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—
It’s finally here!
And by the looks of it today, I’m not the only one who really wanted to get their story up by the New Year!
Right, first of all, sorry for the long wait. I know one or two of you have been in contact and mentioned it that you were looking forward to it – hope it delivers. It took a little bit more time than usual to get round to writing this, but it’s been a fun one! Consider it a late Christmas present.
Next up, there is a new series on it’s way. So many people have been creative and given me a lot of great nominees, so thank you for that. And the feedback from the stories that were based on real people and reasons were great too – I even got called a legend for doing this in an email, nice boost of morale there! I’ve saved the letters of those I haven’t got round to, so if you haven’t seen your nominee yet, don’t worry – they will have their time above the Gunk Dunk in time.
Gunk Dunk was decided by you, but the games were coin toss, points random. (‘Goo Who’ segment though that’s my decision!)
Enough waffling from me, let’s ‘watch’…
—
![NGYOB]()
The infamous theme tune played out, lights whizzing and flashing all around. The camera was keeping up with this, spinning and dipping and diving, panning across the audience and going a bit whacky. And there was no wonder as it spun around suddenly to show a large mouth of pearly white teeth, grinning like a kid.
“The audience is ready, I’m ready, our contestants and adults are ready, are you?”
The audience went wild with anticipation as Dave sounded out his iconic maniacal laugh. The series had been on a short Autumn break, but it was coming back with a bang. Of all the major celebrities to be on the show in the past couple of years, the producers had decided to scale it down a little, and looked for some unlucky and familiar CBBC faces to go up against the goo. A cameraman took the camera from Dave, who belted into the middle of the studio floor.
“Hello, my name is Dave Benson Phillips, and this is Get Your Own Back – the greatest show on earth if you’re a kid, the worst kind of nightmare if you’re a grown up!”
The audience chuckled at this, knowing the truth behind it. Dave’s show had had so many adults on in the past, and word had spread fast in the old days. Many adults genuinely quivering in font of their TV screens in fear of being asked that dreadful question, “Erm, can I take you on this show on CBBC…”.
“And this is a very special episode as I’ve said. We have two adults here today who you may be familiar with if you’re a regular viewer on CBBC, but they are not any less horrible than your average grown up. I cannot wait to get this show underway, so let’s meet our teams! On the yellow team today, 11 year old Callum, and for the blues, 10 year old Ellie!”
From both sides, the children ran in waving and smiling. The crowd cheered them on as they came to Dave’s side. Callum was sporting spiky reddish hair, his face covered in freckles. Ellie had a ponytail of brown hair wafting behind her. Both kids were of the same height more or less. Dave turned to his right.
“Alright then Callum, let’s start this with you. Who is your CBBC celebrity, how are you related and why have you brought them?”
“Lindsey Russell and she is my big sister.”
![0hla2qv13]()
“Ah, Lindsey of Blue Peter fame yes?”
“Yeah, but please don’t mention fame to her.”
“Oh we’d better find out why and read your.”
Dear Dave,
Please help me. My big sister has landed a role as a Blue Peter presenter last year on CBBC. At first I was happy for her! She used to be lovely, helping me with homework, taking me out to see my favourite movies and played games with me! But now, ugh…well, ever since she landed her role on Blue Peter she’s turned into such a nuisance. That fame has gone to her head. Every time my friends come round, she hounds them to sign some autographs for them, and if we’re out in public she tries to get selfies with the public, who don’t always know her! She spends hours in the bathroom now, shouts ‘BUT I’M FAMOUS’ if I beat her at games and she jumps at the chance to use her fame to embarrass me even. On Blue Peter she sometimes tells stories about her ‘little brother’, and I’m always the butt of her jokes – THAT’S ME, she makes jokes of me. She makes all my friends laugh at me when I go to school because they heard the stories on the show too. Please help me. Her dream was being famous. My dream now is to funk her into that horrible gunge, wheel her out and take selfies of HER, covered in muck and crying in humiliation in front of all her fans! That would make her famous for all the wrong reasons! Yay :D!
Callum
“Oh wow, that was a big letter. Well, I apologise for this Callum but for a few minutes she may enjoy her spotlight, at least until I show her that tank behind! Bring out that vein sister lads!”
“No, no, no – Lindsey Russell? Blue Peter? Hello? This isn’t the right studio, this isn’t what I need to be wearing either you should take me back to the changing rooms so I can change!”
To the left, out came a pillory with a flustered looking Lindsey Russell. She was bent over and had been placed in the medieval looking stock, yet wasn’t protesting her innocence as much as insisting she was in the wrong studio. The family resemblance to her brother was striking, she too had reddish brown hair which came to just above her shoulders, the ends curled a little. She had a few freckles on her face, but not as many as her younger brother, and had quire distinctive eyebrows which were raised in confusion. She was dressed in her GYOB gear unlike many before her; her yellow shirt was tight against her and was tucked into black jean shorts. As well as the shorts, she wore a pair of dark tights. This was a similar style to what she wore on Blue Peter, but for GYOB, the tucked in shirt and tights were something rare. Her cart came to a stop and she spotted the audience.
“Oh! Well, actually, never-mind I have a lot of my adoring fans here to see – hey, what!”
The audience was unanimous in their booing and hissing, although many probably were fans, every adult on GYOB was on the losing side to the audience.
“Oh you must be confusing me for someone else! Hi guys, I’m Lindsey Russell, you’ve probably heard my name a few times at CBBC and well, I’m glad to help you put a name to a face – “
“Lindsey! Zip it! We all know your name and face!”
Lindsey looked round slowly in disbelief at Dave.
“H – How…HOW DARE YOU.”
This prompted some laughter in the crowd, as well as with Callum.
“Lindsey, you do know where you are right?”
“I should be on Blue Peter right now, the show can’t start without me. I am the show, hehehe.”
She gave a cheeky laugh to herself. Callum rolled his eyes as the audience moaned and Dave just simply put his hand over his eyes in near defeat.
“Callum, I can see what you mean. The fame has gone to her head indeed. Lindsey, you’re on Get Your Own Back love.”
The 23 year old shrugged.
“Oh right, well I’m glad you invited me, your viewing figures may – wait? Do you mean GYOB? But…ohhh, that explains the shirt. Isn’t this the show with the big tank of really smelly gunge and..uhm…”
Lindsey looked behind her, suddenly realising with fear and spotted the ominous Gunk Dunk behind her. She turned round and started to shake her head, repeating ‘No’ in denial quite rapidly. Her wailing was stopped by Dave who placed a large sticker with the Blue Peter flag over her mouth. Her eyes turned to that of fear and pleading as Dave continued.
“The less attention we give her right now the better I’d say. You’re not the only well known person here today Missy so quit moaning! Callum, do you think she deserves her fame?”
“Well yeah. I think she does. But what I also think she deserves is to be thrown right into the gunge. You deserve to be messy and embarassed. You’re going in that.”
Callum prodded his sister and pointed behind him laughing, enjoying being able to tease his big sister. Lindsey frowned and shook her head as Dave laughed and then turned to Ellie.
“Ok then Ellie, welcome to the show. Who have you brought to Get Your Own Back today, do we know her and why?”
“I think you probably know her. I’ve brought my cousin, Katie Thistleton who is one of the CBBC presenters. I’ve had it with her and her, ‘Tips, Tricks and Tutoring.”
![_66206575_katie&hacker-6]()
“Oh we’d better unravel this, here we go…”
Dave,
I have a problem which only your big tank of slime and gunge can sort. My cousin is Katie Thistleton, one of the CBBC presenters. She only lives on the next street to me so is always around our house (*Sigh*), and EVERY time she is here she tries to like, give me lessons and all. I want to become a dancer but she is adamant I should become a presenter like her. But she doesn’t just suggest it, she basically is training me against my will! She sits me down and gives me lessons on how to be a presenter (Using her own ‘Amazing’ self as an example). Katie then gives me lots of pop quiz’s too, she actually sat me through a half an hour exam once, no joke. If I fail her questions and exams, I have to do the chores around the house. She actually comes into my school to teach about reading books but she then gets me up to try and present in front of my class, and then thoroughly rips me to pieces in what I did wrong in front of them, HUMILIATING ME. She is obsessed. I hate being on camera, I get all embarrassed, but I’m willing to come on your show to embarrass HER for once. I wanna dunk her into your filthy pool and send her off, stinking and dripping of your disgusting gunge, to present on CBBC with Hacker – so that he can tell her off and teach her presenting standards, haha!
From Ellie
“Uh oh. Well, we’d better bring her out. I’m hoping she doesn’t try to steal my job…”
From the right, a similar pillory to the one Lindsey was in, was brought out. The 25 year old had a fed up looking face on as she was wheeled out, a mixture of embarrassment and disappointment, the latter mockingly to her young cousin. She had a little bit of make up on, but not a ridiculous amount and the corner of her mouth was smiling slightly. Her blonde hair was in a ponytail, hanging down by her side as she was bent over in the pillory. Her blue GYOB top was worn loose, was a tight fit and small, the bottom of it being right at the top of her shorts. She had chosen to wear figure hugging shorts. Her legs looked a little athletic, but were smooth looking. Just like Lindsey, she seemed to take a great care and pride in her onscreen appearance.
“Well hello Miss Thistleton. Welcome to the show!”
“Oh yeah, thanks Dave.”
She looked away and rolled her eyes to match her sarcastic tone.
“Katie, whats the deal, I mean come on. Exams in presenting?”
“Dave look at me. I’ve made a great career presenting, I make the screen glow and kids love hearing me. I come up with great little features and it’s always with a smile. I think that Ellie could be an amazing presenter. I don’t understand how encouraging her is a bad thing, isn’t it good?”
Ellie was shaking her head and some of the kids in the audience were booing.
“Katie, obsessing over it and becoming a strict teacher of it is not a good thing I can tell you that.”
“Pff, I could teach you a few things ya’ big clown.”
Although traditionally against the adult, the whole studio shook with the roar of laughter. The audience, Callum, Lindsey and Ellie were all beside themselves as the king of revenge was put in his place. Dave just looked, shocked beyond belief.
“I, am, speechless. Here, this will shut you up for a five minutes.”
Dave stuffed what looked like a small novelty teddy, in the shape of a dog into Katie’s mouth. It was obviously meant to resemble her onscreen co-host, Hacker T. Dog.
“I may act like a clown but Katie dear, although you may be a great presenter, you’re co-presenter is a dog. We all know HE is really in charge!”
Katie simply scowled hard at Dave as the audience chuckled. He laughed himself and walked back in between the two teams.
“Right well we have our teams, two contestants and two celebrities. There’s just one more thing I have to show you. Come with me…here we go. Now, there’s going to be some games as usual on GYOB. The kids will be trying to score as many points as they can, whilst their adults are trying to stop them. But the child with the most points will have a better chance later to throw their adults into THIS!”
The camera panned away and down from Dave to show the dreaded tank. The gunge was fitting of the theme of the special; overall it was green and white, the colours of the CBBC channel. Around the edge, and dotted around it was blue for Blue Peter. The three colours though were all different kinds of gunge. The green, which was the most prominent was simply a thick, sloppy mud like substance. If a coin was to be dropped into some green, it would probably land with a squelch and suck into the sludge slowly – that was how thick it was. The blue, of which there was a decent amount, was wet looking and a little shiny. Classic looking 90’s slime, and was messily dotted and ‘splurged’ across the tank. Finally, the white seemed to be similar to marshmallow fluff; appearing a lot more sticky than anything. It was swirled mostly around the edge, next to the blue, apart from a large puddle of if in the middle. On this, a black substance made up todays lettering. It was more personalised than usual, with two puddles underneath each chair. One read, “Launch Lindsey Off”, and the other one read, “Kick Katie Off “, both connecting in the corners with the final massive puddle of white on the gunge reading, “And Drench Her In The Stench!” The whole gunge had been spruced up quite a bit for the episode and it looked incredible to the audience.
“Oh yes, our big tank has had a celebrity makeover. Sporting the colours of the CBBC and Blue Peter today, it’s horrible and cold, Slimy and grotty, Rank and revolting! This stuff is going to stick and get everywhere for one of those two ladies over there, oh yes! One of them will be getting very messy later. Is Lindsey going to get an embarrassing new form of fame, or will Katie be taught a long overdue lesson of her own? Who know’s, but those words aren’t for decoration, this stuff really does pong quite a bit ladies, be scared! HAHAHAHA!”
It cut to Lindsey, who was now looking very scared as evident to her eyes, eyebrows contorted in pleading and was shaking her head, a little bit of whimpering could be heard. Katie on the other hand was twitching a little, one eye half closed at the thought of the gunge. A muffled, “Ewww” could just about be heard. Dave came back to the teams and lifted up his hands.
“They haven’t really seen the actual gunge in the tank yet though, that will come later – we’re going to save their first reactions for right above the gunge! Without further ado, let’s start of this celebrity edition of Get Your Own Back with out first game!”
The audience cheered loudly as the camera panned out and a title card came on.
-
- Round 1: Trouble Tennis -
-
The camera came back on, showing Dave smiling between the two kids, who were both holding large foam like tennis rackets.
“A brand new game for you here on Get Your Own Back, Trouble Tennis! It’s very simple, our two young contestants here will try to use their novelty tennis rackets to hit their large coloured tennis balls into those big buckets on those scales over there.”
Behind Dave, Callum and Ellie was a mock inflatable tennis court. It had the net just behind them, however the other side wasn’t set out like a traditional court. It had two large buckets, one for each team. They both had a sort of scale that they were sitting on. However in the middle of the court, just behind the net, so nearer to Dave and the kids, were the two celebrities. They were both sitting in large inflatable chairs, meant to parody a tennis umpire’s seat, a bucket of ball pool balls next to them and a small sort of table/hand rest in front of them so they wouldn’t fall out. Instead of their GYOB gear though, both ladies wore clean white tennis shirts and shorts, and were bare footed. Lindsey, who’s red hair stood out against the white, was not moving too much. She was watching her bare feet on the base of the chair. Katie on the other hand looked rearing to go, already juggling a ball and patting her feet up and down.
“But on GYOB nothing is simple. Now to Callum’s right is fame mongering Lindsey, and on Ellie’s left is problematic presenter Katie. They have their tennis balls, well really light ball pool balls, and will be chucking them at the kids. But if you notice, those buckets behind them are on scales. It’s very simple, one of these large tennis balls weighs a lot, and each one into the bucket is 10 points. Each one will add to the weight of the buckets, and then the scale gets below that red mark on the post next to the bucket, it will give one of our celebrities a right horrible sliming! Of course both ladies can’t see the scales so this will be great! We’re all ready here, so all I need to say is, 3, 2, 1, GO!”
Everyone involved moved at once; Callum and Ellie went for their first tennis balls and hit them with the large foam bats, both missing. The two presenters began a barrage of balls at their counterparts, both surprisingly fast and throwing them pretty hard. Callum had already taken a few hits from Lindsey, who had immediatley began to laugh at her little brother. Ellie was working on dodging the balls flying to her from Katie rather than trying to bat her own into the buckets. This was why Callum now had two in his, and she hadn’t even got one about 30 seconds into the game.
“We love new games here at GYOB and this may shape up to be one of my favourites I think! Callum already has a couple in I think – Oh and that’s another! Ellie is doing well though, she has just got her first into that bucket, very good. Now look at Lindsey’s interesting method, she’s throwing two balls at once!”
And it was true. She had began to throw them more consistently, yet Callum was taking them in his stride. Ellie was now getting used to the barrage from her cousin and was getting more of her tennis balls into the bucket than she was at the start. The two buckets were slowly lowering themselves with each ball, and it was due to nothing but the weight of the balls. No tampering involved, the game would only end once one of the buckets would go beyond the red mark on the post. Katie was trying to time her throws in line with her cousins batting, to try and put her off at the crucial moment. And it seemed to be working as Ellie wasn’t getting as many in as Callum.
“Those buckets are dipping quite quick, oh yes not long now! Now what I am going to love about this is neither of our celebrities know where the buckets are up to. For all they know, the kids have missed completely as they cannot hear me! But right now it looks like Callum is a bit closer.”
Lindsey was continuing to flail her arms, throwing the balls left right and centre at her brother. He wasn’t phased still, hitting them like mad. He had around 6 balls in so far or so. Ellie had only 4. Callum batted another and it landed it, the bucket dipping and finally going below the red mark. A light on the pole flashed and he smiled, still dodging a couple of balls from his oblivious sister.
“Callum’s bucket is below the line, the light is flashing, so here comes the gunge!”
Lindsey picked up another ball ready but from above a massive glob of yellow swelled above her. The hapless presenter opened her mouth wide in shock as the first huge blob of slime landed and exploded over her head, spraying out all around her. She jumped, her chair wobbling and slipped back against the back of her seat, disappearing as the torrent of gunge washed over her. Her lovely clean white attire was ruined, her shorts and front getting a right dirtying. It sprayed out slightly again as it fell over her head and features once more, a high pitched scream sounding out to the cheer of the audience and Callum. Her legs caught a bit of a splatter, and her feet were kicking all over the place under the rest of the chair as the gunge kept on coming. Her legs poked out a little more as the big sister slowly slipped and slid a little on the seat, slouched now in the yellow mess and unable to straighten herself up as though trapped. The gunge finally slowed, coming to a trickle. Sprawled low in her chair, slathered in yellow, Lindsey was struggling to get a grip of the sides of her chair. Tongue sticking out a little and gagging, not even bothering to wipe her face of goo, the 23 year old was shuffling pathetically in her seat. Despite trying so much, she couldn’t pull her self back up properly. Katie had been beside herself for the last 30 seconds, and wasn’t caring if Lindsey heard.
“AARGHH. URGHH. UGH, THIS STUFF IS RANK. GOD.”
“Oh you be quiet madame! Alright, alright. Eww, oh no. No, no, that was so messy! Yuck, yuck, yuck! Alright then, well done Callum let’s go over and count the tennis balls. Ok, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 70 points and you bucket got below the post first, well done!”
Callum cheered, taking another look at Lindsey. The redhead had wiped her eyes of the goo, but it still clung to her hair, nose, cheeks, chin and forehead. She was truly plastered, and it looked like someone had chucked a tonne of custard at her, as it blobbed and dripped from her face and hair in slimy looking droblets. She had given up trying to sit back up right, and slumped in her chair with her backside in a puddle of slime, the skin of her cheeks feeling the cold and wetness of it . She had stopped kicking too, placing her relatively gunge free feet onto the foot rest. She regretted right away as she felt a puddle of the yellow stuff, it squelched between her toes, sticky and freezing. Dave had run now to the other bucket.
“Alright, let’s just count this bucket. 1, 2, 3, 4. A good score there, 40 points!”
Ellie cheered loudly, Katie shrugging her shoulders feeling she had done enough.
“Nice job Ellie, nice job. I oh, WOAH, I THINK I’M FALLING!”
Dave faked a comical looking fall, conveniently reaching out to the bucket behind Katie for support. In the spirit of the Dick’n’Dom celebrity special, he intended for none of them to escape clean in this first game.
“I’M OK! Oh woops, it’s Katie’s bucket.”
Katie pieced this together quicker than anyone, looking behind her with a face of disbelief. She looked up quickly and then scrunched up her face bracingly, pinching her nose. The blue hit the top of her head and domed out, going all over the place. Some of it spattered to Lindsey, who was smiling weakly. It continued to dome out, but at the same time rapidly slopped over Katie’s contorted features. The top half of her disappeared, and her white top and shorts were ruined. The blue slime had begun to pool in her lap, and was dripping down her smooth legs and to her toes, puddling in the rest. It continued for a few more moments before finally stopping to a weak stream, spattering over the CBBC star. She took her hand away from her nose and opened her mouth, as though trying to catch air. As the audience continued to laugh, Dave came over. Looking at Katie, who had begun to wipe her face he laughed.
“I’m so sorry about that, Katie, what a horrible accident I -“
“Shut up Dave. Uck, what do you put in this?”
She took her hands away from her face, strands of blue sticking and falling away. It was trickling down her back too, right down to her backside. She shuddered a little at the tingle and shook her head for a moment. Once more, Lindsey caught a bit of goo from her left, strands clashing slightly with the yellow.
“Eurgh. Oi, watch it Thistleton. You’re getting gunge over me.”
“Oops, sorry Lindsey, HERE!”
The audience laughed and cheered as the CBBC desk presenter scooped up a mound of the blue sludge from her lap and lobbed it at a gaping Lindsey. Bang on target, it splattered across the Blue Peter presenters face, the pattering sound followed by a high pitched gasp. Lindsey kept her grossed out expression, and chucked some of her goo at Katie. Katie of course expected it, turning away however still getting a splash of yellow onto the right of her head. The audience was in tears of laughter at the rivalry between the two women.
“Lindsey you look so blue, bit like Peter.”
Katie chuckled at her bad pun, eying a menacing look from Lindsey.
“Just you wait till later, I’ll have the last laugh when you’re in the Gunk Dunk -“
“ENOUGH. Right well the scores are like this! Callum on the yellows has 70 points, and on the blues, Ellie has earned herself 40 points! Well done guys! Lindsey, you better get out and clean up I need you and Callum for this next part!”
Lindsey stared daggers at Dave through the yellow glued on her face, as she was still sprawled and a little stuck in the chair. The audience laughed at this as the title card cut from her poisonous face.
-
- Dave’s SILLY On The Side: Yellows -
-
(Trying some new things out in this special ‘On The Side’. May not be to your taste, but I’m sort of…letting Dave run loose for once and adding to the wackiness of NGYOB)
The shot came on to focus on the green, white and blue of the gunge tank. It did a low and slow sweeping across the tank. It looked mostly the same, however at the edges, some of the colours had blended horribly. Not only that, but it seemed to be leaching onto the walls of the tank a little. It seemed that the heat from the studio lights and having being left untouched was having some small effect on the substances in the tank. The show continued to sweep across it and finally levelled out, swinging over the heads of Dave, Callum, and a freshly showered Lindsey, all three with their backs against the wall of the tank. Lindsey was back to wearing her tight yellow top tucked into her black jean shorts along with wearing her tights. Her hair was like before, but a tiny bit damp from water by the look of it.
“Ah there you all are, this is my bit on the side, renamed today though SILLY on the side. This is my ultimate chance to be a big kid and be silly, with some silly surprises for our Lindsey here! And so first off we have the yellows here.”
Dave was sat in between them, grinning as always. Callum was smiling and seemed to be enjoying the limelight. Lindsey however wasn’t as happy as the others. She was sat right against the wall of the gunge tank, her mouth upturned in a disgusted yet slight expression even though facing the opposite direction from it. Every few moments she wafted or even pinched her nose a little, much to the delight of Dave and Callum.
“Now as always my bit on the side is a little nugget of the show to get to know our characters, however we’re going to put a little spin on it with this edition. Now Lindsey, you love all of your fame, your adoring fans, your glorious image…”
Lindsey had began to waft her hair slightly, fluttering her eyebrows and grinning to certain members of the audience as Dave spoke, playing up her character.
“I’m going to give you three personal questions, which may embarrass you. Fail these three questions, and you will get a new shot at fame. Muahahaha…”
Lindsey simply watched Dave, the smile etched on her face wasn’t true to her reaction, it was simply stuck in shock and nervousness. Callum was smiling, knowing what was in for Lindsey should she fail.
“First up, how long did it take for your hair to return to it’s colour after you died it wrong three years ago?”
Lindsey could feel her cheeks going red a little. She didn’t answer but almost certainly knew what was about to come.
“Remember? This one?”
A photo of a slightly younger photo of Lindsey suddenly popped up. Her mostly red hair was ruing right on one side with a streak of greenish yellow. It looked out of place and the reaction of her in the photo was one of a school girls tantrum. She sighed as she heard the audience laugh, however she couldn’t think of how long it took for her hair to be normal again.
“I think it was, I don’t know. Two weeks.”
“NOPE! Three. You went around looking like that for a whole three weeks! First questions, wrong.”
Lindsey gritted her teeth a little.
“OK, can you show us the exact same dance you pulled at your Auntie’s wedding in February of this year!”
“What you mean da -“
“Dance it out. Yes of course.”
Lindsey didn’t move for a moment, every eye and grin was on her and she was painfully aware of this. But she suddenly overlooked it; she was on GYOB, there was a huge tank of goo behind her that she might (“Won’t,” She thought to herself.”) end up in. What was a little dance?”
“Oh, there we go, she’s doing it!”
Lindsey was doing it, whatever it was. She was doing some sort of horrid mix of the time warp meets YMCA. She was only 30% sure this was her infamous tipsy dance that she had done with some friend of her Auntie’s at the wedding. She could feel every child in the studio laughing discreetly at her and she cringed a little. Dave called time after about 15 seconds and she sat again.
“There.”
“Nope not quite there actually. You did some sort of…weird…I don’t even know. You did the Macarena at the wedding! You’re only complicating it for yourself!”
It was at this point that she realised there was no winning this mini-quiz on herself. She looked at Dave, almost pleadingly as he started his final quiz question.
“OK, finally Lindsey. Didn’t you take a big picture of yourself, wearing hardly any makeup earlier this year. And didn’t your brother find it?”
Lindsey closed her eyes. I knew that no makeup selfie would haunt me to this show…
“If you guess this right, you don’t have to do the forfeit. Answer, what did we do with the photo of your face?”
Lindsey looked all around her, besides from behind at the tank as she didn’t want to see it. She looked at Dave and shrugged hopelessly.
“I’m, not too sure – what did you do?”
Dave smiled, rustling behind him to something he had hidden.
“You failed my little silly on the side quiz, and so you’re going to seem very silly indeed now as a forfeit! Remember how Callum always said he was the butt of your jokes on air?”
Lindsey looked with mild horror and high embarrassment as Dave pulled out a pair of pink jean shorts. But on the back of them however, plastered largely, was the face from her ‘no makeup selfie’. Her photo had a bearing teeth grin, with raised eyebrows, which made a lot of sense in the context to the original photo, but not at all on this pair of shorts. Dave handed them to her and pointed offscreen.
“Your forfeit is to wear those shorts all the way up until before the Gunk Dunk, where later you can change back to the black shorts. But for now Lindsey, Callum is making YOU the butt of his jokes for once – literally!”
The audience cheered and laughed as a stagehand came over to Lindsey, took her hand and led her off, to a changing room to change into the humiliating shorts and sulk. Dave turned to Callum.
“Well done there Callum, because that was your idea wasn’t it?”
“Hehe, yeah. When you said to come up with a forfeit she had to endure for the rest of the show till the Gunk Dunk, I instantly remembered that photo. I then remembered writing in ‘Butt of her jokes’ into my letter and I don’t know how but I got the idea from there.”
Dave nodded and looked up, smiling evilly.
“In ya come Lindsey, in ya come.”
Callum’s older sister walked in from the side, slowly and menacingly looking at her little brother.
“Not…so…so bad.”
Callum was the one to speak up.
“Lindsey, come on, get up and give us a twirl. Up, up, up…”
The audience chanted along and the hapless presenter could do nothing but awkwardly look around, half with a smile on her face. Even though she was mortified, it was rather funny somehow too. At least at the moment, she felt at a later date it could be worse. She moaned out and stood, twirling slowly. Very visible due to her shirt being tucked in, Lindsey Russell’s pink jean shorts had a big face of, well, Lindsey Russell – her – stuck on her bum. The audience cheered like mad at this and Lindsey turned around pouting, not believing what was happening to her.
“Callum what do you have to say to her?”
He simply smiled at Lindsey, who looked at him carefully.
“Try not to get too…BUMMED out sis!”
The audience cheered madly and laughed like crazy at the bad pun, to which the Blue Peter presenter turned around and pouted further, and then going to cry into her hands mockingly.
“Well it was a good silly segment, and a little later on we have a forfeit for Katie to endure, as designed by her lovely cousin Ellie. That one is just as bad, if not worse. But it’s now time for another game, one where you, the audience have a say!”
The audience cheered loudly as the camera panned up and away from the murky tank, Dave and Callum running off screen, along with Lindsey who slumped after them.
-
- Round 2: Spinning Spree -
-
Dave rubbed his hands together as the title card for the next game came away.
“Another brand new game for you here, Spinning Spree, an old adaptation of Squeal on The Wheel.”
Dave stood on a large circle inflatable, reminiscent to the one from the old spider game on classic GYOB. Behind him bouncing, was Ellie, rearing to go. In the middle, there was a bucket filled with some tennis balls. She kept looking up however for some reason and smiling.
“Now it’s pretty simple. Ellie has to get one of these tennis balls here, and hit the target. 10 points for the target being hit. Sound easy? Well it isn’t. This whole inflatable will be spinning at a fairly quick speed, and she has to aim very carefully. But where is her target? Well if we look above us, theres that pretentious presenter Katie Thistleton.”
“I’m NOT pretentious!”
The camera panned up to show the CBBC favourite, dangling on what seemed to be a bungie cord, horizontally facing down toward them. Her arms and legs were outstretched, and she wore overalls coloured yellow which were covered in velcro. She was perfectly safe, but scared to death and her words were little more than a whimper. Katie hated heights, and the current view wasn’t appealing.
“Oh that’s right. Ellie will be throwing these balls up at her cousin, each one that sticks to her will be 10 points. Now Katie, how are you feeling about being suspended up there for you to stop the balls.”
Katie started to make sobbing sort of noises and pleaded with puppy dog eyes at Dave.
“I cannot move my arms. How do I stop them?”
Dave chuckled and rubbed his hands together again.
“Ellie is all set, Katie is suitably terrified – and er Katie did I realise your going to spinning around up there too, that’s how you will stop them! HAHA!”
She suddenly looked at Dave her eyes open wide and mouth in the shape of an ‘O’.
“3, 2, 1 – “
“AGHHHHH!”
Katie’s squeal came out hight pitched as everything began to move. Katie, above had began to spin in the air helplessly. The bottom inflatables were also spinning at a decent speed. Ellie rushed to try and grab a ball, looking up at her cousin for a good shot. She threw and it got Katie right in the leg. Katie though seemed to ignore it and kept on squealing and spinning. Ellie lobbed upward a couple more tennis balls, one missing, the other hitting Katie’s right arm. Once again, Katie didn’t notice as she kept spinning around, Ellie underneath running against the spin of the large inflatable too.
“Now this is a very interesting game so far, I’m loving the squirming from Katie! Hahaha, I think Ellie does too! She’s just got her third ball now, three balls stuck to our Kat – Oh, no four! Ellie’s doing pretty well there, she’s grabbing for another.”
Whilst Ellie continued to throw balls up at Katie, the audience cheered her on. The CBBC presenter however was in a world of her own, still more or less squealing yet somehow still thinking. I cannot believe this, why did I agree to this. WHY. Ohhhh! Ugh, I think Ellie is loving –
“OW – AGHHH!”
The audience chuckled as Ellie managed to hit her cousins helmet with a ball, which funnily enough stuck to some velcro on it. The count down to the end of the game was underway finally though, much to Katie’s relief, although she could barely hear it. Finally though, Katie began to spin slower and she could more or less make out that they were down to three. One more ball however hit her helmet and she wailed in shock again as the audience cheered for the end of the game.
“Alright then, stop, stop, stop. Wow, what a fantastic go on our new game. You seem a bit out of breath there m’love, you ok Ellie?”
“I….yeah…whew. I enjoyed it. It was fun. She screamed so much, like a big baby. Thank you!”
Ellie managed to get out with a struggle, smiling but breathing heavily for air. Dave patted her back and looked around his set.
“It was really good! It worked well! Wow, just need to check it all went in order and all but, uh…think I’m forgetting about something…”
The audience laughed as Dave slowly looked up, Katie frowning down to him, wanting to kill him by the look of her expression. Dave signalled for her to be lowered, and it dropped her a half meter with a quick burst, making her squeal once again. It then slowly lowered her to Dave and Ellie’s height, Ellie whispering.
“Baby.”
“Oh shut up Ellie! I cannot believe you’re making me go through this I -“
“Now now both of you stop arguing! We have to count these tennis balls! Lads, flip her other side up!”
Dave clapped his hands and Katie was turned around so her front was now pointing up. She was dotted in a few tennis balls and Dave counted them off, which for some reason made Katie turn a little red. Here she was, on a kids show, the threat of being gunged later, upside down on a bungie cord thing of some sort, littered with tennis balls and looking like a cry baby to everyone.
“1, 2, 3, 4, 6! Great score, 60 points!”
Ellie cheered and so did the audience, with Dave tapping the bungie cord.
“Take ‘er away lads!”
Katie looked at him.
“Uh..- Oh no no, NO NO – AGH!”
Katie gasped a couple of times as she was turned back over and for a moment stared at the ground. And then, with a strong force she was launched back into the air again upward, screaming as she did. The audience burst out in cheering as the 25 year old was lifted out of the immediate set, squealing as she did.
—
The title card flashed over and then off again, this time to reveal Dave standing with Callum and next to them Lindsey lowered to their height. She was still wearing the embarrassing pink shorts from before, the joke for Callum probably wouldn’t ware off for a while.
“Here we are again now with the yellows, Lindsey are you afraid of heights?”
“Erm, I don’t…think so? I saw all the spinning though that looks scary. I’ll try not to be a cry baby like Katie though.”
Lindsey smiled down at the ground thinking about her friend who had just had her turn. All of a sudden though she was being lifted up and above the large inflatable. It wasn’t even that high, she was feeling confident, even though she couldn’t move her arms or legs and felt it slightly unfair. Probably on purpose for I’m the bad big sister.
“Right, same as before, Callum, get ready to throw those balls! 3, 2, 1, go!”
Everything began to move and Lindsey simply shut her eyes tight. Callum began but missed with his first two balls. His third though was a lucky strike, catching her shoulder. Lindsey peeked an eye open and everything was a blur; it wasn’t even going that fast but she could tell why Katie had screamed a little. It was disorienting and plus she was dangling slightly on all sides as she spun.
“Lindsey seems a lot better at holding her nerve than Katie does! Right, now Callum has just thrown his next ball…and yes, that’s two! He’s got her right on the leg, well done there Callum. Lindsey is still holding her nerve though, I bet Callum is really wanting his sister to squirm!”
Lindsey did finally break a little silence, saying, “Woah!” as a ball flew right past her head, but for the most part she was now used to the spinning, and noticed Callum wasn’t doing well. She smiled, happily and smug.
“Oh my God Callum you’re pretty bad at this, got to say.”
She laughed a little whilst being spun and Callum responded with another ball which this time hit her on the head and stuck. It didn’t lesson her teasing.
“Still a loser though, not doing well!”
The audience had began to count down and Callum was throwing balls up at Lindsey like mad, but none of them were hitting their mark. Lindsey couldn’t stop laughing now, she was in a fit of giggles. She was still laughing as the game ended and Dave came running in.
“Alright stop! Right then well done – Lindsey!”
“What? Haha! What, sorry I can’t stop.”
“Lindsey you should stop laughing, you’re in no place to! Oh she isn’t getting it, right lower her down!”
Lindsey squealed for a moment as it dropped her, but ended it once again with a fit of giggles. It hadn’t phased her, the drop or the spin. It was the total opposite reaction to her rival. Callum seemed to be smiling though, and the situation was having a weird affect on Dave.
“I don’t know if I’ve had many adults on here laughing, they should be crying, not laughing, deary me!”
Dave giggled a little himself and straightened his face a bit as Lindsey quietly laughed to herself.
“Better count these tennis balls anyway, I’m ignoring you Lindsey. 1, 2, 3 … 30 points there, not bad Callum.”
“That’s terrible, such a loser.”
The audience booed and all of a sudden Lindsey was raised up, half laughing half screaming.
“Well I don’t think it was bad, it was tough, well done Callum, don’t listen to her. As we go to the next part of the show though, here are the scores: the yellows have got their way to 100, and so have the blues, also with 100! Right, time for the next round!”
-
- Round 3: Goo Who? -
-
(Normally I treat this as my way to have a vote, messing up who I think deserves it. But this time I couldn’t decide, I left it to coin toss. Gone with dunk tank this time round!)
The camera spun around the audience and came to focus on Dave, Lindsey and Katie. In the background was a classic dunk tank, filled with water and decorated with the GYOB colours. He seemed to be in the middle of talking with them…
“So you have to be warned, it may be a little worse than we planned. Might be slightly thick and bumpy on the top. So just be warned. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, I think it’s hilarious and one of you two will hate it to bits. Oh, also, those recycling bins outside the studio? They aren’t simple put there they’re – OH!”
Dave look at the camera, smiling and waving as it suddenly focused on him, Lindsey and Katie though remained looking shocked and a little grossed out.
“Sorry, was just telling these two that the gunge is a lot worse than we thought it would be. Not a bad thing, so not to bother -“
Both of the presenters started up at once ready for an argument.
“Erm, well actually -“
“What do you mean not a -“
“AH! AH! AH! No talking please, I’m presenting today, not you two! Right now here on GYOB we always like to seem fair … or at least seem to TRY like we’re being fair … right ok we don’t really make it fair on adults at all. But, we do like to offer a chance to redeem themselves a bit. Both Lindsey and Katie here will be given 10 seconds to win you over, repent their sins, or simply angrily protest their innocent. Whatever their style. Then our lovely and unbiased, HA, studio audience will vote for whoever they want to see in the Gunk Dunk later. However, if you both look behind you girls that is a classic dunk tank filled with freezing cold water. We’ll get to that part in a moment, but if I were you, make sure these 20 seconds count, the both of you! Lindsey, dear, you go first, look into camera A over their. 20 seconds, go!”
Lindsey threw up her arms and had a questioning expression on her face.
“This doesn’t make sense. I’m just proud to be a presenter on Blue Peter. OK, maybe I go overboard sometimes, but it’s only because I feel proud to have achieved the status! I promise to relent a little, I’ll stop making Callum the butt of my jokes, simply because I guess I’m the butt of his jokes now, literally. Isn’t that enough? Shouldn’t an annoying, overbearing cousin get – “
A klaxon ended Lindsey’s quick talking protest. Katie was eying her rival closely though and put her hands on her hips and opening her mouth in a shocked smile and nodding.
“Go on, I should get what?”
“A nice cold gunge bath.”
Lindsey said this whilst folding her arms, and then grinned widely, scrunching up her eyes for a second and shrugging.
“Oh sparks are flying, I cannot wait for the next part. But first, you Katie, your turn. Camera C over there, go!”
Katie pointed with both hands to her face and pulled a “Seriously?” expression.
“Do you really think that me, who brings you great shows including this one when presenting, deserves to go in the gunge? I’m simply encouraging Ellie in a good way. Maybe the exams are hard, like, recall the whole 5 minute link from 6th of March BUT STILL. Look at how much Lindsey loves herself and her fame, so big headed! Don’t we all want to see her squirming and covered in -“
The klaxon rang out again and Lindsey started right away.
“BIG HEADED? You think I’m big headed? You act as though you own the shows and this one too! No you don’t! That’s so mean to Dave here.”
“Dave? DAVE is the mean one by agreeing for us to take part.”
Dave simply held his hands up and looked ready for battle.
“Woah, woah! I’m not part of this come on stop! … Good. Oh as a matter of fact by the way, as well as the letters from the kids, there was a poll out of CBBC staff to see who they would most like on the show and you both voted each other…”
Dave grinned like an evil villain as both women started arguing again.
“ALRIGHT STOP! Listen, there’s one way to deal with this. That dunk tank of water behind you is meant to be a simulation, loosely, of the Gunk Dunk later. So I think that whoever is most desired in the Gunk Dunk later by the audience, should test out the simulation!”
Both woman looked behind and then at Dave, not speaking.
“Good that shut you both right up. OK, audience, cheer and scream if you want big headed big sister Lindsey in that muck later!”
“I’m not – “
Her sentence was drowned out though from a huge uproar. Nearly every audience member was on their feet cheering. Lindsey simply put her hands over her mouth. It was loud, very loud. It finally stopped and Dave just laughed.
“Oh right well, erm…well, I think I may know where this ones going but, just in case, if anyone wants the very annoying and overbearing Katie here to end up in that smelly stuff, vote now!”
No one in the audience really made much noise. There was clapping a acheer, but not from them; Lindsey was taking her part in the poor effort to cheer for Katie and hadn’t realised only the ones watching were meant to make noise. She quickly realised this and put her hands behind her back, going red.
“Right, Lindsey -“
“No.”
She pouted at Dave and he clicked his finger. The stubborn Lindsey looked over and saw Callum and even Ellie walking up to her. They each took her hands and marched her backward to the dunk tank.
“Thanks guys, haha! Just while Lindsey gets comfy over there, Katie I’ll explain this chance you have to change the rules. You have three balls. If you hit that little target in the first shot, you add 30 points to the yellows score. Hit it with the second shot, 20 points, and the third, 10 points. In short, you can heighten Lindsey’s chance of being dunked in that gunge later in the show by having a great first shot.”
“Oh goodie.”
Katie took her ball ready as Lindsey positioned herself onto the seat, flashing awkwardly her backside for a moment, her face still plastered onto the novelty pink shorts. Callum and Ellie ran off and Dave smiled to Lindsey.
“How is it Lindsey?”
She dipped her tight covered feet into the pool and shuddered, pulling them out. It was stone cold. Everyone in the audience was watching and getting jittery, but she was more concerned over Katie; her rival was juggling the ball happily and stuck her tongue out whilst she did.
“Cold. And this is a bit embarrassing I have to admit.”
She got comfy and put her fists in her lap, frowning nervously with her eyebrows and gritting her teeth.
“Alright Katie, in 3, 2, 1 – THROW!”
Katie instantly threw the ball hard, and there was a ding. Lindsey watched it go and opened her mouth wide as it hit the target.
“NOO -“
Her quick, pained scream was heard before the splash and she appeared in the window of the tank. Feet crossed, and bent, she looked like she was sitting at the bottom of the tank for a moment. Her freckled face was scrunched up, hair waving as it was suspended in the water. She flailed her arms a little trying to get upward. She then kicked her feet a little, finally finding footing and sprung forward to the glass, placing both hands on it and blowing out a couple of bubbles. She seemed to slip and her face pressed up on the tank, her right cheek mostly and she slid down it a little. It was funny to watch, but finally she managed to shoot upward. The 23 year old burst out of the water, her hair sopping over one side of her face and took a huge audible breath, followed by a few more.
“This is too cold, oh my, I’m so freezing. God.”
The audience cheered a little and Katie took a deserved bow, even blowing a quick kiss to a very wet looking Lindsey, who was getting out of the tank.
“Well done Katie, very good shot, wow. Got her pretty soaked! Right, that’s 30 points added onto the yellows score, meaning they now have 130! Shame she’s now ruined her embarrassing shorts I suppose. Uh oh, I’m out of here!”
Katie turned to look at why Dave ran and was met with a sopping wet Lindsey. Her tight top clung to her body, her waterlogged hair dripping water all over the place and her tights shiny and also dripping a little.
“YOU…Come here.”
Lindsey lurched forward, grabbing her rival and friend and gripped her in a tight hug. The once smug Katie screamed as Lindsey’s wet and freezing body pressed against her, now dampening her too. Her scream was cut short by Lindsey shaking her water drenched hair with in Katie’s face, as the audience cheered and watched what was going on.
-
- Dave’s SILLY on the side: Blues -
-
An ariel shot took over the screen of the infamous tank. It looked on the face of it just like earlier, with the colours blended a bit and a tiny bit of shine coming from it. The whites and green in particular had mixed a little, and were more murky than before. There was tiny bits of brown where it had mixed and come together. This made the tank all the more unappealing. It wasn’t moving, no bubbling or rippling like there was sometimes. It was still as thick as earlier in the show, on the surface but now underneath it had gained thickness too. Unknowingly to all involved of course. The camera edged down to bring itself in front of Dave, Ellie and Katie. Dave was animatedly talking to Ellie, whilst Katie was perched with her hand on her chin looking fed up.
“Here Ellie I tell you what, I cannot wait for the last round. Oh yes! Both of the celebs sitting above my horrid gunge, waiting to be humiliated on TV and become very messy and disgusting! Ohh, they deserve it though. It’s going to be terrible for them, oh yeah!”
Dave quickly leaned to Katie.
“No offence dear.”
Katie simply shook her head, still looking fed up.
“None taken.”
“Right all, welcome again to my silly on the side! Now Katie, when it comes to presenting etiquette I have to say, as a fellow presenter, you aren’t giving the big smile, the right posture, the -“
“Shut up Dave.”
The audience chuckled as she turned away again, looking boringly into the camera, slumping forward to put her elbows on her bare knees and chin back on her hands again.
“Well, er, no! My show, my rules! Now Katie I’m going to ask you three questions, personal ones, and if you fail them I will implement a lovely little forfeit, as thought up by your cousin here. It all could get a little embarrassing for you, be warned.”
“Fine.”
Dave got his cards ready and smiled.
“Number 1, you once packed the wrong swimming suit for a holiday. A christmas present from a relative two years ago. You HAD to wear it on that holiday too but what was on it?”
Katie had gone a little red, and looked around at Dave, eyes wide.
“I…uhm…No, I’m not saying.”
“Well too bad, we have an image of you wearing it anyway!”
“YOU WHAT?”
Katie’s gawping face was replaced with a photo of her, on some beach somewhere, reaching forward angrily by the look of it. Her legs, just as athletic and delicate looking as they were on todays show, on full display. Also on display though was a figure hugging swimming suit, and patterned all around it was cartoon shapes of christmas puddings and crackers. A festive costume, which had obviously been handmade as a sort of funny, lame christmas joke one year. It cut back to Katie, hands over her face.
“Don’t tell me that’s the forfeit.”
Dave disappointed any members of the audience who were hoping this was the case.
“Afraid not, but thank you for the photo, from Ellie’s big brother, your cousin, Michael.”
“I’ll flaming KILL HIM.”
“Next question, now I believe you had a favourite pop song as a kid, kindly sing it for us!”
Katie looked back at Dave, questioningly.
“Now please, before I count this as a wrong answer.”
Katie growled under her breath and began to wail out a strained version of ‘Bring It All Back’ by S Club 7. Dave, Ellie and the audience clapped along as she did, though most where laughing. Towards the end a few moments later Dave stuck his fingers in his ears.
“Wrong -“
“What? No it isn’t…”
Dave checked his card then smiled at Katie.
“This video of you singing ‘Reach For The Stars’ will prove you’re wrong.”
Once again Katie could feel her cheeks burning, as a video of her 7 year old self played out, singing the other famous song. As it ended Katie folded her arms and scowled away from Dave.
“Just one more! Alright, final one. Name the correct dream job you wanted as a kid, that’s listed on my card. And hey, it isn’t presenting!”
Katie just stared, not having a clue what to say. After a few moments Dave looked at his wrist, as though there was a watch there.
“Come on, come on!”
“I…don’t…Uh…what?”
“TIMES UP! Afraid you lost that one, so for the rest of the show, up until the Gunk Dunk, we’re making your dream come true of BEING A CLOWN!”
Katie frowned at the camera and then stood up and walked off grudgingly with the stagehand. Dave turned to Ellie and laughed along with her.
“Now Katie will be a few minutes, Ellie are you looking forward to this?”
“Oh yeah. It will suit her better than her current job I bet. See each christmas it’s a running joke with my family about her wanting so much as a kid to be one. I don’t know why. So that’s why she got that swimming suit even, as a joke. We all buy her joke presents and all. It’s great.”
The show quickly transitioned to a few minutes later and Dave summoned in Katie. Still coloured a bit blue, so as to know her team, a transformed Katie came in from the side. She had red shows on, some red and white stripy socks pulled up to her knees and her hair was in two neat pigtails. She also had some quick face paint thrown on,red circles for cheeks and a novelty red nose. It wasn’t too overboard, but was enough to make her feel a bit stupid – much to Dave and Ellie’s joy.
“Oh wow, look at you, ya’ clown! And your big nose, oh wow, I think I will honk it…”
Dave went to but Katie menacingly bit forward, near his fingers. The host yelped and stood back.
“Woah! Better not mess with this one, she’s a bit snappy today, haha!”
“Ellie, you’re so dead by the way.”
“Yeah right!”
Dave clapped his hands together.
“Right well, it’s nearly time for the Gunk Dunk in a bit, but who will manage to get more of those points to have an advantage? Time to find out as we play our very last game!”
Both Dave and Ellie ran out of shot, and Katie followed them, looking more as though she was chasing them than following.
-
- Round 4: Clean Up Your Act -
-
Across the studio floor, before the Gunk Dunk, there was a large inflatable laid out. In the middle of it, a raised platform, and above that a rail with various bits of clothing on. At the far end was two enlarged washing baskets, one blue, the other yellow. Dave stood in between the kids, both this time wearing pads and helmets for safety.
“Alright then, we have another new spin on an old game here. As you can see behind me, we have a fairly simple washing line with all sorts of clothing, blue and yellow ones as a matter of fact, that will be moving back and forth in the game. All our kids have to do is pick one from the line and run to put it in their corresponding basket. 10 points for each item. Sounds simple, but again, it isn’t! We have our two adults behind me, both Lindsey and our clown there Katie, who will be attempting to bash our kids off course with their mops.
On either side of the raised platform, stood Lindsey and Katie, who was still dressed as a clown. They were on small podiums, and all around them in the inflatable was ankle deep green slime.
“They have to reach over and try and put off the kids but they can’t go too far or they may end up standing in some of the slime below them. Although admittedly it’s not as bad as the Gunk Dunk later on! Everyone know what they have to do? I’m going to get this fantastic new game off to a start, three, two, one, CLEAN UP YOUR ACT!”
Dave ran off as both kids ran in, collecting an item from the line above as they did. Callum however suffered a blow right away, just after picking up a yellow sock. His sister had waved the mop she had right in front of him, causing him to fall and drop the sock into the slime below. Ellie had managed to dodge a similar attack from her cousin, and was already picking her next item off the moving clothes line as Callum stood up.
“Callum suffering a setback early on there, shame but that’s the game! Oh that rhymes, haha! OK, Ellie has just put her second item now into the basket, she’s going very fast. Mind you so is Callum. Both of these kids are desperate to get those points for the Gunk Dunk. And woah! By the looks of it Lindsey is also desperate not to go in it! She’s stopped poor Callum again!”
Before he could get his third item, Callum had once again fallen as a result of his sisters waving of her broom. She laughed, almost maniacally as Callum raised himself, picking off his next item. Ellie meanwhile was having an easy time due to the fact Katie was being too careful on her podium, the ooze below her seeming to unnerve her. Ellie picked her fourth item and ran back, whilst Callum negotiated the broom again with his third, however slipped on a fallen piece of clothing from before.
“Oh God, not again! He isn’t doing well in this round. His sister is loving it though. Ellie though is doing very well, she has dodged all the, well lame, attack from Katie there, I think she has more than Callum. Getting her sixth one I believe now, she is going pretty fast. Callum is getting one too just as Ellie is.”
The countdown had begun to the end of the game, and Callum was being blocked by the broom of his sister, whilst holding his fourth clothing. Ellie ran past him easily with her seventh and managed to throw it in the basket as the countdown got to three. Lindsey continued to laugh as the countdown ended with the klaxon, having clearly far too much fun with her broom.
“Alright stop, stop, Lindsey! Stop!”
The Blue Peter Presenter looked over to Dave whilst stretching out her broom.
“What, oh fine – agh, hey – AGH!”
Callum had grabbed the broom, pushing it toward his sister a little, causing her to shriek and wobble on the podium. After a moment or so, she slipped backward off of it, landing with a small watery splash into the ankle deep goo. She sat there, mouth open in bewilderment and disgust, pulling up her hands. The goo stringed away off of them, and she looked down at her feet. The bottom of her tights were splashed with the slime, goo clinging to them. She lifted a foot out of it, the slime squelching a little under her foot and bits of it stringing off of her toes. As Dave spoke up, she got up and stood there, ooze dripping down from her soggy behind, all down her tights and back into the goo which came up to her ankles, and looking down, she realised unhappily that this was her last pair of tights.
“Well I would say that’s against the rules but then again, there are no rules really on this show! Katie, you seem to have done well not to fall off unlike Lindsey.”
Katie held her arms out, smugly in thinking of her friend.
“Well I’m clearly not as clumsy as her. I must be better at these – WOAH HEY!”
As she held her arms out, broom too, her cousin took hold of it and yanked it toward her. With another splash, Katie half fell, half stepped forward into the gunge. With a similar expression to what Lindsey had pulled she stood there in the goo, feeling it freeze her bare feet and it’s wetness in between her toes.
“EWWWWW. God – WOAH!”
As she pulled a slimy foot out to look at it, she wobbled and slipped on the spot, falling on her backside with a splosh. It splattered all over her legs, and even on her made up face a bit. Unlike Lindsey though she sat there, deciding not to move again and simply folded her arms, sitting in a sulk.
“Oh my my, these two are so clumsy! Right well I’m going to cross this platform here…watch out for the socks dangling, woah! Haha, OK, here we are. Callum let’s count yours first. 1, 2, 3, 4..not bad. 40 points there! Well done, OK, and to this basket. Ellie here’s yours. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. Very good score there, 70 points!”
Both of the kids cheered, Callum a little less happily than Ellie though, thinking of his poor performance. One glance at his slightly green and messy sister though made him smile a little.
“Alright, those final scores look like this! The yellows have 170 points, and tied with the same number, the blues have 170 as well!”
Again, both kids cheered as the camera focused on Dave.
“Now both of our ladies over here are a little bit messy, and they’re going to go clean up. Katie’s going to get all that clown stuff off of her too, and we will be back for the finale. And you think they’re messy now? That’s NOTHING compared to how one of them will end up, time now, for The Gunk Dunk! HAHAHAHA!”
Dave held up his arms to the heavens, laughing maniacally as the camera pulled up, zooming forward to the ominous Gunk Dunk set in the background, just before the title card changed.
-
- The Gunk Dunk -
-
(Again, just to note, I made my own creative choice to remove the ‘troughs’ on this episode. It seemed maybe too overwhelming. May rework them into some games in future episodes.)
Katie shuffled her feet a little on the footrest, looking over the mire in front of her to the audience and crew, who were preparing for the final part of the show. She felt the chilliness of the footrest and some of the cool air on her legs too as she placed her hands on them. She looked over to Lindsey. Lindsey tried to get comfy on her chair, shivering slightly. After her last pair of tights being ruined in the final round, she had no choice but to go barelegged and barefooted for her time above the gunge. Due to this, she was feeling a slight bit more of a chill, although it was possibly due to the sight in front of her. She looked over to Katie.
“I’m having second thoughts.”
“Oh really? I had second thoughts after the first game, that…stuff that covered you looked gross. I didn’t realise they were so, well, detailed – is that the right word – with all the gunge on this show.”
Katie looked past her red painted toenails, to the gunge below, her hair no longer in pigtails but instead worn straight, and all of the makeup from before was gone. It was the first time either her or Lindsey had gotten a proper look at it this close. She could feel an icy breeze seemingly come off it, not really helping with her nerves. Overall in her mind it was just a mess of all types of gunge. The green looked like a very thick custard or mud, the blue for Blue Peter was more slime looking with some of it looking wet. And then finally there was the white puddles, looking like marshmallow fluff, or curdled cream of some sort. That was the type of gunge she was closest, a large puddle of course right underneath her chair comically reading, “Kick Katie In”. Lindsey was more concerned with the odour coming up to her nostrils, reminding her of a fishmongers in a supermarket or something. She was equally concerned with the hundreds of eyes watching her, and the cameras. She was usually used to a bit of silliness on Blue Peter but the thought of being chucked headfirst into a large tank of plain nastiness was getting to her a little. Both ladies were understandably nervous and disgusted, by the sheer variety – albeit horrible variety – and equally both of them couldn’t really keep too still, something which Dave was quick to pick up on as he got to his podium after the music for the round start ended.
“Well here we are! A special, revolting Gunk Dunk to fit the themes of the two adults, two eager children – well maybe three if you count myself – and two very, scared and remorseful looking celebrities.”
Remorseful was an understatement, as Callum got to his podium Lindsey had turned to him and pulled a pleading face, shaking her head. Katie had opted to babble some sort of rushed apology over and over. They were both playing it up a little bit naturally, but then again they both had the same thought – they really, really didn’t want to end up going in the gunge. Dave turned to the Blue Peter presenter to pick on first.
“LINDSEY!”
She jumped on the seat, turning to face Dave. Hunching up a little, digging her fingernails into her knees and curling her toes, which were painted purple, around the seat for extra grip.
“Now Lindsey Callum here, he’s, he’s had enough of all your fame mongering, writing signatures in the streets, being a bit big headed and all…”
Lindsey nodded away, pulling another remorseful face as she took in the sickly sight before her.
“He might have the chance soon to make you even more famous! Just what you wanted isn’t it?”
“Well…maybe. But um, not really in this way.”
“Oh no?”
“Well no I don’t wanna get all messy and, hair messed up and gunged up just so I can appear in embarrassing photo’s on the internet. You say famous, but for all the wrong reasons.”
“I’d consider it an honour to be on another of the top kids shows in the UK right now!”
Lindsey looked down at her toes and mumbled.
“Not from where I’m sitting.”
Dave laughed and looked to Callum.
“Callum do you think your sisters paying the price for her annoying obsession?”
“Yeap. I’m enjoying this, but I’ll enjoy it more when YOU are covered in that!”
He pointed to Lindsey with the last part of the sentence, and then down to the tank below and rubbed his hands. Lindsey looked away frowning, feeling a bit of embarrassment at being tormented by her little brother like this.
“Aw now Katie, lovely Katie. Right from the star you’ve been saying that you don’t deserve this, that all you are trying to do is help Ellie over there. I don’t think she’s really wanting to be a presenter y’know.”
Katie listened to Dave, a worried look etched upon her face. She then turned to her cousin.
“Listen Ellie, I’m sorry. You don’t have to be a presenter, I’ll stop pestering you and being annoying with it. Promise I will. Just please, don’t go through with this – I’ll never live it down, especially from Hacker in the office.”
“Now, now Katie you can’t – “
She pointed at Dave without taking her eyes off Ellie, who was shaking her head and stroking the lever.
“I’ll come to you in a minute Dave, quiet.”
“Oh – sorry!”
“Ellie -“
“Too late ‘Cuz’. You’re going down.”
“No I’m not. I’m not going in there.”
Katie looked away and to the gunge in front of her, hoping the words would ring true as Dave started up again.
“You finished? Oh good. I’m not meant to have favourites but the way you’ve been gobby with me today Katie, I wouldn’t be sorry if you ended up in there! Right now this should all be familiar to you by now, I’m going to ask a series of questions. Each time either Callum, or Ellie get one right, we will wind their celebrity up and away from the gunge in front of them. The first of our presenters to reach the top, will be going down, into this lovely themed slop. Now because there was a tie in the points, we won’t be sending any of our adults up a notch this time. So will Lindsey be launched off or will Katie be kicked into the goo instead? Let’s find out – cannot wait for this!”
It showed a low camera angle of the whole scene right at the surface of the gunge. Lindsey was still digging her fingers into her now bare knees and clenching her toes around the seat. She was looking worryingly from Callum to Dave. Katie was simply tapping her feet on the foot rest and playing with her hair by her right shoulder, watching the gunge below with a nervous look.
“Right, what children’s character has a best friend called Piglet – Straight away Ellie!”
Ellie confidently leaned forward on the podium as Katie flicked her eyes to her and then back to the gunge, continuing to play with her hair.
“Winnie the Pooh.”
“Winnie the Pooh, correct, Katie the first to go up is you!”
It’s only the first question. Only the first. Katie kept calm as she felt the vibration and clatter of her chair lifting up slowly away from the end of the ramp. It stopped with a loud clang and she looked at Ellie who was smiling at her.
“It’s only one and that was a dead easy question. No need to get excited.”
Dave cut in.
“Hey you’re one notch up right now that’s not very good for you.”
Katie shrugged as Dave continued.
“Name a day of the week beginning with ‘S’.”
At this both kids pressed their buttons, but once again it was the blue buzzer that got in there first.
“Saturday.”
“Yep, easy one, Saturday there of of course you could have had Sunday. Got it right, what do we do with her cousin.”
The audience responded with their usual answer as once again Katie’s chair lifted up. Lindsey felt a bit of relief coming to her, dropping her shoulders a little and loosening the grip on her knees. She smiled as Katie looked up to the spotlights, doing a bad job at pretending she didn’t care anymore. The blonde kept playing with her straightened hair until she noticed Lindsey and pointed across at her.
“Don’t think your safe. You’re the one who’s going in that stuff. Come on Callum pull your finger out.”
“He’s rubbish at quizzes. Katie I think you’re heading in love.
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
Dave chuckled.
“I love a bit of rivalry here on GYOB, don’t you? Hey Callum come on, you want to give your sister that fame she wants so badly you need to get some of these right. Here we go…”
Katie put her hands in her lap and looked down once again at the gunge. The greens and blues were all overlapping and mixing with each other, brown bits starting to form. She couldn’t help but feel like whoever went in, was going to get it worse than usual. The green would cake whoever fell in, the blue would slather them and the white looked sticky. She reached a nervous hand up to her hair again at the thought of it and then jumped as she heard the blue buzzer.
“The Hulk.”
“That’s right, Bruce Banner is the Hulk, mr angry – hey we might have mrs. angry over here in a second. What do we do with Katie.”
“Ugh, nooo. OK hang on wait, please Ellie, I promise I won’t give you exams inpresenting or nothing…or or…”
The seat rumbled up with Katie, shuffling on her seat and barely keeping still. She pointed at Ellie as it clanged to a halt, shaking her head and desperately thinking of plea’s.
“Or…I won’t come and humiliate you in front of class anymore! I promise!”
“Katie it’s too late for promises dear, you’re on track for humiliation yourself. Hey but you better not count yourself down and out for the count Lindsey.”
Lindsey frowned and simply shook her head at Dave. She was still at the bottom and Katie was now three up. She was confident.
“No, no. I won’t steal the spotlight off of Kate.”
“Oh blimey. Is that a cured case, for once she doesn’t want all the fame! OK, I’m carrying on. What is 3 x 4?”
It was all silent for a moment. All of a sudden a bell rang out and the yellow podium finally lit up. Lindsey let out a quick, long whimper as it did, raising one or two laughs from the audience.
“Is it 12?”
“It is. See told you, you shouldn’t be too smug! What do we do with Lindsey?”
Again the audience answered as the presenter was taken up to her first notch. She once again now dug her fingers into her knees and her toes around the chair. She closed her eyes tight as it stopped.
“There we go, not as confident now eh?”
“Serves her right for being smug.”
Katie quipped down to her rival her turned and pointed at Katie.
“That shouldn’t be allowed! It’s off putting and mean!”
Dave laughed again.
“You know you two could go on for hours. It is allowed Lindsey because it’s funny!”
“Oh whatever.”
The defeated 23 year old turned away and crossed one leg over the other, folding her arms too.
“Oh, looks like she’s going to have a bit of a sulk. Fair enough, next question.”
Lindsey scowled at her brother, and then stuck her tongue out at him. Katie meanwhile was tapping her toes up and down repeatedly on the seat, and had gripped her chair with her hands. Once again, the smell was wafting up to her and she closed her eyes looking away.
“Our sun is made up mostly of what?”
Again there was a pause and silence, but Katie zipped her eyes open as her cousin’s blue podium lit up.
“UGHH!”
“Gas I think.”
“It is gas that’s right, mostly a big ball of gas. Up you go Katie!”
“Ohhh.”
Katie didn’t know what to do, but feeling all eyes in the audience watching her, she simply slumped forward, elbows on her knees and covered her face. She also nudged her feet next to each other, putting the sole of her right foot onto her right, toes touching. She slowly shook her head, knowing she was only one away – something which to her annoyance, Dave teased her about.
“Ohh she doesn’t look too happy anymore to be here. All Ellie has to do is answer one more question correctly, and Katie’s dream of staying dry is over! Hahaha!”
“Ughhh.”
Katie didn’t look up, resigning to murmur in a frustrating muffle.
“The A-Team is a song by which British singer s – ELLIE!”
“Nonononono.”
“Shush, Ellie?”
“Ed Sheeran -“
“NO. NO.”
Katie continued to muffle her protests through her hands and shook her head. All of a sudden she could almost feel the coldness of the gunge below her, not to mention she could smell it. He cheeks were on fire and her back was starting to tingle. She slumped further forward on her chair, pressing her toes into the top of her other foot on the rest.
“No, no, please -“
“Ed Sheeran…is absolutely right of course! Katie, you know what this mean -“
“Ugh, God. No.”
The audience yelled their usual chant and her chair began to roll upward. Lindsey\s mood was completely changed. Grinning like a cheshire cat and fist pumping, almost doing a dance on her seat. She yelled with the audience as they chanted their response and clapped as she watched her rival hit the top notch. It stopped for a moment, Katie peeking through her hands. With a shudder it rolled straight backward onto it’s usual perch. The suddenness of the jolt paused her to shriek and grip her seat again, though still slumped forward a little. It stopped at the back of the small platform and Katie didn’t move, frozen in place, gasping again as klaxons and lights went off all around her.
“Lovely stuff! Oh yes, cannot wait for this. Katie, you stay right up there, where you belong. We will deal with you in a few moments time, just enjoy the view for a moment!”
Katie simply looked at Dave, horror etched on her face, and then back down to the gunge which she could only just see beyond the edge of the tack. She was still slumped forward, gripping her chair, but finally leaned backward. Covering her face again she seemingly looked to be crying into her hands, and once more leaned forward, crossing her left leg over her right one and resting her elbows on her knee. Ellie was doing some sort of little fist pump dance herself, watching her deflated cousin cringe and come to terms with her predicament.
“Well Katie is at the top, but you Lindsey, you’re nearly at the bottom. You’re safe and dry, and you won’t be heading into that stuff below.”
“Oh good. Oh, thank you Dave so much. I cannot believe I’m here still but oh man, so happy to be safe. I don’t think green, blue and white would have been my colour or anything, It would have got everywhere, ruined my hair, there would be photos and videos on the net – nah, I’m so happy.”
“Well, haha, wow you sound it, you sound very relieved. Callum I’m sorry you didn’t get to give her the ultimate comeuppance, but she got messy earlier and well, have you had fun?”
“Yeah I have. I think I can maybe threaten her with the Gunk Dunk again now if she continues to be a pest.”
Lindsey laughed at this and relaxed on her chair a little putting her hands on her knees.
“I may lay off a bit to be honest. I think I’ve actually learnt my lesson Dave.”
“Oh well, wow there you go, got annoying pests? Bring em on here, we can cure them. Look thank you for being a good sport and coming on the show. Will you enjoy this next part do think?”
“Oh yeah, definitely. That gunge is waiting for her. Going to love this!”
“Better get on with it then. Ohhhh Katie, you know what’s about to happen!”
Dave spun round to the 25 year old on her chair. She was in the same position as she was a moment ago, but leaned back, brushing her hair back over from her forehead and looked at Dave.
“N – n – no. No! No look please, I promise not to be annoying anymore Ellie -“
Dave simply shook his head and turned to an unforgiving Ellie.
“Ellie, please! Don’t make this happen, ELLIE!”
Katie uncrossed her legs and placed her hands in a praying fashion on her chest. The gunge below was fully on her mind, a deep pit in her stomach and her face feeling red due to all the eyes and smiling faces watching.
“Ellie, don’t -“
“Ellie, you’ve got her this far -“
“No-“
“This is your cousin, a famous CBBC presenter. She pesters you all day long, gives you exams and even turns up at your school to embarrass you. You’ve got her here, to the top of that ramp even. But do yourself a favour, teach her one lesson she will never ever forget. Give her a new style to present in – a horrible sticky and smelly one she can drag back to the CBBC office! It’s now your chance to embarrass her, PULL THAT LEVER, GET YOUR OWN BACK!”
Without any hesitation Ellie yanked the lever back with force. At the top of the ramp, Katie had gone silent, the chair rolling forward toward the edge. She watched on wide eyed, her hands clutching at her face as it got closer. Her heart was thumping like mad, in front of her the track was getting smaller and she could see the edge of the far end of the tank, the blue slime latching up to the sides of it. Just before the seat came to the edge though, it stopped for a moment. Katie took one last look at the gunge, before placing her knees, legs and feet tightly together, and putting her hands on her knees. She closed her eyes tightly, her face contorted in a half bracing, half repulsed expression. With a lurch, the chair fell, Katie and all. It whipped down the ramp quickly, going past Dave and Ellie and toward the bottom. From the sides, a sticky white substance like that in the tank sprayed her, straight away caking the sides of her legs. It was freezing, and gooey, slathering where it had gotten her. In shock, Katie opened her mouth wide, but kept her eyes closed and her posture the same, not even making a noise.
“YESYESYYES!”
Her seat slowed for a moment just before the first notch, as Ellie took in the view right in front of her. Her cousin was still getting sprayed by some white when a huge torrent of pink fell from the sky. It cascaded all down her mostly untouched blonde hair, spraying out a bit as it covered her shoulders and spattered the top of her legs. It dribbled down her forehead a little as the seat continued, almost as quickly as it had come down the ramp beforehand. With the sudden splattering of stringy and cold stuff from above, as well as the chair beginning up again, Katie’s open mouth finally yelled a deep, grossed out sound.
“EURGHH – AGH!”
The chair hit the bottom of the ramp with a clunk, and sprang a messy Katie from her seat. Hair arms grasping for some sort of help that wasn’t there in front of her, she closed her mouth just before she collided with the surface of the gunge. She landed spread eagled, facedown in the middle of the unpleasant mix of green and white with a low thud, and for a second, she lingered on the surface. Her cheeks my have been on fire but all she could feel down the whole of her front was coldness, her legs already felt sticky from the white and her arms and head were heavy with the stuff. She tried to rip her head upward but found herself slowly moving under, much to her disgust. With a revolting sucking sound, her arms and hands were soaked up into the mire. Her head, which was shaking and moving around as though she was trying to pull her face back up disappeared in around 3 seconds, along with the rest of her. Finally, her two legs fell under the white, kicking pathetically slow and a large sort of belch was heard as her feet vanished thickly.
“Oh my God…ahaha, oh my.”
Lindsey covered her mouth, not able to contain her giggles as she watched the shapely, yet disfigured outline of where Katie was get splattered with even more pink slime from above. The gunge barely even rippled as it was hit with helpings from above, being that thick. Over on the podium, Ellie was clapping and cheering like made, Dave was simply watching in awe and the audience were also making a noise of celebration. Underneath it all, Katie could feel what had happened with the gunge unpleasantly. Half of it, the top half, had nearly all but solidified into a muddy texture, but like ice in a lake, the bottom half was a churned up mess of all the colours. It was still pretty slimy and cold, feeling the gunge already filled her top and shorts. Her clothes were ruined, her toes scrunched up as she stuck below the surface. After what seemed an eternity, she finally let out the breath she had quickly been holding and slowly moved upward.
“Ellie! Ellie! I mean, wow, did she go in or what, you got – oh here she comes!”
To the laughter of the audience once again, bubbles popped on the surface, as Katie broke upward. Not that it looked like her, where she shot up from, the green gunge caked her, and she brought up a lot of it stuck to her. There was a huge mound of green stuck to her head, some of it falling it droblets down her front. Her face was nowhere to be seen, her hair had fallen in front of it and was glued to it by layer upon layer of green and blue. It was as though someone had made a sort of green cake batter, incredibly thick and just hanging to her. There was a bit of white on her shoulder, but mainly the blue and green covered. She slumped backward a little, dipping lower in the tank so that she was up to her shoulders. She didn’t even bother taking her hands out of the gunge fully to wipe her face, which no one could even see anyway with too much of the gunge and her hair over it. She had it scrunched up, mouth closed and not wanting to move. She could feel everyone, and even the nation, which wouldn’t see the episode for a little while, staring at her. She was also overpowered by the stench suddenly, and finally brought a gloopy hand to pinch her nose for a moment as she gagged. Up above, Dave continued on.
“Eurgh…oh wow, it’s like a swamp monster or something, she is totally covered there. Totally – woah!”
One of the cannons in front of Katie acted up, splurging her with what looked to be like yellow custard. Hitting her straight in her face, she barely reacted as it gave her a new layer of gunge to cringe at. It continued to cover her front as Dave continued once more.
“That is so nasty, oh man. Ellie, your cousin – she was always teaching you lessons you didn’t want, embarrassing you in front of all your mates at school even. Well her look, I’d say you certainly embarrassed her in spectacular fashion today. She is a right state! How do you feel?”
“I FEEL AMAZING! THANK YOU! I cannot believe this, this is like, it’s like a dream come true. I feel so happy!”
The youngster was clapping with glee as she watched the cannon slowly come to a stop. Katie was beginning to scrape the gunge from her face, opening her eyes to the world and wiping her lips. There was a sound from above and a spattering of blue slime fell from the sky, helping to actually wash a little of the thicker green off of her. She screamed and quickly covered her face with her still moderately messy hands. It domed out a little, raining down in drops over her hands and down her side. Her hair, once blonde and lovely was now matted and hung in a messy slump, slathered in all sorts of gunk, glued to her shoulders, ruined completely.
“Wow, Lindsey I bet you’re happy not to be on the receiving end of that.”
“Totally, it looks foul. She looks disgusting, and boy…whew, does she stink now! Haha! Great to watch!”
“Indeed it was! Callum, Ellie, you both get fantastic prizes, a photo album of your time here on Get Your Own Back, and Lindsey you have a certificate to say you won’t be so obsessed with fame in the future, you ok with that?”
Lindsey looked down smiling at her rival, who had once more finally scraped her face clean and was wading awkwardly and with difficulty through the thick gunge to the edge.
“Oh I think I can manage that no problem.”
She watched and laughed as Katie slipped a little, falling forward and face down into a patch of green. Her brightly coloured head stuck on the surface for a moment until she pulled up her freshly coated face with a squelch and had to wipe more of the stuff off of her once more.
“And as for you down there Katie, you can go back to the CBBC office looking like that. Can’t wait for the next time you present! Hahaha! Oh by the way we have a visitor for you!”
“Hiya Katie – oh, eurghh!”
It cut to a shot from the front of the tank, of Katie’s on screen partner, Hacker T. Dog coming up to the side of it. Much like Otis the Aardvark had done years earlier when Kisten O’Brien had found herself in the Gunk Dunk, he began teasing his slimy friend.
“Eurgh, well we were meant to be presenting silly. Oh, can’t bring you on now. You look horrible! And you smell horrible, oh man! I brought you a lovely present for winning, but I don’t know if you did win, anyway here you ‘ave it!”
Katie simply watched her presenter, looking mockingly like she might strangle him. She opened her mouth to quip back but suddenly went wide eyed at her ‘present’. Hack threw what seemed to be a thick looking pie right into Katie’s gawping face. She slumped backward slowly not moving in mock shock as Hacker shook his head and trotted off screen.
“That was nice of him! Nice little present there for Katie, aw how kind! Right well that’s all we have time for here on this special celebrity episode, we will be back very soon with more of those gruesome grownups, oh yes! From me, Callum, Ellie, Hacker, a very dry Lindsey and a very messy Katie down there, good byee! Ohh!”
The audience cheered as it zoomed out, Katie, who had taken the pie tin away from her and was beginning to rub her eyes disappeared under a torrent of fresh pink from above, the slimy stuff doming out over the sides of the tank a little. She could feel it sticking to the stuff she was already coated in, cursing under her breath for a moment. She placed a hand on her head, feeling her ruined and gunge logged hair and thinking of how long it would take until it would be clean.
-
The titles came away, showing an after show set up skit. Katie was still in the gunge up to her shoulders, wiping bits of her hair and face. Lindsey was sat on a stool beside the tank, looking smug and happy.
“So I think you owe me, £10 for not ending up in the goo. Oh and I’d help you out but I don’t want to get my hands dirty. Oh, erm…ew.”
She looked away and pinched her nose as Katie came closer to the wall of a tank a little. Lindsey looked around and smiled, as Hacker trotted in from the side.
“Hiya Lindsey! Well done for winning, Katie looks in her rightful place there, haha! Katie I’ve come to tell you, you’re not allowed to present looking like that. You’re not presenter material, you’re going to be wheeled out with the rubbish in 5 minutes because you look and smell like rubbish. Sorry!”
Lindsey laughed, covered her mouth as Katie tried to answer Hacker.
“B – b – but…I…”
“Ah shut ya mush! Oh and Lindsey I have a present for you for winning!”
Lindsey looked down at Hacker smiling.
“Oh thank you! You really didn’t have – wait -“
With mock terror she began to shake her head at Hacker, realising what he might do.
“No, no, really, you don’t have to you – MPH!”
Hacker a similar pie that he had from earlier right at Lindsey’s pleading face. It fluffed out a bit at the side, silencing her and large globs of cream fell down her yellow top, dropping onto her legs. Hacker waved at the camera and tottered away as Lindsey pulled the tin away, spitting out cream. She let out a few frustrated gasps and the camera zoomed out on her as she started to wipe her face a little.
“Ewww. That’s…not fair.”
She began to cry, jokingly of course for the camera as Katie watched and laughing at her side in the tank. As the camera pulled out, it showed Dave watching from a distance and then turning to the camera.
“I guess everyone gets their, ‘Just Desserts’ here on GYOB! Join me very soon for an all new series as I make some of YOUR adults get theirs!”
Dave wandered off screen, showing the two celebrities in the background, Lindsey wiping her face, but Katie undoubtedly in a worse predicament, the layers of gunge coating her starting to thicken and curdle a bit whilst she was still stuck in the tank.
—
Come on Dave, what a bad joke…
Well there you have it! You voted for Katie and she got once, pretty horrible gunging! Thanks for all that voted, hope it delivered!
As Dave told you, a new series will come soon. I have many letters archived, plenty of episodes to come. I may do another celebrity episode at the end of the next series.
Just want to link you to this blog quickly, I read these GYOB stories the other night and loved them, different style of GYOB writing. If you enjoy my series, no doubt you’ll enjoy these good pieces of work -
http://dampland.tumblr.com/post/106001522956/gyob-by-a-friend
http://dampland.tumblr.com/post/106001394356/3yob-by-me
See you soon!
-MsM
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hat these balloons were anchored by a thin piece of string held clasped between the upper and lower teeth of each contestant. The whole picture became clear – each student had their remaining clothes in the clear plastic bag, they were utterly naked under the frosted glass and their closed mouths were the only thing preventing their clothes from floating away into the roof of the dingy studio. The darkened silhouettes of each contestant was tantalizingly visible under their mostly panic stricken faces.
