Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
The story starts on the set of the Breakfast morning TV show that Susanna Reid co-hosts….
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Susanna: “Our next guest is sports reporter Bianca Westwood. Welcome Bianca!”
Bianca: “Thank you for having me Susanna.”
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Susanna: “I understand you are taking part in a charity cake baking competition. Can you tell us about that?”
Bianca: “Of course I can. We will be making cakes at the West Ham versus Crystal Palace match tomorrow, and all the sale proceeds will go to a local charity.”
Susanna: “Sounds good. How many cakes are you looking to make?”
Bianca: “There’s quite a few of us involved, so we’re hoping to make 500.”
Susanna: “Wow, that’s a large number! What types of cake will they be?”
Bianca: “There will be a variety of different ones – chocolate, cream, vanilla, and of course custard pies!”
Susanna: “I hope you don’t get messy as you make them. Haha!”
Bianca: “I’ll try not to. Hey, why don’t you pop down as it’s your Palace team that are playing against my team West Ham?”
Susanna: “I am actually already coming along, as I’m looking forward to watching Palace beat West Ham. I’ll make sure to swing by your cake making stall.”
Bianca: “Oh good! I’m going to make a special West Ham cake with claret and blue icing, so you will have to buy that.”
Susanna: “I’m not sure I’m going to want to buy a West Ham cake….”
Susanna mocks being sick and puts two fingers in her mouth
Bianca: “Hey, I’ll even buy it for you, and I’ll make a special delivery for you…..right in your face! Haha!”
Susanna: “That’s not very nice! I may have to buy a chocolate cream cake and slap it on your bottom!”
As the two ladies started to bicker and threaten to pie each other, Susanna’s co-hosts Charlotte Hawkins and Kate Garraway had to intervene.
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Charlotte: “Please calm down ladies! Why don’t we settle this by having a very special CSWL show for tomorrow’s match!”
Bianca: “No problem! West Ham are definitely going to be victorious, so it will be Susanna getting messy and humiliated!”
Susanna: “Bring it on! I think Palace are going to teach you and West Ham a lesson tomorrow, so it will be you with gunk in your hair and all over your body….”
Kate turns to the camera: “Fighting talk from both ladies there. For this impromptu CSWL show, let me explain the rules. If your team concedes 1 goal then it is a good old fashioned custard pieing. For the second goal conceded, then it will also be a trip to the gunge tank….”
Charlotte continues “If your team has a bad night and concedes 3 goals then you’ll also get to go in the dunk tank, plus you will have to do all forfeits in your underwear…”
Kate: “….and if there’s 4 goals or more conceded, then you will also endure an extra special messing, plus you will have to do all forfeits naked.”
Bianca and Susanna looked fiercely at each other as they heard the rules.
Bianca: “You’re so going to get naked and messy Susanna!”
Susanna: “Nope, I think it will be you showing your tits and bum with most probably gunge dripping from them!”
Charlotte continued with the rules “There will also be spins of the Forfeit Wheel for bookings, red cards and any penalties missed. Join us tomorrow for the show…..”
Kate: “There will also be a viewer prediction competition. All you have to do is guess the time of the first goal scored and nominate a lady. If you are the nearest to the correct time, then your nominated lady will feature in the show. Please put your predictions and nominations in the comments box below. Entries close at 17:30 (BST) on Saturday, which is the start time of the match. Good luck!”