked to win the money. But she was having a good time so far. Secretly, she was glad Amber hadn’t chosen her to compete in The Duel; she was looking forward to being a spectator this time.
Corrine, who had started the day the most put-together, was looking a little worse for wear. Her long pale blonde hair was loose and still damp. Despite a fairly strong start, she was just happy to be finished with the games. She had her arms crossed, watching Gwen with a mix of curiosity and apprehension.
Natalie was in her element. Finally, it was time to take off the mask of incompetence. Time for the competition to realize they’d been fooled from the start. She stood tall; the bumbling cheer she’d displayed earlier was gone entirely. In its place was the watchful, calculating gaze of someone accustomed to being at the top of the food-chain. Natalie had even managed to redo her make-up while cleaning off the slime. Victory was less sweet if you didn’t look good winning.
The host may have noticed the subtle change, because she giving Natalie a suspicious look. However she didn’t reveal anything before launching into her final explanation of the show.
“This is what you’ve all been waiting for! The last hurtle on your meteoric rise to fame and fortune! Here on Limelight, we call that hurtle The Duel!”
Gwen did her best impression of a showroom model, showing off the set. It looked sort of like a big piece of adult-sized playground equipment and a strange fountain built into a pretend mountain.
On each side of the miniature plastic peak, there was a path to the top. The paths began with a small rock wall, leading up to a steep ramp with a climbing rope, which in turn led to a short flight of over-sized stairs. At the top of the stairs, where both paths met, there were two podiums side by side.
“As you can probably figure out, the first leg of The Duel is a race to the top! Each would-be winner has to scale our obstacle course as fast as she can. But that’s just the first leg!
“Once at the top, it becomes a battle of wits! At each of the podiums up top, there is a state-of-the-art touch-pad drawing screen, as well as a list of three words. Our lovely contestants will have to use their artistic skills to convey those words to their partners using only pictures. Yes! Why, I did say partners! You see, each of our duelists will have a partner back down here on the ground.”
Gwen pointed with both hands to the area of stage on either side of the plastic mountain. The set-up was a perfect mirror image. Two big flat-screen monitors, currently blank, and two tall metal poles, each with three buckets attached at intervals.
“Your partners will stand here,” Gwen pointed to a spot in front of the monitors and under the buckets, “and interpret your drawings. Once you’ve gotten your partner to say a word, you can move on to the next. First to get all three wins!
“In the interest of fairness, we’ve assigned your partners randomly. Amber, you just so happen to have gotten Angela. That means Natalie, you’ll be with Corrine. Don’t look so glum ladies! I should mention, the partner of whomever wins The Duel will herself win $1,000. Not too shabby a consolation prize!”
Corrine was blinking rapidly, wondering if she even stood a chance of winning the bonus prize with Natalie as a partner. Angela just sighed, not liking the look of those buckets one bit. Amber didn’t really care; she was anxious and ready to get on with the game. Natalie was weighing the impact of this new wrinkle. She was certainly no artist, but on the bright side she wouldn’t have to worry about sabotage due to sisterly affection…
“Of course,” Gwen continued, “everything isn’t as simple as it seems. While the winner of The Duel gets the money, the loser gets a prize too! Namely, a quick trip back down the mountain!
“If you would, please direct your eyes back to the top. You may notice, beneath each podium, is a slide. Go ahead and see where it leads…”
In unison, all eyes traced the route of the two bright purple slides, which made lazy loops around and through the mountain until about where the climbing walls met the bottom of the ramps. Here, the slides united into a single plastic pipeline, which made a tight corkscrew. The slide ended abruptly, coming to a stop right above a giant vat. The vat was circular, rounded on the bottom, and full of gunge. In honor of the inaugural episode of Limelight, the gunge was lime green.
“That’s right! Unfortunately, our second place finisher will end up as the centerpiece of our lovely water feature!”
The vat was attached to the side of the ersatz mountain, and suspended about four feet above a wide gunge pond set into the stage and ringed with a low fence of grey rubber ‘rocks.’ Several spigots built into the side of the mountain sent constant thin streams of gunge trickling into the pool. Actually, if you could get past having green goop instead of water, the whole thing was kind of picturesque.
“But don’t focus on the negatives. One of you is about to win five thousand dollars!
“Well, ladies, it’s time to take your places!”
Amber took the right side of the mountain. It looked a lot taller up close. Her heart was starting to thump with anticipation. She stretched a little and prepared to go for it.
Natalie, staring up the left side of the mountain, was already picking a route up the rock wall. She smiled. Natalie was very comfortable with the feeling of toeing the starting line. Triathlons were a hobby of hers, and the competitive spirit she had spent the entire game concealing was chomping at the bit.
Gwen got the other, rather less enthusiastic, girls situated. She then stood at the edge of the pond, right at the center of the mountain, and drew an orange starter’s pistol from her jacket. Pointing it straight up, she fired. There was a puff of smoke, a loud crack, and they were off.
Amber launched herself at the climbing wall, scrambling for a foothold and just managing to hang on. She began her ascent, pleased at her pace. Had she only been able to see the other side of the course, she’d have known she had already fallen behind.
Natalie attacked the wall like some unholy combination of spider-monkey and gazelle. She practically flew up, hopping from one purchase to the next. She cleared the rock wall in less than 45 seconds. Even Gwen was temporarily speechless; though not for long.
“Oh wow! It seems Natalie may have been holding back a little…”
She pelted up the ramp in no time at all, and vaulted up the over-sized stairs like they were hurdles. Natalie made it to the podium at the top of the mountain before Amber had even completed the rock wall.
She knew she was in the lead. Partly because of the volume of the cheering, and partly because of her raw confidence in her own abilities.
Just as advertised, there was a big blank touch-screen canvas and a list of three words waiting for her. Pig, Pigsty, and Pig-Latin. Natalie spared a second to scoff at the stupid theme. She immediately set to work, trying to draw a pig.
Down at the bottom, Corrine was watching her efforts in real-time. She had absolutely no clue what she was looking at. There was a sort of lump with lines coming off the bottom. As she watched, utterly baffled, a circle grew from one end of the lump. Ok, she thought, it’s some kind of animal?
“Dog? Cat? Cow? Horse…?”
Natalie could hear Corrine’s blind guesses, but couldn’t think of a way to narrow her focus… She cleared the screen and started over.
“Dammit,” she hissed under her breath. Amber had just popped up on the other side of the summit.
Once she reached the podium, the dark-haired twin scanned her list of words. Bee, Beeswax, and Spelling Bee. Alright. The first one should be easy….
Both women were now poking and prodding at the screens furiously.
Back at the base of the mountain, a shape was appearing on Angela’s monitor. It was bulbous, and striped, with wings, and… a stringer!
“A bee! It’s a bee!” Angela exclaimed.
A happy-sounding bell dinged. Then Angela screamed. Up at the top, Amber and Natalie paused, looking to see what happened.
When the bell rang, the bottom-most bucket poised above Angela had tipped forward, dumping a thick load of golden honey. Her jubilation was squashed as the sticky sweet mess spread slowly over her head and crawled down her back.
“Oh my!” Gwen said with mock shock, “Well we’re just full of surprises around here!”
Natalie didn’t waste any more time. Her lead was already shot. Now it was do or die!
It hit her like a thunderbolt. She muttered obscenities. Of course!
While Corrine watched, the lumpy thing with the funny nose and thick short legs sprouted at tail. Then the tail curled, repeatedly.
“Oh! A pig!”
Another ding. Corrine shut her eyes, her whole body tensed. She felt something cool and wet and heavy land on her head and cascade over her shoulders. When she opened her eyes, she was dripping with dark brown mud.
She made a small whimpering noise and went back to watching the screen. It had cleared itself with the bell. Now there were three lumps with curly tails, surrounded by a very rough approximation of a fence… She thought she knew the answer, but was sure she wanted to say it.
“A pigpen! A pigsty?”
Ding. Another bucket of mud slopped over her head. As she shivered under the clammy muck, Corrine mused wryly, at least there was a silver lining. She had always wondered how she’d look as a brunette.
Natalie was at a total loss. How could she draw Pig-Latin? She started in on a weak attempt to sketch the Coliseum.
It didn’t matter though. Amber and Angela, perhaps due to their close relationship, were perfectly in synch.
Amber drew a candle, with wings and a stinger.
“Beeswax!”
The bell cheered. Angela received second hefty dollop of honey. She had to wipe it out of her eyes just so she could see the monitor.
Now there was a stage, with four short stick figures in a row. One on the end was bent double, squiggly lines coming from its mouth… Immediately Angela recalled a very entertaining memory from childhood. She laughed underneath the golden goo.
“Spelling Bee!”
The last bucket of honey tipped forward. Angela was fairly certain no one in history had ever been stickier than she was right now. She tried to slick her hair back, but it was tough. Much of it was practically glued in place.
“And that’s the game!”
The monitors went dark. Gwen invited Corrine and Angela to join her in the middle. For a moment, she started to throw an arm around each of them, but then thought better of it, giving the audience a wink.
“Superb job Angela! And Corrine, a superb effort on your part! Sadly, like in all duels, there’s a winner… and someone who doesn’t win. Today just wasn’t your day.”
Corrine nodded wistfully, wiping away a bit of mud running down her cheek.
Gwen turned around and leaned back.
“Hey! You up there! I think congratulations are in order!”
Smiling happily, Amber went about thanking Gwen and her sticky twin.
Natalie couldn’t believe it. Her plan, her strategy had worked perfectly, only for the whole-thing to capsize at the finish line. It was surreal. Eventually she tuned back in to the conversation taking place. Gwen was offering Amber a choice.
“It’s entirely up to you! You can walk away with the money, all $5,000, or, you can go double or nothing!”
Neither of them could see to be certain, but Natalie and Amber were both sure Gwen was grinning deviously.
“Yes there’s one final twist here on Limelight! Amber, if you so choose, we will ask Natalie one last trivia question. If she gets it right, then she wins the money and the glory, and you get the express trip back down here… But! If she gets it wrong, she gets the slide and you win $10,000! Oh it’s a devil’s deal, I know, but how can you argue with a five figure jackpot? What do you say Amber?”
She was torn. On the one hand, who knew what the question would be like? And Natalie was like a completely different person since the start of The Duel; maybe there was more to her than looks? Also, Amber really didn’t want to end up in that gunge… Still, on the other hand, ten thousand was a pretty big number… Oh what the hell.
“Yep! Let’s do this! Double or nothing!”
Gwen rubbed her hand together gleefully.
“I was hoping you’d say that! Natalie, are you ready?”
Natalie’s eyes lit up. This was her chance! The universe wasn’t aligned against her after all! One measly trivia question!
“Absolutely!”
“Stellar! Here it comes:
“At the beginning of the show, I mentioned the well known ’15 minutes of fame’ quote. Who coined the that phrase?”
Natalie froze. Shit. Wait. She knew this. It was a man, an artist. Modern-y. Crap, why couldn’t she place it? Everyone was looking up at her expectantly. She racked her brain. All four flat-screens were now flashing a countdown. 5… 4… 3… 2…
“Pollock! Was it Pollock?” She added the last bit meekly, already knowing she was wrong.
“Ooh. I’m so sorry! The phrase ’15 minutes of fame’ was coined by Andy Warhol…
“Amber! I can tell by that super-sized smile of yours, you know what this means! You’ve won Limelight, the grand prize is yours! Ten thousand big ones!”
The crowd was cheering wildly. Angela, and even Corrine joined in with applause. Natalie was not cheering. Gwen was suddenly holding a short black remote control.
“Well, Natalie, a deal’s a deal! What goes up must come down!” She pressed a button. There was a honk, just like the dunk tanks.
Natalie got a sinking feeling, and then was literally sinking, as the trapdoor she was standing on gave way. The last thing she saw, before the purple darkness of the slide swallowed her whole, was Amber, smiling and waving goodbye.
The plastic was glass smooth and practically friction free. She could feel herself starting to accelerate, as the angle of the looping slide steepened. In the pit of her stomach, something was turning somersaults. Natalie just closed her eyes, grabbed her shoulders and waited for the inevitable splash-down.
She hit the corkscrew, felt it spinning her around. She cracked an eye, and could see light, down past her feet, growing closer. The slide spat her out a mere six inches above the tranquil green surface. She landed with a plop.
Natalie took a deep breath. Her nose didn’t fill with gunge. She could still hear the audience. She opened her eyes, dumbfounded. She was standing in the green gunk. It was opaque and cool, and slightly lumpy. And it only came up to her waist. She looked over at Gwen, confusion all over her face.
She and Angela were laughing. Corrine was smiling, offering something approaching sympathy. Natalie pounded her fists into the muck. She’d been all worked up over this? The vat wasn’t nearly as deep as it looked. Sure, the gunge was seeping into her shoes and saturating her shorts, but really, this was nothing. She was about to say as much, when Gwen pressed another button.
This time, there wasn’t a honk. Instead, the studio’s speakers played the sound of a toilet flushing. Natalie felt the all-too-familiar sensation of the ground giving out beneath her feet.
Gwen grinned. This was, without a doubt, her favorite part. The secret valve at the bottom of the vat opened, and it flushed its entire load of gunge, along with one very pretty, very sneaky, very perturbed redhead, into the gunge pond below.
Unlike the vat, the pond was actually substantially deeper than it looked. Gwen watched as Natalie, caught in the lime green downpour, dropped out the bottom of the vat and flopped into the waiting pond. She surfaced a few seconds later, with a gasp, completely soaked in lumpy green gunk. Utterly unrecognizable, she swam to the edge of the pond and floundered her way out.
Gwen helped her stand up. Every inch of her was green and slimy. Her once-perky hair hung in twisted, goopy clumps. The weight of the gunge made her clothes sag and cling at the same time.
“So, Natalie,” Gwen asked from a safe distance, “you may have lost The Duel, but did you at least enjoy your trip down the mountain?”
Corrine had to pass her a towel, so she could wipe her mouth before answering.
“You know, Gwen? It actually wasn’t too bad, until the end there. Not exactly the ‘green’ I hoped to be rolling in.”
“Fair enough! But you tried your best, and that’s what really matters!”
The gorgeous girl underneath the thick coating of sloppy green gunge made a face that was somewhere in between a smile and a sneer.
“So there you have it! We’ve had fame and we’ve had fortune, well some of us anyway. I’m Gwen Reid, and I hope you’ll join us again. See you next time, on Limelight!”
for my recent lack of presence here – very busy times. I’m touching base with this week’s round of pie cannon. Getting creamed are Miori Ichikawa (市川 美織), Mina Ōba (大場 美奈), Mariya Suzuki (鈴木 まりや) and quizmaster Haruka Shimazaki (島崎 遥香).
back to the recent discussion on gender ratio, the “cooking with Ermo” segment on Que Locura ranks pretty poorly. Recently though, things have gone our way, with female guests for the past two weeks.
there a celebrity you’ve always wanted to hang out with? Have you always wanted to appear on one of those amazing game shows from your childhood? And do you fancy a chance to win a cool £10,000?
to Roy L. Pudding for posting this in the 
couple of great finds, highlighted by Roy L Pudding and jimmyjim.
the trifecta of finds from today is this game from Bienvenida La Tarde, courtesy of luke7998.
of the Draw goes pro?
