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Tall, black-haired Adeline Becker stepped onto the stage, grinning. “Welcome back everyone, to the Messy Gunge Grand Prix! This is our preview/preshow for Round Two – with time in short supply, we’ve combined the episodes! But don’t worry – we’ve still got enough time to prepare our contestants for the next round – and still welcome some very special celebrity guests!
“But first, let’s welcome back my two co-presenters, Megan and Waverly!”
The audience applauded as the two girls walked onto stage side-by-side: short and curvy blue-haired Waverly, dressed cutely in a pink skirt and silver top combo; and attractive Indian stats girl Megan, wearing a white shirt and dark slacks but remaining totally barefoot. They separated at mid stage, Megan moving over to her desk while Waverly skipped over to stand beside the sofa. Adeline grinned, and continued.
“And our celebrity guests tonight are special indeed! They may have received a disappointingly early exit in the first round of the Gunge Grand Prix, but they’re still welcome on our show: from Knight Squad, Lilimar Hernandez and Savannah May!”
The two young women walked onto the stage, smiling – though Savannah rather more so than Lilimar. They sat down on the sofa, and Adeline leaned forward to address them.
“So, how do the two of you feel about being eliminated in the first round of your first eligible year for the GGP? Are you disappointed?”
Savannah smiled. “I guess a little, but it’s not really that unexpected – like you said, it was our first eligible year, so we were honoured to be in the tournament at all!”
“I’m frustrated,” Lilimar cut in. “I was so close to beating Felicia Day and making it through to the next round! If I’m disappointed at all, it’s in the people who voted for a voice actress over Savannah!”
“Certainly, there were some who were quite disappointed by your performance – most nearly your showmate Lexi DiBenedetto, who paid quite the price for it!”
The screen behind Megan displayed a clip from the round one aftershow, the lovely blonde young woman trapped in a pillory and being utterly covered in mess. Savannah winced.
“But I’m glad that you brought up your competitors in the last round, Lilimar,” said Adeline, “since that’s what you agreed to gamble on. Though as it happens, the two of you chose rather different terms… Savannah?”
“I’m hoping for the best for Marisha Ray!” Savannah said brightly. “I have no hard feelings! And I’m betting on her – for every round she gets through, the Messy Gunge Grand Prix has agreed to donate money to a charity of my choice!”
“Of course, it’s not just a one-sided agreement.” Adeline cut in. “The gambling part is what you agreed in return for that, Savannah – once Marisha is eliminated, you’ll receive a messy punishment of your own – and the earlier she’s eliminated, the more spectacular your punishment will be!”
Savannah just smiled. “I’m supporting her! She’s going to do great!”
Lilimar shook her head. “Well, I’m not rooting for Felicia Day – my deal is for a chance at revenge! Once she’s eliminated, I want a chance to mess her up myself on the aftershow!”
Adeline nodded. “We agreed as much – but in return, for every round that Felicia isn’t eliminated, you’ll receive a penalty – building in mess and humiliation each time!”
Lilimar smirked. “I’m fine with getting a little messy, and that’s all I’m going to get – she’s going down, sooner rather than later.”
Adeline smiled. “Thank you to the pair of you – and we’ll see you in the aftershow! Now, on to the contestants in our little prediction competition – let’s give them all a big welcome back on stage!”
The audience clapped wildly as the sixteen lovely contestants strode on stage, all once again clean – though once again with a few more stubborn stains that attempts to remove had not succeeded – and in various states of dress – many barefoot, and others showing considerably more.
Of particular note: Lana, a haughty redhead whose only visible attire was a white thigh length business shirt, revealing the entirety of her long pale legs as she strode on stage staring fixedly ahead; Jak, a cute, pig-tailed brunette, grinning wildly despite being dressed in only a revealing bra and denim pedal pushers, stumbling slightly as she walked; and Isobel, an attractive brunette – notably slightly older than the university-aged girls around her – skirtless in a white shirt and semi-opaque tights.
All of the contestants made their way to a grid of chairs set out for them – Lana in particular taking her seat carefully so as not to give the audience a peek up her shirt – and waited for Adeline to continue.
“It’s good to have you all back again for Round Two! Before the round begins, there’s a few bits of admin that we need to get out of the way.
“First of all – you all have different numbers of nominees remaining, and there are also fourteen celebrities surviving in the tournament who are as yet unchampioned.” As she spoke, the details of these celebrities appeared on the screen. “You each have the opportunity to purchase additional nominees – but any such purchase made in this round will come at a cost: you will receive a double-penalty for each such nominee subsequently eliminated! In the same manner, you can again try to steal another contestant’s nominees… but once again, it will come with an additional penalty, with the double-score being added to the price already on that celebrity!”
Some of the contestants winced at this. Adeline continued.
“There is one exception to this, however – Nikki!” She turned to look at the fit mixed-race athlete. “For winning the bonus challenge before round one, you get to select a single nominee without the double-score – something you should definitely take advantage of, with just two celebrities remaining!”
Nikki scrutinised the board for a moment, looking grim. “No sportswomen left! And I’d like to go for Jo Wilson, but she’s up against my nominee Michelle Wie in this round.” She sighed. “I’ll pick Lynsey Hipgrave.”
“Interesting choice. Before the rest of you pick, however, I have bad news for one of you – Octavia!”
The satirical feminist jumped, her eyes widening.
“Unfortunately, your contestants Shappi Khorsandi and Geri Halliwell are competing in this round, and so as per our rules you have to select which one you think will win, doubling your score on that contestant.”
Octavia’s face screwed up at the choice before her. It had all seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she was stuck with a bunch of loathsome celebrities. She groaned. “Ugh, really, how am I supposed to choose between some godless atheist comedienne and a washed-up pop tart, both past their prime?”
Her pondering was interrupted by Lana rising to her feet. “As a future lawyer, I’m trying to become accustomed to defending even those I find personally… distasteful,” she said, sneering slightly at Octavia.
“And I have to say, the rules governing match-ups like this are unfair. It may have been a different case in round one, when the only person who ended up in that situation did so due to their own sheer idiocy, but expecting us to predict which of our nominees might wind up matched-up later – and penalising us for it! – is simply nonsensical! Would it be the most skillful selection of all that saw two of our choices matched in the final?”
Adeline sighed. “Quite a speech… though not quite as riveting a performance, I think, as the one that you gave us all at the end of the last show!” The audience laughed as Lana flushed.
“Nevertheless, you do raise a good point. What do you propose, in this case? Obviously, it makes no sense for Octavia to retain both nominees.”
Lana smiled, and leaned forward slightly. “I agree! And the solution you have at the moment, of Octavia choosing which of the two she thinks will be victorious, is entirely sensible. In fact, I think that it should even be formally part of the rules that a wrong guess receives a major penalty in the next round, just as you wanted to do with Jak!
“Where I disagree is that I think she should be allowed to freely choose another nominee, so that she remains at five remaining going into the next round.”
Adeline smiled. “Well, that seems agreeable – and I can certainly agree to seeing that any such wrong guess in this situation will be punished harshly! In that case… hurry up and choose, Octavia, and then choose your bonus nominee!”
Octavia grumbled in disgust. “Uh… at least Shappi Khorsandi has never been a stripper or whatever it was Halliwell used to be, so I’ll go for her.” She brightened up slightly. “And for my new nominee I choose Lindsey Stirling – she’s actually served as a missionary, even if she is a weirdo Mormon.”
“Good. With that resolved, let’s move on to selecting the remaining nominees-”
Understandably, Isobel’s hand was up like a shot – with only one of her nominees remaining, Isobel would be particularly vulnerable in the next round.
“Octavia may think that Geri is ‘past her prime’, but I actually remember the Spice Girls! If she doesn’t want Geri, I’m more than happy to champion her!”
Jak’s hand shot eagerly into the air, the girl bouncing in her chair in her enthusiasm. This of course has the effect of causing her bra-clad breasts to frantically jiggle, so it worked to catch attention well enough. “I can support Marsh… Maristz… Marisha Ray again!” She giggled. Adeline sighed.
“Okay. Who else?”
Katye coughed. “I want Victoria Justice, Ariel Winter, and Kira Kosarin.”
There was a shocked pause, and then all of the contestants began shouting at once, protesting that the rich brat grabbing up three contestants was completely unfair. Katye just laughed.
“It’s not my fault that you British bitches were too stupid and lazy to grab what you wanted! I’d have grabbed more if there were even any let getting!”
The only response came from Lana, who matched Katye’s laughter with a derisive chuckle of her own. “Katye is correct, and there’s nothing against the rules in what she’s done. Of course, she’s wrong in assuming that anyone else would have done the same, since, unlike the rest of us, she’s never had to consider the price of anything before when she’s got Daddy’s money to buy it with. She’s just splashed out on a bunch of luxuries at a premium… and this time, she’ll be paying for all of it herself.” Lana paused, and then turned to look at Adeline, smiling slightly. “No more nominees for me, thank you.”
Adeline raised an eyebrow. “Well then. After Katye’s selection, there’s still a few left – who still wants to get another nominee?”
Grace raised her hand. “Angela Scanlon, for Robot Wars.”
Emmy jumped in: “And I’ll take Roisin Conaty – she’s pretty funny on Have I Got News For You!”
Next was Raven: “There may not be many decent singers left, so I’ll put in a support for Aerosmith through Liv Tyler.”
Now Petra, raising an elegant hand to the air, but in the process making it obvious that she was still lacking a bra after the events of the last round: “I’ll put in my support for the lovely Laura Fitmore- I mean, Whitmore!”
Becca leapt perkily in. “I’d like to cheer on the lovely Perrie Edwards of Little Mix!”
Adeline seemed somewhat surprised at the sudden rush – no doubt prompted by Katye’s mass celebrity grab – but took it in stride. “Very well, then. If that’s everything-”
“I believe that I must speak up now in order to support Mavournee Hazel, a relatively untried talent, true, but one with the potential-”
“Thank you, Fay. And if that’s it, then it’s the end of the show…
“Well, except for one last thing.” Adeline grinned wickedly. “You may remember way back in our first show, myself and my co-hosts were each assigned the task of providing an brief introduction for a particular contestant. I was assigned the lovely Kira Kosarin – who is still going strong in the second round, even if she is now being championed by Katye!”
A mock-sorrowful expression crossed her face. “Unfortunately, Megan and Waverly’s contestants didn’t do so well at all… so I’m afraid that I’m going to need the pair of you to join me on the punishment area!”
Waverly looked a little nervous, but her expression was as nothing compared to Megan’s. The two young woman walked across to the area specified together.
“Before your punishment,” Adeline began, “remind me of what you said about Camille Hyde’s loss in this round?”
Megan’s eyes widened. “Her match was the least voted-in of the round. But-”
Adeline raised her hand. “Well. It’s only seems fair for you to be punished the same as our contestants, doesn’t it? I’m going to have to ask you to strip one item of clothing.”
Megan looked utterly horrified at the prospect – she’d already felt uncomfortable doing the show with her feet bare, and whatever she removed at this stage would mean showing off her underwear. Adeline continued. “… But, since you’re not a contestant, I can offer you a deal.” Megan’s eyes locked onto Adeline as she smiled and continued.
“It seems fair to me to offer an alternative that would leave you with the same number of clothes. You can take off either your shirt or your slacks now or, before the next show, swap both of them for a dress instead – a dress of my choice.”
Megan hesitated for a second. “It won’t be some kind of weird super-fetish dress?”
Adeline shook her head. “It might be more revealing than what you’d usually wear, but it’ll be a normal dress.”
Megan sighed. It was really no choice at all. “Fine, then. I’ll take the deal.”
Adeline smirked. “Good choice – and now for the mess! Since both of your celebrities were Pink Power Rangers, it seemed appropriate for the pair of you to be turned into pink rangers too – the messy way! But where could I find a group of volunteers willing and eager to mess you both up, especially on such short notice?”
The sixteen contestants trooped back onto the stage, each carrying a bucket; they all looked more than ready for a chance at revenge! Circling out, they surrounded Megan and Waverly. Adeline stepped out through the ring.
“And, for an accompaniment… well, Raven mentioned Aerosmith earlier, and that seems pretty appropriate under the circumstances!”
As the strains of Aerosmith’s song Pink began to blare over the loudspeakers, the gazes of the contestants locked onto the two presenters, and the bombardment began. The only good thing, Megan thought ruefully, was that at least she wasn’t their prime target; given the choice between the bubbly girl who had gleefully pied them and the stats-nerd who sat over on the desk, most of the contestants had an obvious preference. Megan was mainly getting splattered from splash over and a few missed shots.
What was being thrown at them seemed to be a real mix of stuff, provided that it hit the theme; pink custard, melted strawberry ice cream… she didn’t really want to think what else there might be! But it was definitely poor Waverly who was getting the bulk of it – she was being splattered from all sides by great bucketfuls of mess! The stuff smashed hard into her cute and not-especially protective trendy clothes, and dripped past them into her cleavage. Before long the cheery girl had been reduced to a big pink blob.
Megan remained relatively clean – at least until she locked eyes with Becca, and realised that the cheerleader remained still, her bucket unspent. The girl smiled vengefully, and with well-trained aim hurled the contents of her bucket directly at Megan.
The stuff smashed right into Megan’s face and shirt, and she stumbled backwards, wincing at the powerful smell of it as she did so. Her eyes were stinging and her skin itching, and with disgust she realised that what had been thrown right over her was Marie Rose sauce. So much for staying clean!
As the song trailed off, Adeline closed the show: “And we’ll see you soon for the results of round two – and Megan in a dress! Thank you to our contestants, and our guests Savannah May and Lilimar Hernandez!”