“Welcome to another episode of CWSL! I’m your host today Kirsty Gallacher and I’m very excited to be overseeing this Europa Leauge clash between two teams that made it to the semi-final and final of the tournament last year, Eintracht Frankfurt and Arsenal!”
Kirsty is wearing a sleeveless blue top and a black trousers. Her hair is wavy and half swept over her shoulder.
“So without further ado, let’s meet our celebrity representing Arsenal, she’s a member of one of the world’s biggest bands and the girlfriend of former Arsenal midfielder Alex Oxlade Chamberlain, Perrie Edwards!”
Perrie struts onto the stage, she’s wearing an Arsenal shirt, tied up to show off her midriff and a pair of skin tight elastically black shorts.
Yes, I know it’s a Liverpool shirt, use your imagination.
“Hi Perrie! Welcome to the show! Are you feeling confident about tonight?”
“I guess so” says Perrie “but I don’t see why I should be doing this, Alex doesn’t play for Arsenal anymore”
“Well if you’re confident in your team then it shouldn’t matter anyway!, let’s meet Frankfurt’s representative today, German singer and former Eurovision champion Lena Meyer Landrut!”
Lena walks onto to the stage, she’s wearing a small black crop top and black cargo pants.
“Welcome to the show Lena, how are you feeling?”
“A little nervous if I’m honest, but I know Arsenal have a habit of losing these type of games”
“Fighting talk from Lena there!” Replies Kirsty. “We’ll see how that goes. Now time to explain the rules tonight, First off goals conceded. If your team let it one goal, you’ll be on the receiving end of a extra sloppy custard pie! A second goal will earn our singers a trip to the gunge tank and a third goal will see them in the pillory, as well as being stripped to their underwear!” At this point both Perrie and Lena are starting to look slightly apprehensive. “If your team have a really bad night and ship four goals then you’ll be going in our dunk tank, naked!” At this point Perrie’s eyes are wide open in shock while Lena has her hands clasped over her mouth and nose. “They’ll also be forfeits for cards, missed penalties and offsides!”
Suddenly Kirsty’s face falls and she looks slightly nervous and uncomfortable. “Now, Celtic are also playing tonight against Rennes of France and the producers have decided that being Scottish, I should represent them! So, if Celtic get a bad result tonight then I’ll be having a bad night too!” The audience laughs at Kirsty’s situation but a wry smile forms on her face. “However! If Celtic get a result, I believe we have a French lady in our audience tonight? Where are you Chole? A spotlight suddenly falls on a woman towards the back of the audience whose face is immediately filled with shock. “Ah there you are! Did you read that paper you singed before coming in today?
“Um…not really” replied the French girl, who was wearing a black and white polka dot blouse and a long red skirt.
“Oh dear, you probably should have, that was your consent form!” Chole’s expression changes from shocked to nervous as she realises what’s going on. “So Chole, if Celtic have a good night against Rennes, it’s you that will be getting messy!” Chole bends her face down into her hands as she ponders the prospect of a very humiliating and disgusting evening.
“So I think all four of us will be watching the games tonight very nervously! Tune in tonight after the games are finished to watch the forfeits play out, see you then!”