Hello Telly gunge. It’s playtime. It’s been a while since I’ve published on here. I was working on a third pancake day a while back, the eagle eyed might have even spotted a reference to it in my Paradise by the Christmas Light series, where I mentioned it was to be set on cruise ship.
That was the initial plan, but at around the halfway point I was struggling and loosing interest. In hindsight I realize I had over complicated things with the complexity of the traps, and having too many characters featuring in each scene. In the end I took a break, and considered a few options, like trying another plot-line, but in the end I did return to the original idea, but I simplified the set up quite a bit, reducing the number of characters in each scene, and using new traps, which kept more in line with the pancake series so far, and thankfully I’ve now been able to get almost to the end.
I may go through the rejected version at some point, and see if there’s anything I want to publish in a deleted scenes special. For now though here’s the first part of the third pancake day series. You don’t necessarily need to have read parts 1 and parts 2 to read this, but it would help in knowing the characters and set up better, and there are a few spoilers for the previous parts here, so you might want to check them out if you haven’t already.
Scene 1:
The camera pans around an opulently decorated ballroom. Starting with the period fireplace, before sweeping past a number of antique oil paintings, and along the old walnut floor, until it reaches something distinctly out of place. Kneeling down is a woman in a revealing black cocktail dress, showing off a generous amount of her sun-bed brown skin. She has long black hair, and make up precisely applied to her face to give an artificially beautiful look. Currently she is struggling with two thick leather straps, one wrapped around her ankles, another just above her knees, thus forcing her to remain on her knees. Completing her imprisonment is a long chain, running from the higher strap, along the floor to a large steel ring attached to the ground. The camera cuts close and we see 6 padlocks, each attaching a link of the chain to the ring. We then hear footsteps, and a familiar voice.
Porcelain: Hello Chloe. It’s playtime.
The camera cuts to the familiar site of Princess Porcelain. She’s wearing a bright red PVC ball gown, that spreads out from her waist down to her ankles, just above her 5 inch stiletto boots. Above her waist it clings on tightly to her torso, and her arms, all the way to her wrists. Her hands are adorned by red satin gloves, decorated by a large bow. Her torso is decorated by a black lace ruffle, that goes from her waist, up to her breasts, where the black lace provides a little modesty to her amply exposed cleavage. Her hair has been dyed bright red with black hi-lights, and has had a lot of curl stylised into it, and hangs down freely way past her shoulders. Her face has been decorated with the familiar face paint of a sinister Victorian doll, painted white with perfect blue eye shadow, rosy pink cheeks, and Betty Boop like cherry red lips.
Chloe: Who are you? Never mind, just help me out of these straps.
Porcelain: Why would I do that after all the trouble it took to get you here.
Chloe: You did this! How?
Porcelain: Let me refresh your memory. You’d just been the first person to be eliminated on the Princess, “the reality show where seven beautiful celebrities compete to show they deserve to be called The Princess” and were being led away when you and your staff were all hit by a load of chlorofoam spray.
Chloe: What?
Porcelain: Chlorofoam spray.
Porcelain produces a black aerosol canister from her bag, and presses the nozzle. A torrent of thick white spray comes out. It cuts to Chloe as her dress is covered in a thick layer of white foam.
Chloe: Let me go now, or I’ll see to it you pay.
Porcelain: Handy stuff this chlorofoam spray. One of Gary’s inventions. I’m still a sucker for the more traditional pie, but there are times when this is a lot more practical.
Chloe: Hey! Stop ignoring me.
Porcelain: I’d tell you to stop being an attention whore, but I suspect that’s a lost cause. Now where was I? Oh yeah, we had you all chlorofoamed and we brought you here for a little play session.
Chloe: What? Hang on? Are you that psycho Athena was telling us about? Princess Porcelain?
Porcelain: I see my reputation proceeds me. Less of the psycho though.
Chloe: What? Why? What do you want with me? I only know Athena briefly from my week on the show. Why not go after her?
Porcelain: Well it wouldn’t be much of a show if I only went after one person. Especially when the producers have collected together such a fine collection of playmates. A two face bitch like you is such an obvious playmate.
Chloe: What are you talking about?
Porcelain: You spent all week being nice to everyone to their face, only to slag them off behind their back to anyone who listens. It’s no wonder you were voted off first. After hearing your leaving speech I wanted to import a load of bullshit from the local farm so you could see what it’s like to be deluged by it. Sadly we had to act immediately, so we’re sticking with the original plans, have you seen the amazing chandelier I’ve installed especially for you.
The camera pans until it’s facing directly upwards. It shows a large circular structure, about 10 foot across made up of numerous crystal vases filled with a translucent thick white slime. A bright spotlight from above shines through, with the light refracting in many directions. Then 6 of the vases from different points of the circle start to lower down. The camera pans until the 6 vases stop about 8 foot above the ground, although a cord drops down from each one a few more feet.
Porcelain: It already looks amazing doesn’t it, but just you wait until the grand cascade, when all that slime’s going to come crashing down.
Chloe: No! Let me out now or your dead.
Chloe lunges forward to try to grab Porcelain, but hampered by the straps around her legs Porcelain just casually steps out the way.
Porcelain: You want to move away. Well all you’ve got to do is find the six keys to the padlocks. That shouldn’t be too difficult should it. Think carefully and you’ll realise there’s only one place the keys could be, and it’s just about in reach.
With that Porcelain struts away, pausing by a small coffee table, where she pauses to turn over an hourglass positioned on to of it.
Porcelain: It’s playtime.
Chloe angrily pulls at the straps with an annoyed grunt, but they don’t give. She looks around and she shuffles towards one of the lower vases. She reaches up with her hands, and can just about reach the chord when she positions herself directly under the vase. The camera cuts to the vase, as it slowly turns over, and a trickle of thick white slime pours out. The camera cuts to Chloe. She is leaning back, trying to avoid the slime, and although it misses her face and hair, it is slowly pouring on to her exposed cleavage and down her dress. Seconds pass before we see Chloe glance over. The camera cuts to the hour glass, and we see a quarter of the time has already passed. The camera cuts back to Chloe, who with a grunt of exasperation pulls down sharply on the cord. The camera briefly cuts to the vase as it turns over completely, before cutting back to Chloe ducking her head slightly as the whole vase full of slime splashes down on top of her, soaking her hair in a thick transparent glaze. She takes several deep gasps in shock, before reaching down and grabbing a key from a puddle of slime on the floor. She quickly shuffles over to the ring in the middle of the floor, and tries the key on the padlocks, the third one she tries pops open.
The camera cuts back to the hourglass, and we see a little over half her time is left. The camera cuts back to one looking down on Chloe, reaching up and pulling sharply down on another cord. Another vase full of slime splashes heavily down on her, much of it soaking into her hair, and also her dress which now glistens thanks to it’s soaking in slime. The camera cuts back to the hourglass to show only about 40 percent of her time is left. It cuts back to a shot of one of the padlocks as it pops open thanks to the second key. The camera cuts to Chloe, wiping some of the slime from her hair as she hurriedly shuffles forwards to the next nearest vase. This time the camera watches from behind as once again she reaches up and a vase of slime once again cascades down on her, this time we see it dripping down her back. She turns around and shuffles towards the camera, visibly out of breath due to the physical exertion. She once again tries the key on the padlocks and the second one she tries pops open.
The camera cuts to the hourglass and we see only a fifth of the time is left. The camera cuts back to Chloe, who is now desperately tugging at the chain, after several desperate screams she once again starts to pull at the leather straps. This time she is able to move the one around her ankles, thanks to the lubrication from all the slime, by pushing on it very firmly she is able slide it off. In response she rolls over on to her back, and starts to push down on the strap above her knees. It has some give, but she can only wiggle it over her knees very slowly, by moving only one side at once. Eventually she gets the strap over her knees, but as she does to the camera cuts to the hour glass as the last of the sand runs out. A loud siren blares out, and the camera cuts to an upwards facing shot of the chandelier, as vases start to turn over in a random pattern, emptying the slime downwards as they do. The camera cuts to Chloe as large splash of slime falls down on her. She rolls on her front, and tries to make a dash for it, but immediately slips over, another splash of slime falling onto her head as she falls down on her bottom. She lets out a scream as she huddles her body in to a ball, trying to dodge the slime, but unable to avoid the downwards torrent.
About 40 seconds later the slime eventually stops falling, and the Chloe zooms in on Chloe as she uncurls from her ball. Slime now covers her whole mess, leaving her a bedraggled mess in the middle of a large puddle of thick slime.
Roll Opening Titles.
Scene 2:
The camera starts with a large establishing shot looking down the corridor of an opulent looking mansion. The floorboards are made from dark wood, and the walls painted a dark green. Several doors line both the long main walls. We here a loud message being broadcast across the p a system.
P A System: Emergency! Emergency! Would all contestants please make their way to the Grande Ballroom.
The camera cuts several times to show a number of beautiful women, coming through different doors. They are all smartly turned out, like they are dressed for a smart, formal gathering. All look a little confused as they head down the corridor. The eagle eyed may recognize one of them as Athena, the girl that barely escaped one of Porcelain’s traps in the previous film. The camera cuts to some of the girls as they talk while hurriedly walking down the corridor.
Paris: What the hell is going on? I was supposed to be resting.
Athena: Is this an actual emergency or part of the show?
Paris: Well I don’t see any cameramen around.
Rachel: There’s remote cameras about. If you look you can see some of them following us.
The camera cuts to a shot of a CCTV camera. A green light blinks on and off. The camera then cuts back to a shot of the same ball room Chloe was trapped in. A shot shows the chandelier, now empty of it’s load back up in the ceiling. A long shot shows the room has been cleaned up, and a giant TV screen has been screwed to on of the walls. The camera cuts to the girls as they finish their conversation.
Kristy: Well of course it’s part of the show. If it was a real emergency they wouldn’t send us here on our own like this. They’d be escorting us out of the mansion.
The camera cuts to a shot looking at the TV screen, the seven girls now standing in front of it wondering what‘s next. Suddenly there is a flash, and a familiar face appears on the screen..
Porcelain: Hello “celebrities”. It’s playtime.
On the TV screen is Princess Porcelain. She sits on an ornate throne, painted gold with red velvet cushions. Images of haunting Victorian dolls and teddy bears are carved on the throne as decoration. To the left of Porcelain is a small wooden side table with a couple of items on it, including an ornately decorated wine goblet, to the right of her is a giant hourglass, which looks about four foot tall. The main focus though is Porcelain herself. Still wearing the same stunning red pvc ball gown, stiletto boots, and eye catching hair and make up she wore when taunting Chloe.
Athena: Porcelain!
Porcelain: Athena, you remember me. I’m touched. I had my doubts over the clarity of your memory after buying your book, which to my surprise was located in the non-fiction section.
Porcelain reaches over and picks up a book off the table. She holds it up as she reads the back, and we see a caricature like drawing of Princess Porcelain on the cover.
Porcelain: Read how she heroically escapes from the traps, designed by the fiendish Princess Porcelain. From what I remember you barely avoided a drop into my custard pit, and that was only because I felt sorry for you and gave you a head start.
Athena: I’m sorry. I didn’t even write that, it was my ghost writer under instructions from our publisher.
Porcelain: Oh don’t worry Athena I’m not angry with you. I’ve followed your career closely and I should be thanking you. Thanks to you I’ve become acutely aware of one of societies greatest scourges. You see, all our lives me and my companions have suffered because we didn’t fit in. Didn’t conform to what society deemed we should be. Well up to now I never stopped to think, where do people get their ideas from? Who lays down the boundaries of what is and isn’t the norm. Well thanks to you Athena I got my answer. It’s the world of celebrity. The people who go out on the red carpets, showing everyone how to dress, who sell the stories of the wonderful lives people supposedly should aspire to in trashy magazine, the people who spread their bullshit ideologies and messages on stupid, trashy reality shows.
Paris: Oh come on. It’s not that bad.
Porcelain: Really? We live in a world where you get more money and recognition for spending a few weeks lounging in a bikini on a reality show than you do for winning a Nobel prize. News of great heroism is kept off the front pages by news of a celebrity marriage. A world where trashy biographies outsell booker prize winners. Well today I’m going to put an end to that. I’m going to show the world what their so called heroes are really like. When that happens they’ll worship you no more. They’ll no longer feel the need to act within the narrow confines of acceptability laid down by the likes of you. You see today, your no longer living the fantasy celebrity lifestyle. Instead your facing my reality.
Kristy: Yeah! How are you going to do that sitting on your little throne there. There’s not much you can do to us down here.
Porcelain: Oh, I wouldn’t say that. Look where I am.
The camera pointing at Porcelain turns around, it moves forward through an open doorway. It enters a large hi-tech control room, with numerous monitors on the wall. In the centre are five people, huddled together nervously, each sat in an office chair. Standing a short distance from them are a group of people, including a couple of Porcelain’s known associates, wearing black jumpsuits, and holding an aerosol can of chlorofoam, that they’re pointing threateningly at the people in the chairs.
Amy: Katy! Mel! What the hell is this about?
Porcelain: I’m afraid the original producers are no longer in control. We’ve taken over.
Rachel: How? How on earth could you ever do this?
The camera cuts back to the big screen that is now showing Porcelain again.
Porcelain: What you now do for the next couple of hours is entirely up to you. Well sort of, but seeing as you agreed to be under the control of those in the production rooms, I‘m not making you do anything you haven‘t already agreed to. This mansion was set up to give the producers full control, I control everything, the sound systems, the cameras, which doors will and won’t unlock, even the windows are secured to make sure no one tries to sneak out. Most interestingly of all I have access to the computer that controls the sprinkler system. The mansions rural location, and the programmes insurance company require there has to be a large tank of fresh water for the sprinklers to use in case of fire. Well what would happen if someone interfered with the contents of the tank. Maybe replaced the water with some horrible substance. I don’t know, a liquidized mixture of garbage water, horse manure, engine oil, curdled milk and rotten eggs. I’d hate to be out there when the sprinklers went off.
Paris: She’s bluffing. There’s no way she’d ever do that.
Athena: I wouldn’t be too sure.
Porcelain: Well done Athena. Your a fast learner. In case there is any doubt though, I think a demonstration is called for. Gary, why don’t you set the sprinklers off, just in studio 1.
The camera pointing at Porcelain swings around again, and points at a closed, white door with a large square window on the upper half. The camera moves closer until we’re looking through it. We see a large, room, with white walls, and 2 other closed doors on different walls. In the middle we a collection of 7 shop mannequins, with wigs, dresses and shoes that mean they slightly resemble the 7 contestants. Suddenly a loud electronic beep is heard, quickly followed by nine more in quick rhythmic succession. On the final beep a rain of a dark brown liquid descends from above. Very quickly the mannequins are all soaked in a dark brown, fowl looking liquid.
The camera cuts back to the ballroom where we see all the contestants looking on in shock.
Amy: You’re going to do that to us?
Porcelain: Of course not. That would be so mean of me. What happens next is entirely up to you. Around the mansion you’ll find I’ve very kindly set up a number of my playrooms. In fact there’s a place to play for every one of you where you‘ll have no worries about that fowl smelling sludge. All you’ve got to do is find your playroom, then come in and play with me. Do that and you’ll be given access to a place where you’ll be safe from all that sludge in a couple of hours time. Of course if you don’t want to play with me, well Athena‘s right there, I’m sure she can tell you what happens.
Cleo: Come on. This isn’t on. You can’t just imprison people and force them to play your sick games. It’s inhuman.
Porcelain: I‘m not forcing anyone to do anything. If you decide not to play, and would rather face those consequences, that‘s entirely your decision. I don’t really see why your complaining anyway. You all signed contracts. You all whored yourself to the producers in search of fame. Well I’m about to give you exactly what you wanted. I’m going to make you world wide news.
As Porcelain speaks we notice the giant hourglass next to her slowly turns over, moved by some unseen mechanism. The camera then cuts to a close up of Porcelain’s face.
Porcelain: Hurry up your time is limited. Your all invited to my party, and, iiiiiiit’s playtime.